The Butterfly Effect

by TheMightyDonnaPaulsen

The butterfly effect involves the idea that small things can lead to big change. How much could change over the years if a Donna met Harvey five years earlier and they weren't working together? They might date, break up when life pulls them in different directions, leaving Donna to figure out how she is going to tell her ex she just found out she is pregnant. AU fic

8. Chapter 8

A/N: I'm so sorry again for the wait and the length. It's not my preference to write such lengthy chapters that just keep getting longer. With the way I divide it in my head, if I don't publish in these chunks, I know I will second guess myself too much and rewrite things too often. Thanks for bearing with me! You might notice that we are catching up to some of the flashbacks on the show and that some dialogue from it is included or similar, and with additions. I don't want to borrow too much, but I want it to tie in and I hope I found the right balance. Thank you again for the reviews and for reading. As always, I hope you enjoy!

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May 20, 2001 – Present Day

Harvey had a plan.

It was a pretty great plan, if you asked him, but it was also a terrifying one. He couldn't let that hold him back anymore, though, it was time to follow through. They couldn't carry on the way they had been, and he couldn't fall back on the same excuses. Not when he could see things so clearly now, and not when he had to face the fact that others had been looking, touching, too.

He could man up for this, he had to, and it wasn't like he wasn't used to high stakes. Poker tended to do that. Especially considering he got his start playing in games that weren't necessarily on the up and up.

Money could be replenished, however, he could aways make more. At worst, back then, it would have pissed off his roommate if the bills were past due, or his landlord if his rent was a little late. Those were consequences he could shrug off without much concern, and he didn't really lose anyway.

If he did, somehow, he would play the next man better, win the next pot, get his money back. Swinging for the fences was easy to do, when you knew that if you struck out, there were more at bats to follow.

This plan, though, this was about Donna. There were no higher stakes. If he lost her, she could never be replaced, and he knew that he could never recover.

Good thing he had it all worked out.

Her graduation was tomorrow, on a Monday, which wasn't ideal for his job, but worked quite nicely otherwise. In a couple of hours, he would go pick up a car from the car club. It wasn't his first choice, there were waitlists for that. Technically, he only had a trial membership anyway, so he wouldn't have access to the full inventory until he could afford to be a full-fledged member.

Regardless, the 1968 Bullitt Ford Mustang was a seductive choice that would help him make a romantic gesture. People often underestimated him in that department, but he cared about the details, especially so with Donna. He would pull out all the stops and do anything to help shift the odds in his favor.

Wearing his best suit, he'd drive up with a bouquet of flowers. Clara had already agreed to watch Addy, though Donna was none the wiser. Generally, when he could, he would still make the trek Friday night or Saturday morning to see his girls, but he had to stay later to make missing Monday work.

It would be okay though, because he'd take her to an early dinner, someplace cozy where they could really talk. It wasn't often that the idea to do so came from him in the first place. Explaining, or even understanding, his own feelings was something that Donna had always been better at.

This time, he would step up, because they needed to get on the same page. Everything was right when they were.

Their first go around, he hadn't been looking for a relationship. When he saw her on that stage, however, he couldn't take his eyes off her. He nearly forgot how to breathe, and he immediately knew he had to know her.

It only took one date to let himself get swept away, and it had carried him someplace he never should have left.

At the time, his defenses weren't up. Not in the way they would have been had he met her after everything with Lily had reached its lowest point. The ability to trust in love, relationships, or just in general, would likely have been far too eroded. He wouldn't have let himself be open to anything beyond carnal urges and casual companionship.

If fate was something he believed in, he would have slapped that label all over the good fortune it took to stumble upon her before the fallout with his mother. He couldn't remember the name of the woman he had brought to the play to impress, but it really didn't matter. His life changed forever when he first saw Donna.

He had loved her, he still loved her, but he had still managed to ruin it. She was the best thing that ever happened to him, and he let her walk out the door. That wasn't accurate, he had pushed her out, and had only half assed an attempt to make it right in the aftermath.

When he failed at that too, he had tried to convince himself he didn't need her by being with Scottie. Even after Donna came back into his life with an additional one that they had made together, he was so afraid of losing her for good that he had tried to dull the ache for her with other women.

Scottie had, but the phase after didn't last long because he was around Donna too often to pretend that he wanted anyone else. Still, he hesitated, because she had a rule and he had to be certain that she even wanted the same.

He wasn't sure about that now, but he was sure that remaining stagnant wasn't the better option. It wasn't going to bring her back into his arms and his bed, his life, in the way that he craved desperately.

He was drowning without her, but he didn't have to let it continue. She was his life, her and Addy, and he wasn't really living if he didn't have her fully and completely.

Being with her, like they were over Christmas break, but with even less restrictions and more permanency, that was all he wanted. It would chase away the numbness and fill the hole her absence had torn open. He wouldn't feel so empty anymore.

Too much time had already been wasted, and then Mark happened. It was a bitter reminder of the cost of inaction.

He wasn't even entirely sure that Mark wasn't still happening, but he didn't want to wait around and press his luck. For the first time in a long time, they were going to be in the same city. If it were up to him, they would be under the same roof, parenting their daughter and committing to each other.

His fear still pulsated to the beat of his heart, but he could accept it now. It was a testament to her worth, that he struggled so much to believe he was worthy. He knew he didn't deserve her, and he doubted that there was a man alive that did, but he at least knew he would never stop trying to.

He knew it now, and it was time that she did too.

Dinner would be early because when they returned from it, having laid it all on the table and having reached the joint conclusion that they were meant to raise Addy together in every sense of the word, he didn't want it to be too late. He needed there to be enough time to do something special with their girl too.

She was just as much a part of it, and he would never lose sight of that.

His nerves were off the charts, but he was embarrassingly giddy too. So much so, that he was glad he was finishing his work at home before driving over. If anyone at the office saw him right now, he would have one hell of a time maintaining his hardened reputation. His sappy look of anticipation was far too conspicuous for that.

If she would have him, he was getting his woman back tonight. He wasn't going to let her go again.

To make that all happen, first he had to finish preparing his cases. Throwing his head back into his files, he was annoyed when his cell rang and interrupted. He didn't want to leave any later than he had to, and he had a few "i's" to dot before he could.

This stiffness in his back, from being hunched over his desk since early in the morning, and late the night before, was blaring, as he stood up and picked up the call. If his focus was going to be diverted, he might as well sneak in one more cup of coffee before his roughly two-hour drive.

"Hey dickhe… Harvey," Marcus opened with, his voice wavering.

Breaking bad news to Harvey wasn't something he had a lot of experience in. In fact, their father usually took care of it for him. Gordon had the prerequisite patience to navigate Harvey's mood swings and immediate resistance.

Marcus tended to give back the same energy, which often devolved into fighting. This wasn't exactly something he would ask his dad to handle, however, not that it helped him be any more prepared. Gordon also had Harvey's respect, while Marcus sometimes felt like he could never earn it.

"Marcus? What do you need, I am busy," Harvey replied gruffly, while making his way to the kitchen.

When the phone rang, Harvey's thoughts had jumped to another jolt of caffeine, and not to checking who was calling. Hearing his younger brother on the other end of the line came as a surprise to him. It wasn't as if they hadn't talked at all during the last few months, but it was infrequent. More than enough time had passed to bury the hatchet, yet things weren't quite back to normal.

He didn't trust that his brother was over his gambling issues and the lying that accompanied them. There was still guilt lingering on his part from being the one to introduce him to it, and as for Marcus, Harvey knew he blamed him for it.

The strain that it added to their relationship was worsened every time he thought about what had already unfolded. The lying was something he had a tough time tolerating to begin with. His experiences with Lily made all forms of dishonesty towards him nearly unforgiveable, but Marcus's choices were too.

Nearly, because he would always forgive his brother, even with the people he had gotten mixed up with and the hole he had dug himself into, but it wasn't easy. Growing up, they weren't the type of siblings that were best friends, though he had always tried to protect him. That part wasn't changing, and in a way, he felt more responsible for him now, despite their issues.

Thanks to Donna, Harvey had informed his dad about the affair maturely, but Marcus couldn't see it that way. No matter what, he seemed determined to pile on Harvey for even telling their father at all. Marcus was wrong for that, at least in his opinion, but it was Lily's actions that started the ball rolling and he didn't want to hold it against him.

Recently, they were distant, but he would never truly turn his back on him. As long as he never got in so deep again that it posed another threat to Addy and Donna.

"I don't really know how to say this, so I am just going to cut right to it," Marcus started, cracking open a can beer. It was early to drink, but he thought he earned it with this call.

While he listened, Harvey poured the dregs of the pot into his mug before he leaned back against the counter and braced himself for whatever his brother had to say.

"Bobby asked Mom to marry him. She wasn't sure at first, but she is going to do it," he informed, not attempting to soften the message. There really wasn't a point, not for Harvey, and he knew it.

"The hell she is," Harvey responded venomously, nearly splashing his coffee as he jerked forward from where he was resting.

"Harvey–" Marcus attempted.

"No, I don't believe it. How could she do this to Dad?" he cut in, his voice pained and angry.

"Their relationship is over, Harvey, and what is done is done. You're the one who told him in the first place! You didn't even give her the chance to come clean herself and maybe fix things," he exclaimed.

Marcus knew that what his mother did was wrong, but he loved her still, and felt the need to defend her. He loved his father as well, of course, but he believed that love meant forgiveness. Harvey might not ever see it that way, and it made him lose his patience.

The relationship part of things wasn't their business, and he wished his older brother could get it.

"You can't be serious. You still think it's my fault when mom was fucking the neighbor?" Harvey snapped at him. He was tired of the same accusations.

"I've asked you this before, and I'll ask you this again. What do you care anyway? You hardly come around here to see Dad or the rest of your family. Hell, you knocked up Donna and didn't feel the need to marry the mother of your child. Let's not pretend you give two shits about family," Marcus bit back, letting his emotions get the best of him.

He snatched up a stress ball from the table, but squeezing it wasn't helping.

Harvey could have ripped him a new one for laying any of the blame on him. Again. In Marcus's eagerness to maintain his relationship with Lily, he never took the time to consider what she really did, and where their dad fit in it all.

The desire to drag his brother into the ring and whale on him until he effectively knocked some sense into him was strong. That was before he had to go and bring Donna into it. That also was not a first.

"You don't know anything about me and Donna. She is my family and that's not changing," Harvey growled at him after clenching a fist and his jaw.

"Whatever you say, dickhead. But whether you like it or not, Mom is too. People get divorced, and many of them get remarried. It's just what people do. It's not some big slap in the face, and it's not about you. Not everything is, asshole," Marcus nearly shouted.

He started pacing as he continued ranting.

"She wasn't even going to say yes initially. Because of you. She told Bobby that she wanted to wait, to see if with time she could patch things up with you first. I guess she realized she could be waiting forever considering you have a three-year-old daughter that she's never even met," he continued angrily.

Marcus was spitting mad, literally.

"Usually divorce comes before screwing another man, but she wasn't thinking about what it would do to Dad before she fucked Bobby. I'm not surprised she's not thinking about us now before she marries him," Harvey said, seething.

"Were you thinking about Donna when you were fucking Scottie?" Marcus taunted.

It wasn't a fair comparison, but he made it anyway. Donna would always be Harvey's biggest weak spot besides Lily, and when Marcus was upset, he used it against him.

"God damn it, Marcus, it's not the same thing. We weren't together then, and if you don't stop trying to bring Donna into every conversation, I swear I'm going to…" he trailed off, but he knew Marcus understood the threat. Brother or not, he would put him through a fucking wall.

"You'd actually have to show your face around here to do that," Marcus retorted, pressing him, before he reevaluated. This was exactly what he had hoped to avoid.

He paused to take a calming breath while pinching the bridge of his nose.

He knew Harvey would react like this, but he had meant to keep his own mood and words in check better. This was the same brother who looked out for him growing up, the same one who fixed shit when he got in trouble.

From what he could see, from a distance, fatherhood was steering his older brother in the right direction. No one would claim that Harvey didn't love his daughter, or Donna too for that matter. He was maturing, but their mother seemed to create an exception.

"She didn't even wait for the fucking ink to dry," Harvey sputtered, cutting into Marcus's thoughts. "I don't give two fucks about what other people do," he followed, returning to Marcus's earlier words. "She made a fool out of Dad for years and now she's rubbing it in his face."

"That's not what she's doing, Harvey. Maybe one day you'll understand that," he concluded, before doing the same with the call.

Harvey remained standing in the kitchen rigidly as he attempted to work himself down.

Even after he broke the news to their father, and the shouting matches that followed, he had never told Marcus just how long he knew about everything. He never explained that Lily had made him betray their dad, his hero. She made him compromise what he valued most in loyalty and she made a liar out of him.

Maybe Marcus's lack of understanding was his fault for not explaining, but it made no difference in the moment. The thought of Lily getting remarried disgusted him. He didn't want to care. As far as he was concerned, she was nothing to him, but the rage still overtook him.

After Marcus had hung up, his fist had tightened on his phone to the point that he couldn't believe he hadn't crushed it. The urge to throw it against the wall was overwhelming, but he had placed it on the counter and tried to regulate his breathing.

His phone was still safe, but it turned out his coffee cup wasn't. Grabbing the oversized mug, he fired it at the wall. The shattering of the ceramic cup was almost hypnotic. He stood frozen, still huffing loudly through his nose, as he watched the dark liquid stream down the wall.

For a brief second, his rage shifted to the heavy sadness that he was shrouded in. Sadness for the innocence lost so early in his childhood and sadness for his father, who he knew would take in the news with generous acceptance. He also knew it would still gut him.

With his next haggard breath, the anger returned, and in himself, the disappointment.

…..

He was supposed to be in Connecticut by now, hours ago actually. Had he gone, they'd already be done with dinner and would have spent some time with Addy before putting her to bed. They might be asleep themselves, or at least recharging their batteries. It would probably have taken some light convincing, being under her parents' roof and all, but reunion sex was quite enticing.

Especially when it was the two of them, or maybe, more accurately, only. Her body was his greatest vice, and he knew indulging in each other couldn't be so insanely good without some reciprocation.

He took that possibility off the table when he failed to make it there, and he didn't even call Clara to let her know babysitting wasn't needed. Instead of her, he had called Alex Williams, and convinced him to find a poker tournament for the two of them.

He needed one of those nights that dragged on until the sun came up because slowing down wasn't an option. Alex was reluctant, but Harvey was a closer.

"You've got to be the luckiest motherfucker. You've been on tilt all night and playing stupid shit, but you're still taking my money," Alex complained, as he tossed down his cards in defeat with a little extra oomph.

Harvey knew Alex was right, not that he would ever admit it. He was still winning, but he was playing recklessly. Bluffing when he normally wouldn't, not reading his opponents, ignoring any strategy, he was just chasing the adrenal. Every rush he got was a distraction, and an avenue for his anger.

"I don't get lucky, little man. I make my own luck," he boasted out of habit. There was in fact a lot of luck involved tonight, although only when it came to poker.

It definitely wasn't good luck that made Marcus call him the same day he hoped to reunite with Donna. More like a cruel joke or shitty fucking karma.

There was no good luck involved when he had walked in on his mother. Again. His dad certainly wasn't lucky when he fell in love with a disloyal cheater.

The intrusive thoughts were creeping back in. That was what slowing down allowed. He tried to chase them away with yet another drink, even though he was close to getting cut off. When he couldn't force his mind onto something else, like playing his next hand, his thoughts kept returning to his father.

He thought about how he let his mom go on for years and years, while his dad still considered her his soulmate. He thought about what it must feel like, to have the love of your life betray you for over a decade, then move on while you were still broken.

"Normally, I might agree with you," Alex responded. "But you're drinking like a fucking flounder and playing 'bout as smart as one. What's going on with you, Bro?" he asked, in the spirit of being a good buddy.

It was obvious that there was something. He'd seen Harvey in a mood before, but this was different, more intense.

"Nothing that's any of your god damned business," Harvey grunted with a tone of finality. He tossed a few chips into the pot, staying aggressive unnecessarily.

"Nuh-uh," he responded and wagged his finger. "I didn't let you drag my ass out here to flip me shit. Rosalie is going to be pissed about how late I am already, so you better tell me what has you going on like this."

Alex folded, but another player to his left raised. The rest of the table was largely silent, although that hadn't been the case earlier when Harvey was exchanging words with them. They were likely focused on beating him now, as he had provided plenty of extra motivation.

The odds were that Harvey couldn't keep winning, not with the way he was playing. Alex got the impression that he didn't care either way, and that would be a first for him.

"We're here because I want to play poker, not paint our nails and braid each other's hair like we're 12-year-old fucking girls," Harvey standoffishly retorted.

He was here to avoid thinking, not to talk about the reasons causing him to want to.

"Harvey, I have a young kid at home. I don't get out much right now, but I am here because I could tell you needed a friend," Alex told him firmly, while he tried to decide whether he should call or fold.

The guilt hit Harvey like a sledgehammer. Not the part about dragging Alex out selfishly, just from the mention of his child. He had a young daughter too, waiting for him. Yet, he was here instead of being with her, and supporting her mother.

There was still plenty of time, but he knew he wasn't going to make Donna's graduation. He had promised he would always be there for the important things, and Christ, he was so fucking proud of her, but he couldn't be around people that mattered in this state of mind.

"I'm not going to explain it," he warned, holding up a hand. "There is just some shit going on, and I can't deal with it right now. I am supposed to be at Donna's graduation tomorrow, but it's not going to work out." He surprised himself by admitting that last part.

It was going to hurt her, him not being there, but not as much as if he showed up acting the way he was tonight.

Being a dick, or lashing out when he had emotions that he didn't want to deal with, wasn't new to him. It was pretty much his main coping mechanism. That, and poker nights filled with booze or blunts. The situation, as with everything, was different with Donna.

It wasn't that he had never bitten her head off without merit. He had taken it out on her before too, and while she could usually snap him out of it, it wouldn't be fair to put her through it on a day that was supposed to be about her.

He wouldn't ruin an achievement this special. Yale Law School was something in itself, but she had pulled it off without it even being her plan, and with a baby to boot. It was remarkable, she was, and he couldn't screw it up for her.

"Jesus, Harvey. You're here with me instead of being there for your woman? What the hell are you thinking?" Alex questioned with genuine surprise.

He had met Harvey playing poker, and he'd only known him a few years, but he could say with confidence his friend had met his match with Donna. Before her, he probably would have thought Harvey to be years, or millenniums, away from being serious about a woman. With her, it was like he was a different man, a better one.

If he let himself, Alex knew Harvey could have what he did with Rosalie. He just needed to pull his head out of his ass to make it happen.

To answer Alex's question, internally, not verbally of course, Harvey was thinking about how his control was all but gone, and how he was too volatile in his current headspace. He was thinking about who would be there, and how it would only make him more on edge.

Yale apparently gave out more tickets than Harvard, and Donna had Donna'd her way into securing extra on top of them. Jim would surely be there, and he had certainly been cantankerous, to put it mildly, since things took a turn for the worse with Clara. Sitting next to him was tempting fate on a good day.

Her friends would be there as well, armed with poking and prodding questions. He wouldn't be able to muster the patience needed to tolerate the intrusion, or the tact needed to deflect it.

It was obvious to him that he couldn't get through it. He couldn't sit there faking a smile and making small talk. The very first barb from Jim, or even sideways glance, could set him off. He couldn't do that to Donna. He couldn't risk embarrassing her and making it about him when all he really wanted to do was celebrate her.

It would be better if he didn't go, but he couldn't quite convince himself that she would feel the same. When he closed his eyes, he could see the sadness lining her perfect face.

A waitress in outfit that was a cross between a Hooter's uniform and a Playboy Bunny's, walked by. Harvey signaled her for another drink. He couldn't keep letting himself image Donna's reaction, he needed his mind's eyesight to be more blurry.

Alex caught Harvey's motion and shook his head in disapproval before speaking. "Are you sure you want another one of those, man? I don't think it's helping," he warned, tipping his head in the direction of the waitress.

He had never seen his friend this drunk before. At least not when there was an emotion-based reason for it. Socially, for a party, Harvey could really toss them back. There was a difference when it was in the name of fun or blowing off steam, when it lacked the current hostility.

Harvey was the type of guy who could handle his alcohol. In the sense that his speech wasn't slurred significantly, and he wasn't at all clumsy. His temper, however, was another story when he indulged under the wrong circumstances.

The term "angry drunk" might have been coined in preparation for this night out. Half of the guys at the poker club had already gotten into it with him verbally. Alex was increasingly worried that it might culminate in a fight test for their friendship.

He would have Harvey's back, if it came down to blows, but he would prefer not to have to. The last thing he wanted to do was to have to explain away a black eye to Rosalie, especially when he was already out later than expected. Adding fuel to the fire was best avoided, but that was easier said than done when it came to Harvey.

"I can make my own decisions, Mommy," Harvey responded, rolling his eyes and raising, even though all he had was a six-nine suited.

Weak players played that hand, but, on a night like this, he didn't care about losing any more than he cared to watch his alcohol intake. When the drink arrived, he would be sure to take it like a shot, just to make a point of it.

"Don't I know it, Harvey," Alex conceded with a sigh of resignation, shaking his head again. "But it doesn't make them good ones."

May 21, 2001 – Present Day

She did it. She fucking did it.

It took three years, three long years that were finally over. Somehow, now, and in the moment, it felt like it had all been a whirlwind.

Now that she was through it – through the sleepless nights with a teething baby and a paper due in the morning, past dealing with nursing at all hours and pumping at school, and done with balancing checkups, shots, sickness, never-ending piles of laundry and diaper blowouts with making it to her classes – it felt like it was just yesterday that it had all started.

The little redheaded girl who had lost her friends, her home, her beloved piano, and her sense of stability when her dad had risked away their family money, was here now.

She had worked her ass off to graduate from Yale the first time at twenty years old. She had moved back to New York, got cast in her first professional play, made ends meet by busing tables, and met the man she loved.

Then, they broke up, she discovered she was pregnant, and had been forced to make a plan that would ensure she could care for her kid. Her daughter, her beautiful gift that had been the best part of this whole journey.

A journey that had culminated in her being where she was now, standing on this stage and walking with the other graduates. Many of who were trust fund babies, or students that had charted their paths long before she had been reduced to searching between couch cushions for coins to pay for her next ramen meal, or pulling extra shifts to pay for headshots that she hoped would help secure auditions.

As she crossed the stage, as she was handed her diploma, and as she posed for the obligatory handshake photo with the dean, it hit her how far she had come. She was damned proud of herself, and thought that he would be too, but when she looked, he wasn't there.

Her eyes had been constantly scanning, but never found their target. The smile that had been plastered on her face since she woke up early in the morning began to falter with each empty pass. He said he would be there. He told her that he would always be, that they don't miss the big things, not with each other.

She should have left her phone in her purse with her mother, but the dress underneath her robes had pockets, and she had taken advantage. Every chance she had to, she checked it. There were no missed calls, no voicemails, nor any of those convenient text messages.

He didn't come, and he didn't call, and it crushed her.

It was just a graduation. She knew deep down that she was scaling up the significance in her mind. If he had called her beforehand and told her he couldn't get out of work, or something of the sort, she would have never held it against him. Becoming a lawyer was the important part of it all, not the commencement on the path to it.

With the timing of the ceremony, however, and the end of her rule, she knew she had built up her expectations.

Maybe it was stupid, but the Harvey she knew was a romantic. It wasn't something that he necessarily broadcast, but she knew it from their time together. She had thought that they were close to turning a corner, and that this might be the time to do it.

Maybe it was something that she had assigned too much value to in her head, but after Addy had gotten sick, and he had been there for the both of them, it felt like they had worked through their earlier strain. It felt like with her rule ending, something was beginning.

That rule, her stupid rule that was meant to protect. The rule that she thought she needed for a time, because of their history and her healing, was supposed to be over today. Perhaps it should have been over sooner. Perhaps it had reached a point where it was only a barrier to what they could already have, but it shouldn't matter. Not if he showed up and was ready for more today. If he came to make his move and make her his, it wouldn't matter if they had stumbled along the way.

She loved him, and she would always love him. That much was clear to her. There had to be a reason he didn't come.

She had to know what the reason was.

…..

He wasn't at his apartment when she had checked there, and the DA's office was next on her list, but that could be dealt with over the phone. Assuming a receptionist or secretary would answer, because Harvey certainly hadn't.

When she was living in the city, and going back and forth between the restaurants she worked at and wherever an audition or show might lead her, she usually took the subway. Cabs were an option on occasion, and became more of one after that night she didn't like to think about, but the more she spent on transportation, the more shifts she had to pick up.

She was more than used to the bustle, but mainly as a pedestrian attempting to avoid getting hit by a frustrated driver trying to take advantage of any gap to the gridlock. Being the one behind the wheel now was aggravating, especially with her mind on Harvey and his absence.

The cars just inching forward, the symphony of horns honking in surround sound, and of course the idiots darting in front of her every time she might have had the chance to make the light or a turn, was maddening. She was one more entitled asshole swerving in front of her away from abandoning her mom's car and finding Harvey on foot.

If the driving conditions weren't enough, her mind was spiraling even quicker as more time passed without answers. It wasn't just the disappointment or the hurt anymore, either.

What if he was in an accident on the way?

Now the fear was starting to set in.

What if he's in the hospital.

The best way to avoid fully panicking was to start to game plan how she would tackle it.

A computer would be needed, maybe a phonebook too. There were plenty of hospitals in New York alone, and she would have to call each one, but also every other along the route to Yale until she exhausted all options or located him.

After a deep breath, followed by a couple light slaps to her face, she gave herself a mini pep talk. There might be some convincing involved, so she needed to control her emotions and slip into Donna mode.

No, I'm not family, but he's the father of my child and I can't find him.

Please, just ignore HIPPA this one time.

As she tapped the steering wheel in nervous frustration, she realized she was settling too easily into the idea of an accident, and she didn't want that to be the case. She also realized she should have looked around his apartment more before she left it. If he wasn't hurt, as she sincerely hoped, and something else had come up, there might have been something lying around that indicated as much.

Barring a medical crisis, there were only so many places he could be. She made the call to the office, and his secretary confirmed that he had the day off. That also ruled out the courthouse or some random location for a work-related meeting.

Gordon had called to congratulate her earlier in the morning. He was apologetic for being out of town for a gig and unable to attend her ceremony. She thought it was sweet that he would even want to, and she was sure he would have mentioned Harvey, had he spontaneously gone to see him.

Lily wasn't an option, and Harvey would have called her if Marcus had some sort of emergency. As she continued to run through her mental list of places, it hit her suddenly that there was one more that he could be.

Scottie's.

He could be at Scottie's considering that only a couple of months ago, Donna had seen her at his. She had never mentioned it to Harvey, and had tried, not quite so successfully, to forget it, but it could explain why when she thought things were looking up again, he would disappear.

The guessing instead of simply asking was getting old. She made her mind up to go and check for him there, despite her apprehension. It was her hope that it would be just another location to scratch off the list. If she found him, at least she'd have her answers, and on multiple fronts at that.

That Scottie had even moved back to New York was an assumption on her part. There was no reason for Donna to have kept tabs, and she hadn't, but she was willing to bet that Harvey wouldn't have started up a relationship that was long-distance with his ex. Not when it was the reason for him breaking up with her.

Thankfully, with her connections being the way they were, she figured out exactly where Scottie lived with just a couple phone calls. By a stroke of luck, she hadn't been far from the address that she had plugged into the Garmin affixed to the dashboard.

She was knocking on Scottie's door before she knew it.

"Donna," Scottie announced, in way of an observation, when she swung open the front door.

The redhead showing up on her doorstep wasn't something she had on her Bingo card, but she took a page from her courthouse playbook and concealed her surprise.

"Is Harvey here?" Donna demanded, not beating around the bush and being more than transparent with her posture and demeanor.

This time, Scottie couldn't fight off her reaction. "I'm sorry, what?" she questioned, with her face reflecting her confusion.

"Harvey, is he in there?" Donna asked again, speaking a little more slowly in a way that was both aggressive and condescending.

She immediately felt catty for it, and she hated that she couldn't resist looking over Scottie's shoulder into the apartment as if she was going to see him standing there. Her intention wasn't to come so fired up, but her day had already been a trying one.

"I don't admit this very often, Donna, but I'm clueless. Why would Harvey– you know what, just come inside," she decided with a bit of annoyance, and stepped back to allow entrance.

The shift to an invitation settled Donna some. As irrational as it was, she had felt like she was a breath away from taking off her earrings or starring in a Brandy and Monica music video. Those impulses also didn't align with her intentions.

She followed the shorter brunette inside, glancing around and taking the place in. Scottie was clearly doing well for herself. The luxury living quarters were large by New York standards, and from the looks of it, she had enlisted the services of an interior decorator with exquisite taste. Curiously, there was also a sea of half packed boxes.

"Should we call a cease fire and have a drink?" Scottie offered, already making her way to her liquor cabinet. Even if Donna didn't want a glass, she knew she needed one.

Donna nodded appreciatively. Figuring the couch was where they were headed, she took a seat without prompting.

"I would say we were never combatants to begin with, but I'm not sure my face would have agreed a few minutes ago." She meant it as a bit of an apology, and thought that Scottie might take it that way too.

Not giving Donna a chance to pick her poison, she poured them both a scotch. It was a fair assumption that being with Harvey had warmed Donna to the taste, had she not been already. Returning to her uninvited guest, Scottie folded a leg underneath her as she sat down on the opposite end of the couch from Donna, after handing her a double.

"I'm guessing you two haven't figured your shit out yet, since you turned up here," Scottie opened with, raising an eyebrow.

"I thought you might know that to be the case already," Donna returned jealously, miffed that she was doing a poor job of disguising it, and letting herself slip back into a mood that she did not welcome.

"As flattering as it is that you find me omniscient, at this point, I'm going to need you to explain that." She gave Donna a pointed look, one that she had often given to Harvey.

"I put two to and two together when I saw you leaving his apartment a while back," she explained, at least finding the right tone. Scottie didn't deserve to be on the receiving end of whatever she was feeling.

"The answer's not four this time, Donna. If you must know, to Harvey, I had an emergency. I believe I told him that a pipe burst or something. To me, I had a case against him and, well, you know," she informed her, shrugging a shoulder.

Even though Donna had been off base with a few ideas so far, Scottie knew she could get the gist of her last comment. The case didn't even end up staying hers, but she hadn't known that at the time, when she was looking for any edge. That detail wasn't important now.

"You were just there to sniff out his trial strategy?" Donna asked rhetorically, laughing inwardly at herself as she sunk back into the couch. There wasn't amusement behind the action, it was carried by resignation and chagrin.

For the last couple of months, she had been a mess of emotions. There were days she had let herself believe that they were finding their way back to each other, but there were more that she had picked herself apart, for thinking she chased him back to his ex. It would have been so easy to clear it up, if only she would have asked him.

Scottie watched her as she seemed to be working through some internal struggle. She closed her eyes briefly and tapped her fingers on her knee as if she was playing the piano one-handed. When she opened them again, she decided to earn a bit of good karma.

"Let me give you a piece of advice," she said, sighing, then holding up a hand when Donna started to interrupt. "Harvey is an idiot," she stated bluntly.

"That's not really advice," Donna replied, with narrowed eyes.

Scottie held up a finger this time, to silence Donna again, and sipped her drink before she resumed. "Harvey is an idiot, but he's in love with you. It was embarrassingly obvious when I was…with him, and it's frustratingly obvious now."

"Still waiting for the advice," Donna mumbled into her glass after realizing she had been nursing it.

"God, you two really are meant for each other," Scottie said with exasperated laugh. "I'm only saying this because I still care about him, though if you tell him that, I'll deny it," she joked, but still paused to let it sink in.

"Harvey isn't afraid of anything, except for you and talking about his feelings. Talking doesn't seem to be a strength of yours either, actually, but if you wait for him to start the conversation, I'm not sure you'll ever have it."

Donna scanned her face and saw the sincerity in it. She never truly had a problem with Scottie, just at times her place in Harvey's life. Still, she gained a newfound respect for her today. She made a mental note to someday repay the favor.

"I… I was going to make an excuse, but you're absolutely right," Donna said with a sheepish smile. "You know, you're not so bad Dana Scott. Might I even dare to say you're awesome."

When she had shown up, she thought she might find Harvey. Gearing up to deal with the hurt that would come with that had put her on edge. She didn't arrive with the grace that she expected of herself, but Scottie had still invited her in, and granted her genuine kindness.

She could see now what Harvey saw in her. If she ever was on the other side of a courtroom battle, she knew better than to trust her there, but outside of one, Scottie had earned an ally.

"Thank you, Donna. I would say the same goes for you, but I am moving to the London office, so I am probably supposed to throw a 'proper' or a 'bloody' in there somewhere."

…..

When he woke up on a couch that felt unfamiliar, and in a basement he did not recognize, panic had set in momentarily. He did a quick assessment as his brain started to catch up to the rest of him, though the rest of him wasn't fairing much better.

Memories of the night before were flooding in as he fumbled for his phone and processed just how dry his mouth was.

Marcus. Lily. Poker with Alex. Copious amounts of booze, and a fist fight to end the night? That explained why his upper lip felt swollen, why the bottom one was cut, and why both sets of knuckles had visible bruises.

His head was pounding, but alcohol did tend to do that as well.

Graduation. Donna.

He was still so pissed about everything with Lily. He was pissed on behalf of his father and for the kid version of himself that carried the burden for so many years, but it was beginning to give way to the anger he felt towards himself for screwing it up with Donna.

Most of the night, he was able to piece together, but the details of the fight were still hazy. Despite the lack of clarity, he knew it was his fault. He had been difficult, to say the least, and the drinks had only sharpened his tongue.

His anger and his concern for acting on it had kept him away from her, but he never should have let it. He should have reined himself in better, he should have been able to control himself well enough to be there. What kind of partner was he if he couldn't find a way to gut through it?

When he closed his eyes, he saw her on stage again. Just like the first time, and just as mesmerizing, but with podiums and flower arrangements instead of props and set designs. She was in a cap and gown, in place of the costume she had been wearing, but even in his fantasy, he still couldn't edit out her sadness.

He hated letting her down, but it felt like it was all he ever did anymore. Every time they managed a step forward, he pulled the rug out from underneath their feet, and their relationship went careening backward.

The thought that she could have dropped her expectations of him already worried him even more so. If she had lost faith, and given up on him, or if this was the final nail in the coffin…it was a thought he didn't want to sponsor.

His mind jumped back to the uncertainty of Mark, and he pictured his face in the crowd this time, and her smiling proudly at him. If that was the case, if he had let that happen…it was another thought he couldn't handle.

He had a plan, damn it. He had a plan, and he had fucked it up it something royally.

The first move he made should have been to call her. She would have calmed him down, and gotten him through the worst of his initial reaction. Her arms and her presence, the way she always found the right words… if he didn't always try to pretend away his hurt way, she could have been his solvent.

The concrete floor beneath his feet was dancing. He hadn't attempted standing up yet, just sitting upright and the motion alone was enough to make his world start spinning.

He couldn't stay here any longer, sulking in the basement. It was already embarrassingly late in the day, and he had to pull himself together.

It would be easy to let himself believe it was too late, with Donna, not the time of day, and fall back on old habits. His dad had warned him before, and he had ignored it with their breakup.

His dad's words were still etched in his mind, and they reminded him of his failure.

February 13, 1997

It was early in the morning, disgustingly so, to the point that his alarm clock had gone off before the sun had risen. People had no patience when it came to receiving their mail, and sorting it took some time before delivery.

Despite his bitching and moaning as the alarm was blaring, and despite debating whether to hit the snooze button or to hit it with the baseball bat he kept near his bed for security, he wasn't considering the hour when he forced himself up and contemplated calling.

The brief internal debate was inspired by his reluctance to reach out to another person in general, not the likelihood that his dad was up late the night before performing. The inconvenience didn't cross Harvey's mind, just the unfamiliar territory he currently found himself in, and the vulnerability it required to seek help navigating it.

He hated asking for advice, but when he did, it was almost exclusively his father that he went to.

When he was younger, it was for things like whether it was okay that he punched out Gregory Beckett for harassing the new girl at school. It was, but the school disagreed, so he had to attempt to learn to play by their rules according to his father.

That wasn't his strength, but it turned out that the youth boxing class that Gordon enrolled him in soon after was one. The next time he got into a fight at school, it only took one right hook to end it.

"Harvey?" Gordon answered, still in a fog, right before it got sent to the machine.

The disoriented sound to his voice made it clear to Harvey that he had woken him up from a deep slumber. The noise from the ruffling sheets and his back cracking, accompanied by a prolonged groan, only made it more apparent.

"Hey, Dad," Harvey returned. He eased into the conversation, despite being short on time, to allow his father some to shake away the cobwebs.

"What the hell time is it anyway?" Gordon asked, his speech still slightly slurred.

He had fumbled around in the darkness to locate his telephone on the nightstand, and just now reached to turn on the lamp. It was a dimmer one, but the brightness was still too much for his weary eyes.

"Late enough for me to wonder why you aren't already at Denny's getting the early bird special. Isn't that what people of your advanced age do with their mornings?" Harvey teased, going for the low-hanging joke.

"You're really going to wake my ass up just to call me an old man?" his father grumbled.

Harvey had another jab lined up, sitting on the tip of his tongue, but he hesitated. Gordon knew his son well enough to pick up on it, and that it meant that Harvey had something more important to get out.

"You're going to have to tell me what's on your mind because I am way too exhausted to pull off a decent Carnac impression," he continued with a yawn after Harvey stayed silent.

The need to talk to his dad might have been strong enough to motivate him to dial his number, but it didn't make the ensuing conversation any easier. With a work question, or just general life concerns, he could manage. It didn't make him feel weak the same way it did when it involved examining his feelings.

He wasn't Mr. Rogers after all, or stuck in some "Sesame Street" special.

His phone being cordless allowed him to multitask and fix breakfast during the call. Harvey took a large bite of the toast he had just buttered, and proceeded to mumble with his mouth full. "Donna didn't come over last night, and it was the first time that happened since…"

Harvey had trouble describing the last part. Since they became official? Since they got serious or gave themselves a label? Since the moment he realized that he didn't want to ever spend another night without her?

"Has it even been a week since I told you not to screw it up with that girl?" Gordon sighed with his question. Harvey had only just introduced them, but one meeting was enough to know that Donna was good for his son, and he had advised him not to blow it.

Gordon thought the world of Harvey, but his ability to pick up a young lady was far more practiced than his ability to keep one.

"Gee Dad, that's helpful," Harvey responded sarcastically, rolling his eyes even though his father couldn't see him.

"Son, whatever it is you did, you can fix it. An apology goes a long way, you know," Gordon said gently, trying to convey his understanding and not risk making Harvey react defensively. He always received things better when he wasn't gearing up for battle.

"I know," Harvey replied, half in truth. He didn't have a ton of experience saying sorry. "But what if she doesn't want to hear it?"

"Then you do it again when she's ready. You have to treat relationships like you do the rest of your life. Setbacks don't mean stop trying."

Present Day

Setbacks don't mean stop trying.

His dad's words reverberated through his mind. At work, he had never let himself back down, setbacks never fazed him. There was always a way out, 146 different options even. He couldn't let himself back down with Donna.

Missing her graduation was a huge mistake, but he didn't have to keep digging himself deeper. If she was mad at him, he was going to kiss her until she wasn't. If she was sad, he was going to apologize while wrapping her up in his arms and holding her until she accepted. If it was the trust, if that was gone, he was going to keep following through until she could believe it.

It was time to make it right with her, and he vowed that he would do so. The first step was getting up off Alex's couch and making it home to his apartment.

…..

As if it were a case of divine intervention, the roads cleared up for the trip back to his apartment. She made great time, she thought, though the drive was a bit of a blur with all the thoughts racing through her mind.

Scottie's door had practically just closed behind her when she checked her cell and noticed that she had missed a text from Harvey. Her phone was still on vibrate from the ceremony, an oversight on her part, and she had moved it to her purse from her pocket, and hadn't felt or heard it.

I'm sorry. Can we talk?

The text had read, before a second one confirmed he was back home, though he had offered to meet her anywhere.

Talking was exactly what they needed. Not doing so enough had been the story of their relationship so far, specifically the screwups.

Had they talked more in his apartment, they could have avoided their first breakup. If she had told him when she first found out she was pregnant, she might not have had to watch him be with Scottie. The jealousy with Thomas. Scottie again. Mark. None of it had to happen.

She wasn't going to jump to conclusions anymore, and she wasn't going to bite her tongue or hide behind fear any longer. Though knowing what she wanted didn't make it any less scary.

Her fist was suspended in the air as she shuffled her feet outside his apartment door, waiting to rap on it, while she worked through the last bit of hesitancy. She could have opted to use her key, but he had no idea she was in New York, and she didn't want to alarm him completely.

She finally summoned the courage, and it felt like the universe shifted into slow-motion as the door was pulled open. Harvey appeared, and his face was transfixed with his shock to see her. There was also an unfiltered sense of awe, that she couldn't miss.

Seeing the way he looked at her, she had never felt more beautiful.

"Donna," he started, still stunned. "How are you here right now?" She was the last person he was expecting.

His mind had already been made up; he wasn't going to wait any longer. He was going to see her today, but he thought that meant driving to her. It wasn't going to be like what he envisioned days ago, the car, the dinner, flowers and romantic gestures. It would just be him, terrified, but ready to give her everything.

Here she was, however. It gave him every last bit of hope he needed.

"You weren't, Harvey. You weren't there," she told him softly, answering his question. An hour ago, there would have been hurt laced with her words, but now, she was full of want and longing.

"Donn–" he tried to apologize, but she held a finger to his mouth, stopping him from continuing.

She had come there with the sole intent of spilling everything she had kept bottled up. They had to hash everything out, so that there was no more misinformation, so they could move forward together.

With the way he was looking at her, however, and the way he was looking – so strong and devasting, yet so raw and open to her, like his layers had been stripped bare – she decided it wasn't the time for talking.

He saw it too, he must have, the hunger in her eyes. There was a slight tremor in his hand as he reached forward to feel her, to confirm his sanity, or maybe to prove that he wasn't dreaming. Her hands were as steady as a surgeon's, as she moved to cradle his face. There was a gentleness to it that didn't match her dizzying desperation.

The first was kiss hesitant, and the second was reassuring, by the time their lips met for a third, they had blown well past searing. They exploded into a frenzy of touches and need, their hands wild in their exploration.

He backed her against the door and hiked her leg around his waist before lifting her completely.

Thank god for dresses was her last thought, before her mind was consumed by Harvey.

She fumbled with his belt buckle as he grinded into her frantically. He licked and he sucked every inch of her exposed skin, her taste utterly intoxicating. The light scraping from his stubble sent chills down her spine. His teeth and his tongue were driving her mad, wreaking havoc on her system.

"Harvey," she cried out, frustrated that her dexterity was failing. Her desire was mounting, and her patience evaporating. She was on the edge of resorting to drastic measures.

"Fuck, Donna," he grunted out. "I don't deserve you." He stiffened with the sobering dose of reality.

He had done everything wrong, but she came to him. She didn't give up on him, and maybe that meant she never would. He could love her freely, without spending every second afraid of discovering her breaking point, when she would leave him.

She didn't want to hear it. Not when it had meant him detaching his mouth from that spot that was electrifying her whole body.

"No talking. Just fuck me," she ordered, and finally worked him free, pushing his pants down below his hips, before ignoring her own demand. "You're mine, Harvey," she moaned out, full of certainty.

He lined himself up with her center, desperate and aching to be inside her again. It took every ounce of restraint he possessed to pause, as he stared into her eyes, gripping her tightly. "Always, baby," he promised, before sheathing himself in her.

…..

"That looks like it hurts," she whispered softly, lightly running her fingertip along the same lips that had just been worshipping her thoroughly. "What happened to your face anyway?"

After he had taken her against the wall, and then again in the bed she never planned to leave, things had slowed down enough for her to take in the extent of his injuries. They weren't too concerning, but she still dragged him into the bathroom to patch him up and make sure that there wouldn't be any infections.

Wearing just his boxers, he was perched on the edge of the bathtub while she stood between his legs, tending to him. She had thrown on one of his Harvard shirts, and had made him promise never to disclose it. Thankfully, she had an oversized Yale version that she would get him in at some point.

"I would say you should see the other guy, but I honestly can't remember. I think there might have been three of them though, in case you were questioning my boxing," he joked and made sure to flex his muscles for show.

"You know, I never have seen you box. I might need a demonstration," she lowered her voice and said it seductively.

He was deflecting, but she let him for now. She knew he wasn't hiding anything, and that he would circle back eventually.

Her hair was tied up haphazardly, a messy bun meant to keep it from sticking to the back of her neck after their vigorous activities. A few loose strands slipped out as she leaned over him to bring her lips closer to his ear and cop a handful of biceps.

"Anytime, Miss Paulsen, you just say the word," he said, matching the mood she was setting. After darting his tongue across his tender lips in anticipation, he transitioned to a half smirk and a wink.

She grinned in return and wore it for a minute. Her spirits had lifted to the point they were soaring, but they still hadn't done the talking part yet. Before she let either of them drag the other back into the bedroom, or perhaps the very convenient shower, they needed to get that out of the way.

The bathroom smelled like antiseptic and the scotch still billowing from his pores, but it would do. It was little a cramped, and could definitely use some updating, but it was the room in which they would finally come clean. She supposed that made it fitting.

"I was just leaving Scottie's when you texted me." She had decided on the rip the band-aid off approach.

That caught his attention. He jolted up, his spine as straight as an iron rod, and grimaced as the movement caused her to press the hydrogen peroxide covered cloth more firmly against the cut above his eyebrow.

"Okay, even I can't come up with an explanation for that one. Tell me why?" he gently requested, meeting her eyes to convey his patience.

It might normally have been more of a demand from him, she could see he was really trying.

"I thought I might find you there," she told him, and felt more idiotic each time she voiced it.

In her head, she had made a list of reasons for why he would have gotten back together with Scottie, but it had all been her insecurities speaking. Losing him before had blinded her and had muted her unique abilities.

"Donna," he started, his eyes searching. The way said her name was like a window into his mind.

She could see the questions, but also the plethora of emotions that had been brewing all this time. The need to understand, to have all the answers, was tethered to his personality, but there was an added desperation.

There was also a flash of hurt that crossed his face before he masked it. "Why would you think I'd be at Scottie's?"

Before she responded, she bent a little more and buried her face in his chest. Looking back at it now, she didn't just feel stupid, she was ashamed she had jumped to such a conclusion, and ashamed she had jumped into another man's bed because of it.

The guilt struck her, but not because she felt like she betrayed Harvey. That wasn't something she would ever do, nor would she ever want to. The guilt was from the returning realization of how so much of this was unnecessary. It was just another reminder that all the painful nights and thoughts could have been avoided. All they had to do was open their mouths instead of hiding.

"That night I came over to surprise you with Addy, I saw her leaving your place. I thought…well I assumed you had gotten back together."

His hand on her hip tensed briefly. "Is that why you went to Mark?" he asked, gritting out the question.

He understood it more now, and he still wasn't judging. Those feelings had already been worked through, as much as he could anyway. The image it all conjured, however, was one he would rather do without.

She nodded in response, chewing on her bottom lip. It was like she was subconsciously holding in the wrong words until she found the right ones. "Well, sort of anyway," she answered eventually.

Rubbing a light circle on her back, he held her gaze while he waited for her to continue.

"When I dropped off Addy and left, I was just planning on meeting up with Steph and Peggy. I told them about what I thought I saw with Scottie, and then there was a little nudging and a lot of drinking. That night… I guess I was trying to move on because you did."

The way her shoulders slumped, how her head still hung, he couldn't stand it. He should have told her during Christmas break that he didn't want to go back to how things were, and that he never should have ended things in the first place.

He moved her back slightly, and he caught her unfiltered look of panic. She must have thought he was pushing her away, but he just needed the space to stand up.

"You thought I did, but that's not happening," he stated with an intensity that left no room for doubt before he pulled her in for a bruising kiss.

It struck him, when he reluctantly released her, that he hadn't checked with her about Mark. She showed up here for him, and that likely was his answer. It was over with him regardless, he was sure, but it would sit a little better with him to not be anything like Bobby. Either way, he knew Donna wasn't his mother.

"You're not still seeing him, are you?" he asked, just to be certain. They weren't going to assume things anymore.

"God no," she said, shaking her head almost violently. "Perfectly nice guy, but honey, I regretted it immediately," she continued, fixing her eyes on him without blinking.

The slight nod of her head that followed was as if she was putting it all to rest. All that mattered anymore was her and Harvey, and of course their daughter, but Addy's place was never in question.

"Good," he declared, and punctuated it with another kiss. "Because I regret ever letting you go and I'm never doing that again."

"Harvey, I had already decided that before I came through your door," she teased, losing some of her sassy tone as she mumbled it into his mouth. She might have said it playfully, but she had never been more determined.

"How did I get so lucky?" His voice was breathy as gripped her hips more firmly and let his forehead rest against hers.

God did he ever mean that. She was beautiful in a way that made his soul hurt, but she was also the most gifted and brilliant woman he'd ever met. By some cosmic fate, she was the one who could, and wanted to, wrangle him, and keep his path straight. Most importantly, Donna had given him his perfect daughter, his little girl who had taught him what it meant to have a purpose.

"According to you, you make your own luck," she said, poking fun at his usual brand of cockiness.

At some point later, she would make sure that he knew that she considered herself just as lucky. He chose her, and as high of a regard as she held herself in, it still felt surreal that this was happening again, that she was the one who got to keep him.

"Not this time," he stated, shaking his head. If anyone deserved the credit, it was her. She showed up even after he didn't. "Donna, I am sorry I wasn't at your graduation," he grinded out, ashamed.

"I forgive you. But, why weren't you? I thought… that maybe…"

With everything that had happened since he opened the door, she had almost forgotten what today was. It didn't even feel like the same day anymore, it had been such a long one. She had been up at the crack of dawn, making sure she looked flawless for the pictures, and if she was honest, for what she had hoped for with Harvey.

It was milestone graduation for Yale, the 300th commencement. The whole affair was bigger than it usually was, but it also started early. She was grateful for that because it gave her time to drive to Harvey.

"That I would come sweep you off your feet?" he finished for her, and she nodded her response, blushing. "I was going to, and I wanted to be there. I'm so fucking proud of you, but then Marcus told me Lily was getting remarried and–"

"You didn't trust yourself around other people," she completed for him this time, running her fingers through his hair, his head bowed. That explained it all, his absence and the scrapes and the bruising.

He nodded his confirmation dejectedly. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I am sorry I didn't come to you about it."

"Wow, three apologies in under 30 seconds. That must be a record," she joked, wanting to let him off the hook by lightening the mood. She would have loved to have him there, but she had him now, and that was plenty good enough for her.

Remaining serious, he didn't return her grin. "Move in with me."

He wasn't sure what chased the thought into his mind in the moment, but it was far from the only time he had it. There was no point, to him, in waiting longer to mention it or to make it happen.

"Okay, let's do it." She didn't need any time to consider it or think. It was what she wanted from the second he was back in her life, and definitely what she thought was best for their daughter, Addy would never get enough of her daddy.

"Yeah?" he questioned, almost nervously.

Harvey was smiling now, and quite brightly. He was also already planning. Picking up their baby girl, convincing Donna to follow him to the DA's office, his list was growing.

"Yes," she confirmed with a nod, feeling giddy. There was also a sense of relief. They were finally here, it had been a long time coming.

"I'm not spending another night without you," he warned, still beaming. "Let's go get our girl in the morning. I'll call in sick or whatever. Stay with me, and we can go back and pack up your stuff this weekend."

There was more to figure out, and they would, together.

November 8, 2001 – Present Day

"Is that–" Donna started to ask as soon as her eyes found Harvey standing at the stove in their kitchen.

She couldn't help but smile as she set her bags down and slipped off her shoes while gazing at her favorite people. With one arm, he was holding Addy against his hip while stirring a pot of mac and cheese – the makeshift homemade type, not the Kraft, or other boxed, powdered cheese kind – meant just for their daughter. They always ordered or prepared a little of what they were eating for her as well, but she was more prone to trying new things if they paired it with something of her choosing.

It wasn't the image in front of her that inspired the question she didn't finish; it was the familiar scent of spices that had wafted her way the second she opened the door to their apartment. Addy requested her favorite meal frequently enough that the smell of melting cheese didn't distract from the comforting aroma of the takeout. She was suddenly reminded that her stomach had been rumbling for the last few hours.

"The shi…um, the Thai place you for some reason love?" Harvey supplied for her as she approached. He turned slightly to pass off his now squirming daughter, who was overcome with delight to see her mother arrive. "I could tell you were having a bit of a rough day."

After placing several exaggerated and loud kisses all over Addy's giggling face, Donna made sure to include a lingering, but kid friendly, version for her man as well, before commenting.

"Who knew you were so observant," she teased, though she didn't ignore the way her heart fluttered in response to his thoughtfulness.

They had followed his plan, and had moved her and Addy in, that first weekend. They haven't spent a night apart since. The space was smaller than ideal, but they decided to stay put at least until Harvey went back to the firm. It helped that a single, a few floors below them, had opened up, and they were able to jump on it for Clara.

She did so much for them, watching Addy every workday, covering for emergencies. Donna had insisted on having a fully vetted contingency plan for when her mother needed a break or a well-deserved vacation, but they still relied on her greatly. The least they could do was pay for her housing.

They had to be economical with their choices, being a prosecutor wasn't exactly high paying. Even though she had mentioned working with him at the firm, at Gordon Schmidt Van Dyke, she hadn't been sure she would join him at the DA's office beforehand. He begged a little, and she gave in, with the promise he wouldn't ask for any special favors.

She enjoyed spending the day with him at the office and loved coming home to or with him even more. He had been a great boyfriend their first go around, but they were younger, and not yet parents. Since then, he had only grown, they both had, and his attentiveness and their communication were areas that were improving.

With the job so far, they had worked out a pretty good system. They couldn't totally avoid late nights or unexpected fires to put out, but they weren't burning the midnight oil at the office too often. They helped each other with cases when they could, and tried to finish any after-hour work at home when possible. Not only did they not want to overburden Clara, who still had bookkeeping of her own to do part time, but they didn't want to be parents who were never around.

"Your mom said Addy was an angel today, so I figured we can finish Beauty and the Beast while we eat. The food should still be warm if you want to bring it over to the coffee table and grab her tray," he suggested.

Most nights, they didn't eat in front of the TV as they still tried to be mindful of Addy's screentime. Since Donna was home later than she typically was, meaning dinner was as well, he decided they could make an exception. Clara really had complimented her behavior too, though she rarely said otherwise. When she did, it usually involved Addy not feeling well, or missing her parents a little extra.

Addy was babbling about her day as Donna set everything up. It took her twice the effort since she only afforded herself one arm, not yet ready to set her daughter down. She was becoming more and more independent already, and Donna wasn't going to sacrifice any time that her princess was willing to be carried. She was usually so eager to buzz around on her feet.

When Harvey joined them on couch, Addy was engrossed enough in the movie that they could talk without having to childproof the conversation.

"Sooo, what had you on the verge of chewing out that lawyer who smells way too strongly of Aqua Velva earlier today?" he prompted, reaching behind Addy to tuck some loose strands of hair behind Donna's ear.

"You noticed that?" Donna asked in surprise, crinkling her nose. Jake had totally deserved any attitude she flipped his way, but she thought she had held it in.

After she was met with Harvey's pointed look, she kept talking. "It's just this case that I am on. The officer involved shooting. I heard Cameron being super shady about it on freaking speaker phone the other day, and I just really want to stick it to him."

She didn't tell Harvey about what she overheard when it happened. It wasn't that she was trying to keep it from him per se, it was more about not wanting to complain so early into her tenure.

With adversity in the past, especially in the workplace, she'd always felt determined to handle it on her own. With this, she thought the best way to address it was simply to win. The odds were against her with these charges, and it only worked against her even more to call additional attention to it at the office.

Since he had asked, she would at least tell him about the situation, though maybe not the exact words she had heard that were still in the forefront of her mind.

"You know that cop shooting in East Harlem?" Cameron asked someone, as she was walking by his office.

Immediately, she recognized it as her case. There hadn't been a rash of police shootings or anything, so it wasn't hard to make the connection. Wanting to see where it was going, she used the desk outside his office to pretend to go through some files while she eavesdropped.

"The one where that black kid got smoked? How could I not? It's been all over the news," a man whose voice she didn't recognize responded.

Cameron was speaking with a volume that meant he hadn't resisted a morning scotch or two, which made it easy to make out everything he was saying, but she had to strain to hear the other voice. He was at least on speakerphone, since Cameron was busy putting as he often was.

"I have both the mayor and the police commissioner riding my ass about supporting the boys in blue, while I have angry dumb fucks in the community screaming about excessive force and minority this and that."

Nothing she was hearing had surprised her so far. The shooting had occurred almost a month ago and still was making headlines. She was still playing catchup up though; she wasn't the first ADA it was assigned to.

"The climate has been trending that way, man. You got urbans and broads crying about equal pay and affirmative action. What can you even do about it?" she heard the voice ask rhetorically, then genuinely. "What are you going to do though, with this? Gotta keep the voters happy for reelection, but you don't want to piss off the cops."

"I'll tell you what I already did. I assigned the case to my most senior attorney for show, then told him to go visit his 'sick mom' after a couple of weeks and then passed the case to the new girl, once everyone else was too swamped."

Her blood started to boil at that. It had just been a move by him to dump the case on her. She had foolishly believed it was a show of faith, that he trusted she could step in and handle a case this big, despite coming in late.

Bertha was heading over, and she silently cursed her luck. It was Bertha's desk she was using, so it was inevitable that she would migrate back, but the timing could have been better. If she started chatting her up, she wouldn't be able to hear the rest of the phone call. Thankfully, another secretary delayed her progress, allowing her to keep listening.

"You didn't," the voice responded with a hearty chortle.

"Regardless of the outcome, the cops will know I threw them a bone with an inexperienced chick 'attorney'. With it being nearly impossible to indict a cop, she'll probably fail anyway, and I'll have no problem hanging her out to dry. Your average voter doesn't know how hard it is, so they'll either accept the evidence isn't there or it'll be a nice little reminder about giving men's work to women."

She had walked away then, before so could no longer control her reaction. Her first impression wasn't great, but she wasn't the first person to dislike her boss. As she got to know him, she realized that his level of conniving was even worse than she first thought.

"Shady how?" Harvey asked softly, after giving her a minute.

He had seen the wheels spinning and figured she was still finding her words. While she was lost in thought, he tended to their daughter, who had finished eating.

Addy was still getting used to him being around full time, so she often was a little extra clingy with him. As soon as he had moved the tray, however, she had climbed into her mother's lap. He wondered if she could sense Donna's tough day as well.

"Well, for starters, giving me the case wasn't actually a vote of confidence," she admitted, noticing the sting hadn't worn off.

When Cameron had informed her of the new assignment, she had been so proud to be tapped on the shoulder, to be the next man up when Terry had to suddenly go out of town. He was a few years from retirement and had been working cases like that for longer than she had been alive. Stepping in for him was supposed to mean that Cameron saw something in her, the way it did every time he handed a big one to Harvey.

"It's so politically charged," she added, "and if I fail to get an indictment, he doesn't mind making me the fall guy. He pretty much said it's because I am a woman," she finished, frustrated.

It wasn't that Harvey had an easy time of things. He was already an incredible lawyer, and while some of it was natural ability, he still worked hard for it. Harder than a lot of other people at the office gave him credit for. At least the envious ones, who longed for his level of recognition.

To her, no one rivaled Harvey's skill in their profession. Watching him navigate the law and crush anyone who stepped up against him was one of the sexiest things she'd ever seen. She loved having a front row seat, but she wished the atmosphere wasn't so sexist. Envy related resentment wasn't something she had to face like he did, but outdated attitudes towards women in the workplace were, and it was quite the burden.

"Good thing you never fail," he said supportively and stroked her cheek. "I'm sorry you have to deal with that bullshit, though."

He watched her mouth "language" at him after the slip. There would probably be a swear jar by the end of the year, although she was only slightly better at catching herself than he was.

When she brought up Cameron Dennis, his kneejerk reaction was to defend the man who had been teaching him so much about the law. Before he rolled out a string of excuses, he remembered some of the chats they had previously, and was glad he kept listening to her instead.

"You're right about the first part," she said, twisting her lips into a half smirk before sobering a little. "But in this case, I am not so sure a guilty verdict makes the boss happy either. The police union endorsed him the last election."

"I could take the case of your hands, if you want. We could come up with a reason," he offered, reaching for her hand.

It wasn't a reflection of his confidence in her. There wasn't anyone he believed in more to find a fix, he just didn't think she should have to.

Cameron had definitely made some questionable comments regarding women before, and they were coming back to him in full force. Even with hiring Donna, Harvey had expected it to be a no brainer, but there was more pushback than a Yale Law School graduate should receive.

"Harvey, how is going to look if I hire your little girlfriend?" his boss asked, sighing dramatically as he tossed her resume back down on the desk in front of him.

"Like you know talent when you see it?" Harvey fired back, wearing an incredulous look. Their relationship status had nothing to do with her ability. If Cameron interviewed her, he would see that.

"Or that I play favorites. Which, people already complain about when you stroll in late, but at least you're winning cases they can't. I get you want to play footsie with your girl all day–"

"Boss–" Harvey interrupted, ready to defend himself.

The rules didn't always apply to the stars the same way they did for the last man off the bench. No one would have complained if Barry Bonds showed up to batting practice late en route to breaking the single season homerun record. Harvey believed that no one should complain about him when all he did was get convictions. He was batting a thousand.

"No, I get it. I've seen her picture, you've got yourself a good-looking woman," Cameron cut in, returning the favor. He showed him his palms acquiescingly and nodded his head in approval.

Harvey was confused. It felt like his boss was giving him more credit for having a hot girlfriend than he would afford her for graduating summa cum laude. He had barely even glanced at her resume. It didn't sit right with him.

"But that doesn't mean she can hang with drug dealers and murderers," Cameron continued, still showing his true colors. "We're putting bad men behind bars, not deciding who gets the house or the kids or whatever," Cameron added, gesturing dismissively and clearly suggesting that women should stick to certain divisions of the law.

"Don't let her exterior fool you. She's a fucking assassin," Harvey had insisted, with a bit of a warning tone. "I would say she'll fit right in, but I'm not sure most people here can keep up with her."

It was a weak man that couldn't handle a strong woman, and if Cameron Dennis was one of those, Harvey wasn't going to let it cost Donna a job by his side.

Thankfully, the man had relented. Harvey didn't want to imagine Donna working somewhere without him. He was also grateful that he bit his tongue before he was reflexively unsupportive. She was right about the inequity involving women, and that was a problem.

Harvey wasn't feeling holier-than- thou from reaching that conclusion. He never used gender to measure a person's capabilities, but if Judy from HR was complaining about the same things that Donna was, he couldn't guarantee he would have listened.

Of course he would for Donna. What she told him today, it made him want to march right to his office and set him straight, but he was learning. It was not how Donna wanted him to handle things.

"Harvey, I know you want to protect me," she said, responding to his offer while stroking the back of the hand that gripped hers, with her thumb. "And I love that about you, but all that would do is make it look like I couldn't hack it. For some lower-level crime, we might get away with swapping. This would just make me look like shi– crap."

"You're right, it has to stay yours. But that doesn't mean I can't still help."

They worked so well together, and they had started doing so almost immediately after her hiring. No one would think twice about them pairing up for another case, and he could make sure it was clear that she was still the lead.

"Well, I did help you with that guy who did all those B and E's, so I guess it's only fair," she responded with a relieved and grateful smile.

As self-reliant as she was, she couldn't deny that she had grown quite fond of teaming up with Harvey. His limitless tenacity and creativity mixed well with her sense of ethics and integrity, as well as her eye for the smallest details and inconsistencies in police interviews or testimony.

She gave his hand a squeeze, signaling to him that he had given her the comfort that she had needed. They could move on from talking shop now, and enjoy the rest of their evening.

Addy was starting to nod off as it approached the time she normally went to sleep. Noticing the droopiness in his daughter's eyes, Harvey lowered his head so that his lips where ghosting Donna's ear. With an enticing huskiness, he whispered into it, "Once Addy goes to bed, I was hoping–"

"You have such a one-track mind," Donna chuckled, cutting him off with a knowing smile and a slight shake of her head.

Despite her amused reaction, she felt her body start to hum with excitement for where she thought this was going. Ensuring that he didn't mistake her teasing for disinterest, she gave his thigh a pat before trailing her touch higher, just an inch or so away from the point of no return. The little girl snuggled into her lap was a good deterrent.

"I was hoping we could watch Survivor," Harvey continued as if he was uninterrupted, though there was less seduction in his voice the second go around.

"Survivor? That 'tribe has spoken' show?" she questioned, slightly squinting her eyes while replaying a preview she had seen in her mind. "You watch that?"

"It's an underrated show and the third season just started last month. If your mind is in the gutter, however, you're more than welcome to ride me while we watch," he said, lowering his voice again, not wanting to attract nosey ears or any questions he wasn't prepared to answer. It was convenient that those ears had a bedtime that just happened to coincide with the start of his new favorite show.

The look she gave him in return was so full of promise that he preictally leapt off the couch with Addy in his arms, headed straight to the bathroom to brush her teeth, before tucking her in to sleep.

December 4, 2001 – Present Day

After her third yawn in about as many minutes, Donna relented. She didn't want to give in, 3pm was her self-imposed cutoff for drinks with more caffeine than mint tea, but she had too much work to get through to be dragging this hard.

The sound of cracking knuckles always had annoyed her, but she couldn't resist releasing the pressure from spending so many consecutive hours typing. It was one of those days where she didn't have any meetings or court dates, just a full shift of sitting on her ass in the tiny office that she had inherited by default.

There were more ADAs than offices, and some were stuck sharing larger ones, or even in cubicles that were meant for support staff. When a disgruntled old timer left to switch sides and become a defense attorney, his space became available.

There were water stains on the ceiling from a recently fixed leaking pipe and a smell that had lingered from the former occupant, who was not known for his personal hygiene. With a batch of retirements expected, all the prosecutors without an office and with more years on the job than Donna, had opted to wait for better ones to become available.

It probably didn't hurt that Harvey had spent a few days glaring intimidatingly at the few who considered claiming it. Donna had some choice words for him when she figured it out, but he did make a solid argument when he pointed out that he had gotten an office from day one, and that if the higher-ups based decisions on merit instead of seniority, she would have an even bigger one.

The smaller sized room worked for her, however, and it was directly next to Harvey's. She was able to get rid of the odor quickly, so to her, it worked out quite nicely, even if she would have preferred to not know about his minor interference.

Using her desk to propel her wheeled office chair back, she rose stiffly after a series of neck rolls. She strolled out of her office on a mission to pour that steaming cup of coffee and power through the rest of the day.

With Harvey being her office neighbor, she didn't have to pass his on the way to the break room, but she didn't not have to pass it either. She liked to glance in at him from time to time, as she found his concentration face endearing.

The man was dripping with masculinity, and the way he wore a suit should be illegal. She was the one who got to take it off him every night, so she knew full well just how arresting he could be. When he was chewing on the capped end of his pen, however, his eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, he had this boyish charm to him. She couldn't resist peeping.

She turned the corner to the break room with a little extra bounce to her step, but stopped in her tracks when she overheard his name. She was protective, and needed to know if this was a situation in which she needed to be.

"Did you hear? Harvey pulled off another huge win. That police shooting case," a nasally voice mentioned.

It took Donna a second, due to limited interaction, but she placed it as Malik's secretary's. Janice was referring to the case she had just won, and while Harvey was an asset, she had been the driving force.

She was gearing up now for how they would bring her name into the conversation.

"I heard that Donna gave him the idea for it," another voice responded, and Donna thought it also belonged to a secretary, Phillip. He was a decent guy, and at least he was giving her credit. Even though it was in a way that suggested that Harvey was above her.

"Oh please, I doubt that. Harvey is already like the golden boy attorney. She's just the new hire who gets to fuck him."

The reply came from a third person, who Donna couldn't recognize, at least without a face to match to it. She debated breezing in there, head held up high, letting them know that she heard what they were saying but that it didn't affect her. It did though, it bothered her. She hated being the center of gossip, especially when it was inaccurate and demeaning.

"Didn't she go to Yale?" Phillip asked, and he was quickly earning more points in her book. He might have failed to see that she was the first chair, but he at least seemed to be unwilling to reduce her to who she slept with.

"Yeah and?" Janice followed, her voice full of petty disgust. Donna could imagine the eyeroll that was included.

She was pretty sure that Malik had it out for her. It made her wonder if he had influenced his secretary's opinion, or if she was just jealous. That was one thing about dating Harvey. Donna never had to worry about him stepping out on her, but there was no shortage of women willing to try to tempt him.

"That's an Ivy League school. Don't you think that makes her qualified to be here?" Phillip countered, and Donna decided she would have to buy him a drink at some point.

"Come on, we've all seen women like her before. She's fucking the best attorney here, and he's the one who wanted her to get hired. Do you think it's the first time she's spread her legs for a job? Do you really think a dean of admissions is beneath her?" the unidentified voice said, jumping back in.

If someone else passed by, it would be obvious that Donna was standing there listening. Last time she was snooping, she had made an effort to look busy, but there wasn't a convenient copier or excuse where she currently was lurking.

The recall of her boss's words, and the fact that she was even bothering to assess her options, suddenly made her realize how aggravating it was that this was a recurring situation. This was also just the next time she caught people talking about her and the case. It was likely that there were more conversations that she didn't stumble upon. The thought made her simultaneously insecure and pissed the hell off.

"Well, he may have been on top of her instead," Janice said, her tone matching the insinuation.

"Oh, you're bad girl, but she did have a kid pretty young, so it's not exactly a leap." The third voice spoke again.

"Young and not married."

Her desire to hear more of what they were saying vanished along with her desire for more coffee. Even though this wasn't her first dance with being on the receiving end of gossip related to a workplace relationship, she didn't feel any more prepared to stomach it.

This was why she told Harvey about her other rule in the first place. She had made an exception for them, because she wanted to work with him, and she thought it might go better this time.

There weren't the concerns about a breakup making things uncomfortable, that wasn't happening again with the two of them. They were also not just dating, they were a family, so she didn't think the false narrative that people created would be so condescending. She didn't expect it to include the tired stereotype of women using sex to get ahead, for example.

A law degree, an Ivy League JD, it was supposed to mean something. She graduated with top honors, and she'd been winning ever since, but still all they saw was the woman who was screwing Harvey.

She retreated towards her office, and was so lost inside her head, that she didn't notice Harvey until she was barreling into him.

"Whoa there," he muttered in surprise while he latched onto her hips to steady her. "I was looking for you, Donna," he said before lowering his voice flirtatiously and pulling her a little closer. "I guess I found you."

She moved back from him, and it was subtle enough that no one could have noticed, but he felt it. Harvey looked at her curiously but continued talking. "I wanted to run an idea I had by you. It's from a movie, but hear me out–"

"Harvey, can we talk about this later," she said distractedly, brushing past him to get back to her mountain of files and her computer. The blinds covering the glass walls and windows were already closed, thankfully. She didn't need anyone stirring up more rumors if he followed her in.

If he had any doubt before, now he was certain something was going on with her. Closing the door behind him, he went in and perched himself on the corner of her desk.

"Hey, what's going on?" he inquired, leaning in closer.

"I've always had a rule against this, getting involved with people I work with. But we got together first, before I took a job here, so I thought… I knew breaking it wasn't going to be all sunshine and rainbows, but…" she rambled, and trailed off again.

It had been in response to Harvey's question, but her eyes were focused behind him in a way that she was more thinking out loud than directly speaking to him.

"Babe, did something happen?" He rubbed her hand just briefly, bringing her attention to him.

"I should have known this would happen, but of course I tried to pretend it wouldn't. If only one of us is going to matter here, then what the hell are we even doing?" she spit out, deflecting his question.

It was too fresh, and she hadn't processed her feelings enough to want to rehash it. What she did know was that she was insulted, but she also felt embarrassed. There was a part of her that was upset with herself for not expecting the chatter, and for not anticipating that an office headed by Cameron Dennis would have additional problems.

"Donna, are you saying you want to end this?"

He paled immediately at the thought, his body going rigid. They had a daughter together, and raising her under the same roof was making everything better. It provided a connection that wasn't easily severed.

His first thought probably should have been that one of them might need to look for a new job if it was bothering her that much, but his deep-seated fear that she would leave him rose to the surface faster.

"No," she started to say, but realized it was dismissive. "Harvey, no," she said more firmly, looking him in the eye to grant reassurance. "But it's true that only one of us gets any respect around here. I might as well be your assistant," she snapped, reverting to her frustration.

Their work situation had been what she was referring to, but she recognized that he thought she meant their relationship. She was taking her mood out on him, and she didn't want to, but it was like her worst insecurity and her biggest soap box issue were being combined behind her back and at her expense.

First it was her boss, now it was her coworkers. She was a confident woman, but there were things that could still get to her. Confidence could only go so far, and the disrespect was ridiculous. It had been her case, her risk, and her ideas. Harvey had helped, and he was brilliant in his own right, but this was her win and for the type of charge that rarely yielded one.

"Hey-" he tried to ease into, wanting to comfort her while having a million questions.

"It's fine, Harvey. We can talk about it later," she said, cutting him off and effectively ending the conversation.

Harvey wanted to stay but didn't protest. He gave her a nod and one last look before he gave her some space. It was easier to do when he knew they were going home and to bed together that same night.

December 19, 2001 – Present Day

"You really couldn't just suck it up and finish the drink our fellow ADAs bought you?" she teased as they walked from the bar to their booth in the corner, abandoning the group.

They didn't get out enough, just the two of them, mainly because they spent their free time with their daughter. Clara had plans herself this evening, so they had reached out to one of their emergency babysitters to make it possible. Donna had a tough time trusting new people, and Harvey even tougher, but they had done their research, and it was Patricia's third time watching Addy.

"Donna, I don't celebrate much, and when I do, it's going to be with Macallan. Not that shitty rum and Coke that was giving new meaning to bottom shelf."

He had only bothered taking a sip when they toasted him for winning his first trial and left the drink at the bar when he ordered a new one. Harvey was feeling pretty good about getting his name in the papers, he wasn't going to settle.

"Have you forgotten just how long I've known you, Harvey? Or how broke we were when we first met? I've seen you knock back PBRs and vodka that doubles as rubbing alcohol, Mr. Big Shot," she jabbed again.

There was truth behind it, too. When he was in the mailroom and she was a starving actress, neither had the budget to blow money on booze with a real label.

"Those days are well behind us, baby. It's the high life from here on out," he said after they had gotten comfortable in the booth, holding up his drink to acknowledge their developing success together. They had already come so far, personally, and professionally, and it was only just the beginning.

"You get the same paycheck that I do, mister. I know you only make fifty grand a year. That's more like Miller High Life," she followed, continuing to give him a hard time while cozying up to him more. She was in a flirty mood, and saw no reason for that not to include being touchy.

"Just wait until Gordon Schmidt and Van Dyke. I'll have my girl bathing in Dom Perignon," he said, waiving one hand like it was written in the stars, though he was mostly being facetious. He slung his other arm around her shoulders.

She rolled her eyes at him and scrunched up her nose at the sticky image. Before she threw a sarcastic retort his way, she decided to confide in him about what had been bothering her at work. It had been a random flash in her mind, but he had been so great being patient that she'd figured she shouldn't keep pushing it off for later.

"Do you remember a couple weeks ago, when I nearly bit your head off?" she asked, jumping right into it.

"Is that a trick question?" he responded warily, side eyeing her, but was still working his hand underneath her sweater. "Am I supposed to say of course not, honey, you would never?"

"Hey, I am owning it here, mister," she defended, nudging him. "Because people at our office don't know how to save it for after work of freaking whisper, I heard some lovely comments about how I spread my legs for the job and don't deserve any credit," she finished, her tone having turned more serious.

With how long it had been, she thought she was completely past it. Maybe it was the alcohol, she had taken down a few shots, but suddenly she was feeling emotional. Sighing, she rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment, hating that it still had power over her.

Harvey felt what it was doing to her and was working up to choosing the right words, but before he could, they were interrupted by a waiter delivering a Macallan 36. When he questioned it, the server pointed toward who ordered it.

"Not to judge a book by its cover, because I don't know who that is, but I don't like the way he is looking at you. Or the looks of him for that matter. I am telling you right now he is bad news," Donna observed, after her gaze landed on the sender. There was something about the older man staring them down that was more than off-putting. Her instincts hadn't let her down yet.

"I know who he is, and you're not wrong," Harvey told her distractedly, already making up his mind to go see what the billionaire wanted. It wasn't Charles Forstman's type of bar, which made him wonder if he was here for him. It also made him wonder how he knew where to find him.

"Of course I'm not, but the question is, what are you going to do about him?" she retorted, rebounding somewhat from her lowered spirits.

"First thing first, I need to figure out what his deal is, but we're finishing this conversation later. Nobody gets to say that shit about you, Donna," he stated, before leaving a kiss on her cheek and sliding out of the booth.

"I know who you are, and I'm not interested," Harvey stated, after walking up to the older gentlemen whose reputation preceded him.

As tempting as it was to accept the even more aged and expensive version of his favorite scotch, he made a point of setting it down on the table in front the gray-haired man in a tieless suit that still cost more than Harvey and Donna would make in a month combined.

"Just because I have a bad reputation?" Forstman asked while continuing to size up the young attorney. He wanted winners, but he also needed to know that they weren't afraid to hike up their pants and wade through the mud for him. "I would say that's your first mistake, pal, and I normally don't have time for those, but I'm feeling generous enough to let that go."

"And what exactly is inspiring your generosity?" Harvey asked, referring to his words and the drink. He was curious enough to take a seat and hear him out.

"You put away my enemy, and I like how you did it," he declared bluntly, while leaning back in his chair with a level of casualness that didn't reflect the inner workings of his hubristic and vindictive personality.

Forstman tilted his head and continued. "I also saw that I was interrupting something," he explained while flicking his wrist towards Donna with a pointed thumb and finger. "I am not a patient enough man to give a rat's ass typically, but like I said, I liked the way you handled business."

"You weren't interrupting, and she's not a part of this," Harvey followed stiffly, with more force than he had intended.

The mention of the case hadn't bothered him, but he didn't like that Forstman had noticed Donna. He couldn't quite put his finger on why, but the mention of her made him feel uneasy. It made him want to protect her, from what exactly, he wasn't sure.

"A touchy subject? I was young once and remember the allure of good pussy," he taunted lightly, recognizing the weak spot, and enjoying pressing on it. "Don't let it sidetrack you," he warned, holding his look. "Though I can see you have your hands full with that red headed number over there."

For a split second, Forstman's gaze returned to Donna only to see her locked-in, focusing on him. He had half a mind to offer her the same deal he intended for Harvey. She hadn't come up in his scouting, and he didn't even know her background, but there was something about her. He got the impression that she was a lawyer too, from the way she carried herself. It made sense why the man in front of him was so protective.

"My eyes are up here, Mr. Forstman," Harvey responded, using a quip to distract from Donna when he noticed the older man glancing at her again. He didn't like the idea that the notorious, billionaire, hedge fund owner had witnessed a vulnerable moment any more than he liked him mentioning it.

Forstman let out a short, dry laugh. "Don't worry, pal, I'm not eyeing your girl. I get it," he said shrugging and held up his palms. "And that's not why I summoned you over, anyway."

"Technically, you didn't summon me. I came to return the drink," Harvey retorted, annoyed still.

"I knew you would, just like I know you've got something special. I want people with something special working for me," he drawled, and gestured at Harvey.

"No offense, Mr. Forstman, but I'm still not interested," he stated, mixing reluctant respect with a forceful tonality. Sitting up straighter, he continued. "Here's the thing, and not that it is any of your business, but I am more than just the best god damn closer in the city. I'm also a father, and I don't do shady." He shook his head with the last part.

"Don't you even want to hear the terms? The signing bonus alone might keep you from making a second mistake," Forstman floated, while leaning forward and folding his hands together.

"I'm not in it for the money, Mr. Forstman. I am in it for my family, and I need to get back to them," Harvey finished before getting up to walk away.

January 5, 2002 – Present Day

Harvey didn't think that Marcus understood exactly how busy he was when he asked him to meet him for a beer in some hole in the wall restaurant in Boston. He agreed anyway, especially once Donna had insisted.

She had been on his case about making more time for his brother, and had pointed out that it was a large chunk of what their arguments always boiled down to. If he was a single man, he might have been less resistant, but he preferred to spend his time off with his woman and his daughter. Also visiting his father had been the final piece to sway him.

They joined him on the trip, his girls did, and they were already with Gordon. He would meet the three of them once he finished up with Marcus.

"Well, what do you think?" Marcus asked, after they had finished their obligatory small talk and ribbing.

"I think you made me drive all the way to Boston to meet you at this dump when I could have been spending the day with my family. So, why don't you tell me why we're here," Harvey responded, already a bit annoyed. He had to remind himself that it was nice to see his younger brother.

"You like to forget that we're family too, but that's beside the point. I want to open a restaurant here," Marcus followed, then processed that he probably shouldn't have included the remark about family.

"Marcus, there is already a restaurant here, and it isn't working. And you could have told me this over the phone. You know I already missed too much time with my daughter."

Harvey was used to his brother coming to him with bad ideas or half fleshed out ones. Marcus had at least shown an interest in the culinary world before, however. He wasn't a chef and would never be one, be he was a foodie and solid cook with ideas. The business classes he had taken helped to show that he was serious.

Even with that, though, restaurants frequently failed. It was reasonable to be concerned about him not succeeding, and the emotional fallout sending him back to gambling.

"I know you're trying to make things right with your kid, but I am trying to make things right too. I already have a liquor license, a chef, renovation plans, I have everything I need," he countered with urgency, needing Harvey to understand how passionate he was about it.

The space was perfect to him, and he didn't want to drag his feet and lose it. He also didn't want to have to go to Harvey, but there were only so many places a gambling addict with bad credit could turn.

"Except the money," Harvey said in realization.

It always came down to money with his brother. With his cancer, Harvey would never judge him for that. For anything health related, he'd always want to come through, though it was Donna who did that time. With his addiction, however, that was different. It made it difficult to want to consider providing the funds for his newest plan.

After Viktor had made his threats, and with his family present, it would always be a sensitive subject for Harvey, though it was more than that. Harvey understood the risk that large sums of money posed to relapsing.

Right now, he didn't have it anyway. Unless Marcus was going to ask him for a small amount, which he knew he wasn't, he couldn't afford to help him. He had a daughter to provide for, and he was splitting the cost of two apartments in one of the world's most expensive cities, with Donna. She made what he did, they were only government employees.

"I need $150,000," Marcus announced, with only the slightest hesitation.

It was even more ludicrous of an ask than Harvey had expected.

"Are you crazy? Do you know how much it costs to raise a kid? I don't have that kind of money."

Harvey wanted to lash out at him for the audacity, but contained himself after his initial reaction. He saw that Marcus was about to question him more, doubting his financial limitations, which would aggravate him further. Before he let his brother prod him again, he pictured Donna, and what she would tell him.

Since she had been on him about improving things with Marcus, he felt obligated to give his best effort. He focused on curtailing his more choice words, and going with something she might approve of.

"Look, Marcus, you're right. You are family too, and I don't always show it. This planning that you're doing, it's a good thing. But until I get into corporate law, I really don't have the money," he explained with more patience.

"Harvey, this is my dream," Marcus said with an air of pleading.

"And I want to help, but I can't yet. I am not letting my daughter starve so you can chase your dreams. In a few years, that's another story. I'm sure there will be another failing restaurant then too."

The way he delivered his words was with more care than he was accustomed to affording. He wanted Marcus to accept that as much as he wanted to see him pursue a goal that might help him stay focused and out of trouble. He simply couldn't just conjure that type of stack, however. It wasn't meant to be a rejection, just a dose of reality.

"I'm not asking you to let your daughter starve, but I am asking you to be my big brother. And the last time I asked you that, what did you do?" Marcus said with venom.

It clearly demonstrated to Harvey his brother's inability to handle not getting his way with something that he thought he was owed. It showed his sense of entitlement.

"The last time you asked me that, I helped you get out of your gambling debt," Harvey reminded, not pulling any punches with his tone. He took a sip of his beer just to keep him from adding something he would regret.

"And how do you think I got that debt in the first place? You know I can never get a loan now," he accused and begged for his understanding at the same time.

"Marcus, that was on you. When are you going to take responsibility for it?" Harvey was losing what little patience he had left.

"What the hell does it look like I am try–" he said, cutting himself off midsentence. Harvey had controlled his temper better than he normally did when their conversations started to go the way this one was. Marcus tried to return the favor. "Harvey, I know you have to think about your daughter. Donna too. I get it, believe me I do. And I want that too someday, you know. Things are going well with Katie. I want to do things right."

"I want that for you too, Marcus," Harvey told him softly. Everything from his tone to his facial expression showed how genuine of a statement it was.

"I don't doubt that, but this has to work, and it has to work now," Marcus insisted. He looked at his older brother and saw something behind eyes, something that he wasn't sharing. "What aren't you telling me, Harvey?"

"It's not important," he said, trying to deflect, but knowing he accidentally tipped his hand. This wasn't something that Marcus needed to know, but the look on his face had left an opening.

"If that were the case you would have just said it already," Marcus argued, not willing to let it go.

"I turned down a job offer. It would have been enough, but Charles Forstman is not the kind of man I want to work for," Harvey admitted, though his gut still told him it was better not to. He tapped his fingers impatiently as he waited for Marcus's reaction.

"You have a way to get the money, but you're not taking it," he recapped incredulously, shaking his head in disapproval. "I came to you first because I know you'd want me to, but if you don't come through, I'm going to go to Mom," he warned and glowered at his older brother.

"You don't understand, and you don't mean Mom. You mean him and–" Harvey forced out before being interrupted.

"They're married now, Harvey," Marcus exclaimed. "Their money is all the same, and it's not going to make the situation with dad any worse. Passing up this opportunity will for me though," he urged, willing him to understand. "And I'm not going to do that just because you have a problem with my source of funding. Come through or don't Harvey, but I am not waiting."

"You're making a mistake with this, Marcus," Harvey informed his brother who had already snatched up his proposal paperwork and started storming out.

"Go back to your family, Harvey, I'll worry about the one here," he muttered, after pausing briefly and turning towards him to deliver his parting words.

January 10, 2002 – Present Day

Archibald Elliott Stemple had never been confused with a forgiving man. Underhanded, conniving, entitled, slimy worm of a man, those were all words that had been thrown his way a time or two, but never anything that involved grace or kindness.

He kept a running log of grievances, as not to risk unwittingly relinquishing a grudge, and Harvey Reginald Specter's name was at the top, circled and in bold.

If the origin of most of the old money in America was traced, worldwide even, it would be hard to find a story that didn't include some sort of exploitation or manipulation. His family was the type that believed in pedigree and status, and had no qualms about taking advantage of those beneath en route to generational wealth and prestige.

A. Elliott didn't believe the tricks he pulled against Harvey or Dana in moot court showed anything but gumption or a strong desire to win. Rules were meant for the impoverished. Bending them shouldn't have mattered, and certainly not to that level. It wouldn't have either, if not for their cowardly snitching. The fact that it got him kicked out of law school was the sort of injustice that meant they would never leave his list.

His father had already thought that him becoming a lawyer was too blue collar, even though the label was far from accurate. He had expected his oldest son to own his own business, a fortune 500 company or global empire. Harvard Law was only acceptable if he used it to build something of his own. If he was going to use it to work at a firm or for someone else, it wasn't a worthwhile endeavor.

Getting tossed out without completing his degree was far worse, however. It brought shame and attention to the Stemple name for all the wrong reasons.

The embarrassment that it caused, and the growing rift with his father wasn't something he could forget. Even though he was able to pivot, to get into another school for business and accounting, payback was still a necessity in his book.

The universe must have agreed with him, because it dropped quite the gift in his lap.

He had never seen his face to recognize him before, but he knew the name from the tabs he kept on Harvey. He also knew that he was a degenerate gambler, who once got into a pretty deep hole with some dangerous people.

When Marcus Specter came into the Final District office, the receptionist had turned him away almost immediately. Only someone with no business being there would think he could walk in and see Charles Forstman without an appointment and having to climb several rungs of a ladder.

Thankfully, he had been in that day to overhear and step in.

"Mr. Specter, I'm afraid Mr. Forstman is unavailable, but perhaps you'd like to follow me to my office to discuss why you're here," A. Elliott cut in, attempting his best version of a welcoming smile. He wasn't entirely sure he pulled it off, smarmy had been used to describe prior attempts at sincerity.

Marcus was hot on his tail, however, and took a jittery seat once offered.

His nerves were palpable, and that fed into Stemple's devious excitement. The more Marcus cared about whatever he was there for, the more likely it was that he could find a way to use it against Harvey. His boss would appreciate it too, no one said no to Charles Forstman.

"I'm sure you're a busy man, so I'll get right to it. I know your boss offered my idiot brother a job and he turned it down, but I was hoping he wouldn't hold that against me."

Marcus was bluffing when he told Harvey he would go to Bobby. It wasn't for moral reasons, that he wouldn't, he just didn't think he had that kind of money either. Not the full amount at least. He couldn't let the opportunity pass, however, and thought it was pretty clever to remember the name that his brother had mentioned briefly.

Stemple could barely keep the nefarious smirk off his face while Marcus went through his presentation. If it were anyone else, he wouldn't have been granted the time, let alone the consideration, but A. Elliott was scheming.

He was a man who valued efficiency, and killing two birds with one stone was a welcomed possibility. There were charges being discussed involving one of his boss's competitors, the type that could lead to an opportunity to short major stock and make significant money. If Marcus got the information from Harvey, he would be tied into insider trading and the money for his restaurant would look like the compensation for it. Harvey would be enraged when he found out, and his boss would be quite happy.

"Thank you for coming in today, Mr. Specter," he said in a way that was so fake, even Marcus might have been able to see through it, if he wasn't so busy throwing an internal party about the opportunity.

"I will run this up the chain to my boss, just remember what we discussed about scratching each other's backs," Stemple offered in way of parting, shaking Harvey's brother's hand as he saw him out.

Marcus was excited. There was no guarantee that it would lead to anything, that he would secure a loan or investor for his restaurant, but the pitch meeting had gone even better than he expected. Mr. Stemple had told him that his boss would invest the whole amount if he came through, and all he had to do was get a little harmless information out of Harvey without being obvious.

Despite his business classes, Marcus didn't know the ins and outs of investing. He certainly didn't know much about the laws governing trading. It was easy for him to assume that Forstman just wanted an advantage over competitors, like a scouting report or gameplan in sports.

Doing it without tipping off Harvey, well he assumed it was just because his brother wasn't Forstman's biggest fan and that he might not want to help him. Harvey was always droning on about his cases anyway it shouldn't be a problem.

May 23, 2002 – Present Day

Leave a message at the beep.

"Hey Harvey," Marcus greeted, sounding particularly cheery.

His brother hadn't answered his phone, but he thought that might be for the better. He could leave him a voicemail, sharing what he wanted to, without Harvey asking any questions. It was possible that he still would later, like when he returned his call, but he was so engrossed in work that he might not even bother.

"I'll keep it brief, but I am just calling you to let you know that the grand opening for my restaurant is next month. I told you I could do it. And before you throw a tantrum, I promise you I didn't use Bobby's money. I found an investor."

He had a feeling that Harvey wouldn't approve of the investor either, so he didn't plan to name him if asked. It was just his gut speaking though, and he didn't know the reason. As far as Marcus was concerned, Mr. Forstman was a generous and wildly successful businessman.

"Anyway, that's it for now. I'll send you the details for the opening. Talk to you later, dickhead."

Click.

October 16, 2002 - Present Day

"What are you doing here?" Andrew Malik asked, as he stepped into Cameron Dennis's office after catching a beacon of red in the corner of his eye.

It had startled Donna, who had been arranging files to leave their boss from another successful plea agreement, but she contained her reaction enough that it didn't show. She sighed internally, preparing for the unwelcome conversation.

He was someone who just always seemed to be around the office, and her early impressions weren't great. They didn't get any better with time, either. Malik was a competent prosecutor, well above average in fairness. The chip on his shoulder, however, was so large that she thought others could easily see it too. It didn't take her being Donna to know that he was an overeager person that let his desperation for recognition tank all semblances of decency.

She had her gift, but sometimes people made it so obvious that she didn't need to tap into it. He was one of those people, hungry, determined, but nearly permanently angry due to his perception of himself not quite matching reality.

"Probably the same thing you are, Andy. Working," she responded with an eyeroll, though he might not have seen it as she didn't bother looking up from what she was doing.

It was already after 8pm, and she hated going home this late. The case was technically Harvey's, but they had been working together as they often did, and she had volunteered to be the one to finish things up.

The secretary that they shared would have done it normally, but Tina had called in sick. After some of the emails that Donna had received the night before, she thought sick was code for hungover, but it wasn't something she would hold against the woman. The support staff was just as overworked as the ADAs were, especially the ones who were assigned to multiple attorneys.

Cameron still needed the completed files first thing in the morning, so it was one of those nights that they couldn't go home together. Even when there was more work to be done after hours, they could usually finish at their apartment, so they could spend some quality time with their kiddo before they had to.

It was hard enough already to be away from Addy, so it required something of high importance to not head out the second the day was supposed to be over.

Donna had always been more organized than Harvey, and more proficient with the paperwork side of things. She had sent him home while she stayed to handle it. Guilt wasn't the right label, but he would likely take much longer, and he had missed far more nights than her from when they still lived apart. Sometimes, she put him first because of it.

That often seemed like such a distant memory, but it would rear its head from time to time. They had been back together, living together, for over a year now, and it almost felt like that had always been the case. At least until she recalled some random law school memory. They were together now, though, living, working, sleeping, and that wasn't changing.

She loved him in a way that she hadn't thought was possible. It had felt like a sacrifice before, giving up acting. The stage was so invigorating, but working side by side with Harvey gave her a sense of purpose that was only outdone by being Addy's mother. She loved her reality now, and could laugh at her younger self.

"I'm surprised that you're even bothering," he said and sneered at her, as she refocused on the source of her annoyance.

Andrew didn't have a real reason to approach her, but he couldn't resist confronting her when there was no one else around to overhear.

If she wasn't so intertwined with Harvey, he probably wouldn't have such an issue with her. Even if she generally left the office on time unlike him, he knew she was a hard worker. He was also aware enough to notice that Cameron Dennis was tougher on women, but Donna managed to excel anyway. She always pulled her weight.

Harvey never had to, not in the same way. The man was skilled, he couldn't ignore that part. He always found a way to win, and generally that way was an audience attracting spectacle. That way also usually involved intimidation and manipulation, and other tactics that Malik turned his nose at.

He saw himself as an ethical person, and preferred how he approached the law to reflect it. Rules served as his guide, and tireless preparation to outwork and outwit the defense was his playbook. He refused to wade in the muck with the criminals, like certain other prosecutors did.

Sure, every lawyer had to flirt with crossing the line from time to time, but he wasn't sure Harvey had any lines at all. His world was made of shades of gray and black, and he clearly didn't know right from wrong. All that the arrogant attorney understood was winning and losing, not justice, nor ethics. He was barely a step above the criminals they were prosecuting.

That didn't stop him from getting all the eyes and admiration. Harvey certainly didn't know what it felt like to spend a day outside of the spotlight, and it was their god damn boss who was shining it.

It was their boss who was buying Harvey drinks, or sharing them in his office when Harvey would pretend to be a family man, insisting he had to go home early. It was their boss who constantly chose Harvey to work the crimes that would get his name in the papers.

Harvey was the one who got his advice and his attention. Harvey was the one he tapped on the shoulder, who he anointed as his right-hand man, only days into his tenure.

Cameron never noticed people like Malik, the people who stayed late night after night, the people who would always be loyal to the DA's office. The thing was, Cameron never noticed Donna either, at least not to the level that her track record would suggest was earned.

Malik knew he should feel more connected to her, not resentful. They were basically in the same boat. He never would though, because she was with Harvey. That was a dealbreaker in his mind and she wasn't perfect anyway. Donna might paint herself as good and moral, but he wasn't falling for it. If Harvey was the type of man she shared her bed with, then it followed that she shared his values.

"And why is that?" she asked, standing up straighter and finally bothering to take him in. She wasn't quite sure what he was implying, but she didn't want to appear weak in the face of it. Height was always something she had more than the average woman, even without her heels that added a few inches. She never shied away from using it.

Every time she walked into a courtroom, she felt formidable. It was on her own turf, in the office, with the people that were supposed to be allies not enemies, that she ever felt less than. She refused to keep letting the chatter about her, or Andrew Malik of all people, get under her skin.

She probably shouldn't indulge him in the slightest, but she was curious to know what he was suggesting, even if she already had a hunch.

"We all know where Harvey plans to be in a couple years and you've already trapped him with a baby. Not every woman would be here late while her hotshot boyfriend is out getting a drink with the boss," he shrugged, aiming to appear casual as he suggested that she might as well stay at home and live off Harvey.

He might not like Donna, but he understood her. He understood how important standing on her own was to her. It made him want to use that to dig into her a little deeper. Besides, even if she did have the talent to belong, she also possessed the looks to use to her advantage. Hopping into bed had landed her a whale like Harvey.

"I'm not every woman, Andy, but you already know that. And I am damn good at what I do," she snapped at him, letting her frustration get the best of her.

"And what exactly is it that you do, Donna. Because women who look like you…well you know," he said, trailing off to taunt her.

"No, I don't, actually. Why don't you tell me," she demanded, not willing to back down.

"Forget it," he tried, feeling like he made his point already.

"I'm not going to forget it, Andy. And I'm not going to let you get away with false accusations. Especially when you don't even have the balls to spell it out," she clapped back, unwilling to let go of his insinuation. She was still clutching a file in her hand without even realizing it, as she glared at him.

"You know what? You're right. Cameron and Harvey are like father and son, but you're nothing to him. Definitely not like how you are with your work husband," he jeered, still lingering in the doorway. "I bet that bothers you, doesn't it. However many years and a kid together and I still have to put 'work' before husband."

"You don't know anything about me, Andrew, and you certainly don't know Harvey," she responded strongly, continuing to stare him down. It wasn't the first time someone had attempted to use her marital status as an insult, and she was certain it wouldn't be the last.

"I know this much. I know that Cameron loves Harvey so he can't see the truth that is in front of his face," he said, waving a hand in front of his.

"And what truth is that? Because I am beginning to think you lost sight of what that word even means." Her hand was on her hip as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"That there is no way that Harvey Specter will be here forever," he answered, ignoring her jab.

His instinct was to step towards her, get close and really tower over her to assert his dominance, but he had enough sense not to. Some of the comments he had made were already on the borderline of harassment, though he didn't see her as someone who would report him.

Donna was about to ask him to explain why that was a bad thing, when he was here for a prearranged amount of time to begin with. Even if he wasn't, people moved on, sought higher pay or more challenging work all the time.

Despite Cameron's fondness for her boyfriend, he wasn't a boss she would want to work for long term anyway. Moving on was desirable, but Malik clearly saw it as some sort of slight. She was going to question him about that, why he thought it was so profound when what he was saying didn't matter, but she was more ready for the conversation to just be over.

He had more to say, she could tell, so she let him keep talking, hoping it would make him go away sooner. She was eager to get home to her family.

"And you won't either," he continued. "You're going to follow him wherever he goes and spend the rest of your career in his shadow. I'll be here though, I'll be here forever. I don't care how tight they are, and I don't care how tight the two of you are. I'll outlast you all as a prosecutor."

When she first started, she wasn't surprised that she had to deal with the noise around her. She loved being Harvey Specter's girlfriend and the mother of his child, but that wasn't her identity. It was unfortunate how many others failed to see that. Her confidence in herself and her ability as a lawyer was only growing, but so was her frustration.

It wasn't just about the lack of respect. Convicting the man who beat his wife into a coma, or the Bonnie and Clyde couple who murdered the pharmacist who stood in the way of Vicodin and Percocet, was rewarding in itself, but not enough to keep her satisfied, either.

"The funny thing is, Andy, you so obviously do care. You're jealous that Harvey can put in half as much work and still have twice the success and recognition."

He glowered at her in response, but he didn't interrupt.

"You're right about one part, though. Harvey and I are close. We're like this," she stated and brought her hands up, interlacing her fingers. "That shadow you can't escape, that's both of ours together."

She left it on that note and breezed past him out of the office.

February 22, 2003 – Present Day

"So, what is it you said you do again, Al," Gordon asked halfheartedly.

When Donna had called to check his availability, he was delighted that the scheduling worked. He had a few days off before his next gig, and a son he didn't get to see enough of. That went double for his granddaughter, who was currently playing with the doll he gave her next to him on the couch.

Al was standing in front of him, a glass of wine in one hand, a few pieces of meat and cheese he had swiped from the charcuterie board in the other. He practically chugged the wine before answering.

"I own a beeper emporium slash one stop cellular phone shop. I am your man for any and all communication needs. I also sell home security systems," he said, and it came off as bragging.

Al was a loud and proud man, with more hair on his back than on his head, who couldn't reach the top shelf at grocery store. Jim wasn't a tall man either, and Al's shorter stature was the only thing that Donna could even begin to see what her mom saw in him. No one else could seem to either.

"That's interesting, Al," Peggy facetiously interjected, having just walked over from where she had been chatting with Clara, Donna, and Harvey. "Good thing you sell phones though, beepers are becoming obsolete. Do you ever worry about that?"

"Please, call me Mr. Duncan, young lady," he said politely, but sincerely. Al considered himself an old-fashioned type of man, and a woman in her twenties wasn't his peer. "To answer your question, we in the business know better than to worry. Do you know how many doctors there are that need the infallibility, sweetheart?"

"Oh, I bet you could give me the statistics." Her voice was sugary, but she wanted to say it sharply. She also wanted to roll her eyes or make a gagging noise, but she resisted.

"The numbers would surprise you," he returned, missing the intent behind her comment. Turning back to Gordon, uninterested in asking Peggy any questions about her work, Al focused on him again. "What about you, Gordon, you mentioned music. Would I have heard anything by you before?"

"My band has gotten a few spins on a couple of east coast stations, but live performances are more our speed." Gordon answered.

He stared over the man's shoulder as they spoke, hoping to be rescued. It was his first time meeting Clara, who he considered a lovely woman, but he was willing to avoid her the rest of the night if it meant he could do the same with her obnoxious boyfriend. Dinner being served was his next best chance to escape the conversation, but he couldn't get a read of when that might be. Donna and his son seemed to still be getting things ready.

"Harvey, would you mind helping me in the kitchen for a moment?" Donna asked sweetly, though in a way that still managed to sound oddly formal.

"Right behind you," he assured, though he stopped to refill Clara's wine before following Donna. With the layout of their apartment, they certainly weren't going far. The music playing in the background at least made it so they could talk without being overheard.

He couldn't tell if Donna's tone stemmed from being out of her element with the various courses of dinner they were making, or if she was feeling awkward about meeting her mother's boyfriend. Clara had been with Jim Donna's whole life, and he couldn't fault her if she didn't want to watch someone take her father's place. On top of it all, this new guy was a fucking weirdo.

"I should have taken her up on her offer, but she does so much for Addy," Donna blurted as Harvey stepped beside her.

It took him a second, especially with the way she was wringing her hands nervously that stole his attention, but he realized she was referring to Clara's offer to prepare the food for the evening. She was a wonderful cook, it actually surprised Harvey sometimes how it wasn't passed down to Donna. She'd always been closer to her mom, but managed to pick up more of her dad's hobbies. That was likely because she had to compete for the affection that was so freely given to Veronica.

He wasn't complaining about her lack of culinary excellence, however. They lived in a city where it was common to survive off of takeout and street vendors alone. Not all apartments even came with a full kitchen, although theirs did, and he was the one to use it more often. It wasn't like he was a Michelin chef either, but he'd picked up a few things growing up, and a few more things from Scottie during law school. He didn't mention that part to Donna, though.

Harvey moved closer to Donna, and took her hands in his, stilling her fidgeting. "Relax," he instructed, and it reminded her of the first time. "I just braised the roast, and it looks as good as it smells. Addy is charming the pants off people, even though she's up past her bedtime. Everything is going just fine."

"I'd prefer if our guests keep their pants on," she joked, appreciating the way he already had her smiling. "My mom is here, jeez." She smacked his chest playfully.

He rolled his eyes, but smiled back. Not that he would ever tell her, but sometimes he enjoyed these moments when she was a bit flustered. She was always so put together and incredible, that he didn't mind the little reminders that she was still human, or the times that she would lean on him.

"And for the record, everything was not fine when my mother's loser boyfriend spilled red wine on my favorite rug. Or when Phillip and Tina cancelled last minute ruining my perfectly planned guest list and screwing up the chemistry," she vented, after stepping back from Harvey to work on the basic salad she would be serving. Salads at least were in her wheelhouse.

When Clara had pitched the idea of a dinner party, Donna wasn't entirely sure if she was suggesting just coming over for a meal, or more of a traditional affair. Deciding that the more guests they had, the less direct conversation she would be forced to have with her mother's new beau, she went all in. She chose Phillip and Tina from work, Peggy and Steph of course, and Gordon since he was family.

Stephanie wasn't available, and she hadn't really been lately. Donna thought there might be something going on with her, and planned to check in soon. With the cancellations, it left the attendees as Peggy, Gordon, and the guests of honor, Clara and Al.

Donna was a fabulous host, organizer, planner, all of the above. Her time at the French restaurant had only helped to refine her palate and enhance her eye for the finer details. This should all feel right up her alley. For some reason, however, when the responsibility of cooking food fell to her, and not just serving it, she felt more nerves than she ever had in a courtroom.

The last time she felt like this was the first time she ever tried to cook for Harvey.

October 11, 1996

She'd been asking herself what the hell she had been thinking basically all day. It had only been three weeks since they started seeing each other, and she didn't want to push him. Her gut told her that he was just as into her as she was him, but it also told her that getting serious wasn't normally his thing.

Of course, dating was the one area in which she couldn't always trust her gut, so she found herself panicked about moving too fast, and feeling like an idiot for offering a homecooked meal. She was a miserable cook. Why she thought she could pull off lamb shanks by just consulting a cookbook was a mystery.

With as many times as she had opened the oven to check on them, she was pretty sure she was messing with the temperature and the cooking time. The shanks managed to look dry and burnt in places, while seemingly undercooked as well. She couldn't find the meat thermometer, and both Peggy and Stephanie were gone for the night, so she couldn't ask them either.

Her hair was a mess, the kitchen was way too hot, and she hadn't had a chance to change out of her baggy T-shirt and sweats when she heard Harvey knocking.

"Hey," she greeted, after swinging up in the door in a bit of a frenzy. Time slowed down after that, after she let her eyes trail down his delicious form.

"Am I early?" he asked, cocking his head, and taking in her uncharacteristic appearance. She was still breathtaking to him, however.

It freaked him out a little, how strongly he felt about her this early in. Dating to him didn't mean much more than seeing a woman a second time, but after a few weeks with Donna, he already hated when they were apart.

"You're right on time," she answered, ushering him. "But I'm afraid the dinner is finished, and by finished, I mean done for," she announced, attempting to sound nonchalant even though she was feeling anything but.

There was this vision she had in her mind for the night. A romantic dinner, candles, music, a dress that she had been saving for such an occasion, yet the food was headed straight to the trashcan, and she never had the chance to get cute, let alone set the mood.

The nerves came back again, maybe even stronger. It caught her off guard, how much she was worrying about impressing him. Normally, if a guy wasn't interested in sticking around, if that ever even happened, she would write it off as a major red flag, and consider herself having dodged a bullet.

With Harvey it was different. She wasn't looking to dodge, and if anything, she would take the bullet. At the very least, she wanted the night to go perfectly, but the failures were already mounting.

"Harvey, I'm so sorry. I really wanted this–"

"Relax," he told her, stepping closer and cupping her cheek after the briefest hesitation. "I bet we can find something else in there to whip together. I'll help you, or you can sit back, kick up your feet and let me blow your mind like I did last night," he said, and shifted from sweet to seductive quickly, with his velvety voice and the eyebrow wiggle he added for good measure.

"You cook?" she questioned. Her reaction was exaggerated, gasping, and bringing a hand to her mouth, but she genuinely wouldn't have guessed it. She loved learning new things about him almost as much as she loved teasing him.

"Why do you look so surprised," he followed, with mock offense, narrowing his eyes.

"All I am saying is that you look like some who knows his way around a bedroom, definitely a courtroom someday, but not exactly a kitchen." She flicked her wrist at him, pointing a finger.

"Oh, I am going to teach you a thing or two about doubting me, Miss Paulsen."

She shrieked when he bent down and scooped her up, lifting her over his shoulder and carrying her to the kitchen.

Present Day

She smiled at the memory, and was ready to laugh at herself now. The food would be great, Harvey would make sure of it. If she somehow messed it up, even from just her proximity, she didn't care anymore. Not impressing Al wasn't much of a consequence.

"You're right, Harvey," she affirmed, circling back to his words about everything being okay.

"Do you want to say that again, I think I might have missed it," he said, faking a confused look.

"Oh please!" She waved her hand and pursed her lips, then decided to make better use of them. Once they broke the kiss, she continued. "We should probably get back out there before Al comes in offering tips."

Before Harvey had a chance to respond, Al came strutting over. "Hey you two lovebirds, I just wanted to see if I could be of any service. They don't call me the master of meat for nothing, you know."

"We have it under control, but thank you," Donna informed him, and left no room for a rebuttal when she asked him to bring a couple of bottles of wine back to the dinner table.

Once Al was out of earshot, Harvey turned to her, wearing an impressed look. "How did you know that was coming?"

"It's a gift, and a curse," she retorted, posturing smugly.

"I see you've been watching Monk again without me. Let's head back my little defective detective," he said, grinning into his kiss on her forehead.

When they returned to the group, they came bearing shrimp cocktail. They also had a few bottles of stronger stuff, but hadn't really had to play bartender yet, minus a couple whiskeys for Gordon.

"My god, where did my mom find this loser?" she whispered into Harvey's ear, after witnessing Al doing a robot dance impression, splashing more wine in the process.

The answer was back in Connecticut. They had met before she moved to New York to help care for Addy. Apparently, they had kept in touch, though Donna guessed it wouldn't stay that way. At some point her wonderful mother would come to her senses.

"I'm not sure, but we should probably ask her so that we can send him back there. I am happy to pay the shipping fee," he joked, matching her volume and the way she leaned in, to make it easier to talk quietly.

"I suppose that's better than where my mind was going. I couldn't choose between shoving one of his beepers up his ass or rolling him up in my rug that he ruined and dumping it in the East River," she deadpanned, then shrugged her shoulders casually.

He wasn't prepared for that type of humor or her straight-faced delivery. A laugh burst out of him so suddenly that the food in his mouth, from the bite he had just taken, was turned into a projectile just as unexpectedly. To his horror, his girlfriend's mother was downrange.

Harvey froze immediately, not wanting to call attention to the half-eaten piece of shrimp now lodged in Clara's hair. He knew he should probably attempt to remove it, but he doubted he could be subtle with the way her hairspray had it stuck in there like a tick. Maybe it would loosen itself enough to fall out discretely.

He glanced over his shoulder and noticed Peggy fighting off a laugh of her own. She gave him an air hive-five when she caught his eye, and he was pretty sure she mouthed, "It should have been Al," though he didn't have much hair for it to land in.

"So, Harvey," the man they had just been quietly mocking started, after waving Harvey over. "Clara tells me that you and Donna aren't married."

Harvey, who had scooped up a now drowsy Addy, glared at the shorter man over his daughter's head, that was resting on his shoulder. He didn't know where Al was going with this, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

Clara had only told him that in response to a question of his asking. She thought it necessary to point out that it wasn't some sort of criticism, and that it was common, but Al interrupted before she had a chance to fully make her point.

"No, no," he said, brushing her off. "I know it's how this younger generation is. I'm just a little surprised. Harvey is a prosecutor, so he can see how these broken homes are churning out this new wave of hoodlums," he explained. "A child needs a strong father and a very clear household dynamic."

As presumptuous and insulting as his words were, he said it in a way that almost came off as caring. He tried to deliver it in a way that his judgement was seen as him seeking understanding, but Harvey could see right through it.

"Al," Clara jumped in. "Not in front of my grandbaby." She preferred him not to go there at all, but thought that Addy was a good excuse to talk him down gently.

"She's too young to understand," he insisted, biting into a few shrimp at the same time, and talking with his mouth full. "But Harvey needs to hear this." When he had stuffed the shrimp into his mouth, a rather large glob of cocktail sauce propelled itself onto his white, button-up shirt.

"I don't, actually," Harvey responded, gruffly. "What goes on in other people's homes has nothing to do with me and Donna. There is nothing broken about our family." He was starting to get heated. His girls were off limits.

Thankfully, he had an arm full of one now, helping him to contain his anger. He lightly stroked his daughter's hair, ghosting a tender kiss to the same spot. His touch was fleeting enough not to rouse her, but he felt her nuzzle into him more, as she slumbered.

"I get it, I get it," he dismissed again. "I'm sure you know how to head your household. But what is the rest of the world going to think when they see Donna with a child and no husband? What are they going to see other than a single mom who the father refused to marry?"

Donna hadn't heard the conversation, as she was busy chatting with Gordon and Peggy, but she saw the way Harvey's jaw was clenched suddenly. She also noticed the rigidness in the arm that wasn't around their baby girl, and called him over just to save him.

When the night was all said and done, she would have some serious questions for her mother. If this was dating on Clara's end, Donna might have to put together a new list of contenders. It would start with her father, if he could get his act together.

May 10, 2003 – Present Day

The very first time they had slept together, Donna was surprised to discover that Harvey was a cuddler. Though, as she got to know him better, she developed her suspicions that his need to always be entangled was something unique to her, to them.

Every time they had shared a bed since, whether it was when they were together, or those times they jumped on any excuse to be closer, they had always ended up in each other's arms. Being wrapped up in him was as familiar to her as anything, but she could tell something was slightly off this moment. It was as if there was an additional level of clinginess, or a quiet desperation.

Whatever was causing it, it certainly wasn't the sex they just had. The way he shifted from acrobatic and adventurous fucking to an almost torturously slow and sensual lesson in the art of lovemaking, was masterful. Or maybe it was exactly that, but she got the impression it was something more lingering and more mental.

They were still slick with sweat, their heartbeats still returning to normal, when her brain function was restored enough to really notice. She paused the internal highlight reel, the flashing images that kept her toes curled and her skin tingling, to get him talking.

"What's going on in there?" she asked and gently stroked his temple with the hand that wasn't lightly gliding up and down his muscled back.

He was still lying on top of her, between her legs, and she wasn't ready to let him go. His weight was a heaviness she had come to love, and he thankfully had worked past the worry that it was too much, when he lingered.

"It's nothing," he muttered with a sigh before leaning down to kiss her softly.

"Oh no, I am not letting you off the hook, so you might as well spill it, Specter," she lightly demanded.

There was a certain skill that was required to get him to open up on occasion. She was becoming an expert at knowing when to give him a nudge, and when to let him come to her.

"You know, interrogating me after mind blowing sex is totally unfair. I am pretty sure there are laws against it," he weakly protested. She would get what she wanted, she always did, and even more so when she had him like this. It didn't mean she couldn't work for it a little, while he formed his words and reveled in the aftermath.

"Hmmmm, I don't remember that being a question on the bar," she said with sass, but was still full of patience. He kissed her again, and she let it go on a while before she playfully slapped his triceps. "You're not as sneaky as you think, mister. I know you're trying to distract me, and it's not going to work."

"Give me five more minutes and I bet I could change your mind on that. Unless you want me to 'put my mouth to better use' now?" he said suggestively, and fixed a smoldering look upon her. If not for the fact that he actually did plan to share, he might have already slid down her body and started tasting her.

"As tempting as that is, I'm going to go ahead and make you talk." After she bit her lip and considered his offer longer, she grinned at him before noticing the way his mood had shifted. "What?" she asked, with a tenderness meant to settle him and prod a little.

"Does it bother you? What Al said, about you, about us not…" He ducked his head, mumbling the last part of it into her neck. Marcus had made comments before too, and he doubted that it stopped with the two of them.

Al wasn't someone she had spent any time thinking about after the god awful dinner party. He was pretty much the sole reason for the sentiment, as he only grew more obnoxious as the night continued. He had also continued to get drunker, and had managed to knock over her tray of cannoli bites, in addition to the rug he had ruined. Dessert was the one part of the meal that was directly hers, and that she was proud of.

"Not being married?" she finished for him, arching an eyebrow. "Harvey, I don't care about what Al thinks, or anyone else for that matter. Not about this," she stated with an air of finality. "Does it bother you? That we're not."

She hadn't heard the conversation firsthand, though her mother had filled her in while giving the long list of reasons she wasn't planning on continuing to see Al. His words must have really gotten to Harvey, if he was still thinking about them months later.

"I know we're going to be together forever, but I guess marriage isn't something I really thought about. But we do have a kid together, so if you wanted to…" he trailed off, floating the idea out there.

She squeezed her eyes closed briefly, and likely clenched him more tightly as well, as she inadvertently tensed up. Maybe it was something that he had never really considered, but she had. It was something that she definitely wouldn't mind, but also not something that she needed. Especially not because an idiot ex of her mother's overshared his opinion.

"Hey," she started, tipping his chin up. "We don't listen to the outside noise, it's just you and me. Just like at the office, we can't always silence the chatter, but we can't let it impact us."

She held his gaze until he nodded once, then let him settle back down into her. "Speaking of work, I'm beginning to question my place there. I'm not saying we have to make any decisions now, I just don't know how long I can continue working for a viper," she told him, twisting her face up at the thought of Cameron Dennis.

She knew that Harvey saw some of his flaws, but not to the level that she did. There was a shadiness to their boss that she suspected went even deeper than she could explain at this point. With her gift being unique, sometimes she had to find out exactly what her gut was telling her, and then the proof needed, for others to see it.

September 18, 2003 – Present Day

"Look, Harvey, I didn't just call you in here to high-five you about the Mackenzie brothers." His boss told him as he gestured for Harvey to take a seat in his own chair.

"That much was obvious considering how long you left me hanging," Harvey joked while he sat down, curious about the side of the desk that was suggested.

"Well, like I said, that's kid shit, but I do suppose you have one of those, so I'll let you off the hook," he said while taking up residence on the corner of his desk. "Which actually brings me to my next point. I had my concerns about you juggling both, but you're killing it, and you've been killing it."

"I seem to remember telling you I would." Harvey never forgot those types of things, and made sure the doubters didn't either.

"When you're right, you're right, junior, and I think it's time that you got rewarded for it. Head litigator," he proposed, and he meant it.

Cameron had always meant it every time he suggested that Harvey could follow in his footsteps. Sure, he had his reservations about his protégé balancing his parental duties, but he had come through time and time again.

It was nice having someone to mentor. Maybe it filled a void that never having kids himself created, but either way, he knew he wanted to keep him around, and keep teaching him. He liked the idea of handing over the reins someday, though that would also require voters.

"I know you have your deal with Jessica," he continued. "But frankly, Mr. Family Man, this is a better job for it. You think about that. And go celebrate with your Girl Friday, just not with my scotch."

Harvey left to do so, flattered by the high praise, but not without noticing that Cameron still considered Donna his helper, and not his equal.

…..

"What's got you shining like Jack Nicholson?" Donna asked from where she was seated at her secretary's desk, their secretary's desk. Sharing Tina was based on personnel availability, but it worked out well for them, and they tried not to overwork her.

"Did you just compare me to a deranged killer?" he questioned, cocking his head suspiciously.

"To be fair, I used the actor not the character, and that was multi layered material. For one, your stupid grin is practically lighting up the place, and he had a pretty iconic smile in the movie," she defended.

"When he was chopping down the door? Now you're just doubling down on deranged," he retorted, letting out a short laugh.

"You know what, mister, I never give you shit for your movie references, and this was A+ worthy," she protested as she watched him present the scotch he had been concealing behind his back, before she waited for him to return with glasses.

The office had cleared out early this evening, especially considering that the summer heat often came with an influx of prosecutable arrests. The season was already shifting to fall, but the aftermath of the crime sprees was just beginning.

"Compliments of Cameron Dennis," he stated and poured them both a few fingers, but he still hadn't answered her original question.

"What are we celebrating and for how long before we head home to Addy?" she asked curiously, having sensed that he was in a good mood ever since he walked over grinning.

"Not long, I just thought our boss tapping me on the shoulder for head litigator deserved a drink." His smile was still present, but there was a cocky air to it, as he sat as close to her as he could on the desk.

"Head litigator? Harvey, that deserves more than a drink. We need like a ritual or something."

Her reaction to the news was mixed. She already had one foot out the door and this was the kind of offer that could make Harvey want them to stay in it. Still, she couldn't help but be proud of him. He was an incredible attorney, and he deserved any recognition and praise thrown his way, even from their snake of a boss.

"What do you have in mind?" Several images popped into his, and he briefly wondered if he could talk her into pretrial blowjobs, or head, to fit the title.

"I don't know, but you do know I am proud, right?"

Sometimes he took his accomplishments for granted. People expected it from him almost as much as he expected it of himself. She wanted to make sure he always knew that while she knew entirely what he was capable of, it still amazed her sometimes when managed things that others couldn't. Head litigator this early into his career was unheard of, and he pulled it off while being so god damned sexy.

She had to pinch herself from time to time to believe that this was her life. A beautiful and already bright little girl at home who had her heart, and this man – this insanely attractive man who could face anything and anyone and come out on top, who loved her, and would always protect her – she had it all. Except for a decent boss, maybe, but they would figure out that part eventually.

He nodded in response, he knew she was, but he was still distracted by the enticing images that he had conjured. "I have some ideas, but they all involve whipped cream." He leaned forward, raking his eyes over her, over his glass.

"Oh please, I can picture what those are," she said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at him. "People talk about us behind our backs enough already, you know. We don't have to risk them walking in on something traumatizing."

"It's not traumatizing when we're this hot. People pay for that." He waggled his eyebrows and made sure to say it smugly.

"Well, I, for one, am not selling tickets. But I suppose if you keep it PG-13 I might just go along with it." She lowered her voice and matched his delivery.

He made a mental note to add a mini fridge to his office and keep it stocked with whipped cream.

September 22, 2003 – Present Day

Harvey was a little surprised that a conversation about extending his time at the DA's office would prompt Jessica to lead him up to the rooftop. He wondered, briefly, if she had bad news to report. Maybe his spot wasn't so guaranteed anymore. If one of the named partners didn't want him there, as unfathomable as that seemed based on his already formidable track record, and the fact that he's Harvey god damn Specter, her office would have sufficed.

"Do you want to stay there because it is a step up, or has fatherhood made you complacent?" she questioned, after Harvey had explained the head litigator offer.

He had taken a few days to ponder what he wanted to do before bringing it to his first mentor. Donna wanted the choice to be his, though she wasn't shy about her feelings regarding their current boss. She had also mentioned wanting to transition to something that afforded opportunities to help people in ways that weren't just punitive, such as doing pro bono cases. In their desire to always work together, she promised she could be patient with that, if head litigator was something important to him.

Harvey could tell that Jessica was forcing her face to remain as neutral as possible as she inquired about the position that was on the table, but that there was still plenty of judgment laced with her words.

"If you have to ask, you should have never paid for me to go to law school in the first place," he replied, with a tone that removed any doubt.

Complacent. As fucking if.

"You're right," she acknowledged with a slight bow of her head. The words felt a little foreign to her tongue. "So, are you serious about his offer then? Do you see yourself there in ten years?"

"Why do you want to know?" he asked, being tightlipped out of habit.

It wasn't like she didn't deserve to know his thought process, though she was the one to throw out a light accusation first. If anything, having a daughter made for one more person whose opinion mattered to him, who he wanted to do his best for. There weren't many of those, and he needed to be a great man in her eyes, as she grew up.

"You mean besides wanting to ensure I get my money's worth?" she responded rhetorically. Her arms were crossed, but it was less of a defensive position and more about the wind on the rooftop making it chillier than the temperature for the day might have suggested.

If he really wanted to stay, she would let him. They could always negotiate repayment of his law school costs if he chose not to come work for her for too long, or at all. If he couldn't see the value of her next offer, once he had a chance to mull it over, he wasn't the right fit anyway.

"I have a promotion ready for you right here, and I'd rather speed up your timeline than extend it," she added, answering his question more in depth.

Technically, he would be coming back as they had agreed upon before, just sooner. His time as the DA's office would count towards his associate years, but he would still be an associate. A promotion might not be the right word, especially over a head litigator position, but the pay would certainly be substantially better.

She had no doubt he would be able to rise to partner quickly, as well. There were 50 associates in his hiring class, but not a single one had the potential that Harvey did. Not even Louis Litt, if he stopped letting his insecurities get the best of him.

"What are you talking about?" he followed, looking at her with a mix of surprise and confusion.

The last time he had approached her about coming back early, she had shut the idea down quickly. Marcus and his gambling might have been the primary reason, but he had still believed she would want him to serve out his time at the DA's office regardless.

She hesitated for just a moment before she decided that since she opened the door to this topic, she had to trust Harvey with it. When she plucked him out of the mailroom, she meant to groom him into being her best weapon and her ally anyway, she might as well start now.

"Daniel Hardman and I are taking Gordon, Schmidt, and Van Dyke down," she informed bluntly and with certainty.

"That's why we're up here," he said, understanding now. He knew there had to be a reason beyond fresh air that was odorized by street meat and the garbage of an overcrowded city.

"Did you think we were going to make out?" she retorted with a smile.

"I don't think Donna would sign off on that," he joked, because he knew Jessica wasn't serious either.

In the past, he was used to being the instigator when it came to suggestive comments. For the longest time, it was the only way he knew how to speak to women. Jessica was always one to give as good as she got, albeit it in a classier way than him.

It worked, because neither of them would ever mean it. Jessica was a beautiful woman, but almost from day one he saw her as a mentor. As they grew closer, she became somewhat of a mother figure as well, though maybe that was because he had a gaping hole in regard to that position. He didn't know if she was old enough to actually fit that role, and he knew better than to ask her.

When it came to mothers, though, there was only one who really mattered to him. The one who made him a father, who he couldn't live without.

"I take it that means you're back together. Is that really why you want to stay longer?" she asked, though she knew he wouldn't like the question.

It wasn't, which he explained with annoyance. He came to her because of the head litigator position, but he did have some things to think through when it came to Donna. They were a team, and packaged deal, he wouldn't consider a career move without her. Now was not the time to mention it to Jessica, not before he was sure what his plan was.

When the time came, they really needed to find a way around the Harvard bylaw.

September 25, 2003 – Present Day

Donna returned to the office from the courthouse, and she was still stewing from her argument with Harvey. It happened a few days before, after he had come back from meeting with Jessica, but she wasn't ready to let it go, even if it wasn't their biggest disagreement.

When Bertha had mentioned the misfiling, it didn't faze her at first. There were too many cases, too much paperwork, and not enough prosecutors or secretaries for mistakes like that to never happen. The timing wasn't the best for Harvey's case, or technically Cameron Dennis's, but it wouldn't completely unravel it.

Their boss had kept it for himself, but Harvey was doing all the heavy lifting. When he was working on something big, she was working on it with him, and vice versa. It was how she learned that Harvey was trying to bury the toxicology report in the fine print.

The decision he was making, it wasn't the type of lawyer he wanted to be, and she knew that deep down he knew it too. She brought it up to him because she didn't want to see him go down that path, but he basically had chewed her head off.

"Watch yourself."

"That's enough!"

"When it's my god damn case, I'm here, you're here. You have your own, do your job."

She had let it go in the moment, returning to her own office, but it was only because they were at work. At home, they were able to fake it around their daughter that night, they didn't like to fight in front of her, but Harvey definitely knew that he was still in the doghouse.

Despite improving, he was still stubborn with apologies, at least the verbal variety. She had noticed the way he had taken care of dinner and the dishes, and how he had poured her a glass of wine to relax with, while he picked out Addy's outfit for the next day and prepared her bag to bring with her to grandma's. It was why she didn't say anything to him when he waited until he thought she had fallen asleep to pull her into his arms before passing out himself. That, and the fact she needed the contact too, to succumb to slumber.

With the amount of time that had elapsed, she could have moved on, even without him uttering a basic, "I'm sorry." She kept monitoring the case, however, and discovered that the toxicology report wasn't even in the footnotes anymore. The plan was to confront him about it, but not before she asked Tina to look through and compile some of Cameron's old cases.

Donna had a feeling that the total removal of any mention of the report was the DA's doing, and not Harvey's, but that still meant Harvey eventually knew about it. When she brought it up to him, and she would, she wanted to be armed with proof that this wasn't a one-time thing.

It would have been easier to pull files herself, because she better knew what she was looking for. Since it involved their boss, she didn't want to get Tina in too deep, by sharing why she was digging. For that reason, what she found would likely just scratch the surface, but she also didn't want to risk alerting Cameron.

With a general, and casual, inquiry, secretaries tended to do the leg work. Additionally, for what she was trying to confirm, Donna needed an unusually large amount, and all were his cases. The sheer number alone might catch his eye, and it almost certainly would if she was searching through the electronic records or making copies of the physical ones herself, when she normally wouldn't.

With several files in hand, she confronted Harvey. Just like she had suspected, he knew about him burying the toxicology report, but not how often he had done similar shady and illegal things with prior cases.

If she was mad before, now she was enraged.

"I didn't make the call, Donna," he sighed, and slumped back in his chair as if that made it okay.

"Why didn't you tell me when I asked you about it before? You remember, it was after I was already pissed at you, but still fucked your brains out?" she demanded, and he knew by her going there that he should be cognizant of his answer.

He also knew well enough to know that he shouldn't smirk fondly at the mental image of their recent bout of angry sex, but it was very difficult not to. Somehow, he managed to avoid doing so, her current mood was a good motivator. Though, now he was battling another desire to end the conversation by lifting her over his desk and kissing her.

"Because you hated me when I was working in the gray, and this is the black. You know I can't stand it when we fight, especially when it follows us home," he tried to explain, after the highlight reel playing in his mind stopped distracting him.

His pants were feeling a little tighter from his intrusive thoughts, which wasn't helping. She was still standing in front of the desk he was seated at, but he wanted nothing more than to be on the same side of it, reassuring himself with her in his arms. He was trying to be more aware of what she wanted though, especially in this instance.

"I didn't hate you, you idiot, I love you. Always," she replied, shaking her head slightly with exasperation.

He should know that by now, how she felt about him. It would also serve him well to remember that communication was imperative. They both had plenty of experience in making things more difficult by holding something in.

"And that is exactly why I was trying to stop you," she continued before taking a breath and really looking at him. His vulnerability softened her tone and demeanor. "The truth is, I know we see Cameron differently, but what he is making you do is illegal. That's not something I am going to silently stand by and watch when we have a daughter. She is not going to see her dad get in trouble because he works for a serpent."

"I'm not going to get in trouble, Donna. It's his case, and just a one-time thing," he responded weakly, disappointed in himself for the disappointment on her face.

She slapped the files that she had been clutching on his desk one by one, as she explained how far from a one-time thing it really was. Despite the numerous examples, she knew what she found was just the tip of the iceberg. They needed to have a serious talk about their future, and soon.

"Harvey, it might technically be his, but your name is all over it. And more importantly, it's your honor and reputation on the line. Think about your daughter when you decide your next course of action. Could you look her in the eye when she's older and tell her that it was okay to break the law? Furthermore, what would your dad say?" she said a little more sternly.

She wasn't going to ever let Harvey get in trouble if she had any say in it. Just like he would always protect her, she would always protect him too. The same could not be said of Cameron Dennis. As far as she was concerned, he wouldn't hesitate to let Harvey take the fall for him. It gave her an idea to start putting together an emergency file to protect the both of them, once she convinced Harvey that they should leave.

Harvey wasn't entirely sure what to make of everything. Donna was the most righteous person he knew, but that didn't mean she was always right. Well, it seemed like she was always right too, but sometimes, good guys had to do bad things to make the bad guys pay. Donna might not understand that yet, because in his eyes, she could never do wrong. What the right thing was with this case, he wasn't sure yet.

His boss, who had stepped up to be like a mentor, had disappointed him with certain things. The way he spoke about women and the shadiness that kept rearing its ugly head were troublesome examples, but the man did know a lot about the law and winning. Cameron had pegged him as a star in the making, but experience did matter. There were lessons he still could learn on the way to being the best to ever do it, him and Donna, since they did it together.

They were a team, and he wanted her to be on board, and reach whatever conclusion he did. When in doubt, there was one more person he could go to.

September 27, 2003 – Present Day

Gordon had just been considering calling it quits from the band life when everything with Lily got exposed. She ended up keeping the house in the divorce, and had been the more financially solvent one to begin with, leaving Gordon to find a new source of income. Other members had already retired from their group, making it a natural time to do so.

Even without a wife to come home to, his heart wasn't in touring anymore, anyway. It probably didn't help that spending so many years on the road was what he blamed for him losing the love of his life, in addition. One of the loves of his life, the other was music. Now, it felt like he had neither.

Before he had reached the point that performing made any money, he had worked in construction for a time, and as a bartender for longer. His body was too old for what it took to build houses and other structures day in and day out, so getting back to making drinks was an easy choice. He had plenty of connections with bar owners from touring, and it didn't take him long to get an offer that came with solid tips and health benefits.

It had been a while since he had gotten any kind of physical or checkup. Heart problems ran in his family, so it was something he should probably get on top of.

When Harvey had called to tell him that he wanted to drop by to talk to him about something, he was glad he was free. He usually started his shift midday on weekends, but he had a rare Saturday off and told Harvey to meet him at the old baseball field.

"So, work or your girls?" Gordon asked, after Harvey had taken a few swings at the plate and he handed him a beer.

"Work, and I don't know what to do," Harvey admitted, matching his father stride for stride as he moved to unplug the pitching machine before meandering around the field.

Gordon was relieved that it was something to do with the job. As long as it had taken Harvey and Donna to find their way back to each other – and to be able to raise their daughter together in a way that Gordon wished he had with his kids – he wanted it to be smooth sailing for them moving forward. For as long as possible anyway, life never truly stayed trouble free.

Despite that, he believed that their relationship would stand the test of time, even if his own hadn't. Donna was really the perfect match for his son, and he loved her for it. He loved her anyway, and for a lot of reasons, but not having to worry about Harvey having nothing more in his life than just his career, was a big one.

"Breaking the law isn't worth it, no matter what the guy did. I am guessing Donna already told you as much," Gordon said, watching his boy's face as he told him.

"How'd you know?" Harvey asked, and he meant both how he knew about his conundrum and that Donna had given her two cents already.

"You're a prosecutor. You told me you had a problem. Donna is also a prosecutor with as good a head on her shoulders as anyone, and she doesn't exactly hold back either," he said, knowing his son well enough to answer two questions.

"Well, it's not that simple, Dad. It's not coming from just me, and what Donna isn't considering is that if I don't let it go, I'll get fired. How am I supposed to provide for my family if that happens?" He asked it in a way that implored his father to understand.

"Do you think Donna isn't considering that, or she's just not thinking it's more important?" he asked knowingly, and didn't wait for a response. "If you get fired, Son, you go get another job. What happens if you do let it go and you stay?" he added than took a sip of his beer to let his son know it was his turn now.

"Getting a new job isn't that simple either, not if Jessica isn't ready for me and not without betraying my mentor. He may already be down in the dirt, but burying him further isn't something I want to do," he clarified, because getting told to leave never looks good on a resume. The cause would be just, but he would have to drag Cameron through the mud that he inserted himself into, to prove it.

"If I do stay," Harvey continued, "I tell him I'm only doing this once. And I'm only doing it because it's his case, and I'll never do it on one of mine," he insisted, though he wondered how much he even believed it anymore.

Cameron called it his case, but Harvey was doing almost everything. As the DA, they were technically all his cases anyway. He could pull rank on Harvey at any time with any indictment.

Gordon stared at him, waiting for him to get the rest out before he helped Harvey reach the conclusion he knew was forming. Sometimes, his son needed an extra push to see what was right, but he usually got there eventually. Especially when Donna was helping with the pushing. Gordon really did love the woman for his son, not to mention the granddaughter she had given him.

"And then I keep knocking the covers off the bad guys, which is what I do, and I don't bat .385, I bat a thousand. And I don't have to worry about not being able to put a roof over my daughter's head, or food on the table," Harvey finished, picking up a little cockiness as he talked about his job performance. He was still clutching his beer but not really drinking it, distracted by the importance of their talk.

"Alright," Gordon said nonchalantly and shrugged while he prepared his next words in his head.

He had already told Harvey about his mom's opinion about his relationship with Lily back when Harvey sat him down and told him about Bobby. Gordon was still fairly certain he had Donna to thank for the considerate way in which his son broke the news to him. He thought about reminding him again, that once a cheater, always a cheater, even with the law instead of relationships, but he decided to pivot to a new tactic. Harvey was always uncomfortable when he brought up Lily anyway.

"I think you already know what kind of man your boss is, and the likelihood of him stopping with just the one time. Whether he thinks he will or not, he won't. But more importantly, I think you already know that putting your family above your job is the right thing to do. You just needed to hear me say it, because I wasn't always around to when you were younger," he stated, stopping their slow walk when they reached home plate to look his son directly in the eyes.

"Dad–"

"No, let me finish," he cut in, holding his beer gripping hand up. "Lily and I both made mistakes when it came to family. Hers was with Bobby and mine was with music. Man did I love jamming with my boys, playing in front crowds. But I never loved that more than I loved my family, and it would have benefited me to think about that while I was building my career."

Gordon paused to take a sip of his beer and let his words sink in. "Don't make the same mistakes I did, Son, and not just with time. Be the kind of man your family needs you to be," he ended with.

His dad was right about one thing, deep down, Harvey knew already what he needed to do.

October 3, 2003 – Present Day

"So let me get this straight. You turned me down before, and now, you're not only saying that you want to come back, but you want to bring Donna with you?" Jessica asked, while she watched Harvey pace.

Since the takeover was so fresh, her new office wasn't ready yet. The conference room was free, and she used the space to meet with him.

"Yes," he told her succinctly and stilled, hands in his pockets.

"And you are aware that we only hire people from Harvard, right? Even after the coup that you allege has nothing to do with your timing, that's still a major component of our bylaws." She folded her hands in her lap while she waited to see if he could convince her.

"You and Daniel did just overthrow a whole firm. What's a rule of two?" He shrugged.

"It's more than just a rule, Harvey, it is a brand," she explained while she looked at him knowingly. He knew this much already.

"What brand is that? Carbon copied Harvard douches?" He let the sentiment hang in the air for a beat before he started to settle into closer mode. "You know how you avoid getting the firm stolen out from under you someday? You build something so big that none of the jerkoffs here think they can do better. You make this the best god damn firm in the city."

"And let me guess, we do that by hiring your girlfriend?" She put it out there coolly. Donna was someone she respected, plus Donna owed her a favor. It wouldn't be a bad move in a vacuum, but there was so much more to consider.

"You do that by not being stagnant, not being afraid to push boundaries and think outside of the fucking box. You always say that you see the bigger picture, so picture this firm ten years from now. Do you really think you're going to achieve that by hiring 100 more Paul Porters?" he argued passionately, removing a hand from his pocket and speaking with it.

"Harvey, the bigger picture is about a hell of a lot more than just how many Paul Porters we end up with. I didn't make it to where I am now by not understanding how our clients think. They hear that we only hire from Harvard, and they hear elite, exclusivity, that we only hire the best," she told him firmly.

"If we only hire the best, we'd hire Donna. Come on, Jessica, you know her. You know what she is capable of, and I am not coming here without her," he responded, almost desperately.

"Who said you are coming here at all? You did wait for me to win. Tell me why I should look past that?"

The truth was, she had expected as much. His current boss had dangled a carrot, and even though she knew he would end up here, she thought it would take him some time to think through it. She hadn't anticipated him wanting to bring Donna with him. Even after he told her that they were back together, she didn't give it second thought, maybe because of the bylaws.

"You're going to look past that for the same reason you didn't look past me when I was in the mailroom. You trust me, and you want me on your team. And for the record, I didn't wait for you to win. I didn't even know you fired any shots, let alone the fatal one, until I saw your name on the wall. I was always going to come, though. I just had to sort through some shit first."

When she told him her plan, her winning was inevitable in his mind, but he didn't keep tabs. He certainly wasn't basing his decision on the outcome.

"I do trust you, but I also trust the people who voted for me, and they are already on my team," she replied, with a steely look.

She studied his face for a moment as she pondered his words more, then continued. "Everything," she said while rotating her hand, gesturing in a way meant to acknowledge his baggage, "it's sorted now?"

"It is," he confirmed with a singular nod.

She tilted her head slightly and focused on him a little longer. "Come clean, Harvey. What changed, what made you ready when head litigator was so intriguing?"

"Instead of thinking about what I want to be doing in ten years, I started thinking about who I want to be doing it with. And that's you. And that's Donna," he said straight-forwardly, placing his hands back inside his pockets and softening his tone just a touch.

"And if I can't get Daniel on board? He is the managing partner."

Harvey had done enough to convince her, but it truly wasn't just up to her. She had her ways, and the newness of their partnership might work in her favor, however.

"Huh, I didn't think can't was in your vocabulary. I meant it, though, Jessica. It's the two of us or neither," he replied. The first part was a light taunt meant to challenge her.

"I always knew she was special to you." Though, to her, that was hardly an observation. Anyone from the window washers to a random client likely knew as much, if they had seen them in the same room even just for a second.

"She is, but this benefits the firm too, you know."

It was important to him that she understood that because it would be important to Donna. She didn't like handouts or special favors, at least when it came to work. Favors were like currency in other situations.

"I'll talk to Daniel, but I make no promises. There is one thing I'll need from you if he agrees, though," she warned him slowly.

"Name it."

"If I am going to sell, not only just Daniel, but everyone in this firm on changing the bylaws to hire someone from Yale, it has to be because I am hiring a can't miss associate. I can't have people thinking I am just doing my protégé a favor and hiring his girlfriend," she said directly.

It was probably the biggest hurdle, or what gave her the most pause. She didn't want people to know she paid for Harvey's tuition, but it would get out eventually. Some would call it favoritism, and maybe it was, but if she kept giving him preferential treatment, it would be tough on morale and camaraderie.

"What are you saying?" He wanted to be clear in his understanding.

"I am saying that, at least for a while, you two keep your relationship private. She's not your girlfriend while you're inside these walls. The first decisions you make when you take over are critical. Change can foster strength or weakness, and I'll be damned if I turn everyone against me before I've even really started because they think I am playing favorites for an associate who hasn't even signed a client yet."

She watched him as she unfurled it all, wanting to see his full reaction. It wasn't something she wanted to allow him to bluff his way through, if he didn't think he could abide by that necessity.

"That's fine by me, though at some point, you might have to define what 'for a while' means," he told her. "But Jessica, we do have a kid together. They might think you're playing favorites anyway."

It was something he was okay with, and he thought Donna would be too. With the way things went down at the DA's office, all the rumors and invalidation she had to suffer through, he thought she might appreciate an opportunity to build a reputation for herself without being seen as just Harvey Specter's girlfriend. Addy was the only potential fly in the ointment.

"No offense, Harvey, because I know you are a great dad, but no one who is just meeting you is going to assume that you are one," she told him gently. Fatherhood had made him more pleasant, but he still didn't have a personality that screamed "daddy," at least not with first meetings.

"Eventually," she added, "It can all come out. Once they realize the sky hasn't fallen from hiring outside of Harvard and that Donna is more than deserving. But for now, you two aren't an item." She wagged a finger and held her stare, while waiting for him to confirm his acceptance.

"This sounds an awful lot like you think Hardman will agree," he said, trying not to sound too optimistic.

"I'll call you when it's done," she declared, dismissing him with it too. It shouldn't take long, but it might take a lot to make it happen.