AN: And so our story continues. I have loved all the ideas people have had on how Adam got a hold of our sweet little Charlie. I'm also very happy that everyone is enjoying this story and also being understanding that there are some plot holes regarding how everyone's reacting so I'd like to address some of it. Hopefully as the story progresses, most of the questions will be answered, but as for why Adam and the archangels haven't put two and two together regarding Charlie looking a lot like her dad, I have three reasons:
Michael and the others haven't seen Lucifer since he fell from Heaven and back then his eyes were bright blue, not scarlet red. Adam also hasn't spoken with Lucifer beyond letters between Heaven and Hell and it usually devolves into a squabble between children, so Sera's the only one that's had direct contact with Lucifer which is pretty strained for good reasons.
None of them believe that Lucifer or Lilith can have children because of Lilith's curse. Now I know that doesn't mean Lucifer couldn't have kids with someone else, but given he fell from Heaven for her, I don't think they can imagine him sleeping with another woman.
Denial. They are all in deep heavy denial whenever they are faced with any tiny hints of it. I will get into where this denial comes from but I don't want to spoil too much.
Chapter ThreeUtterly Clueless
Adam was convinced that this was the second biggest fuck up he had ever managed to make, the first being when he had allowed Eve to talk him into biting the forbidden fruit. Everything was supposed to have been so simple and easy after all. It was just a fucking recon mission to gather intel for Sera so that the high-strung seraphim would calm down. Honestly, he didn't even know why she was so paranoid about Hell. For years now they hadn't made a move to try and overtake Heaven.
Sure there had been a few Sinners here and there that had managed to appear on Earth, creating several legends of mythical monsters that humans were slowly dismissing as nothing more than stories elders would make up to entertain the young around the fireplace. Sometimes it wasn't even a Sinner running amuck but some Hellborn beast that just happened to stumble through a rift and land in the mortal realm.
Take that Hellboar that managed to escape that one time and ran wild in the mountains, scaring the living shit out of a bunch of people. Sera had been quick to complain to Lucifer about it and what did the prick do about it? Nothing, the was what! Said it wasn't his doing and because of some old order or something from God, he couldn't deal with it. So Heaven had to bless some smock with unnatural strength, convincing him he was some demigod from Greece, and sent him to deal with the raging hog. The fuck had they called them again on Earth. Hunk-cue-something and the Eyrman-whatever boar? Fuck it, he couldn't be bothered to remember it.
The fact that the asshole had pitched a fit in Heaven when he found out he wasn't some lightning god's son but just a lucky rando had been annoying for everyone to listen to. Adam was even pretty sure the prick was still bitching about it, not understanding how lucky he was to be in Heaven given he murdered his wife and kids in a drunken rage.
Adam might not have been the best husband or father to his massive brood of offspring, but fuck, at least he never fucking killed any of them. He had been close to it with Cain, but thankfully a pleading voice of reason had stopped him from beating him to death. True, Cain had been marked by God after that as the first true Sinner, and while Adam was still angry over what he had done to Abel, Adam could forget that Cain was still his firstborn. Cain had had to play the role of guinea pig as his parents fumbled and struggled to figure out how to care for something so small and fragile. He had had to deal with a mother who had to discover how to breastfeed and swaddle and cloth him, and a father who was trying to ensure there was enough food to feed them all and keep them all safe.
And worst of all Cain had had to deal with Adam being extremely strict with him because Adam didn't know how to be a father back then.
Thinking back to then, Adam was slightly willing to admit that he and Eve made a lot of mistakes raising their kids, but it wasn't like they had been given any sort of manual on parenting back then. They didn't have any elders they could ask for help or advice from after all and the angels had been no help regarding babies so he and Eve had had to figure out everything on their own.
The fact that their kids managed to survive to have babies of their own had been a miracle in and of itself really, excluding Abel of course. If that wasn't a fucking win, then what the hell was?
Still, that didn't change the fact that Michael was right about today. It had been a huge mistake in bringing the little girl to Heaven with him without checking what she was to start with, but he couldn't really help it. It had been a reflex really, a Dad reaction if one could call it that. He could still remember it clearly as if it had happened five minutes ago and not four hours.
*** Four hours earlier ***
Adam mentally groaned as he was secretively transported to the Heavenly Embassy without alerting anyone of his presence. It hadn't been too hard to do, most of Heaven didn't know about the building and Lucifer never went there unless Sera was demanding some sort of fucking meeting to talk with the man about the Exterminations or whatever. In fact, the only reason why Sera had even asked him to go there was because the stuck-up prick wasn't answering her summons but sticking to letters as he claimed their meetings were a complete and utter waste of their time.
Which it was, but that wasn't for that self-centered prick to decide.
Still, because of Lucifer's continuous no-show to the summons, and given how fucking shifty he had seemed at their last meeting almost two years ago, Sera had started to get nervous. And a nervous Sera meant extra work for Adam, so yeah... he wasn't a happy First Man.
Using an ancient scroll that Sera had given him, Adam activated the spell, making him invisible to the Sinners and Hellborn losers of the Pride Ring. It was apparently a spell that the higher-ups used to use when they would go down to Earth and speak with mortals, though he had been warned to not let anyone touch him. He was to observe and listen only or else the spell would become unstable and break.
Well, that wasn't like it was going to be a problem, right? There weren't a lot of flying Sinners after all and since no one was expecting any angels to appear in heaven for another four months, Adam was positive he could sneak about and hear if anyone was planning some shady shit.
After three hours of listening to Sinners bitching about everyday normal shit like inflation and soul collecting, the only interesting thing Adam had heard since arriving was that apparently that nut case Bathory had completely disappeared from the public eye as an Overlord, and no one was sure why. There was a rumor that she had pissed off Hell's Queen by doing something stupid, but knowing his ex-wife's temperament, Adam was sure it was some shitty offhand comment that had landed the bitch on the even bigger bitch's shit list.
Not that it would get her off his shit list. He had a couple of girls who were Elizabeth's past victims and they certainly wanted their pound of flesh for the horrors they had had to suffer.
Still, Adam was certain that he would have learned more sitting on his ass up in Heaven eating ribs than fluttering about fucking Hell and listening to a bunch of whiny bitches. Having listened now to another loser bitch about acid rain storms was enough though to make Adam need a break. Truthfully he wanted to go home but he knew if he came back too soon Sera was going to have a hissy fit and there wasn't enough alcohol in Hell and Heaven for him to put up with one of those again.
The question however was where could he go to relax a little?
Hell wasn't exactly filled with peaceful spots and while he certainly liked women, he wasn't sure he would want to see what Hell's red light district had to offer. Hell wasn't known for having a whole lot of rules and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what turned some souls on nowadays.
Flying around for a bit, Adam was about ready to just say fuck it and teleport back to Heaven and tell Sera that fuck all was going on in Hell. There wasn't any sort of uprising in the works going on or any whispers on what the fuck was up with Lucifer and his unreliable fickle ass nor was there another about Lilith other than she was off giving some sort of concert again.
'She always did love the sound of her own fucking voice,' He grumbled as he soared a little. He was nearing the cannibal district, a place he and his girls hit pretty hard last year when he noticed it had added something surprisingly pleasant to itself since he had last seen it. 'Is that a mother fucking park?'
Adam stared in disbelief as he slowly landed in a small empty clearing, amazed to find that he was indeed standing in a well-kept and clean public park. It wasn't as lush or colorful as the parks in Heaven were, but for being in Hell it was damn near fucking impressive that they somehow managed to make an area filled with green grass and a tree that didn't look like they were part of some drug-induced nightmare. It sort of reminded him of some of the pictures of parks some of the Winners had drawn or shown of her mortal lives on Earth.
If you ignored the local folks munching down on Sinner limbs that was.
Still, it was a quiet place, free of screams and murder and it allowed Adam to rest his wings a bit as he walked around a little and mildly admired that they had somehow managed to grow roses in Hell. There were even some animals hopping about though Adam didn't dare go near any of them as they reminded him of fucked up Earth versions of familiar creatures. Like the little green birds that looked like flowers and the red ducks.
'The fuck did you make Lucifer?' Adam thought in horror as he watched a small waddling nightmare fowl viciously attack a Sinner child who had pegged one with a rock. Sure the brat deserved it but fuck did those bastards have teeth?! 'I thought you liked ducks, what the ever-loving fuck man!'
After that, Adam was certain of two things. One, he was going to have the girls keep their destruction of the park to a minimum because despite it being Hell it was a pretty nice place, and two, he was never going to mess with the local wildlife. That shit was just too insane looking.
As Adam continued his light tour of the park, taking in the surprisingly tranquil site when it happened.
At first, Adam wasn't sure what he was looking at exactly. The figure was tiny after all, barely reaching halfway up his shin and dressed in a bright yellow dress with a white pinafore, soft puffy golden hair, and a pair of rosy red cheeks that puffed every time she sucked on the matching yellow pacifier in her mouth. But what caught Adam's attention was how oddly familiar she looked. He wasn't sure where he had seen her before, maybe in passing on the main street of the lower levels of Heaven? She certainly didn't look like any Sinner he had ever seen nor any Hellborn either. Maybe some idiot had lost her from the Nursery and the poor thing had somehow gotten herself lost down in Hell.
It had happened before after all, though the soul had been older and it was Earth that they had gotten stuck on, if Adam was remembering correctly. But hey, if a soul could accidentally end up on Earth, who was to say a baby like her couldn't have gotten turned around and ended up in Hell by mistake? And... was it just him or was she looking right at him? No. No Adam was certain it was just coincidence, that there was something else behind him that had grabbed the baby's attention.
Adam was mentally debating if he should call Sera via a messenger dove when suddenly a Sinner came rushing out from behind some bushes. From the looks of it, it was a young woman, maybe some twenty-five years of age, and dressed in a charcoal gray skirt and coat with a matching canotier hat pinned firmly in her chestnut brown hair. In an instant, Adam knew what kind of Sinner she was, given her razor-sharp shark-like smile and bottomless voids of black instead of eyes. Cannibal Sinners always seemed to share that trait for some reason along with ashy gray skin.
They did tend to dress nicely though for some reason, something Adam was sure they did to trick others into thinking they were civil.
"There you are!" The Sinner called out, a manic smile stretching across her face as she immediately saw the baby sitting alone on the grass. "Cheeky little girl. I've got you now!"
Adam felt his blood freeze in his veins. Had he just heard this Sinner right? He stared as the baby gave a loud cry of fear as she turned quickly to try and crawl away, her tiny limbs too short to give her a fighting chance against the fully grown Sinner who was quickly making her way towards her.
"I'd got you now, Little Miss," The Sinner chuckled as her manic grin grew, her clammy hands reaching out towards the infant who shrieked in terror. "I'm going to eat you-"
Before Adam knew what he was doing, he found himself standing between the baby and Sinner, his war ax already in hand and covered with hot red blood. He watched as the Sinner lay confused on the ground, clutching the deep cut across her chest as she coughed up a little blood in surprise. AS his invisibility spell started to flicker and die, Adam turned quickly to pick the baby up when something large and angry barreled into his back knocking him back.
Stunned but not down, Adam growled as he turned to see what he could only describe as a huge ass hound with nasty-looking teeth snarling at him. Its fur was short, with a black shine to the tiger-like black and brown coat, and the ears were equally short making them almost disappear as they were pinned against the mutt's head. It took Adam a minute to realize it was a Hellhound, having rarely ever crossed paths with one.
The hound growled loud and threateningly at him as the baby started to wail, the fight having frightened her. Apparently, it was all the beast needed to draw its attention away from Adam, the red and white irises snapping from Adam to the babe before the animal turned and started to open its maw towards the crying girl.
For a second Adam felt himself falling back in time. Back when Eve was expecting their twelfth or thirteenth child, he had taken the others out to find food. He had told Seth to teach his brothers how to fish while he showed the girls which berries were safe to eat and which weren't. He couldn't remember which one of his daughters it had been if it had been Awan or Aclima or Qelima, but one of them had wandered off too far and encountered a wolf. Adam could still hear the cries of his terrified daughters calling for help and see the white sharp teeth of
the monster as it tried to maul one of his little girls. He remembered rushing in with a roar of rage distracting the dumb animal with his battle cry as his wood speak was firmly gripped in his hands before he plunged it into its chest...
Adam didn't even hesitate as he rushed to grab his holy ax, the beast still solely focused on the crying infant who was trying to crawl away. He could see its teeth slowly closing in on her, imagine the pearling white fangs soon painted with blood as they moved to close around her neck.
"FUCK OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Adam roared as he kicked the animal away, the beast screaming in pain as the ax severed its right paw from its arm.
Blood splattered the ground around them as a few specks fell onto the baby. The hound snarled and readied to charge again only for Adam to swing his ax again and cut the Achilles tendons on its hind legs. The Hellhound let out a cry of pain as he dropped to the drop, a pitiful dog-like yelp and whimper flooding out of his mouth. Adam sneered at the two monsters, disappointed at how easy they were to defeat before his attention returned to the wailing child. He needed to act fast after all. Her cries and his fight, short as it was had certainly drawn the attention of anyone within a few miles radius.
"Hey, it's okay sweetie," Adam tried his best to try and calm the baby, wincing as she shied away from him. "Hey, it's okay. I'm one of the good guys."
Adam started to take a step towards her when something tugged on his robe. Snarling, Adam turned to look in disgust at the female Sinner who was using all her strength to hold on to him, an angry but pained scowl on her face.
"Don't... touch... her..." The Sinner gasped weakly, her grip slowly weakening by the second. Adam didn't even have to kick her to get her to let go, a hard yank was enough to tear himself free, even if it tore his robe a little. That was fine though, he had gotten their disgusting Sinner's blood on it so he was going to burn it once he got back to Heaven. "S... someone... stop..."
"I don't have time for this," Adam growled as he could hear the voices of other Sinners coming closer. Hurrying over, he scooped the wailing infant up, covering her safely away in his robe's sleeves, and summoned a portal back to Heaven. "It's okay, poppet. You're safe now. Let's get you home."
*** Current time ***
Adam groaned as he thought about it. In honestly he should have looked closer at the baby and properly thought about it. Infant and young Winners were often closely watched by the caretakers of Heaven, be it Cherubs or Winners who had gotten work as them. They were always ready to accept them when they came to Heaven's Gate and would watch them closely to make sure they didn't get lost. There was no way a baby could have accidentally fallen into Hell when so many were ready to receive them.
But no, it took the baby becoming frightened by him grabbing her and teleporting her away for him to realize she wasn't Heaven-born as her tantrum manifested a devil's tail and two tiny bumps on her head for Adam to realize the truth.
As if her fucking eyes didn't give her away from the get-go.
But now he had a problem, and one he wasn't sure he wanted Sera to know about. This was after all not Hell's fault. Fuck, he couldn't even blame it on Lucifer since he had been nowhere near the slimy-skiving bastard. No, this whole mastery of fucked up fuckery was entirely his own fault.
... and Sera's.
If she hadn't told him to sneak down and investigate Hell and what Lucifer was up to, he wouldn't have gotten bored. And if he hadn't gotten bored, he wouldn't have gone to the park and stumbled onto the baby and mistaken the baby for a lost Winner. And then he wouldn't have attacked the Sinner and Hellborn, though he would argue the Hellborn was in self-defense, and then they wouldn't be risking this turning into a fucking possibly Holy War.
On second thought no, this was entirely Sera's fault. She should have known that Hellborns would be around in Pride when Angels were out of season and with them their brats. What had she expected would happen?!
Not that he was brave enough to tell her that just yet.
Adam had gone to speak with Sera like Michael had ordered but unfortunately, or fortunately depending on who you asked, Sera was currently in some meeting and didn't have time for Adam's report just yet. That meant he'd have a bit of time to maybe figure out a different way of getting back to Hell and...
… and what exactly? Ditching the kid in some random place and hoping for the best didn't sit right with him, even if the baby was a Hellborn.
'Maybe we're gonna have to get a hold of that wife-stealing fucker after all,' Adam growled as he head back to his room to maybe get an hour's rest. Maybe with some sleep, he'd be able to think things through better and- "What the... oh you have got to be fucking kidding me!"
* * * Hazbin Hotel * * *
As Philomena ran about panicking and debating on whether or not she should summon some Cherubs to help them look or not, Gabriel was silently listing every prayer he knew that they would find the little one fast. How she had escaped his office he wasn't sure, they had barricaded her behind a wall of chairs, small tables, and books after all. That was how mortal contained children, didn't they? They would tell them where they could be and they would stay, right? Right?!
Oh who was he kidding, he himself had been a habitual wonder when young as had Azrael been too. And if he thought about Samael... well he had pushed Sera to nearly pull out her hair from stress with his constant wondering about and it didn't stop when he got older.
After all, it was his curiosity that had gotten him banished after all.
Now he suddenly understood why Sera was panicking so often whenever she lost sight of them.
"Is she under your desk?" Philomena asked as peeked behind some of the many stacks of books they had set about the room. "Little baby~. Where are you~? Please come out."
"No, she's not there," Gabriel answered, quickly taking flight to look up on top of the empty shelves. "She's not up here either!"
"Why would she be up on the shelves?" Philomena hissed, her chestnut hair slowly starting to frazzle from all of the stress. "Gabriel, it's a baby, not a bird! She can't fly."
"How was I supposed to know that?" Gabriel cried back. "I don't know what babies can do. For all I know she could have gotten up and waltz out the..."
They both paused in their frantic searching, eyes slowly drifting over to a door that was in fact, standing open just a jar. It wasn't very big, but if they thought about it, it certainly was wide enough for something small to squeeze through without being noticed. Something like...
"You don't think..." Gabriel muttered nervously, his wings rustling with unease as Philomena started to look sickly pale.
"That she..." Mena mirrored his thoughts as her eyes widened with fear.
"The door!" They both yelled at the same time and scrambled to race outside the office, hoping to find the baby sitting just outside.
Only to find nothing. Just an empty white hall that was as silent as the grave.
Gabriel could feel his panic setting in as he hurried down the hallway heading back towards Michael's office, his wings beating as fast as they possibly could. This was bad. He knew it was. They needed to find the child before someone else happened to stumble upon her and bring her to the Nursery or worse, would freak out and make everyone aware that a demon had gotten into Heaven. Someone could end up hurting her and then what? If she got hurt then there was a cause for Hell to maybe-
Turning a corner fast, Gabriel only managed to see the crouching Adam two seconds before his foot clipped the First Man's back. Both men gave a yell of surprise and pain as they went tumbling down the hall, Adam falling maybe a foot or two away from where he had been standing and Gabriel about halfway down the hallway, landing in a mess of feathers, wings, and limbs.
"What the fuck Gab?! Can't you watch where you're flying?" Adam growled, rubbing the spot where Gabriel's foot had connected with him. "Thank frick I'm already dead 'cause I'm pretty sure you would have broken my back with that hit."
Gabriel lay dazed for a moment, his mind utterly scrambled from the tumble. He hadn't crashed like that since the day he had learned how to fly. And that had been a pretty bad one where he had taken Ariel with him and almost broken a wing. Sera had been in a full-blown panic after that and lectured him constantly for flying too fast, not that it stopped him. He had loved the speed and feel of the wind in his hair and feathers.
And after Zadkiel was born, Sera finally gave up telling him to slow down.
"Adam! Sorry buddy. Didn't see you there," Gabriel struggled helplessly as he tried to untangle himself from the many limbs, floundering about on the pristine floors. "We have a problem. We-"
"Lost the kid?" Adam muttered, a loud crack echoing through the hallway as he popped his back. Adam let out a tiny groan of relief as the pain in his back lessened a little. "I know. Don't worry about it."
"'Don't worry about it'? What do you mean 'don't worry about it'?! If someone discovers we have a Hellborn here..." Gabriel struggled not to yell as he finally managed to get his wings free from his long legs and slowly got to his feet when it occurred to him what Adam had said. "Wait... what do you mean with that you know?"
Huffing in irritation, Adam pointed towards Michael's office door. There, with wide innocent doe-like eyes, sat the missing infant watching them curiously with her thumb in her mouth. Gabriel gaped as he realized that either the baby was a lot faster at crawling than he thought or both he and Philomena had embarrassingly been too distracted cleaning to notice the baby had escaped.
And judging by how she calmly turned her attention back to the door and calmly patted her way over to it, it was the lather.
"Oh thank Father," Gabriel sighed in relief that not only was the baby found but she also appeared unharmed. Stepping over, Gabriel gently picked the tiny creature up, dismissing her whine as she reached for the door. "How did you get out here, Little One? We told you to stay in the pen."
* * * Hazbin Hotel * * *
Michael could feel a migraine slowly rearing its ugly head as he tried to focus on his paperwork. Despite having passed the infant over to Gabriel and Philomena, Michael couldn't stop thinking about the little girl. There was just something about her that felt hauntingly familiar but he just couldn't place it. It kept twisting and turning in his mind, a tiny voice whispering somewhere in the recesses of his mind but it was too weak for him to put a finger on what it was. The girl and what she was reminding him of was a complete conundrum for him.
And as a soldier and his father's second in command, Michael didn't like mysteries.
He was debating summoning Gabriel and Mena again after spending an hour struggling to focus on his work only to discover he had reread the first three sentences of the report over and over without retaining any information at all. He simply couldn't focus on the document before him despite every attempt he was making. Instead, he was feeling some unknown pull towards the child, a strange and unfamiliar want to be around her and figure out who she was.
That or he needed to switch to herbal teas like Azrael had a millennia ago to help calm his nerves.
Honestly, the poor angel had probably the worst job out of all of them, filled not only with endless paperwork but also having to shepherd any lost or reluctant souls up to Saint Peter to be evaluated.
Michael was about to take a large gulp of coffee, having already drunk enough cups to give him three heart attacks if he was mortal when a sudden yell of pain made him jump in surprise and spill the long-since-turned-cold drink all over his desk and the documents.
"Son of a-!"
Michael growled as his temper flared, his multiple eyes opening across his body as his halo flashed a brilliant bright hot light before he managed to rein his temper back in with a deep controlled breath. He needed to keep calm at all times after all, and not throw unnecessary temper tantrums. He was a soldier after all and currently the one entrusted to act as his Father's retainer while he was gone.
With a quick once over to ensure he still looked presentable, Michael walked briskly over to the door and flung it open with an almost dramatic flare. He had hoped whatever the ruckus was outside his door would be able to distract him long enough to reset and focus his mind so that he could continue his work. That the noise had been caused by some Cherubs that had collided while delivering documents or some younger Heaven-born or Winners had accidentally ventured into the upper levels of Heaven because of the novelty that the area was off-limits for most.
Instead, he came face to face with a disgruntled Adam and shocked Gabriel holding the very cause of his distracted mind. Scarlet eyes immediately locked on to him and a squeal of joy erupted from the baby as she held her arms out towards him as a string of baby babbled poured out of the tiny thing like a waterfall.
"What is going on out here?" Michael groaned as Gabriel readjusted his hold on the baby. "I thought I told you and Philomena to take care of the child. And Adam, what are you doing back so soon? Did you report to Sera regarding this?"
Both men seemed to freeze the moment Michael's leveled blue eyes landed on them, as if they were hoping that somehow by standing still, the archangel suddenly wouldn't be able to detectment. Never mind the rambling infant who seemed eager to reach him of course, she was supposed to be invisible by default when they stood still. Neither one of the men seemed to want to say anything and as Michael could feel his patients slowly dwindle like sand in an hourglass, the little girl's distress seemed to grow as her unknown demands weren't met.
"Well?" Michael demanded just as Philomena came rushing down the hall, her face panic-stricken.
"I couldn't find her in the south wing. Did you... oh," She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw the infant in Adam's arms and quickly snatched her away from the First Man with a little more force than was necessary as if he was going to hurt her. Looking down at the infant who was still trying to reach for Michael, Philomena held her firmly in one arm before tapping a firm finger on the little black nose. "Bad baby. You were supposed to stay where we put you."
However, all Mena was met with were blank scarlet eyes and a small growl as the finger was batted away. The baby clearly didn't like being forced to look at her cross eyes nor did she like it that no one understood where she wanted to go. A slowly growing whine started to fill the air as the little Hellborn started to squirm in Mena's hold, forcing the young-looking Saint to hold the baby under her armpits in the air.
Adam stared in horror as Philomena held the baby like she was either a half-feral cat she was expecting to scratch her face off, or a like a bag of half-rotten potatoes. He wanted to correct her, tell her she was holding the baby all wrong and most likely hurting her as all of the little girl's weight was being forced onto her shoulders, but he knew if he said anything right now Mena would just snap at him in anger. And he wasn't really interested in getting bitched at for an hour by some forever teenager.
Michael was about to demand an explanation as he felt his head begin to throb more and more. The migraine was getting worse by every passing minute and the stress wasn't helping in the least. The fact that the little one was now getting upset and starting to manifest her demonic sides wasn't helping either. And while Michael had wanted to summon them because of the child, now that she was in front of him, he wasn't sure what to do with her either. Michael had never been around children for very long with the exception of Samael, which was eons ago. It was practically another life since it had been so long.
But whatever his plan had been, Michael didn't have time to consider it. The whole group froze as they suddenly heard the distant echoes of someone walking down the halls, heading in their direction. The voices sounded young, cherubs most likely if Michael was to guess. They were probably heading to Philomena's office to drop off some reports or request forms for her to overlook. Her department was always under strain as aids were in short demand.
And here they were. In a hallway. Loitering around like hapless fools. With a slowly angry Hellborn infant.
"My office. Now!" Michael snapped as they all rushed in. Gabriel only managed to close the door a second or two before the cherubs could turn the corner.
* * * Hazbin Hotel * * *
Everyone stood in Michael's office holding their breath despite not needing to. The tension was so palpable that it made Gabriel feel like he had flown sixty loop de loops in a row before spinning around nonstop. Even Mena's olive skin looked ashen as she held the baby tight, praying that she would through a tantrum and start yelling. She certainly was growling, growing more and more impatient as the Saint held her awkwardly in her arms, trying to bounce her to stay calm.
The baby though, didn't seem to like how Philomena was bouncing her. The moment was too rough, too fast to be comfortable, making the little Hellborn feel like she was being jerked about up and down rather than trying to soothe her. So instead of calming her, the baby was growing more and more fussy.
And while Mena was desperately trying to keep the little one calm, Michael was pressed against his door with Gabriel, listening to hear if the cherubs had left yet or not.
It was a weird sense of deja vu it gave Michael. He could remember many a time when he and Samael would do the same, especially against Father's workshop or the meeting room while the others discussed ideas for Eden. Back then they were still seen as too young to part take in its creation, their only contribution having been the duck Lucifer had made and Michael had named. He could still remember how hurt Samael had been when they had been turned away from joining the others.
*** Flashback ***
"Why can't we come too?" Samael protested, stomping his foot in anger as Jophiel gently pushed both him and Michael out of the meeting room with a firm look. He was six centuries old now, but because of his small size, Samael looked like he was closer to three if not four centuries of age."Jojo! We want to help with Father's project too!"
"This isn't a game, Samael. We aren't going in to play around," She lightly scolded him, as she pushed her golden blond hair away from her eyes. She had always been very proud of her hair which was made up of small tight curls. If she allowed it to do as it pleased, it would poof out around her like a massive sphere which Samael had once compared to the sun. Today though because they were working, she had meticulously braided it into a Greek-inspired updo with a headband while she was dressed in a white robe gown. "I don't have time for games. None of us do. Oh, where is Sera?Sera!"
"We know that!" Samael protested, trying to squeeze around her only for Jophiel to huff in irritation as she struggled to keep him at bay. Inside the room, Michael and Samael could see the others slowly sorting out massive piles of scrolls, each talking in fast hushed tones in Celestial while Uriel jotted down notes and kept a record of who said what. "Jojo, please! You said you're all talking about ideas right? Mikey and I have lots of them!"
"We do," Michael nodded eagerly though he wasn't fighting as much as Samael was. "We even wrote them down and drew some of them. Like I made this little creature, right? And it's all fuzzy and black and yellow and-"
"And I made an animal that can eat wood!" Samael growled as he tried to pull his hand free from Jophiel's grasp.
"Samael stop it! Sera! For goodness sake where is that girl?" Jophiel huffed just as Samael's hand slipped out of her grasp. "Samael!"
Sammy gave a small cheer of victory as he hurried towards the door only to yell in frustration as Gabriel waltzed right in front of him and scooped him up into his arms to stop him. The little angel howled at the injustice of being foiled but Gabriel paid him no mind since it wasn't the first time Sammy was throwing a tantrum over not getting his way.
"We said no, Samael. This is an important meeting, not a play date," He told him as he carried the little one out of the room and set him down. Samael tried to squeeze past both Jophiel and Gabriel but the pair were ready for him and grabbed him quickly while using their wings to block his path. "Samael."
"But we can help too!" Samael growled in frustration. He had been so excited when he had heard that Father had called another meeting regarding something with Eden. He had been so busy as of late that they rarely saw him and when they did, it was only in passing. The last time they had actually spoken properly with him had been when they snuck into his workshop. "IT'S NOT FAIR! I WANNA HELP-!"
"ENOUGH!" It was Uriel's stern voice that made Samael freeze in their hold, stopping his tantrum almost immediately. Letting go of his arms, Gabriel and Jophiel stepped to the sides, giving their eldest brother the space he needed to address the youngest of the family. Kneeling down, Uriel took Samael's hands firmly in his own, his expression unusually stern as he started to scold. "Samael you were told no. Neither Michael nor you are old enough to part take in these meetings. When you are older you can join us but for now, this is our duty while yours are to focus on your lessons."
"But-!" Samael protested.
"Samael, enough," Uriel stated firmly, doing his best to ignore the tears that were forming in the brilliant blue eyes. "This meeting is going to be long and boring. It's going to require all of us to wait and listen to each other for a very long time while Father discusses different ideas and makes different decisions. That is our duty. You and Michael aren't old enough to part take in it. Your duties are to go with Sera and complete your lessons."
"But Zeze and Zady get to go. Why can't we?" Samael whimpered. He didn't want to be left out. Both he and Michael had heard the others talking about how this project Father was starting was important and that he had asked them all to part take in its design. Everyone but them. "Please, Urie. I wanna help too."
Sighing, Uriel picked Samael up as he started to cry, his middle wings wrapping around him in a comforting hug while one of his lower wings pulled Michael into a hug as well. He was thankful that Michael was starting to grow out of his tendency to burst into tears but Samael had seemed to pick up the habit whenever he felt he was being treated unfairly. It wasn't often but whenever they were summoned to these meetings...
'He's probably just lonely,' Uriel thought as he rubbed the little one's back, mentally noting that the height difference between the twins was starting to become more and more obvious. Michael had always been the taller one of the pair, but now as six, Michael was starting to reach past his waist in height where Samael was barely reaching it. 'We've all been pretty busy as of late so it's just them and Sera. Maybe I should ask Father for a day where we all can spend some time together and play.'
"Samael. Michael. There you are," Sera's voice called as she came rushing over to them. She had been prepping for their lessons when the twins had run off on her again. It was getting harder to keep an eye on the two now that they weren't bound to the Aviary so much. "I've been looking everywhere for you two. Come on now. We have a lot to learn about today."
"Please Urie... I wanna help too," Samael pleaded into Uriel's shoulder as he hugged him tighter. Michael could feel himself torn between pleading too and following Sera who held out her hands for them to take. They had always been told that they should listen to what their older siblings told them and Uriel was the oldest. "Please?"
"Sammy," Uriel's voice was a soft murmur against his smallest sibling's hair as he placed a soft kiss on his crown. Removing his hand for a second to gently urge Michael to go to Sera, Uriel gently guided Samael to look at him. "Listen. We aren't creating anything yet. We're not even sure if Father will. It's all up for discussion right now. Talking. Lots and lots of talking understand? You'll be bored."
"But I have ideas too," Samael whined as he rubbed his eyes a little, trying to get rid of the tears. "Why can't we come too?"
"When you're older, I promise. Now go with Sera. I promise when the meeting is over, you and I can spend some time together. Maybe practice flying or magic, hm?" He hoped the promise might placate the upset child if only a little. They had all learned rather early on that Samael could be stubborn when he got an idea into his head. Sadly this seemed to be one of those times. "Be good for Sera Sammy, okay?"
"Noooo!" Samael whined as Uriel begrudgingly passed Samael over to Sera's waiting arms, the seraphim giving him a slightly smug look as she firmly tucked Samael against her chest and gently patted his head to rest on her shoulder. "Urei~!"
"Hush little one. None of that now. We all have our duties that we must fulfill," Sera gently chided him, her hand patting his back softly. She didn't need to voice her thoughts to Uriel, the oldest of the siblings knowing how she felt about him giving in to Samael's whims. Instead, she gave a soft bow to them and smiled at Michael who looked torn between them all. "Come along Michael. We mustn't take up any more of your brothers and sisters's time. You and Samael need to practice your reading more as well as magic."
"We'll see you later Sammy and Mikey. Promise." Jophiel called after them, giving a tentative wave to the twins as both looked forlorn as Sera walked away with them.
"Yeah, you just wait and see," Gabriel did his best to try and bring a smile back on Samael's face. "We can even go flying later if you want. We'll be done before you know it."
*** End of Flashback ***
Except that didn't happen if Michael recalled correctly. The lessons with Sera had been laborious even for Michael, and Samael had broken down completely after the sixth time Sera had scolded him for his lack of attention. Michael had tried to help Samael a little, even trying to remind Sera that Samael needed a break and that he wanted one too, but Sera had just argued that Samael needed to focus. Her tune changed though when he finally broke down completely, howling in frustration and bursting into tears. Her tone suddenly turned gentle and comforting as she gathered Samael up in her arms and told Michael to take a break while she dealt with Sammy.
And when Michael came back, he found an angry Uriel glaring at an assertive Sera telling him that he and Gabriel couldn't take Samael with them because he was taking a nap. He could remember that he had thought it odd too at the time since Samael was six centuries old and didn't need to sleep during the day anymore like himself, but Sera had argued that his tantrum had exhausted him, not to mention he was smaller so he needed more rest to grow.
And Michael, like the good little brother he was, didn't question Sera's wisdom. She had after all taken care of them all from when they were little.
"I think they've left," Gabriel sighed in relief as he peaked out the door to be sure. "Yeah, they just dropped off some stuff in your office Mena, and left. Thank Father for small favors."
They all let out a collective sigh of relief. The last thing any of them needed was more people in Heaven knowing about the little girl. The crisis was averted.
Only for a new one to appear as the little girl let out a loud and angry scream.
Almost instantly, everyone except Philomena covered their ears in pain.
Gabriel winced as he stared at the wailing child in Philomena's hands. He couldn't recall any of his siblings ever reacting like this. Not even Michael who had been a crybaby in his youth. Philomena quickly took the girl and tried hushing her, but it only seemed to upset the babe more as large tears rolled down her cheek and her face slowly started to turn red.
"For fuck sake, shut her up already!" Adam yelled. He was starting to reach his limit with Philomena's incompetence as she desperately bounced the child to see if she would calm down. "And for fuck sake stop shaking her! It's a baby, not a sistrum!"
"I don't know how, okay?!" Philomena barked back at him, surprising all three men as she flushed in embarrassment. "The new souls aren't like this!"
"What?!" Adam couldn't believe what he was hearing. There was no way that he heard her right? She was the Patron Saint of infants and youths for fuck sake!
"Oh, please stop!" Philomena pleaded as the infant wailed louder, her demonic form manifesting as Mena's voice started to rise in a panicked yell. "What do you want me to do? Why can't you just tell me?"
"Bitch, are you serious?" Adam gaped before he walked over and immediately snatched the toddler from the girl's arms, holding the tot firmly under her arms but still holding her by her body so the limbs weren't carrying her weight. "Give it here. Let's see..." He twisted the kid for a second and sniffed her rear a couple of times, making the three on-lookers give him a puzzled expression. "Nope, that's not it. So then it's probably..."
He shifted the babe to the crook of one arm, his hand firmly tucked around her rear to keep her from squirming free. Then with a snap of his fingers, Adam called forth a water skin with a feeding nipple on. He took a quick sip from it, seemed to test it for... something, and then promptly spat it out on the floor. Michael growled in disgust. This was his office after all and Adam knew that they liked to keep Heaven clean.
"Heat it, but not too much. Like luge warm, got it?" He demanded, holding the skin out to Michael with a bored expression. When the angel just stared at it, Adam impatiently shook the bag in front of him. "Fuck man, will you just heat it?! The sooner it's warm the sooner she'll probably shut the fuck up."
"What is it?" Michael asked as he allowed Heaven's flame to the skin, heating it quickly like lightly.
"Milk, dumbass. What did you think it was?" Adam muttered as he tested a droplet on his wrist and then quickly popped the opening into the wailing infant's mouth. She gave a muffled cry of anger for a moment before the milk hit her tongue. The little one's eyes opened wide as she recognized the taste and instantly latched on, drinking hard and fast. "Wow there, slow down. It's not going anywhere."
Silence filled the room as Adam proceeded to hold the skin up for the baby to drink. Adam tried for a few minutes to focus on the task at hand, gently bouncing the child in his arms as he weaved from foot to foot. As her suckling went from a rapid to a more moderate pace, he felt his cheeks flare at the intense stare of three sets of eyes.
"What?" He finally demanded.
"Nothing," Gabriel answered. "nothing, Adam. It's just..."
"Just what?" The first man growled, his hand gently squeezing the skin as he tested how much was left. About half of it was gone already so he lifted it a bit higher.
"How did you know?" Michael asked, his eyes fixed on the girl. She was starting to turn a normal color again. Well, normal for what he thought was for her. "How did you know she was hungry?"
"Because she didn't smell of shit," Adam deadpanned. The skin was nearly empty now and he could see the baby's eyes slowly start to close. Lifting her up and over his shoulder, Adam started patting her back firmly in a steady rhythm. "Don't puke on me, got it?"
Philomena watched in awe as Adam stubbornly kept burping the baby and was surprised when he insisted on continuing when she did. Three more burps followed the first before Adam seemed satisfied and moved the kid down so he could see her face. The baby looked calmer now, the large owl-like eyes starting to struggle to stay open.
"Good shit huh?" He grinned before he moved her to the crooks of his arms, gently rocking her to sleep. She had barely drifted off when he felt the stares on him again. "Fuck, just say it already."
"How did you do that?" Philomena demanded, her voice making the baby jerk a little. Adam glared at her as he tucked the kid closer, hiding her face ever so slightly into his chest, his expression telling her to watch it with the loud noises. "Sorry. But seriously how did you do that?"
"What? Calm her down? Easy," Adam stated. "you just go through the checklist." He was met with blank stares. "The checklist... you know? Fuck man, you can't be serious, the list!"
"What list?" Michael asked. There was a list to children? He didn't know this.
"Fucking-! The list! You know; diaper, food, or sleep? Did you all seriously fucking forget I fathered like... twenty-eight kids? Father of the whole human race right here, morons," Adam gave them an incredulous look. "How do you fuckers not know this shit?"
"I was martyred as a thirteen-year-old virgin during the Roman Empire," Philomena muttered. "And new souls are just orbs of light that I help form before sending them to Earth. And you know that cherubs are born fully grown and mature."
"And we haven't had younger siblings since Sa-" Gabriel started to say but fell short. The subject of their brother was a touchy one, especially for Michael. "Since God allowed the last clutch to hatch."
"What do you mean?" Philomena asked only to hear Michael reply.
"He means since I and Samael hatched," rising from his seat, Michael walked over to Adam and observed the infant in his arms. She was starting to drift off, but when she saw him, the toddler reached her arms out for him. "Tell me... what is she doing now?"
"Telling me to pass her the fuck on," Adam smirked as he suddenly pass the kid over to a very surprised Michael. With the expertise of a man well-versed in babies, Adam helped position Michael's hands so that he was holding a child and not an oversized cantaloupe. "There, perfect napping spot. Fuck it's been a while."
"Wait what are you-?"
"Look at that, you're a fucking natural," Adam laughed softly as the little girl curled into Michael's chest, her tiny hand latching onto his shirt while she sucked her thumb. "We're gonna need to get her a sucker so she doesn't wreck her teeth."
Michael felt frozen. He hadn't held something this small since he and Samael would sleep together in the same nest back in the Aviary. He wanted to snap at Adam and thrust the child back into his arms and yell at him that he should take her. That it was his fault she was here and to take some responsibility instead of shirking it onto him. He wanted to yell at him that he was too busy to be stuck holding a sleeping baby.
And yet, he felt himself gently secure his hold on her.
"Wha... what do I do with it?" He asked, his voice sounding scared and lost even to himself.
"Shit man, you guys weren't kidding when you said you have no idea how babies work, huh?" Adam would have laughed if it didn't make him nervous. "Look, she's gonna need something to suck on other than that thumb. I'm gonna see if I can sneak one out of the Nursery and back here for yah. Just... I don't know, hold and sing to her. That's what Eve and I used to do."
"But what do I sing to it?" Michael looked almost pleadingly at Adam for advice, which was fair since he seemed the one with the most experience regarding babies.
But Adam had already walked out the door, leaving the angels and Saint alone with the child. Gabriel would have started laughing when he saw how terrified Michael looked with the tired baby in his arms if it wasn't for the fact that he knew he would have been exactly the same if it had been him. Philomena however looked more flustered than worried. She was embarrassed that Adam had managed to upstage her, that he had known how to calm the baby down so easily
when he was just First Man. He was a crass idiot that loved fucking with her work on a daily bases when he was bored. And irresponsible and yet... he knew just what to do.
Philomena had never felt more unsure of her title than she did at that moment. How could she be the Saint of babies and children if she couldn't even figure out how to comfort one?
"Can we please not call her 'It'?" Philomena complained. "She's a child, not an object."
Gabriel and Michael paused for a second, both exchanging odd looks. They hadn't thought about it before but the teenager did have a point. It felt disrespectful towards the little one, even if she was a Hellborn. The problem was they had no clue what her name was. It wasn't like they could talk to her and ask, so far the baby had only cried, cooed, or screamed. And looking at her clothing, none of them could see a name much less an anagram to give them a hint.
'I was never good at naming anything,' Gabriel grimaced. "Sooo, Mikey... got any ideas?"
"Why would I have any ideas?" Michael hissed only to freeze with the little one grumbling unhappily at the noise. Both brothers held their breath just in case the baby would start to cry again.
"No, why would I have any ideas?" Gabriel scoffed softly. "I'm not the one with experience in naming stuff."
"And you think I do?" Michael hissed.
"Well, you were the one that named the ducks." Gabriel chuckled.
He could still remember how excited Samael had been at dinner with he told them about the little bird idea he had shown Father. Sera had been livid that the pair had snuck off when they were supposed to be practicing their instruments. Sammy hadn't cared though as he excitedly shared the story with them all, telling them that Michael had thought of the best name for them.
"It was one time, and after that when we were finally allowed to join in on everything, that job was given to Adam in Eden," Michael hissed, though he had a slight golden glow to his cheeks. He remembered that day too, the odd pride and guilt he had as Samael gave him credit for his idea. "I don't know what to call her."
"What about Eve?" Philomena cut in, smiling at the pair as they stared at her. "You know... because she's the first Hellborn in Heaven."
"Absolutely not," Michael instantly vetoed, perhaps a bit louder than needed. The baby certainly gave a small jerk of surprise before she tried to roll herself more firmly into Michael's chest. "... Adam will get upset if we do that and I don't want him pissy right now when we need his help the most."
Gabriel grimaced at Michael's words. It wasn't just Adam that had some bad memories when it came to Eve. They all had their issues regarding the Mother of Humanity. Not that Philomena knew that, it was before her time after all. Still, her logic wasn't off to call the baby at least something nice, but what? Name-giving had never been any of their strong suits. It was something that only their father and Samael seemed to have a talent for.
"Ava," Michael suddenly said. He sounded like he was testing it on his tongue for a second before he made up his mind. "We'll call her Ava for now. It's short and easy to remember."
An: So now we know how Adam got Charlie and why he brought her to Heaven, though... I wonder if everything was as it seemed? Regardless thank goodness he's there for some pointer for the Michael and Gabriel because they are clueless when it comes to a baby. Not that I can imagine Adam was perfect in the start either but if there's one thing my daughter's taught me is after the first few years and milestones, those parent reflexes kick in hard. Like when she decides she wants to suddenly bolt off because something caught her attention, I'm auto response in to snap out a hand and grab a shirt or jacket to stop her.
And after 28 kids, I highly doubt Eve let him pull a 'that's women's work' card.
So yeah, a little bit of a flashback heave chapter, but hopefully everyone likes a glimps into the past. I really want to have a good reason for the fall out and something I've always loved in stories is how two or more people can experience the same thing and yet have two different points of views to it.
And now we've got a name for Charlie for the angels, since it would be weird for them to keep calling her 'it' or 'the baby'.
As for Vaggie, Lute and Sera, I honestly haven't decided if they will appear in this story yet, mainly because I'm not sure how old Vaggie and Lute would be or if they are Heavenborn or Winners. Because that would affect how I'm do it if at all. I have an idea as to how Sera could be involved, but it would close to the end of the story because while she would be in denial at first, she would see the similarities and put 2 and 2 together.
Reference pictures:
Jophiel's hair do: . ?resize=500%2C625&ssl=1
Zadkiel's appearance is very much inspired by therealtroxa's version of her: therealtroxa/art/The-pacifists-869481879
They have a very neat comic on their deviantart page that is worth a read as well, though be forwarned, it can hae some pretty dark elements to it.
Inspiration art:
The flashback scene where Sera carries a little Samael away: (c) MI00M10 : /Lorenzo74209291/status/1793180508077138012/photo/1
Please note, that in the picture it is MI00M10 version of God who is a woman and honestly is a really awesome version of her too.