Chapter 12

Uijeongbu Korea; December 8th, 1951

Ellie Marie was sitting in the mess tent eating a surprisingly decent breakfast of powdered eggs and bacon when she heard a commotion in the compound. She looked over her shoulder and saw what looked to be half the camp mobbing a jeep that had just pulled in.

"What's going on there?" She wondered aloud.

"I believe the mail has just arrived." Father Mulcahy answered, taking the seat across from her.

"Oh, yeah that would do it." She said, going back to her eggs.

"Aren't you excited to receive your mail from home?" He asked.

"I'm not unexcited." She answered, "I just don't have a lot going on to hear about. If I get a letter it will be from my parents telling me how business at the store is going, or from my little brother telling me if he made states in wrestling. All things I want to hear, but nothing I need to fight my campmates in the back of a jeep about. I'm fine to wait for Radar to sort it all and bring it to me. I hope Max gets a letter though, more than one. I hope he gets a whole slew of letters. He's been so worried."

"You know I don't know that I've ever told you this, but I truly admire what a good friend you've been to him." Father Mulcahy said, "in a place where so many choose to allow their, shall we say baser instincts, override their sense of morality. Your kind and straightforward friendship is inspiring."

Ellie Marie felt a twinge of guilt in her stomach.

"Thank you father." She responded.

A little while later Radar found her at the desk in Post Op where she was working the day shift.

"Hey Ellie, mail's finally here!" He said brightly, "you got a postcard from your brother from his Wrestling Regionals in Ohio, and a letter from your Mom."

"Thanks Radar." She said, "Hey did Max get anything?"

"Oh yeah…" He rolled his eyes, "He nearly ripped the mail bag apart to get to the letter from his wife and then ran off sniffing it like a mad man." He said.

"Good for him." Ellie Marie said, trying to ignore the bittersweet ache in her chest that seemed to always be with her these days.

"Oh and we got a new movie too! The African Queen. Gonna do a showing in the mess tent tonight."

"Oh yes! It's been forever since we had something new!" Ellie Marie said, "maybe I'll even break out some of my good candy."

A few hours later Kelly wandered into the ward looking for her.

"Hey Kels what's up?" She asked.

"Oh not much. Just wanted to check on the kid Hawk and I worked on yesterday. The one with the head trauma?"

"Oh yeah. He's actually doing really well, he's responding to stimuli, pupils are dilating normally and he was even conscious for a little while earlier. Hawkeye thinks he's probably going to make a full recovery."

"Oh that wonderful news!" She said in relief.

"Hey." She added, "did you hear about the movie?"

"Yeah! Exciting, right? About time we got something new to watch around here."

"So I heard from Igor that it's Klinger's turn to run the reel tonight, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go just us girls."

"Sure that would be fun!" Ellie Marie said immediately, "but you know you don't have to only ask me to do things with you when Max is busy. You're my friend too."

"Yeah I know…..but still. By the way," She added, "while we're on the topic, have you noticed anything off about Klinger today?"

"I haven't actually seen him today. I've been in here since breakfast, why?"

"Oh it's probably nothing. I just talked to him for a few minutes earlier and he seemed, I dunno kinda down."

"He got a letter from his wife today." Ellie Marie said, "Radar told me, and it's always kinda a double edged sword when he does because he's so excited to hear from her, but then it ends up making him feel super homesick."

"Yeah, that makes sense." Kelly said, "that's probably what it is."

By the time Ellie Marie's shift was over and she'd gotten a shower, she barely had time to grab a quick bite to eat before they were moving the tables to convert the mess tent into a movie theater. She went to the nurses tent to grab Kelly and they headed back over to get good seats. When they walked in Ellie Marie saw Klinger in the back messing with the projector.

"Hey there stranger. Haven't seen you at all today." She said, walking up to him.

"Hey." He said, not looking up from the reel he was working on.

"Heard you finally got that letter from home you've been so worried about." She said. He gave a derisive snort.

"Huh…yeah. I got it." He muttered, still focused on the projector.

Ellie Marie was confused. She could tell by his demeanor that Kelly had been right about him being in a funk, but it seemed like he was being intentionally cold to her as well and she couldn't for the life of her figure out what she'd done.

"Max….is everything—" She began.

"Look I gotta get this reel loaded ok?" He cut across her.

"Oh ok." She said, turning to head back to her seat. Her chest burned with confusion and hurt and she felt tears pricking the edges of her vision. As soon as she sat down Kelly leaned over and put a hand on her arm.

"What's wrong?" She said with concern. Ellie Marie shook her head slightly.

"Whatever's going on with him, it's about me." She said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"You? How could it be? You haven't seen him today."

"I don't know." Ellie Marie said, quickly brushing away a tear as the lights dimmed, "but he just made it pretty damned clear he wasn't interested in talking to me."

"What the hell…" Kelly muttered.

The movie began, but Ellie Marie was not really watching it. It felt as if someone had punched a hole in her chest. She went back over every word that had been exchanged between her and Klinger in the past few days, trying to find anything that might indicate this abrupt change in behavior, but there was nothing. She became aware that it seemed she wasn't the only one having trouble focusing. B.J was muttering a tirade under his breath to Hawkeye a few rows back, and Radar seemed to be arguing with himself about something in the front row.

"Can you be quiet? I'm trying to watch the picture." Charles snapped at B.J. and Hawkeye.

"Oh…Charles is trying to watch the picture….QUIET EVERYONE!" called Hawkeye loudly, "There ya go Charles."

"Wombat…" Charles grumbled.

The chattering continued in various points of the tent until the movie was almost completely drowned out.

"I have never been to a movie with such rude people!" Charles exclaimed angrily.

"Oh usher! Throw these rowdies out!" Hawkeye quipped.

The film suddenly jumped the reel and everyone groaned.

"Klinger!" Charles complained.

"Get off my back!" Klinger snapped.

"Klinger rethread the machine and get on with the show." Margaret said.

"Rethread it yourself! I've had it." Klinger said, shoving the machine aside and heading for the front door.

Kelly shot Ellie Marie a concerned look. It was becoming obvious that Klinger's mood was not directed solely at her, and while that eased the pain in her chest slightly, something was definitely very wrong. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for Klinger to be raked over the coals, especially by the senior officers, but he usually didn't let it get to him like that.

"Colonel Potter! Colonel Potter, he's walking out!" Charles said, pointing frantically at Klinger.

"Klinger, come back here!" The Colonel said, "Now what in tarnation's going on?"

"I told you already sir. My wife's divorcing me." Klinger said, and Ellie Marie felt like her stomach dropped to her toes. Kelly grabbed her arm in alarm.

"Tell us after the movie…" B.J. called.

"Yeah save it for talent night." Zale added.

"Will somebody please just listen to me!?" Klinger said angrily, and Ellie Marie desperately wanted to walk up there and put her arms around him, but she felt frozen to her seat. Her brain couldn't process what was happening.

"We've heard it all Klinger," Hawkeye said.

"Just another phony hardship discharge ploy." Margaret agreed.

"No it's not…" said Klinger, "this is phony sir," he ripped his blouse off, "and this here is phony!" He ripped off his skirt, "all of this is phony!" He tossed his earrings on the ground, "but my wife leaving me isn't! She took my allotment checks, built up a nice bank account and now she's found another guy!"

Without another word he turned and slammed through the door. Everyone looked around in shocked silence.

"I will never get to see the end of this movie…" Charles whined.

"Shut up Charles." B.J. muttered.

"Do we think someone should…." Father Mulcahy began.

"I've got it." Ellie Marie said, finally finding her footing. She stood and walked through the same door Klinger had exited. By the time she got out he was just a shadow moving down the road towards Rosie's.

"Max!" She called, running to catch up with him, he didn't stop.

"Max, come on!" She said again, but he ignored her.

"Maxwell Qadir Klinger, you turn around and look at me right now." She demanded.

He stopped and for a long moment she thought he wasn't going to listen to her but then he finally turned and she felt her heart crack. His eyes were bright with tears and his face was pure agony, he looked like a man completely lost. Never in a million years could she have wished this on him.

"Oh Max…." She said, taking a step towards him, but he stepped away.

"What do you want, Ellie Marie ?" He said.

"I want you to talk to me."

"And say what?"

"I don't know….anything? Nothing? I just want to be here for you Max. It's what we do remember? I've got your back, you've got mine."

"You can't have my back in this Ellie! There's nothing left to have my back in, it's over. She's gone, my life is over."

"Your life is not over Max!" She said fiercely, "you better stop talking like that or I'm going to get Colonel Potter out here right now and put you on psych lock down. I don't care if you hate me for it, I'm not going to let you hurt yourself."

"I'm not gonna hurt myself." He said hollowly, "I'm too much of a coward to do anything permanent anyway…"

"Max…." She said, wishing there was some combination of words that could break through to him in that moment, but knowing it was futile.

"Look, I'm going to Rosie's to get very drunk ok? I'm not gonna do anything crazy. I just want to be alone. I'm sorry."

"Max, the last thing you have to do right now is apologize." Ellie Marie said, "Do what you have to do to get through it. I'm here whenever you need me, day or night. I love ya kid, you know that right?"

"I do." He said with a sad smile, "Thanks G." And he walked off into the dark.

————

"So you haven't talked to him at all since last night?" Bigalow asked as they got ready for bed the next evening.

"No." Ellie Marie said as she brushed out her hair, " He said he wants to be alone, and I'm trying to respect that."

"Poor guy…" Baker said, "I can't even imagine what he's going through. It's bad enough to lose someone when you're over here, but to have them betray you like that. And his childhood sweetheart no less, he's gotta feel like his whole world is falling apart.

"Yeah…." Ellie Marie said, "I think he really does." There was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Ginger called out.

"It's Max." Came the reply.

"Think it's for you." Ginger said, giving Ellie Marie a pointed look.

Ellie Marie put on her slippers and pulled her robe tighter around her as she went outside. He was standing just outside the door in normal Army fatigues with his hands in his pockets, and her stupid traitorous heart stuttered at the sight of him.

"Hey G." He said quietly. He had the same lost look in his eyes that he had the night before, but the raw anger was gone. It was better and also so much worse because she could see the desperation and pain had turned inward.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He asked. She nodded, and they walked into the shadows at the side of the tent. Her heart skipped another beat when he took both of her hands in his.

"I wanna apologize for last night," He said, "I know you told me that I didn't need to, but I do. I'm sorry I pushed you away like that. You were just doing what we always said we would for each other. You were being my best friend. I want you to know that you are G. You're the best friend I've ever had. I'm so glad I met you. I'm so glad an amazing girl like you saw something in a dumb weirdo like me, and took the time to become my friend. I love you G, and I'm never going to forget you as long as I live."

"Why does it sound like you're saying goodbye?" Ellie Marie asked, her chest tight with emotion. He looked up at her and she knew exactly what he was planning without him saying a word.

"I have to see her." He said, "I have to get to her before she marries him."

"Max no…." Ellie Marie said.

"I have to G." He said, the emotion threatening to overtake his voice, "I won't be able to live with myself if I don't try."

"What are you going to do?" She asked.

"Head to Seoul. Try to get on a cargo plane for the States. I'll figure it out from there."

"Ok….."Ellie Marie said, trying to think, "Ok I'm going with you."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He said, "You can't."

"Not all the way to the states." She clarified, "but I can at least take you to Seoul. You're in no state to be driving and then at least you won't be adding grand theft auto to your list of crimes."

"G….. that's crazy." He said. She leaned in and pressed her forehead to his.

"You're right it's absolutely crazy. But if you're hell bent on doing it, then I'm along for the ride. I'm Bonnie to your Clyde kid. I've got your back. Always. Just give me five minutes to grab my coat and shoes and I'll meet you at the motor pool. And don't you leave without me, if you do I swear to God I'll go straight to the Colonel."

"I won't leave without you." He said, "I promise."

"Five minutes." She said, and he nodded and headed in the direction of the motor pool.

Ellie Marie raced back into the tent diving for her coat and pulling her boots on in a frenzy, not bothering with the laces.

"What the hell is going on?" Asked Bigalow.

"Can't explain. No time," Ellie Marie said, ripping a page out of her journal and scribbling on it furiously.

"Kelly, I need you to do something for me." She said, "and no pressure but Klinger's and potentially my future may depend on it. I can't give you details, I just need you to trust me ok?"

"Of course!" said Kelly, "what do you need me to do?" Ellie Marie pressed the paper into her hand.

"Radar is at Rosie's right now, in about a half hour I need you to take this up to the office and put it on his desks. Can you do that?"

"Of course Ellie, but why?"

Ellie Marie heard the sound of an engine outside.

"No time." She repeated, "sorry."

She ran out the door to where Klinger was waiting in the running jeep.

"Scoot over." She said, taking the drivers seat as he moved.

"You sure about this Bonnie?" He asked.

"Let's blow this popsicle stand Clyde." She answered.

———

"Colonel?" Father Mulcahy knocked on Colonel Potter's door.

"Who is it?" The Colonel answered.

"It's Father Mulcahy. Something terrible has happened."

"What?"

"May I come in?"

"Get in here."

"I've done a very foolish thing." Father Mulcahy said, pacing the room and wringing his hands.

"You father?" The Colonel questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I could have stopped him but I didn't and now he's gone AWOL behind my back."

"Klinger?" The colonel asked.

"Yes." The Father confirmed.

"When?"

"Well, I was talking to him in the Officers Club around 11 and now it's around 3, so I'd say somewhere between 11 and 3."

"Good guess." said the Colonel, "alright let's get on the horn and try and lasso him."

They left his tent and began walking towards the main building.

"Sorry to disturb you sir," The Father said.

"Eh it's ok, I have to get up in another six hours anyway." The Colonel replied.

They walked into the main office to find B.J. on the phone with his feet propped on Radar's desk.

"Peggy I realize it's embarrassing honey, but you've got to do it." He was saying.

"What's going on here?" Colonel Potter asked Radar, who was hovering near B.J.

"Oh uh, Captain Hunnicutt had a very serious family crisis." Radar said.

"You took the car to Ron's Service Station and he wants $425 bucks? Peggy, you only go there for gas and air, and sometimes they charge you for the air." B.J. continued.

"Hunnicutt get off that phone." Said Colonel Potter before turning to Radar.

"You let him call his wife about a car?" He said.

"Well….Captain Hunnicutt's a captain, Colonel."

"Just a second Colonel." said B.J., "Honey there's a place in San Rafael called Gene's Body Work. Go there. Tell Gene you're my wife. He's an old friend of mine, we played football together in high school. He'll give you a good deal."

"Klinger's gone AWOL every minute counts!" Colonel Potter snapped.

"Sweet heart I gotta get off the phone." B.J. said, "What? Why did I call you?"

"Oh come on…" grumbled Colonel Potter.

"I guess I just wanted to see if you still need me, Peg." said B.J.

"So does she?" Colonel Potter asked after a few seconds.

"That's good to hear sweetheart." B.J. said with a grin.

"She does." Father Mulcahy said with relief.

"I need you too darling." B.J. said, "Bye,"

"Hallelujah. Everything all right?" The colonel asked.

"Always was." said B.J. standing up happily.

"Alright Radar get on the phone." Colonel Potter said.

"Yes sir, right away….hey wait a minute." Radar picked up the note, "This wasn't here when I left for Rosie's! That's Ellie Marie's handwriting. I didn't see it cuz you had your big feet on it!" He snapped at B.J.

"So what does it say Radar?" Father Mulcahy asked. Radar opened the note.

"Went with him." He read outloud, "gonna try to talk him out of it, but will bring jeep back in the AM either way. Don't let CP mark me AWOL."

"So she's with Klinger then." Colonel Potter surmised.

"Thank God…." Father Mulcahy said.

"You know if that girl talks him out of this crazy caper he owes her at least a dozen roses." The Colonel said.

"I'm thinking if she talks him out of this he might be buying her roses for the rest of his life, if you catch my drift," B.J. said with a knowing smile.

"No….you don't think?" Father Mulcahy asked.

"I don't know, but all I can say is it's quite a trade up to have a girl who will ride by your side into the firestorm, instead of one that ditches you for another guy the minute things get rough." B.J. said.

"Very true…" said Father Mulcahy, "and I have to admit, I think they'd make a fine couple."

"Okay let's not go counting chickens before the eggs have even been laid." Said Colonel Potter, "the man's been single all of 18 hours, and is currently fighting like hell to get his girl back!"

"We know Colonel, but you have to admit. They're pretty perfect for each other." said B.J.

"Let's just get them back in one piece and see how things go from there." Colonel Potter replied.

—--

"How'd it go?" Ellie Marie asked, as Kilnger came back to the little table they occupied in the closed snack shop of the Seoul Military Airport.

"Paid a baggage handler ten bucks, he's gonna sneak me into the baggage compartment of a C-47 leaving at eight." He replied

"Sounds cozy." She said.

"Kinda surprised you're not trying to talk me out of it."

"I know you well enough to know the only person who's gonna talk you out of this is you." She replied, "and I'm still hoping that will happen."

"I get where you're coming from G, I promise I do. I just…. can't let her go without trying. She's the only girl I ever loved."

"I know…."

"We've been together since we were kids. 16 years! I've loved her for 16 years, she was my first kiss, my first real date, my first…well my first everything. What the hell do I have if I don't have her?"

"Your family? Your friends? Toledo?"

"There's no Toledo without her. I'd see her on every street corner we ever stopped at, in any place we used to visit. Without her it's a ghost town."

"God Max, I'm so sorry…."

"16 years…." He repeated, "that's like almost the entire life of some of these boys who come over here to fight. It's a lifetime, and she just threw it away. She just kicked it in the dirt and trampled on it, and for what? Morty? Some sweaty Italian guy who's fingers look like the sausages his Dad's factory makes? Is that really all I'm worth to her? I'm over here risking my life, doing everything I can to get back to her, and she's back home not just being unfaithful but actively making a plan to screw me over. What the hell kind of person does that? Especially to some they claim to have loved for 16 damn years!" He looked up at her.

"What the hell am I doing?" He said, and relief flooded through her, "I'm sitting here about to risk spending the next 20 years in Leavenworth and for what? A girl who stabbed me in the back and ran off with my money? Forget that."

"Yes, exactly!" Ellie Marie sighed, squeezing his hand.

"If she don't want me, I don't want her! Come on. Let's get out of here."

They drove the two hours back from Seoul in silence, and he drove this time. At one point he reached over and put an arm around her, pulling her head to his shoulder and she slid over easily and rested there. It was just before sunrise when they pulled back into camp.

"Colonel!" She heard Radar yell as soon as Klinger cut the engine, "Colonel Potter they're back! Klinger's back!"

"Out of my way!" The colonel bellowed as he slammed through the office door and came barreling down the hill towards them.

"You jackass!" He shouted at Klinger, "What kind of idiotic stunt was that? For two cents I'd slam you in the hoosegrow and throw away the key! Joyriding around Korea in the middle of the night. You could've gotten yourself killed. You could've gotten my assistant head nurse killed! Now what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Colonel I gotta tell you—"

"I don't wanna hear it!" The Colonel cut him off, before rounding on Ellie Marie .

"And you! Captain god knows I understand standing by a friend through thick and thin, and I respect it, but what the hell did you think you were doing? What if he had gone through with it? I'dve had one of the senior members of my staff stranded in Seoul at best, or lost somewhere on the road by herself. Potentially kidnapped or worse!"

"Colonel I wasn't going to drive back until it was light." She said, "I'm not an idiot."

"That remains to be seen." He shot back.

"Do you have any idea how lucky you are that she was looney enough to join you on this Section 8 worthy stunt Corporal? If she hadn't been able to talk you off that ledge, you'd have been in cuffs the second you stepped off the plane and on your way to twenty to life!"

"I do know sir. Believe me." Klinger responded.

"Honestly sir. I didn't really do anything. He worked it out himself." Ellie Marie said.

"That's not even a little true." Klinger responded, "I never would have gotten there without you. I was this close Colonel. Deluxe accommodations in the baggage compartment of a C-47. I bumped a general's poodle to get on. But while I was waiting for the plane, we had some time to talk, you know? And I started really thinking about what Laverne did to me. She had no right, not while I was here."

"Agreed." said Colonel Potter.

"After all, under all these feathers and laces beats the heart of a real man! I've got my pride, and if she don't want me, I don't want her!"

"That's what I'm talking about!" The colonel said enthusiastically.

"Let her have Morty. She'll probably eat all that free sausage and blow up like an elephant. Serves her right."

"You deserve a lot better." The Colonel said.

"Don't I know it." Klinger agreed, "Besides, this hitch is bad enough. I don't want to spend the next one in jail. I have scruples, you know. When I leave the Army it'll be the honorable way, with a Section 8!"

"That's it son." The Colonel chuckled, "Always go with your best pitch. Now it's been a hell of a night for all of us. I suggest we all retire to our bunks and get some shut eye."

The colonel headed for his tent, and Radar made his way back up the hill to the office after giving Ellie Marie a quick hug. Once they'd gone, Klinger turned back to her.

"You know I'm probably gonna change my mind about all of this tomorrow." He said, "and… then change it back the next day."

"And I'll be right by your side through it all." She said, "I meant what I said before Max. Whatever you gotta do is ok. I'm gonna get you through this, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute if that's what you need. This isn't gonna break you ok?"

She echoed the words he'd used to comfort her, and he grabbed her into a crushing hug.

"God, I don't know how the hell I survived this place before you showed up." He murmured against her hair.

"Well the good news is, neither of us have to do it without the other now, and for what it's worth." She pulled back to look at him and put a hand on the side of his face, "any girl that had you, and could even think about letting you go, is the stupidest broad on the face of the planet."

"Thanks G." He said, resting his forehead against hers, she leaned up and pressed a kiss to it.

"Go get some sleep ok? Things are gonna look and feel a little better when you wake up." She said.

"They kinda already do." He replied.