I'm sorry

I know I fucked up but I swear I didn't mean to hurt u

I was just talking shit with the guys, it didn't mean anything, they're not gonna even remember it tomorrow

I love u so much

Sky

Sky please say something

I'm worried

Just let me know that u r okay

Sky please, I love u

r u breaking up with me?

Please don't dump me Sky I'll do anything

Let me take u out after school tomorrow, I can skip Karate, I just wanna apologize to u

I'm sorry

Sky let out a long sigh as she scrolled through the messages Hawk had sent her last night and this morning. She laid her spoon back into the bowl of cereal and stirred her food absentmindedly - she had no appetite and even the smell of milk was making her nauseous.

The night had been a literal nightmare. She had woken up every half an hour or so, gasping for air as panic gripped her heart with claws of ice. She had been sure she was in Matt's living room again, she had seen him standing in the doorway, laughing as he ran his fingers through his blond hair. She had watched him shoot Kat, had tasted blood on her lips when she woke up screaming, covered in a cold sweat.

Dad had suggested she skipped school today and got some rest instead, but Sky was having none of that. After the horrors of last night, Sky desperately needed some normalcy - she needed her friends, she needed the distraction school offered. Besides—

Today they would hand the science project to the teacher, and Sky didn't want to miss it.

"Try to eat something," Dad's gentle voice said, bringing Sky back to the moment. "Or at least drink your coffee."

"I'm trying."

She picked up her mug and started sipping her latte - realizing Dad had put at least twice the normal amount of sugar in it. It was so sweet it made her grimace.

"Sky, about what you told me last night—"

She put the mug back down. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything—"

"No, I'm glad you did. And I just called Dr. Adams. She has time to see you today, Sky. After school."

"Dad—"

"It's good that you decided to open up," Dad said, his voice soft but stern. "But I can't— I can't help you, not properly. You need to talk to a professional about this, Sky."

Sky wrapped her cold fingers around the coffee mug to absorb some of its warmth. The scent of coffee, cardamon, and sweet vanilla filled her senses, but her stomach went tight with fear and anxiety. She knew dad was right, but it didn't make it any easier.

"Sky, it's important. You have to tell your therapist about this. She can't help you get better if you keep secrets like this from her."

"I know."

"I'll pick you up after school and take you to see her. Okay? Don't make any other plans."

Sky nodded but kept her eyes on the table. She didn't want to see the pity in Dad's eyes, the worry. She didn't want to see if Dad looked at her differently now that he knew what she was.

She hoped she could take back every word she had said last night.

With a sigh, she picked up her phone and read Hawk's messages again. The sharp suffocating hurt and anger she had felt towards him the day before had turned into a dull ache that weighed heavily on her chest.

She missed him, missed his arms around her, missed the sound of his heartbeat, his scent of cotton and boy, she missed everything about him and she wanted so very badly to believe that he was sorry, that he really hadn't meant to hurt her, that it didn't have to end, not now, not like this.

She also knew that if she wanted to make him understand why she had been so upset, she needed to tell him the truth.

That thought turned her stomach into a cold lump of ice. She felt like she would be sick. To tell Hawk what Matt had done—

He would never want to touch her again. He would think she was dirty, ruined, damaged goods.

He would hate her for keeping a secret.

We agreed on no lies. He deserves to know the truth even if It'll kill me to tell him.

Her hands were trembling slightly when she started typing an answer to Hawk's messages. Her cereal got soaked in the bowl, her coffee got cold. For a long time she typed and deleted, typed and deleted until finally, frustrated with her lack of the right words, she simply settled on:

We need to talk

—and hit the send arrow before she could regret it.

"I have to go now," Sky said and stood up, stuffing her phone into her pocket and hoping Dad wouldn't notice she hadn't eaten anything. "Will you drive me to school?"

She kept her eyes down, to not accidentally meet Dad's gaze. She would never be able to look him in the eye again.

"Ready when you are," Dad said silently, and placed his coffee mug on the table letting out a long sigh.

We need to talk.

Sky had sent that text in the morning and Hawk hadn't heard from her since, no matter that he had written at least a dozen texts back, all apologies and confessions of love, all telling her he would do anything to make things better—

But she hadn't even read the texts he'd sent her. And the four words she had written were carving Hawk's heart out of his chest as he read them for the 100th time, hoping against all hope that he had misunderstood something.

We need to talk.

Isn't that like the universal code for a breakup? There's not even an emoji. I'm so fucking screwed.

He was suffocating. It was as if the air lacked oxygen, it made him nauseous, his head was spinning. Sky was breaking up with him and it was killing him, he would die here in the cafeteria during the lunch hour, his heart was giving up, it would stop, it would shatter into pieces and soon he would throw it up all over the floor.

"Dude, was it Moon?" Rickenberger's voice cut through Hawk's thoughts.

He frowned. "What?"

"The chick you banged in the janitor's closet. Was it Moon? She's fucking hot—"

"No, jeez—" Hawk slapped the back of Rickenberger's head. "Don't be an idiot."

"I bet it wasn't Yasmine," Rickenberger laughed. "She's so fucking cold she'd freeze your cock off."

Hawk simply rolled his eyes, not wanting to say anything that would encourage this conversation as he had promised Sky the guys would soon forget all about this - which he still hoped would happen. To distract both himself and his friends, he started playing with the soccer ball he was holding in his hands.

"I'm gonna try for a new record," he said. "Someone's better be filming me."

"Maybe it was the LaRusso bitch," Rickenberger smirked. "She's got a great ass."

"What are you talking about?" asked the tall red-headed dude whose name Hawk had never bothered to learn. He had just joined Hawk and the other cobras who were hanging out in the cafeteria and had missed the beginning of the conversation.

"Hawk banged some chick in the janitor's closet yesterday and he won't tell us who it was," Edvin filled Red in before Hawk could do anything to stop him.

Hawk glanced at the smirking boy who was sitting on the table and resisted the urge to punch him in the face. This thing was spreading like a fucking wildfire, which was the last thing Hawk wanted, but what could he do? He couldn't beat them all into silence, could he? The only thing he could do was to hope that the guys would soon get something more interesting to think about, for if Sky heard them talking like this—

What does it matter anymore? She's fucking dumped me already.

That thought felt like a dagger through his heart, and it took all he had to hide it from his friends.

"Seriously? You fucked a girl in school?" The red-headed boy laughed. "Nice, Man! So, was it Moon?"

"No way am I gonna tell you dickheads anything," Hawk muttered and started playing with the ball again but no one seemed to be interested in his attempts to hit the record and he heard how they continued guessing who the girl had been. Rickenberger kept retelling the details Hawk had shared yesterday and all the guys laughed and made rude remarks, but instead of making him feel like a badass it now had the opposite effect on Hawk. He just wanted them to stop. Maybe he should just lie and tell them it had been some freshman babe, or one of the cheerleaders… those idiots would never find out that he had lied. And under no circumstances could they find out it had been Sky.

If that happened—

Hawk didn't even want to think about that. It would crush her. She would hate him for the rest of her days, and for a reason.

He kept kicking the soccer ball, trying to keep it in the air for as long as possible, shutting out the outside world the best he could.

…20, 21, 22–

"Hey, twenty-two in a row, new record." He turned to look at Red who'd been filming with his phone - but behind his friend he saw something that erased the fake smile from his lips in a heartbeat.

Demetri.

Fucking Demetri.

There he was, happily explaining something to Moon and Yasmine and some other pretty girls. There was some kind of a Lego building on the table in front of him and as Demetri kept talking and pointing at the Legos, the girls laughed and smiled and looked at him as if he was the fucking second coming.

Anger blinded Hawk's vision turning everything red.

That fucking nerd. If he hadn't been spying on Hawk and his friends yesterday, Sky never would have found out. Had Demetri kept his stupid, ugly mouth shut, Sky never would have broken up with him—

It was Demetri's fault.

All of it.

Every fucking bad thing that had happened to Hawk since he had flipped the script was Demetri's fault and losing Sky because that fucking geek couldn't keep his mouth shut, was just the last straw.

Without hesitation Hawk kicked the soccer ball straight into the Lego building and it exploded. Pieces flew in the air, they rained to the floor. The girls shrieked in shock, but Hawk couldn't have cared less.

He laughed when Demetri turned to look, murder in his dark eyes. Oh, it felt good, but this was just the beginning. He was going to beat that nerd into a puddle of bloody pulp, he was going to rip his spine out through his throat, he was going to kill him slowly—

And he would enjoy every single moment of it.

He walked closer and snatched the ball someone threw back at him. He couldn't help grinning as he observed the destruction his soccer ball had caused - whatever that stupid Lego structure had been, it was fucking demolished. The satisfaction that caused was sweet, it was the first good thing he had felt all this fucking day.

"Oh, I'm sorry man," he smirked in a way that let Demetri know he wasn't sorry at all. "Looks like my ball just got away from me."

Demetri's eyes were wide, the look in them was something Hawk had never seen.

"That took me three weeks to build."

"Eh, took my ball three seconds to destroy," he replied with a smirk.

Demetri's jaw clenched. Would he throw the first punch? Hawk could hardly wait. Oh, this was sweet, this was so fucking sweet—

"Oh, no! What—?" Came a shocked, strangled voice behind Hawk. "What—- what happened?"

He would have known that voice anywhere.

He swirled around his heart in his throat. The soccer ball slipped from his fingers that suddenly felt numb, it fell to the floor and rolled over the scattered Lego pieces as the realization hit him with the force of a train wreck.

In the middle of the ocean of Legos, stood Sky.

Thank you for all the reviews. I still haven't figured out a way to reply them on the app... but they bring me so much joy. It means the world to me to know that someone out there is reading this.

Happy new year to all of you!