Sky was the last person to enter the auditorium, slipping through the doors only moments before they were closed. While searching for an empty, back-row seat, she pulled the hood of her loose, black hoodie over her too-bright hair, trying to make herself as small and as unnoticeable as possible. The room was dark already, the curtains closed as the play was about to start, which was exactly the way Sky had wanted it. She didn't want to be seen, to be noticed, she knew she shouldn't even be here - and yet, it had been impossible to stay away.

Dead Poets Society.

Cody's last school play, the one he had been practicing for months. Sky had lived that excitement with him, helping him to learn his lines, watching the film with him time after time so that he could study the way Neil talked, his expressions, his maneuvers— So how could she stay away now, even if she knew he hardly wanted her here? This was her last chance to see him on stage, for in a couple of months he would graduate, and then— well, Sky just knew he'd get into one of the acting schools he had applied to. He was just that good. And that meant that he would move away, and Sky would never see him again unless it was his face on a movie poster someday in the distant future.

That thought was unbearable. Losing Cody hurt more than she had thought possible. She missed him, missed everything about him, missed his laughter and his kind words, missed his smile and his tears, missed the way he took her hand and told her he loved her, told her she was the bravest person he knew, promised to always be there for her.

And she had fucked that up. Since day one with Cody, she had made nothing but bad decisions, and now she was left with bitter regret and an aching Cody-shaped hole in her chest.

Guilt and shame, her constant companions, weighing heavily on her heart, Sky quietly slipped into an empty set near the exit of the auditorium, glancing to her sides making sure no one she knew had seen her. She hadn't told anyone she was coming, not even Dad. To him, she had said she was studying math at Hawk's place, and to Hawk—

Well, she hadn't exactly lied. She was never going to lie to him again. Lies were the love killers, they tainted everything, turned even the sweetest love sour. So when Hawk had asked if Sky wanted to come over after karate, to study, she had simply said she was busy. He hadn't asked more, so Sky hadn't said more. If he had, she would have told him the truth, but—

It was easier this way. They were just learning to be around each other again, and the last thing she wanted was another fight, another confrontation, only days before Valentine's Day - which would be their first real date.

She was just watching a school play. And if Hawk didn't know she was here, neither did Cody. It wasn't like this was some secret rendezvous of lovers behind Hawk's back— but still, she suspected he wouldn't see it that way. She knew all too well that Hawk was still jealous of her and Cody. That jealousy was always present, like black clouds hiding behind the horizon, ready to turn a perfectly beautiful day into an end-of-the-world storm.

She hated it. But what had she been expecting? She'd jumped into this thing with Hawk while still dating Cody, and that had been wrong towards both of them. This mess was all her fault and she knew it.

Which was the exact reason Sky wanted to take things slow. Not just to give herself some time to get over Cody, but also to give Hawk a chance to get over his jealousy. And when they really started dating, things would go right. No more lies or jealousy or cheating or heartbreak for anyone.

Sky wrapped her arms around her body, a sudden shiver running through her spine as the lights were dimmed, and the curtains opened. She glanced towards the door - if she bolted now, she could still leave, go home, and no one would have to know she was ever here, not Hawk, not Cody—

Cody.

No. She had come here for a reason. She needed to see him, she needed closure. She couldn't move on if she didn't wrap this thing up, and that would never happen if she walked out now—

And then it was too late. The play began and Sky glued her trembling body into her seat, trying to calm herself with deep, slow breaths as Cody walked onto the stage.

The sight of him was a dagger through her heart. They hadn't talked since the day she had broken up with him, over a week ago. He hadn't picked up her calls, hadn't replied to her texts, and the other day when they had passed each other in the school hallway, he hadn't even met her eyes. Her greeting had died on her lips when he had turned his eyes away and walked past her as if he didn't even recognize her. But she had known nevertheless, had known how much he was hurting, because for the shortest moment, he had looked like his knees would give in.

Now she could see no trace of that. There were no bruises on Cody's face anymore, no haunted look in his eyes. Every inch of him was so familiar to her that it hurt, and yet— the boy on the stage wasn't him. The crooked grin that pulled the corner of his mouth belonged to someone else, as did those 1950s-styled clothes and the way his hair was swept back with too much hair gail. Sky had arrived here fearing that what she had done to him had destroyed everything, that he wouldn't be even able to perform, but—

She should have known. This was Cody's passion, his love, his future. He wouldn't have thrown all that away because of a break-up, no matter how awful. Sky suspected she was the only one here who even noticed the slight tension in his posture or the way his first lines dropped a bit too fast off his lips - and within minutes even that edge of nervousness melted away. His posture relaxed and the tremor of his voice disappeared as he lost himself in the story.

And soon, so did everyone else.

Sky had expected Cody to be good, but she hadn't expected that from the rest of the cast, nor had she thought that the play would be so captivating, so beautiful. She had to admit that the Drama Club knew what they were doing. All the hours they'd practiced hadn't been for nothing. Everything about this play worked - the lights, the music, the staging, the actors…

But Cody was the star, and this script truly gave him room to shine.

It was the kind of acting you weren't expecting to see in a school play. It was pure art.

There was an energy about him, that pulled everyone's eyes to him. He was the embodiment of excitement, thrill, and beauty. His laughter was clear and loud, his smile lit up the whole room, every line he spoke was delivered to perfection, so flawlessly that Sky soon forgot she was watching a play. Cody brought Neil alive on the stage, with such raw, vulnerable honesty that it left Sky breathless.

She wasn't the only one. She could feel the whole room holding their breath, she could taste the anxiety and the sorrow in the air, as the story progressed and the light, happy tones were little by little replaced by darkness.

This wasn't just a story of a teacher who gave his students a love for poetry. This was a story of lost dreams, of broken hearts, of love and passion and death. This was a tragedy, and tragedy was what Cody did best.

It wasn't acting anymore. Neil's desperate tears on the stage were real. Sky could feel them as an ache in her bones, as a hole in her chest. It took all she had not to leave, not to break in pieces as Cody's voice cracked and grew thick and wet with tears when Neil begged his father to listen, begged for his understanding, his love.

Sky knew Cody's family wasn't in the audience, but by God, they should have been. Maybe that stone-cold bitch of a foster mom would have understood then, seeing the way Cody bawled into his hands on his knees. Maybe she would have felt a sting in her heart— or maybe not. Maybe she would have been the only person in this auditorium with no tears in her eyes, the only one whose heart wasn't breaking for the boy who just wanted to follow his dreams.

In the darkness, Sky cried. She shed her tears for him - for Neil or for Cody - it didn't matter anymore, because at that moment both of them were real. Hiding under her hood, she cried silent rivers onto her cheeks, feeling how her heart broke again and again and again.

She had thought she could do this, she had thought she was prepared, but it was Neil's death scene that broke what was left of her.

Sky couldn't watch. Screwing her eyes shut at the last moment before the gunshot, she brought her hands to cover her ears— but the sound cut through her trembling hands anyway, the sun of the gun, booming in this small school auditorium, and once again she was shot through her shoulder, once again she watched the gun fall from Matt's hands to the white, tiled floor, and once again she saw Kat dying, and once again she couldn't breathe, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't breathe—

When she opened her eyes, gasping for air, Cody lay on the stage, shirtless and without shoes, his toes long and white and bare against the black floor and the growing pool of blood—

Not real, not real, not real— That blood wasn't real, it was fake, this wasn't the lobby of her old school, this was the auditorium of West Valley High, and that wasn't Kat's body in the pool of blood, that was Cody and he was just acting. Not real, not real, not real—

She knew this was just a play, but the dread and horror in her veins were real. Her head was a bubble of panic, her breathing so fast and shallow it couldn't deliver enough oxygen for her racing heart. She barely saw the last minutes of the play - the sorrow of Neil's parents and friends, the firing of Mr. Keating, the legendary O'Captain, My Captain! scene— The sound of the gun kept echoing in her chest, squeezing the air out of her lungs until the moment the curtains finally opened, and the lights were back on, blinding Sky's eyes.

Not real. No one's dead. It was just a play. Calm the fuck down—

Sky forced herself to breathe, breathe, breathe, as the rest of the audience around her started applauding and cheering, but her hands wouldn't move, they were too strengthless to produce any sound. She was still blinking the tears and the shock off her eyes, when the cast returned to the stage for the standing ovation, and her legs were so weak she could barely stand up.

But on the stage, Cody was beaming.

The fake blood had glued his hair against his scalp, it was dripping down the pale skin of his neck onto his bare chest and shoulders, but his eyes were shining, his smile was wide and wild, it revealed all his sharp, white teeth. His stage bow was elegant, flawless, practiced to perfection, but behind that - his joy was bright, real, blinding.

That sight filled Sky's heart so that she felt her ribs cracking. This. This. This was what she had come for. After everything she had done— after everything she had destroyed— to just see Cody like this, doing what he loved. To see him happy.

Now she could finally breathe. Now she could finally have her closure and move on.

With a shaky breath, Sky brought her hands to her cheeks, to wipe away the tears, and turning to leave she allowed herself one more glance at Cody—

He was looking straight at her.

His eyes widened, the smile on his lips disappeared and under the stage makeup, he went pale. His shoulders rose and fell with a sudden, sharp breath, and just like that, back was the agony, back was the heartbreak, back was the Cody-shaped hole in Sky's chest.

No. No, shit—

She hadn't meant for him to know she was here. Never had she meant to ruin this night for him—

She had to go. To leave. Now—!

But her feet were glued to the floor, and before she could make them move again, Cody had jumped down from the elevated stage in one, swift move and was making his way through the crowd towards her, like a fish swimming upstream in a river. And then he was there, standing right in front of her, and suddenly everything was quiet. They were alone. She couldn't hear the sounds of the people who still filled this room, they didn't exist anymore. Cody's scent of books, cotton, and that spicy aftershave she had loved so much, filled Sky's senses, making her head float into the ceiling like a balloon.

"Sky—" he breathed, that word a strangled sound that cracked on his lips. "What— what are you doing here?"

A deep, shaky breath to calm the frantic beat of her heart, but it did no good. Her chest was collapsing. Her voice came out thin and strengthless.

"I— I just wanted to see the play. You worked so hard for it, and— and it was amazing. Cody, you have so much talent. That was— that was incredible—"

"No, Sky— what are you doing here?" he repeated, his eyes searching her face, the tremor in his voice telling her what his words wouldn't - that if she just said she was sorry, if she said she loved him, then he would forgive all, would forget all, he would be hers again—

But he had never been hers, not really. And it had been her choice. A choice she had made on the leather couch of her living room, Hawk's narrow hips between her thighs, kisses of love burning into her skin. She had made that choice, and it was the only choice she could have made, the one she would always make, no matter how much it hurt.

Sky clasped her hands together in front of her, some desperate attempt to control the shiver that was running through her body, her heart, her soul.

"I just came to see the play," she forced the words through her trembling lips. "I know I shouldn't have— but I wanted to see it. To see you. I— I had to see you."

"You— Did you miss me?"

His eyes were wide and dark. The fake blood had stained his face, it was smeared on his lips and for one irrational moment Sky wanted to bring a hand to wipe it off, but no, no, no, he wasn't hers to touch anymore, never again would her fingers trail the sharp line of his cheekbone, never again would she feel the soft curve of his mouth. Her heart broke, it shattered into pieces that cut through her skin and bones as she pushed her hands into the pockets of her hoodie to stop herself from doing something that would only cause more hurt.

"Of course, I missed you— Cody, I tried to call you a thousand times. I wanted so bad to talk to you. To apologize. What I did— You didn't deserve it— none of it. It was my fault. You did nothing wrong. I fucked up, and I'm sorry. And I— I feel horrible about the way things ended between us."

The sliver of hope in Cody's eyes died, as her words sank in. He drew in a sharp breath, his lips were pulled back with a sudden emotion.

"You feel horrible? So that's why you're here? Because— 'cause you feel horrible and— what? You want me to comfort you? To make you feel better?"

"No, no— that's not what I meant, I—"

"Jesus, Sky— You're the most selfish person I've ever met!"

His outburst came out raspy, broken but loud enough to attract the attention of everyone who was still in the room. His friends on the stage turned to look - Tom, Savannah, Jess, Joey— all the kids who surely now hated her, and why not? They had every reason to. Sky's eyes filled with tears, embarrassment, and shame. She took a shaky breath, trying to force her feet to move, to get away from here, out, out, out—

"What the fuck?" came a sharp voice. Jess had appeared to Cody's side, her black eyes were burning. "What the fuck are you doing here? You'd better leave, or I'll punch you in the face!"

"Jess—" Cody breathed, the sound so soft on his lips it was barely a word at all. "Don't—"

But Jess didn't even turn to look at him, her eyes stayed on Sky's face, her sharp jaw tilted up definitely as she stepped between her and Cody.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She spat out the angry words. "You just had to show up and ruin Cody's night? Like you hadn't done enough already?"

Sky felt like there was a wind blowing right through her, making her unsteady on her feet. Stupid. Stupid, so stupid to come here, to search for closure, for healing, for a new beginning. Everything Cody had said was true. She was selfish, a selfish, stupid slut, and she had never deserved him.

"You're right," she breathed, taking a step back, then another. She wrapped her arms around her body, trying to hold herself together, to stop her insides from falling out through the hole in her chest. "You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come."

As she turned to leave, and rushed away from him, everything she had wanted to say, died on her lips - just as his love for her had died, it was dead and gone now, as surely as if it had never existed at all.

It was over. Like a dream, his love had slipped through her fingers, leaving behind only a painful, hollow ache.