Chapter 14
Marvel Universe – 616161
New York, Manhattan – Crater of Fisk Tower
Miles felt grim chills run along his body as he wandered what remained of Fisk Tower's basement. His eyes constantly darting across the site of his greatest failure, desperately seeking any sign of life, more specifically, any sign of Peter's life.
The spike of anti-matter that prompted the arrival of Mr. Fantastic, Spider-Man, and a hurriedly recruited Thing, was actually the sudden appearance of a, battered and crumpled, taxi-cab laying on its roof.
After adjusting his scanner however, Reed found other spikes in the area. In fact, according to Reed's scan, the thing that brought the cab to this reality had only been present for a moment, long enough for the car to fall out, before disappearing again, reappearing somewhere else, disappearing, reappearing yet another place, and so on and so forth, like flickering lights.
Every now and then, more objects began falling into the space from the tiny voids around the room as they appeared and disappeared over and over, a trash can, half a lamppost, a manhole cover, even an ATM machine. Why do people say ATM machine? The M stands for machine… Miles thought to himself as he hopped out of the way of the falling ATM.
Reed snaked his elastic body around the basement, avoiding the falling debris, as he used a small square device in his hand to scan for excesses of anti-matter on the objects falling from the sky. Squinting curiously as his lips curled in perplexed fascination at the seeming non-existence of whatever was causing all of the random objects to be displaced into the basement.
A flash of what could only be described as the void of all things, danced in the air as Reed's scanner began beeping violently. Miles immediately felt his head thrum in agony at the sight of complete nothing as his eyes were drawn to its presence, his un-remembered, yet entirely real, experience within it beginning to overwhelm his sanity as his spider-sense screeched at him desperately trying to keep him harnessed to reality.
Reed pulled himself closer to the void before it closed suddenly, an eruption akin to a tiny implosion taking the place of the speck of nothing, as all the atoms that had been missing from reality suddenly returned to their positions with a tiny cosmic 'Pop!'
Before Reed could mutter a complaint, the void returned, larger this time. It held its position in the middle of the former collider for a moment longer than before, long enough for something else to fall out of it and land unceremoniously to the floor.
This something was alive however, as was evident by the grunt of pain from the figure.
"Errr… Is that a guy dressed as a cow?" Ben Grimm whispered to Spider-Man beside him.
A humanoid figure lay slumped on the floor, they appeared to be naked, their skin was jet white and dotted with small black spots. They rubbed their head before groaning and bringing themselves to their feet, facing away from the group of heroes. Spider-Man turned to Reed with confusion who simply seemed to be eying the figure with fascination.
"Aha! I did it! I'm finally back! Woohoo… go me! Really didn't think I had it in me. We're the best, aren't we, me? Oh yes, we are! Yes, we are! I am a fucking God!" The stranger called out as they raised their hands in the air in celebration.
Reed Richards cleared his throat to alert the strange man to their presence.
The figure tensed and slowly turned to face the group, as much as one could face anyone when they didn't possess a face, all of the heroes standing on guard ready to act if they took any threatening actions.
Oh – *Ehem* -Hello…?" Johnathan Ohnn spoke as he dusted himself off and waved politely to the group before his voice became immediately colder upon registering Spider-Man's presence, "Oh, it's you!"
It was him. The one who caused all of this, that made him into this. His nemesis.
"Um… yup. It's me… hi." Spider-Man replied with confusion as he waved back.
"You're the one who did this to me! You and the other Spider-Man. You made me!" The white skinned man spoke.
"Spider-Man, you made this guy?" The thing asked as he turned to look at Miles.
"Wha-? No! I have no idea who this guy is! He literally just fell from the sky! He- he's talking crazy!"
The figure chuckled darkly with barely contained frustration as he replied, "Crazy, am I?! You threw a bagel at me! How's that for crazy?"
"You threw… a bagel at 'im? And turned 'im into this?" The Thing asked still very confused about the whole situation he had been dragged into.
"What? No! What is even happening right now…? And hey, you throw cars at people. That's a lot worse than a bagel…"
"So, you do remember!" The figure pointed with an accusing finger.
"I mean… no… Sorry dude, I throw a lot of different foods at a lot of different people… could ya maybe narrow it down, what kind of bagel? Was it plain? Seeded?"
Reed finally interjected, shaking his head trying to ignore Miles' teenage ramblings, "Sorry, sir… We have no idea who you are. But we can help… can you tell us your name?"
"Of course you're here too, Richards… You sanctimonious son of a bi—" He took in a breath and calmed his tone, "My name is Dr Johnathan Ohnn." He turned to Spider-Man with speed as he spoke with scorn, "Ring any bells?"
"Wait… you? You're the dude who helped build the collider! I thought you were dead… I'm so glad you survived! This means that Spider-Ma-" Miles was cut off by Dr Ohnn.
"You're 'glad I survived'? Well, I guess that makes one of us! Look at me! You left me for dead and I became this. I'm a freak! Some kind of… of- of… Thing!"
"Hey-oh! Cool it with the freak talk, pal… Some of us freaks have feelings… Sides' Thing's taken. Look guy, this might seem bad now, but ya can work through this, have a life… a good one! Trust me..." Ben Grimm added with mild offense.
"Yes, Dr Ohnn… There is no need to give up on yourself so easily. We can help you if you let us… We can work together to put this right. If I recall some of your work on the uses of anti-matter was rather… well I hesitate to say brilliant, but it had potential, Johnathan! With my help we can find a way to fix this."
"That's Dr Ohnn to you, Richards…" He spat with disgust before muttering, "Potential… You really don't remember do you?"
"If you wish, Dr Ohnn…" Reed corrected, "But forgive me, I remember lots of things, you're going to have to be more specific." Reed said as he placed his anti-matter detector back in its pouch, seeing no need for it anymore.
"I came to you once… Years ago. I wanted to work for you. You didn't even look at me, you just kept your head down in your stethoscope and said you'd already read my work… my life's work! You remember what you said?"
"I-I don't remember… I'm sorry." Reed replied, slightly sheepishly.
"Of course you don't. You clearly had more important things to be worrying about! You don't care for anyone but yourself… you said my work was 'derivative and uninspired' and then you had your fancy little robot escort me out… Years of commitment just for Mr Fantastic to not even look me in the eye as he spat in my face!"
"I-I apologise. I had no idea. Though, if I called it derivative, it most likely was deriva—" Ben put his hand on Reed's shoulder and shook his head to stop him talking.
Johnathan ignored the statement as he began pacing, "A freak accident turns you into an elasticated superstar, like some kind of stretchy, science-y Indiana Jones,and it turns me into… this! And you can't even remember the day you turned me away… You're the reason I ended up working for Fisk in the first place!" He said pointing at Reed, "And you," he pointed to Miles, "if you had been able to do your job as Spider-Man better, I wouldn't have been torn to shreds and put back together over and over by a wave of anti-matter!"
"Hey! I tried my best, man… And if we're playing the blame game, you'rethe one who helped build the collider in the first place. That wave was kinda' on you." Miles sighed in frustration before composing himself, "Come on, man. We can work together, fix your body and find Spi—"
"Save it! I don't want your help. Any of you… I'm going to figure this out on my own!" Johnathan turned away and become walking away from the group.
"Dr Ohnn wait, we can't just let you…" Reed stretched his arm and tried to grab Dr Ohnn's shoulder, "leave…" he paused as his arm was suddenly halted and seemed to disappear into the black spot black spot on the other man's shoulder blade, "Fascinating…"
"Woah!" Miles leant back in response to his spider-sense as a black portal manifested itself next to his head and Reed Richard's outstretched arm shot past him, inches from his face.
Dr Ohnn paused and turned back at the sounds of curiosity from Mr Fantastic and Spider-Man, he spied the arm over his shoulder, widening what would be his eyes as it he saw it had disappeared into his black spot, the other end of it seeming to be displaced, jutting out of a similar spot suspended in the air several feet away. Spider-Man fixing his gaze on the arm in front of his face and eyeing with curiosity behind his mask.
Dr Ohnn watched with wonder and let out an excited exclamation of fascination as all four of the basement's occupants stared at Reed's arm as he wiggled it, confirming it had indeed been repositioned through space.
"Truly fascinating…" Reed said as pulled the scanner closer with his other arm and began studying his limb and the portal it was travelling through, continue to scan as he pulled his arm back out of the hole in space and back to it side, the black spot of nothing ceasing to be as soon as the matter was removed from it.
"Good, god! My holes, they aren't a curse, there a gift!" Dr Ohnn called with excitement.
"Eugh… Pal, never say those words in that order again. Givin' me all kinda' images I don't want in my head…" Ben Grimm added as he cringed slightly.
Dr Ohnn ignored the sentence as he continued poking his fingers into different black spots across his body, his fingers poking out of portals across the basement, more or less where he envisioned to put them, "My holes! There the answer, the power of my holes is mine to control! Look, look! Wherever I want, hole there… finger there!" he cried with glee as he continued prodding across the spots of his body.
"Ew… Please stop calling them that, dude!" Spider-Man shuddered as he shivered with disgust at Dr Ohnn's over excitement about his 'holes'.
Dr Ohnn continued to ignore the protestations as he prodded himself, "Ow!" he called as he misplaced one of his portals and accidentally poked himself where his eye would be, "Obviously I need a bit of practice."
"Yeah, workshop the name while ya at it…" The Thing added.
"This is… wow. Dr Ohnn the potential of your… portals… is phenomenal. We need to study this further…"
Dr Ohnn felt himself shudder with hate at the word 'potential' from Reed Richards lips, his excitement suddenly replaced with a reminder of his loathing for both Mr Fantastic and Spider-Man. He watched with disgust as Reed continued to stare at the monitor of his handheld device, once again ignoring the man behind the brilliance. Ignoring him.
A spark of an idea came through his mind as he stared down to his chest, he pushed his own arm into the large black spot on his sternum, his had came out of another portal, exactly where he thought to place it. In a desperate grab he snatched the scanner from Reed Richards and pulled it back through his chest until he was standing, reading the display.
"No. I need to study this further… I have no quarrel with you, Thing, but you two… I don't want to fight either of you, but I will if you try to stop me." He stared between Reed and Spider-Man, "This is your only warning. Don't get in my way, or I'll unleash the full power of my hol—"
"You finish that sentence doc, and we're gonna' have a quarrel." Ben Grimm interrupted, there was a subdued giggle from behind Spider-Man's mask as he pushed his hand to his mouth to stifle it.
Johnathan sighed with slight resignation, clearly none of them took him seriously, but he swore at that very moment, they would. He continued, thinking of another term for his 'holes', "My spots… From this point on, I never want to see you again. Any of you!"
"We can't just let you leave Dr Ohnn… Please don't make this difficult." Reed said with a diplomatic air, his eyes casting between Johnathan's face and his stolen scanner.
"Like you made my life difficult? Do you have any idea what it was like having to work for a man like Fisk?" As his temper rose his sheet white skin began to redden as his voice reached unheard volumes of rage.
"I mean… you coulda' like… I don't know, got a job somewhere else. No one made you work for the Kingpin. Was Tony Stark not hiring or something?" Spider-Man added.
"What are you, twelve? You prance around in your pajamas all day and think you've it all figured out… I bet you haven't even had a job!"
"Hey, I've had a job… kinda'…" Miles replied automatically, he did volunteer a F.E.A.S.T. after all. That's basically a job, right?
Dr Ohnn ignored Spider- Man's reply as he continued rambling, "I've had it with you 'heroes'… You don't care about people like me, you just go after your own glory! Your own power… Well now I have power," the space around them began to ripple as Dr Ohnn's voice grew louder, the ripples and shudders of the room echoing his voice until it took on an almost ethereal nature, as if every particle of the basement was a tiny speaker for his hate fuelled monologue, "and I'm not gonna' stand by and let anyone boss me around again. Not Doc Ock, not Fisk, and certainly not either of you!"
He pressed his hands together before slowly pulling them apart, his fingers digging violently into the air itself as he tore apart the fabric of reality and created a dartboard sized black spot of pure nothing. When he had finished, he stared at it with slight bewilderment at his own power before staring back to the now tense trio opposite him, he snarled before clapping his hands together, causing the rift in reality to close suddenly and explode into several smaller spots that dotted themselves about the space.
He punched one of the spots in his stomach and saw as his fist sprang out the other portal across the room next to Spider-Man's head. The hero felt a warning from his spider-sense and caught the fist before it connected, only to find a second white fist hit his jaw from below as Dr Ohnn punched another spot on his body.
Reed Richards looked on with frustration as Spider-Man continued to dodge, block, catch and weave out of the way of several limbs that were punching and kicking him from several portals around him, he sighed before turning to Ben, "Well, you were right, Ben. It nearly always ends in a fight…"
"Hey, I ain't happy about it either… I didn't actually wanna' clobber this guy, feel kinda' bad for him…" The Thing replied as he smack his fist into his palm half-heartedly and began moving to charge at Dr Ohnn, "Well, guess I gotta' knock some sense into 'im."
Before Ben could close the distance, Dr Ohnn noticed his movement and summoned his spots back to his body, "I don't want to hurt you Mr Grimm, but you leave me no choice… Behold the power of my holes!" He called as he began drawing black strands of energy from the spots around him, charging his body as he began levitating.
"I don't wanna' behold any of your holes, doc." Thing replied as he shook his head in disbelief at the sentence he just said.
"Look at me, Richards! You ruined my life, and now I will kill your best friend in front of you! Then you will respect me! You'll have to! You won't be able to ignore me again!" He dropped back to the ground and began charging towards The Thing, still drawing strands of energy from the spots around him, his voice growing deeper, darker, more present, filling the very atmosphere of the room, "All of you! Look. At. ME!"
All of a sudden, as he charged, he misplaced a large spot on the ground and stepped directly into it, falling forward with a high-pitched squeal as he felt his own foot appear behind him and connect with his own backside.
He fell forward onto the floor before looking up at The Thing and turning to Spider-Man and Reed Richards as another portal opened beneath him, "No, not again!" He cried as he desperately tried to hold on to the ground as he felt himself being sucked into his own portal, "Spider-Man, Richards! You listen to me, I will finish you, consider me your nemesi—Aahh!" As he violently disappeared into the portal, it closed shut, and all of the other spots around the room began to dissipate.
"Err… Da' hell just happened?" The Thing asked as he rubbed his head in confusion.
"I—I guess he kicked his own butt… So, now what do we do?" Miles spoke as he turned to Reed Richards who was staring at the space Dr Ohnn used to be, completely dumbfounded.
"I don't actually know… He took the scanner; we have no way of finding him now. His energy was different to the items he brought here… Without the data from my device… he could be anywhere, and I'd have no idea how to find him."
"No idea? Like at all?"
"Well, I could maybe try and build a new scanner based on the readings I saw, I remember some of them… but it's a long shot. I was skim-reading… He kept talking about his holes. It was… distracting."
"But Reed. He survived! That means Spider-Man had to as well!"
"Hmm… Maybe… I- I can't fully count it out now… this still isn't a guarantee, Spider-Man. I need you to realise that. For your own sake. But yes. Theoretically,Peter may still be alive somewhere…" There was a tinge of darkness in his voice, a thought he didn't want to entertain in case he was wrong, if Peter was alive, could Johnny—He stopped the thought before it fully manifested, it was not an idea to dawdle on right now.
"So, what can I help with…?"
"For now, you can help by going home… Get some rest, Spider-Man. It's been a long day… for all of us. We," he gestured to himself and Ben, "still need to visit May, Sue's probably wondering where we are, it's getting late, and we wanted to take the kids with us… they had a soft spot for Peter… But after that, I'll get thinking on our next steps and keep you informed."
"You're still talking about him like he's dead…"
"Spider-Man…" He looked about to see if anyone was around, "Miles… I'm glad you have hope, and we have a starting point now, but hope doesn't always win. Sometimes, bad things just happen. If Peter's out there, then Dr Ohnn is our new lead, but forgive me if I try to stay pragmatic about this, there's no promise I'll even be able to find him in time, let alone Peter. And… I don't want to put Sue or the kids through any more pain if I can help it…"
DC Universe – Prime Earth
Metropolis, Project Cadmus' Secret Underground Facility
"Our Trojan Horse has been uploaded to the Watchtower's system?" Amanda Waller asked the still blank faced and docile clone of Power Girl in front of her.
"Yes. It awaits your activation…" Galatea's voice was stiff, emotionless, doll-like. As if every word was prerecorded and being played back to her superiors. There was no thought behind her words, only processes of request and response.
Amanda grunted in affirmation as she sipped at her mug off coffee before continuing, "And they don't suspect anything? Either of you or on the computers…?"
"I coded the program myself Ms. Waller, I have made sure its machinations are well encrypted—" Octavius rose on his tentacles as he wandered around his 'daughter' inspecting her with a clinical eye, looking out for any external signs of damage.
"I didn't ask you Otto… I asked it."
"Galatea is not an it. She is my Magnum Opus—"
"Silence Octavius… Dead men don't have the privilege of questioning their employers… Unless you would like us to rectify your status…? Or better yet, have your body match our records."Waller's voice was stiff and controlled, professional even, but the poison underneath was as pungent as her coffee-stained breath. She held little more than disdain for Otto Octavius, even despite his many uses.
Otto simply pulled a snarl before retreating into himself, physically descending from his elevated position from his mechanical legs in attempt to physically distance himself from the source of his aggravation; lest he kill Waller himself and destroy his and Luthor's cover.
"Project Galatea is property of Cadmus; I will refer to it as I please…" She turned back to the clone, "Answer the question."
"No suspicions have been raised. As of now, the program is secure."
"Hmmm… Good. Make sure it stays that way…" She finished her drink and handed her mug to Luthor who rolled his eyes with contempt before placing it on the table next to him, "I have to return to Belle Reve… Complete your diagnostic checks on the clone and send me your report, Octavius."
"As you say… Ma'am." Otto did little to hide the disgust in his tone as he stared daggers at Waller.
Amanda Waller simply grunted in confirmation before turning and leaving the lab with her armed guards.
After she had left the lab, Luthor and Octavius shared a look before nodding to the guard watching over them from the observation. In turn, the security guard pressed a button which caused the lights of the lab to flash in a purposeful sequence, signifying that she would indeed cover their tracks and warn them of any issues. The disgruntled Cadmus security guard remained firmly in the Light's pocket.
Otto led Galatea who docilely followed further into the lab before sitting herself on singular the bed next to another, on which lie her adopted clone 'brother', a blond man with the potential for pyrokinesis.
Otto glanced at the second bed where 'Project Storm' lay in his comatose state, he was not yet ready for deployment, but Otto's excitement for Spider-Man's reaction to his inevitable reveal cooed softly in his mind as he smiled with evil intent.
There were still teething issues such as a lack of any progress on the transferral of memories, Project Storm's 'donor' being incessantly resistant to the process every time they attempted the transfer, even while unconscious.
Johnny Storm's attachment to Peter Parker seeming to disrupt the process every attempt, a steadfast refusal to aid in anything that would cause him harm was so engrained it reached the Human Torch's very subconscious. No matter, Octavius would soon break him.
Otto withdrew from his impatience and turned away from Project Storm, attaching several nodes across Galatea's body with his cold metal claws as he did so. He began his diagnostic check of her biological status.
Luthor followed as he asked, "Following Waller's instructions without even a word of contempt… Why Otto, I'm concerned for you. Are you coming down with a cold?" he spoke with cadent mocking.
"Words do no justice to my contempt for that woman, Luthor. Nevertheless, Galatea's diagnosis is a necessity. Ensuring our creation's longevity is of paramount concern."
"And is there? Concern, I mean."
"No cellular degradation as of yet… Our daughter is as healthy as could be hoped."
"I do wish you would stop calling her that, Otto. While I am humbled you would share the credit for this marvellous creation, your choice of wording leaves much to be desired."
"Do not flatter yourself Luthor, I have no plans for a shotgun wedding between us…" Otto smirked back with a disgusting cracked smile, his attempt at humour falling flat as Luthor curled his lip in cringed disgust, "Besides, Octavius does not share credit where it is not deserved. Were it not for your expertise on Kryptonian physiology, Galatea's creation would've been beyond even my genius…"
Luthor shuddered away the mental image Otto had placed in his mind of 'shotgun weddings' between them, before he spoke again, "And I appreciate your acknowledgement of my aid… but it was you who was able to stabilise her without using human DNA and halting her potential." Lex's voice lost all hint of charisma as he fixed his gaze and spoke coldly, "But what myself and the Light do not appreciate is your use of Galatea for your own personal vendettas."
Otto turned to face him with shock and indignance "I have no idea what—"
Lex cut him off "Silence, Otto. Did you think we would not notice your meddling? We saw Galatea's involvement with Spider-Man and his sister… What was your goal? To sow seeds of distrust between him and his newfound 'family'? Your obsession with him could jeopardise everything we have built here… Do you know how much work it took me to convince Amanda Waller to kidnap a Justice Leaguer? A Kryptonian no less!"
"There is no sign that Galatea's actions would compromise—" Lex silenced Otto with a glare. Otto's reaction palpable as his face recoiled in despicable rage and fear, Octavius resented the power Luthor held over him.
Luthor continued, his voice cruel, "Must I remind you that the very reason we ensured Galatea's nature as a sleeper agent was so the League would not notice? No one can know she isn't the real Karen Starr, not even her. Bringing a civilian into a crime scene is not the behaviour of a Justice Leaguer. Galatea serves the Light's purpose, not yours, Spider-Man's arrival in this world does not change that."
Otto spat back an attempt of damage control, "I merely asked her to interact with them and to persuade antagonism between them. I had no idea she would approach the issue as she did."
"But she did. And your underhanded techniques will have consequences. Batman and the others will reprimand her for such reckless behaviour. And should they ask her why she did what she did, she will have no answer because you planted the seed of those actions. We don't even know if your pathetic display had any success, as far as Galatea knows, she is Power Girl! She may have already apologised and made your attempts at emotional torture moot…"
Otto looked to the floor as he growled, Luthor did make a good point, while not under their direct command Galatea would still act, more or less, as Karen Starr would. It was by design.
Luthor continued, "Do not forget your place here. You serve our goals, not the other way around! Try anything similar again and I will personally remove you from the equation."
Otto simply chuckled in defiance at the suggestion Luthor would be capable of 'removing' him.
"Perseus." Luthor's voice cut through the air and Otto lost all sense of arrogance as he felt his legs shut down and he crashed to the floor in a pile atop his, now disabled, mechanical tentacles.
"I—How did you?" Otto snarled in anger and confusion as he struggled against his tentacles, he realised with horror, they were not simply deactivated, they were holding him down.
"Do not forget it was I that found you when you were banished to this world. It was I that helped you repair your arms… Did you think I would not insure my investment? You are not the only one capable of creating deeply encrypted Trojan Horse programs… Plans within plans Otto, that is your game, and you are a master of it, I admit. But you forget that in this world Lex Luthor and the Light have been playing far longer than you."
Luthor walked over to Octavius as he continued struggling against his arms that kept him fastened to floor, looking down at him with disrespectful scorn, "This is your final warning 'Doc Ock'… Do not attempt to play us for fools or you will find that there are far worse fates than death…"
DC Universe – Prime Earth
Gotham City – A Day Later
"Ah…" Peter called whimsically as he swung about the city, "Can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually missed fighting Black Mask's gang of hoodlums… They're so easy. Plus, the things they say, 'kill the bug!', 'squash 'im!', 'what even is this white stuff?' … It cracks me up…" He landed on a roof as he realised the time and that his patrol should come to an end after a successful night of stopping the regular nightly criminal activities, and finishing his mission from Batman.
Disappointingly, his rogue's hadn't shown their faces like he hoped, but stopping a few debt collections by the False Face Society still put enough of a dent in Black Mask's power grab for Peter to be mostly happy with himself.
Though once again he felt the guilt born of uncertainty as he was still unable to find the kid named Eddy that he met on his first night in Gotham… Oracle's search also running into nothing but dead ends without a last name or clear description besides 'potentially homeless, malnourished, dark-skinned teen'. Unfortunately, that was far too common of a description in the rougher ends of Gotham. Or any city for that matter.
"Yeah… They're something alright." Oracle spoke in his ear with a half-heated response to Peter's ramblings.
"Plus, did you see that last guy's face? I mean he was wearing a mask… But still! I bet it was hilarious…" Peter was running on fumes with his quips after spending most of his better material on the criminals of Gotham.
He heard no response from Barbara on his comms, so he tapped his ear slightly as he spoke, "Uh, Oracle? Hello… you there?"
"Huh? What? Oh… I didn't realise you were talking to me specifically; thought you were just… Rambling to yourself." her voice was distant, soft, shameful.
"Ehhh… I mean I was a little bit. But I have so much experience rambling to myself I was kinda' hoping for a bit more back and forth… I mean I'm cool with you deciding to stay out of costume tonight, but still thought you'd be more like your talkative self… you've been… off all night tonight, you good?"
Barbara sighed into his ear, the comms growing slightly static from the exhalation of breath as it tried its hardest to pick up the minute, audible gesture, "is it that obvious?
"Yeah… Why do you think I've been using some of my best material? They aren't just for me! I mean they're mostly for me, but I was hoping they might cheer you up too."
"Calling out 'guywithwebonhismouthsayswhat?' while you web a guys face is your BEST material?" She slightly chuckled beneath heavy breaths of depressed dreariness.
"Meowww…I didn't realise I had Catwoman on the line…"
Barbara genuinely chuckled at that, though it was still subdued, "Shut up… Sorry, my heart's not really been in it tonight… might pack it in soon. You done?"
"No stress… We all have off-nights… Yeah, was just about to head on home too…"
"You not coming back here first? Thought you wanted to workshop some new gear?"
"Eh, I can do that tomorrow… Besides, I don't wanna' impose. You get some rest."
"It's not an imposition… also, I think I could do with some company for a bit…"
"You sure?"
"Yeah. Come on back, I'll open the top window for you."
"Okay, I'll swing by. Wanted to get started on a plan for a new suit anyway…"
Barbara breathed in and out deeply as she shook her head at Peter's use of the now infamous, 'swing by' line before registering the rest of his sentence and asking, "Wait, new suit? What's wrong with your current new suit?"
"Oh nothing… Just not really my style…" Peter said as he inspected his costume while he swung, "I liked Terri's suggestion, but hoods just aren't my thing you know."
"Yeah… Didn't want to say anything in case you were sold on it, but I agree. Plus, some of the news outlets have been confusing you for Red Hood… I don't really think that matches up with your 'friendly neighborhood' gimmick."
"Oof… Yeah, I can see how that confusion could bite me in the ass… You heard much from the ever elusive 'Red Hood'?"
Barbara sighed as she pulled up the last know sighting of the former Robin on her third screen, thankfully it was recent, but he had still ignored all attempts at contact from both herself and the rest of the family, "No… He's gone pretty much no contact for about a month now, before you were even here… Him and Bruce had a bit of a… disagreement last time he was around."
"Wow, Bats getting into a 'disagreement' with someone? Color me surprised… Family, eh… what can ya' do? Though, I'm kinda' bummed I've still not met him, since yano, I'm basically part of the gang now…"
"Yeah… what can you do?" Barbara found herself thinking about her own brother and the awful things he had done before she put him away herself before pushing the thought aside and responding to Peter's second statement, "you know… I'd actually pay to see that meeting. I'd be surprised if he doesn't shoot you within the first five minutes."
"What? I'm not that annoying, am I?"
Peter heard no response, unaware that Barbara had disconnected from the computer in response, chuckling to herself at her imaginings of Peter's realisation.
Peter tapped his earpiece again and wobbled slightly on his line before readjusting and shooting another webline to swing from, "Hellooo? Oracle… Oy vey… I bet she thinks she's hilarious." Stop talking to yourself, Pete. "Shut up me!"
Peter felt a bristle of amusement from his subconscious as the Other seemed to be enjoying the moment as well, "Don't you start… I bet you're loving watching me embarrass myself."
Peter felt a brush of guilty protestation in response, "I'm just kidding buddy, I love ya' really." Peter realised he had come to care for the Slimbiote in his own way and smiled warily beneath his mask, still unsure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Another brush of comforting reassurance and cautious optimism tickled his subconscious, "Alright! I'm sure it's a good thing. God can't even be alone with my own thoughts… Aw come on, don't be like that! I was joking! Hey… Other? Buddy… I'm sorry dude, I didn't mean anything by it—"
On the streets below several civilians were looking above them in confusion and concern as they saw the figure of Spider-Man above as he continued to speak allowed to seemingly no one.
"Mommy, why is Red Hood talking to himself?" A young girl asked as she looked up to the parent who was holding her hand as they travelled from a few feet from their car to their home.
"Get inside honey, the crazies are out tonight!" Her mother responded with overwhelming concern as she rushed herself and her daughter through the front door.
After a couple more minutes of swinging, and mutterings of apologies to the Slimbiote inside him, Peter soon arrived at the Clocktower. Crawling to the top window that Barbara had left ajar for him. After opening it further, he crawled through used his adhesion to close it softly behind him as he dropped down onto the top steel balcony inside.
"Honey, I'm home…!" He called out with a cheery inflection.
Barbara didn't turn to face him she was still sat at her computer at her messy workspace below him, she finished up her conversation with whoever was on the other end, most likely Steph based on her tone, before pushing her office chair back from the desk and gliding backwards on it before spinning the chair and looking up to Peter, "Wow, that joke's even funnier the third time!" She called to him with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes with a smirk.
"Third times the charm!"
"Charm is one way to put it… Yano, If I knew you were gonna' say that every time you stopped by, I'd have locked the window."
"And yet, your window was noticeable unlocked when I came by… In fact, I'd argue, open is the opposite of locked." Peter pulled a sly grin as he leapt down to her floor and stood facing her, removing his mask and pulling down his hood in the process.
"It was ajar…" She replied.
"No… pretty sure it was a window."
She simply sighed with a soft smile as she let out a quiet snort and pulled herself out of her chair, stretching and yawning softly before looking back at Peter.
"So, what's the haps, Babs?"
"The haps are, I need some fresh air, I'll be out on the ledge if you need me…"
"Cool, cool. I'm just gonna' draw up some plans tonight, not in the mood to sew… I might join you after though?"
"Sure thing."
He turned away from her as she walked past him and made his way to his workspace, bits and bobs were laid all over the large desk. Incomplete gadgets and drawn up plans for later projects strewn across its surface. He cleared the area and pulled up a chair before picking up his sketchbook and flicking it open to blank page.
Designing a new suit was always something Peter enjoyed, he was pretty gifted at it and doodling was always a peaceful activity for him. He tapped the end of the pen on his chin a few times as he began thinking about his next Gotham suitable costume.
He'd ditch the hood but keep the black and red colour scheme, he'd already decided that. The next step to his approach would be to decide everything else, he started drawing without thinking, letting his pencils and pens move his hands for him. After a few scribbles and scrapped plans, he settled on a final choice and drew it out.
The webbing design would be back, the red would be deeper and the costume as a whole would be more similar to his classic suit albeit with some tweaks. Black in place of blue and white carbon-fibre reinforcements on his gauntlet and feet as well as a larger white, also carbon-fibre, spider with pointed limbs on his front and back.
He would also segment the design a bit more so the red of his arms would be separated from his chest slightly, for no practical reason other than he liked the style. His 'belt' would also be segmented and end on either side of his chest section which would extend down to just above his waist.
From a practical standpoint he also planned to add something he'd attempted a couple times in the past but never got around to actually working, web wings. He'd had them as part of his design before, but they never actually functioned, they were only cosmetic.
Truth be told; however, he had actually gotten jealous a couple times when seeing the original Spider-Woman gliding around in her costume a few times, admittedly she had a bit of a boost from her bioelectricity that allowed her to glide on air currents, but still, it would be helpful to have another form of traversal that could work in tandem with his swinging. Also, it looked really fun.
He didn't want these web wings to be visible all the time however and needed to think of a way to have them retract and return to the interior of his suit when he didn't need them. He figured asking Bruce might be a safe bet as, when browsing the bat-computer for ideas for gadgets, Peter had found specs for a prototype of a cape-less Batsuit (labelled: Beyond) which had a similar ideas for an in-built wing suit which could retract. Peter could probably work it out on his own, but having another pair of eyes would speed up the process and might help Bruce get around to his own 'Beyond' suit at the same time.
All in all, Peter only spent about thirty or so minutes on the new suit design before casually throwing his sketchbook down and stretching. I haven't heard Babs come in, is she still out there?
He got up and made his way to the window which Babs had climbed through, picking up her coat on the way as she had obviously left it behind. The window was still partly open, and he softly opened it further before climbing out and onto the ledge.
The wind was cool but calm, nevertheless it was still pretty freezing out in the open air, he couldn't see her on this side of the building and assumed she would have mostly likely gone to front of the building where the light of the giant clock would obscure most of the ledge in shadow.
He was correct, as he walked around the ledge to the front he spotted her. She was sat next to a large stone gargoyle, holding her arms to warm herself as her legs were huddled to her chest.
Peter wandered towards her until he was right next to her, dangling the coat next to her head. She flinched slightly, clearly made jump by Peter's appearance next to her. She sighed with a light smile and rolled her eyes in disappointment in herself for being so unaware of her surroundings before looking up at Peter and taking the coat with a smile, "Thanks…"
"No problem don't want you catching a cold… no offense but hearing Oracle sniff and blow her nose in my ear all night doesn't sound that appealing," Peter spoke as he watched her put on the coat.
"And here I thought you were just a gentlemen concerned for my wellbeing."
"Hey! I still am. Your wellbeing is my wellbeing…" He said with a genuine smile before switching back to a sarcastic one, "Besides, hearing you chow down on take out is gross enough as it is…"
"Ha!" She chuckled back as she pushed her second arm into its position and looked back up to him with a smile, "Fuck you… Next time I won't save you any."
"Alright, let's not be hasty, that was a joke, I love hearing you chew, I swear! It's like ASMR…" He said as he tried to frantically get back into her good graces, "Agh… No, I'm lying. I've never understood that trend…"
"Peter, I know you were joking, stop talking before you dig yourself into a bigger hole… Also, it's called mukbang."
"It is? Wow… It's big enough of a thing to have its own name—?" Peter paused his question as he noticed the gargoyle next to her, truly noticed it. In fact, it was more than just noticing, he recognised it, and not from Gotham, "Hey, it's Bruce! You're sat next to Bruce!"
"What?" Barbara said as she whipped her head around her in concerned confusion.
"Sorry. The gargoyle, not the man. This one's called Bruce!" He said as he gestured to the stone statue she was sat next to.
"Wait you named one of my gargoyles after Bruce…? Don't you get enough of him already?"
"First of all, Bruce is his own Gargoyle, he's not anyone's… Sorry, pal some people can be really insensitive…" He said as he turned to the gargoyle and fixed Barbara with a stare of mock judgement to which she rolled her eyes at him with a sly smile once more, an all-too-common expression, "And Bruce the gargoyle is an old friend from home..." Peter continued as he moved past her and patted the statue.
He looked down slightly as his tone grew a bit darker, "I couldn't find him in this New York, some big eagle took his place… I was pretty bummed about it honestly." He switched gears again and blinked out the coldness, adding chipperly, "But here he is! I'll tell ya; the resemblance is uncanny." He said as he continued to study the statue, "It's nice to see a familiar face. You know that isn't one of my sworn enemies... It's like a part of home made its way to Gotham to look out for me… He helped me through a lot of dark days. Always been a good listener, Bruce… Better than Baldy the eagle in Manhattan that stole his spot, that stupid arrogant bird."
"You know… That's… actually pretty sweet, in a creepy, talking to stone statues kind of way... Guess he was waiting for you…"
"Yeah, I guess he was… "
"You know," She looked at the statue, "he does look like a good listener..."
"He is, you should try it. It looks like you've got something heavy on your shoulders, maybe he can lighten the load…"
"I- Why would I talk to a statue while you're here?"
"Gargoyle. And I don't have to be, I can go back in…"
"No… you stay… I don't think I actually need to talk to him right now… Don't really want to talk about anything to anyone right now." She said, though her voice was unsure of itself.
Peter nodded as he looked out into the skyline as he let his mind wander a bit, a comfortable silence landed between him and Barbara. He was pulled out of his thoughts when Barbara broke the silence after a moment.
"H-hey Pete, what did you talk used to talk to him about?" She asked, still facing forward, still sat, though now her legs dangled off the ledge.
"All kinds of things… Doc Ock's new haircut and how stupid it looked. Whether or not Shocker was faking the accent. The weather. The lady who bought me a chimichanga as thanks for saving her. Other stuff…" His voice was still chipper, until it wasn't. The last statement spoke was slightly darker than the rest.
"What other stuff?" She asked, her voice soft and careful.
He sighed, "The stress of it all. The problems Spider-Man could cause, the pain… Sometimes it got too much. I had people I could talk to, but they'd give me advice. Try to make me feel better. I didn't want advice; I didn't want to feel better. I just… Sometimes I want to talk it out…" He did the same with Ben, Harry and Gwen's gravestones from time to time, but if he was honest with himself, sometimes it was easier not to see them. Easier to talk to something that didn't constantly remind him of the grief every time he looked up.
"I get that… I think I was lying a second ago. I do want to talk… But to the gargoyle. I don't want advice. But I don't want to be alone either…"
"Hey, you're never alone with Bruce." He replied as he patted the back of the statue.
"You know what I mean, besides I'm not calling him that… But the original Bruce should still be in your world, right? Maybe this is a distant cousin… Bryce?"
"Ehh… That just reminds of Jackson Brice…"
"Right… Brucey?"
"That could work."
"Heh… cool. I'll try talking to Brucey… Could you, hang back a bit? Don't leave, but I wanna' give Brucey my full attention after all…"
"Hah! Sure, I got an idea, hang on…" Peter replied with a smile before stepping off the ledge and fixing his feet to the side, walking horizontally on the side of the ledge before continuing underneath it until he was walking upside down on its underside. He walked under the ledge to roughly where Barbara was sat and sat down himself, still upside down but fastened to the ledge beneath her, a few feet of stone between them.
Barbara shook her head in disbelief as she smiled, sometimes Peter was so casual about his powers she forgot he even had them until he did something like this. Several times they'd just be chatting as they worked on their own things in the Clocktower, and she'd turn to see he was just casually sitting on the wall tinkering with some new gear, every time it caught her off guard and every time it made her smile.
"Hey Brucey… I- I just… Ah screw it, I'm not ready… You go first." She said with frustration as she shook her head.
Silence was her reply.
"Peter, I meant you." She added.
"Oh… what? Sorry, thought that was part of the thing. Alright, I can go…" He sat there, dangling and breathed out for a bit before speaking, "Hey Brucey… If you ever see your 'cousin' let him know I miss him, and I hope he hasn't had too many pigeons crap on him lately. You too, I'll bring a cloth next time for some TLC, you deserve it you handsome Gargoyle you…
"Anyway, things have been tough for me these last couple weeks I won't lie… I got shot into this dimension and found out I'll be here for a while. A long while. Had a little crisis as well, found out I'm a host to a symbiote-human hybrid…" He felt the Other bristle with concern, "We worked it out though, their pretty cool all things considered. We both have some temper issues to work out, but we'll get through it together." It happily brushed his subconscious.
"But it hasn't been all bad, I found out my uncle is alive here… I still miss him, and I know that the one here isn't the same man, but it's nice to hear his voice again. I also became a brother pretty suddenly, it's been weird, but I'm getting used to it.
"It's kinda like Jess back home but that was different, we were like close friends who happened to have the same DNA… I love her and I miss her, but we never got the chance to properly be family… Same with Kaine and Ben I guess, we could never seem to make it work, but deep down, they are my brothers... Of all my regrets, not being closer to them before being sent here is pretty high on my list…
"But now I've met Teresa, it was strange. I grew up as an only child, she grew up with older brother who from what I hear was basically the same as me before I got bitten… Poor girl, no one should go through that," He chuckled slightly at his own self-deprecating joke, "Sorry, that was bad taste… She loved him. And I wasn't that bad, so he probably wasn't either. In fact, having a sister probably made him nicer than I was… I wasn't mean or anything, but I had some issues as a kid. Orphan stuff… I was mostly good, but sometimes life was difficult, it still is, I guess…
"I'm sad he couldn't have been here. I guess Parker luck transcends the omniverse. Sometimes I feel like he's dead because something knew I was coming here and wanted me to take his place… I feel guilty for thinking that I mean how self-obsessed, right? Like all dimensions revolve around me? It's a stupid thought…
"But I digress… That's a strange word, isn't it? Digress. It's the kinda word Dick would use and then question why it's digress and not just 'gress' and then he'd say it all the time... Anyway, less gressing from me. What was I talking about?
"Right, my new sister Terri. She's great, I love her. She's just so full of life and she's so kind and funny and… and- and it makes me think, I wish I had her back home. I always felt like I had something missing as a kid, probably my parents, but May and Ben they were so good to me… Never made me feel like I didn't belong, so that emptiness always made me feel guilty.
"But having a sister, it's been great. It was great back on earth triple 61 too… That's my old world by the way. But I've lost Jess, or she's lost me, I guess… And I miss her. But then here I meet Terri, but why can't I have both? Why can't we all have each other? Is that too selfish to wish for?
"Like, why did May and Peter have to die here for Ben and Terri to welcome me in? Why did I have to lose my home world to find my new life here? Why couldn't we just have been one big happy family? Instead, it just feels like we're all missing puzzle pieces from different sets trying to fit together.
"That's kinda' why me and Terri actually had our first sibling argument yesterday… Because we couldn't stop thinking about the 'why' and just be happy with the 'is', you know? It wasn't a pretty sight, we hurt each other… but I- I think it needed to happen. We're closer than before, now that we talked it out… Ben too…
"I realised; I've always shouldered this responsibility. Locked people away from this part of me. I thought it was a way honoring my uncle Ben, protecting others from the dangers of Spider-Man, but I know now I was just protecting myself. In hindsight, it's probably why me and MJ broke up, I could never let her in fully, she always came second to Spider-Man… I miss her. She's my best friend and won't see her for years… I might never see her again.
"Talking to M'Gann helped… I guess I've kept people at arms distance because I don't want to see anyone else die… Brucey, I don't know if your cousin ever told you, but I lost someone close to me, a few someones actually," Barbara's face was tight as she listened to Peter's every word, it was unspoken between them, but she knew he was talking to her just as much as Brucey, "No… lost isn't the right word. They weren't lost. They were taken.
"But- but… I never thought Norman would go as far as he did. I was an idiot… I think by that point Norman was gone… The Green Goblin took him over completely. He turned Harry, his own son, into a monster. I had to fight my best friend until eventually his body couldn't take his new form and he died in my arms.
"I thought that'd make him stop, that Norman Osborne would take over again when he realised what he'd done. But the Goblin was too strong, the madman just laughed as he watched and flew off to grab Gwen…
"I haven't told you this yet Brucey, I told your cousin… b-but I'll fill you in as well, you deserve know." Peter and Barbara knew he wasn't talking to the statue, "Gwen was my first real love, I cared for Liz, but I was l was dumb kid when we dated. I guess I was with Gwen too, but I know that I loved her, really loved her… ever since we were five, I guess it took me a while to realise that.
"I should've trusted her straight away, told her about Spider-Man, but I couldn't. I was a coward. Shouldering too much, telling myself I was protecting her by not letting her in. She never got the chance to be part of my life fully. Instead, The Goblin threw her off a bridge and my desperation to save her just made me the weapon that killed her."
Barbara continued staring off into the distance as Peter spoke, her eyes watering as she felt a stab of pain in her heart at Peter's revelation. He'd never told any of them about any of the things he was telling 'Brucey'. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, they could all tell Peter held some trauma close to his chest, but she never imagined this.
Peter swallowed the lump in his throat, it was always a weird sensation while upside down, but he was used to it by now, "I went after the Goblin and I just saw red, I could've killed him. But I didn't. I-I watched him die by his own hand and just felt numb. He accidentally killed himself and I didn't even get the satisfaction. I was relieved but so angry… He deserved worse. But Norman came back, and with his last breath, he thanked me… He was as glad as I was that it was finally over… I guess the Goblin killed three people that day…
"And that day was the worst day of my life. I nearly gave up then and there, hell I did. For a month I did nothing but stand at Gwen and Harry's graves… But the city never stopped. I could see it trying to tear itself apart every day. At least that's what it felt like every time I ignored the buzzing in my head, telling me something was wrong, someone was in trouble. Eventually I couldn't ignore it anymore, Uncle Ben's voice kept telling me I had a responsibility to help… New York needed Spider-Man… But I'm not sure if I did… I kept thinking, why couldn't I be selfish? Just this once…
"But then getting back in the suit, eventually it helped. I slowly got better. Never the same, but better. I was bitter for a while, put a few people in the hospital… But my old team, Danny a-and Luke and Ava, they all helped me… I was too stupid to notice, but sometimes Spider-Man needs help. Sometimes I need help.
"I know they're gonna' be looking out for Miles now I'm gone. New York needs Spider-Man, and sometimes Spider-Man needs help… I hope he understands that. He probably already does; he's always been quicker at figuring this thing out than I was at his age. Probably because he never had to go it alone like I did. I wish I could thank them, but I can't… I'm here.
"But you know something Brucey…? Being here isn't all that bad. It hurts, but it's like a fresh start… And I know now to accept help when it's offered. And I know now that blocking people out only hurts more, I learnt that with Terri…
"A-and I've met so many people who've wanted to help me. My friends here, they understand me already, I think. They've helped me so much… J'onn and Mr Terrific and Ray an-and all the rest of the League welcomed me in without a second thought, they've already started trying to help me get home, to try and fix my mind. Gave me things to do to stop me wallowing in my angst.
"And Bruce, the man not the gargoyle, a-and Alfred and Dick… Tim, Steph, Cass… even Damian… They welcomed me in, gave me another family… Bruce gave me a job, an apartment… A life. When it seemed like mine had ended, he never let me give up on myself… He found my family and gave me yet another home…
"But even more than them, M'Gann and Babs… They've always been there when I needed them, figuring out the Slimbiote and listening when I get in an argument with my sister. Watching my back when I leap into a fight with a hitman, letting me use their base as a workshop to make a new suit… And even though they haven't told me yet, I know they're both going through their own stuff… And I want them to know I'm there for them if they need me.
"I don't think I could've done any of this without them. I hope they know that…" Barbara smiled as she dried her eyes and let her breathing slow into deep heavy breaths, "Thanks, Brucey, you're a great listener, just like your cousin." Peter finished.
Barbara blinked slightly as Peter finished, a small smirk on her lips as he added his last sentence. She looked out to the distance for a moment, it had started to snow in the distance and a couple of flakes were making their way to them as well. The wind was slightly stronger now and a bit more cutting, even with her coat. She shifted along so she was closer to the gargoyle, letting it act as a wind breaker.
"My turn?" She asked. There was no reply, Peter would listen, not talk, "Right… where do I start? Firstly, nice to meet you Brucey, sorry I'd never properly introduced myself… I didn't know you were such a cool guy, my bad." She chuckled softly.
She breathed out a sigh and begun speaking, "Where do I start? Well, I guess the big thing is I'm not sure I want to be Batgirl anymore… I mean, I do. I love being Batgirl but, it just, doesn't feel the same anymore… I haven't told you this, I mean you live on my home, so you may have noticed but um… I wasn't able to walk for nearly three years… All because of The Joker.
"I remember it like it was yesterday… I was nineteen and in my second year at college… There was a knock on my door one night and there he was, wearing a stupid Hawaiian shirt and shorts, a camera round his neck and a straw hat on his head.
"It was the eyes that I noticed first, those evil yellow eyes locked on my face, staring into me with that sick grin of his on his cruel, ugly face. Before I knew what was happening and what to do, he shot me… It was giant six shooter revolver, straight out of a western… The Joker was always a good shot, not the best, but still he was right in front me… Point fucking blank. It'd be hard to miss even if he wasn't…
"He had one goal, break my father. Prove that one bad day could make even the best man go mad… become like him. He took pictures of me while I attempted to crawl away, he beat me, bad, but I hit back, got some good ones in too… He pulled a crowbar out of his bag for a bit and threw it back, muttering something about saving it for later… Didn't know what he meant till after he killed Jason…
"But anyway, I guess he took too long to decide what ways to torture me as I laid there, I could see on his face he wanted to go further… I think he was going to try to kill me, slowly probably, graphically… but he didn't have time… He got what he needed… From me at least, I wasn't his only victim that night, not by a long shot…
"He left me there, bleeding out… But I survived, I recovered. And he failed… My dad never became like him. And I found a new purpose… That's when I came here, with you Brucey… And all your pals on this tower… It's when I decided I didn't care what the Joker did to me, it hadn't broken me, he just made me… different than before.
"So, I became Oracle, Steph was new to the game, but she stepped up and became Batgirl… She was good at it, sometimes I think she was better than me… Maybe being Spoiler for a few months first helped her.
"But I accepted who I was, who I am… But I guess- I guess I've lost sight of that now… I'm not sure who I am anymore… A few months ago, I was offered an opportunity… one I took without really thinking. Some kind of experimental surgery, I never wanted the details… But there's an implant in the base of my skull now, and I can walk again because of it… But it hurts sometimes… Phantom pains, you know? Eh, I guess you don't… You're made of stone.
"It was a struggle a-and it still is, it hurts a lot sometimes and I have to make sure I do these exercises every day or it might just… stop. B-but even with that, it just feels like- like suddenly here I am, able to walk, to fight… To be Batgirl again. But why do I need to be?
"I recently realised I never needed to wear the suit again… But then I just think, if I don't keep going, what was the point of me getting the implant…? Of going through the pain everyday so I can keep moving if I don't use that to be a hero? I don't- I don't know what to do with my life anymore… Am I Oracle? Am I Batgirl? Am I just Barbara Gordon the librarian? Who am I?
"And I guess lately, I began to hate myself for not knowing who I was. I began to hate the stranger that lived inside my body… And after being back in the suit for a couple months, I started feeling bitter. Jaded. Uncaring…
"It's been hard, being Batgirl again. The city seems worse somehow, crueller. My-my brother became a monster… I-I think he always was when I think about it… He killed some people, he hurt a lot more. I had to take him down. It was my first case as Batgirl again. And I realised I hated being Batgirl almost as much as I loved being Batgirl…
"And my family they- My dad really… He understands my life. But he doesn't understand junior. Neither of us do… He can't decide whether he even sees him as his son anymore. I-I guess I still see him as my brother, and I hate him for what he is… for who he is… But he's still my brother, and I can't help but love him for being that too… But why? Why? Every fucking emotion and feeling I have; I don't know why I feel it and it just makes me so… so frustrated. Angry. Pissed at everything a-and everyone and me… I'm angry at me. All the time…
"And I know I didn't used to be like this. I'm not like this, but it's what I've become, I feel broken. This—This job, my job, Oracle, Batgirl… it eats you away from the inside, and I think it's been eating me for so long now that I'm hollow. And I don't know how not to feel hollow anymore, I don't know what I can do to fill that hole… I think- I think I'm the one causing it, I'm the one eating away at myself, and I wish I knew how to stop… But I don't."
She took a deep breath and continued watching the snow fall in the distance, gently falling diagonally across the city ahead, as the small flakes around her began to settle next to her on the ledge. Peter listened to her words deeply with empathy and watery eyes as he watched the snowflakes rise in front of him as they fell to the ground below his head.
"A couple weeks ago I saw The Joker again and I lost control and nearly killed him… My anger just grabbed me. Snapped in me…. Put me somewhere else until only that hollow thing inside me was left… I couldn't stop it and- and I nearly did something I'd regret for the rest of my life.
"But although I couldn't stop myself, my friend Peter did it for me. And because of that, I've slowly felt that hollow part of me begin to fill back up. I still have no idea who I am anymore… who I'm going to be. But maybe I'll figure it out, every day I think I'm getting better at working out who I am… Hopefully soon it'll come to me. But what I do know is that I'm not a killer. And that because of Peter.
"I hope he knows how much that meant, him stopping me. I hope he knows how much he means to me, to all of us… He's been here for two weeks and already he's become such a big part of our lives… He says he needs to get better at accepting help, but I don't think he ever really thinks about all the people he's helped. I want him to know it matters…
"But I… I haven't told him what's been going on with me. I didn't want to bother him; he already has so much he has to deal with… so much in his past… I heard about some of the people he lost, that he had taken from him… He never found the time to tell us, and I want him to know we understand… and I'm so sorry… I want to give him a big hug later but right now it's just me and you, eh Brucey…? You know, Pete was right… you are a good listener."
Peter smiled softly as he felt himself welling up a bit, he didn't speak. He just stared out into night, watching as the snow rose from the sea of clouds and up onto the buildings which hung above it. Gotham was a rough place, even for New Jersey, it was a grim, dark city that reeked of poison. But looking at it now, it was beautiful, gothic, intense, and all the same, entirely unique.
For her own part, Barbara also turned back out to the skyline, taking in the details of the night city's landscape as the snow softly began to land on the roofs of the buildings and skyscrapers ahead. The lights of windows in the apartments buildings and skyrises glowing softly against the dark misty air, the signs that there was still life in this city, still light, still hope.
"Hey, Peter?" She said after a moment, still taking in the view as she wrapped herself tighter, trying to stay warm against the night's biting chill. Her mention of his name signalling the end of their time of talking to each other indirectly via Brucey as proxy, and back to each other fully once more.
"Yeah…" She heard his voice speak from under her, it was slightly unsteady. Peter wasn't sure whether she wanted him to speak about what she'd just said to Brucey or to continue pretending like he wasn't there for that part.
"How do you see the world?" She eventually asked.
"Harsh, cruel, unfair… But still beautiful. You?" He replied after a moment.
"No… That was a good answer but not what I meant; I mean… How does the city look for you, while you're hanging like that?"
"Oh… I mean I could hold you upside down if you wanted to see?"
"Nah… not tonight at least. I-I want you to describe it to me… To tell it to me like I'd never been to Gotham before."
"Alright then…" He took in the view ahead of him and intensely studied it, "Imagine this endless ocean stretching out forever into the unknown. So dark and misty it could be infinitely deep, hiding so many secrets…"
"Now imagine these tiny little… fireflies, rising out from it. To the top of this, dark, monstrous cave roof with so many of these brutal stalactites hanging down. They overlap each other, like their fighting each other for more space on this cramped ceiling… I think they must be where the fireflies live because they're glowing with these lights... they're so beautiful."
He paused as he looked at the upside-down blimps as their spotlights searched the ground above his eyes, "There's a few boats sailing on the cloudy sea below, it's like they're searching for something on the roof of this huge cave that we're in. I don't know what, maybe the fireflies. Or maybe there's some bats sleeping peacefully on the ceiling. Who knows… But no matter what, I can't see an end to the cave, it just stretches out forever…
"But it doesn't feel like I'm trapped here, it's comforting in a way. Like I'll always be covered from whatever storm is outside no matter how far I go. Like there's a shelter that's always above me, keeping me safe you know? And I guess… Yeah that's kinda all I got. How was that?"
"That was good… it sounds beautiful." Barbara said as she continued to hug herself tighter and rested her chin on her arms.
"It is… You should try to see it from this angle sometime."
"Maybe… but for now I think that gets to be your view. I have my own…"
"So, tell me what your world looks like. Like I'd never seen it before…"
"Ummm… Exactly what you said but upside down?" Barbara replied from behind a cheeky smile.
"That's cheating… Come on, I gave it a try, it's your turn… I wanna' know how the city looks to someone who grew up here." Peter replied with a slight hint of pleading in his voice.
"Alright, alright… Let me see," unwittingly copying Peter's expression when he focused on the city's details, she took in the view and thought deeply about what she would say, "I see these towering castles of dark stone. Uncaring and harsh, brutal even… They overlook the streets like their trying to scare everyone below them and inside them. But the people aren't scared, they're hardy… strong. Some of them even cling on to hope even when the city doesn't seem to care…
"But I think deep down the city does care. The gothic towers aren't trying to scare them, their scaring off everyone else… Trying to protect the people within with this grand show of intimidation… It doesn't always work though… That's why the lights are always on, I think a lot of the people are too scared to sleep with them off.
"Then there's these GCPD blimps, always hovering above, looking down on the city," She turned her head up to the blimp closest to them high up in the sky, "Watching for anywhere they're needed. They're here to help, but they don't, not really. They're just hovering spies for a corrupt force that's been slowly poisoning this city from its inception. They'res a few good apples, like Montoya, my father… even that blowhard Bullock. But I think the tree itself is rotten. Just like the rest of the city. This city is sick… it's festering core has been eating it from the inside for as long as its existed.
"But then I look up at the clouds and think… the snow doesn't care, it still falls… Like each snowflake is planting its cold kisses on the city below. All of them are trying their best to flush out the poison… I don't think it's working but… But there is a lot of good here, and I think that those good people know, the snow is for them. Like a soft sign from above that this city hasn't been abandoned.
"But to the people who try to tear this city down or to mould into their own image, the snow is just as cold and uncaring as the everything else in Gotham. But they're wrong. Gotham does care… It does. That'swhy the people like Black Mask, Joker, the League of Shadows they'll never have this city. Never truly break it.
"No matter how hard they try, no matter how much they poison it. They'll never have this city; I mean I just look at those towering gothic skyscrapers and think… for better or for worse, Gotham is unbreakable, and it always will be."
Peter smiled at Barbara's words; he felt their truth. And he could see it now, Gotham was unbreakable. It was strong and dark and brutal, but there was a hope here. A sturdy type of hope, one that could only be crafted from the hardest material. A diamond hidden amongst the rough of a city which seemed all too uncaring, but that deep down cared more than any other.
"How was that?" Peter was pulled out of his thoughts by Barbara's voice above him.
"That was good... Really good. H-hey Babs?"
"Yeah?"
"I think I might sit here for a while longer… how about you?"
"It's getting cold, but I think I could do a while longer too… especially with company as nice as this…"
"Hey, look at you, getting all soft and mushy around me. How far we've come from that first night, eh?"
"Oh, awkward… I was talking about the gargoyle." Barbara smiled as she gave her sarcastic reply.
"Har-har! My sides are splitting…" Peter responded with his own dry sarcasm.
"Peter… Thanks for this, I needed it."
"No problem, and ditto… I mean it Babs; I couldn't have done this without you. Thanks for being my friend when I needed it."
The two of them couldn't see the other's face as they each smiled, but still they each felt the warmth of their presence. For what felt like an eternity they both just sat there, in silence, drinking in the view of the city as it bristled with soft signs of life late in the night.
The wind was cold, but after a while neither of them felt it anymore as they each sat on the ledge, Peter below it and Barbara above. Each of them seeing the world differently, but knowing exactly how the other saw it.
Author Notes:
Yup, more talking… Lol. My bad. I SWEAR there's more action coming… Please bear with me… I hope you enjoy this chapter anyhow; I never know how to feel about my writing since I'm reading from MY perspective, and I know what's coming…
Anyhoo Killing Joke is a pretty meh story imo, never really got the hype, but I lowkey feel that about the whole Batman vs Joker relationship as a whole. There's MUCH more compelling rivalries in comics imho.
Either way though Oracle is a massive part of Babs identity, but Imma be real with you, this story was in the works BEFORE I watched YJ Phantoms, and I saw how they handled Barbara's paralysis which still kept her autonomy and was far less misogynistic. But by that point I was already at ch4 and couldn't really change it as I had the arcs planned, but they handled in a way that was way better and if I had I'd probs have gone THAT route instead of KJ.
But for the record in this world, there was NO SA… She was not stripped or anything like that like in the OG story, because I find it unnecessary and sexist… The assault and torture/trauma itself is awful enough… Instead, Joker wanted to beat her to death and use that and a bunch of other stuff around the city to break Jim.
Anyway, an in-universe Miles one shot is coming soon, so watch out for that.
Be great and keep smiling,
Till next time
Fumble :)