Episode 31:
The Mother of All Premieres

Featuring the voices of:
Lorenzo Music as Ranma
Frank Welker as Kenma
Susan Blu as Ranko
Kath Soucie as Atsuko
Janet Waldo as Akane
B.J Ward as Kasumi
Diane Pershing as Nabiki
Ed Gilbert as Genma
Rene Aberjonnois as Soun
and
Terry MacGovern as Jinn

GUEST STARRING
TRESS MACNEILLE as Nodoka

It was a mild, cloudy morning as the Tendos, Saotomes, Jinn, and Tsubasa came out to the local cemetery to pay their respects to Mrs. Tendo.

"Dearest Kimiko…" sighed Soun. "We are all healthy and doing well. Even if I should start seeing someone, I will never forget you."

Akane laid a bouquet of flowers at the grave. "Here you are, Mom," she said. "I know carnations aren't in season, but I also know they're your favorite."

Kasumi took some water in a ladle, and spooned it over the grave, letting the liquid cascade all over the tombstone.

A little while later, Ranma, Kenma and Akane were out on the porch in the backyard.

"So…do you remember your mom?" inquired Ranma.

Akane gave a quick nod. "She died when I was at least 5," she explained. "But she was pretty, and kind…above all, just a wonderful mother."

Kenma gave a nod, now lost in his thoughts.

"Well, that's good for you, Akane." Ranma said, his tone genuine.

Nabiki walked over to join the discussion. "What about your mom, guys?"

"Huh?" the older Saotome brother was caught off-guard by this question.

"Well, you never mentioned what she was like," explained Nabiki.

That caused Ranma and Kenma to start pondering.

"You must remember something about her," prodded Akane.

"...nope," Kenma replied. "I don't even know what she looks like."

"You really don't remember anything about her?" Nabiki asked.

"Not a thing really," Kenma answered. "Don't know what she looks like, sounds like…hell, we aren't even sure if she's alive anymore or not."

Nobody had forgotten the whole "fake mom" incident from last season, especially not the Tendos.

Sensing that this was a sore moment for both boys, Soun came over and sat between them both.

"I hope I'm not intruding," he said cautiously. "I know how sensitive this issue is for you both."

"Nah, it's fine," Ranma reassured.

Kenma nodded in agreement. "Aye, what he said," he replied. "It's difficult not having a mom or knowing about her, sure, but on the bright side, we have an aunt. So that's almost as good, y'know?"

Soun nodded, remembering that a while back, Kenma had met his aunt Atsuko and invited her to stay with them at the Tendos' place for a while. This had set Genma on high alert, since Atsuko wasn't exactly his biggest fan. After all, he had dumped her so he could start dating her younger sister…but more on that in a while!

"In fact, I think we're more than due for some answers!" Kenma said. But before he could go find his aunt, Genma ran up holding a sign.

It's time I reveal the secret after all these years!, it read.

"Better be good, cause if it's a stupid answer…" Ranma trailed off, then he cracked his knuckles at the sign and his father.

Genma raised another sign. I gave birth to you myself—you sprung fully formed from my brow, and I won Kenma in a high-stakes poker game which I may or may not have cheated at…

KRAK!
THWACK!
PUH-PUH-POW!

Genma soon found himself lying on the ground, several teeth missing, a black eye [although you couldn't tell because of his fur], and a broken arm.

"What, you think I'm an idiot?" scoffed Ranma. "I'm willing to bet Mom ran out on you!"

"The only part of that I could believe was you cheating at Poker," Kenma glared at the downed Panda-Genma.

"Chances are, he probably ran out on her," remarked Kasumi under her breath.

"Wouldn't put it past him," muttered Nabiki.

"Probably ran away when she chased him after the bills came in," Akane grumbled.

Soun looked on and sighed at his old friend's antics. Why was he so determined to keep his wife away from their sons for so long?

"Now, why don't ya tell us the truth before we beat it outta ya?" Ranma urged as he grabbed the fat panda by the fur of his neck.

Genma frantically shook his head. I can't do that! I just can't! read his sign.

"Can't? Or won't?" Kenma asked, pulling out his nunchucks. "Either way, it doesn't make a lick of difference to me."

"Ya might as well fess up, Pop!" his brother urged, his hand twitching in tranquil fury.

Genma, seeing that he was trapped between a rock and a very painful place, did the one thing he could do in this situation…

he ran away like a coward.

"Oh wow, who saw that one coming?" Nabiki sarcastically stated as they watched the panda man flee in fear.

"Of course he ran away with his tail between his legs." Kasumi said with an unusually blank expression.

"...well, as enlightening as this little chat has been, I think I'll go for a walk," said Kenma. "You comin', big bro?"

"I'm comin." Ranma said as he stretched his arms and put them behind his head. "Lead the way."

And with that, both brothers strode away—and after changing into less formal wear, they were out walking.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER…

Ranma was, as usual, strolling atop a chain-link fence, while Kenma drifted alongside him aboard the Flying Nimbus.

A mother, huh? Ranma thought. Come to think of it, I never really wondered! All I've ever known was Dad, Kenma, and me traveling together…

Which makes ME wonder, Kenma thought back via the mind link. What kind of person WAS mom, anyway?

Well, whatever she was, she must've been crazy, desperate, or completely sloshed to marry an idiot like Pop, Ranma responded.

Suddenly, the fence he was standing atop began to tilt and wobble. Who'd have guessed the darn thing was unstable?

"Oh, crud—!" exclaimed Ranma as he jumped to another part of the fence as it fell off. "...sheesh, that was close!" he remarked…right before that other part also broke off and fell.

"I spoke too soon…!" he bellowed as he fell into the storm drain.

"Uh-oh!" Kenma exclaimed as he steered Nimbus towards the gap, and lowered his tail like a fishing line.

"Young lady, are you alright?" asked a female voice from nearby.

"Lady? What're you talking a—" Ranko started before she looked down. Indeed, she was now female.

I must've gotten so startled by that sudden fall I subconsciously activated my change, she thought to herself.

Looking up again, she saw the woman holding out a long, thin object. "Here! Grab onto this, and I'll pull you up!" she called.

"And I'll help too!" Kenma agreed as he hopped down from the cloud behind the woman. "...that is, if you wouldn't mind, Miss."

The woman smiled. "Not at all, I'd appreciate it," she replied, allowing Kenma to wrap his tail around her waist.

Ranko reached up and grabbed tightly onto the object.

"Now, on three, we pull," instructed the woman. "One…two…THREE!"

And so they both pulled, managing to do so hard enough that they successfully hoisted Ranko up.

"Miss, I owe you a debt of gratitude," said Kenma. "You sure did help my friend here!"

The woman nodded. "I'm just happy I could lend a hand," she responded, before taking notice of the floating cloud nearby.

A flying cloud? Hmm…

"Next time you feel like showing off, try doing it at a reasonable height," the woman advised. Now that she was in plain sight, both Ranko and Kenma got a good look at her. She had reddish-brown hair done up in a traditional geisha style, and kind blue eyes that matched the color of the kimono she was wearing.

"I'll keep that in mind," nodded Ranko. "So…what brings you to town?"

"I'm going to visit my sons," the woman explained. "It'll be the first time I've seen them in years."

"That's pretty funny," commented Kenma. "In an ironic sense. We were just wondering what it's like having a mom. We haven't seen ours in years!"

For a moment, silence reigned supreme.

"Well…I hope you reunite with your mother," said the woman.

"Thanks," replied Ranko. "We hope you get to meet your sons."

And on that note, they parted ways, going in separate directions.

Nice lady, thought Ranko.

Oh, most certainly, agreed Kenma. I hope our mother's like that.

Yeah, me too, Ranko thought as well.

Later, at the dojo.

Ranko walked through the door, holding her socks and shoes. "Hey, Goobers! We're home!" she announced.

"And Kasumi!" added Kenma.

Immediately, both of them were grabbed up by Genma. "Boys, we're going on a trip," he said quickly.

"Explanations, now, before I start biting," warned Kenma. "And this time, I'm angling to break the skin."

"No time to explain, Kenma!" their father urged.

"MAKE time, then!" Kenma said, baring his teeth.

"He's not kidding, ya know." Ranko said in a very matter-of-fact tone.

"I'm actually quite curious too, Saotome," said Soun as he appeared behind the portly martial artist. "Surely you didn't intend to just leave without telling us anything!"

"Of COURSE I did, Tendo!" Genma remarked. "And DON'T call me Shirley!"

"Okay, let me ask this a different way," Kenma stated, right before he started to strangle his father. "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY FROM THIS TIME, YOU FAT FUCK!?"

"Oh, why do you have to ask so many questions?" the big ham whined.

"It's the ONLY way to learn!" Kenma shouted as he shook his father, jolting loose a piece of paper on his person, which Ranko snapped up.

SHORTLY!

"I hope this letter finds you well…I'm coming to visit. Signed, Nodoka," read Akane as she held the note.

"Mr. Saotome seemed petrified when this letter came in." Nabiki observed.

"I wonder why?" queried Kasumi. "And that name…'Nodoka'. Definitely a woman's name."

"So who could it be, then?" asked Akane.

"Hmph! That's none of your business!" Genma insisted with a huff. "Besides, I wouldn't tell even if I were being stampeded by a band of wild horses!"

"Wild horses, maybe…but what about a horse and a monkey?" smirked Kenma. "I say we beat it outta him!"

"You read my mind again, Kenma!" Ranma said, cracking his knuckles. "Alright, so what'd ya do: rob a bank, stiff a waitress? We think it's high time you told us what's goin on!"

"Ranma, how dare you think of your father in such an unflattering light!" sniffled Genma, working up a big surplus of crocodile tears.

"And how dare you act like you've got the right to be offended!" Kenma retorted before shifting into a policeman. "Awright, Saotome, fess up! We know you've got the loot stashed here somewhere, so come clean!" he bellowed in an Irish brogue. "If we're feelin' nice, you might only get 10 hours instead of 24 hours of community service!"

He then shapeshifted into an orphan child with torn clothes. "There he is, Sister Mary! There's the mean old man who took the donation money I wuz supposed t'collect for th' orphans!" he whimpered, before taking his crutch and smacking Genma in the knees with it.

THWACK!

As Genma collapsed in pain, the last form Kenma took on was a nun.

"Stealing from little orphans, Mr. Saotome! Tsk-tsk! King Yemma will have something especially horrible ready for you when your time comes!" he chastised before pulling out a large wooden plank. "But until then, consider this a sneak preview!"

He grabbed Genma by his back end, and started paddling him until his ass was sore!

WHAP!
WHAP!
WHAP!
WHAP!
WHAP!

"Ready to talk now, then?" Kenma asked as he changed back to normal.

"Alright, alright! I'll talk!" The Saotome patriarch finally gave in as he stood and freed himself from his bindings. "The person who's coming is Ranma and Kenma's…." he announced via a microphone.

"Well? Go on!" the older Saotome brother urged, tired of the runaround.

"The person is…" Genma began, before pausing.

Just then, the doorbell rang. "Hello?" called a voice from outside.

Immediately, Genma shrieked like a tiny little girl and went into a fetal position.

"FORGIVE ME, MOTHER!" he shrieked. "I NEVER MEANT TO TAKE THEM!"

"I'll get it," Kasumi stated as she got up to answer the door.

Kenma grabbed Genma and slammed his back into a wall. "...WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" he scowled.

"Please tell me this isn't about ANOTHER engagement, or you did something to another criminal mastermind." Soun asked his old friend.

"...I may be dumb, but I'm not insane!" Genma yelled as he struggled under Kenma's grasp. "Wait! Did I say that out loud?"

"Very loud." Nabiki snickered at the rotund fighter.

"Back up for a minute, but did he say MOTHER?!" Ranma asked in disbelief at what he heard.

"He totally did," Nabiki said with a smile on her face.

"So then that means…" Akane added.

"The woman coming here, is your wife?" Soun asked as they all stared at Genma.

"You married someone?" asked Kenma. "Here I thought we were stolen from an orphanage!"

"Well, that dream was good until this revelation." Ranma pointed out.

"Someone said yes to marrying you?" Nabiki questioned that. "...was she sober?"

"Nabiki!" Akane gasped at her sister's question.

"You were thinking the same thing too, don't deny it." Nabiki countered said gasp.

"...fair point, but still." Akane responded.

"Hold on…how do we know this is legitimate?" asked Kenma.

"We'll have to get a good look at her." Akane suggested.

Kenma rolled his eyes. "How dense are you?" he asked. "Lookin's not gonna tell you jack shit!"

"But listening will!" chimed in Atsuko as she poked her head in. "I know what my little sister sounds like, so I could definitely verify!"

"Thanks a bunch, auntie!" Kenma grinned. "This way we won't be flying blind!"

Genma paled visibly…and when the doorbell rang, he damn near melted!

"Excuse me?" called a female voice from outside.

"I'll get it!" Kasumi said as she got to her feet.

"And I'll come with you!" Jinn chimed in as he followed behind.

Akane smiled. "Maybe that's her," she said. "C'mon, let's go see!"

Atsuko's eyes lit up at the sound of the woman's voice. "That is her!"

Akane and Atsuko followed Jinn and Kasumi to the door, leaving Ranma and Kenma behind.

"Boys…" said Genma as he placed a hand atop Ranma's shoulder. "I've been doing a lot of thinking."

"Is that where the smell of burning tires has been coming from?" Kenma inquired.

"It must be hard having a father like me," continued Genma.

"That's putting it lightly," Ranma replied icily, before both brothers found themselves grabbed in Genma's elbows.

"AND IT'S GONNA GET WORSE!" Genma declared as he hurled himself and the boys right into the koi pond with a SPLASH!

Genma emerged as a panda, but Ranma hadn't changed into girl-form. Kenma had changed into his Wukong form, but apart from his tail and sideburns, he wasn't that different-looking.

Eh? Why didn't you change? Genma asked via his sign.

"Trade secret!" retorted Ranma, grabbing the sign and breaking it over Genma's head. "Now you just stay here and soak your head while we go meet our mom."

"Yeah, yeah!" Kenma chimed in, before protectively grasping Ranma's hand.

The fat panda quickly proffered another sign that read Abandon all hope, he who enters there.

Of course, the boys just weren't hearing it. "Do us a favor and cram it, will ya?" Kenma said as he and his brother headed back inside.

MEANWHILE…

"I've been on this trip for quite some time now," said the woman as she was seated in the living room. "...so could you tell me where I might find Ranma, Kenma and Genma Saotome?"

"Ah, they must be outside training." Soun said before seeing Ranma and Kenma walk in. "Oh, here come the boys now."

The woman glanced over to see Ranma and Kenma. She was surprised…especially because Kenma looked just like that boy who'd helped her earlier.

And Kenma was just as surprised, since he'd immediately connected the dots on that.

…that lady from earlier… he began.

…is OUR mother?! finished Ranma.

…now that I look at her, she kinda looks like your girl form. Kenma thought, seeing that the resemblance was very uncanny.

Really? Ranma thought back, making a mental comparison. Well, at least we know where your red hair comes from now…

"...boys?" came Soun's voice. "This woman is your mother…Nodoka Saotome."

Both boys stood in shock, not quite sure of what to say. Kenma, of course, felt like a little kid who was just being introduced to his adoptive family.

Taking a deep breath, Ranma made his way over to Nodoka, staring her right in the eyes.

"...it's absolutely you, no doubt about it," the redheaded woman smiled, her eyes alight with tears. "You're as handsome as the day you were born."

For the first time in his life, Ranma was at a complete loss for words.

"I understand that this might be shocking to you, but I don't want to suddenly thrust you into things," said Nodoka.

Not wasting any words, the ponytailed boy embraced his mother in a hug. Kasumi, Akane, Jinn, Aki and Nabiki watched in quiet joy, while Soun was bawling his eyes out.

"IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL…!" he exclaimed. "A MOTHER AND SON, REUNITED AFTER ALL THIS TIME!"

"I never thought I'd see the day!" Ranma said while still in Nodoka's arms, not even bothering to hold back his tears.

Kenma stood off to the side, looking on awkwardly, not quite sure how to get himself involved.

"Aren't you gonna join in, Ken?" his brother asked, somewhat confused.

"Well, sure…I just didn't wanna come in too soon," Kenma replied casually, rubbing his arm.

"Please don't be shy, dear." Nodoka urged.

Mustering up his courage, Kenma made his way over and gingerly put his arms around his mother.

Atsuko sniffled and wiped the tears from her face.

Genma watched from the koi pond, baffled at what was taking place.

They're actually…reuniting. Maybe, just maybe…there is a chance—

"So…what have you been up to in this last decade?" Nodoka asked. "And where might your father be?"

Kenma's look became one of disgust. "...probably slinking around here somewhere," he replied icily. "Chances are, his miserable stench will permeate the air soon enough, and we'll track him via that."

"Oh, yeah!" Ranma chimed in. "I'll just bet he's thinking of another way to separate us."

Genma paled and sunk into the water.

Alright, this is getting to be a problem—the boy's getting too independent… he thought, before a crafty smirk came to his lips. But I'll have to reveal the boy's little secret somehow, and then he'll come crawling back to ME…after all, he can't be considered a "man among men" if he turns into a girl!

And thus, we begin the new season, folks. Welcome to book 3: we're one book away from our final season, so strap in. This is when we start making the transition from "zany martial-arts sitcom" to more action-oriented storytelling. Also, prepare for more continuity.

As you can see, Genma will be getting a bit more proactive in making sure that Ranma and Kenma remain dependant on him, even when they inherit the Tendo School...but what lengths will he go to?

Well, you'll have to wait and see, of course!