EPOV

I guess I should tell her about my feelings...

But was this even the right time? I guess so?

We have been going out for three months now... And we weren't 'arguing' anymore... She didn't seem too mad with me anymore... We didn't discuss anything serious anyway, but everything was going pretty smooth, so I guess this was the 'right' time! I should tell her that I was serious about this and I wanted more!

And didn't I always wait for the 'right' time that never really came?

"I must say I'm going to miss you," I said to her before we were leaving for our respective Grad schools.

"I'll miss all the healthy and unhealthy competitions we've had over the years. Thanks for being an amazing rival!" I smiled, "I'm really going to miss you."

This was the most honest I had ever been with her.

"Thanks," she smiled brightly, "I'm really going to miss you, too! If I am sincerely honest with you, I wouldn't be so good if you hadn't pushed me at times."

I chuckled, "I'd say it's the same for me."

"I'll really miss you!" She came close to me and gave me a hug.

I wished she wasn't dating that stupid Eric at that time. I'd have certainly opened up about my feelings!

I was really, really going to miss her!

"I'll miss you, too!" I said.

No, I wasn't ready to let her go!

Let me ask her out!

There wasn't anything serious between Eric and her, right?

But well, even if things weren't serious with Eric didn't mean that didn't mean she was going to say Yes to me! She never saw me that way!

And how was it going to work anyway!

Long distance relationships hardly worked, and I doubted if it was going to work for us.

No.

I shouldn't ask her.

I should just let it go!

I wished it was that easy to let it go!

Surely, I moved on, but if I was being honest to myself, there was nobody who could be her!

I had lost my heart a long time ago to her, and probably never got it back!

Maybe I should tell her and let her reject me! Probably that would end this shit for good!

"Bella... I need to talk to you about something important... I really don't know how you're going to take this..." I chuckled.

Well, probably I knew how she was going to take it!

She would say something like I was lying or bluffing or something like that...

"What? Are you breaking up with me?" She chuckled.

"Ummm... No... No!" I said.

"Then what?" She said.

"Look... I know you're going to think that I'm lying or I'm just fooling around, but I'm extremely serious about this..." I said.

"About what?" She said.

"I really, really like you... I've like always liked you," I said.

No!

I shouldn't have said that.

This wasn't the right time!

No!

This shit was so scary!

She looked at me like I was an alien or something!

"Ummm... Just forget about everything I said," I said, "We can get back to it some other time... Or we can just leave it altogether... I'm sorry! Just... Forget about it!" I said.

It was too soon!

"What do you mean you've always liked me?" She asked, "Define always."

Yeah... I guess she would have questions!

"I don't even know when exactly it started, but as far as I could go back, I have liked you," I said.

And then started staring at me again.

"I had thought about opening up about my feelings quite a few times, but I always chickened out, always!" I said, "I'm sorry! Yes, I tried to forget about those feelings along with years, but believe me, they're stronger than ever right now. You've no idea how serious I'm about you!"

"I have no idea what kind of joke this is!" She said.