Azula had no idea their mother was growing suspicious.
Ever since father went to prison, nothing seemed to upset her too much, not the huge scar on Zuko's face, not her daughter's quickly deteriorating mental health, nothing. Just knowing that Ozai was gone seemed to have been enough comfort for her to believe that, somehow, everything would be okay in the end. And Azula would have been lying if she claimed that seemingly delusional optimism didn't make life a little bit easier, since mother was determined to never let them lose hope - especially not after her children had finally started getting along again.
She never stopped to consider that maybe Ursa would find it strange that neither of her children seemed interested in dating anyone, or that Azula had long stopped caring about the fact that she had no friends other than her brother and didn't like any of his friends, or that they have gotten far more comfortable with being physically affectionate towards each other, or that Zuko had no desire to move out of their home - at least not by himself.
And it naturally the idea that maybe, one day, mother would come home early without warning, parking the car a bit farther away from their home, then open the door and go upstairs as quietly as possible had not once crossed Azula's mind.
So, one afternoon, it happened. Her brother had her pinned to the mattress, thursting into her with enough force to make the bed creak as she moaned in delight, loving what he was doing, begging him for more...
Until suddenly the door to his bedroom was open. Their mother was staring at them in what could only be described as pure despair, heartbreak and horror. Eyes wide, shaky hands covering her mouth, tears streaming down her cheeks, pale as a ghost and seemingly frozen in place - unlike Zuko and Azula who, out of pure instinct, pulled away from each other. Zuko was on the floor, scrambling for his clothes as fast as he could, begging Ursa to just hear them out, yet clearly not knowing what the hell he was supposed to say. Azula was still on the bed, covering herself up with the sheets - and feeling her heart sink as Ursa's gaze turned from horrified to accusatory.
Looking like she was going to be sick, their mother rushed to her own room and didn't come out for hours. Zuko stood outside her door, knocking over and over, begging to talk to her, looking more and more distressed each time he heard her cry.
Eventually Azula convinced her brother to come downstairs with her, gave him a glass of water and sat next to him on the couch. Zuko lay down, resting his head on her lap.
She was trying her best to assure him that it would all be fine, but her own anxiety was eating her alive all the same. There was no doubt in her mind that Ursa would never understand or accept their relationship - and that she would never think Zuko was the root of the problem.
Her fears were confirmed when mother demanded her to come to her room for a talk.
"How long?" Ursa asks bluntly, her voice hoarse, her face red and a little swollen after crying so much.
"About a year" Azula answers, struggling to not lower her gaze. She has to try and stand her ground somehow. She still doesn't know for sure how mother intends to 'fix' this, but it's clear it won't be pretty, and she can't make it easy if she wants to have any hope of not letting this split her and Zuko up "How long have you known?"
"Doesn't matter" Ursa takes a step closer and gently puts her hands on Azula's shoulders "Honey, I promise it stays between us until you say otherwise, but please, I need you to be honest with me. Was your brother the only one?"
Azula's jaw dropped and she pushed her mother away from her, outraged and shocked "What, you think I'd just spread my legs to anyone? Thanks a lot!"
"That's not what I meant!"
"Then what the hell did you mean?!"
"I'm just trying to understand-"
"Understand what? If your daughter is the family whore?"
"Azula, just listen to me! Can't you see I'm worried?"
"Worried about what? Do you honestly think Lu Ten and uncle Iroh would ev-"
She stops as the realization dawns on her.
"You think dad did something to me" it wasn't a question.
"Can I really believe anything is beyond him after what he did to your brother?"
"You know he didn't touch me"
"I don't know anything anymore"
"Mom, come on, I spent months in a place that specializes in crazy people. Don't you think they would have noticed if something that terrible had happened?"
"Maybe, maybe not"
She sighs "Dad never touched me, okay? No one hurt me. That's not what's going on"
"Then why?"
"Can you stop acting like this is some mystery you need to solve? I love him"
"Oh, please"
"I do! That's all there is to it! You don't have to like it, but I'm not let you talk about it like it's so unspeakable tragedy!"
"Azula, he's not some boy I don't approve of, you're siblings! What were you thinking?" Ursa had never sounded angrier, and considering how bad the fights in this house used to be when dad was still in the picture, that was saying a lot.
"Mom, come on, you're acting like we killed someone"
"Don't you dare try and downplay what you did, young lady"
"Oh, sure, blame me for it. Zuko wanted it as much as I did, go and ask him if you don't believe me"
"I'm not saying it was all on you. Your brother shouldn't have gone along with it, but you shouldn've have started it either"
"Why are you so sure I'm the one who started it?" Azula asks, crossing her arms.
"Because I know you, and I know your brother. I saw how you acted whenever he so much as talked to a girl for the past five years"
"You think he's any better? Why do you think he was always getting in trouble for picking up fights with every guy at school? He'd just randomly get paranoid that one of them was interested in me and try to scare them away"
"All the more reason for this madness to stop!"
"I'm not crazy! You say you want to understand, but you won't listen to a word I say! We're in love!"
"You're siblings!" Ursa repeats "It just isn't natural"
"Who cares? We're happy!"
"You don't know what you're saying! I don't know how you could possibly think this is okay, but I'm telling you it's over now"
"That's not your decision to make!"
"You're sixteen and you live under my roof. It is my decision, I'm not letting this perversion continue. It's for your own good"
Just as Azula was about to throw all the worst insults she could think of at her mother, Zuko opened. The fact that he had heard everything was written all over his face.
"Mom, can we please just talk?"
"Not now, Zuko"
He steps into the room anyway, and says, as gently as he possibly can "I know this is a lot to take, but I'm asking you to stay out of it"
"Zuko!"
"We're not hurting anyone" he argues.
"You're hurting each other. You might not see it now, but you are" Ursa starts to tear up a bit, but manages to keep her composure "I spoke to your uncle. He'll let you stay with him until you find your own place"
Azula is stunned "You're kicking Zuko out?"
"I'm doing what I have to do" her voice is filled with sorrow "You two can't be around each other anymore, at least for the time being"
"Mom, you can't do this to us"
"My decision is final, Zuko. I'm sorry. Go get your things. Iroh should be here soon"
Azula wants to scream, but she can't make a sound. Watching hopelessly as Zuko gives her one last glance, before turning away and doing as Ursa said.
The first week without him is the hardest. The days seem endless and the loneliness she feels at night is almost unbearable. She can't bring herself to eat almost anything, won't talk, won't watch TV or read her books, and just barely has the strength to get out of bed either to shower or to beg her mother to at least let her call Zuko. Ursa always says no, and will at most report on Iroh saying everything is fine.
On the next Monday she can't bring herself to cry anymore, and turns the house upside down when Ursa is at work, trying to find her phone, but can't. Mother really is keeping it with her all the time. She spends the rest of the week trying to distract herself from her sadness, and giving the woman the silent treatment.
On Sunday, Iroh comes visit. He says Zuko will be moving in with Lu Ten, and asks to speak to Azula. Mother makes the mistake of letting him, and Azula does the same just to have a new target for all her anger.[
"I know you're hurting right now, but one day you'll realize your mother is just doing what's best for you"
"I see she's not the only one with that delightful advice memorized" Azula retorts sarcastically "Go on, uncle. We're alone, you don't need to pretend to care. You can say what you really think of me"
"I think you're angry"
"You noticed" she rolled her eyes.
"Not at your mother. At yourself. You and your brother had started to form a real bond again, but because of the lines you two have crossed, you're being kept apart."
"I'm sure that little lie helps all of you sleep at night, but no, uncle. I'm not angry at myself. I'm not ashamed of anything I did. Why would I be?"
"You've always been too proud to admit when you've made a mistake. It runs in the family. But deep down I'm sure you know things should have never gotten this far. Your relationship with your brother might still be salvageable you accept that it cannot go back to being what it was. Someday you'll be grateful for what your mother did. You'll find someone who can show you real love, and you'll glad you didn't get in the way of your brother's happiness."
"You still want to believe he secretly hated every second of it, don't you? Sorry to disappoint, but he seemed pretty happy fucking me"
Iroh winced at her words "Can't you hear yourself? Don't you understand the absurd you're saying?"
"It's the truth. Zuko couldn't take his eyes off me the second I started getting prettier. All I had to do was steal one kiss once I stopped caring about getting caught and he took it as an invitation to come to my room in the middle of the night. I was surprised, but I wasn't gonna tell him no. Stop kidding yourself, uncle. He wants this as much as I do, and he's as angry as I am at this circus my mother started. Waste all your time waiting for either of us to regret it if that's what you want, it makes no difference for me. It's not gonna happen"
Mother, of course, scolded her for this. Azula didn't care.
The following week, she finally went back to school. While no one seemed to know why Zuko 'left' suddenly, everyone kind of figured there was some family drama again. Walking through the hallways and feeling like a ton of people were staring and whispering about her brought back unpleasant memories of the first day back from the psychiatric hospital.
Most people didn't give a shit if it was insensitive to ask about her brother getting disfigured, her dad getting arrested, and/or her going crazy from it all, so she was prepared for the inevitable questions on why their mom had suddenly kicked her precious baby boy out, and why that meant Azula had to stay home for a while, but it did not make it less irritating.
She had not expected two people in particular to reach out to her, but they seemingly appeared out of thin air while she was fixing her make-up in the bathroom.
"So, your mom finally found out about the two of you?"
"Mai! What a rude thing to ask!" Ty Lee reprimanded before Azula could tell her to fuck off.
"I don't know what you're talking about" she said, looking fixing her make-up.
"Come on, we've lived next to each other since we were five and I'm not as dense as your family. I knew it was only a matter of time before you two got caught"
"Uh, should we really talk about this here?" Ty Lee asked, frantically looking around.
"We're not talking about this at all" Azula retorted, not liking how over-familiar they were being when they had not been friends for years.
"We're just worried about you"
"Sure you are, Ty. Now get out of my way" she said, pushing them both away, but Mai caught her arm.
"Listen, you dumbass. You might be an insufferable bitch, but you're slightly less of a bitch when Zuko is around. You guys might be weird, but we still don't think it's fair that you don't get to be together. Just letting you know you can vent to us if you want to. Don't want you to go nuts again because you're keeping it all bottled up. I don't need that on my conscious"
Azula didn't know how to respond to that, and Mai wasn't ever the talkative type, so she left.
"What she means is" Ty Lee said in a gentle tone "We know we haven't really been on good terms for a while now, but that doesn't mean we don't care about you."
She still didn't know what to say, so she just allowed her (former?) friend to walk with her back to the classroom.
"Everything will work out in the end, you'll see" Ty Lee said, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.
Azula hoped she was right.