Chapter 8 - Home

Author's Note: I always go with canon over Legends, so Leia's child is probably going to be Ben, but I just think it would be so funny if she *was* about to have twins, so I'm going to leave it open. XD

~ Tirana Sorki

Leia invites everyone over to her apartment near the Senate building. It's been a very long time since Anakin was last here. It was a while before his trial even started.

"Looks different," he observes, eyeing the decorative furniture and curtains. What specifically catches his attention is the highchair already in the dining room.

"Preparing for the baby" Leis replies, smiling. She looks genuinely happy here. He hasn't seen that in a long time.

The surroundings and... this exact style of preparation remind him so painfully of himself and Padme for a moment it's enough to take his breath away. But he's not going to ruin the moment for his daughter – even if the emotions are suddenly strangling him. He was helping Padme prepare for Leia. He thought he was going to have a daughter, but she never got to get any of that. "Good start, but it will be a long time before... they need one."

"Hey, just because Luke and I were twins doesn't mean I'm going to have twins," Leia objects.

"What about twins?" Han interjects, materializing from the next room, sounding mildly freaked out.

"I am only warning you to be prepared," he replies, amused.

The way Han's expression grows steadily more alarmed amuses him even more. Except for the part where he has to promptly remember everything that happened between them on Bespin. It makes it strange to interact with him sometimes, because it sometimes feels like he... doesn't really have the right to? Neither Leia nor Han have mentioned a thing about it, but he can't help thinking about it obsessively sometimes.

"Don't give him a heart attack," Leia scolds, cracking up.

Anakin laughs.

Han huffs. "We aren't even ready for one. Don't get me started on more than that."

"I could have said the same," Anakin responds, dryly.

Right.

Stop thinking about that.

He's going to be a grandfather. That – that is something he can't wait for.

"So, what do you think the baby will be?" Anakin asks her. The... child is far more visible now than it was when he left. It can't be more than a few months away before it's born, now. So it's really in advance to be buying things the baby won't need until it's half a year old but well, he can understand the spirit.

"A boy," Leia replies, firmly.

That reminds him of Padme too, but for some reason Anakin's far more inclined to agree with Leia on that.

"Better be," Han mutters, "If we had a daughter, she'd be just like you."

Leia just grins at him, before turning back to Anakin. "Want to see the rest of what I've gotten for... him?"

"Of course."

And he actually does, because this is going to be his first grandchild and... Force, he can't believe he's about to be one. He follows her to the bedroom right next to Leia's. It's already been set up with a crib and everything – and definitely for a boy.

"Impressive," he supplies.

"Why do you keep getting that look?" Leia asks, eyeing him.

"...What look?"

"The – I don't know. Are you upset about something?"

Oh. "I... Your mother and I were preparing all this for you. I – I thought I would have a girl. Not twins. That's what I was prepared for."

Her expression shifts to something wistful and maybe a little sad. She reaches out, taking his hand. The gesture startles him a little, but he squeezes it back.

"You can be here every step of the way for... your grandchild," Leia says, "I know that won't change the time we... lost together, but..."

"It will be enough," he promises, giving her as much of a smile as he can manage, "I am grateful you... had a life better than what I could have given you."

"I was... happy, but I can't believe that that's true," Leia objects, shaking her head, "I... For a long time, my cousin told me I wasn't a real Organa. I didn't feel like it until I finally heard what my birth parents were like so I could... accept what part of me was from them. I can't imagine having lived a different life, but I don't believe I would have been any less happy if had I grown up with you. And Luke."

He feels at a sudden loss for words, especially at the tears suddenly stinging his eyes. He just – He knows Leia cares about him, but it's different when she actually says things like that. When she says that she actually wanted him. Even if it sometimes it just hurts more, considering the... complications between them for so long.

He just tightens the grip on her hand. No words he could say could really explain how much that means to him.

"Even later, I sometimes wondered what you would have been like had you..." Best to just leave it there, considering that he thought he killed her for so long. "But how do you plan to deal with the child, with all your Senate work?"

"It'll be stressful," she admits, sighing, "It has been all this time with what was happening to you, but it will be worth it. I'll find a way to make it work. But I think if you can be around him more when I'm not, I would be... nice."

He wants to agree to that. It's what he wants. Maybe – maybe there are ways he can still help even if he's not having to fight, even if fighting at some point will be inevitable. "I'll see," he promises. He doesn't know what to say to that right now.

"Now, I think you promised me that story about how you ended up in a different galaxy?" Leia says.

"I think Han would like to hear that," Anakin muses, moving back for the door.

""Bout your alleged trip to another galaxy?" the smuggler queries, standing in the hall right outside, "Sure would. How'd you manage that?"

That... will be a long story. One he'll very much enjoy telling them.

**w**

It's nighttime now. Leia went to bed early because she needed the rest, especially since she'll be up early for the Senate in the morning, but Anakin's hardly in a rush. This is the first time he's had the chance to just be with his family, since... this whole mess started in the first place. He's trying to meditate in the living room when he hears movement behind him.

It's Galen – he senses it instantly. Anakin slips out of meditation, opening his eyes.

The boy is sitting cross-legged across from him now, though he hasn't actually tried to start meditating himself yet. He's tried using the Light a couple times since Anakin first showed him how and it's still not easy for him, but he's trying.

"You're still awake?" Anakin asks.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Galen asks, "It's not that late."

"...It is, in fact, past your bedtime."

"I don't have a bedtime." He sounds very close to whining.

He smothers a smile. "You most assuredly do." Force, he's missed having him to take care of. At least he can do it again, and he can do it better than he did before when he could never give it the focus he sometimes wanted. (There was also the fact that he was never sure how to – to balance raising him versus making him a Sith. He had a hard time knowing how to balance caring for Ahsoka and keeping her alive too, but it was far harder with Galen. He's still not proud of how he did it, even if he can accept that at that point, there was little else he could have done if he wanted Galen alive at all)

"I didn't have one as a Sith so it's not fair I have to have one now," Galen argues.

"You did, except when we were in battle," Anakin corrects.

He rolls his eyes. "Whateverrrr."

"So, why are you up?" Anakin asks.

Galen shifts, fidgeting a little. "I was umm... Is there a way to unbleed lightsaber crystals? Mine are always... hurting. If you're going to teach me how to use the Force differently than how Sith do, I don't think my lightsabers should be like Sith's either."

That's a fair point. He hadn't thought to mention it, because it was a choice he wanted Galen to make on his own, if he really felt he was ready for that kind of change. "You bled the crystal by feeding your pain into it," Anakin says, his mind lashing back to when he first bled his first one – back on Mustafar, and he'd had that vision Obi-Wan, and – No, he doesn't want to get lost in thinking about any of that. It's the past. The future is what's important. "To reverse it, you will have to meditate on your crystal with... calmness, with... a positive memory, to take away the pain."

Which reminds him that his Vader lightsaber is still here, and he doesn't know what to do with yet, but... there's no reason he should leave that crystal hurting. "Perhaps I will heal my own at the same time," Anakin decides. Both his lightsabers were returned to him after the trial. It's good to have them back, even with the Force as his ally, he doesn't truly need them.

Galen perks up. "Okay."

Anakin goes to retrieve it, focusing on the crystal in his hand and pouring calming waves into it, healing the... hurt. It feels freeing to have the chance to do this.

He can sense Galen doing the same next to him, with both his lightsabers. When they're finished, all the crystals are a pure white like they once were.

"How does it look?" Galen inquires, igniting the two blades. It's strange to see him with white – but maybe not entirely wrong, at least not right now.

"It is... suitable," Anakin agrees, and Galen's expression brightens.

"So what's the next lesson?" he asks, eagerly.

It's been so long since he taught anyone as a Jedi. He needs a moment to collect his thoughts on that, but he thinks doing that is going to be perhaps the final thing that helps him... let go of everything as Vader.

"...Going to bed," Anakin says, smirking.

Galen makes a face. "Stooooop it."

He can't help laughing and so does Galen, even if he looks decidedly petulant about it.

"I will think about it. We can speak of it in the morning," he answers, actually seriously this time.

Rex appears in the doorway, suddenly. They invited pretty much everyone over to Leia's house, and if Rex is still lingering here, he probably wants a word.

"Fine," Galen concedes, standing. He seems to have concluded the same thing, "I will. But I don't think you have the right to complain about my bedtime when you told me horror stories about how you never slept at all."

"...I did not."

"The point still stands," he insists, but he disappears out the door before Anakin can try to dispute the point. The boy does have a point, though. Still. He misses actual parent duty a little too much. Maybe staying to actually help raise Leia's child would be... what he really wants, more than anything.

"Reminds me a bit of raising the Commander together," Rex comments, watching Galen go.

"It was," Anakin agrees. Except he didn't have help, unlike with Ahsoka. Rex helped him more than he could ever say, even if Rex was far more afraid and unsure how to handle it than Anakin himself was. Which is saying something.

"How did you handle it?" Rex inquires, studying him, "I can't imagine any of the officers there assisted you with training like the boys did."

He breathes out a breath sharply. "I don't know how I did most of what I did without you, Rex. You were the first... friend I had." After Kitster. Doesn't really want to think about how he saw him again, only a little over a year ago now. He was too taken up with everything else to really focus on him and at the time, it was like... Kitster was the friend of a boy long dead not him – the person who became everything Kitster would loathe. Seeing him had just made Vader loathe himself and grieve the past even more.

Rex approaches him, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Don't know how I could have helped you that much, sir. You're the one who knew what you were doing far more than I did."

"Not... always." Rex had helped him get used to leading in a war, before Anakin felt comfortable taking the role of general. They helped each other with so many things. Which reminds him... "Echo told me that you always... believed in me," he starts, hesitantly.

"How couldn't I, General?" Rex asks, "After everything you did for me and all my brothers."

Never enough – he got them all killed at the Temple. But – "Even – even after Malachor?" He has no idea why he asked that. Why he's thinking about any of this so much. He and Rex have never talked Malachor – never did with Ahsoka either. There wasn't really a reason too.

Rex stills. "I... I wondered what happened there. I never could understand it. But I... I went through the same. On Umbara."

When Krell ordered him to kill Fives.

Oh.

That –

It had hurt Rex far more than he ever said. It... haunted him. Rex had talked to Anakin about everything Krell had done with turning the clones on each other, but he never said anything about the near execution. Not a word. Anakin heard what happened there from Fives and Jesse themselves – some of the boys were still angry at Rex even if it wasn't openly. Fives was worried about him. Rex had never said a word about it until... until after Fives' death. He couldn't get it out of his head, watching Fox shoot him down and knowing how terrified he'd been only months before that – that he had to stand there and watch one of the 501st shoot Fives. That he was the one who let them do it, because Krell gave him direct orders. That – Anakin had never wanted to kill another Jedi more in his life than when he heard all of that.

And Anakin had... nearly killed Ahsoka on Malachor. So yes, the situation was so similar.

"I didn't understand it, but I knew it must be... a similar situation," Rex says, quietly.

Anakin swallows hard. "It was. Similar. I knew what Sidious would do to her, if she did not join me willingly, and I knew she would not."

Rex grip on his shoulder tightens. "I don't know if there's a reason for us to discuss this further, sir."

That's probably wisest.

Anakin nods. "I haven't talked to Echo since coming back. I should call him so he knows how all know what happened." He was worried about him and even if he's probably seen news about their return on the holonet, he at least owes him a call – him and all his siblings.

"It should be morning there right now," Rex comments.

Might as well call them now, at least for a few minutes.

It rings for a while, but finally Tech answers.

"Who is it?" Hunter's muffled voice asks from somewhere off the hologram.

"The General," Tech calls back, and moments later Hunter and Echo appear in range of the transmission, too.

"You made it," Echo observes, visibly relieved.

"The ship held together just as we expected," Anakin says.

"Of course it did," Tech agrees.

"How did the mission go?" Hunter asks.

"It... went well," Anakin replies, "We're back and everything is settling down. But... thank you for helping me with the ship. I know the risk it was to you."

"Wasn't a problem," Hunter assures.

"You needed our help," Echo replies, fiercely.

"If you ever need anything, tell me," he says. It's the most he can offer them in exchange. Most of all, he's just glad to know that they're still alive and together.

**w**

Anakin slips outside onto the balcony at the back of Leia's apartment, overlooking Coruscant. It's... something he used to do all the time at Padme's apartment. Probably, he'll never stop longing for the life he lost, but he can still accept that he... has more now than he may have gotten anyway, regardless of what happened. Everything before was always hard, even if it didn't compare to what it was like as Vader, and... he has a family now, even if not the way he imagined, and that's what matters most. He doesn't need to keep fearing that he's going to be alone – because this time, he knows it's not going to happen.

Movement in the doorway catches his attention, and he looks up to see Ahsoka slipping outside into the darkness surrounding them. As dark as Coruscant can be, with the traffic lights illuminating them. "Hey, Skyguy," she murmurs, joining him at the railing.

Anakin nods, looking up at her. "Need anything, Snips?"

"You looked like you could use company," she snips, "Have you made up your mind on what you're going to do now?"

He turns to look at her. "The Chancellor offered me position of general again."

"You didn't take it?"

"I do not know yet. It is like what you said about being part of... organizations, following what they ask of you. I do not know if I should... do that again."

"You told me back in the beginning that you didn't know if it was a position you wanted. If you don't want to have that anymore, now is the best time to refuse," Ahsoka points out.

Like the choice Ahsoka made when she left everything. He can understand it – she never wanted to fight, even if he didn't see any other way. Still doesn't, but he doesn't want to fight the way he has been. Doesn't know what he wants to do instead, but... He needs time to figure that out.

"I do not know," Anakin admits, "The Republic needs it, but – "

Ahsoka reaches out, touching his arm. "The galaxy always needs help. You can't control that on your own."

"I know." He accepted that long ago, but that doesn't mean he wants to stop helping.

"Maybe give it time," she suggests.

"Luke will be... disappointed," Anakin comments. Luke was so eager to fight with him before and that's definitely still going to be true. He doesn't want to make him feel like that, but he doesn't know what to do.

To be fair, Luke could probably use a break from fighting himself right now. He might be trying to let go of the Dark Side, but it's still a new thing.

"You don't have to fight alongside him to still be with him," Ahsoka points out, bluntly, "After everything that's happened, I think you need to make the decision for yourself."

He genuinely can't imagine that. He doesn't do things for himself. Doesn't care to – he shouldn't need to, if he has a family. But Ahsoka isn't wrong, either. It will be far worse for everyone if he starts losing control of himself again. Whatever happens, he can't let that happen.

There's a shift in the Force, before Obi-Wan's shimmering figure appears next to them.

"Obi-Wan?" Ahsoka asks, surprised.

"I take it you were overhearing our conversation," Anakin comments.

"The end of it," Obi-Wan replies. From the look on his face, he has a lot of opinions to express. Though not he's not usually as... pushy about it than he once was, and Anakin desperately wants guidance right now.

"What do you think of this, Master?" he asks. He needs to know. At least he wants to take that into account.

"All you have done for years is... fight. Perhaps Ahsoka is on to something about taking a break from it," Obi-Wan responds. It was the Jedi – Obi-Wan – who taught him that in the first place, but Anakin doesn't comment on that. It was always so confusing – he had to be the Jedi's weapon and yet Obi-Wan always told him to stop trying to be stronger. He can understand some of it now, but it... Maybe they're both right. "I once hoped that Luke would rebuild the Jedi Order, but I'm no longer certain that will be an option."

The implications that he's not outright saying quickly catch up to him.

"You – you're asking me to rebuild the Order?" Anakin asks, faintly. Why would Obi-Wan ask that of him? He's the one who – He can't imagine being a part of an Order, both because he doesn't want to blindly serve an organization and because he doesn't really feel like he deserves it. "You would trust me to do that?"

"You have always done what known of us can, Anakin. I know you could do it," Obi-Wan responds.

This is already the second time he's been about to cry tonight.

Ahsoka pats his arm, distracting him from the emotions about to overwhelm him. "Don't go too fast, Skyguy," advises says, "We still have time."

"Yes," Obi-Wan concedes, "Whatever you are... ready for."

Ahsoka is still watching him, almost hesitantly. "I know what my choices led to, but I – I think the break could help you."

"What happened to me wasn't your fault, Snips," Anakin replies, firmly, "You could not have changed it, and what you needed was more important." Ahsoka was his responsibility. He wasn't hers.

Ahsoka seems almost uncertain what to say which happens to be the very moment he senses Luke approaching. The boy steps outside to join them.

...Anakin really is keeping everyone awake tonight.

At least something about Luke feels a little lighter now. "Wasn't expecting to see you here," he comments, eyeing Obi-Wan. The tone is mostly neutral, but the hostility there isn't entirely veiled.

"I've been around far more frequently than right here," Obi-Wan supplies, unhelpfully.

"I can sense as much," Luke replies, curtly.

"We're talking about rebuilding the Order," Ahsoka interrupts, probably wisely, "Has anyone heard from any survivors if they want to? I don't know if I would want to rejoin an Order regardless but by... being Force users, we can still help in our own way. On a case by case basis."

Fair enough. Maybe that would be for the best. "I haven't talked to anyone about it yet. Things are still settling down, but... yes, Galen already wants me to train him," Anakin replies.

Ahsoka reaches out, squeezing his hand. "Then it sounds like you already have your hands full."

"Yes," he agrees, momentarily amused, "I do."

Luke shrugs a shoulder, looking to Anakin. "I might join. If you did."

Anakin doesn't know what choice he ought to make – but he's going to be training Galen as a Jedi. He just... doesn't think he can truly call himself a Jedi anymore and he doesn't want to presume he can start an Order that's different just based off his own experiences. Doesn't know what to decide at all. Right now, he'll leave it to the Force. But maybe, he can wait on answering to Mothma a little bit longer, until he's certain.

Anakin turns his gaze back to the passing traffic. Coruscant became his home more than anywhere else, so maybe it's fitting that he's back here again, when he finally has his entire family together. It's the first time Galen's back here with everyone else.

He doesn't know what will happen from now, but he has hope that things will stay better than they once were. The Force feels brighter, more hopeful than it has in along time, and he... can try to believe in that.

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