Hawk couldn't deny it - he had fun in the zoo with Cassie.
In fact, it was the most fun he'd had in ages. They started out pretty official, searching for perfect locations to shoot their video for the biology class - but as hours passed they ended up just wandering around the zoo, looking at the animals, eating ice cream, drinking soda, talking, laughing and simply having fun, so that before they realized it was the closing time and they still hadn't even started the school work. Neither of them cared - it just gave them a perfect opportunity to go back a couple of days later. That time they made sure that they finished filming, but between all the school work and wondering how it would feel to kiss Cassie, Hawk still hadn't gotten anywhere with his plan to steal a cobra and gift it to Sensei Kreese.
Planning was more difficult than he had thought. When he was with Cassie, it was hard to focus on anything else.
Cassie was fun, she was sassy and she was hot. But maybe the best thing about her was the fact that she was a new student at West Valley High, so she knew nothing about the things he had done. She had heard rumors of the carate brawl, of course, but that was pretty much it, and rumors weren't the same thing as knowing, as seeing. When Cassie looked at him, there was no judgment in her eyes, no fear. To her, it didn't matter that he was in Cobra Kai - Hell, to her Cobra Kai was just another karate dojo, and nothing more.
He loved it. He fucking loved the lightness in his chest, the feeling that with her, he could be anybody. That he didn't have to be just the sum of his guilt and his rage and his mistakes.
After they had finished editing the video one evening in his room, he kissed her.
She laughed, but after a heartbeat or so, kissed him back. And in no time, they were making out on his bed, him on top of her, his eager hands feeling the curves of her slender form. Her body was gorgeous - with that hourglass shape and perky boobs that drew Hawk fucking nuts. It was almost like making out with Sky–
Except that it wasn't her.
It never would be. And it was fucking killing him, that he was still thinking about her, that he was thinking about her at a moment like this, when there was a hot chick on his bed, sighing his name as his lips followed the line of her jaw, and his hands slid under her T-shirt, feeling the hot, soft, girly skin of her belly.
He tried his best to stop thinking about Sky, as he pushed up the hem of Cassie's T-shirt and his palm shimmied over her ribcage, the smoothness of her skin. Her body turned weak under his touch. She was squirming on the bed, her hands roamed up and down his forearms, his biceps, feeling the hard muscle, the smooth skin. He was already hard in his pants, his breathing came in fast, strangled exhales that fell on Cassie's neck that was wet with his saliva, and Fucking Hell, he was close to bursting. He hadn't had sex with anyone since Halloween, his unfortunate encounter with Maya - not unfortunate because they'd had sex (it had been great) but because of what had happened with Sky—
Fucking Hell, I have to stop thinking about her!
He pushed the image of her green eyes, her flaming hair, out of his mind the best he could and breathed in Cassie's scent - some exotic spices, cinnamon maybe? - as he slid his hand up, until he reached her breast under her shirt. She had amazing boobs. Her body reminded him of Sky - she was petite in the same way, her waist was narrow and her hips had cute, feminine roundness - but her boobs were bigger. Hawk didn't complain. He had no preferences in this matter: big, small, fake, natural, whatever - boobs were boobs, they always made him happy, and Cassie had a great pair of them. His fingers gripped that soft bra-covered roundness, and a wave of need crushed the air off his lungs as his erection throbbed painfully in the agony of his pants. He tried to remember if he had condoms in the drawer of his nightstand. He was pretty sure he did, at least he fucking hoped so—
Still kissing her jawline, he moved his hand down, to the waistband of her jeans, but as he tried to start opening the buttons, Cassie brought a hand to grip his wrist and giggling, drew his hand away.
He groaned against her neck. "Come on, why not?"
Laughing, she pushed him off her, and sat up, straightening her T-shirt and brushing a hand through her short, messy hair.
"Because I'm not that kind of a girl."
Hawk rolled to his back and took a look at Cassie who sat there next to him on the bed, a smile on her lips that were swollen from the kisses. There was a blush on her cheeks, it crept down her neck to her bosom, and Hawk loved that sight - the proof that she'd enjoyed their little make-out session too, even if she didn't want to continue it.
"Then what kind of a girl are you?"
"That's for you to find out, Moskowitz." Cassie stood up and gathered her things, her laptop, and her books, and stuffed them into her backpack, a smirk playing on her lips.
With that, she left, but after she was gone, Hawk shoved down his sweats, grabbed his still-hard dick, and jerked off to her image. It was the first time in ages he did that thinking about some real girl who wasn't Sky, and in his imagination he fucked Cassie on this bed, and came sucking her gorgeous tits covering her sweet, soft belly with his cum.
That's for you to find out, Moskowitz, she had said - and Hawk had a pretty good idea what that meant.
She was waiting for him to ask her out.
And it wasn't that he didn't want to do that. He did. He liked her, she was smart and funny and hot. He wanted to continue what they had started, he wanted to peel off her T-shirt and explore her tits with his tongue, he wanted to lay her down on his bed and hear the sounds she would make when he fucked her.
But there were things holding him back.
Like the way the Cobras made fun of him every time they saw him talking with Cassie in the school. Kyler with his stupid, rude gestures and the guys laughing, making disgusting jokes asking if he was already fucking her in the janitor's closet too.
Hawk didn't want Cassie to hear any of that. Hell, he had already ruined the reputation of two girls - Sky and Maya - and he wasn't going to do that to Cassie too. She was a nice girl, she didn't deserve to be called a slut or a whore, because she happened to like him.
The other thing holding Hawk back was Sky.
If she had stayed in the rehab, if she had moved away, if he had never seen her again - then maybe one day Hawk could have gotten over her, he could have moved on and asked Cassie out. But one afternoon, a couple of days before the holidays, Sky was suddenly back in school and with the sight of her, everything came back and hit Hawk in the face with the force of a trainwreck.
He froze on his feet as he saw her, and the whole school around him, including Cassie with whom he had been talking, disappeared as the memories coursed through him like a raging river.
The first time he ever sees Sky. He is still Eli, and to him, Sky looks like a goddess as she walks into the cafeteria, her hair flowing around her face in perfect curls, her high heels clicking to the tiled floor making everyone's eyes turn to her swinging hips.
Their first real kiss on his bed. She climbs to sit on his lap, sliding her fingers through his hair, kissing him desperately, her tongue deep in his mouth tastes like tequila.
And there she was now, just looking at him, her eyes bright with tears. He hadn't known she was back, no one had told him, because fucking Hell, he had burnt all the bridges to anyone who could have told him anything about her— But she was here, she was beautiful in her short skirt and her loose hoodie, and Hawk wanted her back, he wanted her back more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.
He couldn't stop the memories that just kept coming back, the memories he had in vain tried to smother.
Sky dancing with Moon at the Canyon party, her arms thrown up in the air as if she is trying to reach the stars. Her laughter after she wins the All Valley. Tasting Nutella and tears on her tongue when he kisses her by Fontana di Trevi. And then—
Finding her on the bed in a pool of vomit after she has tried to kill herself. Her black clothes and dark eyeliner at Moon's party. Kissing her against the wall, desperately. The school fight, Sky lying on the floor motionless, bleeding, dying.
He swallowed hard, he wanted to reach out to Sky, to push through the crowd of kids on this hallway and pull her into his arms, to kiss her cheeks, her brow, her eyes, to tell her that he was sorry, that he would do anything, anything at all if she just gave him one more chance—
But Sky tore her eyes off him, gripped the straps of her backpack so hard that her knuckles went white and almost ran off, ripping Hawk's heart out of his chest. She walked away from him, but the stream of memories kept Hawk in its grip, taking his breath away with every painful image that flashed through his mind.
Getting back together with Sky, when she is still in the hospital. Making love to her in her bed. The phoenix pendant. The stolen moment in the janitor's closet, the smile she flashes to him before walking out of there. And then, losing her, losing her again and again and again. The way Sky cries when she stands in the middle of the scattered Legos in the cafeteria. The nasty rumors the guys start to spread about her, the ones Hawk does nothing to stop. Her disappointment when he breaks Demetri's arm, the tears in her eyes when he yells horrible things to her on his front steps that night.
Sky in Cody's arms at the Halloween party.
That memory hurt the most, but it was also the one that suddenly made him see the situation crystal clear.
He couldn't ask Cassie out.
Maybe he could have fooled around with her, fucked her a couple of times, had some fun, but—
She was waiting for him to ask her out. She wanted him to be her boyfriend. And there was no way on Earth he could do that.
There was only one girl he wanted to date, only one girl he wanted to call his girlfriend. Only one girl he could see a future with - and if that never happened, then so be it, he would rather be alone than date Cassie and use her just to fill this void in his chest.
After that, he distanced himself from Cassie. If she was disappointed, she didn't show it. They were still lab partners in biology, and they still talked - he just stopped flirting with her, and she seemed to accept it without any unnecessary drama or questions.
It was a relief. It also freed Hawk's mind to finish his plan.
He set up a date for the stealing of the Cobra - December 19th. He visited the zoo once more - this time without Cassie - and as she wasn't there to distract him, he manage to make all the necessary preparations. He found the place where the fence was damaged and they could easily sneak in. He observed the staff until he knew their schedules and their breaks. He spotted the security cameras and planned a route where their faces wouldn't be caught on film. He left only one thing to the others - getting the supplies, such as beer and the snake pole, which Kyler had promised to bring. It was fine by Hawk. Let that asshole do that tiny part and make him feel like he was useful. It was Hawk who had orchestrated this whole fucking plan, and he was the one who would get all the credit for it, not Kyler.
That plan went straight to Hell.
They got the snake, but no thanks to Kyler. And they gave the snake to Sensei Kreese - but Hawk wasn't the one who got the praise. It was Robby Keene.
At that moment, something broke in Hawk's chest.
As he was standing there next to his teammates, listening to how Sensei Kreese talked to Robby the same way he had once talked to Hawk, came a sudden, suffocating realization that he wasn't the number one anymore. But neither was Kyler. Instead, there was a new guy who was taking that number one spot, a new guy who would be the next champion—
Robby Keene. The same asshole who had kicked Miguel over the railing almost killing him. And now he was Kreese's new champion as if it didn't matter how much Hawk had given for this team, how much he had suffered.
He had given everything. And Kreese treated it as if it was nothing.
He almost walked out of the dojo right then and there, but where would he go? This was the only home he had, these were the only friends he had. It was as if his body was working on autopilot, and he ended up following Tory when she walked out of the dojo. Tory, who was full of wrath and rage, who was heading to Sam LaRusso's home with only one aim in her mind.
Hawk clenched his fists and followed her lead, the ache for mindless violence growing in his belly and roaring in his ears. Maybe a fight would set his mind right after this fucking disaster of a day - maybe drawing some Miyagi-Do blood together with the other Cobras would remind him of his loyalties, would remind them that he was still a badass, that he was still someone they needed.
It was easy to throw Bert through the window, kick in the door, and rush into the LaRusso house. Hawk was laughing when he walked into their kitchen and glanced at those pathetic Miyagi-Do pussies—
That laughter died on his lips when he saw Sky.