It had to be one more of those horrible nightmares, although this one felt different than usual. He had dreamed that his whole platoon had died in an explosion, out on patrol. Without even a chance to defend themselves. Only Davies had lived for a few moments longer but she she had died of blood loss right in front of him, begging for her parents and her brother while her life drained out of her. And he just hadn't been able to bring her back. A truely horrible dream.

Slowly SunTzu opened his eyes, and he was greeted by soft, understanding, crimson-colored pupils looking into his. It had been a while since he had seen them that kindly looking, at least at him. Setsuna had gotten up the moment he opened his eyes, putting the book she had been reading while waiting for him to wake up on the table next to her.

"Setsuna… w-what happened?" He asked, his brain still slow and mind foggy from the sedative, the painkiller for the burn wound on his leg and the shock. And then slowly the sensations he had felt before came crawling back piece by piece. There really had been an explosion he remembered piecemeal.

"My platoon. Where is my platoon?"

She changed her posture from leaning down to him, rising to her full height. SunTzu didn't see how her hands began to clench around the guard rail of his hospital bed.

"I'm so sorry." Her voice had lost it's usual strength and she couldn't bring herself to look into his eyes anymore.

For a moment SunTzu just stared at her, while his brain tried to process what she just had said.

"No." It was a susurrus.

"Nooo." He tried to get up but something was fixed on his arms. SunTzu looked to the side to the realize his arm was bound to the bed.

"Let me… let me go!"

"I cannot do that. I put you on suicide watch, precautionary measure."

"Trust me, i won't kill myself before I haven't killed the people that killed my platoon."

"Please calm down."

"I said, let me go." SunTzu jounced the fixation. "You know how I easy I can break this restraint."

"SunTzu." Setsuna tried to get his attention but all he did was more shaking the restraint, trying to free himself.

"SunTzu!"

He finally looked up to her.

"I know how much it hurts... trust me I've been there. But please, calm down."

"I want revenge… I…" He looked in her eyes and couldn't keep it together anymore. "It hurts… why is it always me to be the sole survivor?" His voice was breaking, and Setsuna could see that he was fighting with himself to keep his composure.

But sometimes it was better to let things out.

"I'll give you a moment." She took a second before she moved, tempted to take him in her arms, let him cry into her, let her partake in his pain. It was one of those moments where it broke her what they all were doing to him. But she couldn't even bring her guard down enough to caress his face, to big was her fear to never let him go again should she embrace him now. A small stroke over his temple before she turned around and left, hearing that as soon as she had turned around how he began to sob.

The door closed behind her with the typical whiz and she found herself eye to eye with Jedi-Master Cilghal. Just as Setsuna had waited next to SunTzu's hospital bed at the end of the med bay, she had waited in front of the room on a bench there, ready to react if SunTzu would leave the room, the lust for revenge and the darkness having overcome him.

"Master Cilghal, I think you can take a break for a few minutes, I'll wait here for you. Get a tea."

The Mon Cal nodded and got up silently, she knew that Setsuna tried to give SunTzu some privacy for his ongoing outburst of emotions.

"His suffering is immense." Cilghal commented what she felt from the other side of the door.

"I am confident that letting his emotions over this way will calm him down."

"I have faith in you, Lieutenant Colonel." Cilghal said and left, her large eyes a bit less hard than before.

Cilghal just had left when Setsuna began to hear SunTzu's wailing through the door.

As she sat down she closed her eyes and tried to not listen to the heartbreaking crying.

Fifteen minutes later the Jedi Master came back from the mess and sat down next to Setsuna. SunTzu's wailing had stopped after a few minutes, at least the audible one.

Setsuna didn't look away from the door she had been staring at, broodily, since ever Cilghal had left.

Cilghal didn't look at Setsuna as well, but focused on the door as well.

"You care a lot for him." The tone of the Healer let Setsuna know, what Cilghal was implying.

"You know, Master Jedi, I once told someone that holding one close, and giving him kisses aren't the only symbols of love and that watching over someone from afar is also an expression of love. But sometimes the biggest symbol of love is to make sure the person you feel for doesn't loose the rest of his humanity just to give in to revenge."

Setsuna paused for a moment, looked down at her hands as she began rubbing over her left hand with her right thumb before she continued.

"I'm afraid the loss of his men will break him again. And that this time he will finally fall."

Her thumb had wandered up to a small scar on the inside of her wrist.

Cilghal who had looked at Setsuna while the later had been talking turned back to the door. She closed her eyes for a moment and the hint of a smile formed on her mouth, before she spoke and opened her big eyes again.

"I guess then it's up to you to save him from falling."

Setsuna nodded slowly, stopping to rub the scar.

"I guess you are right."

"Good, as someone should take a look at his burn wounds now."

Cilghal turned to Setsuna again as she said that, a whimsical grin on her lips.

"Guess it's time for a doctor's visit then."

Setsuna replied and got up again.

SunTzu had stopped crying minutes ago and now just sat upright in his hospital bed. He felt exhausted after his emotional outburst.

He looked around and saw that next to the chair Setsuna had been sitting in, a table was placed and there was a book on it. He could read the name printed of the side, it was The Art of War, the issue he had gifted Hotaru months ago. Setsuna seemed to have borrowed it from her but his mind was too dull to make any assumptions from noticing it.

The anger and the pain were gone, replaced with a feeling of emptiness and guilt.

Suddenly the door glided open and Setsuna walked into the room.

She was wearing combat pants and a maroon colored tank top under her white doctor's coat and when she saw that he was sitting there, a picture of misery, eyes still red and puffy, she stopped for a moment.

Their eyes met and SunTzu could see that there was sorrow in hers as well.

Setsuna avoided to look into his sad eyes as she walked up to her chair next to his bed and sat down on it.

"If you feel pain or itchiness in your leg, it's because the Bacta is still working, something burned your leg. It's a miracle you're otherwise unhurt."

That said she let the chair roll next to his legs, turned over the blanket and began to examine his leg, taking a look at the healing process under the Bacta bandages.

SunTzu looked at her while she was doing her work.

"How did I survive?"

Setsuna shot him the briefest gaze before she returned to his leg and began to replace the Bacta bandages with quick and experienced movements, taking new bandages from a moveable table on the side of the bed.

"Master Cilghal said she felt the Force focusing on a single point. Which probably had been you."

SunTzu thought about it for a moment, he couldn't remember much from the moment of the explosion, he remembered he looked at the Gunny and then everything went black. No, not completely black, there was something… a woman. He remembered a woman, dressed in white with lilac-silver hair, and she embraced him. But what did that mean?

"So the Force saved my life."

"Very much so we believe. I'm not a Jedi Master but maybe it was a self-protection reaction. Maybe the Force formed a shield around you again, just like the one time you and AICA rammed through that Star Destroyer."

SunTzu didn't reply, he just looked down his lap.

"What do you feel?" Setsuna asked him, the experience of centuries of being a medico perfectly masking her anxiety to actually hear how heavy the sorrow on his heart and soul really was.

"I feel… old. Most of the platoon were kids, they all had their live still before them. And I…" His anger flared up again, his back straightened and Setsuna noticed how his fists clenched as she had just finished applying the Bacta bandages around his leg.

"I will make them pay, all of them."

Not that she couldn't understand his anger, very well she did and she felt anger towards the people that attacked them as well, Hades, even Hotaru had been furious. In the time SunTzu was out, Doctor Urawa and Kino-San had traced the signal they found before the explosion back to a fortress in the middle of the jungle in the absolute nowhere and apart from insisting to spearhead the retaliation strike, the Senshi of Death and Rebirth had first requested to use her real powers, and after getting the request denied the use of nuclear weapons, which also had gotten denied.

Nevertheless AICA and Hotaru had striked down on the enemy installation like lighting and after taking out the enemy's air defense in a swift strike along her flying foster mothers, dropped the first bombs on the installation. The first of dozens as tons of ordnance were used to completely level the installation. Intelligence had found out that the signal also went out to space and the post bombardment assessment showed that although the enemy there had been completely wiped out with no survivors, DNA-replication proved the suspicion that General Phyncx was not found under the casualties, or what was left of them.

"I'll kill all of them. Every ship, every base, destroy everything they have. Wipe out everything that means something to…" SunTzu's voice rose and his face showed his hate.

"Stop!" Setsuna, who had stood up and turned to him, yelled out.

"Stop." She said much softer and more quiet and sat down again. SunTzu stopped his tirade, looking at her in surprise.

"Why should I? What's left for me other than revenge?" SunTzu asked, his voice more calm and quiet now also.

Their gazes met for a moment and then Setsuna sighed and looked to the ground for a moment before she looked back at SunTzu.

"If you really want me, than show me that you can keep yourself under control. I need a partner for eternity and a father figure for Hotaru, not a monster that is obsessed with war and revenge. I understand your pain, very well that is, trust me. I have been there. The only man that I consider making me a griefing widow had been there as well. I know how this pain feels."

She paused for a moment, SunTzu could hear on her fragile voice and her gaze that I brought painful memories to her to talk about that and he immediately felt guilt for hurting her.

"I made my peace with a lot of things, including the possibility to loose the ones I care the most for but this doesn't mean that I don't will step up if they're going to throw away their life."

Tears, unbeknownst to SunTzu partly because she was feeling guilty for everything he had to endure in the last year up until now, dwelled up in her eyes and she suddenly grabbed with her hands around his flanks and used them to pull herself close so she could bed her head on his lower stomach.

"I am sorry that you have to go trough all this. I wish you didn't had to."

SunTzu could feel drops of warm wetness on his patient gown and his hand wandered onto her head and began to pat it gently.

For a few moments they just stayed liked this. And then SunTzu flustered something, his eyes looking in front of him but onto nothing particularly, his eyes staring onto something two thousand yards away.

"I still will have my revenge. I will kill Phyncx."

Setsuna's tears had already dried again but as she closed her eyes, a last drop landed on SunTzu's shirt, as her right hand reached onto his waist and she tightened the contact between them. She had known that not even she would be able to talk SunTzu out of his revenge. Was she able allowed to stop him after his losses? After all this, after all he had to go through because they couldn't stop Chaos on their own?

And yet, his touch on her head was so gentle, so full of love for her. Setsuna fought down the urge to start crying again. She had to be strong, for him. She was the one who could built him up if nobody else could.

Suddenly it knocked on the door and while SunTzu stopped rubbing Setsuna's head and pulled back his hand from that sea of dark green hair and a split second later Setsuna's head shot up and both turned their heads to the door.

Said door glided open and revealed Rei, with Yuichiro a step behind her.

She forced a smile on her obviously worried face.

"Rei, hey." SunTzu let out and the Senshi of Passion turned around to her boyfriend for a moment.

"I'll wait here." Yuichiro said and both nodded at each other, before Rei turned around again and walked up to SunTzu.

Setsuna got up as Rei came closer and cleared her throat.

"I should see my other patients", she said and left the room but not before turning around again in the moment Rei sat down on the chair next to SunTzu, the one she just had been sitting in.

Rei and SunTzu watched as the door closed and then she turned to him.

"Did we disturb you guys?"

SunTzu with a small shake of his head and Rei nodded with an equally small nod before she let out a deep breather.

"Phew… you got me slightly worried there."

SunTzu didn't answer, and just looked at the wall in front of him.

"How is your leg?" Rei asked trying to mask her insecurity. The minutes until someone radioed in and said that SunTzu was alive were some of the hardest in her life, even with Yuichiro holding her tight. But when she heard SunTzu had been the only survivor she knew how heavy his pain would be. They hadn't been talking much lately as both were busy but Rei could see how much SunTzu had loved his unit and was immensely proud of it.

"It's healing. I was lucky I guess. Once again."

A soft, delicate hand grasped around his.

"I know this is hard for you. But I thank the gods that at least you made it." Rei's eyes filled up with tears but before they could break out she felt a gentle rubbing on her hand.

"Thank you, Rei. Thanks for caring for me."

She forced herself to a smile before she wiped her eyes.

"Baka. Of course I care for you."

For a moment they just sat there before Rei spoke again.

"I'm sorry to have put that burden on you. If I wouldn't have pushed it, you probably wouldn't have been placed into the ground troops."

And wouldn't have to feel this pain of loss now…

"As far as I remember I was a firm supporter of the idea and the bill. Don't take the blame for something that isn't your fault, Rei."

She closed her eyes again and nodded.

"How long do you have to stay here? You look like you could use a cigarette."

Against all his pain and anger SunTzu had to smile now.

"Yeah."

He felt a squeeze on his hand before Rei pulled her hand back and stood up.

"Good, then I guess I'll ask that hottie that is your doctor when they disband you." She said with a small smile.

SunTzu's gaze followed her out and when she arrived at the door she turned around again.

"Hey TopGun, I'm glad you're still around to get annoyed by me." She said with a bigger smile.

"Sure thing, I can't keep it to Yuichiro alone to look out for you my dear Moeru Shōjo." He replied with a smile as well.

Both shared another, honest smile and then she opened the door and left. Before the door closed again, SunTzu and Yuichiro shared a nod between them, a silent greeting.

And SunTzu also noticed Master Cilghal waiting on the other side of the door. Of course he could think about why she had herself posted there.

Okay, maybe Setsuna had been right, maybe he should calm down. At least until he had a real chance at revenge.

I'll find Phyncx and then I'll make him feel my pain… but before that I have to heal. And we have to find that bastard first…

Rei had told Yuichiro that she needed to talk with Setsuna and said her goodbye with a small peck on his cheeks before she sat down in the waiting area.

A few minutes later a seemingly exhausted Setsuna came to the reception of the med bay, a datapad in her hand.

After Setsuna had talked with two nurses and had given the pad to one, Rei got up and approached her.

"You look tired." Rei said to Setsuna, while the later was signing papers on the desk of the reception, back to the waiting area. "Let's grab some tea?" Rei continued as Setsuna had turned around. The exhaustion in her face was completely visible now and Rei began to ask herself if Setsuna had taken a break from watching SunTzu at all. Also she noticed the redness in her friend's eyes.

"I... actually... I really could use one right now." Was the Emerald-haired's answer. "Just let me finish signing these papers."

Setsuna finished and just as they were about to go, the other Outers appeared in the med-bay.

"Setsuna, is it true, that he's awake?" Haruka asked, voice fast.

"He is. I'm sure he would like to see you guys." It was actually Rei who answered and patted the still worried looking Hotaru's head. "Setsuna needs a break, we'll have a tea, why you guys don't visit him in the meantime."

Michiru took a look at Setsuna and then at Rei, both psychics gazes met and both of them understood.

"Do me a favor and don't bring up his platoon." Setsuna chimed in now.

"Uhm… sure. Can we go see him now?" Haruka was excited, she had worried a lot.

"Yes, Haruka, let's go. C'mon Hotaru." Michiru replied and she took her arm around the quiet Hotaru who also got a head pat from her mother before they left for SunTzu's room.

A few minutes later Rei and Setsuna were sitting at a table at the closest mess hall.

Both just had sat down, steaming cups of tea in front of them.

Rei had been observing Setsuna for the whole time, the oldest of the Senshi was way apart from being well. Most people wouldn't have noticed but who really knew Setsuna saw the cracks in her usual demeanor.

"A warm tea does miracles, doesn't it?" The only answer was an absent nod from Setsuna, before the doctor's gaze went back to the inside of her tea cup. It was time for Rei to go for a frontal assault.

"I saw you on the bridge and on the way to the hangar. You felt his pain, didn't you?"

Tired crimson-colored eyes shot her a look but not more.

"Setsuna, as someone who has been bound to his soul before, have your ever thought about that he might be supposed to be your soulmate? I mean look at you? You say you want to keep your distance but everytime something happens to him, your shell breaks and everybody that knows you the littlest can see how much it affects you."

"I… Rei, has anybody ever thought how it is for me? I lost both the men that I truly loved since… since I ever got to walk on Earth. I can't get over my fear to loose him and it gets worse when I get closer to him. And if you ask me like that, you know that I already had a soulmate." Setsuna begun to rub the scar on her wrist again as it began itching again, while Rei just looked at her for a moment.

"What if he's the reincarnation?"

Setsuna closed her eyes for a moment.

"I had the same suspicion alright. But you know what that would also mean. You know where SunTzu is from."

Rei fell silent and looked at her cup of tea for a moment.

"I'm sorry. I… I forgot."

"It's okay. It's actually not this." Setsuna's eyes hit Rei. "It's… even when I think about it, i want to keep a distance to save him, and probably myself as well. He already brought distance in with leaving us and although I was furious with him for that, Chronos, I still am, he is doing the complete opposite when it comes to me now. But I just can't get over this fear, Rei. When I saw that explosion, felt his pain... I just wanted to be with him, hold him, but then he's here and it takes all my strength to let my self just hug him because I'm afraid that someone will take him away from me and it will break me again."

Rei's hands closed around Setsuna's hand.

"You know what I told you in Washington. No one is pushing you but sometimes you have to listen to your heart."

Setsuna looked at the two hands folded around hers.

"Maybe I should go and check on him."

Rei's face showed a smile.

"Yes, maybe you should."

Their gazes met before Setsuna got up.

"Can you…"

"You're cup, of course."

Rei smiled at her again and Setsuna nodded thankfully before she left, leaving Rei behind, observing her retreat.

I really hope that was enough, but I doubt it…

Setsuna went back to the med bay and just as she entered, the other Outers came towards her.

They told her that Artemis and Mamoru were visiting him. The Neo-Queen was still busy so.

Busy with writing letters to the families of Delta-Two. Luna, Minako and Chibiusa were there with her but Mamoru had hinted that it was immensely hard for the Queen to do so. It was more or less unspoken but Usagi felt the same guilt as Rei and Setsuna, all of them. What more would they still make him go through?

At least they held up, Setsuna thought as she looked at her daughter and her Outer Sisters. The three women seemed to be better, knowing that SunTzu was awake again. Matter fact, Michiru took Setsuna aside as Haruka went to the reception with Hotaru, asking for those lollipops they always had on display there.

Michiru told Setsuna that it had been better than she had hoped for. Haruka and SunTzu had mocked each other, both holding hands with the other while SunTzu's other hand held Hotaru's.

"Get some rest ma sœur. You look like tired."

"I'll just make sure SunTzu gets some well-needed rest in as well."

Michiru wheezed and looked away, typically Setsuna.

"Promise me that you'll rest also."

"Promise."

Michiru's hand patted Setsuna's head.

"You'll save him."

Setsuna's hand grabbed Michiru's while the latter was stroking over her cheek and held it tight against it for a moment, her eyes closed.

"I really hope so…"

A small smile greeted the older Senshi when she opened her eyes again.

"You do."

Michiru had to stand on her tip toes to do so but she kissed Setsuna on the forehead before she let go.

"You know where to find me."

"Thanks."

And then Michiru walked away, picking up the other two Outers with laying her arms around them and directing them out.

Setsuna walked up to SunTzu's room and entered.

King Endymion and Admiral Artemis were standing next to the bed and the three men were talking, not taking notice of the doctor entering the room.

SunTzu could make out that Endymion and Artemis were questioning SunTzu about what happened

"Your Highness, Admiral. I'm sorry but the Captain is not in a condition to be questioned yet. Please let him rest until he is." Her formal address had made it clear that she was talking as a doctor here.

"Excuse our approach then." Endymion apologized for the two of them to both Setsuna and SunTzu. "We'll leave SunTzu to take rest then." Endymion turned back to SunTzu. "Get well SunTzu. Let us know if you need anything."

Both men left the room and Setsuna stepped forward to SunTzu. His stare showed her that he wasn't doing well.

"How are you?" She asked with a gentle voice.

"I'm tired." A move of his leg. "And the itching annoys me."

Setsuna took a look at his injured leg. The itching meant it was healing, although she was a bit surprised that It took so long. Was he building up a tolerance for Bacta?

"I can give you a pain-killer, that should at least help you sleep." She paused. "Oh, and I need a blood sample. You know for your measures."

SunTzu nodded and Setsuna fetched the syringe from a roll-fronted cupboard. She took the blood sample like the professional she was, it didn't hurt at all and even applying a plaster on the spot didn't even took twenty seconds. She handed him two pills and a bottle of water afterwards and he took the medication.

"Would you mind to stay until I sleep?"

"Not at all. Just let me bring the blood sample away, okay?" She answered and left the room, coming back shortly after.

She smiled at him at she sat down again.

"I am right here, okay?" SunTzu nodded gratefully and Setsuna grabbed the book she had been reading before again, as he

A minute later SunTzu was quietly snoring and Setsuna couldn't hide a small smile to see him finally have some peaceful rest.

She looked at her wrist watch, it was the middle of the night cycle, but she decided to stay a bit longer, just in case.

She stretched out as well and grabbed the book she was reading earlier again.

One hour later, Setsuna had been looking up from her book, written by the man he had his name from, at SunTzu every few minutes, the door glided open and Minako, wearing a doctor's coat as well, entered. The Blonde quietly walked over to Setsuna, who had gotten up.

"Get some rest, I'll take it from here. And no, I don't want to hear protest. When was the last time you ate something?"

That was a good question Setsuna had to confess and as soon as it had been spoken of, her stomach began to demand for food.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of him."

Setsuna nodded and Minako greeted her with a small smile before she left and before Minako sat down next to SunTzu, greeting him with a quietly spoken "Hello Posterboy."

Setsuna finished her work and went to have a late dinner.

She was eating in solitude, the other Outers were already in their quarters and sleeping sound.

Maria had told her that the Taskforce would leave the planet tomorrow morning. And that the morgue had gotten the order to prepare the remains of Delta-Two for a space burial.

She wasn't sure if she should tell SunTzu about it, was he ready to let his troops go? Was he ready to go to the burial? Would it break him again, drive him over the edge?

Having finished her meal, Setsuna slid her chair away from the table and let out a sigh. On the other side, shouldn't he have the chance to say goodbye to his soldiers?

She had planned to go to bed and rest, she really needed some, the throbbing in her head was proof of that, but somehow, something told her to go back to the med bay again, just to check on SunTzu again.

You wanted to keep your distance and now you can't even go to bed without seeing him. Way to go, Setsuna…

Minako stood over SunTzu, he was still sleeping, soundly that was, but he was tossing and turning, apparently he had a very bad dream. Still thinking about to wake him up she noticed that the door glided open, as she tried to keep him in place.

"Nightmare?"

"Apparently. I thought you wanted to take a break. And get some rest."

As Setsuna arrived next to the bed, SunTzu immediately began to calm down, at least a bit, earning her a dumbfounded look from Minako.

"What did you do?"

Setsuna kept her gaze on SunTzu.

"I'll take it from here again."

"You need sleep."

"Don't worry about me. Get some sleep yourself, Minako."

"Yes, Mum." The Blonde joked, earning her a wry grin from Setsuna.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do as well." Minako told her before she left with a wink.

Minako grinned at Setsuna as she began to walk away, turning off most of the lights in the room as she reached the door.

The door just had closed, Setsuna was still standing at the bed, the room lighted by just a small lamp, when SunTzu suddenly jolted up again.

"Shhhh." A hand on his chest put him down in the sheets again. "It was just a nightmare."

"Setsuna." A pause, in which SunTzu just stared at the wall again.

"Think you can sleep again?"

"I… I don't know. Can you… is it okay if you stay here until I sleep again? I know you need your rest as well and should get it."

"Oh, I will." She began to take off her doctor's coat. "Got some room left there?" She motioned to the hospital bed he was laying and for a moment SunTzu just stared at her in disbelief.

"You have to be fit tomorrow, so you need to sleep sound." She said as she pulled down her shoes.

"Why's that?"

Before she answered Setsuna climbed in the bed and SunTzu made room for her and helped her with one hand.

"We will leave the planet tomorrow. Your platoon. They will get a proper space burial, we're not going back to Earth yet." She said as she laid down next to him, a small gap between them.

Immediately SunTzu's demeanor changed again.

"You think you can join the ceremony? I'm worried that it might be too much."

"I… It's the last time I can say goodbye."

"Very well. We have to see your legs tomorrow morning though. And now try to sleep."

"Can you…"

Setsuna knew what he wanted to ask, nothing more than that.

She closed the gap between them and her hand cupped his cheek, for a moment she just caressed him and looked at him.

"I know that it hurts. And I know you want revenge but I'm afraid to loose you if you give in to your anger."

A hand now cupped her cheek, they were close to each other, just a few centimeters distance separated their lips and each of them was looking deep into the eyes of the other.

"I learned my lesson. You're not going to loose me."

"Someone told me this before, I wish I still could trust these words." Setsuna turned her head to the side.

"I'm sorry you had to endure so much in your life."

"And I'm sorry I just ruined the moment. I wish it would be easier for me to let go of the fear. But loosing the man you love, twice, does this to you."

His hands grabbed around her, while he tried to not put weight on his wounded leg as he pulled her close to him.

"I'm sorry."

Her hand slipped away from his face and instead both hands now grabbed around him and she embraced him. Her forehead rested on his chest. For a moment she didn't answer, if someone understood pain than it was him so she was sure that he really was sorry.

"I know it's difficult to keep up with me." She swallowed hard. "Thank you for not being pushy. Please, keep it up, it's not that I don't want to fall for you. I do enjoy your suiting for me, it's just this anxiety." She was looking into his face again, there was pain in her expression. "I know I'm hurting you with me pushing you away."

"Ssssh, it's all good." SunTzu said, a hand slowly running through her hair. "I know my actions sometimes doesn't make it any easier for you as well. She pressed herself against him. His answer was a yawn. "Sorry, I think we should get some rest now." SunTzu said, his speech making clear that he was falling asleep. The medication and the healing process taking it's toll on him. Not that Setsuna was any less exhausted.

She nodded into his chest and twenty seconds later she could hear now his breathing had become steady. A small glimpse at his face confirmed that he had fallen asleep.

Setsuna didn't move, and stayed there just staring at his face for a moment, before she flustered.

"I know you want your revenge. But please, don't loose yourself in your anger and pain."

SunTzu was in front of the barracks of Delta-Two back on Crystal Tokyo. The sun was shining, the birds were singing this morning, it was a beautiful spring day. Something urged him to enter the barracks and as he opened the door he could see that the whole platoon was there. All of them, some of them sitting on their bunk beds, some of them standing next to each other chatting, all of them a grin on their faces, seemingly being happy.

SunTzu stopped a few meters in front of them and the heads of the soldiers turned to their platoon commander.

How could that be?

And then he realized. It was a dream, he was in a dream. But it felt different, more vivid, more real. And he wasn't a lucid dreamer.

No, this wasn't a dream, this was a Vision, probably through the Force.

SunTzu completely aware of everything in the dream, that he was sleeping, he could even feel Setsuna's presence next to him. Did she knew he was having a vision?

Before he could ask himself more the soldiers formed in front of him and the Gunny stepped forward.

"Sir, Platoon completely assembled." All soldiers stood at attention now.

"At ease."

And suddenly all the emotions hit him again. Everything was so much better with Setsuna around but now it felt twice as bad. The pain, the sorrow, the guilt, the anger everything rushed into him at once. His stomach turned around and it felt like he was about to loose the ground beneath his feet.

"Captain." It sounded off from forty two people at once.

"Stand strong, Captain", the Gunny continued.

"We couldn't have wished for a better leader, right till the end."

SunTzu closed his eyes and let out a big sigh.

"I failed you… all of you… just because you were with me, you all had to die."

"Sir…" That was Lance Corporal Davies. "Without you all of us wouldn't have lived that long. Earth would had have fallen already."

"I can't hug my daugthers anymore but you made sure they get to see tomorrow." The Gunny took over again.

"Don't let your anger and your pain win. Light has to prevail and this means you cannot fall." Davies continued.

"You have to go now, Captain. Continue the good fight."

The soldiers all straightened up again and then saluted.

"Delta-Two, Tree Shredders." Ortiz bellowed and then everyone yelled out as one.

"For Kingdom and Neo-Queen!"

Tears began to form in SunTzu's eyes but within a second he was awake again.

SunTzu took a deep breather, although a quiet one, Setsuna was snuggled close to him, sleeping deeply, her arms laid around him and all it took to stop his tears was seeing her next to him and even more, the feeling of her proximity. He wiped his tears away with his hand.

Both his platoon, if that had been his platoon, maybe it had been the Force, maybe even both, and Setsuna had told him to let go of his pain and anger

Still easier said than done…

But then his gaze fell back on Setsuna, one of her hands had slipped down and was now on his stomach.

Could he?

Slow and carefully his hand slipped down his side until it closed around Setsuna's and when he could feel that she gently reciprocated the touch a faint smile formed on his face, how she had that power to make everything better. One touch of her hand and even the pain was more bearable.

I love you…

And then the tiredness overcame him again and he fell asleep for another time.

Setsuna woke up in the early hours of the day cycle, SunTzu was sleeping deeply. She smiled, at least he could find some rest. She had felt something earlier, some unrest but apparently he had found back to sleep almost immediately again.

Her head was still cuddled onto his chest and she looked at her hand, slowly realizing what she saw. They were holding hands and the realization made her cheeks light up. And it also felt so natural, so good, so familiar. But no, she had to get away, as wonderful as it felt, it made the fear in her soul grow. He had needed her closeness to sleep, that had to be enough. And they weren't out of the forest yet, who knew what kind of effect the burial would have on him. No, he wasn't everything but stable right now and her closeness could make it worse.

Her gaze wandered up to his face again, he was still peacefully sound.

Carefully to not change that she began to move away from him and got up. She stretched herself and than grabbed her doctor's coat. After putting it on again, she checked the time.

There still was some time left until the ward round so she decided to head to her quarters first. She hadn't slept much but she felt energized, had that been caused by sleeping next to SunTzu?

She looked at him again, the urge to kiss him goodbye dwelling in her chest.

No, she couldn't. She just couldn't, the hole in her soul told her so. It would have been too much proximity, too much intimacy, too much of giving in to her feelings. And she couldn't afford that, there was too much fear, too much old pain.

Her eyes betraying herself with their look of longing she left the room, beginning to ask herself why they could only be together in their most vulnerable moments.

SunTzu was awoken from the ward round and soon after that the King appeared again.

Endymion excused his wife, the losses, all of them on this mission, were heavily weighing her down. Minako and Setsuna were with her, checking her health condition as she had almost fainted.

What Mamoru didn't tell SunTzu, that apart from the pain of loosing her men, the guilt of having sent them to death was too much for her as well. And the guilt for how much pain they were forcing on her Guardian of Guardians came on top.

The King gave SunTzu the details for the funeral and also asked him if he felt well enough to join, which SunTzu affirmed.

He owned his platoon to be there for their last deployment. This was the least.

One hour after leaving the planet of Varonat the ships of the Taskforce had positioned themselves in a honorary formation in front of the large purple sun of the system.

The Voyager, AICA and Terra Squadron hovered in place in a line in front of the right hangars of the Eternal.

Fourty-five coffins had been lined up in rows of five, the KIA'd soldiers of the Taskforce on that mission, fourty-two of them members of the second platoon of Delta Company, Third Battalion.

SunTzu's leg was healing but the Bacta didn't work as well as had done before so SunTzu, reluctant to use a crutch, still had pain while he walked and was supported by Minako while walking over from the medbay.

He was wearing uniform although he just had the jacket thrown over his shoulders, and he also had removed all his medals from his chest.

Even if the Ghosts of his Platoon and Setsuna wanted him to make peace with what happened, he still felt miserable.

Good thing that Minako was here, her own, special ways and her positive demeanor at least didn't make things for his mind worse.

SunTzu and Minako arrived as the last in the hangar, everybody else, Royals, the Senshi that weren't in their starfighters, Artemis, Luna, she was holding her husband's hand, Royal Guard and Wolves in honorary cordon and the other soldiers of the company and officers of the battalion as well as the members of the other units affected.

The ceremony would have started already but a visibly shaken Neo Queen had ordered to wait for the Platoon Leader of Delta-Two.

Hundreds of heads turned into SunTzu's direction as he entered, supported by Minako, a cold, grim look on his face.

All of the attendants' heads turned to him, except one.

Setsuna, transformed and in espalier right behind her majesties, had her usual Ice Queen Stare on and kept her eyes on the rows of durasteel caskets.

SunTzu didn't walk into the formations, instead he stayed back on his own, just supported by Minako in the back.

That was until Sailor Mercury and Neo Queen Serenity locked eyes and both nodded before Sailor Mercury fell out of rank and walked over to SunTzu to support his other side.

The ceremony began and after the Taskforce's clerics, the Taskforce had clerics from every world religion onboard, lead by Rei and Yuichiro held a small procession, a small adress from the King, the Queen was too fragile to do one, followed before the coffins were one by one channeled out of the hangar shield and with the Eternal's tractor beams guided towards the system's sun. Each was sent off with adressing the name and rank of the fallen soldier inside.

SunTzu stood there the whole procession, hands held by Minako and Ami, as the first coffin of his platoon made it's way a few silent tears began to flow.

It is said, you sometimes fell the love for something the most when you lost it. This was the case for SunTzu. He really had loved his soldiers, those brave and hearty young people, who gave their life to save the Galaxy. It wasn't fair.

The last ones to leave the Taskforce were Sergeant Jones, Davies and the Gunny, a last deep sting into SunTzu's heart as those were the ones who almost constantly had been around him.

When Corporal Davies's coffin, she had posthumously been promoted, SunTzu noticed that her brother was the one who lead the repulsor-sled with the coffin to the hangar gate. The poor man was completely done, he couldn't even cry anymore but he still stayed at the hangar gate and quietly watched the coffin take course towards the purple fire the sun of the system was.

After the last of the coffins was on his way and they were all on their way with the first coffins probably getting engulfed by the sun in a few seconds, the ceremony ended and the attending soldiers and officers marched away in formation, leaving only a handful of people in quiet mourning back.

One of them was SunTzu, still supported by Ami, as Minako was needed in the med bay, and Rhians's brother Owen.

As the hangar emptied more and more SunTzu pat Ami's hand and let go before he walked over to the older Davies Brother, his steps sluggish, and the pain of every step visible in his face. Ami followed one step behind as SunTzu made his way.

Sergeant Owen Davies, his gaze focused on a spot a millions miles away, saw the officer coming his way and turned towards SunTzu. A moment later stopped in front of the man.

"Sergeant."

"Captain."

Tired, red eyes of broken men met each other a moment before SunTzu's gaze fell to the floor.

"Your sister was a good soldier."

"Thank you, Sir. She always told me how honored she was to serve under a war hero."

I'm not a war hero, just a broken soul…

SunTzu swallowed hard, trying to keep his composure up and not break down completely. Ami had posted herself to his side.

"She always looked up to you Sergeant." SunTzu said with his voice low. And then tears began to flow free over his face. "I'm sorry that I couldn't protect her."

Owen began to cry as well now but he extended his hand towards SunTzu.

"Thank you for caring for her. I heard you and Miss Aino did what you could to save her. Rhian always said that you were an outstanding platoon leader who cared as much as possible for his soldiers."

SunTzu looked at the hand for a moment, dumbfounded that the man who had just lost his sister because the whole Galaxy was out to get who ever was close with him, wanted so say his thanks to him, the man responsible for her death.

And then he took the hand and the two crying man looked at each other for a moment.

"Count on me to make them pay for that."

SunTzu nodded as answer to Owen's vow and they ended their handshake.

"If you excuse me now. I have to call our… my parents."

Owen left and SunTzu stayed behind, looking at the purple sun and the row of coffins moving towards it, still crying, while Ami put a hand on his shoulder, to let him know he wasn't alone.