Chapter 20: The Big Easy, New Orleans
DAZN ARE FRAUDS FOR CHARGING 64.99 FOR GARCIA VS HANEY WITH THE SUBSCRIPTION
Shaquille O'Neill and his crew of survivors have thus survived through the middle of the night which had dared to try and kill them, life had thrown a raging fuck-headed crack-addict in the form of Antonio Brown at them... but that did not dare to stop The Big Diesel and his crew of survivors... they were practically invincible and undeniable, such as the state of their group.
But when you think life is easy, it will always find a way to shit in your face...
Shaquille O'Neill twisted in bed as he went to sleep on the floor uncomfortably, his massive frame which hadn't aged in the slightest due to the nano-machines in his body was not able to sleep well without specialized beds and as a result, the Big Diesel had to uncomfortably sleep on the floor because while his titanic strength was his greatest strength, it was also by far his biggest weakness as he struggled to do damn near anything with his massive height and weight... he was a fucking mountain in human form, the greatest example of strength known to mankind... his strength once lending itself to be useful for tearing apart NBA defenses... now a factor of intimidation and raw terror which struck the heart of anything that dared to stand in his wake, thus was the Shaq and the raw height that he carried on his body.
Meanwhile on the other side of the Home Depot was Kobayashi Rindou, sprawled out and piss-ass drunk for all to see... this carefree and utterly unhinged woman was beyond saving, but that was without saying... she was deeply unhinged and mentally insane after the toll of alcohol, sex and her wildly promiscuous lifestyle had taken its toll upon the beautiful body of Kobayashi Rindou, a horrible shame for the schizophrenic, sexy-ass alcoholic.
Complete opposite of the drunken body of Rindou was Mika Jougasaki who was sprawled against her small matress, she slept comfortably like a baby unlike Shaq and Rindou... her body carried the sheer beauty that was required when you come out of the Idolm ster franchise and the sheer beauty that was required of an idol, unlike Rindou... Mika looked healthy and sober, there was no bullshit or any signs of mental-illness or other forms of utter stupidity in the body of the Mika, she was a perfectly preserved idol who had taken years into account in order to care for her body and keep it hot and sexy... though the world around them threatened to take that beauty away at a moments notice.
Stocking Anarchy was laying against a couch that was found where Antonio Brown & his comrades of evil had stayed before their demise at the hands of Shaq's group and this couch had now been claimed by Stocking who had gone to bed after devouring her favorite cakes and drinking from her favorite Tea Cup, Stocking had long since gone to bed and her stunning body was molded not through exercise but through the endless amounts of cake which she devoured... according to Stocking, all of the sugar from the pastries she devours goes to her breasts which might explain her bountiful bosoms.
Uiharu Kazari and Ruiko Saten were both tucked nicely into their mattress with soft pillows and warm blankets which gave them the warmth needed for them to achieve the state we now call sleep, both Uiharu and Ruiko still doubted on whether they were being useful enough or not to the rest of the group of Shaq, though the sheer warmth of the blankets had given them the warmth and calmness to ignore the plentiful bullshit surrounding them during the night... though the sun was about to rise from the land any damn second now.
Last but not least, Lightning McQueen was sleeping soundly in the storage department of the Home Depot, taking the place of where the forklifts usually were and sleeping soundly as he had officially recovered from the bruises inflicted by the hail fuckstorm which had happened yesterday, it was an unprecedented shit-storm of hail which rained down from the skies and had laid waste to everything in its wake, murdering the fuck out of whatever happened to be caught within the fuckstorm and had failed to seek shelter, it was a raw and fucked-up event which had forced the entire group to sleep within the Home Depot and finally, after an entire day of staying within this oppressive and large tool store... they could finally escape as Uiharu got up nervously and begun to pull out her laptop which she had left on the desk of the Managers office in the Home Depot, Uiharu had brought her advanced laptop but only now could she find a wall socket to recharge this laptop.
Uiharu quickly hooks the Laptop to the speaker which was once used by Shaquille O'Neill, now to be used by Uiharu who had spotted something uneasy from the windows of the Home Depot, the Skibidi Toilets and sensing raw fear coursing through her veins, Uiharu goes on and plays the CRAZYBUS Title Screen theme on the loud speakers, murdering the fuck out of everyone's ears and forcing them to wake the fuck up.
"CAN YOU ASSHOLES WAKE THE FUCK UP!"
Uiharu roared with elfin fuckrage pulsating through her loins, she had let out an unholy warcry from her mouth as she demanded of Shaq and his comrades to wake up from their eternal slumber and Honey Nutting bullshit... her voice was let loose with an infernal cast as she yelled, waking everyone up from their slumbers like a necromancer lifting up skeletons from the dead.
Rubbing his eyes from the words of the Uiharu, the Shaq spoke angrily as his peaceful slumber was interrupted by Uiharu during 6:00AM, his voice bellows with raw fuckrage, elfin fervor and all other sorts of unspeakable emotions of anger.
"What the hell is going on?!" Shaq bellowed, his voice booming with raw frustration and elfin fervor. "Uiharu, what the FUCK was that for you piece of shit, you better have a damn good reason for waking us up like this!"
Uihar was undeterred by Shaq's imposing presence as he looked up at the Diesel with determination which came from the soul, she stood her ground with unwaveringly rebellious fuckrage, a fuckage which gave Shaq chills. "Sorry for the rude awakening, Shaq-kun, but look outside... look at those motherfuckers!" she exclaimed, gesturing urgently towards the windows.
Shaq followed Uiharu's gaze, his expression hardening with anger as he caught sight of the approaching Skibidi Toilets in the dim light of dawn, they approached with feverish pace which matched the sheer fuckrage within their porcelain bodies... those motherfuckers were approaching fast and the sounds of bullshit came with it.
sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi SkIbIdI SkIbIdI SkIbIdI sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi SkIbIdI SkIbIdI SkIbIdI sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi SkIbIdI SkIbIdI SkIbIdI sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi SkIbIdI SkIbIdI SkIbIdI sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi SkIbIdI SkIbIdI SkIbIdI sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi SkIbIdI SkIbIdI SkIbIdI sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi SkIbIdI SkIbIdI SkIbIdI sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi SkIbIdI SkIbIdI SkIbIdI sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi SkIbIdI SkIbIdI SkIbIdI sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi
"Gawd fucking dammit, who the fuck woke us up? I'm gonna spread their fucking asscheeks apart and shove a metal pipe up their ass"
Rindou had woke up from her hang-over with a cranky mood, her peaceful slumber interrupted by Kazari Uiharu who looked at her with a look of raw disgust and indignation upon this stupid alcoholic bum.
"You alcoholic piece of shit, look out side of the fucking window and maybe you'll realize why I woke everyone up you fucking skank" Uiharu spoke straight facts, her colon churning in disgust at this piece of drunken bullshit named Kobayashi Rindou, a woman of saintly alcohol abuse and sexual depravities.
"Sweet merciful crap... what the fuck are all those white crackas doing outside this holy establishment, are they out of their motherfucking MIND?" Rindou swore as she swayed drunkenly, her body shaking with raw fuckrage which courses through her veins, her nipples harden with fear and excitement at this new encounter, she couldn't wait to do whatever the fuck was coming up next.
"Rindou, when will you ever quit the fucking alcohol abuse, we all know that tea is the superior drink of them all... I'd rather cut my limbs off with a rusty chainsaw than drink that glorified pisswater" Stocking rolled her eyes as she lifted Rindou up and held her up so that this drunken skank wouldn't fall or get ripped apart by the Skibidi Toilets which were outside of the Home Depot.
"Damn it... pieces of fuckin' shit... come on motherfuckers, let's ride these motherfuckers into oblivion!" Roared the Shaq as he splits his shirt asunder and pulls out his chair of the Gods within somewhere in that shirt, only God would know how he stored that fucking thing in his shirt but such was the logic of fiction, so who the fuck cares?
Ruiko unsheathed her metallic pipe which had yet to actually whack someone, but today would be different... she was going to murder the fuck out of something with this motherfucking pipe and leaping from the top of Lightning McQueen, she landed upon an unsuspecting Skibidi Toilet, murdering the fuck out of it and causing the blood and gore to splatter across the ground of the Home Depot... Ruiko felt satisfied that she was actually able to kill something, but since cause and effect existed... this enraged the Skibidi Toilets into a frenzied fuckrage as they began to shake and roar with raw outrage at the acts of the Ruiko Saten.
s̸K̸i̶B̵i̷D̸i̶ ̸s̴K̶i̸B̷i̷D̶i̸ ̷s̷K̶i̸B̸i̷D̷i̷ ̷S̴k̴I̷b̶I̵d̷I̴ ̶S̷k̵I̴b̵I̷d̵I̴ ̸S̴k̵I̴b̷I̷d̶I̷ ̷s̶K̷i̵B̶i̸D̸i̶ ̴s̴K̸i̷B̴i̸D̸i̶ ̶s̴K̸i̸B̵i̶D̷i̷ ̵S̸k̴I̴b̴I̴d̵I̸ ̷S̷k̶I̸b̵I̷d̴I̸ ̵S̶k̵I̷b̴I̴d̶I̶ ̸s̶K̵i̸B̷i̷D̵i̶ ̷s̵K̸i̸B̷i̶D̵i̶ ̷s̶K̴i̴B̸i̵D̸i̷ ̴S̵k̴I̷b̷I̵d̷I̸ ̸S̵k̶I̴b̵I̷d̴I̷ ̸S̶k̶I̴b̴I̴d̸I̵ ̷s̷K̷i̸B̸i̵D̷i̸ ̷s̵K̴i̴B̶i̵D̷i̴ ̷s̷K̷i̶B̶i̸D̴i̶ ̶S̷k̸I̶b̶I̴d̸I̷ ̵S̸k̴I̵b̶I̷d̴I̶ ̴S̶k̵I̸b̷I̴d̴I̷ ̸s̸K̴i̸B̷i̸D̷i̵ ̸s̶K̶i̵B̶i̴D̴i̵ ̴s̴K̵i̵B̵i̵D̴i̴ ̵S̸k̴I̴b̴I̵d̵I̸ ̵S̵k̸I̷b̵I̴d̷I̸ ̵S̵k̵I̷b̵I̴d̵I̶ ̵s̵K̸i̴B̸i̴D̶i̴ ̷s̴K̷i̸B̸i̴D̸i̷ ̶s̴K̶i̵B̴i̵D̸i̷ ̸S̴k̶I̸b̸I̶d̸I̵ ̴S̵k̴I̷b̴I̵d̵I̶ ̵S̵k̵I̴b̶I̸d̵I̸ ̷s̵K̶i̸B̶i̶D̸i̷ ̸s̸K̶i̴B̴i̶D̸i̴ ̶s̶K̶i̴B̸i̸D̵i̵ ̶S̷k̴I̷b̴I̶d̷I̷ ̸S̵k̵I̷b̵I̴d̵I̷ ̵S̴k̵I̴b̸I̶d̷I̷ ̵s̸K̴i̶B̸i̵D̸i̵ ̴s̸K̸i̶B̷i̷D̵i̵ ̵s̵K̴i̴B̶i̵D̸i̶ ̶S̷k̷I̵b̵I̴d̵I̷ ̶S̷k̶I̴b̵I̸d̸I̵ ̸S̸k̶I̷b̵I̷d̵I̸ ̷s̵K̵i̶B̵i̶D̸i̶ ̸s̸K̷i̴B̶i̷D̵i̴ ̴s̸K̶i̴B̶i̴D̵i̴ ̴S̴k̶I̶b̶I̴d̷I̴ ̵S̵k̷I̵b̸I̶d̸I̶ ̵S̴k̶I̷b̵I̶d̴I̵ ̴s̸K̸i̴B̵i̸D̸i̸ ̸s̵K̶i̴B̴i̴D̵i̸ ̷s̵K̷i̵B̶i̵D̶i̷
"Oh for fucks sake, you utter bastard of butter churning bullshit... you pissed off those whack-ass pieces of fuck with that damn stunt of yours..."
Stocking spoke with divine fuckrage which was aimed upon the subhuman pieces of shit which approached them, she took a drink straight out of her tea cup before tossing it aside to be caught by Uiharu who caught it swiftly, though it wasn't long before Stocking did her thing.
Stocking thrusted her hips to the sounds of Eminem blasting through the raw speakers, she reached out for her dual-wielding pistols and demonstrated why these pieces of shit should be cancelled and sent back to whichever hell these motherfucking pieces of fucking bullshit came from... Stocking leapt into the fray of Skibidi Toilets, performing a raw dance of death as she fired a barrage of bullets upon these demonic fucks.
The hundreds of Skibidi Toilets charge upon the group of survivors with elfin-hellish fuckrage blazing within their bodies and nobody in the group liked the raw demonic fuckrage blazing through those pieces of shit, the Shaq knew that they had to go guns blazing upon these pieces of shit. It was about time they finally would make it the fuck out of this motherfucking Home Depot after three straight chapters in this motherfucking place.
Mika Jougasaki's eyes widened in raw fear as she was isolated from the group and a Skibidi Toilet with a bald head charged at her and with its long neck, it extends and tries to rip her face apart with its putriscent teeth, but Mika catches and grabs its head in a struggle for power and leverage which is eventually won when Mika pulls out her gun and sticks the pistol into the eye socket of the Skibidi Toilet.
"Stay down, you fucking ugly thing" Mika snarled with disgust as she pulled the trigger onto the eye socket of the Skibidi Toilet and causing bloody havoc to spill out from under the Skibidi Toilet, a red carpet of blood spreading out... Mika then tossed the gnarled head into a group of Skibidi Toilets who were harrasing Shaq, murdering the fuck out of them with her violent act of aggression.
Shaq feels the blood of the Skibidi Toilets slain by Comrade Mika spill all over his statuesque chest, he bounced his abs in the process as he relished the bloody viscera of Skibidi Toilets spilling all over his body... Shaq furthered this scene by grabbing his chair of the Gods and smashing the Skibidi Toilets before him into a bloody pulp with each raw smash of his elfin fuckchair... he then tossed the dead husks at more Skibidi Toilets with pinpoint accuracy... causing a depraved scene of death.
Meanwhile, the chaotic battle raged around them as Stocking continued her deadly dance amidst the horde of Skibidi Toilets... she had begun pole-dancing around a pole at the Home Depot while firing bullets violently upon the Skibidi Toilets like a depraved version of a sprinkler... even her own comrades were in danger of being murdered by this pole-dancing death dance... Rindou ducked under a stack of wood to avoid those motherfucking bullets.
"Hey cocksleeve, cut that shit out... you're gonna kill one of us with that pole-dancing bullshit" Rindou barked as her breasts pulsed and grew slightly larger, she chuckled in amusement as she pulled her pistol right out of the crack of her boobs and began slaying... her divine patriotic aura blinding upon the group of Skibidi Toilets.
Shaq towered over the fray and swung his massive chair of the Gods with nothing more than his titanic strength... knocking back any Skibidi Toilets that dared approach him and using none other than his titanic strenght, he gripped one of the larger Skibidi Toilets and with his large hands which could easily grip a basketball... he gripped the bald head of the large Skibidi Toilet and pulled tightly upon the screaming toilet, before ripping the Skibidi Toilet in half... ripping out its spinal cord in the process and creating a grizzly scene for everyone to see.
S̶̡̘͑́̓Ḵ̷͋͐̓̇̚I̷̬͚̥̦̔̽̈́ͅB̸̧̲̊İ̶͙̺̞̥̓D̸̠̫̞̯̯͑̿́̓Í̴̛̗͎͙̏̇͝ SKIBIDI SKIBIDI SKIBIDI Skibidi skibidi ˢᵏᶦᵇᶦᵈᶦ...
The Skibidi Toilet chanted no more as it died within the hands of Shaq, having been torn in half with the titanic strength of Shaquille O'Neill, it's head was separated from the toilet structure which gave everyone a view of what these pieces of shit were... the veins of the Skibidi Toilet which were attached to the toilet portion were pulsating violently until they stopped...
"Holy fucking shit..." Ruiko spot with astonishment upon seeing the now ripped apart Skibidi Toilet, it's neck was ripped apart and exposed for all to see... it bled violently as the Skibidi Toilets around them looked on with raw outrage which caused them all to charge into the home depot and truly... those motherfucking pieces of shit would've killed them all had it not've been for the heroics of someone.
Uiharu Kazari was riding atop Lightning McQueen, standing on the roof of the red race car who donned the number 97 and the iconic Rust-Eze paintjob... Uiharu was wielding her mecha-machine gun with unwavering patriotic fuckrage which came from the divinity raining down upon her from the bottom of her heart... and from the bottom of her heart, Uiharu lets loose a war-cry of biblical proportions.
"千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂! 千ㄩ匚Ҝ乇尺丂!"
That wasn't just the chant of Uiharu repeating the words "Fuckers" constantly but rather, she said it every time she murdered one of those filthy Skibidi Toilet pieces of shit... riding atop Lightning McQueen who tramples upon the Skibidi Toilets with his massive frame.
"Fuck you, I'm Lightning McQueen... time to rock the fuck out, Kachow!"
The doors of Lightning McQueen swung open as Shaq, Rindou, Ruiko, Stocking and Mika all climb aboard the legendary red racecar, Uiharu would stay up top... toting the mecha-machine gun which she had now retrofitted to shoot 30 bullets per second.
The sounds of the speaker on the back of Lightning McQueen play Move Bitch by Ludacris as Lightning sped through the endless fields of Skibidi Toilets, smashing them to pieces as Lightning McQueen expertly navigated the fields with timely precision and brutal jukes from the legendary red racecar who broke the ankles of an unfortunate Skibidi Toilet who was later shot dead by Uiharu who sat on top of Lightning McQueen after gluing a swivel seat to the top of Lightning McQueen like a PETA protestor would during a sports game...
Uiharu spared no mercy from atop Lightning McQueen, essentially turning him into a glorified tank with incredible speed and raw power as she swiveled from atop and began firing an unparalleled fuckrage of bullets upon the Skibidi Toilets who washed over them, trying to break into Lightning McQueen but failing to do so as Uiharu shot them all dead with perfect precision and accuracy.
As Uiharu unleashed a relentless barrage of fuck-bullets from her modified mecha-machine gun atop Lightning McQueen, the Skibidi Toilets that dared to approach were met with swift and deadly gunfire which smashed them to utter pieces of porcelain to be scattered across the entire world with fucked-up brutality. Lightning McQueen maneuvered with remarkable agility, dodging and weaving through the chaotic onslaught while Uiharu maintained a steady rain of gunfire upon their enemies with a seemingly endless supply of ammunition which had been collected from Antonio Brown...
Recommended Listening: Doukutsu (Cave) - Higurashi no Naku Koro ni/Higurashi When they Cry
Shaq spoke from the driver's seat as he looked at a piece of the toilet that he had ripped asunder, the porcelain seemed to have a small microchip which had been attached to the arteries of the Skibidi Toilet, it appeared to be that this microchip was what fused the head and neck areas of the Skibidi Toilet to the toilet bodies themselves or at least that is where Shaq had found the microchip at.
Lightning McQueen was speeding past the bullshit that came flying at him from all angles like a TOUHOU game and as soon as he broke away from the bullshitty crowd of Skibidi Toilets, he recieved a message from a mysterious messenger... this message was sent to Uiharu Kazari who stood at the top... she had taken a deep breath after narrowly escaping that fuckstorm alive alongside her comrades.
"Hey Uiharu, it seems this message is for you... let me send it to your phone" Lightning McQueen spoke, he had somehow managed to sync with Uiharu's phone through Bluetooth... Lightning McQueen's brain was essentially an AI with human emotions and feelings... and now he was able to send messages he recieved to Uiharu Kazari, this also meant that Uiharu could check if he was ever thinking about porn or girls.
"Are you the motherfucking guy they call Shaquille O'Neill... I'm sorry that I couldn't send this message because you don't have a functional phone... so hey, maybe if you pay the FUCKING phone bill you can recieve this message directly"
The message sent by LA Knight was initally intended for Shaq, but since Shaq didn't have a functional phone... the LA Knight was essentially relying on Lightning McQueen to relay his words... hoping that he wouldn't fuck it up.
"I'm here to come in contact with your group Shaq, cuz I found some nutty bullshit going on in New Orleans, looks like some bullshit going on and involving the manufacturing of Skibidi Toilets... motherfucking pieces of bull-fuck."
Uiharu rolled her eyes as she responded with a look of disgust on her face.
"Bitch, who the fuck are you? Shaq doesn't have a fucking phone... you're talking to Uiharu Kazari... now what the fuck do you want?"
Lightning McQueen had now hit the highways and was driving at a steady pace now that there wasn't any more Skibidi Bullshit to attack them, he continued to send the updated messages to Uiharu Kazari at the top.
"I'm the LA Knight, the fucker from the World Wrestling Entertainent... now listen because I need you to ask Shaq if he could do me a fucking favor and take care of that bullshit going on in New Orleans for fucks sake." The LA Knight messaged back to Uiharu with slight impatience.
Uiharu looked around before passing the phone to Shaq from the window which Lightning McQueen rolled up, "Here take this... this motherfucker wants your attention Shaq."
Shaq took the phone from Uiharu Kazari, his expression a mixture of curiosity and skepticism as he listened to the voice on the other end claiming to be the LA Knight of all people, what a pile of horse-shit.
"LA Knight, huh? What kind of nutty bullshit are you talking about? How the fuck do I know that you're the LA Knight you motherfucking piece of shit." Shaq's deep voice rumbled with a hint of impatience, his focus now squarely on the urgent matter at hand... they were calling directly now to make the scene more dramatic for no reason at all.
"Listen brotha, I've got my hands full here running from the Home Depot due to some Skibidi Toilets and other crazy shit than to take time dealing with whatever chicken-fucking, flim-flam bullshit that you're cooking up right now, Maggot and now you're telling me there's some manufacturing nonsense going down in New Orleans of all places!? Like fuck-hell I would listen to some bullshit like that." Shaq's skepticism was evident in his tone, unwilling to entertain any frivolous requests. "Get yo' crack-head ass into some rehab, I ain't got time for this bullshit."
From the penthouse in Jacksonville, the LA Knight let out a sigh of annoyance as he spoke into the phone with elfin fuckrage, "This ain't no chicken-fucking bullshit brother, I'm a simple man and all I want is to eradicate those fucking Skibidi Toilets which ruined the world, how else is a motherfucker like me supposed to rub one out tonight when I have to worry about whether I have a Skibidi Toilet burst into my fucking house or some shit..."
"Alright I'll trust your fucking ass for once, what the fuck do you want out of us... something about New Orleans?" Shaq spoke with raw skepticism into the phone... his eyes narrowing as he awaited a convincing response from the LA Knight. He wasn't one to take things at face value... especially when it came to matters as serious as this, this was probably just some shitty prank-call from some fucked-up kid somewhere in the country.
"Quit being a fucking Jabroni and listen... I've got another group of Survivors who are headed towards Atlanta, Florida to deal with some bullshit around some churches worshipping the Skibidi Toilet and since I discovered increasing Skibidi Toilet activity in New Orleans, I figured they might be manufacturing some pieces of shit in that fucking city... and I want YOU and YOUR group to see if there is some bullshit going on over there which I believe there is." The LA Knight spoke through the phone in the penthouse, his voice bellowing with a tone of raw annoyance, being the washed-up WWE Wrestler he was... he chugged a bottle of Jägermeister in one go.
Shaq sighed and spoke back to the LA Knight... he spoke with a loud tone over the sounds of the cruising speeds of Lightning McQueen, "Fine... but if you fucking ambush us or some dumb shit like that... I'll crawl to wherever you are and piss down your asshole and spit down your neck, are we clear motherfucker?"
The LA Knight chuckles at this colorful response at this malignant response by the Shaq, being the annoying fuckmeister that he was... "trust me jabroni, I ain't gonna ambush your asses but I can't guarantee your fucking safety because who the fuck knows what the fuck is going on in New Orleans... though I will give you some motherfucking weapons and let you meet the survivor group which I supervise if you motherfuckers are successful... though when that happens I don't know."
Shaq listened to the shitty chuckle from the other side of the phone, he could already imagine what this drunk-ass motherfucking piece of shit would be like... though he decided to agree only because he wanted to meet other survivors and shit like that, "Sure thing, but you better keep your fucking word eventually or I'll be disappointed in you... and I'll report back to you if we find any suspicious bullshit going on back there... are we clear, LA Knight?"
The LA Knight smirked from the penthouse computer lab as he took another swig of alcohol he found around the kitchen of the penthouse before continuing on his words of guidance to the group of Shaquille O'Neill, "Alright then Shaq-Kun, it shouldn't take you motherfuckers too long to arrive to the Big Easy with Lightning McQueen on your side... though I'd suggest that you motherfuckers get something to eat at some point... cuz I'd hate to fight those Skibidi Toilet fuckers with nothing but an empty stomach... now go on you American heroes, go and make America Proud you fucking baka Jabronis."
The Shaq chuckled from the other side as he motioned Lightning McQueen to take a turn towards New Orleans and he responded to the LA Knight, "Was that last shit really necessary kiddo? Usually the one who calls someone a baka is the BAKA."
With that shit out of the motherfucking way, Shaquille O'Neill looked back at the group and lets out a throaty chuckle as he spoke to the group with a new command now in his grasp, they were headed to New Orleans.
"Guess what fuckers, we're headed to New Orleans to get drunk at Bourbon Street, eat beignets and watch the New Orleans Saints... nah just kidding, we're headed to New Orleans to probably get the fuck murdered out of us and investigate any bullshit Skibidi Toilet activity going on there" Shaq spoke as he looked at everyone in the group in turn with the exception of Uiharu and Lightning McQueen who were technically outside of the car... especially Lightning McQueen because he WAS the car.
Rindou's face twisted into a scowl as she retorted sharply at Shaq's jest of utter bullshit... it was such bullshit that it became a shitload of fuck that was better off unsaid to the crazy son of a bitch named Rindou.
"You're a fucking bitch-ass... Shaq, You got my hopes up for nothing..." Rindou exclaimed, her tone laced with irritation. "I was ready to party and get plastered, hammered and fucked in New Orleans... not deal with more Skibidi Toilet bullshit... this better be worth it."
Ruiko let out a laugh at Rindou's reaction, finding the situation amusing despite the seriousness of their mission... after all, only Rindou was this unhinged when it came to this group... even this motherfucking user of r/wallstreetbets wasn't this unhinged.
"Come on, Rindou... We'll take care of those fuckmeisters and maybe we'll get hammered and piss-ass drunk in New Orleans at Bourbon Street" Ruiko reassured, trying to lighten the mood... though she just found Rindou's anger amusing.
Stocking chimed in, her expression unamused but amused simultaneously... she took a sip out of her tea and spoke up, "I've heard Bourbon street is disappointing as fuck, it's just a bunch of drunk assholes talking about bullshit and more bullshit, I'd say we merc the fuck out of whatever is going on in there and Get The Fuck Out."
Rindou shot a glare at Stocking Anarchy for DARING to bring that mere concept into existence by speaking it into existence, clearly not thrilled with the idea of skipping out on potential debauchery, sex and all sorts of food which would fill her stomach... so she retorted at Stocking with elfin fuckrage filled with her panties raging with hormones which caused her to get all horny.
"Speak for yourself, Stocking Anarchy... If we survive this Skibidi Toilet mess, I'm hitting Bourbon Street and getting my tight hole railed whether you like it or not, I ain't gonna miss out on a treat like that... fucker" Rindou retorted, her defiance clear in her tone as she looked at Stocking angrily.
"Suit yourself, Street-walker. Just don't get too wasted and end up making more trouble for us... I'd hate to drag your sorry-ass all the way back to Lightning McQueen because some motherfucker inevitably disappointed you by being a fucking minute-man in bed." Stocking remarked, her gaze turning serious for a moment before she returned to her relaxed demeanor and took another drink of her hot tea which she never seemed to spill and always seemed to have on her at all times.
Mika watched awkwardly as Rindou and Stocking were arguing as usual, they seemed to do this bullshit all the time and it was usually Mika who got them to stop fighting each other like fucking idiots... she spoke up awkwardly and timidly.
"Um, guys... maybe we should focus on the task at hand first before we rip each other apart... Dealing with these Skibidi Toilets again is our main objective and figuring out if they're being spawned or created or whatever bullshit those motherfuckers do and we need to make sure we're all prepared," Mika suggested, her voice carrying a hint of concern as she got between the two arguing girls again as usual.
Rindou and Stocking glanced at each other momentarily in elfin fuckrage, waiting for each other to back down before eventually... Rindou sighed as she spoke up from the stand-off between them.
"Fine, fine... Mika's right. Let's deal with this horse-shit first and then we can figure out our plans for New Orleans and have some fun and get drunk..." Rindou replied, her tone more subdued as she was disappointed... though also hoping that they could enjoy the damn place after they finished the fucking thing.
Stocking nodded in agreement at Rindou as she set her tea aside momentarily, "Agreed... though it doesn't change the fact that Bourbon street isn't a fucking shit-hole and that the fucking place will probably be ruined due to the bullshit going on in the world... with the Skibidi-Pocalypse and all..."
"To New Orleans, Lightning!"
Ruiko spoke up with a smirk as Lightning stepped on the gas and began to drive faster, speeding through the empty highways as the trees whizz by rapidly... he chuckled and spoke up, "No problem guys, we'll make New Orleans in about two hours... fuck yeah!"
Lightning McQueen had begun to hit his maximum speed as he drove off into the foggy distance of the highways, only parking so Uiharu could get back into the car when it began to drizzle lightly on their destination of New Orleans...