Chapter 26: Shaq and the Queer Lodge Pt. 2
The massive frame of Shaquille O'Neill had entered through the doors to the room of the Big Ballers where Shaq and his foolish, stupid and utterly insane pieces of fuck had been resting for days at the massive femboy resort lodge which was run by none other than Nick Saban's Alabama Crimson Tide where the mascot of the Ohio Buckeyes was sleeping with two anime body pillows in another room, but we aren't here to talk about whatever the fuck HE is doing are we?
"Brought some food from that fuckin' femboy hooters nearby, enjoy."
Shaquille O'Neill had set down the bag of chicken wings and all sorts of unspeakable hot sauces, Kobayashi Rindou who had been waiting for the food for years now had finally gotten her wish and ran over to Shaq, sitting down at the lodge table.
"Ah, Femboy hooters eh? Did they make these wings out of some thicc thighs or somethin, they look great... lemme just..."
Kobayashi Rindou dipped her searing hot wing into some ranch, eager to murder the fuck out of her tastebuds with eager fuckrage and excitement which titillated her tastebuds... stimulate your senses.
"Yeah, got em' at a femboy hooters... nearly got shot and killed by a bunch of dick-tuggin' fuckfarts who came in waves, buncha fuckin' pussies if I tell ya" Shaq spoke with raw fuckrage building in his pants, "Fuckin' bastards wanted to take down the Shaq... but ain't nothin' stoppin the great Shaquille O'neill, whether it be Skibidi Toilets or Free Throws."
Stocking Anarchy raised an eyebrow at Shaq's recount of his near-death experience at Femboy Hooters. She took a sip of her tea before setting the cup down, her curiosity piqued by his tale of death and destruction.
"So, what exactly did you see out there, Shaq?" Stocking asked, her tone a mix of amusement and genuine curiosity. "I mean, aside from the obvious femboys and those dick-tuggin' wankers you mentioned. Any more of those Skibidi Toilets or other weird shit?"
She leaned back in her chair, eyeing the bag of chicken wings with mild interest but more focused on Shaq's story for Stocking Anarchy preferred sweets rather than spicy shit, "And what's with those fuckin' wankers? They just come out of nowhere and start shit, or is there some kind of pattern to this madness? Are they a bunch of fuckin' bellends?"
Stocking's piercing gaze remained fixed on Shaquille O'neill, waiting for his detailed account of the situation outside. She wanted to get a sense of what they were up against and what they might encounter in New Orleans.
"Nah bitch, was probably a buncha' fuckin' petty-ass thugs n' bandits n' shit like that, gave them the ol' Shaq Attack and splattered their heads asunder with a slam dunk before runnin' away."
Stocking was a tad disappointed that they ended up being a bunch of NPCs and bots, nothing big or exciting like she had hoped... she went back to her tea and took out some sweetened wings which were laced with honey and cake, she only ate sweet things.
Shaq leaned back against the wall, shaking his head with a chuckle at Stocking's disappointed reaction. "Yeah, ain't nothin' special about those wankers. Just some low-life assholes lookin' to start trouble and take down The Shaq But trust me, I gave those cuntbags a taste of the Shaq attack, who knows what kinda freakshow's waitin' for us in New Orleans... I mean hell, I just got some wings from the rare and exclusive femboy hooters."
He grabbed a wing from the bag, dunking it in some hot sauce before taking a big bite. "These femboy hooters know how to make some damn good wings though. Almost worth gettin' shot at for."
Rindou spoke with her mouth full of chicken and in between bites. "Yeah, well, if those were just some random dick-tuggin assholes, it makes me wonder what the real danger in New Orleans is gonna be like. I'm ready to bash some heads in, though. No one's gonna stop me from gettin' my drink on after we finish this shit... and i've already had enough of these fuckin' cucks."
Ruiko Saten nodded as well, "Shaq's right. We need to stay focused on slaying these fools and if those thugs were just the beginning, who knows what we're about to face. Let's just hope it's not a whole city full of Skibidi Toilets or some other messed-up crap... though it probably is, bet there will probably be a bunch of satanic ritualistic shit."
Mika Jougasaki was sprawled out on the bed with a half-eaten chicken wing in hand, she looked up from her meal, her eyes weary but filled with sheer determined fuckrage which defied all expectations that Shaq had put upon her, She took a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking, her voice tinged with exhaustion and violence.
"Yeah, well, whatever's waiting for us in New Orleans, it can't be worse than the shit we've already seen," Mika said, taking another bite of her wing. "I mean, we've fought off Skibidi Toilets and God knows what else. What's a few more psychos or supernatural bullshittery compared to that?"
She sighed, rubbing her temple with her free hand. "I'm just tired, guys. Tired of the constant fighting, tired of not knowing what's coming next. But we have to keep going, right? No matter how messed up things get, we have to stick together and push through... I just wanna get back to my idol gigs and make cute TikToks n' shit."
Mika glanced around the room, her gaze lingering on each member of their group. "So let's get through this mission in New Orleans, kick some ass, and then maybe, just maybe, we can finally have a moment to breathe. And hey, if Rindou wants to get plastered on Bourbon Street after, well, I'll be right there with her... so long as they have some sweet drinks and pastries."
She offered a tired smile before returning to her meal, hoping her words had provided some semblance of comfort or motivation to the group.
"I mean like fuck yeah, I want to get plastered and fuckin' railed by some hot stud after this bullshittery bullshit, I mean this place kinda fuckin' sucks after all... I mean just outside of the city are a bunch of corpses tossed out like fags left to dry in the wind and next to them is a whole supply of Skibidi Toilets n' other fucked up shit" Spoke Kobayashi Rindou, having gotten drunk and tossing the bottle against the wall.
Rindou's tosspot antics came to an abrupt halt as Uiharu Kazari suddenly spoke up, having returned from a trek through the unholy bowels outside of the Queer Resort, having checked up on Lightning McQueen.
Uiharu Kazari stormed into the room, her face flushed with anger and raw, apoplectic fuckrage, eyes blazing as she addressed the group. "You frickin' fricks! Do you even realize how much noise you're making with your fucking gex!? We're supposed to be lying low n' hidin', not drawing every Skibidi Toilet and thug within a mile to our location with your drunken bullshit! You too Shaq, ain't no reason to piss off da' fuckin' thugs with your wing-tossin' bullshit!"
She shot a furious glare at Kobayashi Rindou, who was in the midst of another drink. "And you! Rindou, get your fuckin' shit together. We're not on some vacation, we're in the middle of a goddamn war zone! If you want to get plastered and screwed, save it for when we're not risking our lives every second!"
Uiharu's hands were clenched into fists at her sides, her frustration palpable. "I just checked on Lightning McQueen. He's in good shape, but we need to be ready to move at a moment's notice. We can't afford to be caught off guard because someone decided it was a good idea to throw a drunken tantrum."
She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. "Look, I get it. We're all tired and stressed. But if we don't stay focused, none of us are going to make it to Bourbon Street, let alone get out of New Orleans alive. So please, for the sake of everyone here, get your shit together."
Uiharu's fierce expression softened slightly as she looked at the group. "Let's just finish our meal, get some rest, and be ready for whatever comes next. We're in this together, and that's the only way we're going to survive."
Uiharu swiped Rindou's drink away and tosses it into the trash with a ludicris swish, having shot the bottle like Kobe Bryant would back in his prime... this was possible due to the fuckrage burning through her veins.
"Ey, what da fuck was that shit for, wanna go... faggart?" Rindou spoke, cracking her gnarled and bloody knuckles as fuckrage flowed through her veins with elfin fervor, her hands trembling and threatening to strange Uiharu with raw fuckrage.
"Ey what the fuck did you say to me, bitch faggart?" Roared Uiharu Kazari, not wanting to deal with any of Rindou's tosspot antics any longer, her anger coursing and flowing through her veins.
Rindou stood up, her chair screeching against the floor as she faced Uiharu Kazari, a savage glint in her eye. "I said, what the fuck was that shit for, you fuckin' faggart? You think you can just waltz in here and tell me what to do? I've had enough of your anal evacuating bullshit, you goddamn prick!"
Uiharu's fists clenched tighter, her fuck-fury matching Rindou's. "Bitch, who the fuck do you think you are? You've been nothing but a drunken, horny liability this entire time! I'm sick of your tosspot antics dragging us all down. You want to get plastered and fucked by some limp dick fuck at? Do it on your own time, not when we're all at risk, you stupid fucking cunt!"
Rindou stepped closer with their faces now inches apart from each other, her voice dripping with venom. "Oh, I'll do whatever the fuck I want, you uptight piece of shit! You think you're better than me? You think your little lectures and holier-than-thou attitude mean anything out here? Fuck you!"
Uiharu didn't back down, her voice rising in anger after all the tomfuckery that Rindou put her and Ruiko through "You're nothing but a goddamn liability, Rindou! While you're out here acting like a horny teen, the rest of us are trying to survive the bowels called Post-Apocalyptic Earth, so shut the fuck up, get your fuckin' shit together or get the fuck out of our way!"
Rindou's eyes narrowed, her rage boiling over into intensified fuckrage "I'm not taking orders from some self-righteous, sanctimonious bitch like you! You think you're tough? Let's see how tough you are when I smash your fucking face in!"
Uiharu felt her loins pulsate in angry fuckrage, ready to rip Rindou's fuckin' face off with her bare hands "Bring it on, you drunken whore! I've had enough of your cocksuckin' bullshit. You want to fight? Let's fucking go!"
The tension in the room was electric as a Wrestlemania event as the two women glared at each other, the air thick with the promise of violence and an equally entertaining catfight between these two chicks, the rest of the group watched from the other side of the room, unsure if they should intervene or let the two settle their differences in the only way they seemed to know how... fucking each other up.
But here comes Shaquille O'Neill who sauntered forth, grabbed both girls and suplexed the fuck out fo them with elfin fervor... he yelled at them, bellowed at them to shut the fuck up and to enjoy those fuckin' wings and chicken tendies that he brought which nearly costed him his fucking life... he had gone out and cockblocked the fight.
"Enough of this fuckin' bullshit!" Shaq bellowed upon Rindou and Uiharu with elfin fervor, his voice reverberating through the queer resort lodge. "I've had it up to here with you two fucking dumbasses! You think this is a goddamn joke? You think you can just fight each other while we're out here tryin' to survive this Skibidi Toilet apocalypse? You both need to shut the fuck up and get your shit together... if you need to walk around or rub one out, then fine... but enough of this arguing shit."
He pointed at the bag of wings and chicken tendies he'd risked his life to bring from the Femboy Hooters mear New Orleans "I nearly got my ass shot for these fuckin' dipshit wings! So you two better sit the fuck down, eat these fuckers and start acting like goddamn team players, none of that Joel Embiid shit or I swear to toss you motherfuckers out and let the Skibidi Toilets rip your skin off like I do to these fuckin' wings."
Shaq tore into a chicken wing, ripping off its skin and tearing off the soft chicken meat from the bone with an eager hunger that fueled this hulking beast of a man, that was the power of the Shaq and his unending fuckrage which boiled in his pants... simmering through his raging boner.
Rindou and Uiharu were momentarily stunned by Shaq's outburst which was filled with such fuckrage, that it got them to shut the fuck up... they glared at each other but reluctantly backed down, the raw intensity of Shaq's anger cutting through their animosity.
"And let me make one thing clear, motherfuckers" Shaq continued, his eyes burning with unyielding fuck-fury. "We're in this shit together. We've got a fuckin' mission to complete and I won't let any of your petty ass drama shit get in the fuckin' way. So, sit your pissed-off little asses down, eat the damn wings and get ready for New Orleans tomorrow cuz we've got bigger fuckin' problems to deal with than your dumbass bickering. Do I make myself clear, you fuckin' bakas?!"
Both Uiharu Kazari and Kobayashi Rindou bowed their heads and nodded in a sign of submission to the Shaq who had melted their defiance with his sheer fuck-fury and his nanomachine-infused loins... the animosity between Uiharu and Rindou tempered by the sheer force of Shaq's presence and authority... his massive biceps flexed and revealed his chisled and sculpted statuesque american body, 100% Natural American Body.
"Good," Shaq growled angrily, releasing them and stepping back. "Now, let's get our heads in the game and focus on what's ahead of us, we're gonna take down whatever the fuck's causing this Skibidi Toilet mess, and we're gonna do it as a goddamn team. No more bullshit."
Mika Jougasaki was awakened from her sleep by the earlier commotion between Rindou, Uiharu and Shaq, she stood up and cautiously approached Shaquille O'Neill. She could still see the remnants of his anger, but she knew they needed a plan.
"Shaq, what's the plan for tomorrow?" Mika asked, her voice tentative but resolute with fuck-fury, "I know we're waiting on LA Knight, but do we have any idea what we're supposed to do in New Orleans? We need to be prepared for whatever's coming."
Shaq took a deep breath, trying to push aside his lingering frustration. He knew Mika was right—they needed a plan, and they needed to be ready to rock the fuck out "Yeah, we're waiting on LA Knight's word, but we can't sit around doing nothing. We'll need to gather intel, scout the area, and figure out the best way to deal with those Skibidi Toilets and any other bullshit we run into. Once we get our orders, we'll move fast and hit hard."
Shaq's phone buzzed and he saw LA Knight's name flashing on the screen with elfonic fervor, Shaq answered the call from LA Knight, Shaq braced himself for whatever drunken nonsense was about to come through the phone from the fucking LA knight.
LA Knight's voice slurred through the speaker, "Hey, Shaq! You big sumbitch, you listenin'? I've got the goddamn pinpoint coordinates for that Skibidi Toilet manufacturing site. Fuckin' found it while downing a bottle of Jägermeister and wrestlin' with some Google Maps bullshit... the fuckin' interfaces work like piss n' vinegar."
Shaq rolled his eyes, but he knew this was the critical information they needed... from this drunk fuck of all people of course... "Alright, LA Knight, hit me with the coordinates. We need to know where to go and what we're dealing with."
LA Knight's voice grew more focused, albeit still slurred with the effects of excessive alcohol... "Yeah, yeah, it's in the Warehouse District, deep in the fuckin' heart of New Orleans. It's an old abandoned factory, real creepy goth shit. Got it marked on the map for ya. Address is 1337 Go Fuck Yourself Street and yes, that is the fucking name of the street... Get there and you'll see the place swarming with those toilet-human fuckers, you gotta hit 'em hard, Shaq, don't let 'em multiply. Fuck 'em up real good, you hear? Penetrate their defenses, thrust inside of the factory, go in and out...!"
"Heh, nice name" Muttered Rindou with a smirk, overhearing the name of the street through the speaker on Shaq's phone, "sounds like a very sweet and endearing name for such a lovely street."
Stocking rolled her eyes, a look of disdain crossing her face at the absurdity of such a street namre, "1337 Go Fuck Yourself Street? Seriously? Sounds like the kind of trashy shit I'd expect from a city like this. Real fuckin' classy, classy like a bunch of piss-ass drunk Eagle fans" she muttered, her tone dripping with sarcasm and her loins pulsating with fuckrage, "But I guess it fits, considering we're about to wade through a cesspool of Skibidi Toilets n' shit. Maybe this street name is just a reflection of the city's overall vibe—cheap, vulgar, and full of shit... just like that fuckin' Bourbon Street."
She took another sip of her tea, shaking her head. "I swear, if this mission ends with us getting ambushed on a street named 'Go Fuck Yourself', I'm never letting any of you forget it. Let's just get in, smash those toilet bowl freaks and get the hell out of this dump... I'm fuckin' sick of this place."
The rest of the group chuckled, their spirits lifted slightly by Stocking's cynical humor and dry fuckrage... not Shaq however, Mr. Shaq remained focused and he looked at everyone sternly "Alright, enough jokes. Get some rest, everyone. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day, and we need to be ready for anything."
With those words out of the way, the group of Shaquille O'neill settled down and began preparing themselves mentally and physically for the battle ahead of them... The Radical Factory at 1337 Go Fuck Yourself Street awaited and loomed before Shaq and his brethren.
Ruiko Saten had gone off from bed to seek the kinky love of her lover and former r/WallstreetBets investor named Jey Uso, the two had snuck off together in the queer lodge... despite both of them being fuckin' straight.
The pair had met online and Ruiko had called Jey Uso to the queer inn lodge to meet each other for their date and Ruiko was ready for some kinky love with the former member of the Bloodline of the WWE.
Ruiko Saten tiptoed through the dimly lit halls of the queer lodge, her heart racing with anticipation and nervous fuckrage. She reached the room where Jey Uso was waiting, her mind buzzing with excitement and a touch of nerves. She took a deep breath, steadying herself before knocking softly on the door where her fellow Redditor was.
When the door opened, she couldn't help but smile at the sight of Jey Uso. "Hey, Jey-Kun~" she whispered, her voice a mix of excitement and shyness. "It's... it's really you. I can't believe we're finally meeting in person. I've been thinking about this moment for so long, I can't even put it into words."
She stepped inside, closing the door behind her. "I know this place isn't exactly romantic, but I've been dying to see you. Ever since we started talking online, I've felt this... connection. Like we were meant to meet, you know? And now that you're here, it's like everything just falls into place."
Ruiko's eyes sparkled with eagerness as she took a step closer to Jey Uso, "I've been craving this, Jey. Craving you. I want to feel your touch, hear your voice in person. I want to make tonight unforgettable. Just you and me, no distractions. Let's forget about everything else and just be together, even if it's just for a little while."
Jey Uso's smile widened as he looked into Ruiko's eyes, his heart swelling with affection for Ruiko Saten... He had never expected to find love in such an unexpected place, but there was something about Ruiko that drew him in from the moment they first started talking online to the moment they first met for real.
"Ruiko," he said softly, reaching out to gently cup her soft cheek. "I've been looking forward to this moment too. Ever since we started talking, I knew there was something special about you. You're not like anyone else I've ever met, and I mean that in the best possible way."
He leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to her lips, his touch warm and gentle. "I'm here now and nothing else matters but you and me. Let's make tonight everything we've dreamed of, okay? Just us, together, in this moment..."
As their make-out session came to an end, Ruiko's thoughts turned momentarily to the group she had left behind, feeling a twinge of guilt for sneaking away without telling them. But the warmth of Jey Uso's embrace and the softness of his lips quickly pushed those thoughts aside for the time being.
"Jey-kun" she whispered, her voice barely above a breath as she looked into his eyes, "I... I feel like I should tell you something. I'm with a group of survivors, and we're on a mission in New Orleans. I didn't exactly tell them where I was going... I just needed to see you."
She paused, searching his face for any sign of judgment or disappointment. But all she found was understanding and affection from Jey Uso of the Bloodline.
"It's okay, Ruiko-chan" Jey replied, his voice soft and reassuring. "I understand. We all need to do what we can to find moments of happiness in this messed-up world of blood and death and if being with you is what makes me happy, then I'm not gonna let anything stand in our way."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, tapping away for a moment before holding it out to Ruiko. "Here, this is my phone number" he said, offering her his number. "Now we'll never be too far apart. No matter where we are, we'll always find our way back to each other."
With a soft smile, Ruiko offered her own phone number to Jey Uso before reluctantly pulling away from his comforting embrace.
Ruiko Saten waved softly as she made her way back to the door, her heart lighter knowing that they could stay connected even when they were apart as Ruiko was on a mission with Shaq and the group.
As she stepped out of the room and into the hallway, Ruiko couldn't shake the feeling of warmth and contentment that lingered from her time with Jey Uso but she knew she had to return to the group, to Shaq and the others who were counting on her... the group known as The Ballers.