The air in Sky's room was thick with the smell of blood. It coated Hawk's tongue the moment he entered, and the taste of iron made his stomach turn.

Sky was lying on the bed, curled up in a ball, hugging her knees tight against her chest. She was still wearing the same clothes as a couple of hours ago when they had talked in the school parking lot - that now felt like it had happened in another lifetime - but now her black band T-shirt and her jeans were soaked in blood that had glued them to her body. Her arms and her hands were covered with a thick, dark red layer, but he couldn't see her face.

"Sky—" he rasped, walking closer.

She didn't react. Her eyes were closed, her body was tense as a string, trembling, and her breathing came in short, shallow gasps and sobs.

Trying to swallow the lump in his throat, Hawk carefully sat on the bed. His heartbeat was ticking fast and nervous in his throat, as if he'd swallowed a watch.

"Sky, I heard— what happened. That Cody—" his voice broke. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry— I never meant— I didn't mean for this to happen—"

A broken cry left Sky's lips, a desperate wail. She pulled her knees tighter against her chest and hid her face against them.

"You— hated him—"

They were barely more than a sob but Hawk felt those words as an arrow through his heart.

Yeah, he had hated Cody, but— but— that didn't mean he had wanted this to happen. He had never wanted Cody to die. Not even that awful day when they had fought in the bathroom—

He stopped that thought before it could take a proper form. He didn't want to remember the rage in his chest, the sharp taste of violence, the color of Cody's blood against the pale green floor tiles. He wasn't that guy anymore, hadn't been in a long time.

"I was just jealous," he groaned. "I was stupid— and jealous because I thought you loved him. I never— I didn't even know him, not really. I didn't— I didn't want him to die."

"He— his head— he shot himself." Sky whimpered. "He's dead. I killed him. I killed him. I killed him."

"No, Sky, no you didn't. You didn't kill him. You couldn't have known— it's not your fault."

But his chest clenched tight and heavy at her words because he remembered how that felt, to know in his heart that he had been the cause of Sky's suicide attempt when everyone else told him it wasn't his fault. And no matter what he now told Sky, no matter his words of comfort, he knew that she had a point. Cody was dead because of what they had done— when he had kissed Sky and had sex with her on the couch that day, he had started this, and if it was Sky's fault that Cody was dead, it was his fault too. They had done this together.

I'm a murderer. I killed him.

He pushed that thought away. Too heavy, too awful. If this was his fault, he would face that guilt later, he would deal with that crap another day. His guilt could wait, his punishment. Today he had only one purpose - to help Sky - and he needed to keep his shit together to be able to do that.

"Let's get you cleaned up," he said after a short silence, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'll help you. It'll make you feel better."

She didn't answer. Her sobs were ragged, broken, painful. Her whole body was trembling under his touch, and in her clenched fist, she was gripping something—

Hawk's chest went tight with a rush of emotion as he realized she was holding the pendant Cody had given her, the one she had worn all the time when they'd been dating. It had some kind of a book quote - Hawk couldn't remember which one, he could only remember the sharp, bitter jealousy he had felt when seeing the pendant resting on Sky's skin. He had thought she had gotten rid of the thing after the breakup, but apparently not, because there it was, in her tight grip, the chain that ran through her fingers covered with thick, clotted blood.

The mix of emotions tied a knot into Hawk's throat, taking his words away. The small box that contained the phoenix pendant was burning into his skin through the pocket of his jeans. He had been planning to give that to her today— had thought she would be wearing it by now, but—

Now she was holding onto Cody's gift like her life depended on it, and all the plans Hawk had had for this day were burnt to ashes.

He couldn't give her the pendant now. She wouldn't accept it. She probably wouldn't even want to date him after today—

Sky had said she had never been in love with Cody— that it had been a mistake to date him, but now— she was crying like someone had ripped her heart out of her chest, and Hawk felt like he would be sick.

Did she still love him? Did she regret choosing Hawk now, now that Cody was dead and she couldn't change her mind anymore?

Disgusted by his jealousy, Hawk swallowed those thoughts and locked them up, never, ever to be brought back into the daylight again. Nicholas had said this wasn't the time for his this, and he was right. Sky needed him, needed him to be strong for her, and he wasn't going to let her down. Not now when it meant the most.

"Let me help you," he rasped, drawing his eyes away from her clenched fist and that damn pendant. "You— you want something to drink? I can get you water—"

She shook her head and buried her face against the pillow. The only sounds that left her lips were the broken sobs, the sounds of her heart breaking, and God— how Hawk hated himself for causing this, for beating Cody up, for having sex with Sky when she was still dating him— his fault, this was his fault, and Sky was the one paying the price. But he also hated Cody— now even more than when he'd been alive because Cody had known about Sky's trauma, he had known that Sky had seen her best friend being shot, he had known what she had been through, and still, he had done what he did and it was his fault that Sky was now in pain, that Sky was crying her heart out covered in his blood.

Hawk felt his lower lip trembling, and something was burning at the back of his throat. Tears. Burning, salty tears that tasted like the Ocean— and he hated them too. Boys didn't cry. He needed to be strong, for Sky, he couldn't fall apart like this—

But this was Valentine's Day, and he had thought it would be the happiest day of his life. He had thought that by now he'd be making out with Sky in the basement, but now that was never happening, never, because Cody was dead and Hawk knew he would haunt them forever. His ghost would always be there, between him and Sky, ruining everything, turning even the sweetest moment sour.

His grip on her shoulder grew tight. He couldn't help the tears that fell to his cheeks, the groan that left his lips as he tried to swallow them.

His trembling hand was running slow circles on her shoulder blades, and he didn't dare to let it stop. "I'm here— what can I do? Please, Sky— talk to me. How can I help?"

Sky's body turned tense, her sobs grew harder, and for a moment Hawk thought that she would shove him away, that she would tell him to leave, but—

She pushed herself up and threw herself at him, her trembling arms around his neck. Hawk, completely unprepared for this, let out a surprised gasp, but then his arms circled her body and he pulled her near, into her lap. Her thighs found their place on both sides of his hips as he accustomed his position on the bed, leaning his back against the headrest— and her scent was all over him, the salt of her tears, the iron of the blood that covered her, and underneath all that, the scent of vanilla and strawberries, and girl, so warm, so lovely— and he breathed it in, breathed, breathed, breathed until she filled his lungs completely, so that his very soul was full of her.

"It's okay," he murmured into her hair, his hand cupping the back of her head. "It's okay, I'm here. I'm here—"

She was crying even harder than before, as if only now in his arms she permitted herself to fall apart. Her body was tense, her breathing was strained, wet, just gasps and sobs between the bursts of tears.

"Everyone— I lo– love dies—" She cried, burying her face against his shoulder. "Every— everyone—"

Hawk's chest ached. Loved. Everyone she loved, she had said. Kat, and Luke, and now Cody—

"No, Sky, no—" he breathed, his lips brushing her hair. "No one else is gonna die. No one. Your dad isn't dying. Nor me. Or your friends— no one's gonna die, okay? No one."

"You— you can't kn— know that—"

"I know it. I promise. No one's going to die. I won't let them."

He meant every word, and let that show. He would protect her, no matter what it took. He would be the wall between her and the whole fucking universe, and he would rip the world apart if it tried to take away one more person from Sky.

Her body turned softer, strengthless in his arms, but her tears kept flowing, and he held her in his arms. Her tears soaked through his shirt as she rested her face against his shoulder, her breathing was hot and wet, the sound of it uneven and gurgling. He had no idea how much time passed, it could have been minutes or hours, but he didn't dare to move. His hands kept running up and down her back in soft, soothing circles and little by little he felt her breathing turning softer, finding the same rhythm with him.

When she finally spoke again, her voice was raw from the tears.

"He loved me. He— really loved me."

Her words were a dagger through his heart, but he didn't let it show. His hands were slow on her back, his voice was kind.

"I know."

"He loved me— And he— he died. He thought— that I— that I didn't care—"

"It's not your fault," Hawk rasped, running his fingers through her hair that was clotted and glued to her scalp with half-dried blood. "You can't blame yourself."

Her sobs broke through her chest as she pressed her face harder against his shoulder.

"He di— died— alone—" she whimpered, her voice hollow, hopeless, broken. "Alone! I sho— should've been there—"

Her words made him unwrap his arms from around her body and bring a gentle hand to cup her face, to tilt it up so he could see her.

"Alone—? So you didn't see the—"

She swallowed, her lips trembled.

"I— heard. The— the gunshot," her voice was barely audible, nothing more than broken sobs and gasps. "I was– in the stairs— too late. Too slow. My fault—"

"Not your fault. You hear me? It was not your fault, Sky."

He could see now how it had happened. Sky in the stairs, trying to get to Cody, and then the gunshot—

She must have found him right after it had happened. And based on the amount of blood on her—

God. She must have tried to help him. To save him. Hawk's stomach turned - suddenly the smell of blood was too thick, too heavy. He had to swallow hard to keep the bitter bile down, and he pulled Sky back against his chest to hide his emotion. The hand he ran through her hair was shaky, there was a hole in his chest.

"He loved me," she sobbed, her endless tears soaking his T-shirt. "He loved me— and I— I killed him—"

"I'm sorry," he breathed, the only words he had. He held her close, tight, tight, tight against his body as if he could so shelter her from the world, this awful, unjust world that just kept taking things away. "I'm sorry. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"You– you should. Go. Le– leave me."

Hawk's heart cracked. His grip on her grew hard, desperate, he buried his face into the mass of her hair.

"I'm not leaving you."

"I— don't want— you to die too—"

"I'm not dying. And I'm not leaving you."

She cried harder but didn't push him away. Her body was soft and hot, and even in her sorrow, in her pain, she belonged here, belonged in his arms, and he would never, ever let her go again.

"You— you should leave—"

"No."

Her words were nothing more than broken, silent, breaths. "Everyone I love— everyone dies—"

"Not true. Not true, Sky. I'm not gonna die. I'm here. I love you, and I'm not leaving."

Exhausted, she melted against him, resting her tired head against his shoulder. Her sobs turned into soft hiccups, and he held her close, cradling her in his arms, not caring how much time passed. Of course, he knew that they couldn't stay like this forever, but that thought was fleeting, a passing shadow. He knew Sky needed to be bathed, her hair to be washed, that she needed to be changed into something clean and comfortable, that she needed to drink and eat and sleep. The bloody pendant needed to be freed from her iron grip.

And he knew that they had to face the world sooner or later. The world that might not yet know what had happened to Cody, but would soon find out. It would be awful. Everyone had loved Cody, and they would look for someone to blame. Hawk would need to protect Sky from that, from the people who would try to rip her apart for this—

But all that had to wait. For now, nothing existed but her tears, and they were endless. So he let her shed them against his shoulder, and he swallowed his own, held her tight against his chest while the clock on her nightstand ate time with its slow hands.

"I love you," he repeated a thousand times as the sun went down and the soft, dark shadows filled her room. "I love you. And I'm not going anywhere."

But for the rest of the night, she didn't say another word.