The Six Guardians

Q woke up with the mother of all headaches and the familiar yet distinct sound of someone growling.

Biting back his own noises of complaint, he slowly opened his eyes, wincing at the bright light as he quickly looked around to figure out where he was and-

Oh.

Medical.

Thank fuck.

Awkwardly sitting up he realised he'd been deposited on a hospital bed, his shoes and tie still on and his glasses somewhat askew but thankfully still present as well. A glance around the room revealed three other occupants - a very exasperated Doctor Arkov, an ever-so-slightly nervous M, and a growling James bloody Bond standing between him and the others like some sort of guard dog.

When did this become his life?

"007".

No response.

"Bond".

Nothing.

"James!"

The growling abruptly cut off.

"Just what, on earth, do you think that you are doing?!"

He spun around to face him and frowned, tilting his head to the side like a particularly confused puppy. Q barely managed to bite back a sigh.

"James, why did you bring me to medical?"

"Because you're injured!

"And…?"

"And- And because it's medical! This is how you get uninjured! You need a doctor!"

"You're right, I do need a doctor" he replied calmly, "But here's the thing, James. How can medical help me, if you keep growling at the doctor?!"

He blinked. Frowned. Glanced over at Arkov. Automatically growled again. And then shook himself out of it and reluctantly stepped back.

"Good boy".

He scowled at him, but Q knew the alpha well enough by now to know that there was no heat behind it. Doctor Arkov squeezed himself between James and the hospital bed, shooting the man a dirty look as he did so before finally turning to address him.

"Thank you, Quartermaster. For a while there I was worried we'd have to sedate him".

"Oh please!" Q immediately countered, "As if you wouldn't get immense joy at stabbing a double-0 with a needle".

"Well… Agreeing with that would break my Hippocratic oath".

"And yet you are noticeably not denying it either".

The man smiled. "I take it that I don't need to check for a concussion then, given that your snarky attitude is still firmly intact?"

"Not unless it's possible to get concussed without hitting your head, no" he replied, before wincing, "Although I do have a killer headache".

"I'm not surprised. You've got a nice patchwork of bruises on your face" Arkov said, gently tilting his head back, "Anything else I should be checking for?"

"No, I'm fine".

The man gave him a rather pointed look. "007 carried you in here unconscious".

"It was just the adrenaline rush" he explained, "The shock of it all, that's it. They got a few hits in, sure, but nothing's broken and you can't do anything for bruises anyway. I'm fine".

James took a step closer. "You should be checked over anyway, pup, just in case".

"Says you!" Q countered, "Remind me again, which one of us got shot off of a moving train going a hundred miles an hour and fell eighty metres below into a moving river and then decided that the best possible course of action was to get drunk on a beach?!"

"... But that was-"

"Who?"

"... Me".

"Yeah. You! So I highly doubt that you are the best person to take medical advice from!"

It was strange, seeing a highly-trained contract killer look so much like a scolded puppy, but such was Q's life these days.

"I'm fine" he repeated, turning back to Arkov who looked far too amused, "I'll take a couple of ibuprofen when I get home, I promise".

For the first time since he woke, M spoke up.

"The thing is, Quartermaster, you're not going home".

"What? What do you mean I'm not going home? I just said I was fine, sir; I don't need to stay for a night under observation!"

"I know you don't, but the fact remains-"

"Sweetheart!"

Q jumped at the sudden yell, spinning around far too fast based on his head's sudden throbbing, only to be yanked forward against a familiar-smelling chest.

"What happened? Are you hurt?! Who did this to you? Where are they? Sweetheart, where are they?!"

"Let him breathe, Edie, and then maybe he can tell us".

Her orange and ginger scent was abruptly replaced by something spicier and more citrusy as Saif pulled him into a brief yet tight hug before stepping back for Alexis to take his place with her sweet, honey-like perfume before-

"What happened, cub?"

-the best scent of them all, safe and warm and smokey - he'd been up on the roof again - and so very like home.

Q allowed himself a moment, just one, to bury his face against Alec's soft t-shirt and just breathe, before slowly, reluctantly pulling away. He was being petted and hugged and tugged from one double-0 to another, each of the five idiots growing and grumbling at each other until he finally swatted their hands away and told them to get themselves together despite his omegian hindbrain preening under the attention because this wasn't a bloody romcom!

Wait.

Five idiots?

Q blinked and looked around the room until his eyes finally landed on-

Duncan.

"You're… here".

The last conversation they'd had, after all, had ended in a shouting match with the alpha showing him his teeth and Q feeling like they'd reverted back to day one again.

Duncan shifted from one foot to another, avoiding his gaze and clearly uncomfortable.

"Yeah, well, there's a nurse with Jake right now anyway so… I thought I might as fucking well see what this lot were up to".

It wasn't an apology, but then again, Q wasn't going to apologise to him, either. They had both been as equally wrong as they'd been right, just as they were both far too emotionally stunted disasters to acknowledge that fact out loud.

"... Thank you" he said instead, getting a gruff nod in response.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" Edie waved them off, almost hitting Arkov in the process as he slipped out of the room. "You can kiss and make up later. Now what happened?!"

"I was… attacked" he replied, not wanting to use that word but not seeing any suitable alternative either, "I was cycling home and my front tyre got a puncture. I pulled in at the side of the road and they came up behind me".

Immediately, all six double-0s went into killer mode.

"How many?"

"Three. One alpha and two betas, all male. None of them looked familiar".

"Where are they now?"

"Dead" Q said bluntly, "Well, two of them are, anyway. I kind of… accidentally tasered a guy to death".

"And I snapped the other guy's neck" James finished, as casual as you please, "Third guy's still alive though. I called Bill on the way over here, he's got a couple of senior agents on it".

"Well, at least there's that" M muttered, looking distinctly… uneasy at being surrounded by so many double-0s, "We might be able to get some information out of him".

Alec's expression darkened as he subconsciously flexed his fists. "You can be sure of that".

And no, Q was not flushing because of his maybe-partner's show of violence, fuck you very much, it was just hot in here and he was injured and tired and-

"Why were you there anyway?" Saif asked, nodding at James and yes, actually, that was most definitely a very interesting question and not at all a distraction for Q to focus on instead.

Bond simply shrugged. "I had a… feeling".

They all stared at him.

Edie blinked. "You can feel?"

Alexis elbowed her in the ribs and she stuck her tongue out at her in response. M very wisely decided to just ignore the lot of them.

"Well then, 007, since your feeling has served us well so far, what is your professional opinion of the situation?"

He thought carefully for a moment, looking far more serious than Q could ever remember him being - and he wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not.

"... It wasn't a mugging" he finally replied, "It was too well coordinated for that, and they were too well trained to be petty thieves. They were also a lot more interested in the Quartermaster himself rather than his pockets, which would lead me to believe it was a hit - except that doesn't make sense either. If it was a contract, then there shouldn't have been three of them, and they should have gone straight for the kill. It was dark, late at night, no one around… Professionally speaking, it was the ideal time to murder someone. They shouldn't have been so focused on getting Q to a secondary location… but since they were so focused on getting Q to a secondary location…"

He trailed off, but they all knew what he meant.

"Kidnapping" M finished grimly, "Someone just tried to abduct the Quartermaster of MI6".

"... Well, fuck".

Mallory gave him a side-eyed, almost admonishing look.

"So just who the hell have you pissed off lately?"

"You mean aside from the terrorists, villains, and general megalomaniacs that hate England, MI6, and/or the very man responsible for their capture in the first place?"

He got a dry look in return.

"Yes, Q. Asides from them".

He let out a heavy breath.

"... No one. None that I can think of. I mean, in the past, yeah, sure, but… There's no one now, not recently, and even if there was, don't you think there would have been some kind of warning or threat or-"

He abruptly stopped.

"Pup?" James asked quietly.

He remained still.

"... Cub?" Alec prompted.

Alexis slowly reached out and poked his cheek.

Q blinked.

"... You're all gonna think I'm an idiot".

"You're literally the smartest person in England, Q".

"Fuck you, I'm the smartest person in Europe!" he shot back automatically, mind still reeling. "But... maybe not in relation to this".

"Have you thought of someone?" M asked, "You mentioned that they'd make a threat, before trailing off".

"Thought of someone, no. Been threatened… Yeah. I have".

The double-0s immediately exploded with questions.

"What?!"

"When?!"

"Who?!"

"How?!"

"Why?!"

"I didn't think it was important!" he yelled over them, effectively cutting them off before-

"You're right".

Five snarls immediately reverberated around the room but James refused to lower his gaze.

"You really are a fucking idiot".

And despite everything, Q laughed.

"Okay, we need to look at this as objectively as possible" M announced, "You said you've been threatened. How?"

"Well, I don't know if threatened is necessarily the right word" Q mused, "But there's definitely been a few… strange things that I never thought much of at the time, but now… now I'm not so sure…"

"The fucking break-in" Duncan said suddenly, "To your flat a few weeks back. Edie said it was-"

"-a scare tactic" she finished, "They didn't take anything or leave anything behind, they just wanted to make you nervous".

"And we did say that it had to be someone here at '6" Alec continued, "Someone who knew your schedule. Someone who also tipped off Hans fucking Mortner that day he attacked you leaving the accounts department".

"But if I remember correctly, Quartermaster, you were very much against that theory".

Q was - had been - because he hadn't wanted to believe it, to believe that someone at MI6 could hate him that much to make him fear for his life. Now, however…

An eidetic memory was a blessing at the best of times, but it also meant that he was incapable of forgetting any of the tiny little inconveniences that had happened over the past few months - and that suddenly weren't looking so tiny anymore.

"Pup?" James prompted, "What are you thinking?"

"... My taser broke" he said slowly, staring down at his mud-stained trousers, "Right before I met Mortner at that nightclub which meant I couldn't defend myself. And my Scrabble mug went missing and I still haven't found it. And someone told Mortner that I was going to be in that stairwell a few months ago. And my flat was broken into using the spare key I keep in my desk. And I was almost just kidnapped by three people who knew exactly when I'd be on that street… This is an inside job".

There was a long beat of silence after those words.

A mole at MI6 was the only explanation that fit, after all. Whoever it was knew his schedule, his habits, and also had enough skill to coordinate everything. This wasn't a simple junior agent or HR worker; this was someone careful and cunning and with above-average intelligence.

But who would do this? Who would go to all that trouble? They didn't have to try and scare him first, didn't have to threaten him to varying degrees over the past few months - they could have just kidnapped him from the side of the road last November when he'd first been made Quartermaster!

Unless this had nothing to do with him being Quartermaster.

Or, conversely, was a result of something specific that he'd done as Quartermaster.

"If we assume that Mortner's first attack was his own personal vendetta, then meeting him at Euphoria would have been the first of these instances" he continued carefully, "Which means the threats started sometime in May".

"Which in turn means that you ended up on the radar of whoever is behind this sometime in May" Alexis realised, catching on quickly, "Or, at least, they finally gathered enough resources to start threatening you then".

"Could Mortner be behind this?" Edie pondered out loud, but Q shook his head. "No. You lot killed him that night at the club, but my flat wasn't broken into until about a week later".

"Not that I'm questioning the skills of a double-0" M started cautiously, "But are you absolutely positive that Hans Mortner is dead?"

"Yes" James said firmly, "I ripped his throat out myself".

"And then we dismembered him" Alexis added cheerfully, "And put the various body parts in three separate drums of acid… or was it four? No. No, I think it was three".

M was starting to look somewhat… queasy.

"The point is, he's dead" Q finished, taking pity on the man, "Very dead. So I think it's safe to say that he had nothing to do with this".

"Except for the fact that he knew you would be at that club" Alec pointed out, "That wasn't a coincidence, cub; he'd dyed his hair and everything! Someone here knew that he hated you and more importantly, knew where you were going that night".

"So who does that narrow it down to?" Saif asked, "Assuming, of course, that this is the same person. Who knew where you'd be that night?"

"Aside from you lot and Eve... most of my branch" he admitted reluctantly, "But it couldn't be one of them! To begin with, I hired over two-thirds of my minions personally! Don't you think I did a thorough background check?!"

"We're not saying that you didn't, sweetheart" Edie soothed, running a hand up and down his arm, "And chances are, if it is someone from your branch, then it's one of the people that you didn't hire. How many survived the explosion last year?"

"Twelve, but I'm telling you, it's not one of them! Everyone gets along wonderfully! TSS is the only branch that HR doesn't have a single harassment file on!" he protested, "Well, aside from when you and Charlie attacked Daniel that one time, but I assured HR that I would deal with it and I did! It's not one of mine!"

"We'll look into it" M said diplomatically, "There's too many things lining up for it not to be an MI6 employee, but it could just as easily be someone from the accounting department, for example. I'll assign a few agents to look into the most likely suspects, see if they have any motive or opportunity to do any of this".

"Aren't we missing the fucking obvious?" Duncan grumbled, "Why the fuck is someone doing this in the first place?"

Which-

Yeah, actually.

"I mean, the kidnapping I get, no offence brat" he continued, "But why fucking threaten you first day? What did they gain by doing that?"

"If I were to kidnap someone, I wouldn't bother warning them first" Edie agreed, like that wasn't a totally un-hypothetical "if", and next to her, Alexis nodded. "Yeah, that's a good point. The element of surprise, and all that. It's… weird that they spent so much time and effort trying to scare you, hun".

"No, it isn't" Alec countered, a knowing smirk on his ridiculously handsome face, "Think about it. If Q had recognised those threats for what they were, and he wasn't part of our pack… what would have happened?"

The omega adamantly refused to blush at part of our pack and instead forced his more logical side into action. If he hadn't been friends with the double-0s and he'd been attacked by Mortner or threatened in his own branch, then he'd have gone straight to M instead of his murder pack. And if M had thought that was genuinely being put in harm's way then-

"You would've been shipped off to an MI6 safe house" James realised, straightening up, "Far away from the double-0s, far away from the regular agents, far away from-"

"-protection" Q finished grimly, "I would have been a sitting duck, perfectly positioned for someone to break in and kidnap me".

"With all due respect, Quartermaster, MI6's safe houses are a bit more protected than-"

"With all due respect, Mallory" Duncan interrupted with absolutely zero respect whatsoever, "That's a load of fucking bullshit and you know it! Whoever is doing this works inside MI6 and is smart enough to alter Q's own fucking security! They're intelligent enough and skilled enough to tamper with the camera feed at his flat - and you don't think that finding out which safe house he's put in is fucking doable for them?!"

M scowled, irritated, but they all knew that Duncan had a point. If it was that easy for them to cut off his alarm and delete his security tapes, then hacking into the safe house database would be a walk in the park, and once they had that information, they could simply walk in and take him. The whole point of being put in a safe house was total isolation from anyone who wanted to harm him - but that was meaningless if the person in question could find out exactly where he was, stranded alone and defenceless.

"You're not going to a fucking safe house, brat" he continued, shaking his head, "I don't give a damn what the MI6 protocols are, leaving you there would be handing you over to whoever the fuck is doing this on a silver platter! Mallory-"

"M" he corrected firmly.

"Mallory" Duncan snarled.

The older alpha sighed and briefly raised his gaze to the ceiling as if asking for strength, before turning back to him.

"Yes, 003, what is it?"

"You are not putting him in a fucking safe house!"

"So I've heard" he replied, exasperated, "Okay. If we're right about this, then whoever wants to kidnap you is understandably cautious about the double-0s since apparently, if it weren't for them, you'd have been abducted by now".

The dark look on his face told them all just how annoyed he was at how little faith the double-0s had in MI6's security.

"I'm assigning you a protection detail; you lot can sort out the rotating shifts yourself. Quartermaster, make a list of what they need to pick up for you at your flat. We already know that your attackers know where you live and how to get in, so you are not going back there until further notice".

"Sir! Surely I can-"

"No, Q, you cannot. One of the double-0s can collect your cats and whatever else you want and move them to 006 and 007's apartment. I assume that you have no protests, gentlemen?"

James and Alec both shook their heads with irritatingly smug smirks on their faces.

"Sir, they don't need to-"

"Q, put simply, it's like this". M's piercing gaze bore into his own. "I'd rather you be pissed off with me than dead. So deal with it!"

"But-"

"No!" he interrupted sharply, "No ifs, buts, or maybes! The Prime Minister of England is dead, the British government is still in chaos, there's an unknown apocalyptic drug somewhere at large, Ourumov is still in the wind, and one of my best agents is in a coma, so the last bloody thing that this country needs right now is for the Quartermaster of MI6 to be taken off the chess board as well!"

M briefly closed his eyes and took a deep, somewhat shaky breath.

"So here's what's going to happen. You are going to get an around-the-clock double-0 protection detail. You are going to go straight from here back to wherever the hell those two monsters hibernate. And you are not going to argue with me… If nothing else happens between now and the end of the week, then you can come back to the office on Monday with a constant armed escort, but until then, you are going to be kept safe!"

Q scowled, folding his arms across his chest with a mutinous glare. It wasn't that he didn't want to move in with James and Alec again - in fact, there was a part of him that wanted nothing more - but he didn't like not being a choice on the matter, especially since they still didn't know who was behind all of this.

Maybe it really was a series of unconnected events and all of this fuss and panic and decision-making was all for nothing. Maybe there was no one out to get him and everything was just a coincidence. Maybe Mortner got lucky and someone misplaced his Scrabble mug and his security system had a glitch.

Or maybe… he was somebody's number one most wanted.

"Don't act like this isn't going to happen anyway, Quartermaster" M said, with another long-suffering sigh, "At least this way, I can pretend that it was my idea - and that I still actually have control over these wolves!"