Disclaimer:

I solemnly swear that the literature and works of the Harry Potter Verse belong to JK Rowling, Bloomberg and Warner Bros. The only thing I own are the one-shot ideas that popped into my head and whatever OCs I would create for them. This is a work of pure fiction made solely for fun, constructive reviews will be welcomed, flames will be ignored. Any references to characters in real-life or fiction are purely coincidental. If I could make money out of my ideas, it would be nice...

Mischief Managed Damn It!

Title: An Unspeakable Parenting (Working Title)

Posted Date: May 17 2024

Tags: Tactical Harry, Mentor Saul Croaker, Mad Hatter Unspeakables, Crack Story, Manipulative Dumbledore, Sirius out of Azkaban early

Possible Challenges: Fake Prophecy, Ravenclaw / Hufflepuff Harry, Multiple Lordships, Junior Unspeakable

People in need of drinks / therapy: Hogwarts Staff / Students, Amelia Bones, Death Eaters, Cornelius

As someone heading the department that handled the mysteries of the wizarding world, Saul Croaker had seen plenty in his lifetime through his work and his way of life.

He was known to go by a number of names over the years as a result of his work such as Head Unspeakable, The Hand of the Veil, The Cloaked Reaper, That Damned Unspeakable (according to frustrated department heads), The Ghost of Mysteries (according to Aurors who kept jumping around him), and a certain favourite of his, God Damnit Croaker! (According to one Amelia Bones who would proceed to curse him out because of his stunts that he would pull in her office.)

No one could determine his real age, especially since he had an ability not unlike that of a Metamorphmagus that allowed him to change his general appearance. His behaviour did not help matters since he could be as serious as a drill sergeant or as chaotically maniac in the face of new mysteries. Of the few who do know, they would still marvel at him being one of the rare few who was as old if not older than Griselda Marchbanks, the old bat who led the Department of Education. That also meant he was older than Albus Dumbledore, thus giving him some leeway in dealing with the man who may act like a gentle grandfather but was one who he would butt heads with over matters that did not concern the busybody bumblebee.

He had seen the aftermath of the Grindelwald War, and had just gone through the mess that was the British Civil Blood War started by that wizard named Voldemort, and he had seen a lot of craziness in his life that came all the hijinks and accidents that can come about from magic. It would take a lot to get Unspeakables to lose their composure since they were more or less senitized to all that could go wrong with magic involved, such as the occasional cursed death or child abuse the DMLE would send their way, a building with blood wards designed to suck out the blood and life force of those stuck inside as their bodies become mummified, or the occasional mishaps of spell creation that Saint Mungos would have problems fixing and need their help, like the one unusual magical accident that had the subject spouting multiple tentacles from the arms and legs while having a penguin's head, squawking away in frustration as they attempted to fix him.

That was quite the funny incident in his opinion since the person in question kept trying to speak about the superiority of penguins for some reason.

So when Saul Croaker came into office a week after the civil war and found his colleagues surrounding what appeared to be a baby laying on the table, Saul merely raised an eyebrow while coming towards them. "Is there a reason we have a child in our department?"

"The child appeared in a burst of light this morning when Number 23 was doing their rounds." One of the hooded wizards answered while a couple of others were inspecting the child in question with their wands being waved about, and a third seemed rather taken with the child by poking the child with a finger that the child grabbed with their small hands, a sight that would have regular folks gaping at the utter ridiculousness of an Unspeakable playing with a child. "We have been checking our wards to see if there were readings."

"Anything we can use to identify, Number 18?" Saul asked the cloaked member who consulted a document they had made earlier.

"The child is a male, one year and 3 months old. He has apparently been abused recently. Bruises on the neck and arm, malnutrition and a rash from unclean diapers." Despite the monotone voice being delivered, Saul knew that Number 18 was angry at the abuse of the child, and truthfully he too was feeling a little murderous. Magical children were supposed to be sacred since the population numbers were low in Britain, and there were very few family bloodlines left after the two wars and the usual infighting that came from inheritance battles. It was one of the few things that the major factions in the British Wizarding World could agree on, children were off limits and anyone hurting them should expect retribution.

"A muggleborn?"

"I do not believe so, sir." Number 18 looked up at that point. "We have detected 3 binding limiters on his core. One is a standard parent limiter that would dissolve slowly over the years, but the other two are more worrisome. The first one is tied to a blood ward so most of the magic would be directed to protect whoever is living beneath it. The second though matches a binding used in the past, meant for only Rank A and S criminals."

"What?" The flat tone and his eyes slightly glowing showed the man's disbelief and growing anger at the news.

"The latter binding could be found in the scroll from Greece." The agent answered before pausing. "One other reason why this cannot be a muggleborn." The agent motioned for Saul to come closer to the table, prompting the others to move to allow space. The one playing with the young boy appeared reluctant to move, but Saul waved for them to carry on and leaned over to see only the boy with some black hair and a wicked scar on his forehead.

A scar that he knew quite well given all that was happening for the past few days.

"This is?" Number 18 nodded.

"Presenting the child of the late Lily Potter nee Evans and James Potter. This is Harry Potter." Saul had to admit, he was a little surprised to see the now famous child whose name was spoken in Britain and likely being spread to the rest of the world for stopping the dreaded dark lord named Voldemort, an act that he clearly believed was done by the parents, or more likely Lily who used to be one of his best agents in the Department of Mysteries. He and his crew had been interested in examining the child after hearing about how the dark lord was defeated, but Albus Dumbledore had grabbed him quickly and hid him with the excuse of the Dark Lord's servants still around to potentially harm him, and got himself the guardianship of the boy shortly after with the boy supposedly hidden with his relatives to be safe.

Well, that last point was certainly wrong.

"Sir, we have also discovered a Class 5 entity in his scar." Number 18 spoke and that definitely got Croaker's attention. "It is inert for now, but it is a small piece of a soul that has shown signs of splintering off the main soul after experiencing extreme trauma. In addition to the bindings already on him, there appears to be a seal designed to keep the shard to the child. If we do not remove it soon, it will start to attach itself and act as a soul leech."

"Any magic signatures?" Saul had a good idea what may be found there but wanted confirmation.

"The soul shard is a match to the dark wizard named Voldemort. Based on the size and the state it is in, the wizard had likely dabbled in the dark arts to extend his lifespan. Possibly the types involving Soul Magics." Saul frowned heavily at that bit. "As for the spells found on the boy, the binding spells and the sealing spell have the same magical signature."

"And?" Saul raised an eyebrow at the pause.

"That signature belongs to Albus Dumbledore." Number 18 spoke quickly but firmly, as though they wanted to get the worst over with. And they have the right idea as Saul's mouth curled into a sneer and his eyes narrowed at the name. The man was always messing with matters that were not in his job scope or even concerned him at all, believing in some nefarious "Greater Good" purpose that he would never bother explaining about. His clashes with Saul often resulted in attempts to try and force the DoM to listen to the Wizengamot even when they answered only to the crown as per the ancient treaty. Dumbledore was also one of the types that always "borrowed" items that he had no access or right to take, and Saul had a hell of a time keeping him from coming into the department to play itchy fingers. His dislike for the man was quite well known in the department, and the only reason he remained neutral in the fight is because he hated Voldemort equally for trying to attack the department and to have Rookwood marked.

Dumbledore was also the one who had forced his agent Lily into hiding when the war escalated, and he had no idea what had happened to her until the news broke about Harry's defeat of Voldemort. So hearing his name was effectively a big trigger for him.

"Director, this letter came with the baby, sir." One of the agents held up a letter that they had scanned thoroughly for spells and possible harmful potions soaked in the material. Saul reached for the letter and looked at the content, his heart going heavy at the possibility that he was likely the last correspondent for this writer.

Dear Saul,

No doubt you and the others have spent 10 to 30 minutes casting whatever detection spells you have in your repertoire to make sure this is safe. If I were in a pranking mood, this would be the one that would amuse me.

To be honest, I am really hoping that this letter does not come into play, even as I write this while watching my baby playing with his toys, but with the events that are happening around me and James, I am not leaving anything to chance. Constant vigilance with all the bells and whistles, Alastor Moody would know better than anyone.

First and foremost, if this letter is actually being read by you with the other items placed before you and more importantly my son, that means the worst case scenario has taken place, that being my dear husband James and I being dead from an attack by Voldemort and betrayal from someone we thought to be a dear friend, and despite the arrangements made, my son Harry would be left on the doorstep of the Dursleys, a muggle family related to me by my once sister Petunia. A family that we have stated in both our written wills and orb recordings that they are never allowed to take custody of our son.

The reason for this precaution is this war, but more importantly, Dumbledore's unusual behaviour and actions going about the war. You know of my worries, and how I have been trying to find proof of a prophecy that he claimed to be given during a job interview with the Sherry filled fraud of a Seer. I want to take my son away from this country, yet James and by extension Dumbledore always seem to dissuade me somehow, an act that I think I may be charmed against my will to follow.

Anyway, Dumbledore has been acting weird and as of this writeup, recently started persuading us to cast a Fidelius Charm on the house we will be hiding in, a spell that involves a Secret Keeper. I will state this right here in this letter that our TRUE Secret Keeper for the future hiding place is Peter Pettigrew. Sirius Orion Black, the oath-sworn godfather of my son, has agreed to play the decoy to ensure the safety of Peter. If this works as it should, there will be a copy of our memories about the two placements. I am also including documentation to make sure everything's not lost.

Another thing worth noting is that aside from us, Frank and Alice are also in hiding for the same reason as us, supposedly because they are also targets for You-Know-Who. They are secondary guardians for Harry in the event Sirius is compromised in some manner, but if you are reading this, something must have happened to them to not be able to take care of Harry. I am hoping they are safe but this war is messed up.

Maybe I am being too paranoid, but I know that Dumbledore tends to keep secrets close to his chest and not give them out unless we twist his arm, and even then, it would likely be a half-truth at best which could lead to more harm. And recent meetings had me believing that Dumbledore has designs for our baby boy. He has been focusing a lot on Harry and Neville Longbottom with the visits and I do not like the look in his eyes when he looks at Harry. He has also left books for Alice and I to look at, books I believe came from the DOM that he had "borrowed" and have the same theme involving saving the child with the price of losing one's life. I do not like where this is going, and I will personally find a different method of saving Harry without losing my life or James's.

I understand this is a lot to ask of you, but I can't think of anyone else who could better prepare Harry for possible dangers in the future. James has declared Sirius Black to be the godfather, but let's be honest, the man is a hothead and immature at both the best, and the worst, of times. If he is not dead but for some reason unable to take care of Harry, I hope you could raise him in our stead. I did put in some paperwork on the sly that should reflect your name if for some reason Harry is not with any of the stated guardians. Hopefully by the time you get this letter, the paperwork will be filed.

You should also be obtaining my studies on the Dark Mark around the same time as the paperwork, updated to the point of my death. I have known for a while that Dumbledore had his spies on the other side, but I have only been able to gain access to someone that I did not realise was one such spy. My old friend, Severus Snape, had evidently joined the Death Eaters around our last year of Hogwarts, and previously approached me to warn me about the potential attack on my family, although he was more focused on getting me out instead of James and Harry. I had to stun him to study the Dark Mark and then obliviate his memories to ensure he did not know what I have done. What I have found is quite significant, it proves my theory that the Dark Mark is a bastardised creation of the Protean Charm and the Royal Seal used in the Asian Empire for their soldiers. There is more in my notes, but it shows that the Death Eaters cannot be compelled in any manner to receive the Dark Mark, they must want it to take hold.

Thinking about it though, it was shortly after this that my attempts to leave Britain were constantly stopped. I do not know if Severus had approached Dumbledore or he found out about it, but I had been stuck and unable to leave until they started the idea of using the Fidelius.

If all goes well, this letter will not see the light of day, and I hope to be working on projects again and raising my son. But if not, I want to say that it was an honour to serve and protect Britain alongside you, my mentor and confidant.

Lily Potter nee Evans

Unspeakable 42

"Damn it, Lily." Saul muttered out the name as he lowered the letter and rubbed the bridge of his nose with a bit more fondness and sadness than expected from the normally rational man. He had children of course, followed by grandchildren and great grandchildren so his line was somewhat secured, but Lily held a special place in his heart given how she looked at magic with different eyes and brought about many of the advancements they had without breaking her morals. She showed she had both the power and the intellect to back up her work, and Saul really enjoyed seeing her trash some of the pure-bloods and Dumbledore when she was at work under her cloak. And unless he was much mistaken, she could potentially be his great granddaughter descended from a Squib that his rather foolish son had thrown out once.

Regarding Sirius Black, Saul had his suspicions. The man was recently accused of selling out the Potters to Voldemort, and later involved with killing Peter Pettigrew along with 12 muggles. He was then sent to Azkaban relatively quickly, but Saul knew from his surveillance that there was no public or closed trial for him. Now armed with the knowledge that Sirius Black was the godfather of Harry Potter and Peter Pettigrew was the actual Secret Keeper, the latter's death could be attributed to Sirius losing his composure over the loss, even if the man was foolish enough to go on his own and end up thrown into Azkaban.

And somehow among all of this, Harry Potter fell through the cracks, and Dumbledore got his hands on him as a result of that.

A pressure descended in the room that brought everyone's attention to their boss who was leaking magic from his body and raising his head to show his narrowed eyes glowing brightly. "Number 48, I want you to grab four others and perform an audit on the library room. I don't care if the item is a scroll or a shopping list, I want to know if anything has gone missing over the past couple of decades. Once done, perform a trace to determine their locations. I will determine which ones to perform a recalling ritual later." The cloaked member nodded and moved while grabbing two others along the way.

"Number 31, get Harry Potter to the infirmary and get him treated. Monitor his health so that we can remove the bindings and the soul leech from him. If we can get the leech out sooner, the better." The one who had been dealing with the boy nodded and took the child in their arms to move out of the room, conjuring up a rattler to keep him occupied.

"Number 17, I need the legal team ready in my office within ten minutes. The trials are about to start soon and if what Number 42 has discovered before her demise is significant, we may be able to take the Death Eaters out of the equation. There is a lot of red tape to go through." Saul pointed to a different cloak who nodded their head and vanished on the spot.

"Everyone else can continue with their tasks for now but know that I am now putting the department into Beta 3 alert." Those still in the room straightened at that declaration, and if they were regular folks, they would be making a lot of noise. The department had different levels of Alerts to indicate the situation. Beta meant there were reasons to suspect the government of interference, with level 3 being one for potential spies in the department. They barely got out of Alpha 7, that being the highest level of alerts to say the department was in danger from enemies in every direction. Everyone got moving to get the message passed, leaving him and Number 18 standing next to him.

"Number 18, you are with me. There is much work to be done, and a lot of paperwork to be handled." Number 18 appeared to slump at that proclamation, but Saul really needed a lot of help for this. Since his agent went through the trouble of protecting her son and securing her work, he would make sure that they would help one of their own.

And when he thought about it later in the privacy of his office, it tickled a funny bone inside him at the idea of an Unspeakable raising Harry Potter before setting him loose on the unsuspecting populace of Magical Britain, and the type of expression Dumbledore would make when realising whatever plans he had got messed up by Lily Potter by sending Harry to him had the wily man let out a slightly crazed laughter that had the population of Britain collectively shivered in fear while his colleagues in the department merely shrugged it off and moved on with their tasks, more than familiar with their boss's random bouts of laughter.

And in the middle of it all, one Harry Potter was tucked into a bed with all his injuries healed, a soul leech removed from his now fading scar, and blissfully unaware of the mayhem that would ensue.