Dark Mood

Hutch was feeling edgy. He'd woken up from a bad dream, which set his nerves jangling and he couldn't seem to shake the feeling. Now, over half way through the shift, he was struggling not to bite the head off anyone that made the mistake of approaching him for meaningless conversation.

He looked up from his desk as Dawson approached, just in time to see Starsky shake his head in warning at their fellow officer. Hutch ground his teeth and stood up abruptly, missing bumping into Dawson by the barest inch. Dawson kept walking and pretended to retrieve something from the filing cabinet.

Hutch stalked out of the squad room and headed to the men's washroom, where he splashed water on his face and stared disconsolately into the mirror.

"What's wrong with me? Why am I feeling this grumpy?" he wondered.

Back in the squad room, Starsky made a decision, tidied both their desks, picked up Hutch's pale brown leather jacket and dashed out to intercept his partner before he returned.

"What's up? Did we get a call out?" Hutch asked as he accepted the proffered jacket.

"In a manner of speaking," Starsky responded cryptically.

Once they were in the Torino, Starsky picked up the mic and informed Dispatch that they would be patrolling the retail district for the last ninety minutes of their shift. Not speaking, he eased the car out of the lot and headed north. Hutch glared at his partner for five silent minutes then sighed and turned to stare out of the window instead.

Starsky didn't make the mistake of talking or putting on the radio, he just left Hutch to have some peace and quiet.

Towards the end of shift, Starsky drove back towards the city centre, making sure they were near Vinnie's gym as they went off duty.

"What are we doing here?" Hutch asked.

Starsky turned to face his partner, one arm resting along the back of the seat.

"You need to hit something and I'd rather it wasn't me!"

Hutch blinked.

"Go on, go hit a punching bag for as long as you need to. I'll wait for ya and then we'll go to Huggy's and relax."

Hutch thought about arguing but then nodded and got out of the car. He leaned back in through the open window and quietly said, "Thanks...and sorry. I don't know why I'm so irritable today, but I hope you're right and this will help."

As Hutch headed into the gym, Starsky watched him with a thoughtful expression. He realised he had figured out what was wrong with his partner even if Hutch hadn't worked it out yet. A certain anniversary was coming up and Hutch's heart had started revisiting his loss even before his brain had acknowledged the date. Starsky would try to get his partner talking tonight so he could share the pain and help it become more bearable. Because he knew from experience that a pain, shared with a friend who understood, was made lighter and that lightening of the load made the creeping in of eventual joy possible.