Chapter 28: In the heir tonight
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AN: This is a bonus chapter because I felt that going from Northwest Mansion to Not What He Seems was too direct with Pacifica's status. Plus, I had a few ideas for interactions and didn't want to have to wait until after Tale of Two Stans.
Apparently there's some drama with Wilbur? I'm not entirely clear on it, and until a youtuber I trust covers it, I won't give my opinion. That said: abuse is hella cringe, and I'm glad I'm using a character in my fic. I highly doubt the real Wilbur is the biological son of Phil and Kristen, biological brother of Tommy, and has died/been revived multiple times.
Also that was a Spiffing Brit reference last chapter guest on Fanfiction.
Beta'd by the supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Sora
Discord: /eSSP2GtYQS
This one is kinda heavy, so trigger warnings for: Suicidal thoughts, Parental abuse (kinda), Parents being pieces of shit, Selling one's body, Archaic thoughts on marriage, Sexism, light underage sex.
(author) (btw, I go by bad on the discord)
[Beta]
[Chat, hear me out, I think Bad's finally lost it on what i've just read of the triggers.]
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Pacifica shoots upward in a panic. The sun has already risen above the horizon, and the servants hadn't woken her. Her father would lecture her, and more than likely get new servants. Pacifica didn't want that to happen, her current ones were sources of what Pacifica imagined motherly love was like. They nursed her bruises, gave her advice, and slipped her snacks whenever she was being punished.
Pacifica realizes that she doesn't recognize the room she's in and starts panicking. 'Oh no, I've been kidnapped!' She thinks. 'I gotta escape! I'll call my father… my father.' Her thoughts trail off as the memories of the previous evening comes back to her. Pacifica begins to cry.
A soft knock interrupts her sorrow, accompanied by a young boy's voice calling softly through the door. "Pacifica? You up? Breakfast is almost ready."
Pacifica clears her throat and brushes away her tears, 'A Northwest must not show emotion', and answers. "Yeah, I'm awake. Let me get dressed and I'll be right out."
"Okay."
Pacifica begins pulling herself out of bed when she realizes something. "H-hey, Dipper? Can you stay? I don't know where the dining room is."
"Of course." Dipper promises.
Pacifica smiles as she begins looking around the room for a change of clothes. The only thing missing from her current outfit was the shoes, which Pacifica noticed were sitting beside the bed. Apart from them, there were no extra clothes in the room.
"Dipper? Are there more clothes somewhere?" Pacifica asks cautiously.
"I mean, just Mabel's clothes."
Pacifica swallows. "I see." The Northwest heiress exits the room, trying to ignore how wrinkly her dress is. Dipper is waiting right outside for her, and offers her his elbow. Pacifica looks at him curiously.
Dipper blushes and moves the offered arm to rub the back of his head. "I saw it in a movie once." He admits sheepishly. Pacifica smiles, and the pair head towards the kitchen.
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Stan is making his world famous Stan-cakes when Dipper and Pacifica enter the kitchen. Mabel is sitting at the table, sharing a pile of pancakes covered in syrup with Waddles. Stan grunts in greeting, nodding at a pile of fresh pancakes.
"Serve yourselves. I gotta make more for the little monster." Stan says, gesturing at Waddles with his spatula to make it clear who he was talking about.
"Aw, you know you love Waddles Grunkle Stan." Mabel responds happily. Dipper grabs a plate for both him and Pacifica and starts serving pancakes.
"I refuse to confirm or deny that statement." Stan deadpans.
Dipper snorts. "Yeah, it's not like you punched a pterodactyl for Waddles."
Stan turns to point his spatula at Dipper. "Hey, I had perfectly selfish reasons for doing that!"
Dipper and Mabel shoot grins at each other before they start chanting. "Heart! Of! Gold! Heart! Of! Gold! Heart! Of! Gold!"
"Oh, my reputation!" Stan gasps dramatically, grabbing at his heart. "Whatever shall I do!"
Pacifica smiles slightly at the interaction. She takes her plate and a fork and heads to the table. The twins continue to tease their Grunkle as Pacifica sits down. She frowns slightly as she pours a little syrup onto her pancakes, concentrating on not getting sticky.
The Pines settle into a comfortable silence. Stan continues making pancakes and Dipper shovels his pancakes down before running outside. Pacifica watches him leave with mild concern. Mabel notices Pacifica staring after her brother and decides to be helpful.
"He's off to go train."
Pacifica jumps almost imperceptibly. "T-thanks."
Mabel waves her off. "So, why are you in that dress still? It doesn't look very comfortable: besides, you strike me more as a lake-foam green gal than a sea-foam green."
(I kinda forgot Pacifica changed into a purple dress; let's just say that since her parents are more… unhinged, she didn't feel comfortable changing into a purple dress.)
Pacifica's face twists in on itself in an interesting mix of embarrassment, catharsis, and fear. "I d… …y o…er clothes." Pacifica mumbles, studying the table.
"What?" Mabel asks through a mouth full of pancakes.
"I d-don't have any other clothes." Pacifica says weakly, clenching her eyes closed in preparation for insults to be thrown her way. Mabel pretends not to notice.
"I've got some extra clothes, they should fit until we can go shopping." Mabel offers before squealing. "Shopping! We can go shopping together! I have so many outfit combinations!"
"I don't want to be a burden..." Pacifica says slowly, uncomfortable with how far the Pines had gone to accommodate her. Inside her mind, Pacifica was screaming. 'If they're doing this much, what will they want in return!? I don't have access to the Northwest wealth, maybe using me as an heir? Possible blackmail against my parents? Would they… sell me to the mob? Use me for insider training? I have to figure out their end goals or become part of the family, or else I'm doomed.'
"Hey, don't worry about bein' a burden. You're still a kid, besides, you're working for me." Stan swoops in to reassure Pacifica.
"T-thank you, sir." Pacifica stammers softly. She had not been reassured. ' "Still a kid?" Does that mean slave labor while I'm a child, and when I grow up…'.
Stan smiles soothingly. "Don't call me 'sir', kid. Makes me feel old."
Pacifica nods, not soothed in the slightest. 'Am I already supposed to call him master?! This is all going so fast! No, remember Pacifica. A Northwest does not show emotions. A Northwest does not let petty things like feelings interfere with business.'.
"Hey Mabel, you wanna go pick out some clothes for Pacifica after breakfast?" Stan asks.
"uh, doy!" Mabel grins with bits of pancake stuck in her teeth at her Grunkle. "I can't wait to create some outfits to match your hair!"
Pacifica smiles back without the smile reaching her eyes. 'Am I just going to be a dress-up doll?! Well, it is demeaning, but… better than the alternatives.' Pacifica mentally nods to herself, and begins eating her breakfast as fast as she can while still retaining an air of decorum.
The two girls finish simultaneously and Mabel walks over to the sink and begins rinsing her dishes. Pacifica, in an effort to not look useless, copies her and accidentally spraying water all over herself. Pacifica blushes at her mistake and blushes even harder when Dipper walks in and sees her covered in water. Mabel takes pity on Pacifica and drags her to the attic.
Stan yells after his grandniece. "Don't worry about time; I'm giving you the day off to help our guest get used to the shack!" Mabel squeals in delight.
"Why don't I get the day off?" Dipper complains.
"Cause I love Mabel more." Stan says sarcastically. Dipper looks disapprovingly at Stan. "Fine: I think the kid needs someone she can relate to." Dipper nods his agreement to that statement. "I also don't want any great-grandnieces or nephews running around for a while."
"Wha- Grunkle Stan!" Dipper yells, somehow both blushing furiously and insulted down to his very core. Stan laughs uproariously at the sight.
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Mabel quickly runs through her collection of clothes. While yes, there were a lot of them, most of them either didn't suit Pacifica, didn't quite fit, or just didn't have complimentary elements. Pacifica is strangely pliable with the constant outfit changes, not protesting when asked to change a piece of the outfit and only giving her opinion if directly asked. Mabel doesn't think much of it, assuming Pacifica just didn't sleep well the previous night. She does, however, make a mental note to grab Pacifica a glass of Mabel juice.
Pacifica ends up in a sky blue pair of shorts and a pink t-shirt showing a cat holding on for dear life to a tree branch.
"Hm." Mabel thinks aloud. "I can only make a few more outfits, but if you use my sweaters, we should be able to get some extra mileage out of it. We'll have to get more pants and skirts." Mabel mumbles before lighting up. "Ooh! We can go to the mall! I'll go ask Grunkle Stan for money!"
"Wait!" Pacifica yelps through a clenching throat. "Don't- I don't want to be a burden." She all but begs, not wanting to place herself even further into a perceived debt.
"Well, we can't let you go around without enough clothes." Mabel states confused. "We gotta get more somewhere, and unless we steal them it'd cost money." Mabel then has an idea. "Hey, I wonder if Wendy would help us steal the clothes?"
Pacifica has an idea of her own. "W-what if we broke into Northwest Mansion and stole from there?" She suggests awkwardly, trying to ignore her father's voice yelling at her to never betray the Northwest name, to never let commoners into the mansion.
Mabel smiles and starts jumping up and down excitedly. "That's a great idea! Except, it wouldn't really be stealing. It'd be more like regaining your property. After all, stealing from someone who stole from you is completely justified."
"I'm not sure about that… never mind, when should we go?" Pacifica asks, slightly unsettled by Mabel's 'moral lessons'.
"Right now." Mabel says, dragging Pacifica behind her again.
"Right now!?" Pacifica repeats in shock.
"Right now!" Mabel cheers. The two rush towards the back door when Stan walks into the hall from the living room. He's dressed in his showman's clothes, and was grabbing a pit cola before he got back to work.
"Where ya heading kiddo?" Stan asks.
"To go steal some clothes!" Mabel smiles.
Stan nods. "Do you remember what I told you about the cops?"
"Feign innocence until you can come pick me up?" Mabel asks.
"Yep." Stan agrees. "Well, have fun." He walks into the kitchen and grabs a cola.
Mabel and Pacifica exit into the woods before Pacifica asks one of her several questions. "Um, why is your uncle so supportive of crime?"
" 'Cause he's an uncle, and not an actually responsible guardian!" Mabel answers happily.
"Yeah, but most people tend to obey the law." Pacifica continues in confusion. "Especially the pea- poorer members of society."
Mabel raises an eyebrow at Pacifica's near slip-up, but doesn't comment on it. "As my Grunkle always says, 'Laws are for chumps.'."
"But that doesn't explain why he disregards the law!"
"He'll deny it, but he's a conman with a heart of gold." Mabel says happily.
"I- you- wha- I- y'know what, never mind." Pacifica gives up understanding the Pines family at this time.
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The two reach the base of Northwest hill, and stare at the mansion. Their goal was in sight, but there was one minor issue. Surrounding the compound was the best guards money could buy, if by best you meant most and by money in general you meant Pacifica's clothes budget. That's not to say Pacifica's clothes budget was small, it's just not as much as could be applied if Preston Northwest were to use any of his wealth.
The guards patrol in groups of two and three, operating under the express orders of Preston: "I am punishing my daughter: she is not to be allowed inside for any reason, at least not until I feel she has been punished sufficiently. We will also be having a bonfire in a few days: the fuel will be Pacifica's clothes."
Preston plans to let his daughter come back after finalizes a deal or two. Optimally, he could convince Billiam to marry into the family, but a lesser family would work as well. By burning Pacifica's clothes, he'll make her more reliant on him, and by using her clothes budget to pay for the extra guards, she will be forced to beg for enough money to get the latest designer clothes. Naturally, he won't have his daughter look like a tramp, but she doesn't need to know that. Instead of burning the clothes, he could donate them to charity, but that doesn't get the point across sufficiently.
In his mind, Pacifica would be so happy to be able to see her family again, she wouldn't mind sacrificing her life for the greater good of the Northwest family. In fact, if she learned the lesson well enough, she might even be proud to marry for material gain. Preston poured himself a glass of Billiam's wine, 'Errico Malatesta', in celebration of such delightfully devilish conniving.
Keeping his daughter out until the right moment isn't the only reason Preston had for increasing security. Naturally, he would never admit it, but several items had gone missing after the party. Preston was naturally furious, but refused to show weakness.
Back below the hill, Pacifica and Mabel were plotting on how to gain entry.
"We can't go through the front door, so let's grapple hook up onto the roof and enter like that." Mabel suggests.
"We won't be able to get close enough, they're using dogs." Pacifica shakes her head. "We either need to get past them instantly, or distract the guards."
"Why are we sitting behind some trees looking up at the fancy rich people house?" a voice asks from behind the pair causing them both to scream and spin around.
"Who-?!" Mabel starts before being interrupted.
"You're Mabel, right? Techno was talking about you and your brother." The stranger says. "Oh, I'm Axolotl666 by the way, just call me Axolotl." Axolotl is dressed in a purple sweatshirt with a yin-yang design and a casual pair of sweatpants.
"Wait, you're friends with Technoblade?" Mabel clarifies.
"Who's Te-" Pacifica starts to ask before being interrupted.
"Kinda? I'm staying with Ranboo, and he's living with Techno, so… yes?" Axolotl explains with incredible amounts of confidence.
"Cool, cool." Mabel nods before grinning. "Wanna help us break in and commit theft?"
"Sure!" Axolotl agrees. "Wait, Ranboo said 'you gotta have a good reason for crime, or else it is just cringe.'"
"The Northwest's threw a party last night that almost went terribly. Pacifica saved a bunch of lives, but let not rich people into the party. Her father then kicked her out." Mabel gives a quick rundown of the previous night.
Axolotl begins shaking in rage and making strange grumbling noises. Mabel and Pacifica back up slightly. Axolotl comes back to their senses, and while angry, they seem unlikely to go on a rampage. "Alright. I'm in. What do you need?" They ask in a state of controlled anger.
"A distraction. Keep the guards attention for a few minutes, just so we can get inside." Mabel answers. Axolotl nods, and the trio takes their places.
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A trio of guards patrol the exterior of the Northwest Mansion when they see a figure wearing a purple sweatshirt running ahead of them.
"Hey!" One of the guards calls. The trio chase after the figure, ringing the alarm and gathering the rest of the guards. The figure hums a song that the guards can't quite make out but seems peppy, like you would hear it in the subway, as they chase just behind the figure.
The guards are so distracted, they don't notice two figures sneaking up to and then over the walls. Pacifica and Mabel enter the mansion through the servants' entrance.
"So, which way?" Mabel asks cheerfully.
"Shh, keep it down!" Pacifica hushes. "Follow me."
The two head deeper into the mansion, heading towards Pacifica's room. They dodge several wandering servants by ducking into rooms and taking hidden passages. They're almost at their destination, when they see a crowd of servants huddled around a door.
"What's that?" Mabel whispers.
"My father's office. I wonder what they're listening to." Pacifica answers curiously. Pacifica drags Mabel over to a false wall so they can eavesdrop. Inside the office, Pacifica can hear her mom and dad.
"I still don't understand why you won't let our daughter return!" Priscilla Northwest demands of her husband.
"Dear, she damaged our family name. I'm simply… teaching her a lesson about how good she has had it. When she returns, she will be the perfect, submissive daughter." Preston explains placatingly.
"But what if one of the other families discovers our heir has been banished?"
"They won't. I have arranged for one of my… nieces to come and take her place. If Pacifica fails to return to her senses, we will simply use the replacement." Preston reassures.
"What about Pacifica's clothes?" Priscilla asks.
"They are being burned as part of her lesson." Preston answers. "And before you ask, we will, of course, be purchasing a new wardrobe for the replacement.
"Are you sure this is wise?" Priscilla presses.
"Stop questioning me woman! I am the patriarch, and will continue to lead this family to greatness."
"Yes dear." Priscilla sighs and leaves the room. The crowd of servants are still in the adjoining room, but have taken up positions like they weren't previously eavesdropping. Preston groans in his study after his wife closes the door.
"Why must she ask so many questions?" he complains to himself. "It's not like she knows the girl is actually one of my bastards."
Pacifica gasps slightly, freezing completely.
"Hm? Is someone there?" Preston calls.
Mabel, thinking quickly, pulls Pacifica out of the false wall and around the corner right before Preston peers around the corner at where they just were. Preston shrugs to himself and returns to the study.
Pacifica isn't responding, so Mabel pulls her into another room to keep them from being seen and bring the ex-heiress back to the world of the living.
"Pacifica! Pacifica! C'mon, wake up!" Mabel hisses, lightly shaking the other girl.
In Pacifica's mind, she's running around in circles screaming and flailing her arms. 'I'm no longer the heir, they have no use for me! I'm no longer the heir, they have no use for me! I'll be kicked out to the streets! No matter what, I'll end up married to someone for my father!'
"Pacifica? Paz? P-lady? Wake up!" Mabel whispers before having an idea and running into a nearby room to find some water.
Pacifica doesn't notice Mabel leaving. 'Dad's cheating on mom, I'm being replaced! I'll starve on the streets until I surrender completely to father's wishes! No, I'll never submit meekly to him. I'd sooner… jump in the lake. Yeah, I'll jump in the lake! I won't go back! But, I don't wanna die, I'm too young! If only I could figure out a way to not be kicked out. I can't offer any financial incentives, so what do I do?'
Mabel returns with a glass of cold water. "Hey Pacifica, respond or I'm dousing you in water." Mabel instructs.
Pacifica is too wrapped up in her own mind to hear Mabel. 'I have to offer something else. The only thing I have is my body and the clothes on my back. Hmm… if I'll end up married either way, I may as well do it with someone who has a good heart, and beautiful eyes, and prefect hair. Someone who's heroic and won't treat me badly. Someone like-'
Before Pacifica can finish her thought, Mabel pours the glass of water on her face. Pacifica splutters, glaring at the female Pines twin, who shrugs. "What? You weren't responding."
"I swear, I will-!" Pacifica cuts herself off before she can damage her (what she assumes is unsteady) footing with the Pines. She sighs. "Let's just get my clothes before someone sees us."
Mabel nods in agreement and the duo turn to head out of the room and towards Pacifica's room... when they make eye contact with a maid. Both parties stand frozen in shock. Pacifica stares pleadingly towards the maid, hoping against hope that the servant doesn't scream and/or run for help. The world freezes for a few seconds before the maid starts moving.
Slowly, as if dealing with a skittish animal, the maid holds a finger up to her mouth, shushing the two girls and winking. The maid backs out of the room slowly, leaving the duo trading looks.
"Do we trust that?" Pacifica asks.
"Eh, don't see why not." Mabel answers. "Though, we may want to hurry up."
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The two successfully navigate to Pacifca's room without any other misadventures. Inside the room, Pacifica's clothes are scattered in loose piles, sorted by size, purpose, and how many jewels were imbedded in them. The closet doors are open, and all Pacifica's drawers and boxes are opened. The former heiress feels an unbearable sadness well up inside her. If she wasn't on a time constraint, she probably would have curled up into a ball and cried for a while.
"Well, let's get packin'." Mabel says. "Where's your suitcases?"
"They should be in the closet." Pacifica answers dully, gesturing to the gaping doors.
Mabel walks in, humming to herself and grabs the largest suitcases that can be realistically moved. Pacifica debates internally with herself for a few seconds before rushing over to her desk and reaching behind it. Her hands close around her target: her diary. By some miracle, when Pacifica's parents ravaged her home, they had missed Pacifica's most private possession.
Mabel carries out a pair of backpacks and four rolly-suitcases and lays them on the ground. "Alright Paz, You sort, I'll pack."
Pacifica nods. "Alright. I- what did you call me?"
"Paz? It's a nickname, 'cause Pacifica is kinda a mouthful." Mabel explains.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why insult me?" Pacifica asks in genuine confusion.
"Insult? How did I- oh! Is this another thing your parents taught you?" Mabel asks.
"Yes?" Pacifica asks, her unasked question of 'why?' evident in her tone.
"Nicknames are a short greeting between friends, like 'hey, I'm close to you, and care about you enough to know you well enough that I use either a shortened version of your name, or something you like'. Sometimes they're just a short name, like Sam for Samantha, or something unique like Toey for Sarah!" Mabel explains.
(The Toey for Sarah thing is because of someone I know.)
"Nicknames are for friendships…?" Pacifica asks, pondering this new information. "Wait, you want to be my friend, even after all the things I said?"
"Yup!" Mabel agrees.
"Even after what I've said? Even though I'm no longer rich?" Pacifica continues.
"I never wanted to be friends with you because you were rich." Mabel states. "Besides, I already forgave you for your actions."
Pacifica begins sorting her clothes mindlessly, her mind reeling from what Mabel said. 'She wants to be friends? But I have nothing to offer! Unless this is just a trick, meant to make me submissive to their wishes. But what she said lines up with what I've seen in movies. Do I trust her? Should I trust her? No, I can't afford to. I'll give her an opportunity to prove her honesty. Either way, I should still put my plan into effect for gaining permanent residence.'
"Do you… not like it?" Mabel asks in a semi-somber tone.
"No, no. It's fine." Pacifica reassures.
Mabel is relieved, but she doesn't fully believe Pacifica. "Alright. Just tell me if you don't feel comfortable with me using that or any nickname, 'kay?"
"Okay." Pacifica nods. The duo then starts packing, with Mabel telling stories about her summer to pass the time.
"The first real adventure this summer started when this boy I was dating turned out to be a bunch of gnomes and tried to kidnap me to make them their gnome queen forever. Luckily, Dipper saved me and we drove away, but the gnomes climbed on top of each other to make the giga-gnome and chased us. On our way back, this half-pig, half-man guy fell out of the sky and helped us defeat the gnomes."
"Really?" Pacifica asks, her tone making it clear that she didn't fully believe Mabel.
"Yeah, I even kept some beard hair." Mabel says, reaching into a pocket and grabbing a handful of beard hair.
"Ewwwww!" Pacifica complains.
Mabel laughs. "Our next adventure was when we tried to get pictures of the Gobblewonker in Lake Gravity Falls. 'Course, that turned out to be a robot designed by Mr. Old Man McGucket, so we couldn't use those pictures."
"Wait, Old Man McGucket built a giant robot?" Pacifica asks, pausing her packing to stare at Mabel.
"Yeah, apparently he built a bunch of them. Do you remember the Gideon statue that was built while Gideon owned the shack? That was a robot too, but Dipper destroyed it."
"Huh." Pacifica comments blankly before resuming packing.
"Then there was the time Dipper defeated two old people ghosts at the abandoned Dusk 2 Dawn. Apparently, the ghosts hated teenagers so when we went there with a group of teenagers… things almost didn't end well."
Pacifica shudders slightly. One ghost had been bad enough: two at the time… her respect for Dipper was growing.
"And then there was that time we fought off the zombie apocalypse. That was a fun night."
"When…?"
"The karaoke night. Turns out the best way to deal with zombies is a three-part harmony." Mabel explains.
"That's kinda weird… how did you discover that?"
"It's a sec~ret." Mabel winks before continuing her stories. "Also can't forget about when Dipper and I engaged in gladiatorial time combat to help Soos. Did you know that the future is ruled by a giant, inexplicably floating baby?"
"I- no. what?"
"Yeah, that was my first thought as well." Mabel nods sagely. "Speaking of helping Soos, we also helped him find a girlfriend… and accidentally got a homicidal AI interested in him. Dipper and I fought her off like a pro, though, so we were fine."
"Huh, it sounds like you two have had some really dangerous adventures this summer. How are you… still alive?"
"Luck and skill. Also helped that the half-pig guy trained Dipper in close combat."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Mabel laughs. "Back at the beginning of summer, he had wimpy little noodle arms; and now he has actual muscles! He punched metal things a couple times and was fine."
Pacifica hums to herself, thinking. Mabel smiles at her plan working. Her plan being, of course, to sell Dipper like a used car. He may not be perfect, but if Mabel can't get the two of them to hook up then she doesn't deserve the title of best matchmaker in Gravity Falls! Well, unless The Love God was still in town. In that case she'd only be the second best matchmaker.
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The two make good progress while Mabel tells her stories, filling three suitcases and a backpack before they hear someone approaching. They freeze, tensing as the footsteps draw closer. The person starts to open the door so Mabel and Pacifica dive behind the bed, barely hiding behind it before the door fully opens.
The same maid as early enters the room, checking over her shoulder cautiously before pulling a laundry cart behind her. The maid looks around the room, clearly noticing where the two girls are hiding as well as their packing before talking to "herself".
"It would certainly be a shame if someone were to steal another laundry cart. After the break-in either during or after the party last night, no one would notice if another laundry cart went missing. Well, back to my job with a majority of the wait-staff, cleaning up the far side of the mansion while the madam is out and master Northwest is busy making calls." The maid ducks out of the room as Mabel and Pacifica once again shoot looks at each other.
"Guess she was trustworthy." Mabel comments. Pacifica nods and returns to her train of thought before it was interrupted by the maid.
'Most of that stuff lines up with what I know and have seen Dipper do, which means she's telling the truth. But that means he's going to be more sought after: after all, he's got to have good genes to be able to fight the supernatural. That means I'm going to have to act quickly.'. Pacifica sighs, coming to a conclusion. She looks through the piles of clothes for one specific type, given to her once she learned about how marriage worked.
Her lessons had been brief, with a promise of further knowledge once she was deemed ready, but she had the basics. Marriage was a deal between two groups to connect their families, wealth, and resources. They were not for love, they were purely for benefits. If you lost your virginity to someone, you had to marry them, no matter what. Unless they were poor, of course, in which case the person you lost it with would be painted as scum and would "commit" suicide.
Pacifica's tutors promised to show how to please both men and woman in the future, but had given some minimal instructions. Pacifica ran through a mental checklist. 'Wear the special clothes, lay on the bed in such a way to enhance your body, service your partners bits, get them to finish, and then clean yourself unless trying for a baby.'.
Pacifica finds the pile of "special" clothes and reaches to grab some when she realizes Mabel is still in the room, looking curiously at her. Unwilling to risk Mabel questioning her, Pacifica fakes a cough. "Hey, Mabel? Could you get me a glass of water?"
"Sure!" Mabel says, happy to help out a friend. Mabel walks into the bathroom to grab some water, and Pacifica rushes over to the pile. She sorts the pile quickly, taking only her favorite colors and designs. After all, if she had to take and use them, they may as well be the ones she liked. Well, at least until she learned Dipper's preferences. Then she would have to follow his wishes, like a good wife.
Mabel returns with a glass of water, and the duo quickly finish packing. They load up the cart with the bags, and a few extra items, and begin rolling it out. The two reach the front door and ease their way out, keeping an eye out for guards. They hear a large of footsteps approaching on the outside of the walls.
Pacifica and Mabel peer through the gate as Axolotl666 runs by, humming music that sounds like they were on a joyride in the sky, maybe even using a jetpack. Chasing Axolotl was every guard the Northwest employed, panting and barely keeping up. The two watch in mild amusement as the last of the hired goons run past before opening the gate and begin walking the laundry cart down the drive.
They make it into the trees with ease before Mabel doubles back and waves down Axolotl. Axolotl runs around the corner once again before disappearing.
"Wait, where did they go?" Pacifica asks, confused.
"Right behind you." Axolotl answers in a fake French accent.
Pacifica and Mabel scream before slapping a hand over the others mouth to muffle themselves. Axolotl slaps a hand over their own mouth to keep from laughing too loud.
"Thanks for the distraction." Mabel says once she recovers from the scare. "Also, that was kind of a jerk move."
"Yeah, no problem." Axolotl answers the first part and blatantly ignoring the second. "Well, the mamma bird is going to be worrying about me here shortly, so I need to head out."
"Bye!" Mabel waves.
"Goodbye. And , uh, thanks." Pacifica says.
Axolotl waves their thanks off. "Don't worry about it." They throw a mock salute and walk off into the woods.
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Mabel and Pacifica make it back to the shack with ease, and Pacifica unpacks her clothes. She puts the special ones aside in a secret box in her closet, holding out one last hope that she won't have to use it. Maybe if she does really well working, Pacifica won't need to take desperate measures.
Pacifica joins the pines for dinner, and is then instructed by Stan on her responsibilities going forward.
"You'll mostly be cleaning and restocking." Stan explains, showing her around the storeroom and cleaning closet. "If it gets really we might have ya jump on the registers, but I'd wanna give you some more time to adjust."
"Thanks, S…" Pacifica trails off, trying to figure out what to call him.
"Call me Mr. Pines, kid."
"Thanks Mr. Pines."
"Eh, don't worry about it."
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Pacifica wakes up, ready to put in enough work to not have to resort to desperate measures. She starts out restocking the gift shop and counting inventory. At least, until she trips and drops a box of snow globes onto a pile of fliers.
Stan told her to clean it up, which she did to the best of her ability. Unfortunately, she had never used a mop before, and proceeded to knock a box of bobble heads onto the floor, tangling their springs. Stan assigns Soos to help her clean up, and give a little on-the-job training.
"Alright girl-dude, when you clean, you gotta treat the mop like an extension of your body. It also helps if you make sound effects, like hwatcha! Hi-ya! Hee-ya!" Soos swings the mop around like a pole arm, barely avoiding knocking over several boxes.
Stan walks in during the last seconds of Soos's lesson and clears his throat. "Alright, ignore him and take these signs out to the woods. Point 'em towards the shack and nail 'em to a tree."
Pacifica nods, uncertain. She eventually agrees, and spends the afternoon hammering signs up in the forest. Pacifica works up a sweat, and chips two finger nails. She walks back to the shack with pride for a job well done, carrying the few signs she couldn't get put up. Stan was standing on the porch, looking towards the woods, and visibly relaxed when he saw Pacifica.
"Hey kid, where were ya?" Stan asks gruffly, not concerned about her wellbeing in the slightest.
"Putting up signs?" Pacifica answers questioningly. "It was hard work. I chipped some nails." She adds proudly.
Stan pulls a face that wordlessly communicates his feelings of, 'uff da, it's going to take a while for her to adjust.'. Stan had made a calculation for time based on Dipper, which meant he expected her to finish in an hour or so. "Alright." He sighs, "Come inside and eat some food. I'll uh, I'll have Dipper tutor you tomorrow. Lemme put those extra signs away for you quick."
Pacifica's mind is kicked into overdrive by Stan's face. 'I thought I was doing fine! But clearly I'm not! I-I'm going to have to resort to that! Alright, calm down Pacifica. We'll do it tomorrow. After… lunch? Yeah, the shack shuts down early on Friday. I'll do it after three. This'll work. This'll work! I hope this works.'
Pacifica effectively floats through the night, barely aware of eating dinner and watching TV before bed. The next morning, before breakfast, she gathers her special clothes and sets them aside. After breakfast, she follows Dipper around the shack and learns how to work.
.
.
After helping close the shack down, Pacifica turns to Dipper.
"Hey, could you come to my room in fifteen minutes? I have something I want to discuss." Pacifica asks with a false steadiness in her voice, inaudible unless you were an expert conman.
"Sure." Dipper agrees, valiantly trying to ignore the inherent embarrassment associated with being alone with a girl in her room. "I have something I wanted to ask you too."
Pacifica smiles. "Thanks." She turns around and heads toward her room, with her smile failing as she walks. As she changes clothes, her nerves start to act up. Pacifica knows she could still change her mind, not follow through with her plan, but that would put her future at risk. The time slips away rapidly, leaving Pacifica shocked with how quickly someone knocks on her door.
"Pacifica? You wanted to talk?" Dipper asks through the door.
"Y-yeah." Pacifica squeaks before centering herself. "Yeah. The door is unlocked: you can come in."
Dipper furrows his brow. It almost sounded like Pacifica's voice was quivering, but that didn't line up with what he knew of her. He shrugs. "Alright, I'm coming i…" He trails off as he opens the door and sees Pacifica. His jaw drops, and he spins in place and closes the door.
"Pacifica? W-what was that?" Dipper stammers through a massive voice crack and a brilliantly red face.
"Dipper? Why'd you leave?" Pacifica asks in genuine confusion, and another, happier emotion.
"I, uh, I'll talk to you later!" Dipper yells before rushing off to ponder life for a while.
Pacifica sighs, changing back into her normal clothes and hiding the specialized outfit with the others. She wanders aimlessly for a while, alone with her thoughts. 'Well, now I really ruined things. I should have known he wouldn't want me! I can't offer anything: no dowry, no family, nothing! I'll get kicked out, and then… and then I'll either become someone I despise, or end up dead.'
What finally draws Pacifica out of her spiral is a pair of fingers being snapped in front of her face. Pacifica realizes two things. First: she's on the roof somehow. Second: Wendy is in front of her.
"What's up, bud?" Wendy asks, stamping down on her personal feelings about Pacifica and offering emotional support. After all, Wendy understood the pain of losing a parent.
Pacifica sighs heavily. "I just ruined everything." She admits depressively.
"It can't be that bad." Wendy reassures before trying to make Pacifica laugh. "What, you turn down Dipper's picnic invitation?"
"He wanted to go on a picnic with me?" Pacifica asks in shock.
"Yeah, the kid's a little in love with you." Wendy explains. "I'm kinda glad he moved on, things were a little awkward for a while there."
"Dipper's in love with me?" Pacifica repeats. "No, he can't be." Pacifica states with certainty.
Wendy looks at Pacifica in confusion. "I don't know, I know what the kid looks like when he's crushing on someone. What makes you so certain he doesn't love you?"
"I-I-I, uh, I-um…" Pacifica says, torn between not wanting to admit her actions to what sounded like a potential rival and wanting help from an older woman.
"Dude, it can't be that bad." Wendy reassures. "I can't offer advice unless ya tell me what happened."
"I- fine." Pacifica sighs. "I tried to seduce Dipper to secure my place in the household, but he ran away as soon as he saw me."
Wendy blinks, flash banged by Pacifica's words. "Uh-"
Pacifica is on a roll now. "I know I have almost no financial value, but am I really so ugly nobody will look at me?"
"Whoa, hey, don't say that about yourself." Wendy says. "You probably just surprised him is all. And what do you mean by not having financial value? Besides, despite what Stan likes to pretend, he really is just an old softy. He wouldn't kick you out."
Pacifica blinks. "But I can't offer any money. I've been cut from the inheritance, so the only thing I have to offer is my body. And I offered it to Dipper, but he didn't take it."
Wendy keeps a calm façade, while on the inside she is screeching at whoever gave Pacifica such incorrect information. "Kid, love is more than just money and looks. True love is when, I don't know, you just enjoy spending time with someone. It's when you just want to hang out with someone forever. It's, I don't know, Mabel would be a better source for this. Fair warning: if she starts talking about love she'll talk your ear off for, like, seven hours."
"Huh." Pacifica says, comparing this new information with everything she knew.
Wendy looks down at the ground, and sees Dipper looking around. She has the vaguest of ideas of who he's looking for, so she whistles to get his attention. Pacifica doesn't notice until Dipper slides onto the ground next to her.
"Hey Wendy, have you seen – Pacifica?" Dipper asks, noticing the ex-heiress.
"I'll let you two talk." Wendy says, jumping onto the nearby pine tree and sliding down it. She walks over to her bike and rides off, leaving two people who are both horrible at the whole romance thing to talk.
.
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Dipper and Pacifica sit awkwardly for a few minutes before Pacifica gathers enough courage to talk.
"So,uh…" at the same time, Dipper starts talking.
"What happene-" They stop talking simultaneously, then both offer to let the other one go first at the same time. The duo start laughing, partially dispelling the awkwardness.
"So, what happened earlier?" Dipper asks cautiously. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to!" He's quick to reassure her. "I just want to know what was going on, to see if I can help."
"It's something my parents taught me, probably just another lie." Pacifica says bitterly. At Dipper's questioning look, she continues. "I was taught that marriage was solely for gain, whether monetary of physical, and that love was a myth spread by the poor to explain irrational decisions."
Dipper groans empathetically. "Oh, Pacifica." He hugs her supportingly before realizing what he had done and pulling away. "Sorry."
Pacifica flushes and mumbles, "Don't worry about it."
"We've got to help you learn about the real world." Dipper comments.
"M-maybe you could teach me?" Pacifica asks. "I-I mean, only if you want to."
"Sure, that sounds great." Dipper agrees.
"And I heard something about a picnic?"
"Oh yeah, the picnic. Do you… wanna go on that picnic?" Dipper asks awkwardly.
Pacifica smiles weakly. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."
.
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Dipper grabs a picnic basket and escorts Pacifica to a nearby clearing on a slight hill. The two talk in-depth about everything, about their hopes and dreams, about their goals. They joke and laugh about nothing. As the duo watch the sunset, Pacifica decides to ask an important question
"Hey, so, does this mean we're… dating?" Pacifica inquires with a slight blush.
"Uh… if you want to?" Dipper says, phrasing it like a question and also blushing.
"Yeah, ok." Pacifica says, grabbing Dipper's hand.
The two sit in peace for a while. As the sun gets lower in the sky, so does Pacifica's head, starting to rest on Dipper.
"Hey Pacifica?" Dipper asks. "The main reason you were so… forward today was because you were afraid you were gonna be kicked out, right?"
Pacifica hums in agreement, tensing slightly.
"Well then, I promise you that you'll never get kicked out." Dipper promises proudly. Pacifica smiles, and Dipper realizes he could watch that smile for hours.
.
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Underneath the shack, a fuel gauge showing half-full and a note reading 'Min fill' showing a three-quarters full fuel tank. Several hours earlier, the operator of the machine had disappeared into the unknown.
He returns in the early morning, carting drums full of nuclear waste down into the secret basement. Unbeknownst to him, this would give the losers known as the government their chance to move.
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Completed: 3/1/2024 Words: 7,164 Written using a pirated copy of Microsoft Word 2007
AN2: *looks at chapter* wow, that was kinda dark. Whoops! Ah well, I think we all knew this was a possibility when I combined Technoblade, the DSMP, and Gravity Falls. And here I used to think this would be a mostly happy fic, similar to Gravity Falls, with a few moments of darkness, also like Gravity Falls.
So, funny story, I finished this chapter at like, 1am March first, before sending it to my beta. I had a Calculus 2 test at 9am. Am I sacrificing my grades for this? Maybe. Probably. I don't really care though. It's worth it. (Update on the math test: it either went really well or really poorly, I can't tell.)
So, that scene. You know what scene I'm talking about. I originally planned to have a bit more explicit content, but I didn't feel comfortable writing it. I'm gonna stoke my ego here a bit: I am a merciful god, worship me as so! I could have doomed you to cursed content, but instead I saved you!
Alright, ego trip over. I'm gonna complain about timeline here. In Not What He Seems, it is a Saturday. Tale of Two Stans takes place the same evening. The next episode, D&d&md has its first day on a Tuesday, where Mabel says that the portal events happened yesterday, aka Monday. Unless Mabel is referring to the weekend as "yesterday", it doesn't make sense.
Do I feel like the Dipcifica is a little fast? Yeah, I would have preferred to build up to it slowly, but I don't have time to slow down. I could have waited until after Not What he Seems and Tale of Two Stans, but after that there's really not a lot of time before the end. Heck, Northwest Mansion Mystery is technically supposed to lead directly into Not What He Seems, So I had to add a few days.
[ngl chat, he had me in the first half.]
Special thanks to Sora for grinding out the beta so efficiently: the draft was finished this morning and Sora got it done before 7:30!