Ministry

The next work day, Tonks took Harry to the ministry to get his animagus registration photos taken. Then left him in the auror/DMLE break room to work on homework while she went to get berated for not correctly filling out some paperwork or other.

It was a familiar break room, Madam Bones had stashed him here often enough to give him space to re-write his Pettigrew report to proper specifications.

It ought to have been familiar enough for him to get a lot of homework done, but he could barely concentrate when anyone else was in the room.

So if he wasn't accomplishing homework, This seemed like the ideal time to find out how far the investigation had gotten into finding Nim. Except no one talked about that.

Finally he left his things spread out (as if only going to visit the loo) and wandered until he found a window looking in on Alistor Moody bent over a desk. In the time between when Harry looked down to twist the door handle and when he looked up again Moody had turned to glare up at him. Creepy eye still works, check.

"Prof— Auror Moody?"

"What's up, Mr. Potter."

"Is there any word on … your office is strangely but comfortingly familiar, did I visit last summer and I don't remember it because you hadn't been my Professor yet?"

"No."

"Then it must just be from similarities from your Hogwarts office, your detectors and sneakoscopes and things."

"Hmm," said Moody, "did you perhaps observe from over there by that filing cabinet?"

Harry walked over and turned to look around the room, then shook his head, then took two stepped forward to the corner of the desk and crouched down to peer over it, and around again.

"More like, somewhere near right here," said Harry.

"Very good," said Moody, "you've got a good memory."

"Still don't remember the occasion," said Harry.

Moody shrugged, "Not surprised, I'm sure you were concentrating on other things at the time."

"Like what?" said Harry.

"What do you think?" sighed Moody sourly, "What brings you here today?" and gave an imperious gesture for Harry to go back to the guest side of the desk and take a seat.

Harry obeyed, "I was hoping for word on, who kidnapped 'me and Nim' from Third Task?"

"Not as much word as we all would like."

"Alright," sighed Harry, "Did I mention Nim's theory that you-know-who's last relic might be his large venomous snake familiar?"

"Yes, Sirius passed that observation on to me. It doesn't help as much as we'd like. There seems to be a Fidelius charm in effect around at least one of their bases of operations."

"Alright," Harry sighed.

"How are you with the patronus charm?"

"What?"

"I saw in Lupin's notes that you'd been doing some self study on the topic, so I'm asking … how far have you progressed?"

"I used to be fairly proficient," sighed Harry.

"Used to be?"

"Before I lost Nim."

Auror Moody's face twisted sharply and he slumped back in his rather comfortable looking desk chair. It wasn't relaxation, it was reluctance to … do something about what Harry had just said.

"Is that the only scar you have from that battle?"

"What?"

Auror Moody swallowed and sat forward, "How many scars do you have?"

"Two," said Harry, "one I got while killing a basilisk, and one they say I got the night my parents defeated you-know-who."

"You seem fairly certain of that number."

"All my other scars fade eventually," said Harry.

Auror Moody sat forward even farther, seeming to loom over him, even though they were both seated, and there was a desk between.

Harry looked up, and for the first time in months actually saw Moody's scars. He looked down again.

"What do you see when you look at me?" said Auror Moody.

"A lot of err … risk and hard work," said Harry.

"And what do you see when you look in the mirror?"

"Not allowed to brag," said Harry, "No one remembers what I remember, not even my own skin."

"What do you remember about Nim?"

"A girl, a Black, who wanted … to be acknowledged and listened to by anyone besides a couple house elves. Who finally realised that the way she could reliably elicit praise was torturing things and by learning to cast charms via their dark aspect, and taking over duties regarding the seasonal rituals, especially those related to blood or pain, her own or anyone else's.

"A teenager who listened to her siblings, and when they did not wish to follow her path to gaining their parents approval, she went very very far out of her way and past any consideration of her own comfort to make sure they would no longer be forced against their will to participate in any of those things. With the result that Andromeda is a Healer and Criminal Pathologist, and married to a barrister, a muggleborn barrister. And Narcissa has a large fraction of her fortune invested in muggle corporations."

Auror Moody sat back hard, as if slapped.

"A young woman married against her will into a family she found pathetic by all her standards, both innate and instilled. Who found she was good at fighting, and killing, and especially at ruining the enemy's morale, and took the only path open to her toward reforming society towards the ideal she was taken in by at the time.

"An old woman who wants for me to follow her first dream, with all the entailed verbal sparring and mental modelling and persuasion of enemies and friends and public perception."

"She wants you to be a politician?"

"She wants me to be a barrister."

Auror Moody blinked again. And shook his head.

"The same sort of barrister that her middle sister married, to replace her missing elder sister."

"Bellatrix Lestrange wants to turn you into her ideal self, which is to say, into Ted Tonks?"

"Ted Tonks, except with the pureblood privilege of being listened to in the Wizengamot."

Auror Moody barked a laugh, "And what do you want?"

"I want to use such a position to reform against ministry corruption, and corporate corruption, and entrenched prejudice in general."

Auror Moody barked another laugh, "you might find, that for the last three generations over half the pureblood heirs have wanted that, but they always somehow put off the entrenched prejudice for last, seeing how it benefits them."

"I can see how that could somehow, just keep happening," said Harry, "But …" he shrugged, "my current plan is to have an aid working on each of those problems separately and telling me what legislation to attack or push forward, to make sure I don't lose sight of any of them."

"Are you sure it's not minister of magic that you're looking to become?"

"I just finished my first year of Survey of Magical Law," said Harry, "I'm not yet clear on how the ministry is meant to function."

Moody nodded, "well you'd best learn how it's meant to function, and how it actually does function, before you go through the trouble of trying to change it."

"Yes, Professor," said Harry. Then he covered his mouth by way of apology for the slip.

Moody nodded, merely amused.

"What do you know about handling dementors without ability to conjure a patronus?"

"Run tangent to their expected path for as long as you can, Fall face down to protect your lips, and hope they go away, not that hope is still likely to function at that point," said Harry.

"Once you fall far enough catatonic to end up in a state called 'waxy flexibility', they're strong enough to roll over a grown wizard," said Moody.

Harry nodded, "that doesn't surprise me."

"Stay with your group if you have one," said Moody, "Do your best to keep them all moving in an ideal direction, not just dropping one at a time. Bunching together drastically increases the odds that at least a few will survive."

"Like sheep?" said Harry.

"Bunching like sheep," agreed Moody, "Imagine a herd of sheep, not five or six, but a whole flock, bunching together and then fainting together. Minimising mouths or throats exposed, but mostly an impenetrable mass. Humans and sheep are different, just like dementors and wolves are different, but the analogy works."

"You make it sound … half way hopeless, and half way … 'this is the ravenclaw way to manage this risk: act like hufflepuffs,'"

Moody nodded, "nothing except the coolest of ravenclaw logic functions reliably in the presence of dementors. And very few have the coolness under pressure to select ravenclaw logic from among all the other impulses. The main problem being a weakness of impulses."

"Alright, fair," said Harry.

"And if you insist on thinking about it in those terms, the patronus charm is a very hufflepuff charm."

Harry frowned, "I always found the blue alignment patronus to be a very gryffindor charm."

Moody smiled, and tapped his temple, "good point, and what was the foundation of those emotions?"

Harry shrugged.

"Where and how did you get something to protect?"

"Constant vigilance?" said Harry, "living out blue alignment when faced with bullies? Also when faced with other dangers."

Moody shook his head, "What gave you the right?"

Harry frowned then nodded, "empathy, hufflepuff logic?"

"Empathy," agreed Moody, "tell me if you ever get your patronus back, I've got some dementors to go wrangle."

"Yes, Auror Moody," Harry stood and went to the door.

"Oh, and Potter?" said Moody.

Harry turned half way back.

"And warn me before you go looking for any more scars that might turn out permanent."

Harry frowned, "this is your warning: I take my protection vows to my wards and thralls very seriously. But yes, I'll call for backup ahead of time, if and when my luck permits me any 'ahead of time' to so prepare."

Moody growled, perhaps something of a threat to show a memory of this conversation to Bones.

But Harry had looked away. Looked away, and drew his wand, keeping it deliberately pointed away from the auror, Expecto Patronum."

His cat was back, but it was no longer his small spotty cat, it was an image of his animagus form.

"Oh," he said, "Oh, that's even better."

"Something stabilised then?"

"Bluer in alignment than I ever knew how before," said Harry, "and … and self aware instead of self deceived about the hufflepuff parts."

"Glad that's settled," said Moody, "come here and look at these two requisitions, and tell me what you think?"

A requisition for the address-of-record for one student: Harry James Potter, and a requisition for an extra two dementors for minister escort duty, both written on the same day and due within days of each other. Both originating from the minister's office, from the desk of the same undersecretary.

He turned the page over, in case there was more on the other side, there wasn't but under it was an answering memo: 4 Privet Drive, etc.

He turned the other requisition over, two documents, a dementor movement order not yet signed or stamped, and a boilerplate rejection and invitation to reschedule. Whoever had caught the implication and passed it to Moody to investigate, was in the habit of making it easy for their superiors to finish paperwork immediately, not merely send back instructions how it ought to be finished. Help that good is hard to find.

Harry shrugged, "He's tracked me down before, for a publicity stunt when Sirius Black had escaped, 'Diagon is still safe, see: the minister and Harry Potter go there often enough to bump into each other at breakfast.' Though I don't see why he wouldn't just use an owl if he wants to set up something like that again. Don't know how he stands dementors though, even if he can be confident they aren't out to get him."

"And you think that's all this is?"

Harry shrugged, "I wouldn't know, his actions have always been rather opaque to me without Nim interpreting."

"You don't see the obvious assassination attempt, and maybe they're after Sirius Black as well?"

Harry shrugged, "I see the possibility, if I was in danger, or the death was anything other than dementors … or werewolves, I might not even care if that's how my muggles died."

"A moment ago you warn me away from your 'wards and thralls' and cast a patronus from your feelings of protectiveness and justice, and now you're telling me you'd leave 'your muggles' to be kissed by dementors?"

Harry shrugged, "I hate them enough for their deaths to be irrelevant to me, just … not quite enough to wish dementors on them," he shrugged again.

Moody looked confused.

"If they'd been even the slightest bit hufflepuff to me, or even fed me, I might …"

Harry shivered, but they had fed him, later. They had … Aunt Petunia had brushed his hair and wished him well with 'that girlfriend of yours, Hermione was it?' It wasn't nearly as much regard as any being deserved, but there had been some.

"Do you want me to visit my muggles that weekend to protect them from two dementors pretending to have gone rogue?" suggested Harry, "Or do you want me to march upstairs and explain that as I live with a mage family now, this address is out of date, as is their responsibility to keep track of the muggles I used to live with?"

"Both of those are acceptable to me," said Moody, "what backup would you wish to take along?"

Harry shrugged, "I'm not really proficient in planning for having backup. What do you recommend?"

Moody shrugged, "Yeah, You missed about 70% of your chances to call for backup on the fear analysis forms I gave you. So … What message do you want to send?"

Harry smiled, "Lord of Potter is not amused, please refrain from invading my privacy. Is there an easy way to destroy dementors?"

"Not published in Great Britain."

"Where would I need to go to look it up?"

"Anywhere that dementors are not kept for war material, but near enough neighbours to a country that does."

"Merlin," sighed Harry, "so … Brussels?"

Moody gave him the most poorly executed 'innocent look' imaginable, then cleared his throat, "let's move on to another topic before I have to arrest you for treason."

"Yes," agreed Harry, "That sounds like a good idea. Uhh … so … speaking of … is there some place I can go to buy stacks of fear analysis forms."

"I made those up myself, with a little inspiration from the industry standard task safety datasheets, that the maintenance department personnel are supposed to fill out before starting anything, and adjusted the vocabulary to be more age appropriate, and less employment specific. Then I twinned them repeatedly. Feel free to go down to maintenance and ask for a legal pad of safety datasheets. Or just copy one from your homework. And twin it yourself."

"Oh. Alright."

Several seconds of silence.

"So you want someone well versed in the muggleborn protection acts, for backup when you go downstairs to the records office, and someone well versed in the patronus charm and muggle worthy excuses when facing the dementors?"

"Sure," agreed Harry, "How are we going to manage to convince my muggles to let me in the house, never mind another person for backup."

"Disillusionment?"

"I'd rather have Hermione Granger or … or Susan Bones, at least my muggles believe in romance."

"Susan Bones!?"

"Susan's mouth is dirty enough, I presume she wouldn't mind the ruse that we're there to shag out of sight of chaperonage, even though our actual plan might be something more akin to sleeping on conjured camp beds on opposite sides of the room in full armour with wands in our hands and backup wands in our holsters."

"I wouldn't count on that," said Auror Moody, "And I wouldn't wish the task of convincing her Aunt on anyone."

"Ok," said Harry, "How about … err … how about my cousin Tonks."

"Who's she?"

"Recent auror graduate, still on the protection detail rotation, I think."

"Hmm, why her?"

"Same reason as Susan, she can act, she also spends enough time around her father's family to be more proficient with muggle worthy excuses than most non-muggleborns I've met."

"Ah!" said Auror Moody, "good good, who was the other idea, Hermione Granger?"

"A girl in my year, top of her class, the girl my muggles already think is my girlfriend."

"Patronus charm?"

"I believe so."

"Is she? Your girlfriend?"

"Depends on your definition, probably not."

"You youngins, trying to complicate everything."

"I am not," said Harry.

"Alright, romantic interests, in general, and in the minds of youngins in particular, complicate everything."

"No argument," said Harry.

"Get out, let's talk again a few days before this date."

"Agreed," said Harry, "Um, speaking of things Susan's aunt knows: have you told her about the relics?"

"She's fully briefed."

"Good."

"Did you know that the last one moved from the castle?"

"Yes," said Harry and dug in his bag, "Susan found it … Excuse me, Susan found something, which she claimed was our relic, by virtue of the fact that it was the only interesting dark thing behind the wall we couldn't get through, and tributed it to me in exchange for … a place in my inner circle, which surprised me, given that I didn't know I had an inner circle."

"And what did you answer her?"

"I ran it by my inner circle," said Harry, "They said 'provisionally, yes.'"

"And did Susan accept a 'provisional yes'?"

Harry nodded, and set the dragon hide package on the desk, "She also said for me not to open it, and that if it can be cleansed without damaging it, and if no heir is known, she wants it back. If an heir is known she wants credit for finding it, and if it cannot be cleansed without damaging it, she wants as little publicity as possible in connection to it."

"Makes sense," said Moody. And slid it to the corner of his desk, before standing and unlocking a drawer in a filing cabinet.

"You can see right through it, can't you."

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"Ravenclaw's lost diadem."

"It's real?! … oh, and cursed … that is so unfair."

Moody shrugged, and moved the package into a drawer and made a show of locking it, "dark lords have a way of polluting everything they get their hands on. In this line of work, you get used to it eventually."

Harry shrugged, "You'll tell me as soon as they're all destroyed, or for that matter, even mostly destroyed except for the last two to make the machine work?"

"We've been experimenting with the less valuable ones, no methods yet to cleanse without destroying," said Moody, "I'll pass this one along, I suspect it is the most valuable, or right after Hufflepuff's cup."

Harry nodded, "Susan also asked for second refusal on the cup, if the heirs didn't want it for some reason. She says there are still heirs around and it was stolen."

"So that's where our leak is," said Moody, "I was wondering."

"Leak?"

"I came across a paper-trail of an intern working a stolen property trace for the cup back during the school year, Susan witnessing our search brings this full circle."

"Ah," said Harry, "Good."

"Depends," said Moody, "do you want to research dates to prove whether Susan had that research done before or after she 'joined your inner circle'?"

"She had it done before," said Harry.

"And you trust her not to be a mole for her aunt?"

"I'd rather she was a mole placed by her aunt," said Harry, "No … no I don't. I'd rather count her as a friend, and I'd rather she keep her Aunt abreast the important news in my life, just in case."

"Just in case what?"

Harry stared at him.

"I was recently tempted. The temptation itself, and my reaction to it were both startling. And while I did not give in, it was pointed out to me that keeping witnesses around can be a tool towards keeping things civilised, not only for my enemies, but also for myself. I might not trust Susan's sense of ethics as well as I trust some of my other friends, but I'm well aware of her connection to power that can crush me if I move too far."

Moody nodded, "would you like some advice?"

Harry shrugged, "I'll listen to it. If I can understand it, and believe it, perhaps I'll implement it."

"You should tell her that," said Moody, "Tell her that you want her to warn you away, whenever you act or talk as if you are tempted or planning to break the law. And that you'd rather live knowing that she's willing to tell on you, rather than live knowing that you can hurt people with impunity, and of course that you'd value her ability to warn you away before you act in a way that could get you arrested."

Harry closed his eyes and thought that through, first from his perspective, then from Susan's and then from Amelia's if Susan bothered to mention that conversation.

"Yes, I see," said Harry, "I'd rather she know the rules of warning and tattling that I'd like her to live by, rather than feeling scared and frustrated that she knows I'm doing something illegal and not trust me to listen to her warning, or not dare tell her aunt, or not dare not tell her aunt."

"Good," said Moody.

...-...

Armour

When lunchtime came, Tonks and one of her friends escorted Harry to Mr. Engelbart's leather shop to pick up his armour, and to Harry's surprise and immense relief: basilisk hide combination holsters / forearm shields, like he'd bought for Professor Snape.

"How did you know?" said Harry, immediately switching them for his dragon hide holsters.

"From the way you wanted the sleeves to fall," said Mr. Englebart, "Notice these loops here and here, you can connect the sleeves to your holsters, giving you more precise control how the sleeve-flaps hang, or leave them apart for greater freedom of movement."

Harry tried that, and tried several moves which half-way tied together some of his ideas about how dragon hide armour could be used in battle, and kung fu philosophy of stringing together moves for common self defence situations.

The huge pleats of fabric hanging from his elbows did not make sense, unless he were trying to look like a bat or dragon. Or unless… "How did you know?" said Harry.

"You asked for armour," said Mr. Englebart, "not duelling harness, or hit wizard kit, armour isn't … Do you know how the spell resistance of basilisk differs from the spell resistance of dragon-hide?"

"No," said Harry.

Mr. Englebart picked up Harry's arm and cast a bludgeoning hex into the fold. It stopped and hovered there until it dissipated.

"Dragon hide absorbs magic so quickly that it is rarely more than faintly scarred by spells meant to destroy. Basilisk hide, bends space and time, the spell slows to a stop but in most ways continues to act as if it is still moving. Until it has outlasted its normal expiration and dissipates. Basilisk hide is more impervious to most things, but significantly less against several anti-ward spells."

"Fiendfyre?" said Harry.

"Goes through it like butter," said Mr. Englebart.

"Understood," said Harry. "How is this relevant again?"

"You didn't ask for hit wizard kit, you asked for armour. Duelling harness is to keep from getting permanently hurt in a mock battle, Hit wizard kit is for surviving real battle long enough to put down your adversary. Armour is for bodyguards to survive anything for as long as possible, and bring their charges through unscathed."

In other words: there is a reason why it seems like I am wearing enough material to protect two people.

"Long ago a cloak over hit wizard kit was considered standard, usually very heavy wool with a huge load of protective enchantments if neither dragon hide nor acromantula silk were available. But a configuration more like this was found to require a third as much material, be easier to direct into or out of the line of fire as needed, and less likely to obscure the wearer's sight at an awkward moment. But there is a slight trade off in drag on movement, so practice with it to get used to it."

"Thank you," said Harry, "It's exactly what I wanted, I just wasn't aware what is state of the art beyond hit wizards." He tried to blink away the fog.

"This hasn't been state of the art for centuries," said Mr. Englebart, "Because no one breeds basilisks anymore, thank you very much for the chance to bring the research up to date."

"Oh," Harry blinked, then smiled, "You're welcome."

Mr. Engelbart patted him on the shoulder, then went back to pointing out where there was extra material hemmed away in case he kept growing, in pleats down his back, next to his buttons, and around his ankles.

"Put your hood up," said Tonks, "I want to see how much it covers."

Harry put his hood on.

"Not bad," she said, "is it impervious to colour change charms along with everything else?"

"Yes," said Mr. Englebart, "Hence the strongly worded disclaimer next to the dye preference request."

Tonks nodded, "I suppose black was the most neutral choice of colour then."

"Actually," said Harry, "I chose dark grey-blue, as usually even more neutral and better at blending in than black."

Tonks nodded, "It's a good choice, and it's not like you cannot wear something over it."

"Not without unlacing the sleeve flaps," said Mr. Englebart, "which is specifically designed to be possible. Though I will mention that it will get tedious to do often."

Harry nodded, "How about disillusioning it to show what I'm wearing under it."

"Probably would make the thing under bunch and wrinkle oddly," said Tonks.

"Probably," agreed Harry.

"Also the disillusionment charm doesn't work that way," said the other auror.

"Not the standard one," agreed Harry, and pulled his wand and pointed it into his collar, just to the side of the sizing pleat, MINE he thought with all his might.

Tonks flinched, and blinked, "No, that doesn't work the way you want. Whatever it was you wanted."

"What is the effect?" said Harry.

Tonks looked away and tried not to giggle.

The other auror just shivered and looked just barely off to the side.

Mr. Englebart kept looking him square in the eye, "Looking for some kind of 'emperor's new clothes' effect? Because I think it was more effective than you meant it to be."

Harry sighed, "fine, never mind, Finite."

Mr. Englebart shook his head.

Harry shrugged out of the armour which required unlacing from his holsters. He found his symbol on the shoulder lining and cast the finishing spell with more exact aim. His symbol vanished and his auror guards relaxed. There were lots of other symbols stained into the lining.

"That," said Tonks' colleague, "Is why you cast 'notice me not' on the entire person, not on just their clothes."

"Understood," said Harry.

"What do they teach children in school these days?" she asked Tonks.

"Not enough about warding," replied Tonks instantly.

"Apparently," said the other auror, "Is it time for lunch yet?"

"It should be soon," agreed Tonks, "if it isn't already."

"What do these symbols do?" said Harry, "this group is for temperature control?"

"Yes," agreed Mr. Englebart, "Reptile hides are known for poor ventilation and poor insulation. Those should help with both, they should be aggressive enough for working in. If you find it a bit too cool, wear another layer under it."

"Alright," said Harry, "what's the rest?"

"This group here, obviously unfinished, transfigures sweat into the potions ingredient or ingredients of your choice, pick your favourite smell basically," a shrug, "I hope your tastes are simple and have a short rune cluster, or even have a rune cluster. Also be sensible and don't pick a skin irritant."

"Right," said Harry, "What else … are these other loops to add … strips of lining material for additional enchantments?"

"Yes," said Mr. Englebart, "Parchment will work in a pinch, but what you want is a soft leather like this, split cowhide or similar."

"May I have some?"

"How much do you want?"

Harry shrugged.

"Do you have a specific project in mind, or are you a dabbler."

Harry smiled, "I'm a dabbler."

Mr. Englebart picked up what appeared to be an entire cow's worth of leather and put it on the counter, followed by a knife, a contraption that might be a size-large calligraphy pen / brush but made out of steel, and a spool of quarter inch strapping.

"Thanks, How much to I owe you Mr. Englebart?"

He named a price, about a third lower than Harry would have expected for dragon hide. He blinked, then remembered, the hide was already paid for, it was only the labour, (and apparently, the historical research) that he needed to pay for. Also extra lining and enchanting tools to play with.

Harry nodded, "Gringotts' draft or go and come back?"

"Gringotts draft is fine," said Mr. Englebart and reached under the desk, before shoving an almost completed form at him. Harry filled in the rest, then rolled the cow hide tight enough that it would slide into his belt pouch.

.

In the afternoon, Harry had to accompany Tonks on another protection detail: A German diplomat's children. Nominally only his youngest son, but actually both his children. His oldest daughter was eighteen and nominally permitted to wander off when she pleased, and catch up again later, which seemed to fit her personality better.

So they did yet more shopping in Diagon Alley then muggle London, except this time it was as tourists and bodyguard / guides, instead of as locals with real shopping lists.

In muggle London Harry felt ridiculous in armour with shield flaps connecting elbows to pants and pant leg to pant leg, and turned into Leona just to make sure the stares were because it was odd, and not because there was a cross gender issue for the crowds to be interested in.

Also for the added anonymity.

.

...-...

Clubbing

Content warning: casual gender-bending for privacy.

A jack rabbit appeared over Harry's homework, It was bigger than Harry had been when he first met Draco.

"Watcher, Harry," it spoke in Tonks voice, "Do you want to go clubbing this evening? The music will be rock and/or punk. You know: the music that goes best with your hair dye. Our little prince friend asked to go, (and since I know the best places, don't you know?) I'm in charge, be ready by six if you want to come, dress code is black or ratty or both."

"Oh!" said Harry, "Sounds like fun, why ratty? Which ratty?"

The rabbit disappeared. A minute later it was back: "Ratty like: cut up so that there is heavy ribbons to shake and swirl to the beat as you dance, not ratty as in you've worn it completely out."

"Like your skinny jeans, shorts. Got it."

The rabbit left, then came back, "Yes, in a sense, but the important thing is to be able to move, loose or baggy clothes, isn't unusual. Dress so that you can move, and even better if your clothes can also move. Hair too, if you want."

"Got it," said Harry, "Yeah, I guess I don't mind unpinning my braids for the evening."

The rabbit disappeared.

It reappeared just long enough to say, "See you at six," and then instead of turning tail and vanishing, it simply faded away and dispersed.

.

By the time Tonks apparated home to pick him up, Harry had reviewed his clothing options, and parsed Andromeda's mutterings about the disreputable sorts of places her daughter liked to dance. And he'd consulted the weather predictions, and decided to go as Leona, yes, in skinny jeans, but also in basilisk armour.

She didn't take her braids down, but she did change out some of the transfigured glass beads for brass. So that everything would swing better.

.

And so, Leona found herself in a muggle pub. With an annoyed auror escort, and her very enthusiastic cousin Tonks, who was doing her best to teach Leona and 'the princeling' how to dance to this version of punk-rock.

Which was weird. But Leona thought it might stand her in good stead, if she was ever faced with the weird sisters again.

.

By and by, the princeling had tired both of lessons from Tonks and of dancing with Leona, and Leona had a chance to rest and get some refreshments, and sit close enough to Tonks to get a back rub and give and get a shoulder snuggle.

"Merlin," said Tonks.

"Huh?" Leona looked up.

"Hot guy at four o' clock."

Leona looked, Dudley and Piers were scoping the place, then moving toward the bar.

"Which guy?"

"The predator, not the scavenger."

"You want me to nab him for you?" said Leona.

"What makes you think you'd be more successful that me?"

"I don't know," said Leona, "That I know some muggle martial arts styles, and their banter?"

"I'm not as illiterate as all that," said Tonks, but she didn't seem sure.

Leona caught Tonks making another glance towards the princeling, and whispered, "Because you don't want to leave line of sight from the young lord or whatever."

Tonks shrugged, then nodded, "good point."

"Give me a minute," said Leona, hopping up and approaching the pair.

.

"Hey Big D," said Leona with fake shyness, "Hey Polkas."

Dudley turned to look at her, "Hello?" he said, "Do we know you?"

"Leona Tonks," said Leona, "Remember, we were in primary together, you know, ages ago."

"I don't remember you," said Dudley, "Do you Piers?"

"No, don't think so," said Piers.

Leona shrugged, "Not surprised, you stayed pretty busy keeping track of your little cousin. Say, is he around?"

"Nah," said Dudley, "He ran away or moved in with his girlfriend or something, it was weird, but good for him, you know?"

"Already?" said Leona, "I thought he was our age."

Dudley looked ashamed, and a little sad, and a little angry.

"Anyway," said Leona, "ya wanna meet my new step-sister for a minute? Or you going to dance first?"

Dudley and Piers shared a look, then shrugged, and made gestures that had her leading the way back to Tonks' table.

"So, do you come here often?" said Tonks.

Shrugs, "Nah, we just thought we'd check it out, heard the food was good."

Tonks nodded, "we heard the music would be good tonight."

Dudley nodded appreciatively. Then gave Piers a look, then he stood, and held out a hand to Leona.

Leona caught his eye and tipped her head toward Tonks. His eyes went wide, but he took a breath to steel himself, then turned to Tonks instead, "Lady, Yeh wanna dance?"

"Certainly, sir," said Tonks. Then stood up and followed him to the floor.

Piers looked after them, momentarily confused.

Leona was amused to see Tonks leading the dance, not that this music seemed to have steps set enough to need a leader and a follower.

Piers leaned forward, "Nice kit: goth and punk and tribal at the same time."

"Thanks," said Leona, "do you dance?"

Piers shrugged, "some, you wanna?"

"Shame to waste the music," said Leona.

"Sure," said Piers, and stood up.

.

"I'm getting the weirdest vibes from these two," hissed Tonks into Leona's ear, "what are you getting?"

"Dudley is a squib, and doesn't know it," said Leona, "Piers is smarter, but knows less."

Tonks nodded.

The dance brought them together again, "Hey Duds," said Leona, "you a boxer now or something?"

"Yeah," said Dudley, putting his dukes up for a moment, bouncing a few steps, then going back to the way he was dancing before, but with a twinkle in his eye.

"Good grief," said Leona, "is that how you lost the weight?"

"Part of it," said Dudley.

"Well you're looking good," said Leona, and let the dance turn her around to face Tonks again.

Tonks was watching her with appraising eyes.

"What?"

"Keep guessing," shrugged Tonks.

.

"You two still live in Surrey?"

"Yeah," said Piers.

"The Kung Fu dojo still there?"

"Yeah," said Dudley, "You know it?"

"Had a cousin went there," said Leona.

"Oh, I get it," said Tonks, and slapped Leona on the back of the head, and stalked away.

"What's that for," said Piers.

"I finally managed to trick her about something," said Leona, "Then she caught me, now she's pouting."

Dudley stared back and forth between Leona and Tonks' retreating back.

"Should I go after her?"

Leona shrugged, "you like girls hot and temperamental?"

Dudley shrugged, and backed off to think about it.

"Do we know your cousin?" said Piers, "The one from Dudley's dojo?"

"Probably," said Leona, "it's not that big a dojo."

"Who?" said Dudley.

Leona shook her head, but grinned playfully.

Dudley grabbed her robes by the shoulders, her training took over hard enough that Leona knocked his hands away and reached for his temples, but he was ready for that and stayed out of her way.

He put his dukes up again, but with open hands this time, and he bounced on the balls of his feet much more than mere dancing called for.

Leona mirrored his hands, but she stayed in the stance that the interrupted defence drill had left her in.

They stared at each other.

Leona flicked her head to the side, "there's no pads on this floor, you really want to go at it?"

"Nah," said Dudley, "How much d'your cousin teach you?"

"A bit," said Leona, "Not as much as your Dad."

Dudley processed for several seconds, then backed off, slowed down and stared at her.

He mouthed something quieter than the music and stepped forward catching her arm. Pulling back the sleeves to look at the wands tucked along her forearm. He looked up again, "Harry?"

Leona grinned, nodded, "Yeah, but, I told you it's 'Leona,' at least when my hair is bleached and my chest isn't tied down."

Dudley stared at her chest for a bit too long, then back up at her eyes, "How in the world?"

"You want the truth, or the lie you're allowed to tell?"

Dudley shrugged, grabbed her arm again and dragged her out the back into the quiet 'talking yard' that some pubs have, in case the music is too loud, and you don't want to settle up, go outside, talk, come in again and have to pay the cover charge all over again.

"What's going on?" said Dudley.

"Bad wizards are starting the war up again," said Leona, "that's why I bought armour, and have to hang around with police when I'm in public."

Dudley nodded, "this about, you 'being a peer' again?"

"Yeah."

"They let girls be peers?" said Dudley.

"Yeah, why?"

"Your girlfriend was on about them being backward that one time, Mum too when she thinks no one could hear."

"Oh," shrugged Leona, "wands and potions are better equalisers than guns or bicycles, muggles have had guns cheap enough to 'make men equally dangerous' for about two hundred years, and bicycles for one hundred to make women equally mobile, mages have had wands for 2000 years to make women and men equally dangerous, equally helpful, equally mobile. And potions for only a bit longer."

"Yeah, but …"

"Vikings let women be soldiers," said Leona, "some American natives too, it's European muggles that were backward, about that."

"Oh."

"Mages still have a crazy amount of slavery going on, though," said Leona, "So muggles are a bit ahead on that one."

"It's not like we don't still have credit card addicts," said Dudley, "Aunt Marge calls that slavery too, and it's still legal."

"She's not wrong," said Leona, "there's addictive drugs too."

He nodded.

.

"I'll probably visit near the end of the month," said Leona, "and maybe stay for a few days."

"Oh, why?" said Dudley, "That's in less than a week."

"They're going to send some things there to kill me on my birthday, I found out and have been preparing to face them, the faster I deal with it the fewer people will be in danger."

Dudley huffed, "you know what sensi says about walking into ambushes."

"You never have as much surprise as you think you do?"

"Yeah," said Dudley, "And there's nothing as dangerous as assuming you have surprise, when you don't."

"So, current question is how many friends I should bring, in order to be sure that I have overkill instead of just surprise."

"That'd make Dad spare," said Dudley.

Leona shrugged, "That can't be helped."

Dudley shrugged.

"If … if they get there before I do: If things suddenly get unnaturally cold or hopeless for no reason, run like hell, and if you feel faint, crouch face down, do not lay on your back, if you fall, keep your head down and your mouth covered, your head protected."

"What are we talking about?"

"Dementors, herm … think a mild form of demons, suck the warmth, brightness, hope, and joy out of everything. Keep away from them if you can, if you can't, at least keep them away from your face."

"And you can kill them?"

"No, I can merely weaponize happy thoughts to give them enough indigestion that they fly away."

Dudley frowned at her, "is everything magic so damn poetic?"

Leona shrugged.

"Is that all that can be done?"

"Also lay in a supply of chocolate, for post-exposure treatment."

He grinned, "That I can do, does it have to be dark chocolate or anything?"

"Doesn't have to be, but it does have to be real chocolate."

Dudley nodded, "I suppose mustard also works?"

Leona blinked, "Not that I've ever heard of, but … far be it from me to criticise experimental potions work, or anyone looking for an excuse to buy good mustard."

Dudley smirked.

.

"So how long have you been tying your breasts down?" said Dudley.

Leona shrugged, "whenever they're trying to show and I don't want them to?"

"I cannot believe I never figured that out," said Dudley.

"I can," said Leona, "you didn't always pay much attention to me."

"Yeah, but the corn rows, the … long hair, I thought you were just portraying a sissy, cause you wanted someone to fight, and I'd learned better."

Leona grinned, "maybe that was part of it."

Dudley looked away, and after a moment looked back, "you're … actually one of those crazy girls dad warns me about?"

Leona shrugged and grinned.

"No, I'm really asking," said Dudley.

"I'm carrying three wands and I'm wearing armour worth more than your dad's boss's car," said Leona.

Dudley's eyes widened, then he nodded.

"I bleached my hair and dyed it, to try to advertise exactly what kind of dangerous I am," said Leona, "do I need to do more?"

Dudley smirked, "Nah, I think it's perfect."

"Thanks."

Then scratched his temple. "Oh," he said, "Like the warning colours of venomous animals."

Leona shrugged and grinned.

He picked up her forearms again to look where her wands were stowed, and nodded, "self defence only, though; right?"

Leona nodded, "Sensi conditioned me that far at least."

Dudley nodded, "me too."

They looked at each other.

"Doesn't do anything to cure the masochism though, does it," said Dudley.

Leona cackled.

Dudley stepped inside her guard and pressed her against the wall, then pushed her chin up and wrapped his lips around hers.

She got her hands inside his hip and shoulder and pushed him back.

"Dudley!" she said.

"What?" he said with wide innocent eyes.

Don't tantrum, don't tantrum, don't tantrum.

"You're a terrible kisser," she said.

"So teach me?" he said.

She rolled her eyes.

He shrugged and stepped closer again.

"Stop, Dudley," she said.

"You know you want it," said Dudley.

"The kiss or the excuse to beat you up?" said Leona.

"Either one," said Dudley, "Probably both."

"Or to teach you to kiss properly, just to save some other poor girl the trouble," Leona sighed.

"All three then," said Dudley, "if you're the kind of crazy that Dad was warning me about."

Leona imagined Nim seducing him for the purpose of leaving him in a ritual circle somewhere, imagined herself seducing him just to ruin him for normal girls, or girls whose last name wasn't Black, and then leaving him hopeless, in revenge for how hopeless he'd made Harry's life for ten years. Imagined Tonks…

"You're not wrong, but … it's kind of sudden, alright, let me have a day or two to think about it."

"Sure," said Dudley, "It can be a birthday present?"

"Early or late?" said Leona. Mine or yours?

"Why not both?" said Dudley.

Why stop at kissing? In other words. Was he getting more subtle, or was that Leona.

"I'll think about it," said Leona.

His eyes twinkled and he patted her cheek, then dropped his hand and stepped back, and out of her space, except, still holding her left wrist in his right hand. Was that a bid for some control, or was that reassurance that there was a wand and it was solid? Not a figment of his imagination, that the girl he'd met was his cousin and magic.

Was the cheek-pat, hand drop a sincere effort to move things back toward a safer form of affection, except he was clumsy. Or had he really planned to 'accidentally' pet her breast.

He started back inside, she let herself be dragged.

They danced for a minute or two, until the end of that song, then Leona broke free and returned to Tonks' side. Dudley followed, but kept his distance. Piers and now Malcolm followed him.

.

Tonks gave them all an assessing stare as they took places at her table, but did not uncross her arm, a waiter appeared, Dudley ordered a pint and a sandwich, and said he was buying everyone at the table the same, if they wanted.

Tonks glared at Leona, She ordered just the sandwich, She didn't know much, but the impression she'd gotten in France was that hop beer, ale, and most other things served 'by the pint' were not as tasty as butterbeer, and everything not served 'by the pint' was stronger than she wanted to drink in public, when there was a dark lord looking for her, or for muggleborns.

Malcolm also ordered a sandwich and Piers ordered both.

Finally Tonks thawed enough to get a sandwich.

When the waitress was gone and everyone was talking again, Tonks leaned over, "What's the real story?"

"How much have you already figured?" said Leona.

"You knew them already," said Tonks, "They didn't know Leona."

"The alpha is my cousin, the others helped him beat me up, until I talked his dad into getting us martial arts lessons."

Tonks nodded.

"Martial arts is for defence only," said Leona, "the conditioning is pretty good, but it doesn't completely stop you from picking fights, just usually doesn't let you be the first to resort to violence."

"You want help leaving him K.O. in a dark alley somewhere?"

"Nah," said Leona.

"You want help taking him home?"

"Nah," said Leona, "do you?"

"No, How old is he even?"

"Fifteen … the day before the third task."

Her face closed up, "Squib you said? How much chance he wished your cat ill?"

"Not that I know of," said Leona, "Hey Dudley, you wish for anything weird about me on your birthday?"

"No, why?" said Dudley, "Something weird happen to you on my birthday?"

"The next day, my cat got catnapped."

Dudley winced, "No, I didn't wish for anything like that, you're cat is cool though, you get her back yet?"

"No, not yet," sighed Leona.

"They send you a ransom note?" asked Malcolm.

"Not yet," sighed Leona.

"Humph," said Malcolm, as if this was indictment enough of horribly incompetent catnappers.

.

"What did you and Big-D talk about out there?" said Tonks, "And stop trying to change the subject."

"Some flirting, but mostly I just told him to buy enough chocolate for party favours and never faint face up," said Leona, "Just In case my birthday packages arrive before I do."

"What birthday packages?"

"Two dementors," said Leona.

"You're expecting an assassination attempt?"

"Merely preparing for one."

"From who?"

"Do you know a D. J. Umbrage?"

"… Yes," Tonks shuddered, "How many factions want you dead?"

"All of them, I think. Haven't figured out why for any of them."

"All of them?"

"Everyone except Amelia Bones, and I'm also unclear on why she likes me, I assume it's a pawn thing just like it has been with everyone else. So I have no illusions that it might change dangerously if she figures out Susan was … might have been, crushing on me earlier."

Tonks shuddered, "I told you to stay away from that one."

"I definitely heard you," said Leona.

"What about Dumbledore?"

"Also doesn't mind if I get myself killed, merely isn't pushing buttons to make it happen, just giving me disappointed looks if I neglect to accept every possible chance to risk my life for everyone, instead of prioritising family, friends, and innocent bystanders over all other collateral that in fact has nothing to do with me or my responsibilities."

"That does seem … telling, what's his game?"

"I have no idea, I think Sirius knows, and is … extremely unamused."

"Well obviously," said Tonks.

.

Their food came and went, Malcolm crossed the room to talk up another girl. Piers followed after, either for competition or wing man, it wasn't clear.

When Dudley turned to survey the room, Tonks hissed, "You were kissing him?"

"He tried to kiss me, and I pushed him away," muttered Leona.

"You didn't slap him."

Leona pointed toward the back courtyard, and stood.

Tonks nodded and led the way.

"When he kissed me," said Leona, "He'd just said some very self depreciating and unusually unbiased things about whether I was allowed to be transgender. I merely thought I'd cut him a little slack."

"You want him, you just don't want to want him?"

Leona shrugged.

"You want to come with me so I can show you how to pick up boys worth shagging, or you gonna go with him so you can get over him properly?"

"Let me get this straight," said Leona, "are you envious or jealous?"

Tonks shuddered, "Only jealous, not envious."

"Fine," said Leona.

"What do you even see in him?"

Leona shrugged, "Maybe I just … give a select few too many second chances."

"Like who?"

"Well Dumbledore has finally run out, if that's what you mean."

Tonks eyes narrowed and she glared back inside, and presumably at Dudley.

"He does give off the vibe of someone who might really do better, if given another chance."

Leona shrugged, "That's probably most of how his dad even managed to breed."

Tonks shuddered, "I don't know whether to nod knowingly and say 'forewarned is forearmed' or … or get you out of here before you go co-dependant with him."

"Or take me home and ruin me for lesser mortals?" smirked Leona.

"You cannot be flirting with both of us at once."

"I can," said Leona, "but I'll stop if you tell me I should."

"I'm telling you, that you should," said Tonks.

"Alright," said Leona.

Tonks made a face like she already wanted to take that back, "Mostly I think you shouldn't be flirting with anyone for whom you're out of their league."

"I'm not sure whether to accuse you of one kind of bias to accept such a system because most people don't pick their looks, or another kind because we both picked ours, or a failure to comprehend that most everyone in our league is older than you, and therefore won't give the time of day to a girl who turns fifteen in a week."

"Yes, well," said Tonks, "there are bigger clubs I was going to show you, once I was sure you knew how to dance."

"Oh!" Leona smiled, "Nice."

Tonks didn't return the smile, she crossed her arms.

"What?" said Leona.

"Now you've also got to convince me that when offered a wider selection you won't pick up trash worse than him?"

Leona shrugged and pointed at her hair, "I'm not yet convinced that I didn't make up this look to attract trash, and repel respectable people, that might otherwise connect me with myself."

Tonks shuddered, "So change it?"

Leona nodded, "and certainly not attract boys who might actually be heartbroken that while I might not mind a one night or one week stand of exploration, I'm actually into witches, at or near my GPA."

Tonks breathed hard and turned away, her arms still crossed. Then nodded.

"You should probably go have your one week stand of exploration, if you're gonna need to be there anyway," said Tonks, "it sounds like you already know the lay of the land so you'll have less of a territorial disadvantage than with anyone else. Good first experience and all that. A chance to learn what you like and don't like."

She started to walk away.

"Tonks," said Leona.

"What?"

"I don't want him, want him." said Leona, "I just don't want him eaten by dementors."

"You keep telling yourself that," said Tonks and stalked away faster.

Was she crying?

What in the world was the problem?

How should I even ask?

.

"Harry?" said Dudley tentatively, … an amusing facsimile of tender, "your step-sister left without you?"

"Yeah."

"Do you need a ride somewhere, you can ride with us. Safely even, Malcolm is designated sober tonight."

Leona looked up.

"God, you're crying, what happened, did she say something?"

"All the mean things I've ever thought about your Mom," said Leona.

Dudley glared suspiciously.

"She said them out loud, about me," Leona tried to wipe her eyes on her sleeve, which was slick reptile leather, not fabric, and didn't absorb enough to be worth the trouble.

Dudley sighed, "You gonna come home and sleep in your old room?"

Leona shrugged, "I could do that."

"Unless Mum is up and offers you Aunt Marge's room instead."

Leona snickered, "that would be kind of weird."

Dudley grinned at the irony, "I know, right? If she does, you should take it, cooler than the upstairs rooms."

"Good point," agreed Leona. Why did you have to remind me how hot it is out here?

.

There were the expected assessing glances from the other boys, but Dudley told them how it was going to be, and they kept their mouths shut.

...-...

The annoying wards

Content warning: Harry comes out as non-binary. But does he mean it, or is he only working really hard to play a part because currently lives are depending on him being a good chameleon.

"Where's your house," said Malcolm.

"Oh, of course, damn it!" exclaimed Dudley, "It's just really hard to spot in the dark, remember? Just let us off across here."

"Not this hard to spot," said Malcolm, and made an impatient three point turn, and overshot again, then swore, shrugged, and pulled over.

"What's going on?" said Leona.

"I'll show you in a minute," said Dudley.

The car pulled away.

Dudley turned back, "You know how … you know … uhh, you know how Dad always made extra sure you knew when people were coming over."

"Yeah?"

"Because otherwise they would not be able to find the house," said Dudley, "you do something that messes up other people being able to see the house, or the driveway even."

"Oh," said Leona.

"When you're not here for most of the year, it gets easier to see, when you come back, it goes back to normal, no one can visit until Dad tricks you into wanting them to feel welcome."

Leona sighed, "Oh, that again."

"What do you mean?"

"I've … been learning to do it on purpose," said Leona, "let me try something." She held up her right hand as if to pick up her perspective view of the house, and thought about dementors and death eaters coming to harm her family, the least valued members of her family but hers nonetheless.

"Mine," she said, bringing her hand down and around and squeezing her fist closed.

"Now I cannot see it," said Dudley, "The whole yard, everything inside the property line is … not there, only the sidewalk is … sort of visible."

"Right, the right-of-way belongs to the city."

"Now I can see the whole sidewalk, and the, 'verge,' thingy," said Dudley.

"Good," said Leona, "and I think it should be permanent."

"What?"

"Dudley," said Leona, "Listen carefully."

"Kay?"

"The property at #4 Privet drive is under the protection of Harry Potter and the House of Potter."

Dudley raised an eyebrow then glanced back at the house, "Alright, I can see it now, as clear as if I was actually in the yard."

"Good," said Leona, and sighed, "Let's go home."

.

"Mum, we're home," muttered Dudley as he unlocked the door.

"Is that letter of the law, instead of spirit of the law?"

"Of course," said Dudley, "Which kind of hooligan did you think I was?"

Leona chuckled, then heard what her aunt and uncle were getting up to. And shuddered.

Dudley leered at her knowingly for half a second, then rolled his eyes and shuddered too.

The leer may only have been an affectation because he thought he was supposed to.

"I don't remember that ever happening before."

Dudley shrugged, "Don't know when it started, but … when I came home from Smelting's for hols, Christmas before last, got a lot more common again after your girlfriend stole you."

"Intriguing," said Leona, "are you hoping for a sibling, or praying not?"

Dudley shrugged, "Don't really care. It'd be nice to have a new pet around the house with you gone. But … I hear they take years to train not to get into your things."

"You missed me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" said Dudley.

"Oh," said Leona.

He led the way upstairs.

All the broken furniture was absent from Harry's room, which meant, it was empty of all furniture except an ugly side table that merely had scratch marks from Harry's glasses always being placed in exactly the same spot. So that they could be found again in the dark.

Dudley said something in commiseration and sent her to 'Aunt Marge's room.

Leona went back downstairs.

As usual, Aunt Marge's room was locked.

She contemplated her choices: the unlocking charm, or try her luck asking Dudley where to find the key, or pushing him to the couch.

Trying to push him to the couch seemed like an amusing test of wills.

She went upstairs.

"Aunt Marge's room is locked," said Leona.

He gritted his teeth in thought, then shrugged, "You want to share?"

"You don't mind?"

"Why would I? My bed is huge enough for four people not to touch," he said, he glanced at her chest and then away, "take off only as many clothes as you want to."

"Likewise," said Leona.

She undressed to her shirt and drawers. She almost left more on, but it was blasted hot.

Dudley did as well.

Ten minutes later they kicked off the blanket.

Twenty minutes later Dudley apologised and took off his shirt also.

"It shouldn't be this hot," said Leona, "it cooled off outside hours ago."

"The whole stupid heat wave doesn't make sense," said Dudley, "I opened the window as soon as we got home, but I don't expect to be cool enough to want the blanket until … midnight or later."

"Alright," said Leona.

After several more minutes she reached out of bed and pulled her armour back up to use as a blanket instead, the inside was cooler than the outside.

When she woke in the night Dudley was close enough to be on one wing of her armour, and the blanket was over them both. She went to the loo and returned, She closed the window to trap the cool air while it was inside to be trapped. Then, finding Dudley too heavy to move without resorting to magic, she crawled in on the other side, and snuggled exactly as tight as she wanted.

.

Dudley woke to find a warm mass tight against his back, and something slick and cool wrapped around his arm. He extricated his arm and then his leg and rolled to figure out who.

"Har—Leona?"

"Hey Dudley," said the mass.

"You got closer," said Dudley.

"It stopped being hot out… inside, whatever," said the mass.

Dudley patted what he thought was a shoulder. It was a shoulder, and facing a different direction than he'd anticipated. Which helped his impression of the rest of the mass resolve into a human shape.

There was a tremble. Dudley inched back into position.

He was facing the other way now, but he was only getting as close as she'd been to him when he woke up.

"Are you alright?"

"No," sniffed … Harry.

"Harry?"

"Yeah," a bigger sniff.

"What's wrong?"

"I just … Ever since Christmas."

"What?"

"There's twins at my school, sisters."

"Yeah?"

"Share beds about a third of the time."

"Yeah?"

"Touch each other a lot, patting elbows and shoulders mostly, in public, but snuggle pretty tight in bed, apparently."

"Oh, yeah, like you and your cat?"

"Exactly."

"Alright," said Dudley, certain of the image he was being pointed to, uncertain of the actual subject matter.

"When I understood," said Harry, "I got so envious."

"You were going out with one of them?" said Dudley.

"Eventually," said Harry, "but my point was, I used to wish you and I had been raised as brothers, instead of as cousin and slave."

"Huh," said Dudley, "Yeah, I guess that would have been more 'normal'."

"After that," continued Harry, "I understood that siblings with birthdays less than a year apart are often as close as twins, there's even a word for it, 'Irish twins'."

"Huh, interesting," said Dudley.

"Is that all? 'interesting,'?"

"Sorry that I interrupted, keep explaining."

Harry shrugged, "I don't know what else to explain, I just saw twins snuggling more in a night than I had in my entire life until I got my cat."

"Oh," said Dudley.

Silence.

"Yeah, I guess Mum never hugged you and kissed you for so long that you got annoyed at it and tried to escape."

Silence, and then, "Is this the first time you're noticing that?"

"I guess," said Dudley.

Harry shuddered.

Dudley rolled closer and draped his arm over his shaking cousin.

A cousin that really didn't have boobs right now, something to worry about later.

The trembling didn't stop.

Dudley went over it all again, it would have been normal to treat Harry as a brother, it would have been normal, for brothers in the same grade to think they were twins, it would have been normal to hug more … at least if they were girls. But maybe Harry was …

Maybe Harry was a girl but Mum and Dad thought it was cute for Dudley to beat up on her, but that it would have not been so cute for him to sexually harass her, well gender harass her if that was a thing, which he would have done without knowing what he was doing.

Dad called her 'boy' most of her life, often didn't call her 'Harry' or anything.

Maybe she could be both, accidentally, just like hiding the house from unwelcome people, and Dad had called her that to make sure she stayed only one of them.

"Is it common for witches to change to boys and back by accident?" said Dudley.

"Not common exactly," said Harry, "but yes, there are some, that's called a metamorphmagus."

"Have you met any others?"

"That Miss Tonks character, you met last night," sniffed Harry, "Only one I know, she has it under control now, though."

"Is that what you are?" said Dudley.

"No," said Harry, "I have to use a spell."

"So … are you a boy or a girl?"

"Are you asking what shape my body is when I end all spells? Or are you asking what shape my spirit is, regardless of the body I'm experiencing the world through?"

That three hour transgender argument they watched on the telly, that one time. Mostly for lack of energy to break more difficult rules, nor inspiration what other rules to break.

"I want to know both," said Dudley, "and then feel free to tell me which answer is more important."

"The body you're hugging now, is my original one," said Harry, "no spells."

"Alright," said Dudley, "and what shape body feels most natural to wear?"

Harry pushed up and rolled over to stare at Dudley's face. He'd been crying for … for a long time.

"Don't freak out?" said Harry.

Dudley smirked, "That's Dad's job."

Harry shuddered.

Dudley hugged him close, then let go, in case he needed space.

Harry still stared at him in trepidation, but slid backwards out of bed and turned to assess the room.

He went to the middle of Dudley's kata rug, and his expression turned very focused. And then a lion stood there.

Dudley sat up so hard the bed creaked and Dudley saw grey around the edges. The lion stared at him … placidly.

"Oh, my god," whispered Dudley and climbed out of bed, his eyes never leaving the huge creature. He was bigger than Dad.

Dudley approached, paused for half a second at what ought to be the edge of claw range, but then he realised that wouldn't make enough difference to worry about, especially not in the dark. and took another step closer. He didn't touch, but he stayed as close as he dared without … but never mind that.

"It all makes sense now," said Dudley, not real sense, just the poetic sense that magic apparently usually made, "you never backed down, you never surrendered, you always fought back, you … you're a lion."

The lion nodded.

"I'm not even sure climbing trees counts as running away anymore."

The lion made a noise in its throat.

Dudley crouched, knelt, got up again, sat down sideways and patted the floor.

The lion curled up and put it's head in Dudley's lap.

That wasn't quite what Dudley had been expecting, but … if lions were cat-like when they felt like it, the way Harry's wildcat was cat-like when she felt like it…

Dudley stroked its head and neck where he'd seen Harry stroke Nim's head and neck. It sort of took both hands. And there were leftover bits of braid in its mane. And they didn't match up to Harry's braids. Leona's braids hadn't matched Harry's either. Did that mean the spell could braid hair. Or did it mean that the lion liked hair brushing at least as much as Harry did.

The lion snuggled closer, tighter, then more relaxed.

Its head was heavy. How heavy was the rest of it?

"And I could have had you for a snuggle pet instead of a torture pet," said Dudley.

The lion growled a little, but didn't try to sit up or claw him or anything.

"I'm sorry, I'm so dense," said Dudley, and stroked again. "Really really sorry." He moved his hand forward to stroke again, but it was Harry's head and black hair instead of a lion's head of red-tan hair.

"You didn't need to change back until breakfast, or whenever," said Dudley.

"Lions cannot cry properly," said Harry rubbing his eyes, "or talk."

"Oh," said Dudley, "alright."

"Also," said Harry, "We should be sleeping."

"Meh," said Dudley, "We could put that off until it's too hot to move."

"Now who sounds like a lion?" said Harry.

"What?"

"Is there any hunting you plan to do tonight, to save sleep time tomorrow when the sun is up?"

"Not really," said Dudley, "Should there be?"

Harry shrugged, and curled tighter.

"You're not dressed to be out of the blankets," said Dudley.

"And you are?"

"I've still got some fat left to burn off, you don't."

Harry twisted his arms together and shrank / bloated into a very nice female shape. Also tanned. She rolled her head to stare into Dudley's eyes.

A defiant, 'this fat?' didn't need to be said.

"Fine, whatever," said Dudley.

She smirked.

Dudley splayed his fingers so that his next stroke of her scalp went between all her braids.

She shivered and her eyes rolled half way back, so he did it again.

They rolled back even farther and she moaned. When she caught her breath she said, "you've got four days to stop that."

"Or else what?" said Dudley mocking some defiance of his own.

She shrugged, "I don't know, I'll think of something, might be horribly horribly … intimate."

He nodded. Nice threat, I'm not in elementary school anymore.

He stroked again, but it seemed to have less effect. And a fourth pass seemed to have no effect at all.

He put his hand down. She didn't react, not even in disappointment.

He put his other hand on her shoulder. She smiled.

"Let's go back to snuggling in bed, instead of down here."

"Alright," she said and sat up.

Dudley climbed back into bed and held up the blanket for her.

She stopped at the edge of the bed.

"Which form should I wear?" she said.

He shrugged, "Don't care, it's still you, right?"

She smiled like she was about to hug him again. But then she frowned, "I'm serious, It's your bed, which one would make you more comfortable?"

"I seriously don't care, I'd say the lion if that's what you like the best and there was room in the bed, but I don't think there is, and I'm not sure it could stand the weight anyway."

Also, was that what happened to Harry's other bed?

She swallowed, and nodded.

"Which one do you want to be wearing when Mum tries to wake me for breakfast?"

She smirked.

"And are you planning on telling Dad that you're Harry, or Leona." Then he got it, "Also, terribly uncreative to name the girl after the lion."

"Really?" she said, "really? I suppose you have something better?"

Dudley shrugged, "If I think of something before you leave, I'll tell you."

"Alright," she said. Her trepidation was cute, he might have to learn that.

She crawled in, crawled up under his arm and rolled her back to him. Snuggling tight like she knew what she was doing. Maybe she did.

Then he imagined their position from an outside perspective and realised it was the classic married people pose from Telly.

Or maybe it was just the classic humans snuggling to humans and then sleeping pose.

He put his arm down around her, and carefully held her stomach not her breasts. And tried to fall asleep.

This was nice.

But also kind of awkward.

He tried to relax.

She tensed.

He tried to stay relaxed.

She started to relax, by degrees and he found himself tense again.

He sighed and tried to relax all at once so as to not string it out for a long time.

She was tense again. Damn.

She rolled up on her arm, "You're huge, you know that?"

"Kind of," he said.

"I wanna try something," she said.

"Try what?"

She pushed him over onto his back. God she was strong.

She climbed on top of him, the leg between his thighs concerned him for a second, but before he could figure out whether it was a threat or an enticement she folded her arms along his sides, and tucked her head into the hollow of his shoulder. So that would be a 'no' on making out.

But a 'hell yes' about looking like they had been when Mum woke him in the morning.

Dudley smirked and relaxed finally.

It was nice to have a clear game plan.

.

...-...

{End Chapter 5}