Sky couldn't let go of the dream.
It had haunted her all day long, ever since the moment she had woken up in the middle of the night, sweaty and breathless, sheets tangled around her body, still feeling the last waves of the orgasm that had ripped her out of the dream.
Hawk's voice was still echoing in her ears. All the things I said… None of it was true. I just lied to hurt you. And her own soft whispers I forgive you. I love you. I can't live without you.
It had felt so fucking real. And when the truth had hit her, that it hadn't been real, that it had been just a stupid dream, a fucking stupid, desperate dream, Sky had cried herself back to sleep which had led to her starting this day with a horrible headache and two pills of OxyContin instead of one.
Now it was afternoon already, and the soft haze the drugs had provided had worn off hours ago. Sky would have wanted nothing but to go to bed, to take a pill or two or three, to cry herself back to sleep again and dream of Hawk, but that wasn't going to happen.
Not today.
"Is everything okay, hon?" asked Moon, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of her, painting Sky's nails with blue nail polish. "You seem a bit distracted."
"Yeah, I just… I didn't get a lot of sleep last night."
"Oh, poor you," Moon looked sympathetic. "Is it the full moon? It always affects my sleep rhythm. But you have time for a nap before the dance if you want to."
"Nah, it's okay," Sky forced a smile on her face. "I'll be fine."
They were at Moon's - Sam, Moon, Yasmine, and Sky, and despite the lingering sadness and the heavy weight of her broken heart, Sky had sworn to herself she would at least try to have fun. It was the day of the Halloween dance, and Moon had suggested they all came here to get ready together - and since it was Friday they could also come here after the party and have a Halloween sleepover.
Sky's first instinct had been to decline - but Dad had practically pushed her out of the door. Apparently, he was desperate to see signs that Sky was getting better, and having a sleepover at a friend's house was just that kind of a normal thing Dad wanted her to have.
Plus - Sky suspected Dad wanted to ask Lisa over to their place for the night. As much as thinking about Dad sleeping with someone grossed Sky out, she wasn't going to deny these simple pleasures from Dad. That man deserved to have some fun and happiness after all the crap Sky had put him through.
So she had packed her Halloween costume and her makeup, her pajamas, and her toiletries in a bag and left, and here she was now, getting her nails done by Moon, her hair by Yasmine and soon she'd at least look hot as fuck, even if she wasn't feeling like it.
And hey, who knew, with some booze and weed and her pills - maybe she'd be able to forget about Hawk and her broken heart, at least for one night?
As if reading her mind, Yasmine sailed into the room in her comfy but stylish sweats and slippers (none of them had yet changed into their costumes), holding a tray with four cute cocktail glasses filled with pink slush.
"Look what I've got," Yas flashed everyone a wicked grin, "I made us some strawberry margaritas."
Sam, who was sitting on the bed, her hair and makeup already done, glanced at Yasmine with a hesitating frown. "You sure that's a good idea, Yas? I mean, the dance is at school—"
Yasmine rolled her eyes and placed the tray on the dresser - after Moon had quickly made some space for it, pushing aside the brushes, straightening irons and hairsprays that lay scattered over the surface. "Live a little. It's just one drink! No one's even going to find out."
Sky reached to take a glass with her right hand as Moon continued painting the nails of her left one. She took a sip of the beverage that was just the perfect combination of tequila, ice slush, lime, and strawberries. It was sweet and cold with a bit of a kick, just the perfect thing for a girls' night out, and immediately Sky felt a bit better.
"Well if no one else is drinking, you can leave them all for me."
"Oh, I'm drinking," grinned Yas and took her glass in her already manicured hands. Her nail polish was dark green, just like her eyeshadow.
Sky smirked at her. "Is that because you're nervous about meeting a certain someone at the dance?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Yas replied, sipping on her cocktail, but the blushing of her cheeks betrayed her emotion.
It was no secret to anyone in this room that something was going on between Yasmine and Demetri. Half the time Sky wasn't sure if it was flirting or if it was a war, but the chemistry between those two was undeniable. Sky just hoped today was the day Yasmine finally admitted that too.
Moon smiled and let out a sweet giggle. "It's okay, Yas. Demetri is adorable."
"He's a nerd," Yasmine scrunched up her nose as if it was an ugly word.
"Fyi, nerds are great in bed," Sky noted, drinking more of her margarita. "It's all that I'll die a virgin no one will ever have sex with me -fear turned into real passion and gratitude when they finally get laid. They'll do anything you ask. Just you wait, Demetri will probably bang your brains out."
"Oh my God," Moon laughed.
"You have a dirty mouth," said Sam, but with a smile.
"Well, that's not the only dirty thing about me," Sky replied truthfully. "I'm such a slut, you all know it."
Her comment caused Sam to frown. She sounded serious when she spoke: "No you're not. Stop saying such things about yourself."
"Hey, I'm owning the word—" Sky laughed and emptied her drink. "Maybe I should get it tattooed? On my forehead? Do you have any more of these margaritas? It was amazing—"
"Maybe later," noted Yas, taking a seat on the bed, and all the other girls hummed in agreement. They had barely touched their drinks and suddenly Sky felt stupid, broken, an outsider. Apparently, she was alone with her wish to get drunk and high, which shouldn't have surprised her, but still made her feel like crap.
All these girls were nice and pretty and they had it all figured out. Again she was the monster under the bed, the witch in the woods, the odd one out.
She let out a long sigh, trying to repel those hateful thoughts that threatened to turn this night into a disaster before it had even begun. These girls were her friends, they wanted what was best for her - too bad that they had no idea what it was.
The longing in her heart was unbearable, and last night's dream had only made it a thousand times worse. She would never be whole again, she would never be complete without Hawk—
And everyone in this room hated him. They wouldn't even say his name in Sky's presence, probably thinking she would freak out or turn suicidal again. But the truth was that she was already freaking out and she was suicidal all the fucking time without Hawk, and only alcohol and pills helped to push that hurt down even a little bit so that she could pretend to be a normal person like the rest of them.
"So, what's the deal with you and Cody?" asked Moon, her soft voice drawing Sky back into the moment. She had just finished painting Sky's nails, and now closed the bottle of nail polish, turning her kind, worried chocolate eyes to meet hers.
"What do you mean? There's nothing between us." Sky replied though a deal was in fact a very good word to describe what there was. A deal that Cody would keep selling her opiates.
"Oh come on," Yasmine noted pretty sharply. "I see you talking with him every day in school. How do you even know him?"
"He sold me some weed," Sky shrugged. "What's the big deal? He sells to Moon too."
Moon smiled over her cocktail glass. "That's true. But it's not me he seeks out at school every day."
Sky let out a sigh and laid down on the bed on her back, observing her freshly painted nails. The blue was dark but clear, a beautiful shade of indigo that would look great with her outfit and her hair. She had to admit it - these girls knew what they were doing. And Moon had been right about Cody too. Since their not a date, he had been talking to her at school a lot. They had seen each other far more often than would have been a coincidence - in the cafeteria, in the library, at recess - and Sky wasn't quite sure what to think about it. He was clearly seeking her out, just to change a couple of words with her, just to ask how she was doing, give her a book recommendation, or just a smile as their paths crossed in the hallways. He was really cute and he'd been super nice to her, but still—-
He wasn't Hawk.
And Sky's heart was dead and barren land, where no love could ever grow again. So it was stupid to even think about Cody.
But of course, her friends wouldn't know that.
"Okay, he asked if I wanted to go to the Halloween dance with him." Sky admitted, rolling her eyes.
"What?" asked Moon, her eyes widening. "He did?"
"Well, what did you tell him?" Inquired Yasmine.
"Duh. I told him no, of course. I'm going with you guys."
"That's probably for the best," Moon said softly. "As I said, he might not be a good guy and I wouldn't want to see you hurt. How he treated Chrissy—"
"Yeah, I heard you the first time," Sky sighed. "Don't worry."
"Okay," Moon said. And then, after a short silence. "But Sky… I see how you look at him."
Sky felt her cheeks heating. She kept observing her nails as if watching the nail polish dry was the most interesting thing in the world.
"Well, he is pretty cute. Have you seen that face? It's like looking at the sun, I swear, he fucking blinds me. Doesn't mean I'll marry him or anything."
"If you say so."
"And he has really nice hands—" Sky added. What the Hell, at least by confessing this stuff she could keep avoiding topics that included Hawk, death, and drugs. "I mean— so, so manly hands. Like I just want to look at him grabbing things or picking stuff up with those long fingers—"
Moon giggled, bringing a hand to her lips. "That does sound like a crush to me."
"No. I just have a sick hand fetish, that's all," Sky sighed. "I'm really not interested in Cody Bishop."
"Just his hands," laughed Sam.
"Like I said - really nice hands."
"Personally I don't see what all the fuss is about," Yasmine rolled her eyes, looking bored. "He's not even that good-looking, and he's short."
"Height isn't everything," said Sam, and Sky glanced at her with a small smile, remembering that Sam had in fact dated Robby who was kinda short too.
"See? Hear the voice of reason," She spoke. "Besides, everyone is taller than I am. I'm a fricking hobbit."
"Hm," Yasmine scoffed. "I guess I just like my men tall."
"Well aren't you lucky that Demetri is pretty tall, then?" Sky laughed. "You can wear all the heels you want and he'll still have to bend down to kiss you."
Yasmine didn't reply, just rolled her large, baby blue eyes - but the small blush on her cheeks didn't go unnoticed by her friends. It also brought a genuine smile to Sky's lips - the possibility that Demetri could actually get the love of his life, was one of the rare things that made Sky happy at the moment. Demetri deserved love, he deserved all the good things in the world - and so did Yasmine, actually - Yasmine who had turned out to be a lot more likable than Sky had originally thought.
Besides - Sky desperately needed to see a love story that didn't include lies, death wishes, drugs, or hearts that were ripped out of people's chests.
She needed Yas and Demetri to finally get together, and live happily ever after. Her own chances for love like that might have been destroyed, but a part of her still wanted to believe that it could exist, that it could happen to her friends, that there was still beauty and magic in the world, even if not for her, never for her.
Yasmine was starting to lay out the pieces of her costume on the bed, checking she had everything she needed. She had arranged her blond locks in luscious curls that fell to her shoulders, framing her flawless face like a golden halo. Her makeup was immaculate, dark green eyeshadow, long, black lashes, her lips painted with a deep shade of red that drew attention to her gorgeous lips. She looked incredible—
And with the costume - well, Sky was sure Demetri would fall on Yas' feet to worship the ground she walked on, and the rest would be a fairytale.
Sky could already hear the wedding bells in her ears, and that silly thought brought a smile to her lips.
"Well, what are we waiting for?" She asked and sat up, flashing a smile to her friends. "Let's get changed. We have a party to catch."
Soooo how is that party going to go?
Aren't you just dying to find out what costumes the girls are wearing?