I Don't Run An Orphanage!

by Kyodon

Izuku Midoriya, couldn't be a hero. But despite this, he soon finds he's a magnet for trouble, particularly trouble involving children. There a lot's of children in the city with quirks that cause issues for them and the people around them. And if their parent's won't care for them then he will! It may not have been the type of hero he wanted to be. But he's a hero none the less!

311. Incorrect Quotes 2

"Wow, the sauce on this steak is super unique! I've never tasted anything like it!" Amai exclaimed as she ate alongside Yami.

Yami looked over at her steak and squinted. "That's blood."

Amai paused for a second, before promptly continuing her meal.

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"So like do you have a D&#^?" Sori asked Kyoshi as he was grading papers.

Kyoshi stopped and looked up at Sori, his grin growing a bit wider. "You really wanna find out?"

"Well yeah, that's why I asked," Sori responded, completely clueless as usual.

…Is it morally sound to make a pass on someone THIS stupid. Kyoshi asked himself.

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"Can you believe people say I have a big ego!?" Kano scoffed as she sat with the other girls in her room, having a tea party.

Shiruku looked past Kano, at the massive portrait of herself behind her. "Yes."

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"I believe in gender equality," Ken said, before punching Yonda in the face.

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"It's okay to ask for help," Fu said.

"Your feelings matter," Kei added.

"You are not a burden." Eri piped up.

"Murder is ok!" Kioku added.

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"Don't worry, no matter what happens, Caretaker always comes out on top!" Kiba proudly proclaimed.

Your mom would beg to differ. Mina had to try so hard not to say that out loud.

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Yonda and Shina watched as Sai and Kyoshi tried to put out a raging fire in the kitchen.

So what were you trying to cook now? Yonda hissed.

I wasn't trying to cook! I was just trying to wash dishes! Shina sobbed. Why does oil look so much like soap!?

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Izuku looked down at the latest batch of intruders, who attempted to sneak their way to his home, but were quickly caught by his security, and were now tied up before him. "So tell me, what exactly made you think you could get past one of the most technologically advanced armies in the world?"

"I don't know, I just thought I could take 'em." One of the villains shrugged.

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"Darn it my chair broke!" Kiba hissed as she looked down at her collapsed chair.

"Fear lady Kiba! I have a solution!" Hinata said.

"Ah, excellent! As expected of my retainer!" Kiba smiled proudly.

Hinata then proceeded to get on her hands and knees. "Come Lady Kiba! Sit on my back!"

"...Perhaps there is such a thing as TOO much loyalty," Kiba replied.

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"I want to be a vegetarian." Kira proclaimed.

"Oh okay. Any reason why?" Izuku asked.

"Because whenever I see people eating meat, I get reminded of all the people I turned into ground beef," Kira explained.

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"Nice balls bro." Yonda.

BONK!

"Aghhhhhhhhhh!" Ken screamed as Yonda's hammer slammed into his balls while he was in his Four Arms form.

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Aw, you should have seen it Yonda I felt like a total noob! It was so embarrassing! It's like Yami has a passive skill that does AOE damage right to my heart! He just looks at me and I go AFK, just standing around lagging like a buggy bot! And the worst part is how casually he grinds my affection points! All he has to say is GLHF, it's GG for me."

Ok, now could you repeat that in Japanese. Yonda sighed.

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"Ok!" Vera shouted as she cracked her knuckles. "Time to beat some people to life!"

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"So did you teach Yuna any tricks?" Kioku asked.

"Um, just one," Fuku said.

"Cool, so can she roll over? Or jump?" Kei asked.

"Yuna, wave dash please," Fuku ordered.

"Wa-"

And then the bear proceeded to wave dash.

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"My makeup!" Shina gasped. "That's it! You're losing leg privileges!"

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"Hey, you think we should make a club for all the kids here who've taken a life?" Kioku asked.

"The fact that there are enough kids for that club to exist saddens me in ways words can not express," Izuku replied.

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"I'll have you know, assuming I like cheese simply because I am a rat, is very quirkist," Giza said, before nibbling on some cheese. "It also happens to be correct."

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"No, Dr we can not ask people that." Izuku refused. "I don't care how many incentives we give, there is no way we can ask people to give us their literal souls."

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Sai slammed two pieces of bead on either side of Sori's head. "What are you?"

"Hungry, give me some of that bread!" Sori replied.

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"My parents created me for violence, and to bring their enemies to oblivion," Sakio said.

"That's true, but please don't say it like that," Amai said.

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"People think I'm some damn mutt! That I'm a stupid thug! The nerve of those knuckleheads!" Yaba growled.

Ji rolled her eyes, before throwing a chew toy over Yaba's head, which she jumped up and caught with her mouth before she started chewing on it.

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"Ugh! I swear I want to strangle you sometimes!" Yonda growled.

"Why, you know it won't work." Fu scoffed.

"Better question, why strangling? Stabbing is way more efficient." Kira said. "Unless you want them to suffer. In that case, try drowning them."

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"Rember, money can't buy you happiness," Izuku said.

"Untrue! Amai wanna earn 1,000 yen?" Kioku asked.

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"Pah!" Kano recoiled as she spat out the blood she was drinking.

"What's wrong?" Kiba asked.

"B Positive!" Kano hissed.

"Well I'm trying, but seriously what's wrong?" Kiba asked again.

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"Hey, is fighting Sakio the same thing as fighting a baby?" Netsu asked.

"Stop asking these questions," Fu said.

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"You think I'm afraid of you! You fool!" Aka laughed.

Yonda then held up a green onion in a menacing fashion.

"I surrender!" Aka immediately yelped.

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"Come on Fuhai, you have to come out sometime," Kiba said to Fuhai's door.

"Over my dead body!" Fuhai responded through the door.

Kiba looked over to Fu next to her, and before he could say anything, she made his shadow grab him and lay him down, before jumping over him. "Ok I did it, come out!"

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"Imma firin mah lazer!" Le shouted, before shooting a laser from his mouth, and then abruptly stopping and breaking into a coughing fit. "Ah! Oh! Shit! That was not a good idea! Ahhhhhh!"

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"Were you killed?" Himiko gasped.

"Sadly, yes," Kiba said, before smirking. "But I lived!"

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"Me and Yami are on a seafood diet," Amai said.

"We see food, and we eat it," Yami explained.

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"Ow! I stubbed my toe!" Kioku cried.

Then she heard the sound of heavy footsteps running up behind her, and Vera burst into the room and stomped on her foot.

"Oh! Thanks, Vera!" Kioku said as the pain vanished.

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"Oh, this isn't regular old darkness!" Kiba shouted. "This is advanced Darkness!"

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"Wow, how did you get so good at cutting vegetables, Kira?" Fuku asked.

"Homicide," Kira answered.

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"Hey so Sue, what makes you so loyal to Midoriya?" Mina asked.

"Finders Keepers," Sue answered.

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"Ow!" Eri said as she bumped her head.

Before she could even clutch her head in pain, she felt two, large hands grab her, Vera's hands.

The large Russian woman then proceeded to suplex the child.

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"Gaaah! I will destroy everything you love!" Kiba shouted out in rage as she spiked her controller into the ground.

"Then destroy yourself Lady K," Amai said smugly.

"Don't think I won't!" Kiba threatened. "If Caretaker's taught me anything, it's how to destroy myself!"

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"Hey Izuku, weird question, did I leave my Barney costume over there?" Namae asked over the phone.

Izuku slammed his desk in shock. "That was yours!?"

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"Hey Vera, could you watch the children while they play outside?" Izuku asked.

"Of course." Vera then took out a Sniper Rifle and went over to the window. "I can see them all just fine from here."

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Le then teleported behind Yaba. "Nothing personal kid."

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What are you doing?! Yonda asked.

What am I doing? Fu repeated.

Thwarting my plans? Yonda asked.

Thwarting your plans? Fu repeated.

Are you? Yonda asked.

Yes. Fu answered.

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"That's it! Sori! Whack his peepee! Especially hard!" Kiba ordered.

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"Ah yes, another lovely day of practicing medicine," Vera said as she ground her ax, with healing intent.

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