A/N
Hi everyone! Last chapter was a decent cliffhanger and I got a decent response to it. Some people love-hated it and others just hated it. Others were just worried about Brock's message to Shepard. Maybe I should do more of them. What do you think?
If you want to read ahead, there are eight more chapters on my pat-re-on. Bored Peasant's Written Works. Other updates there and some original stuff that I am going to be updating soon.
Extra special thanks to Austin, Ben wanless, Brian, BuzzGrave, Chris, Eligah Moreno, Endervslender, Ezoz, FallenMetalGod, felipe Saavedra, Freeman, Hyaaa B1tch, Jason Moreno, Jermaine Key, joshua scruggins, JotunAltHist, Kraxis93, liquidpotato, MathTheOriginal, My Name is Klondike, Nakahok, Nathan Duncan, Oda The Toaster, Orangerazor120, Paul Fischer, Proxy, r4p16, Randal Cook, Ranger, Robert Tipton, Sith_Paladin, sonic, tasso mevissen, The Senn Master, Tristan d'conceicao, United Federation, UtopiaKnight39 and Voidwolf 1994 for their support. You all mean so much to me. Thanks for everything!
…
CHAPTER 45 – THE CHOICES WE MAKE
(Chakwas POV)
Karin Chakwas had been a doctor for a lot longer than she cared to remember. Longer than she would admit to anyone. But that meant she had plenty of experience in dealing with a vast range of complications that naturally occur in battle situations.
Thus, when she was called to attend to Mr Brock Nielson who was injured, having suffered what appeared to be organ damage, losing blood and not responding to medigel, and also was unable to be immediately returned to the ship due to the lack of a breathable atmosphere and a compromised suit, Karin was prepared.
It, sadly, wasn't the first time she had dealt with that particular issue. After all, raids on asteroid bases were old hat for someone with her experience. In fact, she always prepared her medical response kit for those exact circumstances every time she knew that they would be operating in atmosphere deficient environments. It was standard practice for her now. Sometimes she would need the kit and sometimes she wouldn't, but being prepared was half the battle for a medic.
She had put her own space-capable suit on before the Normandy had approached the asteroid. The moment she got the call, she had headed to the garage airlock to prepare to disembark as it would allow access to the asteroid surface, unlike the airlock near the cockpit. Liara was ready in the garage by the time she got there, as was Garrus, who was still in his own armour from being picked up after his mission. The airlock had been depressurised to match the outside before they had reached the facility, so when the Normandy stopped moving, the door opened instantly, allowing the three of them to disembark.
They moved rapidly to the door, Liara and Garrus dragging the hover sled with her medical supplies behind them as fast as they could. It hissed open on their command and then the recompression started. It was the only process they couldn't rush, even if it only took about twenty seconds all up, though clearly that was too long for her current helpers, if the fidgeting that Liara and Garrus were doing was any indication.
The inner airlock door hissed open and they rushed inside, to see that Shepard and Gunnery Chief Williams had moved Nielson closer to the airlock. Useful, but not something that she would recommend. For saving two or three seconds, they could have done further damage to the wounded when they moved him. Not important enough to bring up now, though she made a mental note to address that later on.
"Blood and cannula!" she barked to Liara as she began her scans the instant she was in range of Nielson.
With the way that her response pack was organised, the blood packs were sitting right on top with the cannula, so that they didn't have to fumble about looking for them. Liara grabbed them and immediately thrust them in Karin's waiting hand.
While there could be other damage that was happening, Karin's long experience told her that it didn't matter what the other issues were if the patient ran out of blood while she was looking for them. Nielson's glove was removed in a second and immediately the needle of the cannual was shoved into a vein, the small engine on the cannula pushing the blood through for them.
"Second pack ready," Liara reported tensely.
Good. The asari wasn't a medical doctor, but had clearly had some medical training for field scenarios. It was probably a necessity for working in the field away from civilisation and organised by her mother. Despite the separation between the two asari, Karin had the feeling that the Matriarch wasn't the type of person to let her daughter into the field to be under threat of pirates and other dangers without a decent understanding of medical response, to go along with her ability to fight and defend herself.
"Attach it to the secondary line and feed it to the barrier so that it will maintain a constant flow and prepare a third pack," Karin ordered, as her scanner started to filter results through to her. "Put the third pack on the instant that the first bladder runs dry." Three blood pack was excessive in most cases but with any emergency with a person that was bleeding out, more blood was always better than not enough, in Karin's opinion.
"Shepard," Garrus spoke up. "I'm hearing some noise from the next room."
Shepard and Williams instantly leapt up, weapons at the ready as they looked towards the door.
"Garrus, Williams, with me," Shepard growled out. "Liara, stay with Doctor Chakwas."
A chorus of acknowledgements were heard in the background, though Karin ignored them even as they marched off.
"Second bag has run dry," Liara called out nervously. "It looks like he is starting to bleed again. Preparing a fourth blood bag now."
"Good," Karin acknowledged. At least she didn't have to tell the girl every step. She was able to use her own initiative.
"Is him bleeding again a problem?" Liara asked. "Shouldn't it be stopped by now from the medigel?"
"Most definitely," Karin replied, not looking up. Brain scans were normal, as was heart. Lungs were good too, if a little bruised. "With the amount of medigel, that was used on him, it would be expected that the bleeding should have stopped. But him bleeding now isn't completely a bad thing. It means that his blood levels are coming back up, so he is no longer at risk of dying from blood loss, as long as you keep supplying blood bags."
His stomach looked good too. Liver has been perforated; gall bladder was badly damaged; he would need an intestinal flush. Bowel was fine.
The sound of gunfire from the next room made Liara flinch slightly, but she didn't turn away from her position in assisting Karin. Though the human doctor noticed that the asari doctor was starting to glow blue with biotic output.
"If you can put a barrier between us and the door and continue helping me that would be helpful," Karin said absently, not turning away from her patient.
"Alright," Liara agreed. Without looking up, Karin saw a fuzzy barrier form up from the corner of her eye.
The final scans came through and the readings were grim.
"He has pieces of his armour trapped in his liver which is shredding it and preventing it from healing with the medigel," Karin said. "I need his armour and under suit off immediately."
"Right," Liara said, her face colouring slightly but not hesitating in reaching towards the clasps. The gunfire in the background fell silent as she hit the releases on his hard suit.
Booted footprints walking towards them made Karin look up for just a second to confirm that it was Shepard and her two squad members walking back. She looked back down as they got the breastplate off, then used a specialised laser cutter to cut through the bloodied under suit. She peeled it off, revealing the pale skin underneath. The very scarred pale skin underneath.
Karin started to plug the punctured and bleeding skin on his right-hand side, pushing her gloved fingers into the hole around the liver with extra padding and clotting agents.
"By the goddess," Liara breathed out. Karin's eyes flickered up and saw the asari was staring at the scars all over the man's body.
"Holy Mary mother…" Williams exclaimed.
"Less staring, more saving!" Karin barked. "Liara, I need another blood bag."
"R-right!" she stuttered, reaching back into the medical kit.
"Shepard," she said, glancing up at the redheaded leader who was also staring down at Nielson's body. "I assume that you have resolved the fusion torch issue?"
Shepard blinked and looked over at her. "Yes," she replied. "It's taken care of. We just need to get the batarians holding some civilians' hostage at the main facility."
"Very well," Karin said as she reached into a container on the side of the response bag that held some important technology for a null-atmospheric environment. "Doctor T'soni, I need you to put Mr Nielson in a Stasis lock. He's as stable as I can make him here and the active bleeding has stopped for now. I just need to set up an atmospheric shield and we can head straight to the Normandy."
Karin could hear the frown in Shepard's voice as she spoke up. "We won't all fit in the airlock if Nielson is kept horizontal. Doc, Liara and Nielson go first and we'll follow afterwards."
Karin finished putting the atmospheric shield around Nielson and activated it. It would only last half an hour if left on, but that was fine; she only needed a few minutes to get into the Normandy.
Nielson glowed blue as the Stasis covered him, preventing him from moving. Karin sighed. The immediate danger hadn't lessened, but with the bleeding stopped for now, even if it was a standard field hack job, she had time to get him to the operating room.
Then the real life-saving work would begin.
…
(Shepard POV)
"Hey Shepard. If you are watching this then it means that I am dead."
Jane didn't know how long she stared at the screen, letting those words go through her mind over and over again. Long enough that she had to start it again, having completely missed anything Nielson had said after that point.
She had come back to her room to watch this after they managed to get Nielson on to Doctor Chakwas' operating table. He had flatlined once in that damned elevator to get from the garage to the upper deck. Shepard was going to order Adams to sort that out the second she was free, damned Alliance Command. She didn't want to risk that happening again.
She had left the Med Bay, noticing that most of the ground team had come up to see him. She had called for Williams, Alenko, Garrus and Wrex to join her at the main facility, leaving Tali and Liara behind. Liara was still helping Chakwas and Tali had taken a puncture in her space suit at the fusion torch they had taken. She wasn't injured at the moment, but Jane was happy to leave her to patch up her suit.
At the main facility, she had come across Balak, just like Nielson and that Charn guy said they would, though how Nielson knew she didn't know yet. She presumed that his contact had managed to send him that information before he died. And just like Nielson had predicted, Balak had put all of the civilians still alive in a room that was loaded with explosives. She had weighed up the options, and not seeing any that didn't lead her with the death of dozens of innocent civilians on her conscience, reined in her wrath at the terrorist leader and let them go.
It had taken far too long for her tastes for her, Alenko and Garrus to disarm the explosives, but she was satisfied that they had stopped the asteroid being dropped on Eden Prime. She would just have to hope that the Alliance would get there fast enough to stop the
"I dunno how I went out, obviously, but I can at least hope that I went out doing something worthwhile and not like a douche or doing something stupid. Or something weird like I died sitting on the toilet." He gave a small lopsided smile. "If you are watching this particular recording then I guess that I still don't know if I earned your trust yet or not. I did try to. Not just to make it easier to work together, but also so that you would believe me when I tell you some things that are gonna sound crazy, but are perfectly true and will be relevant later on." He paused as he looked away from the camera. "You know, even though I know I am still alive as I record this, it's harder to say than I expected." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as his head turned back to face forward.
"I have been trying to help you be the best Spectre that you can be. I can only sympathise with you Shepard. I don't have the weight of two entire governments on my shoulders. I just had my business. No one had any expectations because no one was ordering me to do it. I guess what I am trying to say is that you are mostly doing a good job and I trust that you will continue to get better as time goes on."
Jane couldn't help feeling a lump in her throat at that. Hearing that he had actually believed in her, despite her screw ups. She couldn't help feeling like she had failed him somehow. That was on top of the guilt she felt at him having jumped in front of a rocket for her because she hadn't watched her blind spot.
It was an irrational guilt and mentally she knew that but it was harder to convince her heart and her gut that she was not truly at fault. Things just happened in combat and it wasn't possible for anyone to watch every single blind spot at all times. But hearing that the man that had thrown himself in front of a rocket for her had believed in her, it left her feeling like she had been touched in her core.
"I have my company busy designing weapons and defences to help against the coming storm," Brock's voice went on, heedless of her current emotional turmoil. "They are doing some pretty amazing things, actually. I am very proud of the work they have been achieving.
"Anyway, as I am dead, I left you some things to help you. Some of it is materials and some of it is money. You need to go to the Citadel, to Zakera Ward. Find a lawyer by the name of Marver Bis. He is a Volus in the 500 blocks. He will sort it all out. What you do with it is up to you. But if you want my advice, coordinate with Beau Clarke, my head of Security, and Persei, my chief assistant and COO of Shieldstar. They know nearly as much as I do about what is coming and are prepared to help you in knowing how to best use it. I am going to just say this now: I am not going to tell you what is going on over this message, you'll have to get in contact with them through an orphanage I run on the Citadel."
Jane blinked, feeling a little nonplussed at that. Clearly this had been recorded before their little mishap. Jane thought about getting in contact with them. She started feeling awkward just thinking about speaking to his people at the orphanage again. She wondered if he had changed anything about what he had planned to give her after that… misunderstanding.
"I also left you something else. Something dangerous. It's all of the information that I have on the upcoming missions you will need to look at. Not stuff that is part of this mission, but it feeds from it. There are things you need to know, people you need to talk to, who to trust, you know, all that sorta thing. Everything. It's pretty detailed in some ways and basic in others. If you know all of that in advance, you have the chance to change things. Maybe help save lives."
His face grew serious, making the scars stand out even more. "But Shepard, here is a warning: sometimes, just because you can change the outcome, doesn't mean you should. Sometimes, the best outcome is the one that you hate the most. You probably won't understand until you go through the information. I even put my recommendations in there for actions you should take. The information is written down in files that I have left with my lawyer. I handwrote them in journals. I didn't trust having that on an omni-tool or a computer somewhere. Some things just shouldn't be shared with people."
That was ominous. What did he think she needed to do after they caught Saren? He said that the Saren mission fed into the next mission. The only thing that came to mind was the reapers that Saren and Benezia had talked about. Did he have more information about that? If he did, why didn't he mention it to anyone? She had no idea, but if he didn't pull through, she was going to have to spend a lot of time grilling his people to see what they knew.
Nielson took another deep breath. "There is a lot of dangerous information there, Shepard. And even though you don't have to believe it, everything is true. I can't stress that enough. Guard it with your life, and do not leave it on the Normandy after the Saren mission is over. You will understand why once you have read it." He looked away again, his face turning reflective. "Well, I guess that leaves the personal stuff now." He looked back at the screen. "Man, there is so much I wish I could say but so little time on this thing."
He paused again, looking away from the camera with a small frown before he looked back." If I know you, Shepard, you are probably taking my death at least a little personally. Not because you necessarily trusted me or anything; you probably still didn't like me all that much. I get it, though. I… haven't been the best person for socialising, just sitting in my little corner of the garage most of the time except for meals when I would emerge, tell a few stories then leave. That is a problem of mine. I didn't use to have that problem. I was quite good company, if say so myself. But with focussing on saving the galaxy and after what I went through… well, I lost the ability to be a people person except to rile people up for political purposes. I have been trying to get it back but I would be the first person to admit that I am… or was… still a bit jaded by everything.
"Regardless, if you are taking my death hard because you feel like you lost a member of your crew, then don't worry about it, please. I have spent more than enough time wishing for death in my life to actually be a little relieved that it came."
That… was all too believable, judging by the scars that she had seen on his body. She had seen scars like that before, during the Blitz. When they rescued some of the slaves that they had come across, more than a few of them had scars like what Nielson had had. Not to the scale that he'd sported, by any means, but plenty of them had been tortured. Some captured soldiers that they had liberated had even more scars like this. It only led her to one conclusion.
Nielson had been tortured.
He hadn't given any signs of mental instability, other than his crude suggestions regarding her and the other female, or female adjacent, members of the ground team about their armour fittings. He had joked with all of the other crew members and been a solid and reliable member of the ground team. The only time that she had seen him genuinely annoyed was when she had led Williams and Alenko into his orphanage. It was likely that he was not affected by it, at least not anymore. Certainly not enough to stop him living the way he chose to live. But it still added a bit of mystery to his background. After all, how does one go through that? And when?
"There are some things I never got to tell you because it was never the right time or the right circumstances but here is as good a time as any. I don't want you to be unhappy over my death because these last few months that I have been working as one of your crew have been truly enjoyable. I worked with a great crew and I got to work with you. It helped me feel like I was doing some good in the galaxy, which was pretty healing. There was still a lot to go, but I still got to see you work and improve yourself every day. You are an inspirational leader and a great person.
"Despite all of the animosity that was sent my way I was still able to see that come through. I will have died, just being glad that I was able to do so working alongside you. Not the Spectre, not the Lioness of Elysium or any of those other titles you have earned along the way. I worked alongside Jane Shepard; the redhead with a wicked sense of humour when she chose to use it and a caring nature to those around her, who knew how to kick arse. The cute redhead that I would teach how to do her job on the galactic stage. I have no regrets from that or anything else." He smiled, a genuine smile that lit up his face. It seemed to take years off him. It made her heart sink a little, thinking it may be last time she ever saw it.
Jane swallowed heavily. She hadn't known that he had thought that highly of her. Nor did she think they had really interacted enough to have come to those conclusions. Either he was blowing smoke, which was not typical on a person's deathbed, or he was a lot more observant than she had realised, which was something because she already knew that he was observant to begin with. She wasn't sure how to approach the idea that he had thought her cute though.
"So, don't worry about me and my death Shepard. Just jettison my body out into space and remember that my time under your command was something I truly enjoyed and would do again, regardless of the hiccups we might have had along the way. Maybe if you had been able to trust me more, if I had been able to open up and let you in, things could have been different. Better. But even without it, I am honoured to have been able to serve at your side. I wish you well, Jane."
His eyes became sad as he said that. "I wish it didn't have to be you, honestly. I wish you could have had a quiet life living on a beach somewhere, with a family of little Janes following you around, listening to your stories. But you are the best at what you do. And the galaxy doesn't often show that much favouritism. So, in this message, the only thing I can do is let you know that I believe in you. I believe that you, Jane Shepard, are the only one that is capable of bearing the responsibility that is going to be thrust on your shoulders. I just wish that for your sake it didn't have to be you." He gave one last sad smile. "Goodbye, Jane. It has truly been an honour." With that, the screen faded to static and winked off.
Jane sat in her chair, unbidden tears forming in the corners of her eyes that she wiped away without a thought. It never got easier to lose a comrade. She hadn't known Nielson as well as she could have, and now she was really only blaming herself for that. The man had volunteered for a dangerous mission, paid for it all, held his own on combat missions, told stories to keep morale up and helped her crew bond better for it all.
If he didn't pull through, it would leave a gaping hole in their morale that she wasn't sure could be completely fixed by the time that they would be done with the Saren Hunt. Most of the crew, Alliance and alien, held him in high regard for the way that he treated them all like people, and not objects like most rich people had the reputation of doing. Not to mention the Council. She shuddered to think about what would happen there.
It made her mind go back to all of the people that she had lost of the years. First at Mindoir, then Elysium, then the Blitz, then Akuze and a dozen other missions off the top of her head where someone hadn't made it home. It truly never got easier to lose your team, your friends.
She reached into the bottom desk draw and pulled out an item that definitely wasn't regulation approved for the Normandy; a bottle of gin. She grabbed her glass and dropped a small amount in. she chugged it back in an instant, then chased it down with another cup of water to try and reduce the smell. Looking around the room, she decided that sitting in here right now wasn't going to do anything and the rest of the ground team would be sitting out there waiting for an update on Nielson.
Some solidarity would be welcomed right now. No one should be alone when worried about their people. Not even her.
Having another glass of water and swilling it around her mouth to wash out the alcohol smell even more, Jane stood up and headed to the door to go join her team, letting the heaviness of Nielson's last message fall from her shoulders.
She really hoped that the Australian pulled through.
…
(Brock POV)
I looked over at Manuel, standing in front of me. He was giving that same calming smile that he always gave. I guess it figured that he would be the one that would be here to greet me at the end. He had been the one that I had spoken to every time that I was in this situation. Why change things up now?
"You know, when I said that it probably would be a while before we talked again, I had expected it to be longer than this," Manuel said with a wry smile. "Though I must admit that I expected this to be one of the likely circumstances that it would happen hadn't thought it would happen just yet. I do like surprises but even that one got me."
I gave him a lopsided grin of my own. "Well, I do try to stay outside of everyone's expectations," I replied. "Otherwise, I would find life boring if the only things that happened were what we knew was going to happen."
I looked around at the extreme white around me. It was the same as last time, but something stuck out to me.
"Why isn't this much white blinding?" I asked.
Manuel smiled at me indulgently. "It wouldn't be much use if you couldn't see while we were talking, would it?"
I gave a grunt of amusement. "Good to see you Manuel," I said. "I take it that you being here means I finally hit the end?"
He tilted his head. "Has it thus far?" he asked.
I frowned. "Well, no. But I do distinctly remember bleeding out in a small base on an asteroid without a breathable atmosphere. Surely that would normally be something that means I have reached the end of my mortal coil."
He nodded thoughtfully. "Yes, that is true," he replied calmly. "But I think that you are underestimating the abilities and resourcefulness of your allies. They are quite capable."
I stared at him, my frown turning suspicious. "I'm not dying, am I?"
He blinked at me. "Are you wanting to?"
I hesitated. Did I? I admit, I hadn't thought about it for a long time. There was always so much to do. I hadn't let those thoughts fill my head for… a long while now.
"I used to," I confessed. "I'm not opposed to it at all. I would give nearly anything to see Jason again. I still miss my son so much. But now, I am not really sure what I want."
"That is understandable," Manuel said kindly. "Time does have that effect on most people. So does being busy, as it allows us to be distracted from the troubles that cloud the mind. People will still miss their loved ones, but they often find new things to live for."
I nodded slowly. That was truthfully what had been happening with me. I had met some people who were now my friends. Better than friends really. I had created a family for myself in this galaxy. While I wouldn't mourn for them the same way I had for Jason if they were killed, I would still mourn them and miss them.
The yearning that I had to be with Jason wasn't gone, not by a long shot. By now, it had been tempered by time, my new family and the plans that I had been making and carrying out in the galaxy. I was doing things that mattered, even if they seemed to be unimportant to the main plot of Mass Effect. Thousands of freed slaves making their lives better, preparing weapons that would allow the armies to make a difference, setting things up so that far more people would survive and live past the reaper invasion. All of that mattered, even if it was happening in the background right now.
So yes, I wanted to both go on and be with my son and I wanted, really for the first time consciously, to stay.
I gave a sigh. "It probably seems silly but, in a way, I had already made peace with passing on," I said with a touch of humour. "It almost seems like a waste to let that go."
Manuel raised an eyebrow at me. "That seems like an odd reason to choose to move on."
I huffed in amusement. "I know. But I thought you made it sound like I was going to live anyway. Are you saying that I am not going to live now?"
Manuel's second eyebrow joined the first in being raised. "I never said that you were either dying or not dying," he rebutted. "I was just trying to get you to realise what your own thoughts on this are."
I frowned at him. "Alright," I replied slowly. "But am I dying or not?"
He raised his hands, palms facing me, in a 'hold it' gesture. "That isn't up to me," he replied. "You are certainly still close enough that it could happen, but with the work they are doing up there, they might also bring you back. I am just here to see where your mind is and pass on a message."
I raised my own eyebrows in surprise. "Is that right?" I mused. "Very well. What's the message?"
Manuel lowered his hands. "If you choose to live, then you need to actually live."
I frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?" I asked. "I am living. Or at least doing a good job of looking like it."
Manuel shook his head. "Nor really," he denied. "You are existing. You are alive but you are still keeping part of yourself locked up, not allowing yourself to be really free."
My frowned deepened. "I'm open with those that I have become close with," I countered. "I told them about the reapers coming up and preparing for that…"
"That's not what I meant," Manuel cut me off, somehow managing to sound kind and gentle while he did so. "When was the last time that you took time out away from all of your plans and just had fun or sat at the beach? When was the last time that you just went out and had a fun day without thinking about how to make it better to your advantage? When was the last time that you looked at someone as a potential romantic partner? You are alive, you are working hard, but you have forgotten to live."
I pursed my lips as I absorbed what he was saying. It was true that I hadn't taken any real time off since… probably when we first visited Earth and I went to visit my home city. Even then, that hadn't really been for fun, but to check out what my old home was like and I was still in depression from having been recently brought to this universe, or the circumstances of it.
Every trip since then has always been something work related or travelling to something work related. None of it had been for purely for leisure. I hadn't truly had a full day off that wasn't just me travelling somewhere in my ships for… I don't even know how long. Forget about romantic relationships in general.
"You need to live," Manuel spoke into my thoughts. "When you were first sent to this universe, I told you that you would be able to find full and true happiness if you took this path. So far, you have done a lot of good, and I can tell that you are content, but you need to open yourself up if you want to be more than content. If you want to have a full and truly happy life."
I shook my head. "I have a hard time opening up to the idea of a romantic partner," I said. "I am not ready for that."
"That is only a single thing that I mentioned," Manuel stated flatly. "And it isn't so much that you are not ready, but you have closed yourself and your heart off from the possibility of it happening again. I understand, truly, that this is a defensive mechanism that you are employing to stop yourself being hurt again. But if you want to experience the highest levels of joy, you need to open yourself up to being hurt again. You need to open yourself up again to start feeling ready for more."
I didn't reply for a long moment. "That implies that I am not going to die," I eventually replied.
Manuel shook his head. "As I told you the first time I appeared to you, the choice is yours. If you decide that you want to die, just sit and wait here. Eventually, I will be back to guide you to the next step. Or if you decide to stay alive, you need to choose to stay alive. You need to choose to go back, and you will."
I raised my eyebrow again. "It's that simple?" I asked. "I just think what I want and that's it?"
Manuel smiled. "What were you expecting? An obstacle course?"
I couldn't help chuckling. As my laughter died down, I turned my mind to the next step. Do I choose to join Jason, or am I ready to keep living?
I gave a long sigh. As I thought about it, there was really only one choice I wanted to make.
…
(Garrus POV)
Everyone from the ground team was sitting in the mess hall. Not because everyone had a break. It was just the most convenient place to be to wait for news from Doctor Chakwas trying to save Brock's life.
They had finished clearing out the main base not long ago. It felt a little anti-climactic, seeing as Shepard had let Balak go to save the civilians. After having destroyed Charn for his role in almost killing Brock, having not killed the last of the batarians left a sour taste in his mouth.
Oh, he understood. Weighing up the lives of the innocent against the terrorists that way was damn difficult, and a person had to live with their choices. It didn't make it any less frustrating though. It reminded him of his time chasing that damn crazed salarian.
Garrus looked around the table, noticing that while most of the people looked worried, even Wrex, who was grumbling to himself, he noticed that Williams looked downright miserable.
"You alright?" he asked softly, feeling weird at trying to comfort her. She had been quite anti-alien since he had got on board, and here he was, an alien trying to help her.
She looked up at him for a moment, then looked back down at the table. "Yeah," she mumbled. "It's just… when Nielson shouted out Shepard's name, I looked over and it looked like he was attacking her. I was beginning to raise my rifle at him when he got hit by the rocket drone. I just… I thought I was over suspecting him for no reason. But in the heat of the moment, I was about to shoot the guy that was trying to save his teammate. That is real low of me. And now I can't help feeling guilty about it."
Garrus didn't say anything for a long moment, absorbing what the sergeant said. Everyone on the ship knew about the conflict between Brock and her. At the same time, Brock had tried to resolve the issue and seemed to have succeeded. Apparently, he wasn't as successful at doing that as he thought.
"I think it is pretty hard to judge things like this in the moment," he said, trying to not sound accusatory. "But I would like to think I know Brock pretty well by now. Call it detective's intuition or something. I don't think Brock would ever willingly hurt a teammate that hadn't hurt him first or betrayed him somehow. I don't see a reason why he would give so much to us and then turn around to kill us after he made it harder to do so.
"But yes," he continued, "I do think you have judged him poorly based on your earlier interactions with him, which from the sound of it, started as a misunderstanding in a combat zone. When he said he wanted a new start with you, I believe that he was being completely genuine."
Williams nodded slowly. "I think so now," she said softly. "Especially after he has done so much to help Shepard. I don't think anyone else here can claim to have jumped in front of a rocket for anyone else on their team." She gave out a long sigh. "I really hope he wakes up so that I can apologise to him."
They lapsed back into silence, letting the time pass. And pass. Garrus looked at his timer on his omnitool. Six hours had passed since Chakwas and Liara disappeared into the Med Bay. Six hours of tense waiting. Though, Garrus was also aware that Alenko wasn't exactly stressing about Brock's current status. He was aware of some tension between those two as well. He'd heard rumours floating about the Lieutenant having a thing for Shepard and thought Brock was getting in the way, with how much she relied on him for help.
It was another hour later before the door to the Med Bay hissed open. Everyone in the room, even spare crew members who were floating about stopped and stared as Liara came out of the room and stumbled toward the commissary. Garrus couldn't help noticing the blood that was on her skin near her elbows. That was standard, his mind processed. In surgery, doctors wear gloves and protective gowns to prevent bloods or other fluids from touching them. Unfortunately, current Citadel designs on that PPE had a small gap near the elbows where the gloves ended and the protective gown began.
It didn't fill him with hope seeing that.
"Hello everyone," Liara greeted them tiredly as she made her way slowly to the caf machine. "It's good of you to be here."
"Hey Liara," Tali said right back. "How is he?"
Liara sighed as she accepted a full mug from Alenko. She looked down at her feet for a moment. "I am not sure," she admitted. "He flatlined several times during the surgery. And there was a problem with the flash cloning machine the first time we tried to clone his liver. It caused a delay at a crucial stage and Doctor Chakwas had to scramble to keep him alive. It…" her eyes watered slightly. "It doesn't look good, but Doctor Chakwas was confident that now we have replaced his liver he should recover. She just needs to make sure that the bonding process works properly and the new liver isn't rejected."
"Does that happen much with cloned parts?" Williams asked.
Liara looked up at her and blinked. Garrus figured she was probably surprised at the lack of hostility in the human woman's tone. "Rarely," she replied. "As it is technically the same organ as before, the body is normally quite good at accepting the new part. However, in one out of every three hundred cases, the body can reject the first replaced organ if there is a deficiency in the cloned part, or if it hasn't been attached correctly. Doctor Chakwas is monitoring him now."
"It's lucky you got there so quickly after he passed out from the blood loss," Williams murmured.
Liara nodded. "We went through four litres of blood before he stabilised properly," she said. "The human body only holds five to six litres, depending on their size and genetic factors. If we had been as much as two minutes later, it would have permanently impacted his brain and heart. As it is, we are lucky that they were all perfectly fine."
The group nodded as a whole. Garrus couldn't help wincing internally at how much blood had been lost. Sounds like they were really cutting a fine line there.
"You heading back in there?" Wrex rumbled from his spot closer to the elevator.
Liara took a large gulp of her coffee and shook her head. "No, I am not needed anymore. Doctor Chakwas and the medical VI in the Med Bay are sufficient for now."
"We have a VI in Med Bay?" Alenko asked in surprise.
Tali nodded this time. "Brock had the medical equipment upgraded during our shore leave on the Citadel. The flash cloning device was one of the things that he had ordered. Good thing too, otherwise I don't think he would have made it back to the Citadel."
A smattering of mumbled confirmations sounded as the group responded.
"You should probably get some rest," Garrus said. "You've been working there pretty solidly for the last six hours."
Liara ran a hand over her eyes. "Yes, I believe I should. Karin is still working on him, but it is mostly just monitoring him now."
"Ok is no one going to bring up his scars?" Williams blurted out.
Liara flinched again as Alenko, Wrex and Tali looked up in confusion. "Scars?" Wrex grunted. "Like the ones on his hand?"
"Yes, but they cover at least his whole upper body," Williams said. "Slash marks, burns. There are dozens of them, if not hundreds."
"It's torture marks," Shepard's voice broke into the conversation, making everyone jump. The woman could move silently when she wanted to.
Garrus nodded. "Not sure when it happened but he had those scars when I first saw him a couple years ago. He was a lot skinnier then, just skin and bones really, and didn't look anywhere near as healthy as he does now. It had probably not been too much earlier than that."
"They are worse on his back," Liara said softly, looking down. "And they are also on his legs."
Everyone stayed silent as they let that sink in. "I guess we figured him all wrong," Williams said. "I thought he was just some spoiled rich boy with a couple of scars from skiing that liked to make up stories. Like the one about shooting himself in the hand. I didn't think…"
"None of us did, Williams," Shepard said softly. "He never brought it up and never acted like they were even there."
"I guess there is a lot more about him that we just don't know," Alenko said. Garrus narrowed his eyes slightly, looking at the man. Somehow, he doubted that was said with as much concern as everyone else was displaying.
"Keelah," Tali said. "He always seems so happy. Is it all an act?"
"I don't think so," Shepard said. "If it was an act, it would be pretty tiring to keep up for so long.
There was a long pause as people thought about that
"I'll have to look him over later," Wrex rumbled thoughtfully into the silent atmosphere. He grunted with amusement after a second. "If his scars are impressive enough, I might set him up with the female clans on Tuchanka."
Everyone stared at him for a moment before everyone laughed. Hard. Far harder than the joke deserved, but it was just what everyone needed to break the heavy, tense atmosphere.
"Ah Wrex," Jane giggled out after a few minutes. "If that ever happens then I want pictures." She let her laugh die out, but retained a grin. "Thanks for that."
Wrex grunted an acknowledgement.
The Med Bay door hissed open and Doctor Chakwas poked her head out.
"Shepard," she called out to the group. "The surgeries were successful. And I thought you might want to know, he's waking up."
A jolt ran through the whole group and after a second, nearly everyone on the ground team made a run for the Med Bay, shouting in relief.
Garrus made his way over slower. But he was glad that his friend was alright. You know, all things considered.
…
1 film, 4 reviews
Star Wars: A New Hope
Thessian Suns Publication
By Helia Mis'audis
In preparation of viewing this vid, I was informed that only six of the vids were 'canon'. The original trilogy and the prequel trilogy. The next trilogy was the sequel trilogy, but I was informed that they were discounted and replaced when the company that owned the rights stopped scoring political points and gave the direction to people who actually liked the entire franchise.
That said, as an introduction to the series, it was certainly palatable. The themes were relatable and at the same time they didn't shy away from the loss of comrades or lives or homes. This was more enjoyable than the watered-down motivations that came from other vids in cinema over the next few decades. All in all, the vid was enjoyable and I recommend it to all.
On a side note, the ability of humans to interact with all of the other races in this fictional galaxy seems to be represented in a great majority of human science fiction. I hope it is only a matter of time before we enjoy that level of normal association.
Sur'kesh Leaf Script
By Silarn Moduk
When someone considers the technology available at the time this vid was created, they must be impressed at the quality of the visual effects displayed. The use of props, proper camera angles, set designs and modelling by the director and the effects team was ingenious for the time and almost revolutionary in cinema in general.
To make it better, the characters were engaging and entertaining, the action was enjoyable (even going so far as to highlight the importance of individual fighter craft, which are not widely used in the Citadel community), the writing well done and the villain, threatening yet engaging. It was a magnificent vid and I have been told the next one was even better. I shall look forward to reviewing that vid greatly.
Palaven Daily Call
By Marticus Lossus
I heard more than one turian viewer say comments that were along the lines of, 'the Hierarchy would probably be the Empire'. And I agree to an extent. While the Hierarchy would never condone destroying an entire planet, it is ingrained in us to follow orders and obey our leaders. It is now just an inherent part of being turian.
I think this vid cautions against following orders just because they were orders. If a turian destroyed an entire planet and they were just following orders, then it would be a travesty. I believe that it almost serves as a commentary of how far the people had fallen that they would destroy an entire planet, not out of need or desperation like it was with the genophage and the krogan, but just to send a message.
Overall though, it was an enjoyable vid with engaging characters and great visuals.
The Krogan Word
By Ognut Grax
Oh, come on! How come that whiny brat was allowed to destroy a moon sized space station and I'm not!? That is so unfair. I couldn't even see it happen in real life.
Hmmm. Sorry for that. I just got to watch a weapon that could destroy planets in a single shot and I COULDN'T AIM IT! If we krogan had that in the Rebellion, we would be masters of the galaxy by now.
Actually, probably for the best that we don't. I could see some idiot firing it at a planet because some bartender sold the wrong ryncol. There wouldn't be a planet other than Tuchanka left in less than a month. So yeah, STG, don't build it. It sounds like too much of a good thing.
…
A/N Please Review and Follow/Favourite as you please.
I was going to do a second cliffhanger, but I think we all knew what was likely to happen. A small part of me did think it would be a place that I could end the story and do a large epilogue. After all, more than 300,000 words and seven years (even if there was a couple of long hiatuses in there) is a long time to work on a story. But fear not, I enjoy writing and this story isn't done yet. Though maybe I will write it up as an omake or an alternate ending later.