Chapter 20
(1645H. Hour 25 of 36)
Jaina struggled to keep up with her Master's quick stride down the corridor and towards the hangar bay, her short legs propelling her as fast as she could. "Wait—the labs are the other way, Master—what about the civilians?"
Obi-Wan paused, and turned back to look at her, his expression stern.
"The civilians will have to wait. Our priority, our priority right now, is to get out of here and contact High Command. We need to report everything we've discovered to the Jedi Council and the Senate as soon as possible."
Her jaw dropped, a few flustered, inaudible stutters escaping her lips. "But the people they're keeping hostage—they're—they're using them as lab rats, they won't survive for long—"
"I know," Obi-Wan said quietly, his voice firm but empathetic. "I know, but we can't save them if we're captured. We need to report this information to the Republic, and return here with reinforcements."
He took a step closer to her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Jaina, we must think tactically. We cannot save everyone right now, but we can help them in the future."
Jaina whipped her head around as a shrill, bloodcurdling scream echoed from down the corridor.
Several meters away, along one of the other entrances to the hangar, two scientists and three B2 droids were dragging a pale Twi'lek woman with greyish complexion and blue veins away from the doorframe she was so desperately clutching with all of her strength.
Obi-Wan's grip on her shoulder tightened, his eyes narrowing at the scene unfolding before them. The wailing cries of the woman being dragged away echoed in the corridor.
"We cannot interfere," he whispered to his little one, his voice tight. "We need to get back to Coruscant, the data we have is vital."
He sighed softly. "There will be time for discussion later," he told her, as he motioned towards the hangar.
"But that woman needs help!" Jaina protested desperately. "Along with all the other live test subjects! We have to figure out some way to save them! They'll end up in the incinerator—"
Obi-Wan turned on his heel and looked back at his little Padawan; her desire to help others was part of what made her such a great Jedi. But her kindness…it also occasionally made her vulnerable.
She needed to learn when to stay firm…but to never let her kindness fade.
He couldn't allow her emotions to cloud her judgment.
"We cannot rescue everyone, Jaina," he repeated, his voice gentle yet firm. "We are just two Jedi, and we cannot be everywhere at once. We have to think of the bigger picture, like I always tell you."
As if on cue, another scream erupted, causing more chills to run down her spine.
Jaina's eyes grew even more frantic. "But the Code, we're—we're supposed to defend and protect—"
"—Sometimes," Obi-Wan interrupted in a whisper, "our duty means choosing whom to save…and whom to let go."
He paused. "The intel we have gathered here is crucial for the war effort. Especially in light of what you have discovered. We need to get this information back to the Republic as soon as possible, Jaina."
"We cannot jeopardize billions of lives for a few hundred."
The Jedi Master gently squeezed her shoulder once more. "The Code demands sacrifice. And sometimes…in times of war…we need to make the impossible choice."
Jaina frowned once more, glancing back as a third scream erupted from down the hallway, with the Twi'lek woman scrambling even more frantically now, as the scientists pinned her to the ground and brought a syringe to her neck.
"The Code," Obi-Wan continued quietly, cupping her cheek and redirecting her gaze away from the gruesome scene, "also demands discipline. Focus. Focus on the mission, on the greater good, even when it feels impossible."
She was too kind. She cared too much.
He sighed softly. "We need to leave now, dear one. The fate of billions is at stake. We need to get this data back to Coruscant."
With a final, pleading look, Jaina hesitantly nodded in silent agreement. She knew her Master's words were right, and that they needed to report back to the Jedi Council.
But the thought of abandoning all the innocent civilians who had nothing to do with Durd and Vindi and Fhernan…it just didn't sit right.
"I understand, Master," she whispered shakily, before falling in pace beside him, her face still twisted with anguish as she wordlessly followed into the hangar bay.
Obi-Wan felt his heart breaking at her expression. His Padawan was stubborn, but that kind and gentle demeanor of hers had been one of the qualities that had drawn him to her in the first place, all those months ago.
This was a tough lesson, but a necessary one.
And as much as it pained him to be so hard on her, there was simply no time…her kindness would have to wait.
(a few hours later)
In the passenger compartment of their stolen CIS Shuttle, now traveling via hyperspace en route back to Coruscant, Jaina silently logged on to the console, scrolling through all the files that had successfully transmitted from the Lanteeb Facility mainframe.
The woman's screams continued to echo in her ears…
…Alongside the roar of the incinerator machine…
…The thuds of the tossed corpses...
…The metallic clanking of the Defoliator…
Obi-Wan glanced back at her from the pilot's seat, studying her expression intently. His heart ached with every passing moment as he saw the pain and guilt etched into her little freckled face. He could sense the maelstrom of emotions swirling just beneath her stoic exterior. Her shame, her doubt, her grief, her anger. The Jedi Master knew that she was struggling with everything that she had witnessed.
She was blaming herself. She felt responsible for not being able to save everyone. He could feel it in the Force.
And it broke his heart. She was so young, so pure, and yet…she had faced things that no child should have ever seen.
With a sigh, he set the ship to autopilot and turned fully in his seat to look at her, his expression softening. "You've been quiet back there," he noted, his voice gentle. "What are you thinking, dear one?"
Jaina shook her head weakly, continuing to scroll through the screen. "Just double-checking the files, Master. Making sure nothing is corrupted."
Obi-Wan hummed in understanding. He knew she was using her work as a distraction, to avoid confronting her feelings.
He observed her silently for a few moments, noticing the subtle signs of her inner turmoil. The tension in her shoulders, the rigidness of her spine, the slight trembling of her fingers as she swiped through the files on the console.
He could sense her guilt and anguish, the memories of what they had witnessed at the facility still haunting her.
"Jaina," the Jedi Master said softly, his voice gentle yet firm. He stood up from his pilot seat and walked over to her, standing beside her as she sat working at the console. "Blaming yourself is not going to change anything," he continued, his expression filled with compassion. "We did everything we could in that moment, with the information that we had."
He reached over to squeeze her shoulder. "You did the right thing back there, my little one." He paused for a moment. "You always do."
Jaina sighed softly, her fingers slowing to a stop. "…that doesn't make it any easier."
Obi-Wan exhaled heavily. "No, my Padawan, it does not." He paused for a moment, and studied his Padawan.
This mission had taken something from her. Something that she could never get back.
"The war changes us," he continued slowly. "It forces us to make the difficult decisions…the decisions that are best for the galaxy, but sometimes…it comes at the cost of our conscience."
At the cost of her innocence. The joy she had always exuded so freely and so openly.
"My little one, it will never be easy."
Jaina sighed. Heavily. "I know, Master."
A quiet moment of understanding passed between them. He knew it pained her—the guilt she was experiencing. The grief. The burden she had placed upon her shoulders. She was too empathic at times, too sensitive. She cared too much for others, even when it hurt her. He needed her to know that it was not her fault.
"My dear one, look at me." Obi-Wan gently placed a hand on her jaw, tilting her head up so that he could meet her gaze. "None of this was your fault, Jaina," he said gently but firmly. "Do you understand? You did everything in your power."
"What happened…" His voice was firm, but soft. "That is not on you."
"…Master…back there, you said…'sometimes our duty is choosing whom to save and whom to let go'," Jaina said quietly, lowering her gaze to the floor once more. "I don't…I don't know how I feel about having that kind of responsibility…having that kind of burden, that kind of…power…" She sighed softly. "…it sounds like—it sounds like playing gods—or—or—I don't know…but…why do we have the burden and the power to even make such a choice? It feels...wrong."
Obi-Wan's expression softened as he heard her words. He could sense the turmoil within her—the conflict between her inner beliefs and the realities of war. He took a deep breath and took a moment to consider his response.
"You're right, it is a heavy burden to bear," he agreed quietly. "Deciding who lives or who dies, choosing the greater good over the individuals…it is the kind of responsibility that weighs heavily on us. But we do not make these decisions lightly. We do them because we must."
Jaina sighed, lowering herself onto one of the seats. "…I recognize the irony in the entire situation, don't get me wrong. The hypocrisy, even. For me to be saying things like this, after having spent the past five months on the front lines, and helping you with all the strategies…"
"…I suppose that's already what I've been doing, in a way, isn't it?" She wrung her fingers together, interlacing them on her lap. "When I recommend which battalions to deploy, or which squads to send…I already am deciding who lives and who dies…I just haven't—haven't—haven't been thinking about it in that way…"
Obi-Wan exhaled gently, taking a seat beside her. He placed a hand gently on her forearm, his expression filled with understanding and empathy. "It is only natural to struggle from time to time, my little one, and it is all right to question the morality of your actions," he stated quietly. "But remember, every move we make, every plan we create, it is all in service to the greater good of the galaxy."
They had successfully managed to bring back the critical data from Durd and Vindi's facility. It would prove to be a decisive victory for the Republic in their war against the Separatists.
"That is the power of the Jedi," Obi-Wan concluded quietly. "And the burden. To do what is right. Even—and most especially when—it is not easy."
Jaina exhaled heavily, still unable to wrap her mind around it all. "I still don't understand how…" She rubbed wearily at her eyelids. "…how…how they can be so cruel…" She whispered softly. "Murdering innocent civilians—all for the purposes of researching technology that would enable taking even more lives…how can they—how can they—how can we —how does one even fight against the Dark Side? Against such reckless, all-consuming hatred?!"
Obi-Wan exhaled heavily, his face shifting—trying to find an explanation, an answer to her heartbreaking questions.
But her words didn't just echo the thoughts he himself had been thinking every now and then over the past few months.
They amplified them.
They were the same thoughts that kept him awake on some nights, the same fears he had been grappling with, now voiced out loud.
But what his teenage Padawan didn't realize was just how profound and how powerful the questions she was now asking truly were.
Jaina sighed wearily, lowering her head into her hands.
Obi-Wan studied her, his expression tinged with a quiet sorrow. For a brief moment, it was as if he could see the innocent little girl with a sheepish, dimpled grin who had cornered him after Exhibition Day…
…but now, mature and wise beyond her years, filled with the weariness of a veteran soldier who had seen far too much, far too often.
He knelt down in front of her and placed a gentle hand on her knee.
"You fight them by doing what we just did, Jaina," he said quietly. "By refusing to become like them."
He gently lifted her chin, his eyes locking firmly with hers. "Look at me, dearest," he murmured softly, his voice steady yet gentle. "You keep fighting with your kindness, your compassion. With your strength of character, and your faith in the Force."
"You never give up, no matter the odds," he concluded quietly. "Because as evil as they can be, we see the good in the galaxy. In people."
"And that is exactly what we are fighting for."
Jaina exhaled heavily, lowering her gaze to the floor once more and struggling to keep her emotions in check. "These past months, I never questioned the ruthlessness of the Separatists," she murmured. "I knew, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that they were willing to go through any and all means to achieve their ends…But to see those means on civilians…"
The Jedi Master's lips tightened as he listened to her. Once again, her words were echoes of his own thoughts. What her innocent little face did not yet see was just how dark and horrifying the galaxy could truly be.
And as that epiphany dawned on his little Padawan after the harrowing mission, Obi-Wan realized just how much he feared for her…
…how much it hurt him to watch her grow up in a galaxy so cruel.
"Jaina…" he began quietly, gently cupping her cheek. "This is war. There are no happy endings for everyone." He paused. "But do not let it harden your heart." He continued to study her weary expression, his thumb gently rubbing at the little freckles. He knew their infiltration into Durd's bioweapon facility would likely be a mission she would remember for the rest of the war.
For the rest of her life.
"War is cruel, my little one." He whispered, squeezing her cheek once more, then lowering his hand back to her knee. "Life is difficult. But that does not change the fact that we must fight. We must make the impossible choice, to protect those who cannot protect themselves."
"I know," Jaina sighed softly. Her eyes wearily slid closed.
"…All those years I spent as a youngling…I couldn't wait to finally be a Padawan…" She chuckled weakly, a tinge of wry bitterness making its way into the soft laugh. "Only for it to finally happen during a galactic war…I just...sometimes, I wish…sometimes, I wish things were different…"
Obi-Wan clenched his jaw, feeling his throat tightening. Her words echoed his own sentiments, the musings he would never dare utter out loud.
His own life had been so drastically different at her age. A peaceful time, an easier time. Not that Obi-Wan necessarily wished things could have been easier. But…what else could he say to his dear fourteen year-old? Forced into circumstances they both had so little control over?
"I know, my darling," Obi-Wan softly responded, giving her hand another squeeze as he sat himself back down next to her. "But we must make do."
Jaina pursed her lips and nodded. "I know."
Obi-Wan gently wrapped an arm around his little one, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head, before resting his own against it. The two of them continued to sit, now in silent contemplation—both of them struggling with their own thoughts, their own inner demons.
The horrific memories of the Lanteeb facility still fresh.
"…But remember…" the Jedi Master said quietly, turning towards his little one. "You are not alone. We have each other. We will get through this. Together."
Jaina offered a soft smile. "No matter what happens…I will always be grateful that the Force brought me to your side, my Master."
Obi-Wan turned to look at her once more, a gentle look of amusement on his face—if only to mask how deeply her words had truly moved him. "What are you saying, Jaina?" He asked, his tone both tender, and teasing. "We have only been working together for five months—we have many more exciting missions to come."
The Jedi Master shook his head, chuckling softly. "I hope you did not think I was planning on letting you off so easily?"
"You? Letting me off easily?" Jaina snorted. "Never."
"Are you insinuating something about my teaching methods, young one?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.
She smirked. "Not at all, Master."
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and chuckled fondly as he watched her lips turn up into that oh-so-familiar smirk, a little expression of hers that he had grown to love throughout their time together…even if it often came paired with sass.
"That's what I thought," he quipped back dryly, returning her mischievous grin with one of his own. He wrapped an arm around his little one's shoulders once more and gently tucked her under his chin, pulling her closer to his side.
They sat in comfortable silence, both lost in their own thoughts.
The Jedi Master's eyes trailed up towards the ceiling of the ship, his mind drifting back to the events of the past twenty-four hours, before finally settling back on his Padawan.
"My little one…?" he murmured.
Jaina hummed softly in reply, not speaking, just listening.
"…this war will not last forever," Obi-Wan said quietly. "As brutal and as difficult as things may become, you must always remember that there is hope."
"And for the record," he added quietly, offering her a gentle smile. "I shall always be grateful to the Force as well. For bringing me you." He tucked her head under his chin once more. "We will get through this."
The Jedi Master knew that she understood what he meant—that even as the galaxy around them continued to burn…
…they had their friendship. They had their bond.
They had this.
Master and Padawan sat together in pensive silence, Jaina wearily closing her eyes for another moment as she rested her head in the crook of his neck.
Just as she found herself drifting off to sleep, she jolted awake once more as the console analyzing the data began to beep.