(A/N): Still with Jerremyah, Lisbet and Leo, in the aftermath of the dream, and Leo telling them he thought he died in it. The alternate title for this chapter was 'Leaving It All Up To You', but since I already have a chapter titled 'It's All Up To You', I decided on this one instead.

Trigger Warning: Discussions of death, potential death, potential/planned suicide, and basically just general talk of dying.

Jerremyah

Lisbet immediately- predictably- froze, and I'm sure if there'd been anyone else around that I trusted to handle the situation, I would've reacted the same way. Unfortunately, I didn't have that luxury, but I still considered it a blessing that I was- that they both wanted me here. That they were allowing me to try to help, even if maybe I wasn't... the best person for the job. The first thing I did was put my hand on the back of his neck and squeeze a little, to try to anchor him; the second was to try to comfort him in a more verbal capacity. "Is that why you woke up crying?" Nice going, idiot! I expected Leo's blush, and for once, it wasn't satisfying to me- because I knew I hadn't just flustered him, I'd embarrassed him, which was the last thing I wanted to do. "I mean- it upset you. Understandably. Was that the only reason, or was there- something else?"

He stayed quiet for a minute, and I knew Lisbet was starting to recover from her shock because she wrapped her arms around his back and pulled him close, practically trapping him against her chest. He didn't complain, though; if anything, he burrowed even closer to her. "It- it wasn't- that, specifically. Not- The death part was... peaceful. Everything else about it..." I saw Lisbet's arms tighten incrementally for a second, before she forced herself to loosen her grip for fear of hurting him.

"And you-" I felt my eyebrows furrow, as I realised I didn't know what to say- because I never got the full story, about what Leo planned to do with the chains. What I'd volunteered to help him do. "I don't know what to say to that," I told him honestly, figuring there was no point in trying to pretend like I knew what I was doing.

"Was your death peaceful?" I- what? I was so taken aback by this question- by the rapid change of subject- that it took me a second to get my brain to work again- as much as it ever did, anyway.

By the time I could think, I was able to meet Lisbet's eyes over his shoulder, and I saw the apprehension in them, along with a heaping dose of concern. She seemed willing to continue letting me handle it though, so I moistened my lips and said the first thing that came to my mind. "Not exactly. I mean, with Nuria as my sire- there was never really any chance of that. I'd say peace went out the window the second I met her, but I don't think I'd ever known peace before that, either." To be honest, I'm not sure whether I've ever truly known peace- but the closest I'd come was certainly with Lisbet. Maybe when she'd bitten me that first time, to claim me as her mate- or our first wedding, perhaps.

Leo was quiet for a second- which gave me plenty of time to take in Lisbet's, 'we'll be discussing that later', expression- and then gave a thoughtful hum. "Lis?" She jolted as if she hadn't expected him to ask her- in general, or this question, specifically?

"What, Sweetheart?" It seemed to be an automatic response on her part, but she didn't take it back or try to add anything. No, she was leaving it all up to Leo, which was probably for the best.

At least this way, when he asked that question again, we knew he'd had plenty of time to reconsider, but decided to go ahead with it anyway. "Was your death peaceful?"

I wasn't sure if she took a moment to answer because she was trying to figure that out for herself, or because she wasn't sure whether she should tell him. Either way, she rubbed her hand up and down the length of his spine while she thought it through, as if she was trying to reassure him until she was ready to speak. "I'd say so, yes." I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding, and she flashed me an amused look over his shoulder before mostly sobering again. "I died in the arms of the man I loved- even if neither of us were willing to admit that just yet- for the express purpose of coming back to live a longer, better life. I don't know how I couldn't be at peace with that."

But being 'at peace' with something didn't necessarily mean the experience was peaceful- which I think was exactly why she'd phrased it that way. After all, even with Grey there, and even though it was Lisbet, my control had still been extremely... tenuous, to say the least. "So you weren't... scared?" There was a hint of something in Leo's voice, and I couldn't tell if it was apprehension, or tentative hope. You wouldn't think the two would be easy to confuse, and yet, here I was.

"I was scared Jerremyah and Grey would never forgive themselves if I died. I was scared about what would happen to my friends, without me around. I was scared that... that might be the end for me. That I'd never get to do all the things I wanted to do- planned, to do. But no, the death itself didn't scare me- because I wasn't really dying." It didn't surprise me in the slightest that the things Lisbet claimed to have been the most afraid of involved me and Grey- and Wilde, I guess- or the life we later got to share together. What did surprise me, at least a little, was how blatant she was being about trying to dissuade Leo from going through with his plan- especially since we'd already established that the more we tried to fight him on something, the more determined he became to see it through. "I know it sounds like I'm trying to- to convince you that chains isn't the answer, but- well, I won't lie, that is part of it; I can't help it. But... I'm doing my best to be honest with you about this, and that's- as honest as it gets. What you take from it is up to you, Nounours." He seemed to appreciate that, even if the corner of his lips did droop into a frown.

"It wasn't-" He started, then cut himself off, apparently second-guessing whatever he'd been about to say. "I didn't choose it, in the dream. It was happening to me, and I didn't- no matter what, I've changed my mind." Even I wasn't dumb enough to assume he meant not wanting to take matters into his own hands in the first place. "Elaine cannot be involved."

Of course it was that. Of course! But as much as it made sense, it also concerned me deeply- because clearly, something in this 'very vivid' dream had made him decide that was the case, and if it wasn't just the act of dying itself... then how much worse were things about to get? Obviously, the only thing I could do to help right now was to keep my cool, so I did- even if Lisbet looked at me a little oddly for it. "So you're saying she was involved, in your dream?" He pulled back to glare at me- not his best, if I'm honest- and I shrugged. "Look, I'm not arguing- I'm just working with the information you've given us, which, as always, isn't much. Not that I can exactly hold that against you, especially right now."

His glare softened, and he went from looking unhappy in an angry way to unhappy in a miserable way. "She- she fought for me," Which, from what I'd heard about her, was probably to be expected. "She tried to pull me up- managed it, too, for a second, before it pulled me back under." Lisbet and I shared a look that was almost equal parts concerned and confused, until the concern won out, in the end.

"What- what, 'pulled you back under'?" I asked, worried that if Lisbet were the one to ask it might make him clam up again, depending on whether or not he still thought she was 'too involved'. So much for me remaining uninvolved, huh?

"I think..." He hesitated, then grimaced. Then, he leaned forward, and buried his face in the rolled neck of my jumper, as if he was trying to hide his next words in the one place he knew they'd find a home. "I think it was the vampire. My vampire. I think... I think it's killing me."

(A/N): So apparently a lot of people hate the phrase 'I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding'. Personally, I love it. Especially when it comes to someone like Jerremyah, who has absolutely no reason to be breathing in the first place, let alone holding his breath.