Sometimes he appreciated Tony's antics, you know. Sometimes. As long as he wasn't the butt of them. They lightened the mood and all that. But other times (read; most of them) he most definitely did not. They were nonsensical, they were distracting, they were annoying.
Much like Tony himself, actually.
Okay, that was a bit harsh. Tony wasn't like that all the time. And he did like him, honestly. Just, not first thing on a Monday morning when they had no case and Tony felt like he did not need to do any work just yet.
McGee didn't blame him, catching up on paperwork and cold cases were never fun but they didn't exactly have a choice. But Tony decided that if he wanted other amusements that must mean the rest of them did as well.
Where was Ziva anyway? She normally could coral Tony somewhat. Or she would join in. She had gone down to see Abby about something and had yet to return. Probably finishing off her work down there to get away from her desk. McGee had done that often enough himself.
Well, he didn't have any excuse to do that right now so he would just have to put up with Tony. He could do that. He had been doing that for years. It was easy enough to blank him out.
Yes, it was easy. McGee found himself quickly getting absorbed in his report. This one he had to pay particular care to, their perp's lawyers were sniffing after it.
There was a 'thud' as something hit the floor. It didn't make a crashing or shattering noise so McGee paid it no mind. He was in full flow here; his report should be finished soon. Another thing done. Yes, there was an unending stack of paperwork still to do but having something done was always good. Which was more than he could say for Tony.
Speaking of Tony, he had briefly gone quiet there. Which was never a good sign. Just as McGee looked up, Tony put a hand to his chest and gasped dramatically.
"Oh, the pain! The agony!"
McGee ignored his co-worker. It was always the best decision when he acted like this. Of course, Tony did not think that he should be ignored.
"Such a dreadful tragedy. However, shall we go on with our lives?"
He took a quick glance at the floor, sighed heavily and tried to continue typing. He had more than enough experience with this nonsense to get on with his work. Gibbs also wanted the surveillance footage before lunch as well as get this report done.
Tony did not seem to appreciate that he had work to do. Or that he also had work. No, he was completely involved in his little scene here.
"It went so fast! Like a blur!"
Other agents were starting to stare. Tony was starting to get increasingly loud with each sentence.
"How could it happen so?"
McGee resisted the urge. It was hard but he managed it. Just about.
"How the mighty have fallen!"
He snapped, almost breaking his keyboard. "It's a dropped chocolate bar, Tony. Stop being dramatic."
It wasn't like something had got broken or someone was injured. It was a chocolate bar. The only risk there was, was it melting into the carpet.
"Correction, it was the last chocolate bar, McHeartless," Tony informed him. "Have a heart."
'Thud'
McGee had finally given into the urge to hit his head off his desk. It wasn't as satisfying as he thought it would be.
Ziva chose this moment to return to the bullpen. McGee with his head still firmly on his desk and Tony standing over his chocolate bar.
"I do not want to know," she said after taking the while scene in and promptly returned to her desk.
"Don't you want to know about the tragedy that is unfolding?"
"There appears to be no blood or dead body so, no."
"It's quite dramatic."
"If it involves you, it is always dramatic."
Ha. Tony didn't know what to say to that, did he? Except look a bit insulted. Ziva went over to McGee and jerked her head in Tony's direction.
"How long has he been acting like this?"
"You mean today or since I've known him? Because the answer to both of those is 'too long'."
She rolled her eyes at him and sat down without another glance at Tony.
"He was a good chocolate bar," Tony said remorsefully. "Had such good flavour. Perfect texture."
"It was a vending machine bar. They aren't that great."
"Don't speak ill of the dead, Probie. It's disrespectful."
"It was never alive."
Tony, of course, ignored him and was now critically looking at the remains on the floor.
"We're going to need something for a coffin. I'll lead the ceremony," he said, pulling his jacket on. "Does anybody want to say a few words?"
"No." McGee said shortly.
He was not going to play along with this. It was ridiculous even by Tony's standards.
"That's technically a word, I'll take it." Tony spun around to face his partner. "Ziva?"
"You are not holding a funeral for a chocolate bar, Tony." Ziva added.
"Oh, but I very much am."
"You have work to do, I'm sure."
"Nothing more important than this."
"Is that so, DiNozzo?"
McGee heaved a sigh of relief. Finally. Gibbs was here and everything could go back to normal. Or, as normal as it could for them.
"Of course, not boss," Tony said quickly, taking his jacket off. "There's nothing more important than our work."
He all but dove for his desk, slipping into his seat as Gibbs strode past.
"Good to know, DiNozzo."
Perfect. No more talk about dead chocolate bars or burying them or -
'Crunch'
McGee sat up and grinned as Tony gave their boss a horrified look. Oh, karma. How McGee loved it.