Chapter 7: In which Tchnoblade party hardies
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AN: Welcome back readers, how y'all doing? I have wonderful news, I have no more college essays to write, so I should be able to put out chapters faster. I still have essays for high school, so don't expect daily updates, I'm currently reading Dante's Inferno.
So I have noticed something, whenever someone interacts with my story, I get really happy, and I'm assuming other authors are the same, so if there's a fanfic you really like, comment. Unless you're an author yourself, you will have no idea how much joy it gives authors to get comments, votes, reviews, or anything else. Also, thank you FujiCake22 for adding this to reading lists; I just have one question, why did you add this story to your Black Butler reading list? I don't even know who this black butler is, will you please explain it to me?
Discord if you want to come hang out. /eSSP2GtYQS
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After the events of the previous day, Technoblade was at war with himself. Not only had the attempt to end the argument between Techno and Alex failed, a new argument was started over the necessity of killing the manotaur's leader.
Ghostbur noticed that Technoblade was quieter than before, back when Tommy and Philza were around, if Ghostbur remembered correctly, but with no real memories of what happened, he decided to just give Techno Blue.
The morning passed quietly, sitting on the porch in front of the front door, with Techno and Alex barely acknowledging each other, and Ghostbur, not knowing there were two beings in his brother's head, just sat in silence petting his pet sheep named Friend.
"Hey Ghostbur, I'm going to see if someone I offered to train still wants to be trained, I'll be back later." Technoblade said as he started for the edge of the clearing he had built a fence around.
"Good-bye Techno! Take some Blue for your trip." said Ghostbur as he waved goodbye to Technoblade. Technoblade turned around and took some Blue, then continued on his way.
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Technoblade arrived at the Mystery Shack just before noon, watching the tourists for a while before splashing a potion of invisibility on himself and climbing up onto the roof. While on the roof, Technoblade saw one of the teens from the Dusk 2 Dawn sitting on a flat part of the roof with a Pitt Cola, looking over the parking lot. Technoblade ignored her and snuck into the shack through the window in the twin's room. The Pines Twin's room was actually the attic with two beds set up, and shelves full of nick-knacks lining the far wall.
Technoblade didn't see Dipper in the attic, so Technoblade walked towards the door. Technoblade listened intently at the door, straining his ears for any sound of someone watching the door and would notice it opening by itself. When Technoblade felt confident that no one was outside, he opened the door to find…
A closet. Technoblade sighed as he closed the door, do busy with chat making fun of him to realize the closet was occupied by an invisible wizard.
"Chat, how was I supposed to know it was a closet and not the door to the rest of the house?"
Average_techno_fan: Imagine taking that long to clear a door and it was just the closet, L
Def_not_a_stoner: Average_techno_fan, couldn't be me.
Istanheysoos: Heh heh, and I just said it would be funny if that was a closet and you had to come back out and go through the real door. Wait, does this mean I can see the future? Let me check.
Bananamilkshake: Istanheysoos, can you see the future?
"Wait, one of you claims to see the future?"
Istanheysoos: Nope, can't see the future
Technofan12321: sadge
Carpediem: Imagine not knowing the future, L
Technoblade let the voices continue being weird for a while before he cleared and went through the actual door. On the other side of the door was the other half of the attic, and stairs leading downwards. Before continuing to look for Dipper, Technoblade reapplied his potion of invisibility as it had worn off.
Technoblade checked the house room by room until he finally found Dipper eating lunch in the kitchen with Mabel. Technoblade didn't want to interrupt them, so he pulled out a piece of paper from his inventory and a pen from the counter and wrote a few notes.
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Dipper was eating lunch with his twin sister Mabel when he saw a piece of paper on the floor that had not been there previously. The note said, 'come out to woods, alone. By yourself. Don't bring anyone else. PS: I'm watching you'
"What do you have there, kid? You and Soos passing notes?" asked Grunkle Stan as he walked in from scammi- I mean, freeing cash from the tyrannical wallets of dumb tourists and grabbed a Pitt-Cola from the fridge.
"W-What, No! It's just a scrap of paper I found on the floor." protested Dipper.
"Yeah Grunkle Stan, you should know Dipper only has eyes for- MMPPH!" Mabel started to say before being rudely interrupted by Dipper covering her mouth.
"Well, whatever. Mabel, once you're done with lunch I need Mabelangelo."
"Okay Grunkle Stan!"
Dipper watched as his Grunkle walked out of the room to scam more suckers, then washed his plate and threw away the note.
"See you later bro-bro, I have art to create!" said Mabel as she ran out of the kitchen.
Dipper just sighed at his twin's antics, before leaving to see who wanted him in the woods. Dipper would have grabbed the spear he got from Leaderaur, but his Grunkle claimed it to use as an attraction. Dipper walked past the tree line before looking around and asking, "I wonder who wants to speak to me? I wish they'd give me a sign." sarcastically.
Dipper looked around, and behind him was a sign that had not been there when he walked out. It said, 'Don't look behind you.'
Dipper immediately turned around, and there was another sign, this one saying, 'What did I just say?'
Dipper checked the first sign, but it was now missing. He then checked the second sign, but in the few seconds he was looking away the text had been changed, it now read, 'For failure to listen, you are now going to experience great amounts of pain.'
Dipper began backing towards a tree slowly, with every step seeming to cover no ground. He was really regretting not grabbing the spear, no matter the consequences, as adrenaline began flowing through his veins. Right before his back brushed up against a tree, Dipper heard heavy breathing behind him.
"Hellooooo."
"AGGHH! Oh, it's you Technoblade, I thought you were Gideon or Robbie. Why did you try to scare me?"
"We do a little trolling."
"I don't know what that means, but ok."
"Nah, the real reason I'm here is to give you a workout program. My fa-friend came up with it, it's called AIM TO PASS THE AMERICAN DREAM MK. IV."
"Why did you shout what it's called?"'
"Licensing agreement."
"What?"
"Doesn't matter, this program will train your everything." Technoblade said as he handed Dipper a list detailing the physical workout. "I'll also teach you how to fight, but these exercises will start building your muscle mass."
Dipper looked at the list. It was divided into three sections, with basic physical fitness on Monday/Thursday, Aerobic Exercise on Tuesday/Friday, and general muscle conditioning on Wednesday/Saturday, with Sundays as a rest day. It also specified getting eight hours of sleep every night for maximum recovery. (Based off of an article I found about whether All-Might's work-out plan was good.)
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While Dipper was looking at what his physical training would consist of, Technoblade was dealing with chat.
T, 'Guys, I'm not a weeb, Philza gave me the work out.'
Technofan12321: Weebza?
Pathoftheswole: Swoleza?
Average_techno_fan: Idk man, you do know Japanese, seems kinda sus to me
Yodasstick: Average_techno_fan red sus?
Yodasstick: Average_techno_fan sussy imposter?
Yall_need_help: I swear to god Yodasstick, stop or else
T, 'Japanese is leftover information from the potato war, chill.'
Istanheysoos: So this Philza dude watches anime?
Bananamilkshake: Istanheysoos he definitely does, I remember it being used for a plot contrivance in a fanfic, and fanfic authors would never make something up for something to happen in the story.
ChadwickChadeusChaddington: Bananamilkshake Indubitably, my good sir.
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Dipper finished reading through the workout plan, and turned to Technoblade for examples. While illustrations were provided in the guide, seeing how an actual body moves when doing the workout is often much more helpful for learning a new exercise.
Training montage music: Pumping Iron Power by Grail Knights.
Most of the afternoon was spent with Dipper watching Technoblade demonstrate the different workouts, and then Dipper did some introductory general workouts, but didn't do any specific sets, as it was Sunday. (Based off my own calculations and an old 2012 calendar I found on the internet.)
"Thank you so much, Technoblade." Dipper said as he sat, sweating from the heat and workout.
"No problem, kid. I'm going to start teaching you how to fight both armed and unarmed."
"Hey Technoblade, we're having a party tonight, do you want to come?"
"Nah, I don't want people finding out where I am."
"Can I get you a soda at least?"
"sure." With that, Technoblade and Dipper did some basic training and then headed inside the Mystery Shack. Technoblade was so busy training Dipper, he didn't notice chat freak out.
Average_techno_fan: Technodad.
Yodasstick: Average_techno_fan, no Technodad is Techno's dad
Pathoftheswole: Techno-sensei?
Technofan12321: Pathoftheswole ooh, yes
Istanheysoos: Pathoftheswole that's just like those animes I was watching.
Average_techno_fan: counter name, Dadnoblade.
Def_not_a_stoner: Average_techno_fan that's better, I like it
Technofan12321: Average_techno_fan I prefer Techno-sensei.
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As Technoblade and Dipper the kitchen to get Technoblade a cooled Pitt Cola, Stan called from somewhere inside the shack. "Dipper, come help Mabel with the setup!"
Dipper handed Technoblade a Pitt Cola from the fridge and shouted back, "Coming Grunkle Stan!" and waved goodbye to Technoblade, then Dipper went to go find Stan.
Technoblade stood outside the door debating.
A, 'We should follow him.'
T, 'Why?'
A, 'We don't have much going on, and do you really want to walk back while chat is arguing about whether to call us Techno-sensei, Technodad, or Dadnoblade?'
T, 'Fair enough, but I'm taking another soda.'
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Dipper found his Grunkle Stan, twin sister Mabel, resident cool dude Soos, and totally-not crush Wendy in an expansive room. Mabel was sitting on a couch by the entrance, Wendy was blowing up balloons, Stan was filling soda, and Soos was putting up decorations, including putting party hats on the mounted big game heads.
"Heya kid, we're throwing a party tonight," said Stan, "also, party supplies are now off-limits, I'm going to be coughing up sparkles for weeks."
"This batch of Mabel Juice™ seems to have mixed reactions, I'll have to change the caffeine to sparkle ratio."
"Yeah, anyways, I need you and Mabel to make copies of this flyer." Stan said, passing Dipper a flyer.
"Oh boy, a trip to the copier store!" Mabel shouted jumping up off the couch.
Soos shouted from the other side of the room, where he was tying up those colorful triangles on a string, "Calendars, mugs, t-shirts, and more! They got it all at the copier store!" He continued, somewhat abashedly, "That's not their slogan, I just really feel that way about the copier store."
"Save the trouble. You know that old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!" Stan said, walking between Soos and Dipper.
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Dipper and Mabel (and Technoblade, but the Pines Twins don't know he's there) walked into their Grunkle's office. The copier machine they were here for was hidden beneath a dusty sheet, and when Dipper pulled it off, a moth flew off the machine.
"Butterflies!" Mabel gasped.
The copier machine appeared to be held together by duct tape and Popsicle sticks, covered in cobwebs and none of the panels were on straight.
"Does this even work?" Dipper asked, lifting the lid and pushing buttons until it turned on. Dipper rested his arm on the scanner, and a sheet of paper with his arm on it printed.
"Great success!" Mabel said. The piece of paper began to shake, and Mabel dropped it in surprise. When the paper hit the floor, it curled up before becoming a 3d replica of Dippers arm, and began to pull itself towards the twins with its fingers grasping at the gaps in the floorboards. Dipper and Mabel scream as the arm claws its way closer, before dipper throws a cup of soda at it, causing the arm to dissolve.
"Oh my gosh! Mabel, I think this copier can copy human beings!" Dipper exclaimed.
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After the Pines Twins finished printing flyers, they went back to the party room, leaving Technoblade alone with the copier.
A, 'I wonder what would happen if we were copied. Would it be an exact copy, meaning there would be two of you and two of me?'
T, 'I think so, but imagine all the potatoes I could farm with a clone.'
A, 'Let's test it.'
T, 'Sure.'
Technoblade climbed on top of the copier, cringing slightly at the creaking from the machine, and pushed the copy button. A green see-through scanner started at Technoblade's feet, and slowly went over the rest of his body. The light made it up the legs, over the chest, and up to the neck without problems, but when it reached Technoblade's head, he felt a massive amount of pain, pain equal to fighting Dream.
"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGHH!"
The copier finished its scanning, and Techno recovered from the head pain enough to talk.
T, 'OW.'
Techno waited for a reply from his mortal aspect, waiting for the headache to wear off.
T, 'Alex? You there?"
With no response, Techno looked deep within himself, and noticed something disturbing. He could no longer feel Alex's soul. Suddenly, the copier sprang to life, printing a copy of what should have been Technoblade, but as he watched it, he noticed it was changing. The copy had started as an exact replica of Technoblade's body, but was now a pink haired pointy eared human wearing a boar's skull on his head, before changing even more, losing the skull and pointy ears, then finally losing the pink hair. The print began shaking before forming into a 3d body, standing upright and looking at Techno.
"Heh?" the living print said, "Techno? Is that you? Did I get control of the new body?"
"Heh? Why aren't you an exact copy?"
Alex shook his head in confusion, "I don't know, unless! That copier can only copy humans, and you don't count." Alex lifted up his hands, looking at them while turning them around. "It's nice to be in my own body again, and my body hasn't been weakened by cancer."
"We should figure out a way to fix this."
"What do you mean fix this? I can talk to Ghostbur now, without having to be careful about what I say. I can control my movement without having to check with you. Heck, you could even say I'm my own master now."
"I'm worried you won't be able to protect yourself, plus two Techno in one Techno is more Techno per Techno, which is good."
"I can protect myself, thank you very much!" shouted Alex as he took a splash pot of invisibility, threw it at his feet, and stormed out.
"Alex I didn't mean it like… and he's gone. Ugh, I need to go find him." said Techno as he also invis potted.
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Alex ran through the woods, dodging branches and jumping roots, laughing joyfully as he hadn't been able to run since his cancer went bad. Alex wasn't running from himself, but he just needed some air, some time to think. Sure, he might not be as strong as Techno, but Alex was still strong mentally, and could work out to put on muscle mass.
He kept running, faster and faster, ignoring the soreness of his body as he reached speeds not seen since hypixel skyblock, which brought back memories of farming the bat island for a speed talisman. Alex ran over creeks and between trees, not comprehending an unnatural pain in his arm.
Alex was so lost in the joy of running, he didn't realize he was lost in general location until he stopped, panting and out of breath, in a strange valley leading underneath a massive tree, with unnaturally large and small things. However, Alex couldn't spend much time pondering what could have caused this, as he saw a massive monster, and worse it saw him and was now chasing him. Alex took off like a rocket away from what looked like a cross between a gremlin and a goblin, with no idea where home was.
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Techno was chasing his mortal aspect, however it was not going well. Not only was Alex moving fast, based off the distance between footprints according to the voices, but he had also gotten a minor head start, and was going through areas that were hard to track through.
Average_techno_fan: Go left
Technofan12321: Right
Comradecommander: P90 rush B do not stop
Def_not_a_stoner: A is clearly the superior plant site
Comradecommander: Def_not_a_stoner k certu tebya the chertovsky suka!
Carpediem: It wouldn't be defusal, it'd be hostage rescue
Techno sighed at chat as he ran, but noticed a quiet murmur that seemed to be getting louder.
(murmur, murmur murmur)
Yallneedhelp: What's that noise?
Bananamilkshake: idk
Carpediem: Bananamilkshake insightful, friend
Def_not_a_stoner: I didn't hear anything
Yodasstick: Yallneedhelp are you hearing things?
(murmur, murmur, murmur murmur, murmur, murmur murmur murmur, mumble murmur mumble)
Yallneedhelp: There it is again!
Yodasstick: Now I heard it, what could it be though?
Carpediem: Nerds?
Bananamilkshake: Carpediem probably.
As if a great dam had been breached, hundreds of new voices broke into Techno's mind, screaming about all matter of things.
(E, E, E, L, L, Kill, Blood! Blood for the blood god, Kill, Murder, Death and destruction, Chaos, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, terminate orphans, kill, Skulls for the skull throne! WAAAAAAGGGGHHH!)
Techno fell to the ground clutching his head as millions of voices yelled in his head.
Yesyes1209: Oh no, they found us
(Kill, Pillage, Leave none alive, End the government, kill, kill, kill)
Yesyes1209: Techno, are you okay?
Techno slowly got up, but he didn't respond. He stood there, unmoving, for thirty seconds, not reacting to anything going on around him. The voices called out to Techno to try and wake him from whatever madness had overtaken him, but it was no use. Finally, Techno ran off, but rather than running like a Piglin, he ran like a beast and was seeking blood.
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Alex ran in fear from the Gremloblin, barely keeping an equal distance between them as Alex's lungs begged for a break. However, Alex couldn't take a breather, as the Gremloblin wasn't yet tired, and seemed excellent at tracking. To make matters worse, Alex was experiencing internal pain from no apparent source, which was slowing him down.
Alex climbed a tree to try and lose the beast, and started laughing when the gremloblin tried to follow him up the tree but was too heavy for the branches. The gremloblin glared at its prey, and pulled the tree out by its roots before swinging the tree like a giant bat, sending Alex flying into a stream. Alex shot to his feet, soaking wet and bleeding, and took off running again.
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Techno was finding it hard to think. (Kill, Death, blood, blood, E, E, E, E, blood, skulls, death, E, E) He needed to find… (Blood, Skulls, Death, Blood, Blood, Blood, E, E) no, he needed to find Alex. (Friend? Enemy, Traitor, Blood, Kill, Death, Blood, Kill Traitors) Alex wasn't a traitor he was… (Doesn't matter kill, Blood, is traitor, Kill, Blood, E, E, E, E, Murder) he was an ally. (No allies, Phil is only ally, Kill, Blood, Exterminate false allies)
Techno was following Alex's (Traitor, Kill, Die, Blood, Blood) trail, hopefully he would be able to help Techno. (Traitor, Won't help, Blood, Blood, Kill). Techno crossed a stream before noticing drops of crimson on the ground. (Blood, Blood, E, E, L, Blood) Techno followed the trail of blood, barely understanding what was going on with the voices. (Kill, E, E, E, Blood for the blood god, E, L, Kill, Orphans, Potatoes, Blood, Kill, E, E, E)
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The gremloblin was gaining on Alex, despite his best attempts. Alex was now completely out of breath, losing blood, and great internal pain. Alex kept running, barreling through branches and slipping through gaps in rocks, but the gremloblin was still drawing closer. Alex was crawling through another gap in the rocks when his foot got stuck in a tree root. The gremlbolin peered in at Alex through a crack in the rock, before breaking off the rock keeping Alex safe and roaring, hurling the rock into the forest. As the gremloblin prepared to grab and eat Alex, it heard something and turned around.
The gremloblin saw a creature it had never seen before, something that was roughly the size of a man, but with a boar's face and hunched over, and had a sword in one hand and an ax in the other. Not only that, the gremloblin could feel the bloodlust coming from the monster, and it was more than any other creature the gremloblin had ever felt before.
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Techno watched as some beast ran away from Techno's (Prey, Traitor, Target, Blood, Kill, Blood) friend. (Not friend, traitor, Kill, Blood, Blood) Techno stalked over to Alex (Prey, Kill, Kill, Traitor, Blood for the blood god), and looked at him. Alex was bleeding from his head, sides, and legs, clearly exhausted, and in pain.
"Techno, thank goodness you're here. Help me up."
Techno just stood there, looking at his mortal aspect.
"Techno?"
Techno's mouth opened, but his voice did not come out, instead it was hundreds of thousands of millions of voices all shouting, "TRAITOR, KILL, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, KILL, E, E, E, E, E, DEATH, ORPHAN DETECTED, KILL, MURDER, E, E, E, POG, DEATH, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE, DEATH, KILL, MURDER, ANARCHY, POTATOES, E, E, E, RAINBOW CHAT, BLOOD, KILL!"
"Techno, snap out of it! Don't let those voices have control!"
"BLOOD, DON'T LISTEN, ANARCHY, IGNORE, BLOOD, E, E, E, E, F, E, BLOOD, DEATH, SKULLS, BLOOD, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, IT'S MY FIRST TIME CATHCING YOU LIVE WHATS UP, KILL, mUrDeR, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, E, E, E, E, MORE DEATH, RAINBOW CHAT, POG"
"Come back Techno, Ghostbur needs you."
"TRAITOR, FAMILY, DEATH, KILL, BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD"
"Techno, I need you to break free!"
Hmyes: Alex! Finally, I'm close enough for you to hear me.
"Hmyes? What's going on?
Hmyes: Without you inside of Techno's mind, all the voices that are yours are driving Techno mad.
"How do we fix it?"
Hmyes: We need to get you back into his mind, but I don't know of a way
"Would it work if there was only one Techno in this reality?"
Hmyes: yes but why would you ask… no
"It's the only way. I need to go to another dimension."
Hmyes: You will end up in a dimension much more painful than your original. Don't do it, we can find a way.
"Not before Techno does something he'll regret! Send me to this other dimension."
Hmyes: Fine
"Tell Techno what happened!"
Hmyes: I will!
With this final message sent, Alex ceased to be in this reality, and became Techno in a different reality. But that is a story for a different time.
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Techno woke up, confused. The last thing he remembered was voices, so many voices, all demanding bloodshed and violence and the letter E, but now all was quiet.
Technofan12321: Techno! You're back!
Average_techno_fan: Techno back POG
"What happened Chat? Wait, where's Alex?
Hmyes: He's gone. I didn't know of any way to get him back in your head. He went to another reality, one much worse than this, he's going to go through much hardship.
"Bruh. Why did you let him?"
Hmyes: He didn't want you to do something you'll regret.
Def_not_a_stoner: o7 in chat lads
Yesyes1209: o7
Arknaz: o7
Technofan12321: o7
OWCAOfficial: o7
Carpediem: o7
ChadwickChadeusChaddington: in pace legenda
Bananamilkshake: o7
Pathoftheswole: o7
Comradecommander: o7
Istanheysoos: o7
Yallneedhelp: o7
Average_techno_fan: o7
Yodasstick: o7
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After returning to camp, Techno built a monument in honor of Alex. It was surrounded by potatoes, with a plaque reading: In Memory of a man I know well, and yet did not know enough about.
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Finished 3/1/2023, words: 3,989 Written using a pirated copy of Microsoft word 2007
AN 2: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my Great-Grandfather, he passed away while I was writing this, and hit me and my family hard. I was told the day before he died that he had at best five weeks left, and my mom told me to start writing a letter to him about all the colleges I had been accepted by and how much scholarship money I was getting so he could brag about me to his friends in the nursing home, and the very next morning he passed. I'm never going to be able to send that letter, and I regret not finishing it. It wouldn't have changed anything, but I still regret it.
I guess what I'm saying is: tell the people you love that you love them, you have no idea how long they'll be around.