Hello there.

So, I don't know if anyone remembers this story, but I hope a few people do. It's one I never really forgot. A while back, more than a year ago now, maybe even two, I got an idea for a new piece to add to it. I started typing, and within a couple days I had something in the neighborhood of 80 pages written. Then I stopped, surveyed it, realized that was insane and that I hate it, and I workshopped it a bit to make it less crazy. That time it clocked in around 100 pages.

Since then I have edited, deleted, rewritten, reread, and reworked it to the point that I think there were moments I forgot it was something that only existed in my head. The truth is it probably still could use a lot of work, but here we are.

This story has been a place I go to when I need a break from reality. Working on it is something that I always find comforting, and I hope it can be that for some of you, too. In the fifty years or so that I have been working on it, it seems to have taken on a life of its own.

I finished the latest round of edits on this about nine months ago. I've been sitting on it since then, but I think it's as ready as it's going to get. At last count, it's now in the neighborhood of twenty-six chapters. I'll post them probably once a weekday until I run out. Is it over after that? Maybe, but maybe not. Maybe I'll add to it again in another 10 years. Who knows. If you've been with it this long, I thank you. There are better things to read, but I appreciate you trying this. As always, thanks to my beta, whose screenname I've genuinely forgotten as I don't call her by that name anymore. But read her story Fae to Fae. That name I do remember.

So, for this - I've kind of started to think of this as a stand alone novel or novella in the Untitled Lost Girl Project series, I guess. It's a sort of contained thing. For a while we will be working primarily from Lauren's POV. When that changes, it should be pretty obvious. I'll explain more things as we go, and happily answer any questions you may have.

I apologize for typos. You do know how I love them.

Welcome back! Hope you enjoy.

Lauren woke up to the sound of her cell phone alarm, insistent and jarring. She was disoriented for a moment – it had been a long time since her phone had woken her. Typically, Bo was up first and the sounds of her moving around were enough to rouse Lauren, allowing her to shut of the alarm before it sounded. She was used to the slow dawning of awareness, the comfort of hearing another person in the house, of life around her. She reached over and silenced the offending noise, then rolled onto her back and gave a slight stretch. As she inhaled, she noted she couldn't smell coffee brewing.

She untangled herself from her sheets and stretched again, vaguely wondering where Bo was, her subconscious craving her wife and the routine of her normal days. She couldn't hear the shower running, didn't hear Bo moving around in the living area or kitchen. Maybe she took Zeus out? She walked out of the bedroom.

The living area was quiet and dim, the morning light casting weak shadows from the furniture. Everything was still, as if not yet awake. The air felt unruffled, with no echoes of movement etched across its surface. Puzzled, Lauren walked towards the empty coffeepot and saw a scrawled note beside it, the handwriting pointed and angular.

Lo,

Work, sorry, back soon.

B

Lauren read the words through twice with a slight frown. Bo had been called out for work in the middle of the night once or twice before, but not often. It had been at least six months or more since it had last happened. That night had been a homicide, Lauren remembered, though the details were a bit fuzzy. The note was brief, clipped, not containing Bo's usual warmth. She must have left quickly. With a slight sadness, Lauren processed what this likely meant. Leaving suddenly in the middle of the night, the hastily scrawled note, no mention of a timeframe for her return…Bo was likely at a crime scene right now.

She debating texting her, but knew that if Bo was at a crime scene she was busy. And this was part of the job, right? Bo always said things like that. And yet…the last time she had been called out in the middle of the night Lauren remembered the hollow, haunted shadows under Bo's eyes, the heaviness in the way she moved. It hadn't affect her that badly, not much ever seemed to, but still…Lauren hated it. With a sigh, Lauren set the note aside and went to get in the shower.

Lauren set about getting ready for her day. She showered, took her time on her makeup, made the bed, and plugged in Bo's wireless headphones on her side of the bed. Once all her normal morning tasks were done, she refilled Zeus' water bowl, sent a quick text confirming the dog walker would be by to let him out later, and transferred a load of laundry to the dryer. She was killing time, she knew it, but she wanted to see Bo before she went to the hospital. However, as more time ticked by, she finally accepted that she would have to catch up with her later, and left.

Despite all the extra things she had done, as Lauren traveled to work she noted that she had never bothered to make coffee. It was strange; for years she had brewed morning coffee for herself, but more often than not Bo handled that these days. It was strange how fast routines set themselves into place. Regardless, her brain quickly reminded her that, habit or not, she would need a jolt.

As she walked through the halls of the hospital a short time later she noted that there were a lot of police officers milling around. Police officers weren't necessarily out of place here – she even knew a few. But today…today there seemed to be more.

She walked into the cafeteria area. Definitely more cops. Cops littering the entire area, in fact. Her eyes scanned across the room, the officers seeming more concentrated towards one area. Her eyes hit the table, and sitting in the midst of the chaos – Bo, leaned over a legal pad, a laptop open near here, plain clothes officers huddled nearby as they worked as a group.

Lauren hesitated. Bo was clearly busy, but it felt strange to be this close to her and not at least acknowledge her. She stood in line, glancing over at Bo a few more times while debating what she should do.

"Hey, Dr. Lewis."

The voice belonged to a baby-faced officer Lauren had met a few times. Bo had explained that newer officers sometimes got "babysitting duty" with defendants who had been admitted to the hospital for various reasons. As a result, Lauren had met and knew a few, though the name of this particular one was escaping her at the moment. Her brain scrabbled…she had seen him a few weeks before, he had been there with someone who was charged with driving under the influence, she thought. Officer…officer…

"Hey…" she tried not to make a show of reading his last name from the silver plate on his shirt, "Officer…White. How are you?"

He smiled, his cheeks coloring, clearly having noticed her glance at his name and her hesitation, but Lauren noted that he looked a bit rumpled and tired. "I'm…you know," he answered, gesturing broadly at the crowd around them.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Before he could answer, she felt a touch on her arm, and turned to see Bo. "Hey," Bo said.

"Hey," Lauren answered. "This place is a madhouse."

Bo nodded, and glanced at the young officer. "Yeah, we've got a lot going on. White, do you know my wife?"

The officer nodded, smiling. "Yeah, we've met a few times." Before he could continue, Lauren heard static and a garbled voice coming from the area of his shoulder. He leaned over and mumbled something back into the device. Bo looked at him, expectantly. "They think they have something."

Bo nodded quickly. "Keep me posted."

The officer nodded back, give Lauren a quick smile, and dashed off.

"What the hell happened?' Lauren asked.

Bo took a deep breath and ran a hand over her face. "It's…been a night." She answered. Before she could continue on, another officer walked over to them.

"Hey, Bo, sorry to interrupt, they need you for a second."

Bo cast a quick apologetic glance at Lauren gave the "one second" gesture, heading back to the table. She leaned over the laptop, reading something, and then started typing some changes. Lauren moved forward in line, ordering her coffee and waiting. After adding the milk and replacing the lid, she walked slightly closer to where Bo was working, taking a few sips as she waited.

After a minute had passed, Bo straightened her back and moved back towards Lauren. "Sorry," she said. "It's just a little chaotic right now. Why are you here so early?"

Lauren quirked an eyebrow at her. "I'm not early."

Bo reached for Lauren's wrist, moving it so she could see the time. "Oh shit." She sighed deeply and turned back to the still within earshot officers. "Okay, I have to get to court."

One of the officers at the table who looked to be of higher rank nodded at her. "We've got this, we're almost done, we'll get it printed. Do you need to look over it before we take it to the Judge?'

"No, I think it'll be fine, just print it and go, I'll deal with the rest later."

While she was talking, another uniformed officer ran up. "Hey, Henderson said he has court this morning, but…you know."

Bo nodded. "Yeah, a few of the guys here do, don't worry about it, I'll handle it." She turned back to Lauren. "I am so sorry, I have to go, like, ten minutes ago."

Lauren nodded. "Do you need a ride?"

"I'll take you," a nearby officer offered.

"I need to go home and change, can you wait for me while I do? My car is back at the scene." The officer nodded, and Bo turned back to Lauren. "I am so sorry that I'm running off."

Lauren nodded. "No problem, go, we'll talk later."

Bo gave a grateful smile and turned, leaving with the officer. "Thanks, guys, I'll see you in bit," she called to the officers over her shoulder as they left.

Lauren took a sip of her coffee and turned to leave the cafeteria, headed towards her office.

As the morning progressed, the details of what had happened the night before filtered to Lauren. Two kids, a boy and a girl, and an adult woman, their mother, blunt force trauma, four officers injured… Lauren heard varying versions of the events. The man was the children's father, no he was their stepfather, no he was the father of one but not the other…he and the woman were engaged, no married, no they had never met… The conflicted stories came fast and thick, and after a few hours Lauren was barely tracking them anymore.

By 11, a new patient was brought to Lauren's floor, surrounded by police officers with grim expressions. It didn't take long to hazard a guess as to what part he played in the morning's horror story.

He was beaten up, but largely unharmed. The officers who had arrested him hadn't been gentle, but he'd given them a good fight as well. Nothing seemed significantly wrong with him, but given the severity of the case the hospital was proceeding with caution. Armed police with barrel chests and shoulders vaguely the width of an office building were posted outside of his room.

He said nothing to Lauren when she treated him, didn't look her in the eye when she asked him basic questions. She finished what she could quickly, just wanting to get out of the room. That was when he said he heard voices. That's when he gave the smirk that she couldn't get out of her head. Lauren did her due diligence on his claim. She asked a litany of standard screening questions, made her observations and notes, and called for a psych consult.

Later in the day she was standing at the nurses' station, making notes, when she heard the two officers outside the door talking with one another.

"They better get this guy," the one on the left said. He kept his voice respectfully low, but it's deep pitch made the sound heavy as it rumbled in the hall.

"It'll get press. They'll take it seriously," the one on the right responded. His voice wasn't quite as deep as the first, with a slight accent that Lauren couldn't place.

The left one shrugged, unconvinced. "It depends on who they assign to it. You know how some of them are."

"I heard Bo is working on it."

The left officer took a deep breath, visibly relaxing. "Thank God," he muttered. "She'll do it right."

"What's her deal?" the right one asked.

Lauren's ears perked up as she kept her head down, trying to pretend she wasn't listening, even though she knew they weren't pay attention to her.

"If you do your work, you won't have problems with her. She's good, but she expects you to be on your shit, too."

"No, I know that, I mean…what's her deal? Is she seeing someone?"

The left officer laughed. "You think you're going to wow her with your two-inch wonder?"

"Don't be jealous just because it's twice the size of yours."

"You should brainstorm with White, he's trying to hit on her wife."

"Wife, huh?"

"Yeah, that's what I heard. Married not too long ago."

"Alright, but, like, how serious is it?"

Lauren felt like she wanted to crawl under the nurses' station. Without turning around, knowing they wouldn't know who she was if she didn't, she headed down the hall, ignoring the rest of the conversation.

As the day wore on, Lauren repeatedly found herself checking her phone. She wanted to text Bo, but every time she started to, she stopped herself. Bo was busy. Still, a text wouldn't hurt, right? She could ignore it if she was busy.

Lauren: Hey, babe, just thinking about you. Hope you're doing alright.

She put the phone on her desk, keeping the message open while she worked, waiting to see the three dots appear. None came.

A few more hours passed. Lauren continued to check her phone, but found no texts from Bo. Should she text again? What would the point be? She hasn't had time to get to the first message, she won't have time for this one, either. She sighed. Today was just…weird. And awful. There was talk of making the ER staff that had dealt with the first three victims go through counseling before they were cleared to work again because the injuries had been so gruesome. There was no word on if any of them would even survive. An officer who had been shot was still touch and go. A second was critical, but stable.

Lauren hated this. Her job didn't intersect with Bo's all the time, but when it did…she really just hated this. She had an incomplete picture with only enough filled in to make her worry. She just needed to hear her voice. If she could just hear Bo's voice…she just needed to hear her. She needed to know she was okay. Hell, Lauren didn't even know when she'd left – Bo had to be running on pure adrenaline at this stage.

Did she have time to take her coffee? No, honestly, she didn't, and anyway it was after four. What good would coffee do other than make it harder for her to sleep tonight?

She looked at the phone again. Still no message from Bo. She sighed and reopened the text thread.

Lauren: I know today is an awful mess. I don't want to bug you, but I need to know you're okay. I love you.

Lauren looked at the message a few times. It sounded…needy. Clingy. And it felt accurate. She hit "send" and set the phone aside.

About an hour and half later, Lauren's phone dinged on her desk. With more speed than her pride would let her acknowledge, she grabbed the phone and opened her messages.

Bo: Hey, I'm sorry about today. I'm okay. I'm going to be late tonight, don't worry about dinner for me. I love you, too.

Lauren sat back in her chair and read the message. She felt uneasy, and she didn't like it. She sometimes felt like she knew Bo better than she knew herself. And even through these simple words, these clipped sentences…or maybe because of them…she felt Bo's stress.

As much as she knew she shouldn't, she began to dissect the message. The beginning with an apology…moving immediately into a practicality. It was all vintage Bo, it sounded like Bo, or at least what it should sound like if someone was imitating Bo. But it wasn't…Bo. It wasn't warm. It wasn't soft and comforting. It wasn't heartfelt in the way Lauren craved.

Was there anything wrong with it? No, not really. It ended with an 'I love you,' but…

This was ridiculous. It was a text message from a stressed-out person on a busy day. And she was, what, upset that Bo hadn't been more expansive? Didn't tell her she was pretty or something? Was she really that selfish?

God, she hated this.