(A/N): Leo and Jerremyah get to know each other.

Trigger Warning: ...uh... brief talk of suicide/suicidal ideation? Not entirely sure how to tag it. It's not really a big thing in this chapter, but once you understand more of what Leo is talking about, some of the things mentioned in this chapter, particularly the very last line, could be somewhat triggering, I think?

Jerremyah

The fact that Leo was curious- not just about tattoos, or even my tattoos, but about me, as a person- was honestly earthshakingly shocking to me. He had pointed out that he didn't know much about me- other than the fact that I was Lisbet's mate, which was, always, my favorite fact about me- and he wanted to know more. He wanted to know more.

And I wanted to know more about him- not just because he was Lisbet's kit, but because I liked him, as a person- so maybe this could work out for both of us.

He had told me that I wasn't just my relationships- which, to begin with, had really set me off, but then... I had forced myself to calm down, take a step back, and evaluate the situation. I had told him, in return, that much the same sentiment could most likely be applied to him. You know- by someone else, not me. Someone who knew him better. Lisbet, maybe, but I knew she would probably never confront him with something like that. Maybe I was wrong for having done it, but I felt he needed to hear it.

He'd told me he would make me a deal, and that he would face his issues with his sense of self when I did- and I realised I had a long journey ahead of me. If confronting my personal issues was all it would take to make him do the same- to help him grow as a person, for me to contribute something- then I had to do it. Who knows, maybe it would make me a better person, as well.

When I had told him that my last name was Yates, he had made a face- almost imperceptible, but there was definitely something there- and as I studied him, I both heard, and felt, something in the way his heart was beating, almost like a blip, or a slight stumble. I couldn't imagine why that might be, though, and he wasn't really giving me any other clues.

"Oh. Good. Um... suits you." I blinked, and rubbed the back of my neck, awkwardly.

"...thanks?" We were both silent for a second.

"So... uh... what's your... favorite color?" Lisbet's eyes in the sun. Her skin bathed in nothing but the moonlight. The blanket on the end of our bed, shared, even though neither of us had to sleep.

"Blue. Dark blue- like a dark, royal blue." Leo nodded slowly, as if he could tell that my thoughts had strayed- maybe he could. I highly doubted that I was being subtle- I wasn't a subtle person in general, and Lisbet had always brought out the opposite in me. "You?" He shrugged, and I had the distinct feeling that he was suffering from much the same thought process, only concerning a certain girl whose name started with 'E', and ended with, 'laine'.

"Green. Which is... unfortunate." Why-? Oh, because of his family? "But I like a light green- a mint, or a seafoam, or... something." Like the shirt he had been wearing, the day I had arrived? "Do you... have any hobbies?" Oh god, did I?

"Um... I work out a lot. Grey's tried to get me into Tai Chi, or certain martial arts, but... they don't really fit my style of movement. I'm not really the... 'slow and measured', type. It's all or nothing, with me- I figure, if I have the strength, why not use it?" His eyebrows furrowed, and I pushed on before he could say anything, as I realised that I hadn't really answered him. "I like keeping my hands busy. Making things. I took up whittling pretty young, I've done some wood carving, but I'm definitely much less practiced with that... I've dabbled in leather working- you know, that sort of thing." He stared at me for a second, looking slightly stunned.

"That's... a lot." I scoffed quietly- softly, because I didn't want to make him feel like... like he was dumb, for saying something like that.

"You should talk to Grey- I swear, every year, he's got a new hobby- or more. Lisbet and I tried doing puzzles together, but... well, let's just say, it didn't go well. The fights weren't worth the end product. I tried gardening, but... I kept losing track of time, and most plants don't survive long without water." He made a face, like he understood that all too well. "What about you? You mentioned you used to play the piano and the violin, anything else?" He flushed slightly, and echoed my earlier movement, rubbing the back of his neck, sheepishly.

"I journal, I guess." Right... he had mentioned both a diary, and a journal, while he and Lisbet had been talking, but I didn't think that that was why he was blushing. "I work out a lot too- but I'm not sure that counts as a hobby, when training is mandatory. I... I like to paint, and draw... I... I guess I like, like... making something, out of nothing." This. This seemed to be what he was embarrassed by, but I didn't know why. Maybe because of what he had told me about his mother disparaging artists?

"Is that still what you want to be?" He blinked. "You said you wanted to be a Painter when you were younger- is that still true?" His flush got darker, and his eyes dropped for a second, before he seemed to force them back to me.

"I'm surprised you remembered that." I shrugged lightly, trying to appear at least somewhat casual.

"Yeah, well... it seemed important." And I tried to memorize every new thing I learned about him, so it was all important to me. He seemed to study me for a second, and I hoped he couldn't read that thought on my face.

"I... I'm not sure what I want to be. I'm not sure it matters." I felt my eyebrows furrow.

"Why not?" He winced, and hesitated- which I really didn't like the look of.

"Because- because I'm not- look, it's a long story." He was clearly avoiding the subject, and I wasn't sure whether this was something I should push him on.

"Are you sure?" Are you sure it's a long story? Are you sure you want to hide it from me? Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? He hesitated, once again.

"I- my future is... uncertain. I had a lot of trouble picking what OWL classes I wanted to take, because I wasn't sure... where I was going to end up." I had a feeling there was more to it than that. "Lily forced me to take Ancient Runes, because a lot of the official, Ministry type jobs, value it really highly, but other than that, I just took classes I thought I would enjoy." I did my best to pretend that I didn't notice that he had just revealed another one of his friend's name's to me. I shrugged.

"That's how I picked all of my classes. Then again, I wanted to an armourer, so, my choices weren't all that impactful, in that regard." His eyebrows furrowed, and I thought that it might be because I had said that my choices weren't impactful, before he started to speak.

"I more meant because of the change- the fact that I could just stop aging, when I turned sixteen. Or, well, age much more slowly, until I eventually stopped aging- like Herc." Oh, so that's how that worked?

"So you'd basically be like a regular vampire, then." I wonder how Lisbet- He flinched, and I hesitated, reconsidering my view on things. "And that's... not good?" I tried, and he shook his head.

"No," He said quietly. "It's not good. I can't- I can't be a vampire. Not- not like that. Not a full- I can't be immortal." It was almost like I could see Nicholai leaning over his shoulder, it sounded so much like something he would say.

"...can I ask why?" He winced, and I continued. "What's so different between being a mortal vampire, and an immortal one, that the thought upsets you so much?" He was quiet for a minute, clearly trying to think it through.

"I don't think there's any way for me to put it into words, but... I almost feel like... I'm not meant to be immortal. It feels like- and I have to preface this by saying that I don't think this applies to anyone else, full vampire, or immortal half-vampire- but... it feels like I would lose a part of myself, if I did become immortal. A part I can't afford to lose. A part I'm destined to have, if that makes sense." It... not really. Not this situation, but... maybe the feeling that something was missing- that you weren't the way you were supposed to be. Maybe I should try to get in touch with Khaldun- maybe he would have some insight that might ease Leo's mind a little.

"But what if... what if you are meant to become immortal? And even if you're not meant to, what if you do?" He grimaced, and crossed his arms over his chest, like he was bracing himself- then, he said something that made my blood turn cold.

"Then I take matters into my own hands."

(A/N): Leo: 'What's your favorite color?'

Jerremyah: *heart eyes, wistful sigh*

Jerremyah: 'Lisbet's eyes in the sun. Her skin bathed in nothing but the moonlight. The blanket on the end of our bed, shared, even though neither of us has to sleep.'

Jerremyah: 'Oh, uh- Blue! It's blue! You?'

Leo: *heart eyes, wistful sigh*

Leo: 'Elaine's eyes staring up at me full of love, their brown, with flecks of green. Candlelight reflecting off of her curls. The exact shade of her lips, after she snogs me senseless.'

Leo: '...green.'

also

Lisbet: 'Where the FUCK is the duck's head? I swear to god, I will BURN this house to the ground!'

Jerremyah: 'Do it then, I don't care! Let it burn, you can borrow my lighter!'

So, the name of this chapter is a reference to the Celine Dion song, 'The Colour of My Love', and various vampires attempting Tai Chi (Grey trying to get Jerremyah into it) is sort of a reference to Angel (also a vampire), from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, doing Tai Chi.

Also, I read somewhere that all of the Ministry type jobs required everything to be written in Ancient Runes, but I'm like 99.99% sure that's not true, and I can't find it again, but that's a thing that influenced my decision to have most of the school aged characters take Ancient Runes. I also saw a thing (not canon, at all) that said as an option to give it some sort of practical application- instead of just being a dead language that they studied, that might be useful if you run into a lot of centuries old spells- is that the runes might be used to be able to enchant specific things, or create stronger wards, or things like that. Basically, it's just a different manner of making and casting magic, that might be a useful if the regular kind of spell fails. If someone tries to disable your wards, they might be able to take out all your spells, but if they don't know Ancient Runes... they might have some extra trouble. I don't know, I just wanted it to be more than a useless language course.

By the way, yes, I have all of the school aged characters lessons picked out, as well as the scores they end up getting, for both their OWL's and NEWT's. I realised when I came back after the five year break (so, after the start of fifth year), that I had never mentioned them picking classes in third year. They did do that, I'm just dumb.