Story Synopsis:

The team goes undercover for "Love Boat" and I have so many more questions than I have answers.

Why are Sly and Paige dressed like Lovey and Thurston Howell the Third? Where did they get the clothes?

Did Cabe have his windbreaker jacket and pants leftover from the '80s?

How did Walter and Cabe decide who would be the valet and who would be the personal trainer? Did they arm wrestle? Thumb wrestle?

What on earth is a valet and what do they wear?

Is Walter without a tie as good of a disguise as Superman without Clark Kent's glasses?

I hope at some point in the future to answer all of these questions and more with more of my sleep-deprived musings, but I realized that I would never get anything written/posted/finished if I waited for my weird writer imagination to answer all of the questions. I hope you enjoy!

Walter Reluctantly Goes Undercover

Once the team realized that the only way they were going to be able to infiltrate the cruise ship was as the Bonesteele entourage, it only took a moment before Walter realized his disguise options were unfavorably limited. "You think you're going to be the personal trainer?" Walter asked Cabe, unbelievingly.

"Yes, you have a problem with that?"

"I just don't think you'll be very convincing in the role."

Cabe gritted his teeth, refusing to be baited by Walter's obvious insult."What, you'd be more convincing?" Walter took a step closer to the older man and nodded. "And why is that, Walt? Why do you think you'd be a more convincing personal trainer than I would?"

"Don't say it, 197," Toby cautioned his friend, seeing the waves of irritation rolling off of Cabe.

"Because I'm significantly younger than you. By definition that gives me more muscle tone and greater bone density. All hallmarks of health and vigor." Walter crossed his arms and smirked.

"If this wasn't a matter of national security, I'd show you right now, who's in better shape. Have you ever worked out in your entire life? You wouldn't know a dumbbell from your elbow. No way you're believable as a personal trainer."

The confrontation between the two alpha males of Scorpion was threatening to get out of hand and Toby knew that it was time to step in and defuse the situation, pronto. "No doubt you could, Cabe, but we still need Walter to have all his bones and brain intact."

"Aww, I wouldn't really hurt the kid, just teach him a lesson." Cabe looked vaguely disappointed as his opportunity to give Walter a bit of comeuppance was slipping away.

Paige decided that she'd had about as much genius nonsense as she could handle for the moment, she stepped in front of Toby and placed a hand on Walter's chest. He looked down at her delicate hand on his shirt and his body language immediately moved out of confrontation mode. "We are done arguing about this, Walter. You are the valet. Cabe is the trainer."

Surprising even her, Walter grudgingly acquiesced to her wishes. "Fine." He turned toward his computer.

"I wasn't done speaking." Walter turned back to face Paige, his eyes seeking Cabe behind her. As she continued, Walter glared at Cabe. "While you guys figure out how to disarm and track the weapons, Sly and I will go shopping. I'm not exactly sure yet what Chaz and Alyssa Bonesteele would wear on a one percent of the one percent pleasure cruise, I can guarantee they're not shopping at The Gap," she paused, running her gaze over Sylvester's wardrobe choices, "Or wearing sweater vests."

"And I will figure out what the hell a valet does and how he would dress," Toby volunteered helpfully.

Paige nodded. "Remember, you can call Hetty if what Walter needs to wear won't be easily found, even on Rodeo Drive."

"Rodeo Drive?" Toby drawled.

"Yes, Rodeo Drive. Where do you think a young billionaire shops?" As Paige and Sylvester left for their shopping trip, Cabe tossed her the key to his house to pick up appropriate workout gear from his closet.

Cabe, Walter, and Happy poured over the specs for the ship for the most likely hiding place for the rockets.

Toby hit the internet and Downton Abbey reruns to find out what a valet does and what he wears. Chuckling to himself and planning the best way to catch blackmail evidence of Walter in a uniform, Toby called Hetty who graciously consented to send her assistant, Guffey, right over with the Valet uniform she guaranteed would fit Walter and help him blend in as… the help.

Within the hour, Sylvester and Paige returned from Rodeo Drive, with a new wardrobe and designer luggage. "I had to split this onto every credit card I own, just to pay for this stuff. Homeland better reimburse me or I'm going to have to go back to taking shifts at the diner for the next twenty years just to pay this off."

"Don't worry about it, kid. I'll make sure Homeland has you covered." Cabe reassured her.

Soon after, Guffey arrived, garment bags in tow and Toby ushered him in, directing Hetty's assistant to a relatively uncluttered spot of the building where he could hang them up. The team minus Walter followed him and watched with fascination as Guffey efficiently unzipped the covers to display Walter's options for his appropriate valet attire.

Walter was still preoccupied with disarming the rockets and didn't notice Sylvester's gasp at what Guffey revealed.

Even Toby felt for his best friend when he saw what was inside the garment bags. "Ah, hell no," he exclaimed. "Walt, you better come take a look at this."

Irritated at the interruption, Walter moved toward the rest of the group. "What could be more important than…?" Walter's mouth dropped open in shock. "I will not… There's no way in hell… Is this a joke… You have got to be kidding me…" Eventually, Walter lapsed into silence and simply stared at the abominations hanging in front of him.

"Looks like we broke Walter." Toby readjusted his trademark hat uncomfortably.

He was just trying to think of the right thing to say to convince Walter to at least consider putting on the valet's uniform when he was interrupted by Walter lunging for the garment bags. Faster than anyone else could react, Guffey stepped between Walter and the clothing. He looked like a trained fighter, ready to protect his uniforms with his life, which knowing the type of 'assistant' Hetty would hire, seemed likely.

"If you do not approve of the attire my boss has generously provided, that is entirely up to you, but you will not damage them." In a huff, Guffey quickly zipped the garments back into their protective bags and with a flourish gathered them and left the Garage with no further comment.

Paige watched the fleeing assistant with regret. "I'm not sure we'll ever get Hetty on board with helping us with appropriate attire for a case again once he reports what happened here."

"What was that, Walter?" Cabe demanded. "We need to be believable as the Bonesteele entourage. Now you've just lost us our last chance for suitable valet attire. We have to leave for the ship in less than twenty minutes and Sly, Paige, and I still need to change our clothes."

Walter scowled at Cabe. "If you're so worried about looking appropriate, you better go change your clothes, Personal Trainer," Walter spat out. "I am an adult and a genius, and my clothing choices for the case are most definitely not your responsibility."

The two men glared at each other for a few moments before Cabe turned and called to Paige and Sylvester. "Come on, you two, let's get changed and leave Walter to manage his wardrobe himself." The three of them headed to various areas of the Garage to find some privacy to change clothes.

After the others had disappeared, Toby and Happy watched in silence as Walter completely ignored the fact he was supposed to be a believable valet and turned his attention to practicing disarming the weapons one final time. With only minutes to spare before they needed to leave for the ship, Paige, Sylvester, and Cabe returned to the main area of the Garage, each dressed as their undercover persona.

Cabe immediately noticed that Walter had not changed clothes and moved to confront him. "I get it. You're upset with me, but you're going to blow the whole mission out of spite? We need to leave, right now. And you're wearing this?" He gestured to Walter's rumpled button-down shirt and tie with a sigh.

Walter didn't speak, just held Cabe's gaze as he slowly loosened his tie and yanked it over his head, then untucked his shirt, the tails slightly wrinkled, and picked up one of the pieces of designer luggage Paige had purchased to complete their undercover identities.

"Walter O'Brien, valet of Chaz Bonesteele, at your service," Walter snarked. "Is there anything else, Personal Trainer?"

Cabe knew when he was beaten. "No, I guess not. C'mon kids, let's go. We've got a bad guy to stop, regardless of what Walter is wearing."

15 June 2024