"Oh, my God!" Gasped Sam, her eyes widening. "I'm so Sorry—!"
In a heartbeat the girls had stumbled back into the hallway, slamming the door behind them, leaving Sky and Cody in the dark room.
"Shit—" Cody muttered, but Sky couldn't even answer. She had never been this embarrassed in her life! Her heart was racing in her chest, as the mortifying thought of the girls - or someone else - entering the room a couple of minutes earlier, hit her full force.
"Sky, are you okay?" Moon's worried voice came through the door.
"I'm fine—" Sky replied, taking a shaky breath as she started buttoning up her shirt. "Just give me a sec."
"Sorry—" Cody spoke silently. "I should have found a room with a lock in the door, but I… I wasn't thinking."
"It's okay. Don't worry about it."
Sky accepted her panties that Cody had picked up from the floor, and stepped in them. Cody pulled on his shirt and his leather jacket, buckled his belt, and just like that, back was the Cowboy, now only missing his stetson, which was probably still in the kitchen. Even if the costume was simple, he looked different now than just moments before. The softness, the vulnerability Sky had thought she'd seen in his features when they'd had sex, was now gone, as if he was wearing a mask.
"Sky, is everything okay? Do you need help?" Sam's voice cut her thoughts, and Sky glanced at the closed door.
"Fine, just getting dressed." Sky called back. "I'll be there in a minute."
Cody glanced at the door too, a frown falling on his face. "They're worried about you."
"Yeah, they tend to do that," Sky muttered, but didn't explain. Cody didn't need to know that the girls were only worried about her, because she was a fucking nutjob who had tried to kill herself last summer. The less Cody knew about her, the better. In silence, Sky finished getting dressed, smoothed her skirt, and fixed her over-knee socks. Her Ravenclaw tie was still undone, but that would have to wait until she was somewhere with a mirror, or maybe Moon could fix it for her.
Cody was already by the door, waiting for her, his long, slender fingers resting on the doorknob. His face was serious, full of sharp angles and smooth planes, and he was beautiful, so beautiful that Sky wanted nothing but to stay in this room and just worship those gorgeous features. They had agreed to leave together, but now—
Sky didn't know where they stood. Their secret moment was over, the heat was leaving her system and she knew that when they stepped out of that door, this dream would cease to exist, there waited the reality, harsh, cruel, painful, the real world she wanted nothing to do with.
"I still wanna go with you," she said before she had time to regret it. "If… If that's what you want?"
A quick smile touched Cody's lips, his eyes, and that sight made something flutter in Sky's chest.
"I want that too," he said and reached a hand to pull Sky close. His lips still tasted like blood and sex, but the kiss was short, it was soft, it was gentle. His hands lingered on her waist for a heartbeat more, before he let go and said: "But your friends are worried about you. Why don't you go and have a chat with them, get a glass of water, grab something to eat? And if you still want to go to my place after that, come find me."
Sky let out a sigh. She hoped she could just escape this room through the window with Cody, and teleport to his place for more sex, but—
He has a point. I need to tell them where I'm going - otherwise, they'll freak out and call my dad.
"Fine, I'll talk to them," she agreed, and then - as she suddenly remembered: "But hey, wait - what did you want to tell me? Before?"
The line of Cody's jaw turned hard, he cast his eyes down and opened the door. The bright light of the hallway entered the room illuminating his sharp features.
"Nothing important. It can wait." he said and stepped into the hallway, without looking at Sky again.
Sky followed, fidgeting her Ravenclaw tie in her fingers.
Moon and Sam were leaning on the wall next to the door in their Hogwarts costumes and as Cody walked past them to the bathroom, their eyes followed him. Sam looked like she would start throwing punches, but the look on Moon's sweet face was only slightly confused.
"Are you alright?" Moon asked, turning her attention back to Sky. "Did he… did he hurt you?"
"No. What? No!" Sky blushed. "No, it wasn't like that. I wanted it."
"But why? You said you didn't like him like that—"
Sky pushed past the girls, walking towards the staircase. The music was still loud downstairs, and she followed it, the beat carrying her feet forward even if her legs were still a bit shaky with the combination of sex, drugs, and alcohol.
"We heard what happened," Sam said, catching up with her. "With Maya. And then the fight."
Of course, they had heard. The mention of Maya's name felt like a dagger in Sky's heart, the blissful peace she had felt in Cody's arms was beginning to fracture, she felt the cracks in her chest, aching, bleeding, letting in all the pain.
She didn't reply, just made her way down the stairs, through the crowd of dancing and laughing kids in the living room all the way to the kitchen, and the girls followed her. Someone had cleaned up the floor, there was no blood or broken glass on the tiles anymore, the punch bowl was refilled with blood-red liquid and dry ice, the smoke oozed from it onto the table and billowed on the floor. The music was loud, louder than before, the beat of Poker Face made Sky's head ache like someone was hitting it with a hammer.
Cody's cowboy hat lay on the table next to the beers.
Sky hoped she wasn't here, she hoped she was somewhere else, someone else, she hoped she was in a bed with Cody, getting her brains banged out of her skull so that she couldn't think, so that she couldn't feel, so that she couldn't even remember her name anymore.
She took a can of beer from the ice cooler, opened it, and drank. The girls didn't. Fucking awesome. Again she was the crazy drunk, the slut with mascara and dried tears on her cheeks, the nutjob with a wrongly buttoned shirt and a broken heart, whereas Sam and Moon were still pretty and smart and cute and all the things she wasn't.
Why they even wanted to be her friends, was beyond her.
That thought tasted bitter, and Sky took another gulp of the beer to wash it down. The reality was really hitting her in the face, with full force. She wished she had her pills, she could really use another one—
"You've seen my robe?" she asked. "I can't remember where I left it."
"I think I saw it in the living room," said Moon, and her voice was kind, her eyes soft as she took Sky's free hand. "Come on, Let's fix your makeup and your costume, okay?"
They found the robe in the living room. Sky brushed it on, slipped a hand in the pocket to make sure the small coin purse she used for her pills was still there, felt the almost sickening wave of relief when it was. She kept her hand in her pocket, holding her treasure hidden and safe as they went out through the backdoor and left the blaring music and the shouting crowd behind. The fresh air felt heavenly on Sky's burning face, the night was cold and dark and soon they'd be shivering in their tiny outfits, but Sky didn't care. From her bag, Moon found a rose-scented wet wipes and cleaned the mascara from Sky's cheeks, helped fix her tie and her buttons.
"You want to talk about what happened?" Moon asked when she had finished cleaning Sky up and leaned on the wall next to her, wrapping her Hufflepuff robe tighter around her body.
Sky shrugged, and sipped on her beer. "I had sex with Cody. What's the big deal?"
Sam and Moon exchanged a glance that made Sky a bit annoyed. She took another gulp of her beer, hoping she'd opted for something stronger. She was nowhere near drunk enough to be having this conversation.
"Well, after what Hawk did—" Sam started, but Sky stopped her mid-sentence.
"I don't wanna talk about Hawk," she snapped. "This so isn't about him."
"Okay—" said Moon. "We're just trying to understand, that's all."
"What's all this anyway?" Sky asked, unable to hide the irritated note in her voice. "I don't see you being all judgemental about Yas, and who knows what she's been doing with Dem all night."
Sam frowned and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Well, we just saw them. They are in the study, holding hands and talking."
"Right. Of course, they are holding hands and talking," Sky muttered. Because that was what good girls did, girls who knew their worth. They didn't sleep with a guy on a first date or let some stranger fuck them at a random party. Sky knew that good girl act - Hell, she had tried it too when she'd started dating Hawk. They had been holding hands too, exchanging cute kisses and hugs, they had waited for months before finally doing it, and what good had come of that all?
Nothing.
In the end, Hawk had still treated her like the stupid slut she was.
Suddenly Sky missed Kat so that it took her breath away. Kat wouldn't have cared that she had fucked Cody. Kat would have laughed and asked if he'd been any good and they would have talked dirty things and gotten drunk together, and Sky would have known Kat loved her just like she was, that there was nothing she could do that would make Kat stop being her friend.
But Sam and Moon—
Well, Sky had thought that getting kicked down the stairs into a coma when she rushed to Sam's help at the school fight, would have made them accept her with all her flaws, but maybe not. Maybe no one wanted to be friends with a slut, even if that slut was ready to die defending you.
"Look, I know you mean well," Sky said looking at the beer in her hands. "But honestly, you guys have no idea what I need or what I'm going through—"
"You're right - we don't! Because you won't talk to us!" Sam replied, clearly annoyed now. "Instead, you're getting drunk and making stupid decisions—"
"Stupid decisions? Oh, so now my sex life is a stupid decision? Would it be better if I lied and said I'm in love with Cody? Then it would be okay to sleep with him?"
"I don't want you to lie!" Sam almost yelled. "I want you to talk to me! I want my friend back! You're acting all weird lately and I have no idea what's going on or how to be there for you, and I am trying to be your friend but you are making it really hard!"
Sam's outburst left Sky shaken. With aching clarity, she knew what she needed to do. She could see that path clearly in front of her, but it felt impossible to take the first step. She knew that she needed to tell her friends everything. She needed to tell them how much she missed Kat, how much her death still hurt her. She needed to tell them that she still woke up in the middle of the night, screaming, with the paralyzing fear she was not in her bed, but instead on Matt's couch and he was taking advantage of her again. She needed to tell them that she still loved Hawk, that her heart was so broken that the pain was driving her mad, she needed to let them know that she was doing drugs, that the other night in her car on Cody's driveway she had wanted to kill herself, and the one thing that had stood between her and the dark river had been him.
But the words wouldn't come, they were a shapeless, cold lump in her throat, and she wasn't drunk enough, she wasn't high enough, she could not have this conversation and drag her friends down into the disgusting filth her life had become.
"I'm sorry," she said, her eyes tearing up. "I'm sorry. I— I can't."
"Sky, come on—" Sam said, pleading. "Just talk to us."
"I don't want to talk," Sky replied, her voice breaking. "It's Halloween! Am I not allowed to have some fun?"
"It's okay, hon. We don't have to talk," Moon said with a kind, soft tone - always the peacemaker. "Let's just find Yas and go to my place, watch a scary movie and make some piña coladas like we talked."
"You guys go, it's fine. I don't wanna ruin your fun."
With that Sky turned on her heels and left, rushing back into the party. She tossed away the now empty can of beer, her hand was gripping the small coin purse in her pocket as if it was a lifeline. The music and the air that smelled like sweat, weed, and alcohol hit her in the face, making her nauseous. And there, on the other side of the room, was Cody. He had found his hat again, it was tipped on the back of his head and he was leaning on the wall, talking with some dude Sky didn't know, selling him something by the looks of it, because he received money from the boy and stuffed the bills into the pocket of his leather jacket.
It was as if Cody sensed she had stepped into the room. He turned to look, and their eyes met, his lips parted and he smiled, the wide grin illuminating his beautiful face, and Sky's heart was beating in her chest, louder than the music, drowning the voices of her friends, the voice of reason, drowning this stupid reality and all her flaws and mistakes.
Tonight she could be anybody.
Without looking back, she walked to Cody and took his hand.
"Take me out of here," she whispered, leaning closer to his ear - and he did as he was told.