Chapter 10: REIMU HAKUREI AND HER GROUP MURDER THE ABSOLUTE FUCK OUT OF EVERYTHING THAT STANDS IN HER WAY OUT OF ANGER
RECOMMENDED LISTENING: Strength of 1000 men - Two Steps from Hell
One week has passed and the human race was nearly extinct at the hands of the motherfucking Skibidi Toilets who have ramped up their search for death and destruction upon the earth, they spread like a plague as they ate, devoured and ripped apart human bodies and limbs and the only people who remained were those who got into groups just to survive through the day, it also takes a lot of fucking luck as the entirety of Muse had been killed the fuck off in a sudden ambush because there was no place for them in the fucking story except for Honoka who has gone off by herself.
Reimu and her group were busy preparing to kill some anarchists upon the jeep, Reimu snarled in disgust as she saw those motherfucking pieces of dogshit who profited off the Skibidi-pocalypse.
Reimu snarled as she whispered to Sanae, they needed to get that jeep fast... but they only had two candlesticks which were wielded by Mokou and Kaguya, Kaguya was still wearing that geeky Gamestop shirt she had bought... Reimu still thought it looked ridiculous.
"Hey you two... give us your candlesticks, check this shit out..."
Reimu handed the candlestick to her newfound sidekick, Sanae who served as her Luigi... they were red and green just like the bros and therefore... they found an odd amount of synergy with their attacks.
In the chaotic land of Aventura, Florida... where the skies are as unpredictable as a cat on a pogo stick while drunk, Reimu and her gang found themselves in a pickle... those anarchists were running amok with their jeep gladiator and murdering the fuck out of kids, people and those who could serve to futher their agenda of survival, making bank off the Skibidi-pocalypse, which was like if the world got caught in a never-ending game of musical chairs set to Russian techno filled with evil singing toilets which ate human beings...
Reimu, with her trademark red ribbon flapping in the wind like a battle flag of chaos, turned to Sanae her trusty sidekick who was as green as a frog on St. Patrick's Day... she was green like Luigi "We gotta nab that jeep, Sanae! Get that muthafucka!"
Sanae nodded, her eyes gleaming with determination,or maybe it was just a reflection of her Mario Bros. themed candlestick. Yes, candlesticks. Not just any candlesticks, mind you, but magical ones wielded by the fiery Mokou and the moon-dwelling Kaguya, who was sporting a Gamestop shirt that could blind an unwary onlooker with its geeky glory...
"Hey, you two! Hand over those wax wands of wonder!" Reimu barked, her voice echoing across the chaotic landscape like a thunderstrike which shook the earth at its seams...
Mokou and Kaguya exchanged glances, then shrugged and handed over the candlesticks with all the nonchalance of a toddler giving up their favorite toy for a shiny new one. "Sure thing, Reimu! But don't break 'em. We got 'em on sale at Witch-Mart in the mall"
With the candlesticks in hand, Reimu and Sanae felt a surge of power coursing through their veins, as if they'd just mainlined a shot of pure adrenaline mixed with pixie dust. They charged towards the anarchists with the grace of a drunken ostrich in a ballet recital, ready to unleash chaos upon chaos in a cacophony of craziness.
The battle was fierce, with explosions, lasers, and the occasional rubber chicken flying through the air like confetti which was laced with angel blood and violent eyeballs which splattered across the floot... Reimu swung her candlestick with Elfin fervor... driving it into the ruined skull of an anarchist while Sanae danced around as she knocked the anarchists off the jeep, as the fight break out... Sanae leaps into the frey and stuns the Anarchists as she violently gyrates her hips... something she learned back in her good ol' drunken days as Reimu smashes their skulls into dust from behind.
In the end, Reimu and Sanae had murdered the fuck out of the anarchists of Aventura, their plans foiled like a a house of cards... Reimu and her gang stood victorious, their candlesticks held high like trophies of triumph... though Mokou, Kaguya, Dia and Ruby watched in absolute horror as the truck was spilt with the raw viscera of dead anarchists... Reimu tossed their bodies off the truck, she was smoking that anarchist pack.
"I am not getting on that fucking jeep... gross" Kaguya winced in disgust, despite being a dopamine addicted redditor filth... she was still a lunar princess and she was still disgusted by things.
"Don't be a pussy Kaguya, get in the fucking car and clean that shit up with everyone else..." Mokou shot back, they still hated each other at heart despite teaming up together for this sole purpose of surviving.
"I-I don't want to get on the bloody jeep... it's all gross and sticky..." Ruby Kurosawa watched, she was with Kaguya as they watched everyone else clean that nasty stuff off the Jeep Gladiator.
Dia Kurosawa meanwhile was disgusted as she picked up a crazed eyeball belonging to one of the anarchists... it was the driver who Reimu had smashed with the candlestick... she tossed the eyeball away in disgust as it blinked at her.
"EWWWW...!"
Reimu just rolled her eyes and winked at Mokou who was the only other person who wasn't disgusted by the bloody scene, even Sanae was disgusted.
"Y'all are a bunch of sissies, no wonder you guys will probably die in two days or less because we're going on a trek throughout AMERICA in order to save this country from these fucking Skibidi Toilet fuckers..."
Sanae rolled her eyes at Reimu's breathless rant about saving the world, though she found it to be a noble ideal... Reimu was a massive fucking hypocrite and Sanae responded accordingly.
"Uhm Reimu... I don't mean to question you but you hate those anarchists because they kill people for supplies right...?" Sanae asked with a look of suspicion at Reimu Hakurei.
"Aren't we also killing people for supplies and shit like that...?"
"You see, Sanae," Reimu began, her voice dripping with thick sarcasm as she snarled, "we're the good guys because we say we are. It's as simple as that. Morality? Ethics? Those are just words invented by people who don't have enough firepower to back up their opinions... you fucking bozo"
Kaguya, ever the voice of reason (or at least the closest thing they had to it), couldn't help but interject. "But Reimu, isn't it a tad hypocritical to condemn others for killing people for supplies when we're essentially doing the same thing?"
Reimu waved her hand dismissively, as if swatting away a particularly annoying fly. "Hypocrisy, schmypocrisy," she declared, her confidence unwavering. "We're the protagonists, Kaguya. That means we get a free pass on all that pesky moral ambiguity nonsense. It's in the hero handbook, look it up... redditor."
Kaguya sighed, realizing the futility of arguing with Reimu when she was in this mood. "Right, of course," she muttered under her breath, secretly making a mental note to reevaluate her life choices.
As for Reimu, she simply smirked and took another sip of her Chuckola Cola, reveling in the sweet taste of victory and moral superiority. After all, when you're the hero of the story, who needs consistency?
With a wide and cunning smirk, Reimu leaned back and took a long, satisfying sip of her Chuckola Cola as the sweet nectar of carbonation danced on her tongue, fucking her tastebuds like they were Pop Rocks... momentarily distracting her from the impending existential crisis that surrounded them with the "Skibidi Toilet."
Mokou, with her sleeves rolled up and a grim determination in her eyes, scrubbed away at the bloody mess that coated the once pristine Jeep Wrangler which was now spilt with the blood, guts and brain matter of anarchists... As she worked, her mind wandered to her absent companions, Kaguya and Ruby, who were conspicuously absent from the cleaning festivities that Sanae, Dia and Reimu also partipated in.
"Hey, Kaguya! Ruby!" Mokou called out, her voice echoing across the chaotic landscape which was festered with toilets "Quit being a couple of sissies and come help out with this mess!"
Kaguya, who was busy examining her nails with an air of nonchalance that bordered on infuriatings that perfectly suited a chronically online redditor, rolled her eyes at Mokou's words. "Oh please, Mokou. You know I can't stand the sight of blood and guts. It's ghastly as fuck and gross"
Ruby, who had been nervously pacing back and forth like a caged tiger, nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I don't do well with... bodily fluids," she admitted sheepishly, a faint blush creeping across her cheeks as she was very scared.
Mokou snorted in response, unimpressed by their excuses. "Well, I don't particularly enjoy it either, but someone's gotta clean this shit up and everyone else is doing it so why shouldn't you guys you lazy suckers!. Since you two seem content to stand around twiddling your thumbs, I guess that someone is gonna be me, Reimu, Dia and Sanae"
With a grunt of frustration, Mokou redoubled her efforts, determined to rid the Jeep of every last trace of anarchist blood. After all, this was no time to be a coward... not when Skibidi Toilets were running amok.
With the Jeep finally scrubbed clean of all the filthy and impure anarchist blood, Reimu wasted no time rallying the crew... she spoke with a boisterous tone "Alright, team!" she bellowed, her voice cutting through the air like a battle cry... an unholy war cry "Time to load up and hit the road...!"
Sanae climbs aboard the hulking Jeep Wrangler, it was slightly larger than the average Jeep Wranger because reasons... she climbed to the passenger seat by the side of Reimu, she adjusted the mirror at the top and sighed.
"I'm ready, come on everyone... lets board the Jeep..."
Mokou, wiping the sweat from her brow, followed suit, sliding into the driver's seat with the confidence of a seasoned war vet... even though she didn't have any motherfucking experience, "Time to escape this fucking place... fuck finally!"
Kaguya, reluctantly tearing herself away from her meticulously manicured nails, climbed into the backseat with an air of resignation... "I suppose I'll tolerate this mode of transportation," she muttered,she fucking hated cars for the most part as she was once a member of r/fuckcars after falling down the rabbit hole of reddit echo chambers.
Dia and Ruby, the dynamic duo of the Kurosawa sisters, exchanged a nervous glance before gingerly settling into the remaining seats. "Um, are you sure this thing is safe?" Ruby whispered, eyeing the makeshift armor plating with trepidation..
Reimu, unfazed by the skepticism of her companions, flashed a confident devil-may-care grin as she took her place behind the wheel. "Who the fuck cares if it is safe or not... If I die, I die." she called out, her eyes sparkling with excitement to to make their exodus from Aventura, Florida "We've got places to visit... time to go sightseeing to see if the Skibidi Toilets have raveged the rest of America..."
With that, the engine roared to life, the tires kicking up clouds of dust as the Jeep lurched forward with an infernal cast, it leapt into the air as it ran over a couple of pieces of splintered porcelain which came from shattered Skibidi Toilets, it was a bumpy ride because the Jeep had surprisingly shitty suspension.
"Holy shit... why is the suspension so bad...?!" Dia yelled as she hugged Ruby tightly, Ruby sat on Dia's lap in order to make room for Kaguya and Mokou in the back seats...
And so, with adrenaline pumping through their veins and determination burning in their hearts, Reimu and her crew tore through the desolate landscape, ready to face whatever horrors lay ahead. After all, when the world is falling apart at the seams, sometimes the only thing you can do is hold on tight and enjoy the ride.
Reimu looked at the scenery around Aventura, Florida... the urban hellscape was ruined after Skibidi Toilets had devastated the city... the bloodthirsty toilets with their evil singing and hungry appetites had forced Reimu and her group to escape... this jeep was worth every damn penny as walking was inefficient and straining.
Reimu gazed out at the desolate landscape surrounding Aventura, Florida, her eyes narrowing as she took in the devastation wrought by the Skibidi Toilets. Once a bustling urban jungle, the city now lay in ruins, its streets littered with debris and its buildings reduced to little more than crumbling facades.
The memory of the bloodthirsty toilets with their sinister singing and insatiable appetites sent a shiver down Reimu's spine. They had been forced to flee for their lives, leaving behind everything they had ever known in a desperate bid for survival. And in this bleak new world, where danger lurked around every corner and the very ground seemed to tremble with malice, their trusty Jeep was worth its weight in gold.
"Damn Skibidi Toilets," Reimu muttered under her breath, her fists clenched in anger. "They may have taken everything from us, but they won't take our freedom."
As the Jeep rumbled onward, its engine growling like a beast on the prowl, Reimu's resolve hardened. They may have been running from danger, but they were also running toward hope. Hope for a better tomorrow, where the Skibidi Toilets were nothing but a distant memory and the world could be rebuilt from the ashes.
With a determined glint in her eye, Reimu tightened her grip on the steering wheel and pressed down on the gas pedal. They had a long road ahead of them, filled with danger and uncertainty, but as long as they had each other and their trusty Jeep, they would face whatever challenges came their way head-on. After all, when the world is falling apart at the seams, sometimes all you can do is keep moving forward, one mile at a time.
the sounds of Skibidi Toilets infiltrated the road the city.
sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi sKiBiDi
Upon arriving to Jacksonville, Reimu saw another desolate wasteland filled with dead human corpses, Skibidi Toilets which were both dead and alive but what was most disgusting to Reimu was the sheer amount of Communist flags which plagued the city, Reimu's colon churned in disgust as she snarled with the utmost anger.
Reimu wanted to kill all these Commie bastards, even if she had worked minimum wage... last time she was under communism in Gensokyo, she had to slave away as a shrine maiden while that bitch Yukari made millions by doing nothing... hell, that fucking baka 9 Cirno made the same amount of money while doing fuck all.
Deafening rap music rips through the city which was emmanating from the Jeep Wrangler that Reimu drove, she had told Kaguya Houraisan to play a loud fucking song to keep everyone awake amidst their long-ass drive... roughly six hours considering all the Skibidi Toilets they encountered near Jacksonville.
With the voice of Eminem blasting through Jacksonville, Reimu parks near the entrance to Jacksonville... she sighed and yelled at her comrades again.
"I can see you're the same crazy-ass motherfucker as always... Kaguya, now bring me Ruby, I need to test some shit out while I figure out how to murder all these commie bastards, I hate those goddamn communist fuckheads."
Kaguya picks Ruby up and drags her to Reimu, kicking and screaming as she tries to escape from With a fierce determination, Kaguya grabbed hold of Ruby, her iron grip sending shivers down the idol's spine. "You're coming with me, whether you like it or not!" she declared, dragging Ruby kicking and screaming towards their destination.
As they approache Reimu, chaos ensued. Kaguya, with a swift motion, suplexed Ruby onto the ground, causing everyone to start looking at how poor Ruby got fucking suplexed by Kaguya.
"Listen to Reimu!" Kaguya bellowed, her voice echoing through the air. "So I can indulge in my yaoi fantasies undisturbed and masturbate in peace!"Kaguya responded, walking away as Reimu saw her new hoodie which was pink and had large sparkly letters which were engraved as "Fuck Mineta."
"Owww..." Ruby gets up and shakes off the pain, she bowed before Reimu nervously... Reimu wants to test Ruby out with something...
"Ruby... I've heard you have magical powers and shit like that... or at least that is what I heard from Dia..." Reimu spoke as she held Ruby from the shoulders, "What can you do that is useful for fighting against Skibidi Toilets and Anarchists?"
Ruby shifted weight nervously as she began to speak with a rapid stutter... "I-I can unspoil food and stuff like that..."
Reimu patted Ruby on the back and motioned everyone to exit the jeep, but as Dia steps off the jeep... she runs up to Kaguya and delivers a perfect right cross to Kaguya's chin and knocks her down.
"That's what you get for suplexing my fucking sister, you fucking hoe."
Mokou snickers for a bit, "Yeah... good one Dia."
Reimu and Sanae charged first to clear the way, Reimu ripped into the smaller Skibidi Toilets, smashing their heads with her tall candlestick and sending their ruined heads into the sewers of Jacksonville... the city reeked of raw sewage, piss and vinegar which caused Sanae to want to hurl all over the place... but she held it in because of the raw fuckrage that was going on in her mind from fighting the Skibidi Toilets...
Reimu smashes the head of a small Skibidi toilet asunder, ripping into its flesh as its raw viscera splashes against her bright red outfit... Mokou and Kaguya soon follow, they were armed with muskets which they found at Bass Pro Shops, it wasn't any good guns but they fulfilled their job decently as long as the Skibidi Toilet was hit with a good blow to the temple,m as the porcelain was capable of blocking the bullets.
"over there, get that MUTHAFUCKA!" Mokou yelled over at Kaguya who's aim was much better than Mokou's due to all the first person shooters she has played in her life... she looks over at her nails for a split second to make sure there is no damage done to them.
"Ruby... Dia, how's stuff going back there...?!" Kaguya yelled towards them over the sounds of Skibidi toilets, Ruby and Dia were holding all the supplies in backpacks as they were the least competent with weapons in their hands plus Ruby was oddly able to restore food to their original stage which widely eliminated the worry of spoiling food and having to eat it early...Dia carried a large backpack filled with basic first aid supplies and some food while Ruby carried a small YETI backpack which was filled with fruits and veggies...
Reimu walks through the narrow corridors of Jacksonville, taking the backstreet in order to avoid potentialyl being surrounded by Skibidi Toilets considering they had decent weapons against the Skibidi Toilets that appeared... being the average white toilet bowl with the default singing tone.
"Skibidi dop dop dop yes yes, skibidi dabudu neeb neeb. skibidi dop dop dop yes yes, skibidi dabudu neeb neeb."
Reimu and the gang have yet to have seen another type of Skibidi Toilet outside of slightly larger variants of your average Skibidi Toilet, they weren't much of a problem as long as you didn't get jumped by them or knocked down... though the majority were small and easy to kill, the medium and large sizes were much more powerful and difficult to kill... especially when unarmed.
"Make sure to protect Ruby and Dia back there... I'd hate for harm to come to them and have our food squandered... you girls give me a minute, I've got this..."
Reimu walked into a small hub, the her eyes looked up in admiration as she saw the great LA Knight chilling in the building, she had heard that the LA Knight was knowledgeable about the history of Jacksonville which had now seemingly gone under Anarcho-Communist Control before the Skibidi-Apocalypse which had only amplified after the invasion of the Skibidi Toilets.\
"Reimu...! There's a whole bunch of bullets n' shit going on back there, hurry your fucking ass up!" Sanae roared back, Reimu rolled her eyes and once she accesssed that the hidden room was safe, they were all motioned to enter... drinks were on the menu and Reimu quickly picks up a brew and heads over to LA Knight.
"Hey dude, where did the world fuck up when the anarcho-communist dicksleaves took control?" Reimu flipped her luxurious long hair and sat down next to the LA Knight, Reimu looked at his massive chisled body, his chest tattooed with the signature "YEAHHHHH!" He would yell during WWE Events back in the day.
L.A Knight YEAH!
The LA Knight looked at Reimu with a sense of patriotic admiration which came from his hatred of the Anarcho-Communists, he waltzed over to Reimu... he was out of his prime but still muscular and chisled like the rock.
The LA Knight lets out a throaty chuckle, a deep rumble of amusement resonating through his massive chest as he bounced his pecs with ease. He leaned back, crossing his arms over his broad frame, a smirk playing on his lips... YEAAAHHH!
"Ah, the world didn't just 'fuck up,' sweetheart, it got itself tangled in a mess of ideologies and power struggles n' shit... Jacksonville became the first communist city in America, following that shithole Philadelphia which became the most violent city followin' da anarchy shiet..." he began, his voice gravelly and authoritative. "See, those anarcho-communist jabronis thought they had the right idea, tearing down the establishment and all that jazz. But what they didn't realize is that chaos breeds chaos, and before you know it, you've got Skibidi Toilets invading and all hell breaking loose... fuckin' idiots."
He gestured dramatically, his eyes ablaze with a fiery intensity that held the rage of the LA Knight of old. "The problem, my dear, wasn't in the idea itself. It was in the execution. They wanted to tear down the old without building something solid in its place. And when you do that, well, chaos reigns supreme."
Reimu nodded, taking in his words with a thoughtful expression. She took a sip of her drink, the cool liquid soothing against the backdrop of chaos outside which they could only tell was happening due to the sounds of gunshots and more sounds of SKIBIDI SKIBIDI SKIBIDI.
"So, what's the solution then?" she asked, her voice tinged with curiosity.
The LA Knight leaned in closer, his gaze intense. "The solution, sweetheart, is to find the one who caused all of this shit... and fill that motherfucker with lead... the motherfucker I'm talking about is that goddamn son of a bitch named Spongebob Squarepants... that yellow squeezable son of a bitch"
He leaned back again, a satisfied grin spreading across his face. "And if those anarcho-communist jabronis don't get that, well, they're in for a rude awakening... too bad my back is fucked from all the wrestling n' shit... fuck my life"
Reimu nodded, she was eager to split that motherfucking sponge asunder with her trusty candlestick and her brethren of fellow surviviors that she had met along the way, Reimu asked one more question to the LA Knight.
"Where the fuck is this Spongebob Squarepants motherfucker at?!"
LA Knight smirked and pulled out a picture detailing the skyline of Jacksonville, Florida... mostly a shithole, he pointed at the tallest skyscraper which was called "The Krusty Crab Headquarters."
"See that motherfucking building, the great Mr. Krabs bought that fucking thing when the Krabby Patty went viral out of seemingly nowhere, don't eat any of the food here... it's like laced with drugs n' shit..." LA Knight warned about the Krabby Patties, they must've been awful for him to warn them.
The remaining Aventura Mall Survivors/Weapons/Status
Reimu Hakurei - Large Candlestick with sharp end - Healthy Status
Sanae Kochiya - Large Candlestick with sharp end - Healthy Status
Kaguya Houraisan - Musket - Healthy Status
Fujiwara No Mokou - Musket - Healthy Status
Dia Kurosawa - No Weapon - Healthy Status
Ruby Kurosawa - No Weapon - Healthy Status
Location - Jacksonville, Florida
Group Name - The Southeastern Survival Group of Florida