Sky stood at Cody's front door, holding a birthday present in her hands. For a short moment she hesitated before pressing the doorbell - Maybe I shouldn't have come? This was a stupid idea—
But she was here already, the gift was beautifully wrapped and the only thing that was more stupid than showing up at a birthday party uninvited, was surely running away without even giving the gift, right?
The door opened almost as soon as she had rang the doorbell, and Leigh appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a gorgeous, fluffy, dark blue dress with Ravenclaw embroideries - clearly custom-made for her - with a robe and a Wizard hat. Her blond hair which was usually on thick braids, was now arranged in flawless curls around her round face. She looked absolutely beautiful.
"Sky!" She exclaimed, delighted. "I didn't know you were coming to my party! Or are you here to see Cody?"
Sky answered her smile. "I'm here to see you, birthday girl. I heard it's your special day, and I wanted to bring you a small gift."
"Thank you!" Leigh took the gift Sky offered to her and started unwrapping it excitedly, ripping through the pink, glitter paper. Sky took this small moment to glance over her shoulder - there was a party going on in the house. She heard music, loud chattering, and children's laughter. Several kids wearing Hogwarts uniforms were running around the hall, but Sky couldn't see Cody or his parents. Nervously she bit her lip, wondering what they would think about her being here. Sky might have won Leigh over, but Cody's parents were like living ice sculptures - Sky had never met such cold and heartless people in her life.
But it was too late to have second thoughts now - Leigh had finished unwrapping the gift, and was now examining the small Ravenclaw notebook and a pen that looked like a golden quill.
"I love it! Thank you!" The girl smiled widely. If she thought the gift was cheap and unimpressive, at least she didn't say it. "Do you like Harry Potter too?"
Sky answered her smile. "Of course I do. And I would've been Ravenclaw too. We'd been in the same house."
"Like all the smart ones," Leigh giggled and then took Sky's hand as if it was the most natural thing to do. "Come in, you have to see the owls! They are real, Mom says we'll be able to fly them later. And, we have cake! And chocolate frogs!"
"No, I shouldn't—" Sky started to protest, but Leigh was already pulling her through the doorway into the party and all Sky could do was follow.
"Let's find Cody!" Leigh said, holding the Notebook against her chest. "He's probably in the kitchen— hey, did you know it's his birthday next week? Our birthdays are only a week apart. He's seven years older than me. He'll be 18. Did you know he's going to be eighteen? How old are you?"
Getting to know her, Sky had found out that Leigh was a very talkative little girl. Questions and comments were dropping off her lips in a fast, undisturbed stream as she pushed their way through the crowd, holding Sky's hand.
The house was full - there were dozens of kids in Harry Potter costumes, running around screaming and laughing and when Sky glanced to the living room, she saw a magician dressed as a wizard entertaining a group of smaller kids, and rich-looking adults in designer clothes holding glasses of Champagne or other drinks. Every room seemed to be decorated in Hogwarts style - there were paintings of wizards on the walls, piles of old magic books, and potion bottles on every surface, not to mention candles that were hanging in mid-air in near-invisible strings.
"Wait, it's Cody's birthday next week?" Sky frowned, turning her attention back to the girl who was pulling her toward the kitchen.
"Yes! Didn't you know? Don't you have a gift for him? I already have a gift, even if he always says he doesn't want anything. But he's turning 18! He's going to be an adult now."
"I didn't know. He didn't tell me." That thought felt weird in her gut. Why hadn't he told her? And why hadn't she asked? What kind of a girlfriend doesn't know when her boyfriend's birthday is? "Wait, what day is that? Are you having a party for him?"
Leigh shook her head so that her blond curls danced around her shoulders, golden blond against the black of her Hogwarts robe. "It's next Friday. But Cody doesn't like parties."
Leigh was still holding Sky's hand as they reached the kitchen, which was as full of people as every other part of the house. But here, there weren't any guests - instead, there were waiters organizing snacks on plates, filling glasses, and cooks magicking up sandwiches and other delicious-looking things. Through the large windows, Sky could see that the buffet table and the bar were set out in the backyard, where more people had gathered to celebrate. There was also a Hogwarts-themed bouncy castle, and much more - like real owls and hawks in golden cages, and people dressed as the teachers of Hogwarts. Sky saw an enormous Hagrid surrounded by a group of thrilled kids and her jaw dropped. He looked just like in the movies, with his beard and his scruffy clothes and the pink umbrella and all! This party was fucking insane - when Sky had decided to pop by to give the present, she sure hadn't been expecting anything like this.
And then, she noticed Cody behind the counter, next to a couple of pretty waitress girls who were dressed as witches, with cute short skirts and huge Wizard hats on top of their brightly colored hair. He was talking with them, and they were laughing as he poured Champagne into tall, thin flutes that lay arranged on the counter. For a short moment Sky just looked at him - so beautiful in his Slytherin green - and her heart skipped some beats.
My boyfriend.
Those words still felt so weird, as if her heart didn't yet recognize the shape of them, even if they had been dating for a couple of weeks now. But there was no rush. One day those words would feel like home, as being with him already did. One day she would feel those words as they were meant to be felt, and she would love him the way he deserved to be loved, because what was there not to love?
He was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. He had taken her to amazing dates, to the bookstore, to have milkshakes, to the movies— he had even promised to go to Disneyland with her, and Sky couldn't wait for that to happen. She fricking loved Disneyland! But it didn't even matter where they were or what they did - Sky enjoyed spending time with Cody even when they weren't doing anything special, especially then. Sky knew she was lucky, she knew every girl in school envied her, she knew Cody was a miracle she didn't deserve.
"Cody!" Leigh called and Sky dropped back into the moment. "Look who's here!"
Hearing his name, Cody looked up, and when he noticed Sky, his eyes widened, those beautiful hazel eyes that had a hint of green that matched the color of his sweater. He spilled some champagne on the table, and the pretty waiter girl next to him laughed. She took the bottle from his fingers that had frozen in mid-air.
"Sky– What— what are you doing here?" Cody left the glasses, the Champagne, and the pretty girls and walked around the counter to meet them.
"She brought me a present! Look! It's so pretty, I love it!" Leigh beamed, showing Cody the notebook and the pen that now felt rather unimpressive to Sky, so cheap compared to everything at this party.
"That's… nice," Cody replied, but the look in his eyes was reserved, shadowed. "Leigh, why don't you go and find your friends? It's almost time for the owls. And after that, we'll cut the cake. Okay? I'm sure Mom and Dad are already waiting for you."
"Okay. But you have to come too! With Sky - I want her to see the birds too."
"I promise, " Cody's voice was soft, as always when he talked to Leigh. "We'll be there in a minute."
Leigh flashed them one more radiant smile and then ran out of the kitchen, her black and blue Ravenclaw robe flying around her slender flame like the wings of a crow. Cody pushed his hands into the pockets of his straight, fitted pants, as he watched her go, and Sky couldn't help but admire his looks. He had paired his black pants with expensive-looking shoes and a dark green Slytherin sweater over a collared shirt. His shiny, dark hair was combed back with a lot of hair gel, and it brought out the sharp, delicate bone structure of his face. His eyes were dark, his cheekbones looked like they were carved of marble and once again his beauty blinded her.
"Wow," Sky said, glancing at him from head to toe. "You were right, you do look stunning in green."
Cody turned his eyes to Sky, but there was no smile in them. If something, he looked sad, embarrassed. His posture was tense and awkward as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants.
"Look - not that I'm not happy to see you, but—"
"But what?" Sky was confused. Cody let out a sigh and glanced around in the kitchen, towards the waitress girls and the Champagne glasses on the counter - and suddenly Sky realized what he meant. "Wait - your parents make you work here?"
"I don't mind," Cody spoke softly but his cheeks turned red. "I'm doing it for Leigh, not for them, but—"
"But you're busy," Sky finished his sentence, and he gave a sharp nod.
"Yeah. I need to go and help with the drinks. I'm sorry, I wish I didn't have to–"
"You know what—" said someone, and Sky turned to look at the pretty waitress who was walking past them with a tray full of Champagne glasses. She flashed them a grin and waved her shiny, pink hair over her shoulder. "It's okay, I've got it. Go and have some fun."
"You sure?" Cody asked, and his face softened.
"I'm sure. Just go on already."
Cody didn't need more reassurance. He snatched an opened bottle of Champagne and two glasses from the counter, then signaled Sky to follow and they left the kitchen heading for the stairs through the crowd.
Upstairs was more peaceful, even if you could still hear the Harry Potter music and the sounds of people, kids laughing and screaming in the bouncy castle in the backyard. Cody led the way to his room, glanced over his shoulder to make sure that no one saw them, and then closed the door after they had entered.
"Wow," Sky said as soon as they were alone. "I'm sorry your parents are assholes, but Damn this party is insane."
"Leigh loves it." Cody poured Champagne into the glasses and offered one to Sky. She took it and brought it to her lips, took a sip. The dry, bubbly taste immediately brought back the night of the Halloween party - their first kisses, the softness of Cody's bed, the scent of his sheets.
Her cheeks heated, as she glanced at his bed. They hadn't had sex since that time in rehab when Dad had walked into them, and suddenly Sky realized it was a long time ago. A month, to be exact. She had made Cody wait for a fricking month - and not once had he pressured her into anything, not once had he even hinted that he wanted more than the kisses they'd shared.
She knew he must want more, though, even if he didn't say so. Things had always been very sexual between them. It was part of the fact why Sky had started the whole 'friends with benefits' thing, and why she had agreed to date him. He was crazy good in bed, and she loved the way he made her come apart with his lips, his hands, his dick. But now—
Now things were different between them.
Sky swallowed and drew her eyes off the bed, turned to look at Cody again. He was leaning on the wall next to the door, sipping his Champagne and looking at Sky with shadowed eyes.
"So, a Harry Potter party?" she asked to get something else to think about.
"Leigh loves Harry Potter. The books, the movies, the whole thing," Cody replied. "I've read all the books to her, you know. Several times."
"You read to her?"
"I do," Cody admitted. "I know, I know it's lame, but—"
"That's not what I was thinking."
"No?" He raised the glass to his perfect lips and took a sip.
"No. I was thinking that you're the best big brother in the whole fucking world."
Cody's face lit up at her words. His smile was born quickly, but it also disappeared fast and got replaced by a sudden sadness.
"I don't know about that— But before I met you, David and Leigh were the only people I've ever truly loved." He looked down at his hands that were still holding the glass and took a shaky breath before continuing. "You know, when David was born - I was six - I wanted to hate him so much. God, it was awful. Just by being born, he took everything from me. But— but I couldn't hate him. I remember the day when they brought him home from the hospital and I was sulking in my room, but my parents forced me to come and meet him. And I just— I just melted. From the first moment, I loved him. How could I not? He was my baby brother. He was so tiny. Do you know how tiny newborns are? They are so fucking helpless! I knew I had to be there for him, to take care of him. And then, when Leigh was born a year later—" Cody laughed and shrugged. "It was the happiest day of my life. I guess being a big brother is the one thing I'm actually good at."
Sky emptied her glass and placed it on his desk next to Anna Karenina and the complete works of Shakespeare. Her chest felt heavy after his confession, like there wasn't enough air in this room.
"It's not the only thing you're good at. I think you're amazing."
He looked at her, and his throat bobbed. "You do?"
"You know I do, but maybe I need to say it more often," She walked closer to him, laid a hand on his arm, her fingers tracing down his bicep. "Besides, you're looking pretty damn hot in those clothes."
That made him laugh - which had been her intention - and he pulled her close, his hands finding her waist.
"You have a thing for Slytherin boys, then?"
"Just this one, my own Half-blood prince." She leaned against his lean chest and threw her arms around his neck. "But had I known you'd be in costume, I would have worn my Ravenclaw outfit too. If I remember correctly, you liked it."
"That's an understatement." He grinned, showing his sharp, white teeth. "You in that costume was the hottest thing I've ever seen."
"Pervert," Sky giggled, but the green in Cody's eyes turned a shade darker, his glance swept her lips. His breathing tasted like Champagne, just like that night, the night of the Halloween party when he had kissed her here, in his room under the pale moonlight, and she had been wearing that sexy-as-Hell Ravenclaw costume that he had peeled off of her body with trembling hands.
Sky brought her hands to his neck and pulled him into a kiss. Cody. My boyfriend. Her heart fluttered at that thought, at the way he moaned softly into her mouth as if he had been dying to kiss her all this time, as if this was almost too good, too perfect to be real. His grip on her waist turned harder.
Sky pushed her fingers into his hair and deepened the kiss, letting his tongue enter her mouth. And he kissed her with desperation, with hunger, holding her against his chest so that she felt the heavy beat of his heart through the muscle and the bone. His hands were running up and down her spine, burning into her skin through her T-shirt, and she couldn't help the way she melted against his chest, let in his scent, his warmth, his love.
Everything about him was good and perfect, the way he kissed her made her weak in the knees. He was burning for her too, his breathing turned fast, uneven, his hands were roaming over her curves, fingers brushing through her hair as if he couldn't get enough of her, never enough, and against her belly, Sky could feel him getting hard.
He let out a whine when Sky broke that kiss - a desperate, needy sound that told Sky just how much he wanted to continue, how much he wanted to take her into his bed, to undress her, to kiss every fucking part of her body, to make love to her—
Make love?
Those words took her breath away, and Sky had to free herself from Cody's arms.
It will never be just fucking anymore, will it? He's in love with me, and he wants more, he deserves more than I can give him.
"Hey, are you okay?" Cody asked sudden fear in his voice. "Did I— did I do something?"
Always so damn kind. Always, even when she deserved it the least.
"No, I'm— I'm fine. I'm sorry, it's just—" She looked down, her cheeks burning. "We can't do this. It's your sister's birthday party."
His chest was heaving, he let out a silent curse as he leaned his back against the wall and ran a hand through his hair.
"I know. I'm sorry—" he swallowed hard. "I didn't mean to—"
"Why didn't you tell me it's your birthday next week?" Sky interrupted him, desperate to change the subject, desperate to think about anything else than how much she wanted him, wanted him in that bed, on top of her, looking down at her with his lust-filled eyes, just like that night when they had first done it and everything had been simple between them. When it had been only about, drugs and sex—
Love. She didn't know how to do that thing. She fucked it up every time.
Cody looked down. His posture turned tense as he reached for the Champagne glass that was on the desk, and emptied it with one, long gulp.
"Because I didn't want you to know." A short silence. "Because— There's not much to celebrate, is there?"
Sky's heart lurched painfully in her chest.
"Why would you say that? It's your birthday! You deserve gifts and cakes and parties, you deserve an amazing day because you are amazing, and I want to celebrate with you because I— I care about you."
Cody's jawline went hard, and Sky could taste his disappointment at her choice of words. I care about you. Yup - here she was, fucking things up as usual. She was the worst girlfriend in the whole fucking world. She couldn't give her boyfriend anything, not sex, not love, not a fucking thing and she had ruined even this moment, the moment when she had just wanted to tell him something nice.
"Please, no gifts, no cake, no parties," Cody spoke silently, keeping his eyes down. "I've never had a birthday party, and it doesn't seem like a good idea to start now."
"You've never had a birthday party?"
Cody's confession hurt Sky in the heart like a knife. Memories of her own birthdays flashed through her mind as a film of endless laughter, happiness, balloons, cakes, gifts, friends, Dad, Kat, ponies, party games, the taste of candy, the absolute certainty that she was loved, that she deserved it all— and she had always taken all that for granted. As it fucking should be. Fierce hate for Cody's lousy foster parents filled her chest like Holy fire. Cody had been only five years old when they had taken him in - they've had 13 years to throw him a fucking birthday party, and not once had they bothered to do it? They couldn't even give a cake and a gift to the boy who deserved the whole fucking world?
"It's not a big deal." He shrugged. "It's not like I want to celebrate the day I was abandoned to die next to the trash cans."
Cody didn't talk about that often. He had only mentioned it a couple of times, but hearing his words broke Sky's heart.
"Cody—"
"Just— just don't," his voice was suddenly dark and bitter. "My own mother didn't care if I lived or died. She left me there. She left me— So tell me, what the fuck should I celebrate? What's so fucking amazing about my birthday?"
"You," Sky breathed, laying a hand on his heaving chest, over his heart. "You. You lived, and you are here, today, with me. And I— I couldn't imagine my life without you in it."
Cody's throat bobbed. He didn't say anything, but his breathing came in sharp, tense exhales. Sky felt how he trembled under her touch, felt the fast, uneven beat of his heart.
"And even if your Mom did the most horrible thing—" Sky went on, her voice almost breaking, "—maybe she did her best too. Maybe— maybe she left you next to the trash cans because she knew that someone would come there to get the trash in the morning. Maybe she didn't leave you to die, but to be found—"
"Sky, don't—" Cody breathed, his voice barely audible, but Sky couldn't stop. The words kept falling off her lips in haste, fast in their need to be heard.
"— and you said you were found wrapped in a jacket, right? So maybe she gave you her jacket so that you wouldn't be cold on the ground. Maybe she did that because she wanted to make sure that you were warm, that you would be found—"
"Please, I can't—"
"—because she knew she was an addict and she knew she couldn't take care of you, and maybe she just thought it would be best to let someone else have you. Because you are beautiful, Cody, and you are perfect, and I won't believe your Mom didn't see that, I can't believe she would have just left you to die, because how could she do that? How could she not love you? How could anyone not love you?"
Cody's eyes widened, they filled with tears, his trembling lips parted. For a moment he looked like he would break, like that day in the rehab when he had cried in her arms— but then he drew in a shaky breath and turned his eyes away.
"Easy. You don't love me either," his voice was dry, broken. "I guess I'm just not that lovable."
His words were an arrow through her heart.
"Cody—" Sky raised a hand, but he took a step back, then another, as if her presence caused him pain.
"I have to go," he wiped the couple of tears that had fallen to his cheeks. His shoulders rose and fell with sharp inhales. "I have to go— The owls— shit— my parents are expecting me to—"
And then he was gone, running down the hall, leaving the door open as he went. The emptiness of his simple, white room sucked the air out of Sky's lungs.
She just didn't know how to do this thing called love. She fucked it up every single time.