I sat very quietly on the window sill. My mind felt all kinds of things. Boyd's death was hard on everyone. Stiles wondered where Derek was. I told him that he was taking a small getaway to let things ring out. He stayed with me that night. I watched as the mark of the Alpha Pack was currently being washed away with the rain
" They were there for two days, waiting. Hiding. That's what we're taught to do when the Hunters find us- hide and heal." Cora's voice was loud as she was close to me. My single red lock out of my hair out of the bun I had it put up in.
" Okay, so, is two days standard, then, or are we thinking Derek's on, like, some extended getaway?" Stiles asked as I looked over at him.
" Why do you care?" Cora asked bluntly.
" Why do I care? Let's see." Stiles said as he was agitated.
" Because over the last few weeks: my best friend's tried to kill himself; his boss nearly got ritually sacrificed; a girl that I've known since I was three was ritually sacrificed; Boyd was killed by Alphas...My girlfriend is being targeted by said pack… I... Do you want me to keep going? 'Cause I can, all right? For, like, an hour." Stiles said as I see Cora go over to the table.
" You think Derek can do anything about that?" Cora asked my boyfriend.
" Well, since he's the one everyone seems to be after, it's more like he should do something about it, yeah. It also doesn't help these psychos are after my girlfriend." Stiles says as he came over and I leaned back on him.
" I don't know... There's something different about him now. He wasn't like this when I knew him." Cora said clear and low.
" What was he like?" Stiles asked my sister. I looked at the staircase that had my Uncle Peter walking down them with an attitude that spoke volumes.
" A lot like Scott, actually. A lot like most teenagers- unbearably romantic, profoundly narcissistic, tolerable really only to other teenagers." Peter says coiled in his own narcissism.
" And so what happened? What changed him?" Stiles asked as I let my eyes glow. Letting my mind slowly flood with memories that I had locked away.
" Well, the same thing that changes a lot of young men...A girl." Peter replied to him. I hummed as I let Stiles' heartbeat sway my thoughts.
" You're telling me some girl broke his little heart? That's why Derek is the way he is?" Stiles asked him.
" Do you remember Derek, before he was an Alpha, had blue eyes? Do you know why some wolves have blue eyes?" Peter asked him as my hearing dulled low and my mind flashed the memories. Her smile and her abilities. Selene.
" Let your mind go blank." Selene said as I sat on a stool. At 15 years old, I was under the teachings of a powerful Alpha. One that lent knowledge to the remaining Hale Siblings. She had taken a shine to me. I concentrated and let my heartbeat calm me down and my thoughts seemed to disappear. A voice telling me to trust my instincts boomed loud in my mind.
" I heard it." I said with a bright smile on my face. Selene smiled as I felt the heat of my eyes glowing hit me. I still had trouble with my wolf as being born as a werewolf was a kind of tricky situation to control my rage.
" You are doing so well Little Wolf." Selene praised me as I smiled back at her. Her Blue and Green eyes shined bright with her pride.
" I have so much to teach you." She says as I grinned and jumped up. Cheering to myself that my wolf connected with me mentally.
" Okay, so if Derek was a sophomore back then, how old was he? How old were you?" Stiles said as his voice brought me back.
" How old are you now?" Stiles asked him.
" Not as young as we could have been, but not as old as you might think…" Peter said with a snide face on him.
" Okay, that was frustratingly vague." Stiles said weirded out. I smiled at this. My uncle is cryptic as fuck.
" How old are you?" Stiles asked Cora as he sat on the window sill with me.
" I'm seventeen." Cora said as Stiles huffed.
" See! That's an answer. That's how we answer people!" Stiles perked pointedly.
" Well, "seventeen" how you'd measure in years." Cora began and Stiles shut it down.
" What happened to Derek and the cello-girl?" Stiles asked my Uncle.
" What do you think happened? They were teenagers- one minute, it's "I hate you, don't talk to me," the next, it's frantic groping in any dark corner they could manage to find themselves alone for five minutes. Their favorite dark corner was an abandoned distillery outside of Beacon Hills." Peter said as I felt another memory draw me out of the current moment.
" What do you know about mates?" I asked Selene as I sat down on the couch. Selene brought over some herbal tea that smelled funny.
" Mates are a rare phenomenon that happens to those who are lucky to find their twin flame. Not many wolves find their mates and let hormones run rampant." She said as I drank the tea.
" Thank god I haven't let myself do that!" I exclaimed as my face got hot. Selene chuckled as I blushed hard and embarrassed.
" Something tells me you will find them at an inopportune time." Selene said as I blushed harder and squealed into a pillow.
" You have a love that you don't share with many. I can see it inside your soul." She said as her eyes glowed their ruby red. I just looked at the moon as Selene poured another cup of tea.
" I hope to find love, yes. I want love to find me and keep me happy." I said as I felt the familiar heat of my eyes glowing gold. Selene smiled brightly as I laughed loudly.
" Our mark for vendetta." Peter's voice pulled me out. I see him drawing a spiral in the condensation to the window. God, that fucking mark!
" Man, you guys really take that revenge thing to, like, a whole new level, don't you? I've heard a lot of things from Raven about it." Stiles said as I leaned further into Stiles' chest for comfort.
" It's not just revenge. Losing a member of your pack isn't like losing family- it's like you lose a limb." Cora bites at my boyfriend's remark.
" They wouldn't even let him see the body." Peter said as my mind pulled me into another memory.
The night sky was bright as Selene and I were on her rooftop. The moon had passed its full phase the night before.
" What happened to your family Little Wolf?" Selene asked as I felt sadness fill me.
" My brother trusted a hunter. She used the information to her advantage. My brother, sister, and I were doing some after-school activities. We got home to see it all ablaze. I wanted to rescue my mother. Laura held me back as I cried and sobbed. Derek told us that his trust in her failed us and he blames himself for our family's death." I said as she came over with some homemade bread and water. I took part in the small snack.
" I see. My family was sadly killed one by one by a group of Hunters called the Calaveras. A fierce hunter family that comes from Mexico. Only I remain of my family. I carry their memories and their teaching. I feel like I can pass them to you." Selene explained as I watched her.
" I'd be happy to learn from you. Anything to one-up my brother so he stops treating me like a kid! " I said as I smiled. Selene's eyes glittered with hope and faith that burned as bright as her Alpha eyes.
" I'm glad! You have the fighting spirit of the Luna Goddess herself." Selene said with a grin.
" I don't get it- what does this have to do with Derek?" Cora's voice made the memory fade as I felt Stiles wrap his arms around me.
" Everything. It's never just a single moment; it's a confluence of events. Personally, I looked at Ennis' circumstances, and I saw a profound loss. Derek saw something different. He saw opportunity." Peter said calmly. I felt he was stalling and spinning a tale that spoke for him.
" Opportunity? To do what?" Stiles asked my Uncle. He looked concerned and awestruck slighted.
" To always be with her." Peter said calmly. To be in control of any situation. My mind pulls me again deep into locked memories.
" To learn control is to learn balance." Selene's voice spoke loudly as a full moon was making it hard to control me as I felt myself forcibly shifting. The shackles on my wrists were tight as I pulled with the chains heavily restraining me. Derek and Laura trusted Selene to teach me a different way of control as their methods didn't work. Laura's way was of our mother's teaching and Derek's was of our Uncle Peter.
" This is torture!" I cried as tears streamed down my face. I was trying to fight the urge to tear her apart. She was close, just sitting in her favorite chair with a metronome at play.
" You have the power to stop the urge to kill. You have to dig deep. Find the peace of mind to calm the waves of pain that your instincts want to inflict." Selene said as she slowed the tempo even more. I shut my eyes as I felt my control fading out. I felt like I was stuck in the fiery blaze in my old home. The pain of their screams was loud as gunfire.
" Make it stop!" I cried out as it mixed with a blood-curdled howl.
" Find what keeps you human, Raven. Find your anchor." Selene's voice boomed in my ears like a cannon. I felt it as if a heavy wind hit me. I see my mother smiling as my father danced with her. Cora's smiling in the corner of the room as she played her volleyball. Derek was playing basketball outside with my uncle Peter as the house began to reconstruct in my head. My family. I see my family alive and well. I see my mother's smiling face as her eyes glow red before she shifts into her black wolf state and howls. The howls of my family comfort me.
" My God." I say as I fell to the ground. The shackle's chains light on the ground as they remained upon my wrists.
" What was it? The reason for you to be calm from all that bloodlust?" Selene asked as I smiled. I was still shifted as I sat down and explained my anchor.
" My family." I said as tears of gratefulness hit me. Selene had taught me to keep my rage at bay for use to keep those I love safe.
" Why are you crying?" I asked as I was myself again. Selene unlocked the shackles as I remained where I was.
" My family may be gone. Like yours. I know that to keep them alive, I keep their memories alive." Selene said as she wiped away the tears. I smiled as I was remembering my mother's heavenly laugh.
" It will hurt for a long time." I said as I finally got up. I was trusting myself.
" But to have those I call friends will make it a little easier. I'm really hoping it does." I said as Selene smiled and gave me a deep hug.
" Memories." I whispered to myself as I came to as I heard Peter talking about Emmisaries.
" They keep us connected to humanity. But, they're a secret, even in the pack- sometimes only the Alpha knows who the Emissary is. Derek, Raven, and I had no idea about Deaton." Cora's voice was calm as she answered Peter's remark.
" Or his sister, Morrell." Peter spoke up. I sat up as Stiles slightly shot up.
" She's an Emissary, too?" He asked him. Wait what the fuck!
" For the Alpha Pack." Peter replied to him. Oh god!
" Our guidance counselor? Why the hell don't you people tell me any of this stuff, huh? I shared some really intimate details with her!" Stiles replied to him.
" And did she give you good advice?" Cora asked my boyfriend. He nodded.
"...Actually, yeah." Stiles replied before I was allowed to lay back on him.
" That's what they do. That's what Deaton used to do for Talia." Peter said as another memory floods my mind.
I watched as Selene was playing with bottles filled with plants.
" What are these?" I asked as Selene smiled and handed me two bottles.
" This one with black dust is Mountain Ash. It keeps supernaturals like us out or contained." Selene said as I shook the bottle.
" This one is Mistletoe." She said as I saw it had a wax seal on it.
" Poisonous?" I asked as I sat it down. She nodded as she pulled more bottles out.
" It's a cure and a poison that has its uses." Selene said as she spent an hour showing me herbs that had uses and poisons.
" How do you know these things? Being a werewolf, we don't get this information." I said confused. Selene just smiled.
" My sister wasn't like me. Mia had an affinity with the herbs and advice of our family. She was our Emissary." Selene said as she played with a jeweled necklace.
" Ennis? Why would he choose him?" Cora's confused voice made me come back to reality.
" Why not? Ennis needed a new member for his pack. Paige was young and strong. Doing a favor for Derek meant Ennis would be in good with Talia- back then, everybody wanted to be in good with her." Peter said with annoyance in his voice. Oh fucking grow up.
" He doesn't remember it was Ennis, does he?" Stiles asked my uncle.
" If he does, he keeps it to himself." Peter replied with a solemn tone.
" So, then what happened? Did he turn her?" Cora asked as I can tell she was invested in the story.
"...Almost. He came at Ennis- a fifteen-year-old boy against a giant. There was no reason for him to fight... She'd already been bitten." Peter said as he was calm and calculated.
" So, did she turn?" Stiles asked him. I already know how the story ends. Almost dying with Derek a few times has made us close.
" She should have. Most of the time, the bite takes. Most of the time…" Peter said as I let my brain go numb.
" When you offered it to me, you said, "If it doesn't kill you..." " Stiles said with curiosity hitting him. When Peter offered it to my boyfriend. I almost wanted to kill him.
" "If." It didn't matter that she was young and strong. Some people just aren't meant for this." Peter said as he leaned on the window.
" But, she fought. She struggled desperately, trying to survive…" Peter said as my mind flitted to the fated memory.
Selene's throat was covered in blood as she had used my claws to end her suffering. The power fused to my soul as I backed away horrified as gunfire was coming close. The rain hits me as I run off.
" I remember taking her body from his arms to the woods... to a place where I knew that it would be found. Another in a long line of Beacon Hills animal attacks." Peter's voice drew me out of my thoughts.
" And what about Derek?" Cora asked our Uncle.
" Taking an innocent life takes something from you as well... A bit of your soul. Darkening it, dimming the once brilliant golden yellow to a cold, steel blue." He replies before letting his eyes glow that vibrant blue.
" Like mine." Peter says before leaving the three of us alone. I was looking at the moon wondering if Selene made the right choice on having me take her Alpha Spark. What did she know? Did she make the right call? Stiles was looking confused when I looked back.
" What? What's this-what's this look on your face?" Cora asked my boyfriend. It drew him out of thought.
" What look?" Stiles asked her. Cora was getting frustrated.
" The kind of look that makes me want to punch you." Cora said with a slight growl.
" Oh, my God- you are so Derek's sister, I forgot. I just don't believe him." Stiles told her. I perked an eyebrow at him.
" All right, in Miss Blake's class, we're reading Heart of Darkness, and it's in first-person, right? Narrated by Marlow. The thing is that he's an unreliable narrator. You know the details of it have changed, you know, just because of his perspective." He explains to us.
" Well, then we heard the story from Peter's perspective." Cora said with an obvious tone.
" Right, and I don't think we got the whole story." He replied to her.
" So, what...? Are-are you just gonna ask Derek about the girl he fell in love with and then killed?" Cora asked him bluntly.
" If I have to? Yeah." Stiles said before Cora left to go to her space. I sat up and looked at the moon. Stiles got up and gave me his hand. I grabbed it and followed.
" Where was your mind as your uncle was talking?" Stiles asked as he leads me to my room.
" Remembering Selene and her teachings." I remarked to him.
" I wish I could have met her." Stiles said as I nodded.
" I don't want you to leave." I said as sadness hit me hard. Stiles nodded and pulled me to my bed. We ended up holding each other as I felt my eyes grow heavy. Sleep soon found its way into my body.