This chapter contains some very detailed and disturbing violence. Be warned.

Cody Bishop was anything but a quitter.

From the moment of his birth, he had had to fight for everything. A miracle, they had called it, the fact that he had even survived the first night of his life. But Cody knew better. It hadn't been a miracle, it had been no Heavenly grace, no fate. It was the fact that he was a fighter. He had simply refused to give up, and that's how it had been ever since.

So was one broken heart gonna bring him down?

Hell, no.

He wasn't going to give up, not this easily, no matter how much he was hurting.

Hearing Sky's words - I love you too, Eli - had caused more pain than anything in a very long time, and for the first time in years, Cody had cried. But those midnight hours when he had silently shed his tears, lying alone on the living room couch, had done nothing to kill the love in his heart, to kill the hope that maybe—

Maybe she doesn't love me yet. But that doesn't mean she'll never love me. I'm not going to just give up.

He was in the boys' bathroom, and while washing his hands, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. He had chosen the same burgundy hoodie he had worn that day when he had taken Sky to have milkshakes because he had a hunch she liked how he looked wearing it. And it was important to look good, because today, he was going to ask her out.

Just as friends, sure. She was still in love with someone else. But he could still take her to the movies, right? Or maybe a visit to the bookstore—

And then, maybe, she would kiss him again. Because even if she wasn't in love with him, she sure seemed to be in love with his body, with his lips, and for now, that was okay too. Cody would take any small thing she was willing to give him, anything that would help to satisfy this hunger inside of him, this yearning for love that occupied his every thought.

He had seen her in the cafeteria at lunch, and by God, the sight of her had knocked the air out of his lungs. The tiny pink skirt, the cropped white hoodie, the way her hair fell to her shoulders, and how she ran her fingers through it when she laughed—

The sound of her laughter had made him weak in the knees. He still felt dizzy, just remembering it made him short of breath.

He'd had no idea that falling in love with someone would feel like this. That it would be this all-consuming, like a fire inside of his soul. He hadn't known it would really feel like in the books and the movies, like someone had put a spell on him, like the very world around him had changed so that not even the molecules of the air were the same they had been before.

He even welcomed the excruciating pain this love caused, because it proved he did have a heart, that he could fall in love, that there was something good and beautiful inside of him after all, and not only darkness.

The bathroom door opened, startling him back into the moment. For how long had he been staring into the mirror, thinking about Sky? He let out a strained laugh, was just about to turn and leave when he recognized the people who had entered.

Slowly he turned around and straightened his back.

There was Hawk - his face still bruised after their fight, the cuts on his neck were still covered under band-aids - and he had murder in his eyes. He walked in, followed by his gang, four other guys of whom Cody only recognized one - Kyler Park.

Cody let out a slow, deep, exhausted breath and ran his fingers through his hair.

Not again.

He was so fucking tired of fighting, of violence, of hate. He wanted none of it, and yet, it always found him, it always made him do things he didn't want to do.

"Look, man—" he said, keeping his voice even. "I don't want any trouble with you. We had our fight, let's just leave it at that, okay?"

"That fight is over when I say it's over," the other boy groaned - and then they were on him, fast and brutal, without a warning.

Cody fought like the devil.

His kicks and punches were swift and sharp, he felt how they met soft skin, hard muscle, and bone, he gave everything he had and more, but there were five of them and only one of him and even if he was good, he wasn't that good.

It took all five of them to bring him down, but when they finally had him on the floor, Cody's fists were covered in blood too. Hawk stood over him, wiping blood off his lips, staring down at him with burning eyes, pressing a foot on his windpipe as the rest of the guys held him down.

He was choking, he could barely draw in a breath.

"Asshole—" he managed to groan.

"What did you say?" Hawk snarled, easing the pressure on Cody's throat so that he could speak.

"You knew you couldn't take me alone—" his voice broke, he had to clear his throat. "—so you brought your gang."

"Shut your mouth—"

"You're a coward!"

The words tasted like blood. He had a cut on his lip - again - and he had a bad feeling this fight was far from over. True enough - Hawk's only reply to his comment was a fierce kick on his side, and Cody couldn't help a groan of pain.

He felt hands going through his pockets, and he did everything he could to free himself, squirming and writhing, his back arching off the floor, but in vain. It was Kyler, who found the small pouches of weed and pills in the pocket of his jeans, and some other guy took his butterfly knife.

"Man, sweet!" Kyler laughed and stuffed the drugs into his pocket. "I'm keeping this stuff!"

"Give it back— That's mine—!" Cody groaned, again trying to break free, but couldn't. He was still being held on the floor, and Hawk, who was now crouching next to him, punched him in the face with force, cutting his sentence in half.

"You fucking piece of shit—" Hawk growled, hitting Cody again, smashing his head against the floor tiles, making his ears ring. "I should kill you for what you've done."

Cody could barely speak through the pain, his head was spinning.

"For what—?" He managed, blood spilling to his chin. "For Sky? Cause— Let's not— pretend—" he had to stop to draw in a raspy breath, to spit out some more blood. "—that this— is about— anything else—"

"Don't you say her name, you asshole! You don't deserve her—!" Hawk hit him again, rage twisting his features, and after that—

The hits and punches just kept coming. They were all on him now, some of them kicking, some punching, so hard and fast he couldn't make out the individual impacts, it was an ongoing storm of violence, of burning, tearing pain. He tried to crawl away, but could only roll onto his side, and then they were kicking his back and his stomach too, and he tried to cover himself by hugging his knees, but someone kicked him in the face and his head fell back, the world was spinning, everything was red, and—

He hadn't been this helpless since—

He hadn't been this scared since—

Since—

And he lost his grip on reality. He was five years old again, and it was happening all over again, and just like that time, there was nothing he could do to stop it, there was no one coming to his help, and he was going to die.

Cody is only five years old, but he already knows how much this is gonna hurt. It always starts the same, with Auntie Carol thinking he's done something wrong, even when he hasn't. And it always ends the same too, with JD's fists. He knows this, but it doesn't make it any easier.

His nose is already bleeding from the punches, he is hurting all over. On the floor, he sees stains of his blood and some of his dark hair that Auntie Carol ripped off when dragging him across the room, but it is about to get worse, so much worse, and his stomach is a cold stone of fear as he turns his eyes from the floor to JD—

Auntie Carol is thin and has dark hair and hazel eyes just like Cody, but JD isn't family, Cody knows it, he's just Carol's boyfriend and he looks nothing like they do. He is twice the size of Carol and he has a lot of tattoos and no hair, and he never smiles.

Cody still remembers the times when Auntie Carol used to smile. It was before JD and the pills and the bottles. She used to read books to Cody, but not anymore. Now she's just tired and sad all the time, and angry - mostly at Cody. They don't even own any books anymore. Cody doesn't know what happened to them, but he misses them, especially the one with the very hungry caterpillar.

He thinks about it a lot, because he is hungry often too, and he could also eat his way through apples, pears, plums, oranges, strawberries, chocolate cakes—

JD picks up the baseball bat, and Cody forgets all about the very hungry caterpillar. This is going to hurt so much, he knows it and he's scared, and even before the first hit, he wets himself. He can't help it. It's not the first time they beat him, no, not the first time, and it's not the first time he's so scared that this happens, but every time it makes Auntie Carol so, so mad. You little shit! she screams, noticing the wetness on his pants, and slaps Cody across his face, once, twice, grabs his hair to keep him in place as she hits him again. You disgusting little shit! Why would you do that? Why do I have to clean up your mess? What did I do to deserve you?

She throws him onto the floor, but he stands up, sobbing. He doesn't say a thing, even his tears are silent now as he wipes them and the blood on his dirty sleeve. He knows nothing he says now will change this. When Auntie Carol gets like this, when she's in one of her moods, she won't stop. The pee on Cody's pants is still warm, but he knows it's soon gonna be cold, and he's gonna have to go to bed with these cold, wet pants because Auntie Carol won't let him change. He's so sorry that he wet himself, these pants, his favorite ones. They have pictures of happy hippos and giraffes and he loves them. Watching those smiling animals makes him feel like he's in a Zoo. He's never been to a Zoo, of course, but he knows they exist, he's seen a Zoo on TV.

And then JD swings the baseball bat, and it hits him in his gut and the pain is worse than anything before. Cody falls back onto the floor, tasting tears and blood, and he is whimpering, sobbing, and pleading now even if it never helps, it never makes this stop. Please JD I didn't take it I didn't take it please JD I promise—

Hit him, shut him up, screams Auntie Carol, beat up that little shit! It's his fault my sister is dead, his fault, I can't stand his stupid face! And JD does what Auntie Carol tells him to do. He swings the bat again, and again and he is on the floor, and it hurts so much that he can't do anything but lie there, hugging his knees as the baseball bat hits his legs, his shoulders, his arms, and he thinks this time I die, this time I die, and it doesn't really scare him, but it makes him sad because he never got to go to the Zoo, he never got to see the real hippos or giraffes or lions. But it's okay too, because if JD kills him, then he doesn't have to be here anymore, he doesn't have to live with him and Auntie Carol anymore, and maybe he's gonna become an angel, and then maybe he's gonna see his Mom—

Cody came to, when someone lifted his head up, holding his hair, and started dragging him through the bathroom floor.

Not Auntie Carol, or JD this time, no, it was Hawk and he was going to kill Cody—

He started fighting and kicking again, screaming, spitting blood, but his sneakered feet were slipping on the bloody floor, and then other hands appeared on his arms, on his legs and he was lifted into the air.

"No—!" He groaned, his voice breaking. "No—!"

"If you ever go near Sky again, I'll fucking kill you—" Hawk spoke, his grip on Cody's hair so tight it felt like his scalp would be torn off. "You won't talk to her! You won't touch her! You won't sell her any more drugs!"

They dragged him into one of the bathroom stalls, and even through the pain and the blood and the shame, Cody realized what was coming, and it gave him the last spurt of energy, making him writhe and curse in their grip.

He was five years old again. He was going to die, he was going to die, he was going to die—

"You hear me?" Hawk groaned. "I'll fucking kill you."

"Dude is bleeding all over the place—" laughed someone, maybe Kyler, Cody wasn't sure. "Let's clean him up."

The toilet seat was right in front of him. Cody fought and he kicked like the devil, but it was no use. It was middle school all over again, but only worse. Hawk pushed Cody's head into the toilet seat, and the smell made his stomach turn. They were laughing as he gagged and cried, and then they flushed the toilet, the water poured over his head, soaking his hair and his face, flooding his eyes, his ears, his mouth.

Only then did they let go of him. Someone slammed the lid of the toilet seat on his head and laughed, and that laughter was exactly like JD's, and Cody wasn't here anymore, no, he was five years old again.

The pain and the smell of the toilet that was all over him made him vomit. The bile burnt his throat as he emptied his stomach, half in the toilet, half on the floor, and all over himself, but he didn't even notice the mess he made. His head was spinning as he grabbed the seat with both hands, the darkness crept toward the center.

When he collapsed on the floor in the pool of blood and puke, he knew that auntie Carol had been right, that JD had been right, that all the bullies had been right, that his foster parents had been right, and now, in the end, Hawk was right too.

What was the point of even fighting?

He was a little shit, he was not worthy of love.

And he was going to die.

Is he truly going to die?

And what will Sky think when she finds out?

I'm breaking my own heart writing this stuff, I swear, I need healthier hobbies. :C