Chapter 21: The Point Of No Return
Ugh. Today's the day. While Ritsu takes her shower, I replace the bloodied bandages on my arm and forehead with fresh ones before putting on my clothes from yesterday. Grabbing the scrap of paper off of my nightstand, my phone rings in a split second. I let out an annoyed grumble. No escape. Observing the phone screen, it's Chie that's calling.
"Hey, Chie," I greet. "Being our go-between, I see."
"Hey, Sato and yep, I am. Gotta keep the tracks hidden, y'know?" Chie affirms. Discussing locations with Kaneki via Chie, we agree to meet at noon in an alleyway that's a couple blocks away from Anteiku before ending the call. Not close enough to drag them into it if Kaneki and I are walking into a trap but also not too far for me to safely fall back to while Kaneki leads them away if needed. Optimal planning as it is, I'm starting to feel like a drug dealer. The gravity of the situation starts to quickly sink in, making my hands tremble while I deeply regret the thought about doubling down. Fuck! Why couldn't he have gotten this shitty piece of paper without me involved at all?! If only I knew when exactly to turn a blind eye sometimes.
"Ahhh! Gotta love a nice hot shower!" Ritsu lets out a pleased sigh as she leaves the bathroom.
"Yeah…," I mumble. She opens the window for whatever reason and walks over to me.
"Everything okay, Kira?" She hugs me from behind with only her left arm, making me snap back to reality as I notice she's still naked and wet from her boobs pressing into my back.
"I… I don't wanna do this shit, Ritsu," I exhale deeply.
"Then don't. Take everything back to Juuzou and give Kaneki your piece of the evidence without resistance," she casually suggests.
"But then I'm responsible for whatever happens after that! I can't just do that when I could potentially help everyone by opposing him and even doing that could backfire horribly! It's damned if I do and damned if I don't!" I yell, completely frustrated with the situation.
"If you realize that, then what sits the most right with you?" She inquires, staying calm and composed as she rests her chin on my right shoulder. We both know the answer but it still sucks.
"I have to try and get him to stick around longer. Even if it's only an extra day. I don't want the guilt of knowing I could've made a difference but didn't," I respond.
"Sticking to your guns is often the hardest thing to do but know that I support you even if you change your mind," she assures.
"Thanks, Ritsu. It's just a bitch to deal with after everything else in the past. I'm glad you're here to help keep my head on straight," I plant a kiss on her cheek.
"No problem… How about a little something to ease some of that stress?" She raises her right hand up, revealing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. So that's why she opened the window.
"I-I'm good. Since when do you smoke? When did you even get those?" I ask, surprised.
"I smoked back then too. I just didn't do it around you," she answers, sliding a cigarette out of the pack to put it in her mouth before lighting it. "Not like I smoke a lot. Just only a few when times are tough. I got these yesterday night which is how you barely beat me home," she exhales a puff of smoke out of the right side of her mouth. "You got like two hours before you leave, don'tcha? Sure you don't wanna try smoking?"
"I-I'm still underage for that, y'know?" I point out.
"Need I remind that you've seen and done so many fucked up things most humans never would? Not to mention, breaking the law by harboring me and assisting other ghouls. You deserve more than a smoke or two even if you're still one year under the legal age. Besides, it's not like we could drink together instead unless you're up for tasting blood wine," she offers. That's kinda similar to Rin's stance when she wanted me to drink with her.
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure even I would vomit if I tasted what is essentially rotten blood in your mouth," I wager.
"Just smoke with me this one time, baby!" She whines softly while gently shaking me. Rin was much more assertive when it came to pressuring me though.
"Fine, I'll try it," I give in.
"That's the spirit!" She takes it from her mouth and holds it to my lips. Attempting to take a drag, the smoke scorches my throat and I cough it out as I exhale. Even with just that little inhale, my brain feels a bit fuzzy.
"That shit burns," I complain.
"You get used to it," she takes a turn to get a puff, blowing out an even bigger cloud of smoke.
"Can we at least move closer to the open window?" I ask, waving away the smoke.
"Certainly," she nods. Sitting over by the window, she presses against my side with my arm around her and vice versa, passing the cig back and forth. Tastes horrendous but that fuzzy sensation is definitely calming and I can feel the urge to do it more. Understandable how people become smokers and struggle to quit. Basically my same takeaway from drinking. "Look at you! Already blowing smoke out of your lungs like you've been doing it for at least a week straight!" She giggles.
"With a bad influence like you around, it's no wonder," I chuckle.
"A bad influence that you love, remember?" She grins.
"That's also correct," I smirk back. After a few more minutes, we're only left with a butt which she extinguishes and leaves on the window sill. Grabbing my chin with her right hand, she leans closer with her tongue out, leading to us french kissing. The vile taste of ash is present yet not completely dominating the usual sweetness of her tongue and warm saliva. This is also kinda addictive.
"How does that kiss taste?" She mutters.
"Like licking a partially used ashtray that has sugar in it," I describe it to her.
"Another reason why I won't smoke a lot. Heavy smoking would take away the rest of the sweet part," she explains. "Wanna smoke one more?"
"No thanks. One was definitely enough," I decline.
"Smart boy," she puts a new cig in her mouth and lights it. Geez, it's like my brain is filling with static.
"Hey, mind if we lie down, Ritsu?" I ask.
"Beginner side effects just hit you, huh?" She casually inquires, venting out smoke from her mouth. "Of course. Not like you have to ask. C'mere." Lying down together, we cuddle, my face in her boobs while she affectionately rubs my back and enjoys her smoke. Getting too comfortable, I doze off only to awake when she gently shakes me.
"Huh?" I mumble.
"It's been an hour. You best get going," she advises.
"Oh… yeah," I yawn, remembering I've got shit to handle. Making sure I've got everything ready, I kiss Ritsu goodbye. "I'll be back… for better or worse."
"You'll be fine," she assures, trying to prevent me from despairing.
"Right," I nod. The doorbell spontaneously rings, catching our attention. Please don't be trouble. "I'll go look. You should probably throw on some clothes, especially if it's a friend of ours."
"Of The Anteiku Blend, you mean?" She teases as I leave our bedroom.
"Shut up," I sigh, which makes her laugh. Going downstairs, I set my things aside to avoid the line of sight of whoever is outside. Opening the door, I accidentally gasp. "O-Oh… T-Touka?" She's holding a lidded cup of coffee and a bagel with cream cheese. I was just at Anteiku two days ago so why… Oh… I understand.
"H-Hey, Sato. This is for you. I just had a feeling I should stop by seeing as we're kinda on a cautious standby until your meeting with Kaneki ends," Touka explains, handing them to me.
"Yeah… Thanks, Touka. I appreciate it a lot," I take a sip of coffee to quell my nerves. Huh… that's… exactly one of the ways I take my coffee… yet different in feel. It still has her touch though. No doubt about it. Taking a bite out of the bagel, the cream cheese spread tastes as sweet as cheesecake. She definitely made a hard guess on how much sugar to use but I don't really mind.
"Something wrong, Sato?" Touka asks. Damn it! She noticed that I noticed it! Is it too embarrassing for her if I mention it out loud?
"Not at all… but you made this coffee at home, didn't you?" I inquire curiously. I'll exclude the bagel since it's not like she can taste it so it'd be unfair to judge it.
"Y-You can tell?!" Touka gasps. "I-It's not bad, is it?!"
"Far from it! In fact, it's pretty even if not better in some areas!" I compliment.
"G-Good! Glad you like it!" She exclaims, a light blush forming on her face. Her eyes look me up and down, probably noticing how I'm dressed. Glad I didn't put on the coat. "You don't usually dress like that. It looks nice but you look like you're going to attend a funeral."
"It does, doesn't it?" I chuckle lightly. "Believe it or not, this was more my style before we met."
"It'd be nice to see more of it then," she recommends.
"Is that so? I can do that," I say.
"Ahem!" Ritsu suddenly clears her throat, startling Touka and me.
"Could you not?!" Touka and I yell.
"Haha! You two really didn't notice me?" Ritsu laughs.
"Our focus was elsewhere as I'm sure you could tell," I answer.
"Anyway, I'm sure you would like to keep talking but it's best to not keep Kaneki waiting, y'know?" Ritsu reminds me.
"Shit! You're right!" I gasp.
"Sorry, Sato. Didn't mean to hold you up but I'll talk to you later," Touka takes her leave.
"It's no big deal. I'll see ya later and stay safe," I advise. Touka stops in her tracks but doesn't turn back around.
"You do the same and please… remember what I told you," Touka says before continuing to leave.
"Don't worry! It's at the front of my mind!" I shout. When she's out of sight, I sigh deeply. She saw right through me on some level so she's definitely preparing for a bad outcome and I don't blame her. "Well, I'm gonna be going now."
"Do what you gotta do," Ritsu says. Loading everything into the car, I wave to her before I hop in and drive off. Watching dark clouds form in the sky, I chug the coffee and scarf down the bagel as I head to the meeting spot. A day for rain indeed. I try to keep my mind focused on the task at hand as it begins to pour down, seemingly chasing after my car. My heart rate spikes through the roof when I reach the area and find a discreet place to park. This whole block is disturbingly dead in terms of people walking around. Have to be prepared for anything to pop off, especially if my plan is interrupted.
Getting out of the car, I quickly put on my CCG coat, which already has my shotgun and its ammo holstered inside of it. Finally, I grab the quinque case and make my way to the alley. Feels like I never left the CCG with me dolled up in all this shit, especially with this rain dampening my hair and gliding down the coat while the steady breeze makes the bottom of it flap just a bit. In some fucked up ways, it's kinda nostalgic despite not being all that long ago. Should've asked Ritsu for another cigarette because I need a more helpful distraction until I down Juuzou's blood to get in the moment.
Upon reaching the alley, he's already there standing around. Ken Kaneki. The guy I could've possibly have saved from Yamori's torture had I kept my composure together long enough to be on the operation. Juuzou and I together would've punched through Aogiri's defenses as smooth as butter. I would've loved to see him steal that guy's motorcycle and charge in while I effortlessly cut and gun down the outside forces amidst the hail of bullets. Now here I am facing the irony of trying to restrain Kaneki using what's left of Yamori. Time to see how this will play out.