(Somewhere in Paradise)

– Byron –

The pub was a drab and dreary place, a thick and permanent layer of smoke obscuring the low ceiling. It was the sort of place where the lost souls gathered, those who were all too often at the end of their ropes. Scum and lowlife as far as the eye could see.

It was the sort of establishment that Byron had frequented prior to the start of his pirating career and had not entered again ever since. If he had any other choice, Byron likely wouldn't have come back either, but sadly desperate times required desperate measures and the circumstances had forced his hand. And despite this, it didn't look like his final gamble had paid off. Glancing over at the cause of his current headaches, Byron tries to suppress the urge to sigh and fails miserably.

Sigh

Byron barely reacts to Shura reaching over and patting him comfortingly on the shoulder, a soft grunt being his only sign of acknowledgement. His new first mate isn't put off, just nodding understandingly before going back to nursing his own drink again. Even if he doesn't have the energy to show it, Byron appreciates Shura putting on a brave front, despite the man being just as lost as Byron himself was.

For her part, Marie looks distinctly apologetic as she stares down at the bottom of her own tankard. Every so often her eyes would dart to the bar then to Byron before wincing. Then she would return to her staring contest with her beverage before starting the same routine all over again. That's not to say that Byron blames the girl. It simply wouldn't be fair as this wasn't her fault in the slightest and there simply had been nothing she could have done, that had not been done already.

Quite on the contrary, Byron really had no complaints about his medical officer at all. If anything, he was certain that he had found an uncut gem. She was diligent, dedicated and had taken to the pirate life like a duck to water. He barely had had to nudge the girl, before her entire philosophy and outlook on life had adapted wonderfully. Even on the combat side of things, Byron had been positively surprised. Oh, she was certainly inexperienced and currently about as dangerous as a newly born kitten – that is to a veteran like Byron – but the basic mindset, the ruthlessness was there. No, Byron had no complaints about her, unlike with her fiancé.

Sigh

Byron's original plans had been to blood his new recruits a little, just a smidgeon before heading over to Water Seven to get his ship checked out and possibly recruit a shipwright. Of course, he wasn't as foolhardy or as cruel to throw the lovebirds headfirst into the deep end. The plan had always meant for this be a gradual thing, a process designed to slowly get them used to the milieu in which they'd be moving in from now on. Otherwise, they were likely to simply freeze when confronted by the first bit of serious danger they'd be facing in the coming months. Visiting this shithole masquerading as a pub had been but the latest in a long series of attempts to do just that.

Sigh

Oh sure, the boy gave his all during combat training, regularly pushing himself to the point of utter exhaustion. In fact, his speed was even approaching the realms of no longer being an embarrassment, which was an impressive amount of progress he'd made in only a scant few weeks. But no. The problem lay elsewhere.

Sigh

Judy had proven remarkably tenacious in safeguarding his innocence. In short, he simply did not think and act like a pirate. To be fair, Byron himself wasn't the best example of the average pirate and neither was his first mate. Instead of being the bog-standard buccaneer, Byron had taken the concept of a gentleman pirate and made it his own. But at least Byron had limits and didn't deviate too much from the global criteria of what a pirate was supposed to be

For one, he didn't decide that the random pub he'd entered, catering to the local lowlife, needed a proper sommelier to completely reorganise their drinks menu. Neither did Byron approach the bar with an order for drinks, take a look at the selection available and take over as the bartender to improve the service by mixing the swill available into drinkable cocktails.

As a result, the bar was currently swamped with patrons who had their tastebuds newly ruined for their usual fare, loudly clamouring for more of the magic swirly drink that Byron's cook was serving. Off to the side, the original bartender had been relegated to the role of dishwasher, the burly man wiping the cups clean as fast as he could while wearing a bewildered look on his face, clearly unable to understand just what was going on or how he'd ended up in his current position in the first place.

All Byron had wanted was for Judy to be a pirate with a pirate's demeanor, not be this immaculately professional bartender with the instincts of a goody-two-shoes. Was that too much to ask?

Sigh

Drowning in his own misery, Byron almost misses the change in the atmosphere, which ripples through the entire pub when the doors open to reveal a newcomer. Blonde and beautiful, she was as an anomaly which did not belong in a place like this, something she knew fully well if her skittish demeanor was anything to go by. Already hungry gazes were following her every move, the Grand Line pirates having sensed weakness and beginning to test the waters, only the presence (& threat) of their own peers stopping them from making the first move. Marie had been exempted thanks to Byron and Shura. This lady had nobody.

Obviously, the woman wasn't blind and hence sought out the most harmless individual in the room to approach, much to Byron's dismay. Because, having already painted a giant target on her own back by virtue of being an attractive woman, in chatting up Judy she had just made Byron's crew a target too.

And when the lady excitedly strikes up an avid conversation with Judy, even going as far as to hug the man for something he had said, Byron just slumps in his chair and stares up at the ceiling, hoping against hope that the smoke held some answers. Never mind being a target, they'd just been declared public enemy number one. Why, oh why did his cook have to be so innately…safe and cuddly?

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?" Shura roars in Judy's face, causing the young man to shrink back into himself. "Never mind, you obviously weren't thinking at all. Of course, you weren't. It's obviously too much for your empty noggin to handle!"

"I-I'm sorry?"

"You're sorry? You're sorry? Oh, that makes things all better, don't they?" Shura sneers, "For your info, no it doesn't!"

"But she needed our help!" Judy pipes up, but his rebellion is quickly beaten down.

"And you're not the captain! It was not your right to offer it!" Shura points out, crushing Judy's protest, who at least had the good grace to look chastised.

"I'm sorry…"

"You better be." Shura growls before turning towards Byron. "What do we do, Captain? Throw the girl overboard and be done with it?"

The girl flinches when she meets Byron's steely gaze but wisely says nothing. Not that anything she said could have changed anything anyway. Which is also why his first mate could suggest such a thing, voluntarily accepting the part of the bad cop and leave playing the good cop to Byron.

"Oh, relax lady. We're not going to throw you overboard."

"You're not?" the girl asks hopefully.

"We're not?" Judy asks relievedly.

"We're not?" Marie asks despondently.

"No, we're not. One, because my mother raised a gentleman. And two, because a certain someone," Byron answers, giving Judy another glare. "Publicly promised the lady, in front of a lot of witnesses no less, IN MY NAME, that we would help her find her brother. I wouldn't be surprised if half of paradise hasn't heard the news by now."

"Ahaha…ha…ha…" Judy's tries to chuckle, only to trail off into silence when Marie gives him the stink-eye.

"Which means, that if I don't want to ruin MY good name and be known as a captain who cannot keep his word, I have no choice but to see this through." Byron explains, throwing out his arms in a clear sign of frustration. "Never mind, that I have no clue where her brother might be nor do I have any skills which could help me find the bloody bastard. And to make matters worse, the girl is dead broke with no way of paying for our services."

"My brother will surely pay you back." The girl offers but Byron waves her off.

"Lady, I don't know you. I don't know your brother, so excuse me if I take what you say with a bucketload of salt. Anyway Judy, the only other way I have by which I may get out of this, maybe not smelling of roses but with minimal damage, is if I disavow you and throw you out. You can thank your lucky stars that I like Marie over there and I don't want to make her sad." Byron grumbles, plopping himself down on a ship barrel and gesturing towards his favorite crew member. "So, congratulations. Three weeks into your career, you have in effect staged a mutiny and subverted my authority as the captain of this vessel."

"I'M SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO, I SWEAR!" Judy cries, throwing himself to the deck in a dogeza before anyone could stop him. Byron honestly had no idea where he picked up that wano tradition. Marie just looked embarrassed.

Byron can admit to himself that he takes a sort of vindicative glee in seeing Judy's face lose all color, but he does decide to throw him a bone. The lad had a good heart and it wasn't as if Byron wanted to ruin it entirely. Judy simply needed to learn a lesson in not overstepping his bounds and it wasn't as if there wasn't a benefit to be gained from all this.

"I suppose, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt just this once. Judy, consider yourself chastised. And as for you lady, we need to talk, but first where are my manners? I haven't even properly introduced myself yet." Byron takes off his plumed hat in a courtly flourish and dropping into a courtly bow, just like he had learned in his childhood all those years ago. "Captain Byron O'Brien at your service."

The girl answers with a flawless curtsy of her own. "The pleasure is all mine, captain. I'm Helena Desparta, the Honey Queen."

Author's note:
I did promise that we were going to see Byron & Crew again, didn't I?