Chapter 13: in which the search for the crowfather begins
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AN: Yo, Sabaton started a 24/7 rock livestream, lets go!
Danken for the follows and favorites, it makes me happy to know you enjoy this sleep-deprivation fueled mess.
Guess who's got two thumbs and getting Gravity Falls the complete series [collectors edition]? This guy!
I've got a discord for this story, and I might start dropping notes/ ideas from my ideas document, (which currently has 1,400+ words) and will contain hints/spoilers for the next chapter.
/eSSP2GtYQS
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Dipper Pines looked at the journal, double checking his information. 'It says that the Author ran into Plaidapusses? Plaidapi? Plaidapus's? whatever the plural is, the Author found Plaidapus while heading to something called Crash Site Omega, which according to the maps, should be this way.'
Dipper continued to hike, hoping to find a supernatural entity by noon. He was out in the woods hunting the supernatural for an exibit because Stan was no longer with them. Stan and Mabel made a bet, Stan would go on vacation for three days while Mabel would run the shack, and whoever made the most money would win.
If Stan won, Mabel would need to wear a shirt that said loser for the rest of the summer, while if Mabel won, Stan would have to sing an apology song written by Mabel. Mabel, upon taking charge, of the shack, used Wendy's, Soos's, and Dipper's suggestions to make the shack better. Dipper's suggestion was to find a real attraction instead of the fakes Stan had around the shack.
There were very few cryptids in Dipper's journal that were both amicable and serious enough that people would realize they were real. The gnomes were out of the question, Kill Billies were too dangerous and not obviously paranormal, and the stomach-faced duck was just unsettling. He probably could have gotten a Manotaur if he said it was a modeling gig to show off their manliness, but since the last time he had spoken to the Manotaurs he had to run away shortly after (Dipper had seen various Manotaurs around the cliffs, seemingly looking for something, but he didn't know what.).
So, Dipper was searching for the legendary Plaidapus. It wasn't like he knew any cryptids who were obviously paranormal and chill, like, I don't know, maybe a Pigman or something.
Dipper sighed as he realized he had wasted several hours looking for the paranormal when he knew exactly where a friendly creature lived. Dipper put journal three back inside his puffy vest and started walking towards Techno's place.
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Techno sat on his porch, as still as a statue, with a loaf of bread in his hands. Techno had been sitting there since dawn, hoping to draw in some of Phil's crows. So far, no crows or ravens had shown up, and Techno used the time to meditate, pondering the mysteries of the universe. The Voice's were quiet, with a good number having fallen asleep and someone had managed to tap into the Gravity Falls Public Access TV so the rest of chat were watching Help! My Mummy's a Werewolf! 2: This Again.
Finally, a crow got curious and brave enough to approach Techno, slowly walking towards him. When the crow was close enough Techno slowly ripped a piece of the loaf and threw it on the ground in front of the crow. Techno repeated this, edging the bird closer and closer, until the crow drew near enough that Techno leaned forward and began to speak in bird.
"Craw."
"CraCaw caw?"
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8-1-12-12-15.
25-15 23-8-1-20-19 21-16?
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Before anything more than greetings could be exchanged, Ghostbur came flying through the wall, startling the crow. The crow took off and headed away from the compound, squawking in terror the whole way.
"Hello friend! I seem to have gone through the walls again." Ghostbur said.
Techno sighed. "Hey Ghostbur, how ya doin'?"
"Good! I spent the morning cuddling Friend!"
"That's good." Techno said with a ghost of a smile. "Welp, my first plan has been delayed, I'm going to go look for Phil on foot."
"Okay Techno, have fun! Bring him back!"
"I'll do what I can."
Sensing adventure and excitement, chat rose from its slumber to mess with Techno.
Arknaz: That was a good nap
Donde_está_la_biblioteca: Si, it was a fine siesta.
Yallneedhelp: I still say we should have watched The Duchess Approves on the Black and White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel. The first three hours are a little slow, but it gets good past the five hour mark. Also, Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble did an excellent job portraying the irascible coxswain Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire.
Pathoftheswole: That sounds incredibly boring
ChadwickChadeusChaddington: I remember those events, there was controversy, especially after the cotillion.
OWCAOfficial: that was a grade-A B-grade movie.
Laughteryoga: It was a fun movie.
Bananamilkshake: I had a good nap, how ya'll doing?
Carpediem: Bananamilkshake hey bro
Bananamilkshake: Carpediem wassup
Istanheysoos: I was really hoping to see Fixin' it with Soos, it's a good show
Average_techno_fan: yo is that a child approaching?
Def_not_a_stoner: Tommy 2 detected.
"We are not calling him Tommy 2. I refuse."
Technofan12321:Tsundere-blade?
"No, stop that."
Average_techno_fan: Tsundere-blade
Pathoftheswole: bro just admit you care about Tommy 2
"He is not Tommy 2."
Technofan12321: I didn't hear anything about not caring about Tommy 2
Before the argument continue any further, a knock echoed through the compound.
"Techno!? Are you there!?"
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Dipper walked towards Techno's house, waiting for Techno to appear from somewhere at random and scare Dipper. Dipper stopped repeatedly when he thought he heard something, but it was nothing more than the wind and wild animals.
Finally, Dipper made his way to the walls. While Dipper had never actually visited Techno's house, Techno had described it to him. The house was in a small clearing that Techno had expanded, with a stream that ran through the center and split into two, creating somewhat of an artificial island. Techno had used the trees he cleared to create a palisade around the compound, with a gate on the island.
There were two sides of the creek, the north side was mostly potato fields with the exception of the path. Meanwhile, the south held the mine, the house, the barn, and the nether portal. Outside the gate, the area was filled with trees and some rocks from the landslide that created the clearing originally. Techno was in the process of using the mined stone to start expanding and upgrading his walls. (See example on Wattpad.)
Dipper walked up to the gate and knocked. "Techno!? Are you there!?"
"Halloooo." Techno opened the gate. "what'cha doin out here, kid?"
"Mabel and my Grunkle made a bet about whether please could make you money, so I'm looking for real, living attractions instead of the fake ones my Grunkle already has. Do you wanna scare some tourists?"
"As fun as that would be, I'm busy looking for my Fa… friend, who I think wrote those books you lent me. Speaking of which, you can have these back." Techno said, handing Dipper volumes 1 and 2 of the great potato war.
"Oh cool, your friend is an author! I hope you find your friend."
"Thanks."
"Techno! Where did you go friend!?" Ghostbur yelled.
"I'm over here!" Techno shouted back.
"Who's that? I didn't know you lived with anyone Techno." asked Dipper.
"That's one of my friends, he's named Ghostbur."
"Wait, Ghostbur?!" Dipper exclaimed. "I know Ghostbur, he helped me and Mabel escape some cranky old ghosts at the Dusk 2 Dawn."
"Hello Techno!" Ghostbur shouted as he phased through the wall. "And hello friend!"
"Hi Ghostbur, how are you doing." greeted Dipper.
"I am doing good, I found Friend!"
"Cool… hey, wait a minute. Ghostbur, are you busy for the next few days?"
"No."
"Would you like a job?"
"What kind of job?"
"You just have to let random people gawk at you for hours."
"Sure!"
"No." Techno interrupted. "You are not taking this job, Ghostbur."
"But… why not, Techno!?" Dipper asked, jumping up and down.
"I am not letting my brother be gawked at by hicks and tourists! I won't let him go through what I did, he will not be watched by thousands for their entertainment!" Techno shouted, before recentering himself. "I…" breathed Techno. "I think you should leave."
"O-okay."
Dipper turned and left, walking into the woods.
"Techno, why did you explode like that? I don't remember you ever being that emotional."
"I… it reminded me of the early days, right after I got kidnapped from the Nether."
"Oh. I… I think you should probably apologize."
"Yeah, I will. In a few days. I'm going to look for Phil."
"Okay, have Fun!"
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Dipper was setting up a trap to catch some paranormal thing-um while thinking about what Techno had said. 'Clearly, Techno has a trauma about having people gawk at him. I wonder if he was in a circus or a freak show in his youth. Then there's the fact that Techno said he was Ghostbur's brother, which suggests they were knew each other when Ghostbur was still… I don't know, whatever his name was originally… idk, Alivebur? Anyways, does that mean Piglins age slower? They must not be biological brothers, because Ghostbur looks more like a human, well, a dead human, and Techno is a pig man.'
'If there is an aging difference, then that means Techno could have been born a few hundred years ago, putting him at the height of Victorian freak shows. I wish I had known, then I wouldn't have asked, since it clearly has brought up some trauma. No matter what, Techno is the older, protective brother.'
Dipper was so busy pondering his new information he didn't even realize something had fallen into his trap.
'A Gremloblin! Holy moley!'
Dipper cautiously approached the giant beast with a massive sack and slowly lowered the sack over the monsters head, causing it to immediately fall asleep.
'Huh, I guess Soos and the Gremloblins have something in common.'
Dipper tied one end of a rope around the sack and tied the other end to the golf cart he had pulled into the woods earlier. Dipper drove the golf cart back to the shack, with the Gremloblin bouncing on the ground behind it.
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"Mabel! I captured something! This is going to blow those tourists away! Ha ha!" Dipper cheered. The Gremloblin woke up and tried to bite Dipper's arm, but was stopped by the sack. Dipper punches it a few times, and it lets go.
"Marvelous work, valued employee!" Mabel congratulated. Dipper went inside to put the Gremloblin inside the house, and Mabel saw somebody behind the outhouse. "Who's that? Is it Questiony the Question Mark?"
Soos, who was wearing the Questiony the Question Mark costume, a foam question mark, peered out from behind the outhouse. "Uh, I'm starting to have second thoughts about this, Mabel. I keep forgetting my lines. And this costume is more… um… revealing than I was expecting." The question mark's dot barely covered Soos's crotch and the hook curved around his belly. The only thing Soos had on beneath it was his underwear.
"Soos, don't give up! Anything is possible when you…" says Mabel while flipping through her modern, up-to-date management book from 1983. "Imaganize it!"
"But I don't know what that means."
"Shh." Mabel hushed before putting her finger on Soos's lips. "Shhhshhhshhhshhh. Believe in yourself…" she continued as she backed away.
"Bu-but I…! So-so cold…"
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Back in the shack, Mabel went to check up on Wendy. "How's my favorite Wendy?!" Mabel said as she walked through the employee's only door into the gift shop. Suddenly, an empty soda can landed in front of her. "Wha?" As Mabel looked up, she saw Wendy and the gang trashing the gift shop.
"Yeah! Keep it goin'!" Wendy cheered .
One of the customer's kids was looking at a box. "Oh, what's this?" when he got hit in the head with a hacky sack (where'd it come from? Hm ha, hm hm hm ha, hm hm ha, hm hm hm ha.), or more accurately, a shrunken head being used as a hacky sack by Wendy's friends. The child began to cry.
The kid's mom ran over and grabbed the kids cheeks. "Billy! Your face! It's ruined!"
"I'm so sorry. Please, have a refund." Mabel said, handing the woman some cash. The mother grabbed more cash from Mabel's jar-o-money, and stormed out. Mabel turned to Wendy, "Wendy, you got a lot of cleaning up to do. Pleeeaaase?"
"Whoa, all this rule stuff's starting to make you sound like Stan~." Wendy said.
"What!? No! I'm nothing like Stan!" Mabel said in a panic. "In fact, take the… rest of the day off?"
"With full pay?"
"Of course, ha ha." Mabel said nervously.
"Cool." Wendy said while walking out the door and shooting Mabel a thumbs up.
"Mabel Pines, you are the best boss ever." Mabel says, congratulating herself. In the background, Soos, in his Questiony the Question Mark costume, popped out of a clothing rack to talk to a woman.
"I'M QUESTIONY THE QUESTION MARK!" The woman Soos was shouting at screamed and started spraying him with pepper spray. "Aw dude, it stings so bad!"
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In a dark part of the shack, a tourist couple was alone, picking through the deepest part of the shack. Out from the shadows, near a cage with a sack over it, a voice called out. "Ladies and Gentlemen! My name's Honest Dipper, and unlike my cheating uncle, I have something to show you that isn't a hoax! It almost killed me getting him into that cage, behold! Part Gremlin, part Goblin, the Gremloblin!" Dipper presented his monster to the tourists, pulling the sack off the cage.
The Gremloblin, irate from awakening outside of its den, began roaring and clawing at the bars of the cage. As he continued to try to destroy the bars, he spat out a humans right arm. Dipper stood proudly off to the side, patting Journal 3.
"Well, that's fun." The man said.
"It's fake, honey. You can see the strings." His wife responded.
"What?! Those aren't strings, that's body hair!" Dipper interrupted.
"Oh, look at this, dear. The six-packalope." The woman continued, ignoring Dipper.
Her husband laughed and took a picture. "Wordplay!"
"No, everything else here is fake." Dipper said as he pulled the couple back towards the Gremloblin. "This is a real paranormal beast. Hey, fun fact about this little guy, if you look into his eyes, you can see your worst nightmare."
The couple looked up, and peered into the Gremloblin's eyes. The Gremloblin stared back, his previously red eyes turning yellow. The couples' eyes also changed to yellow, the color of fear and nightmares (I mean, what color is Bill Cipher?).
"Amazing, right? I work for tips."
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"Thanks again for visiting!" Dipper shouted at the retreating ambulance that had to be called in to rescue the couple. Dipper sighed, so far nobody had believed his monster was real, and the only people that had believed him were en-route to the emergency room.
Inside the shack, Mabel ran back and forth, stocking, cleaning, and running the check-out all by herself (btw, in most places the register is called the P.O.S. I laughed my ass off when I first learned this, because I am highly mature.). Mabel just finished taking the payment of ten people when Dipper stumbled in through the front door.
"Well, I just made two people go insane. How about you?" Dipper asked.
"I'm so tired. I gave Wendy the day off so I had to do her job."
"Well, maybe you need to start being a little tougher around here."
"No way, that's what Stan would do! I just need to think positive, be friendly, and everything will work out fine."
All of a sudden, the Gremloblin burst through the wall and roared. The tourists still inside the shack screamed and ran away.
"What?! How did he get out of his locked cage?!" Dipper asked incredulously.
Mabel looks around guiltily. "Well… I may have left him a key for his break…"
"YOU GAVE HIM A BREAK!?"
"He's an employee!... sort of."
"We've got to round him up. Where's Soos?"
"He was stressed out, so I told him to take a soothing nature walk.
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Deep in the dark part of the woods, Soos, still wearing his Questiony the Question Mark costume, was walking. The trees seemed to grow, towering over Soos. "Hello? Civilization?" Soos asked. Thunder crashed, lightning flashed, and wolves howled. "Doggy?"
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Back at the shack, the TV had turned on to the cash wheel channel. The announcer announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, Stan Pines is poised to become our grand champion! Anything to say to your fans out there?"
"See you tomorrow night, Mabel! Ha ha ha!" Stan taunted.
"Oh no, Stan can't win." Mabel moaned. "I can't wear a loser shirt all summer, Pacifica would never let me hear the end of it."
"Run!" Dipper shouted as he and Mabel slipped past the Gremloblin and into the back room. The Gremloblin ignored them and started rooting through Mabel's stickers.
"What do we do? He's awarding himself stickers that he didn't even earn!"
Dipper opened journal 3, "Uh, got it! When fighting a Gremloblin, use water…" Mabel ran out with a glass of water and splashed the Gremloblin. Dipper turns to the next page in the journal, "Only as a last resort, as the water will make him much scarier! AH! Who writes sentences like that?!"
The Gremloblin roared, growing spikes from his spine. One of the cuckoo clocks on the wall went off, and the Gremloblin took offense to this, blasting it with fire.
"Don't worry, He's gotta leave eventually!" Dipper exclaims
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15 Hours later. I'm serious. There is a comedic time cut here.
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"I'm the singin' salmon spendin' all day jammin'." Sang the singin' salmon who has spent all day jammin'. The Gremloblin hit the button on the novelty fish toy again. "I'm the singin' salmon spendin' all day jammin'." The Gremloblin preesed the button again. "I'm the singin' salmon spendin' all day jammin'."
"Uggh, why doesn't he just leave!" Mabel cried out. The Gremloblin had spent several hours destroying random merchandise before finding the singin' salmon.
The Gremloblin scented something on the wind, and began to sniff. Dipper's heart skipped a beat, thinking he and Mabel had been found out, but it seemed like the Gremloblin had just smelled Mabel's cash jar. The Gremloblin reached over and started eating the cash.
"Our profits!" Mabel cried, charging with the battle cry of true capitalists.
"Mabel, wait!"
Mabel reached the Gremloblin and started punching him, shouting, "Stop, stop!" The Gremloblin reached over to Mabel and grabbed her, bringing her up to eye level. Mabel screamed, and Dipper gave her advice.
"Don't look into his evil eye; You'll see your worst nightmare!" Dipper said as he ran towards the Gremloblin.
"I wish we had an evil eye to show him!" Mabel yelled, before accidently looking into the Gremloblin eyes. "Oh no! Ahhhh!"
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Techno put off going to talk to Dipper for a day and a half, looking for Phil. Techno had found many things, from functionally useless natural marble runs to a really, really shiny rock. As a matter of fact, a few thousand crows were dancing around the rock when he left.
Techno had covered a majority of cliffs around Gravity Falls valley, and was slowly circling in. It was slow going, what with the trail being an unknown amount of years old. Several times when Techno thought he had found a trail, it turned out to just be a dead end. There was one promising trail that was relatively fresh, but it ended in some beavers cavorting. Techno still had no idea how beavers, of creatures, could make bird like tracks, but it didn't really matter.
Techno had finally decided to suck it up and apologize to Dipper, and so was making his way to the shack. It seemed like a normal day at the shack, except there weren't any cars in the parking lot or tourists milling about. And there were some holes in the walls. And something big, green, and ugly was sitting in the living room.
Techno sighed, of course the Pines Twins would somehow get one of the more dangerous creatures, at least for humans, inside their house. Chat began calling for violence, and Techno began slinking towards the hole in the wall. The Gremloblin caught Techno's scent for a second, but soon lost it due to Techno pouring an invisibility potion on himself.
Average_techno_fan: Kill tall green and ugly!
Technofan12321: as the old saying goes, murder is pog
Bananamilkshake: Technofan12321 wasn't the saying murder isn't pog
Carpediem: Bananamilkshake nah, you've got dementia
Bananamilkshake: probably
Yodasstick: only small, green, and ugly are allowed
Pathoftheswole: Yodasstick are you implying that yoda isn't the sexiest old monk you know?
Yodasstick: Yeah, I mean, have you seen the greek and roman gods? Or hell, Ganondwarf?
Laughteryoga: are we thirsting after Ganon again?
Yallneedhelp: are you really thirsting after Ganon again?
Techno slowly drew closer to the Gremloblin's back, as he wanted to take care of the monster quickly and not have to chase it down for hours or days. Especially since he wanted to search for Phil and make up with Dipper.
Then, Mabel charged the Gremloblin. Techno sighed a little, but started running the rest of the way. Mabel was told absolutely, definitely, completely, and in no uncertain terms to avoid looking into the Gremloblins eyes, so naturally Mabel looked into his eyes.
Dipper was running towards the Gremloblin when the Gremloblin was suddenly knocked forward.
"What?" Dipper asked when he didn't see anything behind the Gremloblin. "Eh, whatever." Dipper grabbed for a mirror. Mabel had been freed from the Gremloblin's evil eye, and was punching the Gremloblin's hands.
Techno's potion ran off as he equipped the Orphan Obliterator and cut of the Gremloblin's right arm, the arm holding Mabel. Techno used his momentum to whip around to the front of the Gremloblin and grab his cheeks, looking directly into his eyes.
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The Gremloblin was shocked, someone strong enough to cut off one of his arms was still stupid enough to look directly into his eyes. Suddenely, the world went dark, dinted red like blood, and subtle whispers were heard at the very edges of the world.
The Gremloblin grunted in confusion, he did not know where he was or what was happening. The Gremloblin decided to walk and see where he could get, so he started meandering. Before he could get far, however, the vague whispers began to increase in volume from all sides equally and the world was brightening, but was getting more and more red.
The Gremloblin was beginning to feel fear, the voices were just slightly too quiet to hear, and more disturbingly, patterns were starting to appear. Eyes, Mantras, murals of death and tragedy, and more, all blood red and dripping. Then, the voice's became understandable. [Blood, Kill, Murder]
The Gremloblin began to scream. Hundreds of voices tore into his very existence, denying his existence and overwriting it [KILL, MURDER, DEATH, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, RAINBOW CHAT, E, E, E, KILL, MURDER, DEATH, BLOODSHED, BLOOD, SKULLS]. The Gremloblin began to feel strange. Memories he once could recall perfectly began to feel… blurry [E, E, E, KILL, E, E, MURDER, BLOOD, /RAINBOWCHAT, KILL, BLOOD, BLOOD, E, E, E, E, E, E, E, DEATH]. Fortunatly, the Gremloblin could still remember his name, it was… what was it? What was his name? what was he, for that matter? Everything he knew was disappearing [E, FRESH BLOOD, E, E, E, KILL, MURDER, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, DEATH, DEATH, MORE BLOOD, MORE MURDER, LESS PEACE, E, E, E].
Eventually, the Gremloblin ceased to exist in the mindscape, his memories consumed to add to the hive mind's intelligence, and add new more species in the Collectio exstinctionis. If the Gremloblin still had any intelligence other than [BLOOD, DEATH, KILL, MURDER, E, E, E, DEATH], he might have been insulted that his opponent didn't even know what had happened to him; that Techno was not aware that he replicated what the Flood from Halo did to Captain Keys in Halo: Combat Evolved.
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In the real world, the Gremloblin began to disintegrate, turning to dust and floating off on the wind. Unbeknownst to the observers, The Gremloblin had not disintegrated, but his internal flesh and muscles had been consumed into the biomass supplies of the wild voices.
"Oh, hey Techno, I… Look, I'm sorry about the other day. If I had known about whatever had happened to you, I would never have suggested it, or at least phrased it better." Dipper said, awkwardly putting one hand behind his head.
"Nah, you didn't know, so I shouldn't have jumped down your throat that much."
"Whoa, what is going on here?" Mabel asked.
"Well, two days ago I went to see if Techno wanted to scare some tourists. He was busy looking for a friend, so I asked if his brother, that's Ghostbur. Were you aware when we met Ghostbur?" Mabel nodded. "I asked Ghostbur if he wanted to become an attraction, and Techno told him no."
"Okay, I know what you two should do, hug it out! Hug it out! Why aren't you hugging?"
"Mabel, guys don't really hug." Dipper said.
"Yeah, the age difference is… a tad uncomfortable." Techno intoned awkwardly
"Hey, speaking of which, how old are you Techno?" Dipper asked.
"Hmm, I'm not going to answer that now. Maybe later, I gotta go look for my friend."
"Bye Techno!" Mabel cheered.
"Bye Techno." Dipper said.
"Goodbyeee." Techno said as he wandered off into the woods.
"Dipper, it's the third day! We have seven hours to earn back our profits, or I've got to wear that loser shirt all summer!"
Wendy and Soos walked through the destroyed wall. "Hey guys! Am I nuts, or does this place look different?" Wendy asked.
"Wendy, Soos! Am I glad to see you. We've got a lot of work to do, but if we hurry, we can still beat Stan!"
"Uh, yeah. I've got a little headache, so maybe, I should like, not work today." Wendy suggested.
"And I actually just met this pack of wolves, and I think they're gonna like, raise me as one of their own, so I should really be at the den right now." Soos added.
"But-but…" Mabel started.
"But hey, we'll see ya on Monday." Wendy finished.
Soos pointed to some of the popsicles on the ground, "Uh, BT dubs, is anyone going to eat that?"
Mabel twitched and broke the pen she was holding. "ENOUGH! I have HAD IT! I fought a monster to save this business, and this is how you repay me?! I'm gonna get an ulcer from your lollygagging!"
"Lollygagging?" asked Wendy.
"Ulcer?" Soos asked. "You're acting… different."
"You shut your yaps! I've been doing everyone's job while you bums have been bleeding me dry!" Mabel shouted.
"But I-" Wendy started, before being interrupted by Mabel.
"No buts except yours on the floor cleaning! Now quit loafing and get to work!"
"Yes Mabel."
"That's yes, BOSS!" Mabel shouted, slamming her hands on the table, knocking Stan's fez of the coat rack it had been resting on and falling down onto Mabel's head. Mabel looked into the nearby mirror and gasped. "Dipper, what have I become?"
"What you had to, Mabel. What you had to." Dipper reassured, patting Mabel on the back.
"We've got seven hours to turn this around! Let's go, people!" Mabel ordered.
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After the seven hours were up, the entire cash jar was filled. Dipper began counting out expenses.
"Minus the money to replace all the furnitures, and supplies to fix the shack, that leaves us..." Dipper muttered as he punched numbers into a calculator.
"One dollar." Mabel said mournfully.
Stan entered through the front door. "Tick-tock! Times up, Kids!"
"Oh no!" Mabel cried.
"Nice to see you learned how to dress while I was gone." Stan told Dipper.
"How much did you beat us by?" Mabel sighed.
"I won $300,000!" causing Dipper and Mabel to cringe. "And then…"
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Back on the set of Cash Shower, The announcer was announcing. "For a chance to double your cash or lose it all, what is the six-letter word you use to ask for something politely? For example, "May I blank have that?"
"Do I look like an idiot, folks?" Stan asked, causing the audience to laugh. "The word is "gimmee." Two E's." A buzzer sounded, informing Stan that he was wrong.
"Oooh! You know, because you've gone this far, we're gonna give you one more chance. Let's try again. It's a "P" word. Some might even say it's the "magic word." The announcer offered.
"Pabracadabra! Final answer!" Stan tried. The buzzer sounded again.
"I'm sorry, Stan, but the word is..."
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"Please?" Mabel asked.
"Apparently that word can make you money." Stan admitted.
Dipper thought for a few seconds before speaking, "So, wait. If you lost everything, then that means...Mabel! You won!"
Dipper, Soos, Wendy, and Mabel all started cheering. """"We did it!""""
"Wait. what did we again?" Soos asked.
"Well, according to our bet, I guess Mabel's the new boss?" Stan answered.
"""" No! No! Don't do that!"""" the others panicked.
"Huh? What?"
"Grunkle Stan, I had no idea how hard it was being boss. This place was cuckoo bananas until I started barking orders at people like you." Mabel explained, handing Stan his fez.
"Yeah, well, I got to admit, it's kind of nice to be back, ya know? Oaky, okay, that's enough, get offa me! And Soos, Wendy; get to work! Ahem. Please. Uhh! Still hurts."
"Hey, Mabel, didn't your agreement say something about Stan having to do some kind of apology dance if he lost?" Dipper asked.
"N-no. No, it didn't." Stan said, not suspiciously at all.
"Actually, yeah, I think I have it in my notes here." Mabel said, grinning.
"No! That never happened!"
"Ha ha! I'll get the camera!" Wendy laughed.
"Alright, let me just…" Stan said before making a break for it.
"Grunkle Stan!" Mabel shouted after his retreating back.
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"Yo, Dip, I've been meaning to ask you, who was that with you back on Summerween, the guy who fought the Summerween Trickster?" Wendy asked while sitting behind the checkout counter reading Indie Fuzz.
"Oh, Techno? He's kind of like… Well, he's my trainer. He's a master of armed and unarmed combat, and has a this really nice place up on the cliffs where he lives with his brother."
"Aw, that's sweet! Who's his brother?"
"Do you remember back at the Dusk 2 Dawn, Ghostbur? The not old people ghosts?"
"Yeah… oh wait, really?"
"Yeah. Techno's really good with axes, and might be able to teleport."
"Huh. Where is his place? I wanna see if he's got tips for fighting the supernatural."
"He's up on the cliffs behind the shack."
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Stan was wearing a sparkly orange suit. "Uh, look, I'm not gonna…"
"Do it!" interrupted Mabel.
"I'm Stan and I was wrong,
I'm singing the Stan Wrong Song,
I shouldn't have taken that chance,
Now here's my remorseful dance."
"Do the kicks!" Mabel ordered. "Jazzier!"
Stan's kicks caused his fez to fall off, and Glombers the goat ran over to eat it. "Hey, gimmie that! Ow! My back!"
Mabel turned to her assistant director. "What do you think?"
Waddles just oinked.
"Take thirty!"
"Oh come on!"
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The Wild Voices consist of the insane and the spammers. The Wild Voices are often the newest souls consumed by Techno, and get moved up in ranks the longer they've been around. The Wild Voices lose a majority of their intelligence upon becoming a voice, but create a new personality as they evolve into higher voices.
They have the ability to pull souls into their grasp and collapse any biomass into a fleshy pocket dimension that can be pulled from by Techno to create weapons, buildings, and golems of flesh. This only happens in the most extreme of circumstances, and can only be stopped when somebody Techno cares for talks him down from it. While commanding the wild voices, Techno becomes truly immortal and is impossible to kill unless more damage can be dealt to him and his biomass supplies than he can make up, which is practically impossible.
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Completed 6/8/2023, Words: 5,363 Written using a pirated copy of Microsoft Word 2007.
AN2: Would you look at that, this is the longest chapter so far in the shortest amount of time. It turns out when you're free from work for two days and spend both watching Gravity Falls while writing, you can make some pretty good progress.
One of my favorite things about writing and publishing this online is that people all around the world read it and will comment using world languages and I can respond with help from Google Translate. The next chapter will probably take a tad longer, but It's still being worked on.