Extra Chapter - Burning Day

Author's Note- Just a random idea. Hope you like it.

Lilith - Satan's palace - Serafall's office

"I'm boooored!"

Send letters to Asgard thanking them for their hospitality during the talks…

"I said I'm boooooooored!"

Write a sharp letter back to Hades telling him he doesn't have a monopoly on hell as a concept… Also tell him to come take his dog back from palling it away with my own three-headed dog… How the hell did it even sneak into my home?

"Oh, Hades sent Cerberus to kill you in your sleep after you tried to make him sign a document naming you as his heir." I smiled as I recalled that brilliant plan, while drafting the budget for the foreign delegation to Olympus. I made a note to send some good weapons and a gift basket to a guy called Zagreus, who suddenly called me from an unknown number one day. 'Anyone who can piss off my old man that bad is good in my books,' he'd said in a grinning voice, 'so mate, any tips on how I can piss him off further? I'm trying to kill him and escape hell you see.' Ah, murder in the family, how ever could I refuse? I was quick to instruct him on the intricacies of regicide. I told him to start by confusing his father by making him coffee everyday and telling him that he loves and respects him very much.

A few days later he started sending me pictures of himself, Hades and some woman called Persephone, his mother, he said. The three of them sitting around a table surrounded by hell's fire and enjoying a pleasant dinner as they smiled at each other. I'd smirked, looking at Hades' unguarded joy, now all that's left is for Zagreus to strike the finishing blow and crown himself the king of Hell! … just that… it's taking him too damn long to do it. 'Ah, sorry mate. Your plan worked a little too well and now the old man's okay with me leaving hell for a bit here and there. Oh, my mother sends her love and would like to meet the young man who brought her family together, she says. You good popping over for a day or two?' That's what he said when I grilled him on his progress. I assumed that that was his code-speak for him needing more time, so I just played along and agreed to meeting them if and when there's any diplomatic mission to Hades. I had to drop off their dog too.

While I was lost in thought, a face had plopped onto my lap, looking up at me with a pout as I sat on the sofa before my desk and checked off my to-do list. "I'm bored-I'm bored-I'm bored-I'm bored-I'm bored-"

"Oh devil, will you shut up!" I snapped at her with a glare. "I'm already doing half your papers, you just have to sign them off!"

Serafall started kicking her feet up and down and shaking her hands left and right, throwing a tantrum with a high pitched whine, "but that's sooo boooring!" She sniffed up at me, giving me a teary eyed look, "y-you're supposed to be fun to hang out with!" She pouted and dug her face into my stomach, hugging my waist with her hands, "but you're sooo boring! All you want to do is work-work-work-work!"

I smirked, "how else can I make you careless and sign off your power to me one day?"

She blinked, "…what."

"Oh no, I've exposed myself." I sighed at my own ineptitude, "guess that means you'll have to keep a closer eye on the documents and do them yourself." I smiled to myself, "it was fun, being buried in bureaucracy, gave me ideas for tormenting my subjects with red tape when I eventually rule them all."

"…oh no you don't, you're not getting out of this," she sat up and glared at me, crossing her arms. "You do half of it, and then I give you the other half, that was the deal."

I stared at her. I stared real hard at her, wishing, praying - but not hopeful - that she'd spot the fallacy in that logic.

She eventually fidgeted, before smiling shamelessly at me, "I mean, by the time you're done with your pile, I'd get another set of papers on my desk, and then you get to do half of them!" Uh huh? And how many of your pile do you actually finish before you happily drop them on my desk? She grinned and snickered, "that's the best part! I don't have to! If what's a half always keeps changing for me, I can hardly be blamed for dutifully following our agreement and dividing it up!" She nodded sincerely, an impish grin on her face, "I'm a girl of my word, Sasuke-chan!"

"Tch," I scowled and looked away, glaring at the papers and scribbling off the necessary blanks on them, "yeah, and enjoy the awe and envy of the other departments at how quickly we get things done in Foreign Affairs huh?" I resisted the urge to tear a hole into the paper I wrote on, "siphoning off my hard work… claiming credit for my contributions… the corruption is… delicious." I chuckled. Moral squalor is quite gratifying.

"Yeah, you like that don't you," she whispered in my ear, leaning against me with her arm looped around mine. She snapped her fingers and the stack of papers on her desk flashed over to her side on the sofa, "you like this, Sasuke-chan?" Her breath hot against my cheek, as she grabbed a sheet and added it to my pile, "hehe, you're actually grinning? This turning you on, birdie? " Paper after paper after paper added to my desk, as she breathed into my neck, "Can't get enough of my load huh?" She snickered.

I snorted. "you are pretty stacked."

"…"

"With paper I mean."

"…nice save."

"You like it? I got enough saves to fill your whole rack."

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, "I bet you do," she then pushed me back, hopping and sitting on top of me with suggestive smile as she leaned forward, her forehead touching mine, "so are you just gonna push pencils all day or do you wanna push something else too?" An inviting wink of her eye.

Swap!

"Eh?" She blinked as she appeared back at her desk, seated across me, while I continued dotting the fine paper.

"Got it out of your system?" I commented, giving her a look, "now get back to work."

"Bwa- b-but, y-you, aaah!" She complained, hitting her desk with her fists, "a-after all that! Y-You stick in the mud! Don't you wanna have fun!"

Yeah right, as if it's that easy to manipulate me-

Serafall glared at me, stomping over and sitting beside me again, before she whispered in my ear,

"Create an excuse to ditch the work and I'll let you in on the loopholes in our government-"

My Mangekyo spun into action!

A few seconds later.

Serafall and I stood outside her office which was now a festival of black fire licking every inch of it.

Serafall tsk'd, shaking her head, "Sasuke-chan, you know better than to use that technique indoors. Now how can we possibly work without an office!"

I stood shamefaced, and completely not smiling in tandem with her. "Damn, let me treat you to some lunch and a day out to make up for it. Not like we can get any work done now." My Kagtsuchi ensuring that the black flames were just for show and not actually burning anything, we happily began marching away when a voice hailed us from behind.

"What? A fire accident?" A tall red-haired man mused as he walked across the corridor, seeing the magic-safety devils rush past us to Serafall's office to try and douse the fire. Lucifer, the man in question, turned to us with a smile, placing a friendly hand on our shoulders, "no worries, my doors are always open to my friends. You two can work with me in my room today."

"T-That's fine, Sirzechs-chan, we don't want to impose-" Serafall tried to turn him down-

"Nonsense! You're always welcome, Serafall," Lucifer said with a warm smile to her, "and… you too," he tried to suppress a scowl when he looked at me. I too resisted the urge to flip him off, to reciprocate his reticence in open hostility.

And off he herded us to his office, making small talk which Serafall answered with dull sighs and longing looks to the bright day outside the window.

And what do you know, I had another 'accident' right as we arrived at our destination.

Lucifer gave me an unimpressed look as we stood outside his blazing office. The flames dancing across his high-class, uppity desk, the extravagant blood-red carpets, and the pretentious wine bottles laid out on his table, all of which just screamed, 'ain't I so sophisticated?'

Serafall cheered at the carnage and gave me a quick hug when Lucifer wasn't looking. And I just had a satisfied smile on my face, humbled by Lucifer's generosity at giving me an opportunity to set fire to his things.

"…no harm done, I don't keep anything important here anyway but," Lucifer turned to me with a smirk, "I guess you just burned your promotion papers."

My eyes widened.

"What?!"

Lucifer gave me a toothy and sharp grin, "didn't you know? All pay raises go through me. How unfortunate, I was just about to sign off a bonus for all your hard work too-"

M-My money! Nooo!

I know my flames won't burn anything but I can't take any chances when it comes to cash! Do you know how much it costs to raise five brats!

I whipped my head to the fire, stammering out a, "K-Kaguts-"

"Sasuke-chan! Resist it!" Serafall grabbed my face and turned it to face her.

"B-But the money-"

She pouted and sniffed, grabbing my hand and leaning against me, "is some cash more important than me?"

A smile slowly grew on my face, "…now that's scumbag worthy sooo-"

Serafall sighed and then glowered at me, muttering, "okay, so you wanna be bureaucracy's plaything?"

"Nobody plays with me!" I roared at the very insinuation, snapping at her for suggesting that an Uchiha can be tricked, "Only I play with myself!"

Silence and the cracks of flames filled the air for a few moments before-

"I did not need to know that," Lucifer sighed and then patted my back, "my sympathies, Uchiha. No wonder you're the way you are."

Serafall just snorted and giggled at me.

I frowned in confusion. What sympathy and why's she giggling- oh. I glared at them, "you juvenile devils, don't you understand metaphor-"

But I trailed off as a green-haired man strolled in with a curious look in his eyes, poking his head into the burning office, sticking a device into the flames and humming with interest and the machine beeped and booped.

"Hm, a douse factor of 0 but around room temperature and not a scorch mark on anything while being inextinguishable." He looked up from the device with a thinking smile, looking directly at me, "but empirical evidence suggests that your flames are very much capable of burning things to a crisp. You are an interesting man, Uchiha Sasuke."

"Ah, Ajuka's interested in you." Lucifer's face grew pleasant at that, as he turned to me with satisfaction, "nice knowing you, Uchiha. I'll see to it that the lab food isn't too angelic. And don't worry, Ajuka's specimens are usually left intact after he's done with them… usually."

Ajuka Beelzebub stood up and dusted his pants, "I've always said that your true calling was being a comedian, Sirzechs. And you prove me right every time." He and Sirzechs exchanged an exaggerated semi-formal bow, which was a high class way of flipping each other off I suppose, before he turned to me, all smiles again, "so how do you feel about a visit to-"

"He's off limits." Serafall interjected, her lips set in a firm line.

"-my office?" Ajuka spared Serafall a knowing smile, before he crossed his arms and looked at all of us together. "The paperwork's been piling up, two Satans' offices are out of commission for the secretaries to zap their pending papers to, and the tragedy is that they're sending it all to me." He sighed forlornly and shook his head, muttering about the crime of being forced out of his lab, "so!" He clapped his hands and smiled at us, "who needs an office to work in?"

Serafall, Lucifer and I exchanged a look, came to a silent agreement, and then nodded at each other.

A few moments later.

Beelzebub laughed happily, "and now I need an office to work in."

We stood before his office, an inferno of black flames which rode on scattered test-tubes, half-open electronics with splayed out wiring, and walls lined with bulging bookshelves.

Beelzebub took out a notebook and began scrawling notes in it, humming to me, "that eye of yours, quite trigger happy isn't it?"

I nodded stiffly, wary of his interest and deciding to just bullshit, "an abundance of paper activates it on its own. Truly mysterious."

Beelzebub snapped his book close and nodded, "ah, an apt time to go paperless."

Lucifer blinked and frowned at this, slowly turning to Beelzebub and adding, "he means the concept of paper. Not the material itself. Isn't that right, Uchiha?"

I furrowed my brow. Why does he seem bothered- Serafall leaned close to my ear and whispered, "he takes his huge stacks home and shows off to his kid about how hard-working a dad he is." What kind of idiot takes his work home? Anyway that's his problem, so-

I said with a frown, "I don't care if my promotion is in paper or paperless on those computers-"

Lucifer chuckled, giving me a warm smile, "Uchiha, isn't it wonderful how paperless makes everything cheaper? Devil forbid it set a bad precedent and lead to unfortunate cost cuttings. Why, I'd be indignant if it ever reached, say my, …wages?"

I hummed, "so, you're saying paper makes me richer? Hm, it'd have to be a lot richer to convince me." I put a hand over my heart and said with utter sincerity, "otherwise, go paperless, save the environment, think of the children, Lucifer."

We both smiled at each other, each understanding the other's gambit and motive very well.

Sirzechs conceded, "yes, a little richer."

I prodded, "how little?"

He shrugged, "a tiny bit."

I shrugged in turn, "well, everything is tiny with you I suppose."

"…the angel is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, what does it mean?"

He scowled, "tch, it's bigger than yours at any rate."

I looked at him in wonder, "oh? What is? Your confidence?"

He scoffed, "I'll have you know, women's jaws have been known to drop at its sheer magnificence."

I smiled kindly in return, "Lady Lucifuge would love to hear that, I'm sure."

"Why you piece of shi-"

Serafall stepped in between and pushed us both away as we'd stepped forward with scuffling intent - Lucifer growling with his arms glowing red and me smirking at his rage - "boys, boys, yes, you both are very manly. Now stop fighting-"

Beelzebub scoffed, letting out superior airs with crossed arms, and paying no mind to his crackling office, "if only you two knew the sheer length that is afforded me by science, you wouldn't stand there and shame yourselves before me."

Serafall gave him a bewildered look, "aw come on, not you too-!"

Lucifer glared at Beelzebub, "Ajuka, that's not natural-"

Beelzebub let out a mysterious smile, "not that I've indulged in it myself, but really, what is artificial, but the correction of genetic shortcomings."

"Interesting how you say short coming," Serafall slapped her face as I couldn't help myself from uttering with a smile, "the miracle of science I'm sure."

"…you have a very punch-able face," Beelzebub said, looking at me with pursed lips.

"He does, doesn't he?" Lucifer nodded.

What can I do but bow at such heart-felt praise? "Why, thank you," I humbly accept your verbal medals.

"They're bonding over dicks…" Serafall muttered beside me with a weirded out face, "the heck…"

And just then one of the other secretaries of the Palace arrived before us, bowing respectfully before unfurling a fancy scroll and relaying that,

"The Satan, Lord Falbium, sends his regards! He has learned of the tragic events passing his fellow Satans' domiciles of gruntwork and so has granted them the exclusive use of his palace quarters! Saying in his own words, 'feel free to use my place, consider it your own home. I won't accept my fellow Satans not having a place in their own palace. Where else will I push my work off too?' Please, accept these keys Lords and Lady Satan!"

And then she dumped the keys into my hands and scuttled away.

And the four of us, me, Serafall, Lucifer and Beelzebub, stared at those keys like they were anathema.

Beelzebub cleared his throat and began in an inquisitive tone, "Sasuke- can I call you Sasuke?" I shrugged. "Great, so Sasuke, would you be interested in helping me getting a fire going? All my bunsen burners are out of commission you see-"

A few moments later.

Beelzebub and I stood outside the Satans' palace guiltily, our experiment going a little out of control.

Blaze!

"Everyone! Stay calm, exit the building in an orderly fashion! The flames will not burn you! I repeat! The flames will not burn you!" Lucifer declared from a loudspeaker while standing beside us with a shit-eating grin, "go on! Take a leave! Spend time with your loved ones! I'm declaring today a holiday!"

"Yeaaah!"

"Woohoo!"

"Fuck the government!"

The crowd cheered before the burning pile that was their Satan's palace, the headquarters of their government.

Looking appropriately embarrassed for the cameras and the reporters, Beelzebub and I exchanged a smirk and a nod and then went back to looking embarrassed at our silly mistake.

Serafall breathed a sigh of relief and blew a kiss at the sky, and just when she thought she'd escaped work for today-

Shine!

A magic circle appeared in the air, and a figure in dark, corrupted, holy light descended, his black wings folding into his black suit, as he landed before us with a friendly smile. Azazel gave us a two-fingered salute as he greeted us,

"Don't worry, I gotchu dawgs," his eyes twinkled as he spoke in some stupid human lingo, "Fire accidents almost never occur at the Grigori HQ. I never had to stop working due to fire hazards. So come on over and I'll set you up!" He said this in full view of reporters eager to get a statement and corner us with our own words.

"Oh come on!" Serafall cursed into the sky, pulling her hair. Lucifer's enthusiastic announcements abruptly became sullen and annoyed. And Beelzebub started wondering if Fallen Angels had a knack for being pricks.

But unbeknownst to them all, I could see Azazel's dark circles, his carefully hidden exhaustion, and the silent plea for help he sent us, the rings of paperwork driven madness firmly etched in his eyes.

And so I simply put a hand on his shoulder, and gave him a firm thumbs-up.

One teleportation later.

Serafall, Lucifer and Beelzebub stood before the flaming Grigori HQ and took group pictures of themselves called 'selfies' or something. Vindictive smiles occupied their faces as they posed as if they'd just won a war or conquered the enemy while having the burning HQ in the background.

Azazel was more lost at staring at his burning building with an intrigued smile, "well would you look at that. First time for everything huh? Now where in the world can I work?"

Serafall joined us, throwing an arm around my shoulder, grinning, "gee, I guess you have to take a day off huh?"

Azazel folded his hands and nodded severely, 'yes, how nice- I mean, how sad." He spoke into a magic circle which appeared over his hand, "hear that everyone? It's a holiday today-"

Shing!

A pair of kunai struck the floor from the sky, and then an illusion puffed out of them, billowing up as a cloudy mist from which emerged the face of a nine-tailed fox smiling with the utmost concern for us. Yasaka, the ruler of Kyoto, my disciple Kunou's mother began,

"Well met, devils, fallen and… you" she spared me a baleful glare, which I returned with a nostalgic smile as I recalled the ping-pong match I'd played with her, Issei, grandmaster Cao Cao and the prison dragon. She served as a most excellent ping pong - encased in a chibaku tensei in her nine-tails form while we endeavored to smack sense back into her - enough to impress the Dragon of Dreams who'd been summoned by vilemaster Cao Cao to witness our epic match. I'm glad to say that I soundly won the tournament, winning Great Red's acknowledgement as a master ping-pong player and that he'd look forward to my performance in the nationals. Whatever that means. He left before I could ask.

And then some creepy little black-haired girl in a frilly dress showed up and demanded my allegiance to some chaos whatever but I was too worn out from the match to listen to her so I just cast an empty illusion on her which would put her in an empty blank room and hopefully lull her into sleep, and she immediately lost consciousness, falling back and smacking into the ground. Following which vilemaster Cao Cao gave me a bewildered look, carefully approached the girl, prodded her with his foot, and at no response, he crouched down and put his hand before her nose, grew alarmed, and then put his ear to her chest, and then finally shouted, gobsmacked,

"H-Holy shit, he killed Ophis!"

I have no idea why everyone ran away after that declaration, grabbing their things and getting out of there as if their asses were on fire, looking at me as if I was an otherworldly monster but I have to say… damn it felt good to be stared at with such fear.

Confused, I snapped my fingers and released the girl from the genjutsu. And she immediately sat up, looked around and focused on me, demanding me to put her back in the room of nothingness which was so empty and quiet and void of anything and- I got tired of listening to her and snapped my fingers again and she thankfully smacked back into the ground. I told Issei to take care of finding her parents and left the matter in his hands. I was more interested in convincing my disciple Kunou that the events that transpired were a clear indication that her mother was a delicate flower who had to be protected at all costs. And how could she do that? By becoming stronger, gaining allies, and finally sitting where her mother is one day.

Though frightened at first, she soon nodded eagerly, vowing to be her mother's foremost aide and help her with anything and everything. She soon started calling me Master No-tails. I'd smirked. Foremost aide huh? So young and the girl is already learning political euphemisms. I'd let out a pleased laugh as I ruffled her hair, making her bark at me to stop messing up her hair again and again.

"-a little foxie told me my good friends and that maniac needed an office to work from." Yasaka smiled, pointedly not looking at me, "I'll have an entire section of my temple for your use."

Serafall, Lucifer, Beelzebub and Azazel groaned with despair and then turned to me for salvation.

Ask! And I shall deliver!

One deliverance later.

"Amaterasu's flames bless us," Yasaka stood with us outside the temple which served as her home, her face filled with reverence which hid a gleeful smile as she saw the black fire laze about and sun-bathe on her home. She then turned to us, again not looking at me, and said with an eager grin, 'So! who's up for the beach while we wait for the flames to settle-"

Crack!

Lightning flashed from the sky, and a note lay at my feet. I scratched my head and picked it up and it read,

"Asgard's halls are always open to its friends."

I sighed, and cracked my fingers. I should probably start charging…

One transaction later.

"The halls are closed due to some friendly fire. In the meantime, strip clubs anyone!" Laughed Odin, patting me heavily on the back while we walked through Valhalla where dead warriors were staring at my fire with challenge in their eyes as they roared and charged at it.

Odin then stopped abruptly, frowned, and then lifted his staff in the air, "a message for you, boy," he said as his staff glowed and misty visages of gods I didn't recognize shone through. And one of them roared,

"The divine shelter of Olympus be upon you!"

How the hell are these people finding me?

My Mangekyo spun.

"Olympus declares a day of restful burning!"

And just as I stepped through my portal-

The heavens shone and down descended a blond angel, wreathed in sacred holy light, and flying down with shining white and golden wings, wings which folded into his back as he gave me a smile which suggested he didn't want to impose too much on me.

The arch-angel Michael began in a friendly tone, "so, I was wondering-"

I put my hand up, stopping him and nodding with assurance, "say no more."

He smiled fully, "God bless you, child."

The towers of Heaven roasted in a fine black flame that day. And I heard that some new souls were apparently confused whether they'd arrived in heaven or hell.

And just as I descended from heaven, I got a call,

"Hey mate, Zag speaking. So I heard all about this give-the-world-a-break day you have going, really impressed. You mind coming over and setting fire to Hades? The place I mean, not my old man. See Medusa keeps working and says no whenever I tell her to just relax for a while and you know what? Even the old man could lay off the paperwork for a while. Take my mother somewhere nice, you know? So, help a mate out?"

I sighed. When the hell am I going to get a break? Actually… why the hell am I doing this? I asked Zagreus why the hell I was doing this.

"Uh, I'll take Cerberus off your hands?"

…I sighed. Ain't no rest for the wicked.

I then tore open a portal to Hades and got to work.

A few days later, elsewhere

I, Vali Lucifer, sitting in my hideout, gaped at headlines which I saw on the papers I got today.

'Karasu on a rampage! Burns the headquarters of a hundred mythologies in a single day!'

'Burning Day, a Universal annual holiday declared in consideration of his eyes 'accidentally' setting fire to all things official on this day.'

'Goddess Amaterasu proclaims satisfaction at Karasu's dedication of flames in her name. Read more on page 5-'

I gaped. I gaped real hard. Because… what the actual shit. T-This guy got a holiday declared in his name! And for what? For freaking burning down government buildings? And these people are thanking him for it?

"Man… I love this guy." I found myself uttering, my face set in a hard grin. "I mean sure, I hate his guts but… damn! I freaking love him!" Who else can claim to evoke gratitude for wanton arson? My rival! He can! And so being his rival, now it's my duty to get a holiday declared in my name! I whipped out my notebook and eagerly began brainstorming for ideas.

Vali-Day… Hey it rhymes with Holiday!

I had a good chuckle at that and started jotting down my plans for a holiday to surpass Burning Day.

Elsewhere, elsewhere

A certain heroic spear-wielder, read the paper, spat out his coffee in a disbelieving sputter and then started cursing out, "damn you, Uchiha Sasuke! Stop doing my job!" He then threw the paper away and immediately fell upon this drawing board, filled with convoluted plans of making the world a better place. Cao Cao swore. How the hell was he going to out-hero this.

Elsewhere, elsewhere, elsewhere

Great Red hummed to himself, while flying through the Dimensional Gap.

"Happy Burning Day to you. Happy Burning Day to you. May Ka-ra-su Burn you. Happy Burning Day to you."

Spinning through the void, he wondered when that funny ping-pong guy would go to the Nationals.

Elsewhere, elsewhere, elsewhere, elsewhere

Ophis' eyes snapped open. She found herself in someone's home. She immediately jumped out the window, ignoring the brown haired boy calling and running after her as she sniffed the air and tried to find that human who'd put her to sleep - or what passed for sleep for a being like her.

She could feel it in her bones, he'd be the one. The one to kick the fool out of her home.

She felt the corners of her face stretch. And putting her fingers to her lips, realized that it was a smile.

She nodded. That means she liked it.

Sniffing the air with renewed fervor, she began her hunt for her sleeping aide.

Oh and she should probably fire Cao Cao. Her sleeping aide was a much more efficient hero than that stick waver ever was.

Elsewhere, elsewhere, elsewhere, elsewhere, elsewhere

I, Uchiha Sasuke, happily hummed as I made breakfast in the kitchen.

The brats started at me in horror, looking at me with terrified gulps as I whistled happily.

Gaki gulped, "h-he's happy. Nii-san's happy."

Chikusho uttered solemnly, "how many civilizations did he end…"

Jigo hugged herself and shivered, smiling blissfully, "ooh, nii-san, you're my idol!"

Gendo scratched his head, "guys, he's just making breakfast-"

Shura frowned at him, "Gendo. When is nii-san happy?"

"When he… oh… Oh shit."

Gaki groaned and buried her face in her hands, "why is he like this? Where did I go wrong in raising him?"

Jigo rolled her eyes, "if you raised him, he'd live and die just to feed you."

"Yeah, that's my ideal nii-san!" Gaki grinned at her.

Jigo scoffed, "Well, my ideal nii-san is just nii-san! He's perfect the way he is!"

Chikusho smiled, "I think nii-san is a good person deep down." The rest of them gave him pointed looks. "Deep down." Their looks relaxed.

Gendo messed with his hair, frowning, "hey, is he… cutting cake?" His eyes widened, "that stingy nii-san is giving us cake in the morning?!"

Shura marched up to me and grabbed me by my shirt, growling, "you! What did you do!" I chuckled at him and ruffled his hair. Which only served to make his face go pale with dread. "H-How many? How many did you piss off this time!"

I hummed, "oh, somewhere around a hundred-"

Shura blinked, "…huh, that's not so bad-"

"Mythologies. A Hundred mythologies."

"…oh fuck." He left me and groaned into his palms, "I'll be doing damage control for months!"

"Have fun with that, I'm just going to sit here and celebrate etching our clan into history." I grinned at him, "read the paper lately?"

"…huh?" Shura frowned and grabbed the paper, lowering it a little so that the other brats who'd gathered around him to take a look too. The brats' eyes slowly widened to big saucers.

Shura whispered, "no way, you madman. You actually-"

Jigo squealed and hugged my waist, "yeah! The world finally celebrates once what I celebrate everyday!"

Gaki pouted and grabbed my hand, hugging it to her face, "b-but I don't want to share you with the world. Y-You're mine!"

Gendo scratched his head, "uh, does that make you a jolly fat man who visits everyone's houses once a year?"

Chikusho whispered with awe, "nii-san is a miracle."

I patted Gaki's head, and said the magic words to get her to stop sniffing,

"So, who wants to celebrate with cake?"

The brats' faces immediately brightened as they all sat before the table and cheered.

"Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!"

I chuckled and laid out the dessert before them.

Because for today. Just today.

The cake was not a lie.

Also…

Having a licence to burn feels damn good!

Author's Note-

So what do you think? Funny? Boring? Dull? Okay?

Let me know your thoughts!

Cheers!