A/N: Another busy weekend coming up, but I will pull through it!

Shorter chapter than I wanted but next one will be awesome!

enjoy!

Lauren got up bright and early, bounding to her closet. She had to decide on what to wear to church this morning. It was down to choosing between her two favorite asymmetric dresses. One was tan and off white, the colors creating these intricate tropical flower pattern. The other was powder blue with white daisies all over.

After much back and forth, she settled on the tropical tan number.

Dresses were the primary dress code at Lauren's church for girls and while she personally liked dresses, she knew it had to be somewhat reserved. If the teen had it her way, she would arrive in a kaleidoscope of color. But, Lauren wasn't looking to stand out for its own sake. So, with the help of her mother, she found some dresses that were simple but also fun. With two colors, Lauren's personality came through and she didn't make waves with the older members of the congregation.

Lauren had a bunch to pick from, with some more formal attire for special occasions like Christmas or a funeral. She liked the two asymmetric dresses the best, how it hung the longest on the right and ascended as it went, which created a sharp angle. Sometime she will get some more if she sees them. Change the shoes and this was perfectly adequate for a party.

Once she was dressed, Lauren ran her fingers through her hair. The curls bounced with anticipation. Some hair days were better than others and this Sunday had promise. As a kid, Lauren tried to emulate hair styles she had seen in magazines or on TV with varying results. When she got her bob done for the first time, she hated it. She thought her head looked like one of those ferns in a pot you hung from the ceiling. But overtime, Lauren picked up on techniques and products to help facilitate the look she was going for. Once her first day at Hollywood Arts came around, she had the whole do down pat. And it was her signature look ever since.

She would get goosebumps when Chase kissed her head, getting a face full of her hair in the process. He would say she had the most beautiful hair and as a bonus it didn't hide her face. Lauren would reach up and hug him, saying how sweet he was being.

Chase had accompanied Lauren to church here and there, despite it not being his cup of tea. He told her that it wasn't like he didn't believe in God. Chase just felt it strange to go to a specific place at a set time each week. He was genuine when he told her this and admitted that he might not have gone if not for her. While she would miss him during service, Lauren knew in her heart of hearts that Chase had a moral compass. There have been adults throughout her life that would be just the worst kind of people, only for them to pay lip service on Sunday morning, just to have them revert swiftly back to their bad behaviors.

There are some folks who claim to believe in a higher power, some even tout as servants of Him, yet do not show it with their actions. That was why Lauren understood that Chase may not go to church but he goes out in the world, spreading God's love by being the best man he can be. Chase is kind and patient and tries to be there for his friends. And if she ever asked him point blank to accompany her for a special service, Chase would go because he values her needs as much as she does his. Mia and some of her other friends aren't particularly religious but are a well-meaning group who she feels blessed for having in her life.

A knock came at the door and Lauren turned.

"Come in!," she called, pretty sure who it was.

The door opened, her mom poking her head in.

"Good morning, Lauren" she smiled broadly. "Oh, wow! Aren't we up for the sunrise?"

Lauren chuckled and twirled in her dress.

"I'm just happy to head back and sing again!" she beamed, clasping her hands together excitedly.

Louise shook her head.

"And the little mermaid got her voice back."

She knew it must have been torture for her daughter to not have the ability to speak, let alone sing for several days.

A handful of people had inquired about her and Lauren's absence last Sunday, hoping everything was alright. They sent their get wells, which Lauren appreciated. She would remind Lauren to thank everyone there who reached out while she was sick.

"Guess you're a bit overdressed for breakfast."

"Too excited to eat!" grinned Lauren as she passed her.

Jade slowly exited the bedroom, trying not to make the door creak.

She headed into her office; her little writing sanctum.

Jade booted up her laptop and wandered aimlessly around Google, trying to find websites that could give her some...information.

Or at least a site that doesn't just give you a link to Pornhub.

The fetishizing and male-gaze aspect of lesbians in pop culture is a real thing. Jade wanted some actual advice, not a caricature that was intended for straight men to get off with.

Jade tried Reddit, a site she used to frequent. Mostly, she joined horror movie and horror literature groups. Years ago, she was one of the biggest contributors to the "Scissoring" Reddit.

Ironic, considering what she was researching now.

Jade finally came across a Reddit group that was contributed and moderated by lesbians. Reading through some of the posts, noticing the language did speak of experience, she was confident she found the right crowd.

One post was all about how to go down on your partner.

She smirked, thinking about how the likes of Beck tried his darnedest but couldn't quite get there. Effort is better than nothing at all. Harry didn't even give it a thought, but in all fairness, he never pressured her into the same thing. So, all in all, head was a foreign concept to the former goth's love life.

The comments were numerous, frustrated women trying to satisfy their girlfriends or wives. Meanwhile, the wiser commenters gave some pretty detailed advice.

Jade read through these comments over and over.

While technique varied, one thing all of the ladies piping up on this post could agree on is this: communication is essential! There will be trial and error figuring out what works for you and your partner. Some girls out there really got off humping. Some enjoyed getting eaten out but detested any other form of penetration. With or without fingers? How long should foreplay last? The importance of hydration. Some comments said they had to come up for air while others said to just breathe through your nose.

This was a lot to absorb.

Jade was hoping to gain more confidence but with all of these options for sapphic loving, she only got more nervous. With so many ways to get it right, that just meant plenty of ways to screw it up.

She tugged at her hair and grunted.

"FUCK!"

She quickly covered her mouth when she realized just how loud that outburst was.

"Jade? Where did you go?" came a sleepy Tori.

"I'm here!" she called back. "Just give me a minute."

The woman huffed as she closed her laptop.

(You know...it was so unfair making the penis idiot-proof!)

While her times with Beck and Harry were probably good on their end, it was rather mid for her in retrospect. Jade had a pretty good memory when strong emotions were involved and nothing screamed out at her as earth-shattering when she had sex then.

(What guy isn't able if a girl is willing, right?)

She remembered overhearing conversations between her mom and her aunt how things in the bedroom fizzled out. But she went through the motions anyway, mostly when his birthday came around.

(Thanks for the visual, mother!)

There was a shift in her tone, though. She seemed...resigned. Like when a person comes to terms that there is nothing better and it just doesn't make sense to try. Jade was worried if that happened to her to an extent. Was she, too going through the motions? Just passively laying there until he was finished? When you're young and inexperienced, sex can be scary but also exciting. Jade can't recall feeling any of that honestly during her long relationships.

Was she only having sex back then because she thought it was expected? Did she even want it?

Jade sighed, realizing that she was sitting in the room for too long since telling Tori she would be right back.

She wandered back to the bedroom where her tan beauty was still under the covers sawing lumber.

"I'm in love with this woman," she whispered to herself. "And she deserves the best."

The pale woman turned to regard herself in the mirror of the dresser.

(What is wrong with you? You're Jade-fucking-West! Are you really saying you can't pick up something new?)

Jade crawled back into bed and spooned Tori, which garnered an approving sound from the Latina.

"Is everything okay?" Tori asked, eyes still closed.

"It will be," Jade assured her with a kiss.

Chase texted his mom that he would be coming home during the first week of July. Sheri immediately started blowing up his phone with emojis and positive cacophony in all caps. Her infectious energy was winning him over and Chase was starting to look forward to the visit.

Things were tense when he was first sent to live with his uncle. But as he was corresponding with Sheri regularly, Chase realized how much he did miss her.

Later that morning, the congregation poured into the church to the tune of the organ voluntary.

Everyone said their polite but brief greetings as they found their seats. Lauren was immediately accosted with sympathetic words from the older folks, expressing how happy they were to see her back on her feet. She shook their hands and thanked them for their concern.

The priest, Father Casey, nodded and approached them.

"Louise, Lauren, delightful to see you both again" he smiled. "Are we ready for a great service this beautiful morning?"

Her mother nodded in agreement.

"Very ready."

"I can't wait to sing today," Lauren said. "It's been crazy not being able to."

Casey took a deep breath and glanced over to the teen.

"Oh, yes. Um...Lauren, because you weren't here last week, we thought it would be a kind gesture to offer a spot for June Falk."

Lauren blinked.

"Wait...who?"

The priest then spotted the girl and her family and waved. They smiled and waved back while sitting down.

"The Falks are new to our flock and they mentioned their daughter June had a delightful singing voice. Having her join in the choir would be a great way to ingratiate our newcomers. As the Lord said, love thy neighbor."

Louise looked at her daughter, whom she felt was disappointed.

"Besides," Casey said, clearing his throat. "You've been on the mend very recently. Perhaps it's best to not have the added pressure of singing for everyone."

He leaned in.

"You can still join in with all of us anyway. Everyone will be singing along, right?"

Father Casey noticed some people waiting patiently for him and he kindly nodded to acknowledge.

"Well, you two have a very blessed day if I don't catch you afterward. Please, enjoy the service!"

When he walked away, Louise put her hand on Lauren's slumped shoulder.

"I'm sorry, honey" she whispered.

"But it's not fair," Lauren sighed. "I was looking forward to singing all week."

Louise hugged her.

"I know, baby. Maybe it's only temporary."

"Yeah," the girl said, defeated. "Temporary."

Lauren had been singing in the church choir since she was a small kid. As her angelic voice matured, she was able to reach heights that made her stick around for years. The way her mother made it sound, people missed her when she didn't show. But the truth was, she was replaceable. In reality, it wasn't so callous. But Lauren's feelings of disappointment and sadness were valid. Singing was her life, it was part of her identity. And to have her spot filled by someone else hurt her. She knows it is the generous thing to do, offering a new arrival the chance to sing for the group. Lauren just felt a little cheated how it was kind of taken right from under her like that. It would have stung less if it were her decision.

Lauren was then overcome with guilt, like she was a bad person for feeling what she was feeling. June Falk didn't do anything to her; she was likely a sweet girl.

After the cavalcade of letdowns and missed opportunities from this past year; Lauren thought that she still had the church choir. Despite everything, it would always be there. Who cares if the commercial didn't happen, or the part was lost to another student? Lauren could at least sing on Sunday morning. Now, that was taken away from her.

"Come on," Louise said. "Let's sit down. It's almost starting."

"Okay," Lauren nodded.

A/N: Lauren can't seem to catch a break lately. Her mom is there for her at least. Maybe a little fun time with her friends will do her some good.

Jade has a confidence boost for now, but she still has some apprehension as her sexual history was brought into question. She loves Tori very much but is frustrated with seemingly starting from scratch.

Next chapter coming up is a fun one. PROMISE!