JJ's head was pounding. She groaned as she lifted her chin up to look at her surroundings.
She was in a large room with a wooden staircase leading down into it. There was a distinct smell of damp and white paint was peeling off the walls revealing the brick beneath.
A basement.
She tried to move but found her arms and legs strapped to a chair.
She shuddered at this realisation as memories came flooding back.
JJ and Lomax left the building and went to cross the road towards the diner.
"Oh! One second! I need to get the boxes from my car." Lomax said suddenly.
"You do the breakfast run often then?" JJ said with a smile.
"Everyday I'm here. I've lost count of how many times I've been told it's my most important role." He said rolling his eyes.
She felt a pang of sympathy for the man as she followed him to the boot of his car.
He opened the boot and handed her a couple of boxes.
Then he disappeared behind her. Before she could turn to see what he was doing, everything went black.
She recalled waking up briefly in a dark confined space, feeling the bumps of the road beneath her. She managed to become partially aware that she was in the boot of a vehicle before she lost consciousness again.
Struggling against her bonds, she realised with horror that Deputy Lomax was likely the Unsub and she had been blitz attacked. She fit the victim type almost perfectly. The thought made a shiver run down her spine. She knew what he did to his victims.
Her thoughts then turned briefly to Reid. She wondered if he had felt this scared when he was in the same position. She could only assume he did.
She tried pulling at her restraints again, to no avail. She knew all she could do was wait until the Unsub decided to interact with her.
She could only be thankful for the fact that she had been present for the delivery of the profile. This man wanted Tammy, and if she had any hope of surviving any longer than a few hours, she would need to play along with his fantasy. That was her best chance of survival.
She was also grateful for the fact that the team had a very solid geographic profile. These had been somewhat lacking since Reid's absence from the team. She couldn't be sure, but she didn't think the Unsub had travelled that far with her. He was likely local, which hopefully meant the team would be on his trail very soon.
Her mind flicked back to Reid again. He had warned her. Tried to stop her from going to the diner. She kicked herself for not taking him seriously. She would never write off his instincts as simple trauma again.
Henry crossed her mind. And Will. She needed to get home for them. She couldn't leave Henry without a mother. She wanted to watch him grow. He was already so much more than she ever expected.
She needed to see what he would become. To hold his hand and guide him through life. Through his first day at school, his first date, his first heartbreak, his first job, his first child; so, so many things she had imagined but never contemplated not being there for.
She broke down momentarily, allowing a small sob to escape her lips. The fear was settling in her chest. She had to survive. She simply had to.
She shifted again, testing her bonds but found no escape. Suddenly the door to the basement flipped open and a pair of feet started descending the stairs.
Reid felt a hand gently slapping his cheek. He groaned as he stirred back into consciousness.
The hot sun was beaming down on his face, making it difficult to open his eyes. His chest felt tight like he had been on a fast run.
"Reid, wake up man!" He could hear Morgan's voice pulling him round. He squinted his eyes open and looked around him.
He was in the middle of the road, gun in hand, surrounded by a panicked looking team and Sheriff. But they weren't panicking about him. Their attentions were somewhere else.
Morgan looked into his eyes, they were frantic; scared.
"Reid, can you get up?"
He nodded, still feeling dazed.
Morgan pulled him up by the arms onto shaky feet. He looked around at the team.
Prentiss, Rossi Hotch, Morgan, JJ- no? No JJ.
Then it hit him like a truck.
"JJ! She's gone! Morgan, she's gone! He took her!" He cried, grabbing onto Morgan's shoulders as if he didn't know.
"We know, Reid! We know!"
"We will find her." Prentiss said, her voice determined.
"Oh god, she can't go through that, he can't do that to her. We have to find her!"
"Garcia is looking into him as we speak. If anyone can find where he has taken her, it will be her." Morgan said confidently.
"Let's get inside. It's too hot out here. We will think straighter in the cool." Hotch said. A deep frown on his face. He couldn't believe this was happening. This had been the worst year of his life as BAU leader and it was only July.
"Come on." Morgan said, pulling Reid inside by his arm.
The expressions of the deputies were somewhat different now. Sheepish in some cases, guilt-ridden in others. The profile had been right all along and none of them had taken the time to examine the people they knew. All believing that they couldn't possibly not notice something like that about a person they saw regularly. Now the blonde FBI agent was missing, taken by a man they worked with, by someone who had raped and murdered four local women. To say they were embarrassed by their behaviour was an understatement.
The looks on the faces of the team said it all. They were beyond devastated.
Upon seeing Reid being pulled in by Morgan, Deputy Phillips approached.
"I'm so sorry" He said, shaking his head. Not knowing what else to say.
Reid looked at him through hard and traumatised eyes.
"Fuck off." He snapped, suddenly regaining control over his steps and sweeping past him into the BAU room.
Phillips stepped back, a look of shock crossing his face. He looked to the other agents. Morgan mirrored his expression.
"You heard him." Rossi said, his expression showed nothing but contempt. Morgan shot him a look, it seemed he wasn't the only protective one here.
Phillips dipped his gaze and slinked away, tail between his legs.
Rossi smiled a little. He felt a little proud of the kid.
They all followed Reid into the room and shut the door.
Dialling Garcia, Hotch put his phone in the centre of the table.
"Please tell me you found her." She said quickly and hopefully.
"Not yet. Have you found anything?"
"Oh god. Oh god. He owns an apartment!"
"Deputies are on their way now. We don't expect to find her there. He needs privacy." Hotch countered.
"He was a registered carer for his father. But his father is now in a care home." As she kept reading her voice picked up speed and excitement. "He has a property 3 miles from where you are! It's rural, two acres of land. That's it, isn't it? That's it!"
"Address?" Reid said impatiently.
"346 Swan Way."
Reid quickly assessed the map.
"That's within his comfort zone."
The team all looked to each other, hope sparked in their eyes.
"If he knows we're after him, would he really take her to the same place?" Prentiss looked concerned.
"He knows he won't hit any roadblocks." Hotch responded.
"And he's clearly devolving, he must have known taking Jennifer was bound to expose him. I think he knows his game is up." Morgan said, this realisation concerned him greatly. It just put JJ at that much higher risk.
"Or the fantasy is taking over his ability to make informed decisions." Rossi added quickly.
"Either way, he will stick to his comfort zone. I don't think this was planned. It was sloppy, desperate. He will have no where else to take her." Morgan mused.
"Garcia?" Hotch called out.
"Already on your phones, Sir. Now go get our girl back." Hotch disconnected the call.
The team all stood unpacking their vests from their bags.
"He will be armed. So we need to be careful. If he realises his time is up, we could be looking at suicide by cop and if we're not careful, he could take JJ with him. I need all of you focused for this."
He looked to Reid, who appeared more than a little in his own head.
"Reid?" Hotch tried to gain his attention but he was too busy fastening the straps on his vest.
"Reid!" Morgan nudged him to get his attention and nodded towards Hotch.
"I think you should sit this one out." Hotch said, the concern evident in his voice.
"Not a chance. He could have... I need to be there, I need to see her."
"And you can. But I think it's best if you're not part of the takedown."
"You're benching me?" Reid said furiously.
"I just think it's too much of a risk to put you into that environment knowing it was you in JJ's shoes only a few months ago." Hotch spoke honestly. More honestly than the team was expecting. There was little time for subtlety but the directness of it still came as a shock.
Reid glared at him, his anger was plain to see.
"I will be fine." He said through gritted teeth. "It would serve you better to worry about Jennifer right now. Sir."
He holstered on his weapon, completely ignoring Hotch's instructions and headed to the department entrance to wait for the team.
Some of the deputies automatically parted to allow him through, seeing an uncharacteristic aggressiveness in him. This scene couldn't have been more different than 12 hours before.
Hotch looked to Rossi who simply raised his eyebrows, signalling to Hotch that it was an argument he wouldn't win. They all knew how much JJ meant to Reid and the chances of him not involving himself in one way or another were not good. If he involved himself without back up, which wasn't unheard of, then things would get dangerous.
Even worse, if they lost her and he wasn't there, he'd never forgive them.
"God I hope we're not too late." Prentiss said, solemnly.
Morgan looked at her, knowing what she meant. The disgust was plain in his face. First Reid, now JJ. He wasn't sure the team could survive this. The amount of trauma such an act caused was devastating. To have them both navigating the same ocean of hurt would be almost too much to bear.
Hotch left the room to assemble Sheriff Miller and some deputies whilst the others went to wait with Reid at the door.
"This is taking too long. He could be doing anything to her right now." Reid said, his foot tapping impatiently. "If anything happens to her I'll never forgive myself."
"We all feel the same, kid." Rossi put a hand to his shoulder but Reid jerked it away.
Suddenly Hotch was next to them with a large group of armed deputies.
"Let's go."
JJ felt like the feet moving down the stairs were taking forever.
Each step brought a new question. What would he do to her? Would he be angry or calm? Violent or kind? Would he rape her and if so, would he be gentle or brutal?
She held her breath. His feet had finally reached the floor and no doubt her questions would be answered.
Deputy Lomax stood in front of her. He had changed out of his uniform into a blue t-shirt and jeans. He held a knife in his right hand. Thankfully, his gun did not appear to be present.
His expression was nothing short of crazed. He looked completely strung out.
JJ was shocked to see the difference in his appearance over such a short period of time. Before, he could have passed a military inspection. His facial hair looked well groomed, he appeared rested and his appearance was neat and tidy. Now that very same facial hair looked wiry and unruly, his hair had too many flyaways and his clothing looked like he had just grabbed it from the floor and slung it on.
This did nothing to reassure her.
He approached her slowly, reaching out his hand to her cheek. JJ did nothing but cautiously watched the hand extend towards her.
He stroked her cheek gently.
"Tammy" He whispered. "You're so beautiful."
A shiver ran down her spine as his hands kept stroking and landed in her hair.
She closed her eyes.
"Don't close your eyes. They are my favourite thing about you." He said gently. "Don't be scared." He knelt down in front of her one hand now behind her head and the other stroking her cheek still.
An involuntary tear slipped down her face.
"Tammy?" He looked at her curiously.
"Y-yes?" She stammered.
He smiled as she seemed to accept the name.
"Why are you crying?" He wiped the tear away from her cheek. Another quickly followed.
"I'm sorry." She said gently, her voice shaking. "You scared me, that's all. My head hurts." She referred to the wound he had given her in order to subdue her.
He gasped a little, taking her face in his hands.
"I'm so sorry about that. I didn't know if you would come with me. I'm so sorry I hurt you."
JJ went to speak but was cut off by him pulling her in for a gentle kiss.
Every nerve in her body was screaming at her to fight back. But she knew it wouldn't help and she had to get this guy to think that she was trustworthy. If she ruined his fantasy, she would be dead. And that couldn't happen. She needed to survive for Henry.
The kiss seemed to last forever. However, she was eternally thankful that he seemed content with chaste kisses to her lips. She didn't respond.
"Is something wrong?" He looked at her curiously, noting that he seemed to be doing all of the work.
"No." JJ responded quickly with a trembling voice. "Not at all." She attempted a smile at him. If it looked genuine to him then it certainly didn't feel it.
He seemed satisfied with this and pulled her into another kiss, this time deepening it. She tried her best to respond this time. Nausea was bubbling in the pit of her stomach.
He pulled away, staring deep into her eyes.
"You're so perfect, Tammy." His hands suddenly came down to the buttons on her shirt and he started unfastening them. She closed her eyes again terrified.
"What?" He said, looking at her, the offence clear in his expression. "You don't want this?"
JJ could have almost laughed. She felt like screaming in his face 'NO OF COURSE I DON'T FUCKING WANT THIS!' But instead she leaned back on the small amount of video she had watched of Reid with Jason.
"I'm sorry." She stuttered. "This is all just happening very quickly." She smiled at him again, hoping beyond hope that the words would work better than they did for Reid.
To her surprise, he stopped.
"Maybe- maybe we can talk for a bit? " She knew that if she soothed his ego, she may have some shot at survival. It wouldn't be long before the team knew she was missing. She was expected back within fifteen minutes after all, and it was already nagging at Reid, so hopefully he would realise even sooner. If she could just stall him long enough, she would be okay.
She knew he felt perpetually undervalued in life. If he could gain acceptance and recognition from Tammy, then perhaps he would take things more slowly. "I don't really know you, and I want to get to know you."
He looked taken aback.
"You want to get to know me?"
"Yes, of course." She said gently. Relief washed over her. This seemed to be working. Unlike with Reid who had simply been tortured into compliance. The man in front of her, despite initial assumptions, seemed to be a completely different animal. "If we are going to be together then I want to know everything about you.'
Lomax then moved away, grabbing another chair from the side of the room and pulled it towards her. He sat down facing her.
JJ once again mentally thanked her team for the profile. No other team in the world could do what they do so accurately.
"What do you want to know?" He said with genuine curiosity.
JJ hadn't thought this far ahead. Her mouth dropped open a little as she thought quickly.
"Everything. Tell me everything." She smiled.
The team were in two SUV's on their way to the house. Hotch, Rossi and Reid in one. Morgan and Prentiss in another.
"If JJ is in there, we need to be very careful. If he is devolving, he will go down in a blaze of glory." Hotch spoke to the radio for both vehicles to hear.
"What if he's not devolving?" Reid asked genuinely.
Morgan raised an eyebrow and spoke back through the radio.
"He clearly is, Reid. The change of dumpsites, the length of time he holds his victims, taking JJ. They are all desperate plays to keep the fantasy alive."
"But what if they're not?"
"What do you mean?" Prentiss asked, the confusion was clear in her voice. Hotch was now watching Reid on and off through the rear view mirror as he drove.
"Deputy Lomax has been highly organised. Any deviations in his M.O. appear to have been directly influenced by our investigation. Even the most recent change in dumpsite was in response to the information that he obtained from me during the profile delivery. When I spoke to him, he didn't seem like someone who was panicking, nor did he seem reckless. He's not shown any signs of breaking down at work or made anyone suspicious, which would be difficult to do if he was truly devolving."
"So Reid, what's your point?"
"Rossi has mentioned a few times that his fantasy may just be getting stronger. I'd go even further and say that it's entered the realm of delusion and he can no longer tell the difference between reality and fantasy."
"But Reid, organisation and delusion of that level are almost always mutually exclusive." Hotch countered, feeling like they were wasting time with this line of thinking.
"Randall Garner." Reid said simply. "Do you remember what you said Gideon told you?"
Hotch looked at Reid curiously through the rear view mirror. He could recall something, but he doubted he could recall it as efficiently as Reid.
"Randall Garner?" Prentiss questioned.
Reid continued. "The only way for the organisation level to be so high is that he has to believe it's all real. We have to make him see that it's not." He repeated Gideon's words. They washed over Hotch and Morgan as they once again became familiar. "If he genuinely believes that these women are Tammy then the second they don't play into that role, it would cause him such intense discomfort that he would have to kill them. Perhaps the length of time that he kept them wasn't intentionally changed or due to devolution but related more to their ability to play along. It's not surprising that the person who knew Tammy the best survived the longest."
"So you think he's not just trying to make these women behave like Tammy, you think he actually believes they are Tammy?" Rossi asked.
"Yes, wholeheartedly he believes this." Reid was so sure. He was so rarely wrong about these things but something about this just seemed unlikely.
"Okay, so if you're right, Reid you do remember what happened with Randall Garner, don't you?" Morgan said. It was a rhetorical question.
As usual, Reid answered.
"He blew up the house with us in it." He said, simply stating a fact.
"No Reid, he blew up the house whilst you were trying to convince him that none of it was real. He nearly killed you."
"So convincing him it wasn't real didn't work?" Rossi asked.
"It actually did. But he had already made the decision to kill himself before we even arrived. He had already depressed the detonator before I started talking. He was in denial about the death of his family and truly believed that his daughter Rebecca had also died. But he had her locked in his basement. By the end, he told me how he couldn't save them. He finally recognised Rebecca as his daughter but couldn't forgive himself."
"That sounds intense." Prentiss said dryly.
"So you believe that if we can just convince Lomax that Tammy is gone and get him to see what he is doing then he will end this peacefully?" Hotch said.
"I do." Reid said.
"What are we doing here, Hotch?" Morgan asked urgently. They were fast approaching the location.
Hotch looked at Reid through the rear view mirror again. He wasn't entirely convinced by the theory but he had to admit, it did make sense. He hated himself for asking this question, but could he trust it? This was Reid's first case back. It wasn't unheard of for traumatised agents to make huge leaps into the realms of thinking zebras when they were just hearing horses.
Clearing his throat.
"Dave, do you still have a picture of Tammy?"
He reached into his pocket and pulled it out.
"Good. We will try to convince him that it's not real, but if there is any indication that it isn't working or he is going to hurt JJ, we go back to Plan A. Dave, you take the lead on this."
Rossi nodded.
The SUVs pulled up outside the property, flanked by a large number of Sheriff Department vehicles.
"Now we just have to hope she's here." Prentiss said ominously.
They all gathered outside of the property.
Hotch looked to Sheriff Miller.
"If he is in here, we need to do the talking. You cannot interfere with the take down. We are dealing with a delusion and need to handle it in a very specific manner."
Sheriff Miller nodded. He was clearly not happy.
"If you don't feel you can control your anger around him then I will ask that you step away from the situation. The life of our agent is at stake." Hotch said firmly, knowing the man was seething with Lomax at that moment.
"I won't get in your way. You have my word." Sheriff Miller reassured him. As angry as he was, he wasn't going to be the one responsible for the death of an FBI agent.
"Prentiss, Reid, you take the back."
They nodded taking two Deputies with them.
"The rest of you with me."
They moved to the front door. Prentiss signalled over the radio that her and Reid were in position.
"Whatever we find, we remain calm. Understood?"
Morgan and Rossi nodded and Prentiss gave an affirmative over the radio. Their nerves were in their stomachs. Their hands once again were all shaking. All they wanted was to find JJ alive and well. But their knowledge of the case didn't give them much hope of that.
"You okay?" Prentiss looked to Reid who nodded back, his expression was serious and she could tell he was just itching to enter the property, like they all were.
Hotch gave a countdown and they all burst in.
Hotch cleared the hallway and the living room to the left.
Morgan and Rossi found themselves in an empty study then came back out to find a downstairs bathroom, which they also cleared. They met back up with Hotch and continued down the hallway then moved upstairs.
A 'clear' from Prentiss came from the kitchen and Reid confirmed that the pantry was cleared. They both met Hotch in the hallway. There was a doorway under the stairs that presumably led to a basement. Hotch nodded towards it.
Listening against the door, Hotch eyed Prentiss and gestured to his ear to suggest that he could hear noise coming from behind the door.
Reid whispered over the radio, "Hallway, basement door. There's movement."
Soon Rossi and Morgan were making their way back downstairs and gathered behind Hotch.
They took a collective deep breath, terrified about what they might find. They all exchanged nervous looks, then Hotch nodded. A second later they were heading through the door and down the stairs into the basement.
Sheriff Miller stopped his deputies from progressing down the stairs and held at the top ready to provide back up if necessary. He knew if they went down there then one of them would say something they could live to regret.
"FBI! Deputy Lomax, put down the weapon." Hotch ordered. As the team filtered into the room they found their eyes resting on JJ tied to a chair by the wrists and ankles, tears running down her face and her shirt unbuttoned down to the bra. Lomax was holding a knife right to her throat.
Reid's mouth dropped open at the sight and his hands shook. JJ made eye contact with him. She looked terrified. An image of Lomax assaulting her flashed in front of his eyes and he blinked it away, desperately trying to remain focused.
"Don't come any closer! Or I'll kill her!" Lomax shouted.
Rossi made a display of putting his gun back into his holster and stepping in front of the other Agents to separate himself as a non-threatening entity.
"Deputy Lomax... Sam. You don't want to do this." He said gently.
Lomax's eyes quickly flicked down to JJ and he stroked her hair. His grip on the knife wavered a little. JJ's breathing was heavy and she closed her eyes, the fear shot through her chest at his touch.
"The woman you have there is our friend. Jennifer Jareau. She is not Tammy."
"No! You're lying!" His hands shook as he looked at Rossi. He pulled the knife up closer to JJ's throat and she gasped.
"Listen to me Sam, very carefully. Tammy died in a car accident two months ago. The woman in front of you is not Tammy. She is called Jennifer Jareau and she is an FBI agent. You need to let her go."
Lomax closed his eyes, shaking his head.
"No, no, no, NO! She's Tammy. My beautiful Tammy." He placed a kiss on the top of her head. JJ was shaking now.
Morgan's face twitched in disgust at the kiss. He held his weapon tighter. He just wanted to shoot the guy right between the eyes.
"Your Tammy was beautiful, Sam. You're right. But the lady in front of you is not Tammy. You know Tammy died."
He reached into his pocket pulling out Tammy's photograph and held it out towards Deputy Lomax.
"I know she meant everything to you. And you never got to be together. You never got to show her how you felt. But killing innocent women isn't going to bring her back."
Lomax brought his spare hand up to his temple.
"Stop lying to me!" He shouted angrily, making JJ jump a little.
Reid closed his eyes for a brief second. Seeing the pure fear in JJ's face was just too much to cope with. He just wanted to get her out and make sure no one ever touched her again.
"I am not lying to you, Sam." Rossi continued calmly and took a careful step forward towards the Deputy. "Just look, the woman in this picture is Tammy." Lomax was shifting his weight between both feet now. Clearly doubts were setting in and he was getting agitated. This was the element of this plan that made Hotch the most nervous. If they were wrong about this, this would be the moment where they'd lose a dear friend and a suicide by cop scenario would ensue.
"Please, Sam. Just look." Rossi implored. To the untrained eye, Rossi appeared calm and collected. But to those that knew him, a slight shake in his voice was present.
Lomax's eyes flicked over to the picture for a split second and he looked away. But a hint of recognition lit up and he found his gaze being drawn back to the picture.
"That's it, Son. You see, this is Tammy." Rossi said gently, with a sad smile. "Look at the woman in front of you. She isn't Tammy, and deep down, I think you know that."
Doubt began to form on the man's face and his grip on the weapon loosened. He reached forward for the photograph, but the knife was still dangerously close to JJ's throat. He looked between the photograph and his captive, his head shaking.
"Come on, Sam. Put the knife down. You don't want to do this."
Tears were starting to leave his eyes now.
"She was so beautiful." His voice broke. "She never even so much as looked at me. I was so good to her, but she didn't even know I existed." Anger started to burst forth now. "Just like all of them. They all think they are too good for me."
"JJ doesn't. Do you, Jennifer? You were only telling me earlier how much you liked Deputy Lomax, weren't you."
She looked to Rossi slightly wide eyed. She had already spent the last thirty minutes trying to placate the man with conversation. Hopefully this would be the final push to get her released.
She nodded as much as she could with the knife threatening her throat.
"Yes. Yes I was. Sam, you and I have a connection. I've really enjoyed talking to you."
He looked at her, as if finally seeing her for the first time.
"JJ?" He said unsurely.
"Yes, that's JJ. Jennifer Jareau." Rossi confirmed.
Lomax's mouth dropped open and his knife wielding hand loosened further.
Morgan who had been carefully and quietly moving around the perimeter of the basement was paused not far from the man, ready to move in when the opportunity arose.
"I have a clear shot." He called out intentionally to spook the man.
He jumped a little, noticing the weapon trained on him. If Reid was right then the man would not want to die.
He looked at the gun for a few moments and then back to his knife. Suddenly the knife was dropped to the floor and he hugged the photograph of Tammy to his chest.
He looked to JJ with tears in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He in some form of mantra. repeated
Morgan was suddenly upon on him and forcing his hands behind his back. He cried out in shock.
"Shut up!" Morgan said angrily, shaking the man.
The team were at JJ's side as she broke down into tears of relief and terror.
Prentiss moved to untie her arms.
"You're safe, Jayje. You're safe now."
not been too confident in his ability to pull this one off.
Reid was also at JJ's side undoing the ties to her legs.
"You're okay , JJ. Everything is okay." His hands were shaking violently.
Once her bonds were all released she quickly stood, desperate to get away from that chair. Reid grabbed her into a back breaking hug.
"Are you okay?" He asked desperately. She returned his hug gratefully.
"I'm fine, Spence. I'm so sorry I didn't listen." She said, breaking down.
Reid just squeezed her tighter. She could feel the tremors running through his body. He had been terrified for her.
He then released her and looked her in the face.
"Don't apologise, JJ. I'm so glad you're here." Tears were running down his face now and he stepped back to allow Prentiss to move in for a hug.
Reid just watched in shocked and relieved silence as the team all fussed around JJ, checking her for injuries. He noticed her top was undone. Prentiss discreetly asked her about it but she maintained that nothing had happened.
The world seemed to be moving in slow motion. The adrenaline that had been coursing through his veins had suddenly dissipated, leaving him like a discharged battery. He couldn't move.
Suddenly a hand landed on his shoulder and he jumped, slightly startled.
"Well done, kiddo." Rossi smiled at him. "You got her back." He squeezed.
Reid just looked at him, his eyes wide.
Rossi then moved over to JJ, who was now refastening her top. A medic was shining a light in her eyes clearly checking for signs of concussion.
Reid looked around the dingy basement, it felt suffocating and oppressive. He had to get out of there.
He saw JJ being led out by a
Hotch looked to Rossi, the relief was clear in his eyes. He nodded his thanks to him. Rossi's eye twitched nervously, he had clearly medic and took the opportunity to leave behind her.
A firm hand grabbed his wrist, again he startled.
"Reid, you okay?" Hotch asked, his brows furrowed.
Reid simply nodded, all he could think about was getting out of that basement.
Hotch smiled a little. "Good work."
Again, he just nodded, pulled his wrist free and headed upstairs and out of the basement.
When Prentiss emerged from the house she found Reid sitting on the hood of one of the Sheriff's vehicles just staring at JJ with the paramedics.
"Hey." She smiled with a relieved breath out. Receiving no response, she followed his gaze. "She's okay, Reid. She's safe and well."
Reid reacted and turned his head like he was on a five second delay. This didn't go unnoticed.
"Did he..." His words trailed off.
Knowing his meaning immediately, Prentiss reassured him.
"No Reid, she said he didn't touch her like that at all. Thank god. She's absolutely fine. A bit shaken up but she'll be okay."
Reid just stared at her like processing the information was a little too much for his brain to cope with.
"Good." He said, there was some disbelief in his voice.
His head turned back in the direction of JJ and he just kept staring. Prentiss looked at him sadly, feeling the overwhelming urge to give him a reassuring hug. Instead she opted for perching next to him on the hood of the car and putting an arm around his shoulders.
Rossi and Hotch emerged from the house, moving past Morgan who was clearly on the phone to a delighted Garcia.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing sights like that." Rossi said, shaking his head. "I was worried we weren't going to get her out."
"You did it, Dave. She's safe. Thanks to you."
Dave raised his eyebrows towards Reid.
"Thanks to the kid, you mean. Only he could come back and on his first case have an epiphany like that." He said, shaking his head in admiration.
"Yeah, well it's taken it out of him. Once JJ is cleared, it's time to go home, I think."
Dave nodded as Hotch turned to walk away. Then he stopped.
"You know, I realised this morning that this is the worst year I've had as BAU chief and it's only July." He said with a hint of humour and a dark smile.
"Better days are coming, my friend." Rossi smiled.
"I hope so."
JJ was sat at the back of the aircraft, deep in thought. She had just spoken with Will who had been deep in panic since Garcia had contacted him to tell him what was going on. She had since called him with the good news, but it wasn't until he heard JJ's voice that he could completely relax.
Now all JJ wanted to do was get home to her husband and son. There were a few moments today where she was sure that was never going to be possible. So she was going to make the most of their reunion. She felt incredibly lucky.
The seat opposite her was suddenly occupied by Hotch. He looked at her with a softened scowl.
"Are you okay?"
She smiled at him, her eyes watering up slightly.
"Yeah, I'm fine. It's been a hell of a day." She said with a laugh.
He gave a tight lipped smile in response.
"Have you spoken with Will?" He knew she had, it was just a conversation piece.
"Yeah. He's so relieved." She laughed a little. "So am I."
Hotch nodded.
"I want you to take two weeks off. Spend time with Will and Henry."
JJ shook her head.
"That's really not necessary, Hotch. Nothing really happened."
"JJ, you were held by a man who had already raped and killed four women. This isn't a request."
Her eyes went a little dark.
"Okay, Sir. Thank you."
"If you need anything, you know where I am." He stood up. "And JJ?" She looked up at him. "I know you fed into his delusion. That was smart. Good work."
"Thank you, Sir." She smiled genuinely now. It didn't matter who it was, a compliment from Hotch always meant the world.
"Get some rest." He smiled and left to find his seat further up the aircraft.
Once Hotch had left, Reid sheepishly came to sit opposite her. He grabbed her hand across the table and she smiled kindly at him.
"Are you okay?" The concern was clear in his soft eyes.
"Yeah, Spence. I am fine." She said strongly, to reassure him as much as possible. He looked to her head wound like a worried child. "It's just a cut. The doctors say it will heal in a few days. Honestly, there is nothing to worry about." She squeezed his hand.
He nodded, clearly not entirely convinced.
"I'm so glad we found you. If I'd have lost you..." His eyes clouded up a little with tears.
"Hey, don't do that. I'm here. I'm fine." She leaned across the table now. "Thanks to you."
His brows furrowed.
"I know it was you who recognised he was stuck in a delusion. If you hadn't, things could have gone very differently. As awful as the things he did were, he just needed help. And he will get that now."
Reid nodded, deep in thought.
"Did he do anything to you?" He said, not looking at her at first.
"No, Spence. No, he didn't."
He looked at her seriously now.
"Your top was open, JJ."
"Honestly, Reid. He kissed me a couple of times and then he started unbuttoning my top but I managed to get him to stop."
"How?" Reid asked, curiously. He clearly didn't believe that she wasn't hiding something from him.
She cleared her throat slightly, awkwardly.
"I told him that I knew he wanted to be close to me but he was just moving a bit too fast for me." She didn't look at him as she said it.
Reid's eyes widened a little as he recognised the words.
"And.. and that worked?" He asked.
"Yeah, it fed into his delusion and from there I got him to start telling me about himself. Like we were on a date almost."
Reid nodded thoughtfully again. She squeezed his hand.
"I swear, I'm not hiding anything from you, Spence. A couple of kisses. That's all it was."
"I'm sorry you had to go through that." His voice was soft and gentle. Clearly upset.
"It wasn't pleasant. But I'm okay. It could have been a lot worse."
Reid put his head back and looked out of the window. JJ mirrored his movement. They stayed silent for a short while, each in their own thoughts.
"You know when I was there, I thought about you a lot."
His gaze shot towards her. She didn't look at him, she still gazed out of the window.
"All I could think is, if it did get worse, you survived it. I knew how scared I was and that was just from the threat of it. I could only imagine how you must have felt and what you went through. And you're still here. And I knew, that if it was going to go that way, I would have to be strong like you." A tear ran down her cheek.
Reid breathed a deep breath, tears were threatening to break forth. He then looked out the window again.
JJ observed him for a few moments, her emotions getting the better of her.
"Seriously, Spence. I don't know how you did it. I was so, so scared." Her voice broke.
He turned to her quickly and reached to grab her shaky hand again.
"JJ, it's okay." He said comfortingly. He hated seeing her like this.
"How did you survive it?" She gazed at him seriously now. Her eyes clearly pressing for an answer.
He stared her in the eyes for a few moments, his gaze hardening a little.
"I didn't have much choice in it." He shrugged. "He didn't kill me, so I survived."
"No, but-"
"JJ, this isn't about me, okay? This is about you."
"I guess I just wanted to tell you how strong I think you are."
Reid took a shuddering breath. His eyes welled up.
"I'm not strong, JJ." He shook his head.
"Yes, Reid, you are."
He sat quietly for a few moments, mulling something over in his head. He licked his lips a few times as if he was going to speak then kept stopping himself. In the end, his voice won.
"Let me tell you something." He whispered, making sure that no one else was going to hear. JJ leaned in closer. Reid wouldn't look at her, he kept his gaze down on the table. "When I stabbed him, I messed up."
She frowned at him, clearly confused. He pulled his hand away.
"It took all of the strength I had left just to put that knife in his throat and then he moved away. I couldn't hold onto it. If I had, I'd have used it on myself next."
JJ stared at him, wide eyed.
"No. No, you wouldn't." She shook her head at him in denial.
He finally looked at her, his eyes deadly serious.
"I would, JJ. That was the plan. I was going to cut my wrists. And I was disappointed that I couldn't. I threw stuff at him because I hated the fact that he managed to take that choice away from me too." He shook his head, clearly reliving his discontent.
JJ stared at him in shocked silence. She didn't know what to make of his words. She supposed it made sense that he would feel that death was his only escape. But he had killed Jason. Yet his plan was to die too. Somehow she really hadn't realised quite how bad this had been. Maybe it was because she didn't watch much of the video or because there was an element of her that had always been in denial and avoidance about it but to think of Reid alone, surrounded by death and just wanting to join them? It broke her.
Tears started running down her face.
"Spence, I- I had no idea." She said quietly.
"JJ, please don't be upset. It's all over now. It's done."
"But to know you wanted to die. I just... I can't. You're my best friend and that kills me."
He just stared down at the table, not saying anything.
She observed him again, reading something in his expression.
"You don't still feel like that, do you?"
He took his gaze to the window again.
"Spence?" JJ prodded gently.
"I wouldn't do that to you." He said simply.
That didn't answer her question. She went to speak again and Reid stood up. He leaned over the table and kissed the top of her head.
"Get some rest, JJ. I'm so glad you're okay."
He squeezed her hand once more before moving up the aircraft and finding his way onto the sofa and grabbing a pillow.
She watched him sit back into the corner and rest his head against the pillow and close his eyes. After a few moments he opened them again and stared out of the window deep in thought.
She frowned. How did she not see it before? The deadness in his eyes that they saw in the hospital had never really gone away. Perhaps she had gotten used to it. But she realised the eyes she could see were not really his. Some part of him had died in that basement.
The guilt washed over her. She had taken such a backseat when it came to helping him, allowing it to largely fall on Morgan's shoulders.
Morgan: not exactly a poster child for dealing with such issues in a healthy manner. He was more comfortable to see himself implicated in a murder than allow the team to learn of his background. Yet, somehow, he had been a rock for Reid over the last few months.
JJ seriously hated herself if she thought too long about the 'support' she had given him. When he was at his worst, she visited him maybe twice a week if he was lucky. She couldn't cope with seeing her normally sharp best friend reduced to a shivering, nervous wreck on a daily basis.
It was only once he was capable of leaving the house without falling to pieces that she started arranging coffee dates and trying to get things back to normal as much as possible. It was anything but 'normal'. He hadn't been to her house since before Jason, which in itself was unheard of. Reid would pop by most weekends if they weren't working, just to say hello or show Henry some more magic tricks. But since Jason, she'd not invited him once and he hadn't attempted an unscheduled visit. If she was honest with herself, she was scared of what Henry might be exposed to if Reid were to have an 'episode' around him.
She thought about how things would have been if Deputy Lomax had progressed the way he intended. If she hadn't been able to escape what had been the inevitable for the other women. Would Reid have been nervous of her? Would he have put his own feelings of guilt and fear above supporting her? She knew he wouldn't. He would have been by her side every day, making sure she knew how much it wasn't her fault and how much she was loved.
She put her head in her hands and tears started running down her face.
"JJ!" Morgan was suddenly opposite her, having spotted her breakdown on the way to the kitchen area at the back of the aircraft. "Are you okay?"
His kind and concerned eyes rested on her and he extended his hand out to her across the table, palm facing up.
She just shook her head, more tears coming forth. Of all the people to spot her, it had to be the one person who really had done everything in their power to help him.
He grabbed her wrist gently in a comforting gesture.
"JJ, nothing he did was your fault. You know that, don't you?"
"No." She sniffed. "It's not that." Morgan looked at her curiously.
"Talk to me. What's goin' on up there?" He said gently.
She looked across the aircraft towards Reid again who was still staring out of the window, completely oblivious to the world around him.
Morgan followed her gaze and looked back towards her.
"Has he upset you? He won't have meant to."
"No, Morgan. Nothing like that." Her tears were starting to subside a little. "I'm just realising what a shit friend I have been recently." She whispered.
Morgan frowned.
"You've not been a shit friend, JJ. Where is this coming from?"
They both spoke in hushed tones to keep the conversation private.
"I have, Morgan. I intentionally dodged coming to see him because I couldn't deal with it. I should have been with him everyday. That's what he would have done had the worst happened to me." This was the first time she admitted it out loud, and it felt like a relief. "I'm his best friend and I abandoned him when he was at his lowest, all because I just wanted him to be the same as he was before."
Morgan looked at her then down to the table and nodded. He could understand that. He had been close to Reid before, but this Reid he was now bonded with was a largely different person. More dependent, more fragile. Had he been as close as JJ was to him at the beginning of this, he wasn't sure he wouldn't have tried to cling onto the old version himself. But he still missed him terribly. It was like grieving a missing person. He was unable to fully commit to the process as he might re-emerge at some point.
"No one knows how to deal with these things, JJ. There is no manual."
"You did."
"No, no I didn't. I've screwed up more times than I dare to count. Sometimes I've just made things worse."
"But still you did it." She stared at him, her gaze unflinching. "You didn't avoid it and pretend it wasn't happening. I mean, I didn't even know that he meant to kill himself. That's the sort of thing he should have been able to tell me. But he couldn't, because I was never there."
Morgan stared at her. He felt the blood draining from his face.
"I'm sorry- what?"
JJ paused , looking at him searchingly, then her eyes opened wide.
"Oh god, you didn't know."
Morgan was wearing a combination of devastation and anger.
"He's trusted me enough to tell me and the first thing I've done is gone and blurted it out to you." She put her head in her hands again, the self-hatred returning ten-fold.
"JJ, back up. Now." He said commandingly. If she didn't know better, she'd have thought it was Hotch talking to her. She stopped her downward spiral and looked at him nervously. He sat forwards, lowering his voice even more. "He wanted to kill himself?"
The question hung in the air for a few moments before JJ nodded.
"After he stabbed Jason, he was going to slit his wrists. But he couldn't get the knife before Jason moved away from him."
Morgan just stared at the table, nodding his head. He seemed shell-shocked.
"Morgan, I'm so sorry. I thought you would have known."
"No. No, he never told me that." His voice was flat. She could see the profound sadness in her friend's face and she knew exactly how he felt.
"I'm sure he just didn't want you to worry."
He nodded. Looking over his shoulder at his friend.
"We never really got him back, did we?" Morgan said sadly. "He took him away and we only managed to find bits and pieces of him."
JJ took a deep breath. That summarised her feelings perfectly. She reached out to grab his hand but he pulled it away and stood.
"It's good to have you back." He squeezed her shoulder and moved to the back of the aircraft to get his drink.
JJ just nodded. Taking one last glance at Reid, she rested her head back and closed her eyes.