Chapter 15: the return of the (raven) king
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AN: Hello everyone. If I can, I'm going to try and make it through season 1 by the end of June. Happy anniversary to Gravity Falls, the best animated TV show ever! Pour yourself a cup of whatever you like to drink and raise a toast to Alex Hirsch for creating this world we love so much, and raise a toast to your favorite characters.
Fun fact I found from the commentary, the hand-witches clothes are based off of Manos: The Hands of Fate, a very good movie (not).
Fortnite added a Lewis gun, and as a major history buff, I like it very much.
Here's the link to the discord. /eSSP2GtYQS
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Techno skidded to a stop in front of the black blanket of crows that had covered his home and fields. The crows formed a series of circles around Techno, and a large bird with green eyes swooped down and walked forward.
"Hey Techno, Philza's starting to wake up. We don't know exactly where he is, but we can lead you to where we last saw him." Brian, Phil's oldest crow and leader of the flock, said in his dulcet TTS tone.
"Let's go."
"Follow!" cawed Brian. The murder of crows took to the skies and flew over the cliff's edge.
"Guys…? Hey guys? You know I can't fly, right?"
"Cahahaha" the crows laughed, circling back to lead Techno over land and not as the crow flies.
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Techno rushed through the underbrush, breaking through bushes and hopping over loose ground.
"This way!" cawed Brian, directing Techno left down the cliffs. The crows raced ahead, waited for Techno to catch up, made fun of him for being slow, and raced ahead again like little kids. Brian sighed to himself while watching them, hoping Phil would come back soon and reel their more chaotic impulses back in.
Techno saw, through the gap in the trees, a white bell tower. Techno came out from the woods and saw the tower was part of an abandoned church deep in the woods. A line of red yarn led from the front door out into the woods, down a dirt road.
"This is as far as we go. Phil is down beneath the church, somewhere." Brian said.
"Thanks." Techno said, walking through the doors. The crows waved goodbye and flew off, as there was a dangerous predator was about and they didn't want to be eaten. Techno's eyes adjusted to the semi-darkness inside the church. There was a hole in the wall, a collapsed section of flooring, and a Hillbilly in a rocking chair playin' a banjo.
"Howdy, feller! You here to find somethin' that durn wing-ly critter stole?" Old Man McGucket greeted from his a-rockin chair.
"Uhm, not exactly." Techno said, walking into the church. "What wing-ly critter?"
"Why, the P-terodactyl o' course. It shows up ev'ry summer and steals my shinies. It's down in them abandoned mines below the church." McGucket said, hopin' out of his chair and walking over to the hole and looking down.
"Huh." Techno commented, wondering if there might be a connection between where Phil was and how a Pterodactyl had survived something like 65 million years.
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Outside, the serenity of the forest was disrupted by the sound of an engine of a Fjord Bird O' Prey. Soos' rusty brown pick-up rolled up the dirt path, following the trail of yarn left by the Pterodactyl when it pignapped Waddles. Soos, Mabel, Dipper, and Stan were on a rescue operation to rescue Waddles.
The Pterodactyl had broken into the Mystery Shack an hour or so before and stolen Waddles while Mabel was at the store purchasing a Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle that works on pigs, IT WORKS ON PIIIIIIIIIIIIIGS, and left Stan in charge of Waddles. Stan fought the Pterodactyl to try and protect Waddles when he was feeding Waddles the richest of creams, but was unable to stop it from flying off.
Fortunately, Waddles' sweater hadn't been completed and started pulling apart in mid-air, leaving a bright red trail of yarn. Soos set up his truck for Pterodactyl capture, and the group rolled out. The truck pulled up to an abandoned church, which was the end of the trail. They exited the truck and walked up to the double doors.
"Okay, the red yarn leads to…" Mabel started.
"Doodly doo do doo do!" McGucket said playing the Banjo.
" Old Man McGucket?!" Mabel asked in surprise.
"Howdy, friends!"
"Bruh, we were in the middle of a conversation." Techno said. "Why did you rush back over to the rocking chair?"
"I have nuthin' to explain."
"Bruh."
"And Techno?" Mabel asked.
"Hallo."
"Wait, huh? Who's Techno?" asked Stan.
"He's a…" Dipper started before Techno interrupted.
"I'm pretty much a retired MMA fighter, and I've been training Dipper some. I think one of my friends is down in that hole."
"You're getting' trained by a MMA fighter, kiddo? Good."
"What are YOU doing out here, McGucket?"
"You'll never believe me! Now I was doin' my hourly hootnanny- Deedly doo ding dang!"
"Ugh, This guy." Stan complained.
When this enormous wing-ly critter stole my musical spoons and flew lickety-split into the abandoned mines down yonder!"McGucket said , standing up and leaving his banjo on the rockin' chair.
Soos, Dipper, Mabel, and Stan peered into the mines.
"Looks kinda hairy down there." Stan said.
"C'mon, Grunkle Stan, you can handle it! You punched a pterodactyl in the face, remember?" Mabel reminded Stan.
"Oh yeah! Heh heh, I did do that, didn't I. Heh... heh heh heh..."
"My, what suspicious laughter!" McGucket said.
"Guys, we're going in." Mabel ordered.
"Need someone to tag along and tell weird personal stories?"
"No thanks." Stan said.
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"So there I am, fighting a raccoon for the same piece of meat, when our mouths get close and we kiss accidentally!" McGucket said, tagging along to tell weird personal stories, as the group was descending a rope into the mine.
Stan sighed. "You can't take a hint, can you."
"Nope!"
The rope, unable to hold five people and a Piglin, began to fray before snapping, sending the people holding on plummeting… like ten feet onto a giant mushroom. A cloud of spores flew up, causing the Pterodactyl hunters to cough.
"Whoa." Dipper said, and the other adventurers agreed. "These plants look all Jurrasic-y."
"Huh! This little fella smells like battery acid!" Soos said, putting his head next to a flower bush. The flower sprayed Soos with pollen. "Aaaugh! Looks like I lost my sense of smell, ha ha!"
Mabel pulled out a picture of her and her pig. "Oh, Waddles. We're gonna find you." She said morosely.
"What's that about Waddles?" Techno asked Mabel.
"The Pterodactyl stole him!" Mabel exclaimed.
"Oof. He's down here?"
"Yep."
"I'll keep an eye open."
Dipper was in front of the group with a kerosene lantern as they walked out of the massive cavern and into the mine shafts. They walked for a few minutes before the walls became orange. The flickering light from the lamp barely illuminated the immediate area, creating shadows at the edges of their vision.
Inside the orange walls, Dipper thought he saw something moving. He rubbed his eyes, and decided that the movement must have just been a trick of the light. The group kept walking until Dipper's lantern light fell upon a T-rex, causing everyone except Techno to scream.
"They're all trapped inside tree sap! That's how they survived for 65 million years!" Dipper exclaimed, before noticing a Pterodactyl sized hole in the sap. "Whoa. The summer heat must be melting them loose!"
"Holy moley! Forget the cornicorn, this is the attraction of a lifetime! I could bring people down here and turn this into some sort of theme park! Jurassic... Sap Hole!" Stan plotted.
Soos pointed to a velicoraptor who has one claw free of the sap and is twitching it. "Uh, dudes…"
"Maybe… maybe we should keep moving." Dipper suggested.
Techno noticed a trail of black feathers in the sap, leading off further into the cave pointed perpendicularly away from the red yarn. "I think I found a hint towards were my friend is. I am going to find him."
"Bye Techno dude! See ya later." Soos said, waving.
"Keep an eye open for Waddles." Mabel moped.
Techno waved back and walked out of the lantern's light.
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Stan was lost in his own little world of a money making scheme. "This could be a gold mine! Velvety-rope type deal there, ticket booth here, ha! I should have put that pig outside ages ago!"
Standing directly behind Stan, Mabel was shocked. "Wait- what did you just say?"
"Hm? What's that?" Stan asked distractedly.
"You said the dinosaur flew INTO the house." Mabel gasped and frowned.
"No! Wait, uh, if you think about it-" Stan tried to explain but was interrupted.
"You put Waddles outside, then you lied to me about it!" Mabel started crying. "And now thanks to you, my pig could be dead! WADDLES COULD BE DEAD!"
"Look, he's an animal. He belongs outside!"
"No, that's it. Grunkle Stan, I am never ever speaking to you again!"
"Look, you can't be serious."
"Oh, is someone talking right now? Because I can't hear them!"
"Kid!"
"LA LA LA LA LA! I can't hear anyone! No one's talking to me!"
"Guys, guys, don't fight! Why can't you be more like me and Dipper? Look, everything's gonna be cool. All we gotta do to find the pig is follow this here yarn!" Soos said, balling the yarn. "Just keep following and following, until we reach the end! Oh- uh oh." Soos said realizing that he had rolled all the yarn into the ball. "Which- which cave was it again?" He asked staring into 12 mine shafts, seven on the top level and five on bottom.
"Arghhh! Soos, you lost the trail!" Dipper said walking up to the large man.
"Hey, come on. We'll find our way, TRUST me." Soos punctuated with a playful shove on Dippers back. The push knocked the lantern from Dippers hands and it shattered on the ground. "...Sorry, dude."
Dipper ran out of patience. "Ugh! That is it! See, this is why I didn't want to bring you along!"
"Look! -What -what do you mean?"
"I MEAN, this is really important to Mabel, and you keep screwing everything up! You ruined our photograph, and now you got us hopelessly lost!"
"But we're p-terodactyl bros! I made t-shirts!" Soos protested, pronouncing the p in pterodactyl.
"It's pronounced pterodactyl! And these shirts are useless, they're gigantic!"
"I have a different body type, dude!"
"Oh, so it's my fault?"
Soos and Dipper continued to argue, causing Mabel and Stan to resume their argument. The two pairs began arguing between each other a little before being interrupted.
"Hey! Cheer up, fellers! I fixed your lantern!" McGucket cheered, holding up the freshly fixed and lit lamp. Everyone except McGucket screamed, and McGucket started screaming a few seconds later. "Heh heh. What- what're we doing?"
McGucket turned around and saw the reason for the Pines's and Soos screams. The pterodactyl the group was hunting was standing right behind McGucket.
"Hmm? Oh. Nobody make any sudden movements or loud noises." McGucket said, and the Pines's and Soos tensed up. McGucket held still for a second before havin' a hootenanny. "YEEEEEEHAW! We found a pterodactyl!"
The pterodactyl screeched and started chasing the group through the mine shafts. The tunnels roof got lower until the pterodactyl had to run on all fours after them. The pterodactyl got caught on one of the braces for a few seconds, giving the group just enough time to hide behind a rock.
The room they had entered into was a massive cavern with a stone pillar supporting a pterodactyl egg dusted by sunlight from a hole in the roof. An old, partially destroyed mine cart track ran from the mine shaft, over to the pillar, and onto the other side of the room. Below, in the chasm, Jurassic plants created a jungle haze above the muddy ground.
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Techno was following the trail of feathers through the sap, being careful to avoid stepping into the dripping amber. The black feathers stood out in the orange liquid? Solid? Non-Newtonian fluid? Highly viscous liquid? Whatever the appropriate term, the dark feathers stood out in contrast, making it easy for Techno to follow the path.
Techno passed several massive tree trunks that had broken into the mines over the years, bleeding sap due to cave-ins cutting through the bark. The rough age of the trees could be calculated by what creatures were imprisoned within. From the great lizards far before humanity, to squirrels and a bearded collie, all were trapped in the amber prison for hundreds of millions of years.
Eventually, Techno came across a second line of feathers that combined into the first path and more and more feathers were grouped together. At the start, one or two feathers would be every few feet, but now it was an almost constant line of feathers often five or more per section.
Techno found more rows of feathers, all leading in the same direction. Eventually, Techno came across a solid wall of feathers at the intersection of the lines. The sap was slowly melting, with feathers floating down like sticks in a boggy stream. Philza was stuck far into the sap, with his wings folded over in front of his body.
Techno grabbed an empty bucket and began bailing out the melting sap, dropping the sap off to the side. Only the top layer of sap was thawing, so Techno switched to his pickaxe to hew through the goo. Techno cleaved through enough sap that he could get a grip on Phil and pulled him out of his sappy trap. Techno pulled Phil until the sap let him go, and accidently sent Phil flying.
Philza groaned, his eyes slowly opening. "What…? Where am I…?" he asked as he sat up from the where he landed on the ground.
"Phil!" Techno screamed, bowling Phil over.
"Oof, Techno." Phil groaned. "Wait, Techno?! Techno!"
"Philza!"
The two men, closer than brothers, who had not seen each other in years and had been forced to presume the other had died, sat hugging each other, crying. They gave comfort with their presence, giving physical proof that death had yet to claim them. After several minutes they got up and started talking.
"So, what have you up to in Gravity Falls, Techno?" Phil asked.
"I ended up here after the showdown, and I've just been livin' in the woods. Ghostbur's been living with me."
"Will's here? Good. Any idea where Tommy is?"
"Nah, I haven't seen him yet."
"Anything else?"
"I started training this kid who's keeps getting' into trouble."
"Tommy 2 right?"
"Bruh."
Phil chortled. "I kid, I kid. Although…"
"No."
Suddenly, screams echoed from elsewhere in the mines.
"That would be Tommy 2, right?"
"Phil I swear to-"
"The kid is probably in danger, let's go."
"Fine."
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Average_techno_fan: Philza Minecraft!
Technofan12321: Phil's back!
Def_not_a_stoner: Oldza!
Bananamilkshake: Phil!
Yallneedhelp: Crowfather!
Carpediem: corvus pater!
Laughteryoga: SBI 75% charged
ChadwickChadeusChaddington: The king hath returned
Yallneedhelp: Yo dadza is back
Yodasstick: Dadza!
: I vill make the fan art.
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Back in the cavern containing the pterodactyl nest, the pterodactyl hunters were still behind the rock.
"Guys, we need a plan to get out of here." Dipper said.
"Okay, okay. How's about Mabel gets Soos a pig costume-" Stan started.
"I like it!" Soos interjected.
"...and we use Soos as a human sacrifice!" Stan said, completing his suggestion.
"I like it!" Soos said again.
"What do you say, Mabel?" Stan inquired. Mabel hmph'ed, turning away from Stan, and looking off into the center of the cavern towards the pillar. "Ah, come on, you can't stop talking to me forever."
"Yeah, Mabel, we have to work together here." Dipper agreed.
Soos took insult to that statement. "Oh, what, you want to work with Mabel but not your buddy, Soos?" Dipper started to argue with Soos, and Stan got involved while Mabel mourned her pig and McGucket sat with no thoughts running through his head.
Then a noise rang through the cave. "WHOINK! WHOINK!"
"Wait, did you hear that?" Mabel asked, looking around for Waddles. She saw Waddles right next to the dinosaur egg. "Waddles!" Mabel smiled and ran towards the pig across the mine cart track.
"Oh, wait, kid!" Soos cried.
"Mabel!" Dipper yelled after his sister.
"Are you nuts?!" Stan shouted.
Mabel sarcastically yelled back, "Oh, is someone speaking? Because I can't hear anything!"
"Oh no! She's gone deaf with fear!" McGucket bemoaned.
"Mabel, come back here!" Dipper shouted and ran after her. Soos, Stan, and McGucket followed Dipper onto the tracks. Mabel reached the pterodactyl nest on the other side and gave her pet pig a big hug.
"Waddles!" Waddles gave a happy little grunt in Mabel's arms. "Oh, my Waddles! I'll never lose you again!" Mabel promised, rubbing her face against Waddles.
"Uh... Mabel?" Dipper asked, his voice wavering at the human bones inside the nest.
"Shh. You're safe now." Mabel said to Waddles and ignoring everyone else.
"Mabel, quick! We got him, now we gotta get out of here!" Dipper whispered harshly. A large, pterodactyl shaped shadow passed over the nest. Waddles screeched in terror and started running onto the tracks, back towards where the pterodactyl hunters came from, jumping on top of Stan.
"Huh? Ah!" Stan grunted with Waddles panicking on top of him, oinking in fear. "Get off me, you dumb pig!"
From the entrance of the mine shaft Techno and Phil came running in.
"Phil, we gotta protect that pig!" Techno said, running towards the mine track.
"Yep, let's go." Phil agreed, following him towards the end of the cliff.
The pterodactyl swooped down screeching upon Stan and Waddles.
"Look out!" Dipper yelled.
The pterodactyl missed Stan and Waddles but knocked into the mine cart track, sending Waddles and Stan plummeting into the depths below. Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and McGucket screamed.
"Oh no!"Mabel said.
"Stan!" Dipper yelled.
"Mr. Pines!" Soos panicked.
"I'll get him!" Phil said, leaping off the edge and spreading his magnificent black wings. The beautiful, ebony coated limbs spread out to catch the air… and he dropped like a rock. Phil tried to flap his wings, but due to all the sap stuck in his feathers he couldn't generate any lift. "AAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"PHHIIILLLLZZZZAAAAAAaaaaaa!" Techno screamed as he dived after Phil.
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Stan screamed as he and Waddles fell into the Jurassic jungle, plummeting several stories to almost certain death. Fortunately, Stan landed on a giant mushroom, slowing his fall enough to survive. Then Stan and Waddles slid off the giant mushroom into the mud, which Waddles enjoyed.
"Yeah, you would enjoy this." Stan grumbled. The pterodactyl swooped down again, barely managing to grab Stan's fez. "Aaaaaah! Huh?"
The pterodactyl flew back up to the top of the cavern and unintentionally dropped Stan's fez in front of Soos, Dipper, and Mabel in the nest.
"Guys! We gotta save them!" Mabel said.
Dipper turned to McGucket. "McGucket, do you have an invention that can distract the pterodactyl?"
"Do I!?" McGucket asked rhetorically, rooting through his hat. "Nope!"
The single pterodactyl egg began to crack and fell on its side, at which the people up top gasped. The egg hatched, and out of the top popped a baby pterodactyl that made a squeaky peeping noise.
"Awwww!" mabel coo'ed.
McGucket walked up to the pterodactyl to give it some pets. "Well, welcome to the world, little feller-" He said before rudely being interrupted by being eaten by the baby pterodactyl. "AAAAUGH!"
Dipper, Mabel, and Soos screamed at the sight.
Back at the bottom, Stan and Waddles sat under the mushroom while the adult pterodactyl circled above.
"The dumb thing must be hungry. I guess it's you or me, pig." Stan said, pushing Waddles with his foot out into danger. Waddles turned his head back towards Stan and gave him the puppy dog eyes. "What are you looking at? Aw come on, don't give me that look! What am I supposed to do, let it eat me?" Stan asked , giving Waddles the side-eye.
Waddles continued to watch Stan. "Urgh! Oh, I get it." Stan yelled, getting to his feet and pacing. "You're trying to guilt me. Well it ain't working, pal. Who cares if you're Mabel's favorite thing in the world? I can live without the kid talking to me all the time!... Telling me her jokes... makin' me laugh..." Waddles tilted his head at Stan, making him laugh.
The pterodactyl screeched and made another run towards Waddles. "Aw! Dang it!" Stan said, before putting Waddles into the Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle and strapping it to his back. "Well, this is just about the dumbest thing I've ever done." Stan said to himself before yelling at the pterodactyl. "YOU WANT THIS PIG?! THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GET THROUGH ME, YOU FLYING DEVIL! COME AND GET ME!" Stan jumped up onto the pterodactyl.
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Back up at the nest, the adventurers were panicking.
"Ah dude! Did he really just eat that prospecter guy? That is messed up!" Soos declared. The baby pterodactyl coughed out McGucket's hat, and McGucket followed up the baby's throat and peeking out of its mouth.
"I'm okay!" McGucket said, before being swallowed again. Mabel, Dipper, and Soos backed away from the baby.
"What do we do, what do we do!" Dipper panicked.
"We have to get in a straight line." Soos said seriously.
"What?"
"The pterodactyl's eyes are so far apart, that if you stand right in front of it, it can't see you!" Soos explained.
"Soos, you've been wrong about stuff all day. How can we-" Dipper started saying before being interrupted.
"Dude, look. I-I know I've messed up a lot. I could be sort of clumsy and... It's not always as loveable as I think. But please, as my friend, just trust me on this one!" Soos begged. Dipper looked at the baby pterodactyl and then back at Soos. Soos was nodding, and Dipper smiled and nodded back. "Get behind me, dudes!"
Dipper and Mabel got into a single file line behind Soos and they moved quietly towards the mine cart track. The baby pterodactyl heard something and looked up, looking around for the source of the noise, but due to the placement of his eyes, was unable to see the adventurers.
"It's working!" Mabel cheered as they walked a tightrope on one of the iron bars from the mine cart track. They had to jump back and forth between the straps to avoid being seen by the baby pterodactyl. After a very stressful journey, Soos, Mabel, and Dipper collapsed behind the rock they hid behind when they first entered the room.
"Soos, you did it!" Dipper congratulated. Another screech rang out, and the three began looking for the source.
"""Huh?""" Up in the air, the adult pterodactyl was flying around and an impact, almost like somebody had punched a big lizard, was heard.
"Was that..?" Dipper started.
"Stan?" Mabel finished.
Stan was riding on the back of the pterodactyl punching it repeatedly with Waddles in the baby carrier tied to his front. "Waddles!" Mabel cheered.
"He's punching him in the face!" Dipper cheered.
"From heck's heart I stabeth thee!" Stan yelled, punching the pterodactyl so hard it crashed into the cliff by the entrance. Stan jumped off the pterodactyl's back with barely enough time to grab onto the top of the cliff and drag himself up. Soos and Dipper cheer for Stan, and Mabel stares at him in delight, wearing his hat.
"Here's your pig, kido." Stan said, puppeteering Waddles to wave at Mabel.
"Waddles!" Mabel squealed. "You saved him for me!"
"Yeah, well." Stan said, grabbing his fez from Mabel. "Some times you just gotta.. LOOK OUT!" Stan yelled and the gang started running as the pterodactyl clawed its way up the cliff behind Stan. The adventurers ran back through the cave and the mine back to the massive sink hole where they had first descended. Unfortunately, the rope they had used to get down had ripped, leaving them without a way out.
"We're trapped!" Stan yelled.
Dipper noticed one of the geysers pushing a massive rock up and out of the hole. "Quick! The geyser could shoot us back up!" They all hoped into the geyser and waited for it to explode. "C'mon… Go, go!" Dipper encouraged the geyser as the pterodactyl dived down towards them. The pterodactyl roared and the adventurers screamed.
"Bros before dinos!" Soos yelled, punching the geyser hard enough to activate it. The geyser launched the group out of the hole and through the church before the geyser ran out and the gang fell back into the church. Mabel and Waddles landed on a chandelier, Soos and Dipper ended up inside a piano, and Stan fell inside a coffin. The back of the church collapsed, and the adventurers left through the front door.
"I can't believe you did all that for Waddles!" Mabel told Stan.
"Ah, well. I can't have my favorite niece not talking to me." Stan said, leaning on a tree. "And if I gotta leap onto a pterodactyl and punch him in the face, then that's what I gotta do."
"That's kinda sappy."
"W-what? That's how I feel!"
"No, I mean…" Mabel trailed off, pointing at Stan's hand.
"Oh, yeah." Stan said before grabbing her face with his sappy hand. "Gotcha! Ha ha ha ha. Uh-oh." Stan realized that he couldn't get his hand off of Mabel's face causing both to scream.
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Stan, Mabel, and Waddles sat in the backseat of Soos's truck, covered in sap and sleeping on each other. Dipper and Soos were in the front.
"Check it out!" Dipper said, holding up his vest which now had a massive hole in the back. "That thing destroyed my vest!" Dipper then found something in his vest. "Soos, look!" it was a tooth from the pterodactyl.
"A real dinosaur tooth? That's awesome!" Soos said.
"Not as awesome as you saving us back there. Pterodactyl bros?" Dipper offered.
"Pterodactyl bros." Soos agreed, fist bumping him. "Boosh! Hey! I pronounced it right that time!"
"Think we need to worry about the rest of those dinosaurs?"
"I doubt it." Soos denied.
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Phil and Techno climbed back up the cliff just as the pterodactyl chased after the Pines. The baby pterodactyl began squeaking so Phil and Techno prepared for war. Then, the squeaking picked up in speed before the baby started coughing up blood.
"What?" Phil asked in shock. Techno moved in front of Phil to block whatever was coming when the baby's chest burst open and a hillbilly ripped its way out. The baby pterodactyl screeched in agony as McGucket rolled out of the hole and the baby tried to fly away, but without any experience in flight and losing blood and guts, it could barely get over the edge of the nest before plummeting down below.
"Heya fellers, I just ate my way through a dino-sour! Ee he he he he!" McGucket said, playing his musical spoons.
"Um… okay. I think he's insane." Phil whispered to Techno.
"Yup!" McGucket shouted.
"Seems like it. You wanna see my house?"
"Yeah, let's go home."
"G'dbye friends, I'll see ya later!" McGucket said before working his way out the church.
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Techno and Phil climbed out of the hole in cavern and started walking towards Techno's house. High above the tree line, the scouts that Brian had left to keep watch flew towards the crows, perched throughout the forest peering down on the denizens within. As word began to spread that Philza had been freed, the murders of crows would send their fastest flier out to spread the word further, and the rest would go see Phil.
Thousands of crows circled the walking pair, pulling off air tricks in a great celebration of their king's return. The first birds to arrive had managed to snag a seat on Phil himself, and were crowded on his head and shoulders, while a few hundred marched in formation behind them. Only the honor guard, Phil's adopted ravens and their descendants partook in the parade/escort, all others watched, cheering, from the branches of trees.
Philza and Technoblade talked about everything and nothing on their walk, memories from a time long past and hopes for a far future. Techno talked about his adventures since arriving in Gravity Falls, and Phil told Techno what had happened.
"After I bought Tommy time, I was kicked from reality and floated in the absence of space for a while. It's hard to describe, it was like being weightless and being the heaviest I've ever been simultaneously. Time was motionless, but you could still move. There was nothing to see, and yet you saw everything. There was no air, and yet it was the cleanest breaths I had ever taken, even purer than at the start, when only the trees lived. I had nothing to do, and yet never felt bored; I floated and slid between dreams and memories until I finally started to wake up.
A local researcher had apparently found me in the woods, with the wounds I received from Dream. He took me in and helped me heal my wounds, and had an insatiable appetite for the knowledge, always wanting to learn just one more thing. Many a night was spent telling him my tales, both true and less so, which he recorded in his journals. Eventually, he said I could publish some of those stories, so I did. I even made a decent amount of money, enough that I could start to personalize the room he provided while I recovered.
After I recovered, I moved around the caves surrounding the valley, including the cave I got trapped in the sap in. I appeared here in early 1976, and lived with the researcher for about a year. Even after I moved out, I would often swing by for tea. For some reason his personality seemed to change slightly a few years later, and he made repeated references to some kind of 'muse'.
I think it was early January in 1983 when I got stuck in the sap, and I don't know how. The sap should have been frozen at that point, It shouldn't have been possible for anything to get stuck, so I think somebody was targeting me."
"If they want to hurt you, now they'll have to go through me."
"Thanks, Tech. Anyway, while I was in the sap I was mostly asleep. I was aware for a few minutes every now and then, but what's the date?"
"It is currently 2012, July 10th."
"I was right when I guessed thirty-ish years, huh? I wonder if the researcher is still in town."
"I've been to town a few times, I might recognize the name or something." Techno offered.
"The researcher's place was outside the town at 618 Gopher Road, and the researcher had six fingers on each hand."
"618 Gopher Road, huh? That's a tourist trap now, and the owner only has five fingers a hand."
"Must've moved out or something."
"Probably."
.
.
When Techno and Phil made it home, Phil was impressed with the house.
"This is a good looking base. I see you're keeping up old habits, ey?" Phil asked, pointing to the potato fields.
"Bruh."
Ghostbur came by, laying on his back and riding on Friend. "Hello Techno! I see you brought a new friend home, who is it?"
"Hey GGGGhostbur." Phil created.
"D-dad?!" Ghostbur asked, shooting up from his resting positon. "Dad! You're back!"
"Hey, kiddo." Phil said as Ghostbur floated over rapidly to give him a hug. Ghostbur, however, had forgotten that he was a ghost and therefore couldn't really interact with the living, and so just passed through Phil. Phil put his arms around Ghostbur, being careful not to accidently swing his arms through the ghost, and just held him while he cried.
After a few minutes, Ghostbur wiped his tears and looked into Phil's eyes. "You want some blue?"
"Sure." Phil said, accepting the gift.
Come on Phil, I still have the mines to show you!" Techno yelled once he saw his brother had been comforted.
"One sec, let me get up." Phil called back.
"Take yer time, old man."
Phil got an irritation mark on his forehead, "I'm not that old ya little shit."
"What ever, Oldza"
.
.
In a small town, during midnight, the hottest part of the night, a stranger walked up to the walls gate. The wall was low, barely high enough to block the strangers eyes much less stop someone determined to get across, but the stranger wished to make a good impression on the townsfolk.
"Halt, who goes there!?" the night watchmen yelled.
"I'm an explorer, looking for ancient ruins."
"Do you have identification?"
The wanderer successfully provided an ID from a major city and was let in. A majority of the townsfolk were asleep, but the wanderer was able to successfully get a room at the inn. Before the wanderer went to sleep, he pulled out a map with a strange, glowing purple mark on it.
"I'm getting close. Soon, everything will change."
.
.
Completed: 6/15/2023, Words:5,455, Written using a pirated copy of Microsoft Word 2007.
AN2: I just finished watching the Gravity Falls commentary, which means I have seen the series seven times so far. I'm going to finish up disk three, then watch through Gravity Falls again. I like using it for background audio, as it really gets me in the mood to write.
As much as I would love for more Gravity Falls, (Cipher, if you're out there, I will literally help you end the world to get a few more official Gravity Falls stories.), I do have to agree with Hirsch that it is a good ending. Every time that ending plays, I cry, and have related to Grenda, Soos, and Candy at the end when Grenda punches her stupid heart for having feelings.