Chapter 4 - I'm A Person
"Hey!" Obi-Wan yelps as Anakin shakes himself wildly, throwing drops of water in every direction. "I told you to stop doing that."
Anakin looks up at him innocently, jumping past him out of the shower, his paws tracking water onto the floor right outside.
It's not his fault that the Jedi decided his wolf form needed a shower. Aren't the fountains in the Room of One Thousand Foundations good enough for staying clean?
Not that he minds necessarily. He kind of likes being in water, after spending so many years not even knowing so much water in one place could exist. Still feels like wasting water, though.
Obi-Wan very disgruntledly wipes his face off, standing. "Come on. I don't know why I agreed to this."
Anakin barks, rubbing against his leg.
Which is mostly to show affection but maybe also a tiny bit to hear Obi-Wan's very dramatic groan. "What did I just say about getting me all wet?" he huffs.
Anakin barks innocently, wagging his tail.
You're the one who got me wet.
Obi-Wan still doesn't seem to understand him, even if he's been here for well over a month now. He didn't know he could start getting comfortable here but it's... happening. Slowly. He still doesn't trust the Jedi but he definitely trusts Ahsoka and he's beginning to trust Obi-Wan a little bit too.
Even if that's only because Obi-Wan thinks he's a dog and that gives him a certain level of... comfort. No one takes him seriously if that's how they see him. They give him attention, but not too much attention.
Being in his animal form has often been easier that way.
Sometimes he doesn't feel like he's more than that, anyway.
He's a person and he'll never forget that but he's always been owned and he... he gave up hope of that changing after Sidious took him.
Anakin trails Obi-Wan up to his room – he's done that a couple times recently – climbing in bed next to him.
He did it first one night just to annoy him and it had worked spectacularly but by the time Obi-Wan was done grouching about it, he seemed to like the idea of Anakin staying. It had been... kind of weird but it's been a very long time since he got to snuggle in bed next to someone – next to a parent figure of sorts.
He – he wants someone to take care of him. No one has since Mom. He's probably old enough that he shouldn't need that anymore but he still wants it and... this is something even if he only gets the kind of care an animal does.
It's more than he got from Sidious.
He snuggles up against Obi-Wan's side, ignoring the Knight's grumble of "don't drool on my pillow this time" as he makes himself comfortable enough to fall asleep.
**w**
"Are you sureeeeee you can't show me?" Ahsoka asks, reaching up to stroke Anakin's head in the totally-not hope of bribing him to agree.
It was bizarre to find out, out of nowhere, that he's apparently a sentient wolf. But for some reason it hadn't surprised her that much. What did surprise her was the news she found out later... that he's not only a wolf but apparently he has a human form? She doesn't understand what that even means but she's dying of curiosity and it's all she's been able to think about for days.
The wolf nuzzles against the side of her lekku, the fur as ticklish as ever. "It's dangerous," he says, in her mind.
There's something strangely soft about the way he always talks even if it carries a burning intensity to it that she's never seen on anyone before. Is his mental voice is the same as his physical one?
"But no one's gonna find us here," Ahsoka insists, throwing a swift glance up and down one of the hallways of the Jedi Temple. The hallways are so wide it's easy to stand off to the side and go mostly unnoticed. Especially because Ahsoka went to find a side room that doesn't appear to have an important purpose. Well, it probably has one but no one's presently occupying it. She took him here so they could have a moment where all the other younglings weren't swarming around him, trying to get his attention.
She sort of wishes she could sneak him to her room at night but the masters still won't allow him in the youngling area unsupervised even if they'll allow him everywhere else. That seems very unfair.
Anakin hesitates. "I don't want them to find me."
"You've said that before," she says sullenly, "But we have time now." She doesn't sense anyone right nearby and she'd feel it if someone was coming. "And even if someone did come, they wouldn't know you didn't belong here, right?"
The wolf's head twists towards the door for a few moments before he deflates, taking a few steps away from her.
She's half expecting him to refuse again but then she senses the strangest shift in the Force around him. Sort of like something is changing and being rewritten in someone's Force presence even if Anakin's feel in the Force doesn't waver at all from the brilliant star it always is. The sensation only lasts for a moment before she sees the wolf start shifting.
It happens so fast but she still sees far too much of the details of his body twisting and changing and all his fur vanishing and his limbs growing longer, until what's standing in front of her is... a boy who's actually significantly taller than her. He has slightly long curly blonde hair and bright blue eyes.
Somehow she still thought his eyes would be yellow.
Ahsoka doesn't think it truly sunk in until right now he's a person. Just like her. A person who also has a very strong connection to the Dark Side. She can still feel that distinctly, even while he's in human form.
He's wearing entirely black robes that are distinctly different from the kind of robes Jedi wear.
And now that she's staring at his human form, she suddenly feels ridiculously speechless with absolutely no idea what to say.
"Hi?" she supplies.
...That sounded silly. They were literally just talking to each other.
"Does this satisfy your curiosity?" Anakin asks, an amused smile flickering across his face. His voice does sound the same.
"Yeah," she agrees, blinking a few times, "I sort of thought you'd look scarier."
Anakin laughs. "Why?"
"I thought you were a Sith hound!" What else was she supposed to expect?
"I am."
The words make her pause. "Wait... are you a Sith?" That can't be right. He looks too light and cheerful even if she can feel darkness around him. Sith are evil. He certainly isn't.
Anakin hesitates. "I was meant to be."
He was?
"What do you mean?"
"I – I was created to be the Dog of the Sith. That's what I am. The Sith way is... the only way I know."
She hates the uneasiness that skyrockets inside of her instantly. She's been best friends with a Sith? But that doesn't even... she knows what the Jedi have always taught about them and that's not what she sees but now that she's staring at a human instead of a wolf, it almost feels like she's seeing him for the first time. "You really are a Sith," she repeats, only half sure what to think or – or anything.
Anakin's expression falters. He almost seems afraid, or nervous at least. She can't really tell. "Ahsoka, I – I know what you think of the Sith but I don't mean to harm you or anyone here. I – "
He cuts off sharply, freezing.
Ahsoka was so distracted with the realization of what Anakin was that she forgot to listen for someone coming.
"Hide!" she hisses, nearly visibly cringing as Plo steps into the room before Anakin can make an effort to run anywhere.
He's mid-way to transforming back to a wolf but there's no way Plo didn't see that. Great. Anakin had said so specifically that he didn't want anyone to know. She didn't mean to make him get caught!
"Um – Hi!" she blurts. Okay, stupid. Good way to look suspicious. "Why're you – "
"What's going on here?" Plo asks, looking between them. He seems confused, but very suspicious.
"We uhh were escaping the other younglings."
The wolf slinks a few steps backward, looking between Plo and the door which he's completely blocking.
"Why did he look like a human when I came in?"
She cringes. "Oh um I don't know. I think his Force connection because he's a Tuk'ata thingy lets him look different sometimes for some reason." What? It's true. And she's not saying he can't do that as animal so maybe that's what he'll assume.
But that hope quickly evaporates when Plo steps up to her, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Little 'Soka, if there's something you know about him, you need to tell us. Who I saw in here was not an animal."
Oh come on.
Is she being that obvious?
Ugh.
Poor Anakin.
He feels scared and she didn't mean to make this happen but she can't really lie to cover it up anymore. Plo won't believe her and she feels bad about trying to lie to him anyway. Especially when he's one of the masters who she's supposed to respect. "Because he's... not one?"
"He's a person?" the Kel Dor asks, slowly turning to look at him, like he's seeing him for the first time.
Anakin's tail droops and then he shifts again, back to his human form. He crosses his arms, taking another step away – though he's practically backed against the wall so he doesn't have anywhere else to go.
Ahsoka doesn't understand why he's so afraid if he's not planning to hurt anyone but she still hates seeing it.
Plo is staring at him incredulously. "All this time... Why did you not tell us?" he asks.
Anakin looks no less wary. "What does it matter to you? You'll hold me prisoner either way."
"...You're a Sith, aren't you?"
The moment of hesitation says more than enough. "Yes."
Plo looks thoroughly baffled. "I... believe I need to explain this to the Council. Come," he requests, gesturing for the door.
Anakin's expression is pretty much entirely closed off, but she can tell he's scared. And miserable. And it makes her feel awful because this is all her fault and now that it's actually happening she can understand why he was so worried because she has no idea how the Council will react.
"Master Plo?" Ahsoka calls after him, biting her lip.
He pauses, looking back.
"Is – is he gonna be alright? He wasn't hurting anyone."
"He'll be fine, Little 'Soka. Don't worry about it."
She wants to believe it. She knows the Council will make the right choice and maybe her emotions are clouding her judgement but she doesn't want anything to happen to him.
**w**
He feels like he's at an auction or something from how all the Jedi masters in the Council chamber are staring at him. They sit in a semi-circle around the room so they're looking at him from all sides. And the only way out is the large sliding doors behind him but since two Council members are sitting close to them, on either side, he'd never be able to run fast enough to get out.
The ceiling towers way over him and the windows are enormous, overlooking the endless cityscape of Coruscant. The sheer size of it makes him feel even more out of place and trapped.
Weird to think that Windu was playing fetch with him only a couple weeks ago. He rather doubts he'll be that... nice again, not from the way he's scrutinizing him. They know what he is and they'll know he's been hiding it all this time and they're masters and he has no idea what that's going to mean for him. He's their worst enemy.
Anakin has no idea what they're going to do to him now. He crosses his arms, keeping his head held high, refusing to show the fear eating him inside out. He tries to let it fuel his anger the way Sidious taught him, just this once. It's easier than being afraid, even if nothing can quite stop the fear burning in his heart. He really wishes he hadn't agreed to show Ahsoka what he was – not that he can blame her for wanting to see. She's young and she was curious. It's not her fault but... He still really regrets agreeing.
"What's your name?" Plo inquires. Why would that matter to them?
"Anakin Skywalker."
"Realize you were human, we did not," Yod says, ears drooping. "Contained you like an animal, we would not have."
Yes.
Sure.
As if they aren't about to do something worse now that they know he's a Sith. "What do you want with me?" Anakin asks. That's what will really show... anything. It's what's most important
"What are your intentions?" Windu demands.
His?
As if that's their business but it's probably fair that they're worried. He is their arch-enemy and could be plotting someone's murder for all they know. The best thing to do would be to pacify them if he wants to get out of this being hurt as little as possible – if he gets out alive at all. "I... Nothing against your Order." Doesn't want to say too much either in case they use it again him. More like when they use it against him.
"You must be the apprentice," Windu muses, "Were you on a mission for your master when we found you?"
His unease swells instantly. They aren't going to stop pressing for details, are they? "No. I – I escaped him."
The Jedi masters exchange glances, mostly surprised or disbelieving.
"Left him, you did?" Yoda clarifies.
"...Yes."
"Who is he?" Windu asks, "You have to know."
No.
No.
He can't answer that question. He can't. If Sidious knows he's said anything he'll – Force.
"I – I don't know his real identity. I've never seen his face." He tries not to let his sheer desperation show but there's no way they can't hear how loudly his heart is pounding suddenly.
"You have to know something. Describe him," Windu demands.
Find something to say. Anything else. What'll they do to him if he doesn't cooperate? Probably nothing worse than Sidious or even nearly as bad. Doesn't stop the fear, though.
"Why should I help you?" Anakin retaliates. The least he can do is try to stall them, maybe. Dealy giving them any answers, not that it will change the outcome.
"You're not as lost to the Dark Side as I would say your master is," Plo says, leaning forward, "You must know of whatever plans he has for the galaxy, the harm he intends to cause. He may have told you it's right but I'm sure you've already seen the pain he's causing."
That... that wasn't what he expected to hear.
Anakin bites his lip, hands clenching.
He doesn't believe in everything Sidious is doing but he doesn't trust the Jedi either. He doesn't know that helping them is really the right answer. They're the ones who killed Maul. He can never forget that.
Even if Sidious has hurt Maul.
He killed Shmi.
He knows that what Sidious is doing is wrong but that doesn't change that the Jedi hurt Mul. They aren't any better, are they?
But –
What would Mom want of him? He doesn't know where that came from unbidden. He was so afraid of what Sidious was going to force him to do when he was older. He might believe in the Sith way but that doesn't mean the things Sidious told him he would have to do ever felt right. He didn't want to be made into a weapon to hurt people even if he never knew any other way.
But here inside the Jedi Temple, Sidious can't well get to him, can he? He was here and none of the Jedi sensed it so maybe that's not entirely true but – but –
He wants to cry suddenly.
Which he is absolutely not going to do in front of the Jedi Masters but he doesn't know what to say to them. He can't answer that question. But...
And if they would all stop nudging him in the Force, it would certainly help.
"Anakin," Plo says, and the name is said surprisingly gently, "If you fear your master, you don't need to worry about that. He will never know that you told us."
"Yes, he will." He didn't mean for it come out a strangled whisper but it's the most he can voice. "He always knows." That was the one fact about Sidious that he learned very quickly. Maul warned him of that too. He couldn't hide things from him and that means...
"If you tell us who he is, we'll be able to stop him," Windu points out.
"He's too powerful. You'll never..."
He can't believe he's saying this, implying that he's going to betray his master. To be fair, he already did when he ran away but turning him in to the Jedi is something else entirely. His master might forgive him for running away like that after plenty of pain that Anakin doesn't want to begin thinking about facing, but this is – He'd be fortunate if all his master did was give him an agonizing death. He'd probably do far worse and then keep him alive and – and –
"Defeated the Sith before, we did. Handle him, we can," Yoda replies, "Have the chance to make this right, you do, Help us to help the galaxy, this information will."
It –
Maybe it is the right choice.
He doesn't know. Sidious is trying to reform the galaxy to make it better but he doesn't care who gets hurt in the way. The Jedi aren't much better but they at least pretend they're not hurting people. They don't do it intentionally anyway. Usually. Maybe that they're lying and oblivious to it makes it worse. He doesn't know.
But Mom would want him to help. That's all he ever wanted to do, too. Is that what he's doing now? By staying silent? Or is he making this worse?
He doesn't know how to do anything other than following orders. But...He's terrified to make a choice like this. Doesn't know what will come of it. It feels like he's swimming blindly through this way no way out. Because it's basically the truth. But – but.
He has to decide something now and fast. He's not thinking clearly and he knows that. Maybe it's better if he doesn't have time to fully think out the consequences of what he's about to do before he does or he'd never have the strength to do it. Still doesn't know if it's something he's going to regret for life or –
"He goes by Darth Sidious," Anakin replies quietly, gaze on the floor, "He always wears a hood. I've never seen his face."
"Is he on Coruscant?"
His breathing hitches. They aren't going to let this go and he doesn't know what to do. Telling them Sidious' name is one thing but telling them where he is? "It does not matter where he is. You won't be able to find him."
"Try, we must," Yoda insists, "Stop the Sith, our duty it is."
Anakin swallows hard, indignation swelling in his chest even if mostly he's just miserable. And scared. They chained him once he doesn't doubt they would do it again. "That includes me. What do you want with me now?"
The other Jedi masters are exchanging glances though he thinks they might have talked about it already.
"You will be kept here," Windu tells him bluntly, "If you want to be safe away from your master, this is where you'll be the safest. What freedoms you will have will... be of your own choice. You can keep the freedom to move around you have already been given provided you don't cause trouble."
Cause trouble?
What exactly does that entail?
He just nods mutely. He knows they'll be watching him, probably far more closely.
"But you will be safe here," Plo promises, "But we need to know where to find him."
"Why would you let me walk free?" Anakin asks skeptically. He doesn't think they're lying but he doesn't really understand why they're offering this.
"Young, you are," Yoda interjects, "A full Sith, you are not. Treat you as though you are your master, we will not."
Sidious told him the Jedi would kill the Sith without mercy even if he also said the Jedi's compassion – though only something shown when convenient – was one of their greatest weaknesses. He can maybe see some of why Sidious said both and yet... the way they're treating him makes him start to wonder if the Jedi are really as awful as he's been told.
But.
They still killed Maul so he definitely doesn't trust them. Just wonders if Sidious was blowing it out of proportion to suit his own ends like he so often does with everything.
He betrayed Anakin. He killed Shmi. Anakin can't deny that he wants him dead for that.
He hates how there's a tiny part of him that – that kind of misses being around him. A little. Not really but he's just used to him and Sidious took care of him and there's a part of him that suddenly feels guilty for doing nothing but hating him and refusing to give anything in return for what Sidious has done for him but then he remembers Mom and any such feelings quickly evaporate.
Maybe this really is the opportunity he's been waiting for, to avenge his mother's death.
"He has a place in the Works," Anakin says, keeping his head held high – trying not to show any of the fear that rushes through him as he tells that to the Jedi.
**w**
Obi-Wan's never been this mind-boggled in his life. How in the name of the Force is the wolf that's been parading all over the Temple a Sith apprentice and also a human child? That just doesn't make sense. It certainly explains why there were moments he looked so intelligent –
But then his mind promptly jumps to when they left the wolf chained.
The wolf who was apparently never an animal.
They chained up a person in a cage. He literally helped with that.
Has absolutely no idea what to think of that even if it wasn't really their fault because they had no way to know.
"Your name is... Anakin?" Obi-Wan asks, studying the boy. He's a little shorter than him still, and he looks so young, maybe fifteen. He's dressed in dark robes that must be Sith, but something about his slightly long curls manage to make him look kind of adorable even if he is very obviously a Sith.
"Yes." He sounds almost shy which seems a little ridiculous when they've been around each other for over a month and this is a Sith but –
"I didn't know you were human. I'm sorry about... how we've treated you."
He sort of kicks at the floor, not really looking up. "It's okay. You didn't know."
How is that a Sithly thing to say? The boy doesn't look dangerous at all even if Obi-Wan knows looks can be deceiving. He's not going to make the mistake of trusting him even if he can't deny that he's... kind of fond of him already. Which is probably not a good thing.
But he's supposed to be keeping a much closer eye on him now than he has been so maybe it's good that he doesn't mind the thought.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Obi-Wan asks.
"What would you have done to me, had you known I wasn't a wolf?"
That's... a fair concern, he has to grudgingly admit.
Is that why he seems so... afraid? He never imagined a Sith would be afraid of the Jedi. He thought they used fear to give them power or whatever. The boy isn't anything like that but he did run away, after all.
"What things do you... like doing?" Obi-Wan queries, trying to ignore how uncomfortable he's feeling, "...And nothing that entails whatever you do as a Sith. If you're going to be staying here, you'll have to keep your mind active somehow. There's plenty you can learn in the Archives if you want to."
Anakin perks up instantly at the offer.
By his description, he's apparently most obsessed with ships and droids and machines. And he never was taught much general education as a Sith, which Obi-Wan isn't overly surprised about.
Well, it sounds like he should have plenty to keep him busy.
"Don't break anything," Obi-Wan warns as he takes him to the part of the hanger where ships are being repaired. "But if you want something to do, this is probably the best spot."
The way Anakin's eyes widen with awe is so childish it's adorable.
"Are junk ships that impressive?"
"They're not junk!" Anakin protests, "I know how to fix them."
"Do you? That's something your Sith master taught you?"
He shakes his head, expression shadowing a little. "I learned... before. The rest I taught myself."
Before?
Obi-Wan doesn't know why it never occurred to him until right now that Anakin probably had a life before the Sith took him. He's so... human, nothing like what the Jedi say of Sith. But he's still a child. Obi-Wan knows firsthand what Sith can be like. The last moments he ever had with Qui-Gon replays through his mind uncalled for.
Anakin slowly walks up to one of the ships, studying it curiously.
"I have matters to attend to. I'll be back later," Obi-Wan tells him. Hopefully he won't lose track of him in the meantime.
The Council already gave the boy a comm, though that's mostly so they can track where he is in the Temple even if he's not aware of that. And any communications he has will be monitored so he can't try contacting anyone.
Anakin nods, then pauses, looking back. "What... happened about the – what I told the Council?" he asks hesitantly.
Right. That.
"We went to the place you mentioned and searched it but we haven't found anything about his identity," Obi-Wan replies.
Anakin seems more afraid than relieved which... says a lot about his genuineness.
Obi-Wan didn't go personally but he hasn't heard anything more. They're planning to stay away and see if Sidious comes back but he genuinely doubts that's going to happen. If the Sith has been able to hide his traces all this time, it won't be easy to track him down.
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