It was one thing to see Sky and Cody together at school. But to see her with him here, at the dojo—
It was another kind of torture.
This was supposed to be their place, the one place where Hawk knew he could hang out with Sky as easily and naturally as possible, the safe place where they could learn how to be around each other, to be friends again, and now–
It was fucking ruined.
"The fuck is he doing here?" Hawk muttered to Miguel under his breath.
Miguel glanced at Sky and Cody who stood talking with Mr.LaRusso, holding hands in a way that annoyed the shit out of Hawk.
"I don't know. But Mr. LaRusso has always said that everyone is welcome in Miyagi-Do, so." Miguel's sentence ended in a shrug.
"Jesus Christ," Hawk rolled his eyes. "Does everyone have to include him? I'm really supposed to train with Cody? That's gonna be a fucking disaster—"
"Yeah, well— I'm not sure he's too thrilled about training with you either," Miguel noted a bit pointedly. "You did beat the crap out of him."
Hawk didn't reply, just turned his eyes down and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
Miguel was right, of course. He knew that well enough. What he had done to Cody, had been awful, and he couldn't blame Cody for hating his guts and for wanting nothing to do with him. He wasn't looking for Cody's forgiveness anymore, knowing it would never be granted. But if Cody truly hated him that much, then what the fuck was he doing here where they would have to interact?
You know why he's here. He doesn't want Sky alone with you.
That thought made something turn hot and tense inside of his belly. The way Sky had looked at him when walking into this yard minutes ago, her cheeks turning pink as she had hastily drawn her eyes off him—
It couldn't be just in his head. Just like it wasn't just in his head that she had thrown herself into his arms only a couple of days ago, had let him hold her hand when she cried. There was something still there, between them, and he was sure that she felt it too. The pull to be close, the wanting that felt like an electric current running through his body, making his skin hot, flushed, turning into goosebumps. He couldn't stop thinking about how it had felt to hug her, how her scent had filled his nostrils with every, fast inhale, how she had buried her face against his aching chest—
Jesus Christ, get a grip. You're imagining things. She's here with her boyfriend, for fucks sake.
Hawk swallowed the sudden bitterness the best he could. He was being a horny, selfish idiot. His urges and desires hardly mattered now. What mattered was that Sky was here, instead of doing drugs, self-harming, or planning a suicide like he had feared. She was here, out of her bed, out of her house, and even if she was pale and the look in her eyes was still haunted, she seemed to be more or less okay. Hawk might not want to admit it, but he knew he probably had Cody to thank for that.
With a frown, Hawk glanced toward the duo. Cody was holding Sky's hand, and Sky leaned closer to him, as if he was the only thing in the world keeping her on her feet. It felt like a punch in the gut, and Hawk had to look away. He knew it was low and wrong to hate Cody for holding Sky's hand, and yet he did. He wished lightning would strike Cody where he stood and burn him to ashes.
"What have you got for us today, Mr. LaRusso?" Miguel asked, drawing Hawk's attention back to the moment. He looked up from his toes, to notice that Mr. LaRusso had walked to them and was now signaling them all to follow him.
"Come here," Mr. LaRusso replied, and they all moved closer to the koi pond. Hawk walked with Miguel but glanced over his shoulder to see if Sky and Cody followed. They did, still holding hands, and again Sky looked away before he could meet her eyes. Defeated, Hawk turned his attention back to Mr. LaRusso, who had started explaining today's goals.
"Now, I know you've all been taught to strike first. What do you do when your opponent is faster than you?"
"Are those real koi?" Asked Mitch with a frown, noticing the shapes that swam below the surface of the clear water.
"They sure are," Mr. LaRusso replied, following Mitch's glance. "Today's lesson is simple. Catch a fish. But since I know you Eagle Fangs like a little bit of competition, we're gonna make it interesting. So, the first to succeed will have the honor of leading class all week."
Everyone glanced around, not impressed at all. Leading class? Was that supposed to be a great reward? The only one who seemed even a bit interested was Sky, who was observing Mr. LaRusso intently, her hand lingering in Cody's grip. The dark-haired boy was also listening to Mr. LaRusso with a calm, concentrated face, which suddenly annoyed the crap out of Hawk.
He wished he could push Cody into the pond, and melt away his arrogant cool. He'd love to see if Sky would laugh at that—
Laugh? Yeah, right. She would punch me in the face.
A bitter memory flashed through his mind. Sky, yelling at him at the Cobra Kai dojo after he had beaten Cody up, her fist that met his cheek and brought the taste of blood onto his lips. Had he learned nothing? No matter how jealous he was, he could never lay a hand on Cody again, or Sky would rip his spine out through his mouth.
He clenched his fists on his sides, flexed them open again, trying to force himself to listen to the instructions. He didn't want to be the idiot who had to ask what they had to do, didn't want Sky to look at him like he had lost half of his brain cells - but it was fucking impossible to concentrate on anything when she was here but she wasn't his, when she was holding another dude's hand when it should have been him, it should have been him, it should be me—
"And you get to pick out what flavor of Gatorade I buy next." said, and Hawk dropped back into the moment. Gatorade. Catching fish. Right. He needed to get his shit together.
"Aw, Hell yeah! Hope you all like Glacial Freeze!" Exclaimed Mithc, making everyone laugh, Hawk included.
"Okay, where are the rods?" Miguel asked, taking initiative, as always.
Mr. LaRusso smiled as if he'd been waiting for that question all along.
"Back in my Garage. Your bare hands are all you'll use and all you'll need." A moment of silence followed as he let those words sink in. They would have to catch the fish with their hands? Hawk frowned as he glanced at Miguel. What did this have to do with karate? He'd much rather be punching someone in the face, preferably Cody—
He pushed that thought away and turned his eyes back to the fast-moving shapes of the koi fish that lurked under the surface. Mr. LaRusso was a great sensei. He knew what he was doing, and even if Hawk didn't get it now, he was sure there was a point to this exercise if he just went along with it.
"On your mark," Mr. LaRusso said and they all gathered around the pond. "Get set. Go!"
Hawk crouched next to the water next to Miguel and tried to grab a fish that swam past him and escaped, making him quickly realize that this exercise was a lot harder than he had imagined.
And indeed, only seconds after that, Miguel lost his balance and splashed into the water, making everyone burst into laughter. The only one who didn't look amused, was Miguel himself, as he stood up completely soaked.
Hawk couldn't hold back his laughter, and when he glanced at Sky, he noticed she was giggling too. God, it felt good to see a smile on her lips - it was like looking at the sun, the sight blinded Hawk, and he only realized he was staring, when Sky's cheeks turned pink and she hid her smile, bringing a hand to her mouth.
"Looks like you're a little wet behind the ears," Mr. LaRusso said, a smile in his voice. "All right, let's get you dried off."
Hawk drew his attention away from Sky, back to Miguel, and helped him out of the pond. Miguel went to search for a towel, as Hawk and the rest of them continued their attempts to catch a fish, but no one seemed to have any luck. The fish were quick and agile, their scaly skin was smooth and slick, and even if Hawk managed to touch a few, he couldn't get a grip and all the prey escaped him.
After an hour of trying, they were all frustrated, sweaty, and more or less wet. None of them had succeeded, but Hawk didn't even care. Throwing himself into this task had been fun, it had been entertaining, and most importantly, it had almost been enough to erase his earlier annoyance and jealousy about Cody's presence. The sound of Sky's laughter when Miguel had fallen into the pond, the small gasps and yelps she had let out, trying to catch a fish, getting splashes of water on her arms and her face, were the sweetest sounds Hawk had ever heard.
He could have listened to them forever. Forever and ever he could have watched the smile that lit up Sky's face when she almost succeeded.
His heart was still fluttering in his chest when he dried his arms and his face in the towel. From the corner of his eye, he watched how Sky pulled back the unruly curls of her hair that was wild with the humidity. The curve of her neck was a work of art, her skin was pale and smooth. Hawk's chest felt hollow, his mouth went dry with wanting as he looked at her fingers brushing through her hair as she collected the strands into a high ponytail that cascaded down her back. She was talking with Cody in a low voice, Hawk couldn't make out the words, but the soft sound of her voice made something flutter inside of his belly, it made him yearn for something long lost, long broken, it stirred memories of Sky in his arms, on her bed, in the darkness. He remembered the taste of her skin, the scent of her hair, and fuck, it was too much, it wasn't enough, his heart was bursting through his ribcage.
He had to look away. The towel in his grip was trembling slightly. Oh God, what her presence was doing to him— it was like she was a drug and he was an addict. He didn't even care that Cody was right there, he would walk to Sky and confess his love, he would pull her back into his arms and kiss her, hold her, never let go—
When he finally mastered that emotion and looked back up, he noticed that Sky and Cody had left. He was alone with Miguel in the yard.
"You okay?" Miguel asked with a frown, noticing the way Hawk was grabbing the towel with a white-knuckle grip.
He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm fine. You? Dried out yet?"
"Nah," Miguel laughed. "I'm still soaked. Can't believe I fell in there… Mr. LaRusso must think I'm an idiot."
"No, come on— You're El Serpiente, you're one of the best students in the dojo. He fucking adores you."
Miguel scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I wish. I still don't think he believes I'm good enough to date Sam. I mean, the other night at the dinner, I spilled a glass of wine on him—"
"You gotta stop that. Who cares about some spilled wine? Mr. LaRusso should be thrilled you're the one Sam's dating, you know, considering the other options."
Miguel shrugged, stuffing his towel into his gym bag. "I don't know, man. I just— how am I ever going to be good enough? Sam's rich. She's used to having all this stuff— and I can't even afford to go to the college I want."
"Look," Hawk replied, letting out a frustrated sigh. "Sam and I have had our issues, but— if you really like her, don't give up. If she makes you happy, then go all in. She's worth the trouble. And Mr. LaRusso— he is really nice and smart. He'll see that you're great with Sam, that you treat her right, and that's what matters."
Miguel didn't look too convinced, but in the end, just shrugged and finished stuffing his things into his bag.
"So, how are things with Sky?" He asked, making Hawk almost drop the towel he was still holding.
"What do you mean?"
"You know, just the fact that you couldn't take your eyes off her the whole time she was here."
Damn Miguel, always so fucking observant. Hawk hadn't talked to him about Sky, not about the stuff that really mattered, but of course, Miguel would know anyway. With one, angry motion, Hawk stuffed his towel into his gym bag, not looking at Miguel as he replied: "There's nothing going on between us. She's dating that asshole Cody Bishop, so."
Miguel gave him a curious look. "Right. Have you talked to her?"
"About what?" Hawk frowned.
"You know. About the way you feel."
Hawk felt his cheeks heating, and he turned his eyes away. Suddenly the yard was silent, he could hear the wind in the bamboo trees, the sounds of the cars some distance away, his own racing heart in his chest.
"Come on— there's nothing to talk about." His voice was dry, raspy, it got caught in his throat. "She's moved on. I'm not gonna ruin that for her."
"You sure that she's moved on?"
Something in Miguel's voice made Hawk turn around. His heart felt heavy in his chest, the beat fast and painful. "What do you mean?"
"She keeps looking at you too, man. When you don't notice."
"She— does that?"
"Totally," Miguel assured with a small smile. "And I think Cody noticed that too. He didn't look too happy when they left."
"Yeah well, he's a jealous asshole. He shouldn't have come in the first place— I can't believe Sky let him. Maybe I should've pushed him into the Koi pond."
Miguel let out a chuckle. "Yeah, maybe not. Sky would kick your ass for that."
"Dude, I wish. I wouldn't even fight back," Hawk grinned. "I'd let her do anything she wants to me—"
His sentence was cut in half, as he heard the slide door behind him being drawn open. His heart in his throat he turned to look—
It was Sky, standing in the doorway, looking at him wide-eyed, flushed, shocked.
"Sorry—" she gasped, her chest rising and falling with fast exhales. "I didn't mean to— I just forgot my water bottle."
She snatched the pink water bottle that lay forgotten nearby. Hawk hadn't even noticed it was there. His thoughts were bouncing inside of his head like ping-pong balls, he couldn't stop them, calm them, he was forgetting to breathe.
How much did she hear? Fuck— did she hear what I said about Cody? Did she hear that I still have feelings for her?
"Sky, wait—" He was on his feet in a heartbeat, rushing after her as she turned to leave and walked into the building. "I— I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to hear that."
She stopped and turned around, and in the dim light of the room her eyes were wide and dark, her cheeks the color of cherry blossoms, they looked like splashes of pink paint on her pale skin.
"You shouldn't— you shouldn't talk about things you know nothing about." She breathed, her words fast and shaky. "I asked Cody to come with me. Not the other way around. He's not— he's not like that at all."
Hawk swallowed hard and turned his eyes down.
"Yeah, I know. I just—"
"Look—" Sky said and something in her voice made Hawk look back up, meeting her breathtakingly green eyes. "I— I read your letter. The one you sent to me to rehab—"
His heart almost stopped. "You— what?"
"Luke had it. When he— he died, I got it back. I read it. And— I just—I wanted to know— did you really mean it?"
Her words came shaky, broken, as if she had to force them out but Hawk replied without any hesitation.
"Yes. I did. I still do."
Her eyes filled with tears, her pink lips were trembling and more than anything in the world, Hawk wanted to pull her into his arms, to hold her, to comfort her— but something in her posture was tense, fragile, it told him she didn't want to be touched.
"I don't wanna be mad at you anymore," she breathed, barely audible. "It's exhausting. I just wish none of it had ever happened, that I could just forget all about it."
"But it did happen," he rasped, shame breaking his voice. "I did all that. I said all those horrible things."
"I know. But I want to move on. I want to forgive. For everything. The things you said and did— now I don't even know why they ever mattered so much."
"Sky—" he felt like his knees would give in. Like the floor was crumbling under his feet. "Sky, Oh my God—"
"It doesn't mean we're getting back together or anything," she added hastily, her cheeks turning a shade darker. The bottle in her hands was shaking. "Just— I can't hate you anymore. I'm not sure that I ever did."
With that she turned on her heels and rushed away, her hair flying in the air after her, and the scent of vanilla she left behind filled Hawk's chest with nameless wanting, despair, and need.
The air had never felt as easy to breathe, his heart had never felt heavier
He was forgiven, forgiven, and yet—
Sky was still going home with Cody.