No Reward Without Risk

by Glitterb1234

A series of flashbacks in the same universe as Double or Nothing, covering the early days of Edythe and Beau's relationship.

5. Chapter 5: The Beginning

Well hello there. It has been a while, that's for sure. Life has been hectic, honestly I've not been in a great headspace for some of it, and boy oh boy, has writer's block been kicking my butt. But despite everything, this absolute monster of a final chapter is done at last! I had planned for it to cover a full month up to when these two finally become officially boyfriend and girlfriend, but I also wanted to do this in Edythe's POV to make the story nice and symmetrical, and quickly found that trying to do both just wasn't working - dear Miss Cullen simply didn't want to miss anything out with messy time skips. So, I resigned myself to just going until I reached a comfortable stopping point. Hence the... *checks word count* (holy moly) over 27k final total on this sucker. Given how many of you have said you enjoy my version of Beau and Edythe, I didn't think you'd mind the length too much :P

Thank you so much to everyone who has waited so patiently for each chapter of this and my other works. For those interested, I have switched back to Double or Despair now, though I'm afraid that as usual, there's no telling how long it will take me to get out the next installment. Be assured, I am not done playing around with Beau and Edythe; I have lots of planned side stories in this universe, and they will definitely be making more than a passing appearance.

But for now, this is the end. Or rather...

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Chapter 5: The Beginning

It felt at once familiar and strange to be standing at the Swans' front door. Familiar because I had been here so often; strange because only once had I approached the front of the house. It was refreshing to be an invited guest rather than a vaguely obsessive stalker.

It was also good just to be out of my house. Last night hadn't been nearly as bad as before, a combination of Earnest intervening before I'd got inside and the fact that most of them had given up trying to talk me out of my lunacy. Alice had been on my side from the start, of course; Eleanor had slipped into a state of bemused acceptance after our talk, and Jasper was wary but trusted his wife's judgement. Rosalie and Edward remained the only holdouts, and both seemed to have realised that chewing me out again wasn't going to get them anywhere and had mercifully left me alone. As for Carine… well, that had certainly been an interesting conversation.

"Edythe, may I speak with you for a moment?" my mother called through her study door as I passed.

My heart sank just a little. I'd been hoping to get to my room without being cornered by any of my family, but apparently that was a foolish hope. Still, I knew better than to ignore the summons, though the petulant teenager part of my brain very much wanted to march up the stairs and make her come to me. But I was still riding the high of tonight actually going well despite all my fears, so I backtracked the few steps I had taken past the door and pushed it open.

Carine was sitting behind her desk, poring over one of her many books. She closed it as I entered, sliding a leather bookmark between the pages; she had no need to physically mark her place, of course, but it was a habit she'd picked up among human colleagues and indulged even in private. Her smile was warm, and my budding nerves settled.

"Things with Beau went well then?" she asked pleasantly, gesturing for me to sit in the chair opposite her.

I could have remained standing and been perfectly comfortable, but I took the offered seat. "Very well. He took everything much more calmly than I ever could have hoped."

"So you didn't deny anything? You confirmed all his suspicions?" There was no censure in Carine's tone, but I felt the slight sting of reprimand all the same.

I couldn't look at my mother as I spoke, my eyes tracing the minute fibres in the rug beneath me. "He knew… he knew the truth, and he still wanted to see me. He knew I could kill him, and he wasn't afraid. Even with everything he has learned, his desires around me haven't changed and… I know it isn't smart. I know it could be a danger to us all, but…" I finally looked up then, and I could feel the confusion and wonder fighting for space on my face, the true gravity of this evening sinking in now that I had time to talk it over with someone else. "He said it didn't matter, Carine. He wanted to know the truth, but he would have let me keep my secret. And he doesn't care what I am — he wants me anyway."

Carine was smiling slightly. "He loves you."

I had accepted my love for Beau already, to the point that it now felt like it had been a fact of my entire existence and not a revelation only a few weeks old. But this was the first time anyone had ever suggested he might have the same feelings for me. A bright, fizzy sort of happiness bubbled up inside me, and I smiled without consciously deciding to.

"I think so," I whispered; the idea felt so fragile, so impossible, that I was afraid even speaking it too loudly would cause it to shatter.

"And you love him." This she seemed even more certain of.

I nodded, no hesitation or prevarication this time. "Absolutely. I know we will have our challenges, but I simply can't help hoping, if I can just hold on to that truth, it will all be alright."

Carine's smile grew wider and her eyes sparkled affectionately; her wishes were full of my happiness, of Beau and I working out together despite everything, and it was a special kind of satisfaction to know my mother supported me in this.

"Well then," she said, folding her hands together on top of her book, all business now. "I suppose the only other question is where he got his information from. I gather your brother couldn't glean the particulars?"

This was, of course, the crux of the matter. Love was one thing, and it could accomplish great things when given the opportunity. But it was equally important to keep our secret safe, and so naturally Carine was concerned with how Beau had discovered the truth – and who else might find out in the same way.

"He said it was some old Quileute stories," I explained, unable to help the slight frustration that edged into my voice. "Apparently Bonnie Black heard Beau and I were getting close and tried to warn him and Chief Swan that I'm bad news. She wouldn't give them any details, so he convinced her daughter to elaborate for her."

"Hmm." My mother was frowning now, though more thoughtful than angry. "That is concerning. I don't wish to cause undue tension by citing the treaty – it was always meant to protect them more than us. But if one of their young people would so easily give up our secret…"

I gave a small shrug. "According to Beau, the girl didn't believe a word she was saying. She was simply trying to explain her mother's animosity towards us. I don't think it's worth the hassle of calling her out on it, not when the impact is so small."

She nodded in agreement. "Yes, quite so. Better not to rock the boat. You impressed upon Beau the necessity of secrecy, I'm sure?"

"In the most basic terms. I didn't fully get into the Volturi of it all, not when he was already having to process so much. I will make sure to give him more details soon," I promised.

"All in good time, my darling, all in good time," Carine assured me, waving a dismissive hand. "There is nothing quite like the blush of first love. Enjoy it while you can." She let slip a rare playful grin. "Plenty of time to terrify the poor boy later."

I sighed. I knew my mother was joking, and at the time, I'd laughed along with her. But after a night left alone with my thoughts, a thousand different scenarios had occurred to me where I might do just that. Beau had claimed he wasn't afraid, and I believed him… so far. Yet I had a persistent sinking feeling that at some point I was going to say something that tipped him over the edge. Even now, I couldn't help worrying that the time we'd spent apart would have let everything truly sink in for him, and all that enthusiasm to see me again would be gone. Humans could be very changeable, after all.

Stop it, I told myself firmly. Have more faith than that.

Before I could try to talk myself out of it (again) I knocked on the door.

Inside the house, there was a clatter and a small splash, as if someone had dropped a plate into a bowl of dishwater.

"I'll get it!" Beau's voice hollered from somewhere towards the front of the building; further in, I could hear the drone of a TV sportscaster and a grunt of acknowledgement from Charlie that didn't have a hope of reaching his son's ears. Then came the sound of fabric rubbing against skin and hurried footsteps moving closer to the door. It was practically thrown open, revealing Beau, a dish towel in one hand, a light flush across his cheeks, and a look of anxious anticipation that melted into a wide smile when he saw me.

"Hi," he said, a little breathless but so clearly thrilled that I could no longer doubt that his feelings remained unchanged.

"Good morning," I replied, my lips stretched in an involuntary smile.

We stood there just smiling at each other for a moment until Beau suddenly jumped like he'd just touched static and moved quickly to the side. "Oh, er, come in, come in. Sorry."

"It's alright," I assured him, stepping across his threshold and delighting quietly in the way his heart hammered at my closer proximity.

"I was just, um, finishing up the dishes," Beau stuttered, jerking a thumb over his shoulder in the rough direction of their kitchen. "Do you mind? You can go sit in the living room with Dad if you want. Or I can leave them for later…"

"Oh no, don't let me interrupt your work." I gestured for him to go ahead, then followed him as he returned to the kitchen. He looked startled, but quickly shifted to pleased. I perched in one of the spindly wooden kitchen chairs and watched as he fished out the cereal bowl he had apparently dropped into the sink when I knocked and finished wiping it out with a sponge, laying it gently on the draining board next to what looked like the detritus of a few small meals. The only dirty things left now were a handful of cutlery, no more than two of anything in the pile; he dumped the whole lot into the water and began meticulously wiping each one down.

Footsteps from out in the hall alerted me to his father's approach, but I carefully didn't turn until I saw Beau's head flicker sideways, a tell-tale sign that he could hear it too. Matching human mannerisms had become second nature to me after so many years, yet I was beginning to realise how out of practice I was with working out exactly how acute their senses could be.

"Well, hey there, Edythe," Charlie said brightly when he saw me. "Beau said you might be stopping by."

I flashed him my best disarming smile. "Morning, Charlie. How are you?"

"Fine, fine." He waved a dismissive hand, uncomfortable with the attention, and quickly changed the subject. "So, you two have anything planned for the day?"

"Not really," Beau hedged, finishing the last of his polishing and turning around to lean against the counter, drying his hands on the dish towel again. "I figured we'd probably just hang around here?"

The shift from statement to question and the uncertain look he gave me would have been more than enough to know he wasn't sold on that idea; reading him closer just for good measure revealed an unmistakable desire to get away from his father, partly to avoid any embarrassing comments but mostly so he could ask some of the thousands of questions spinning through his mind.

I gave him a knowing smile. "Actually, I wondered if we might go for a little walk. I know some nice trails we could get to fairly quickly."

"If it's a walk you want, there's a path you can get on right out back of the house," Charlie commented. "Beau knows those woods like the back of his hand, you could do a loop that takes you further into town, and none of the brush is too thick if you wanted to go off trail a bit."

Beau raised a disbelieving eyebrow at his father. "You spent my entire childhood telling me not to go off the trails."

Charlie smirked under his moustache. "Because you were an accident-prone kid who didn't know left from right until you were nine. I wasn't going to be the Chief of Police that let his own son get lost in the woods. By this point, I figure I've taught you enough that anything that happens to you out there is your own damn fault."

"Thanks so much, Dad." Beau rolled his eyes, then turned back to me. "There is a nice spot I know not far from here that I'd love to show you. Is that okay?"

"Of course," I said, smiling brightly as I stood up. "Do you need anything, or should we get going?"

"Just have to put some shoes on." He pushed away from the counter. "I think I left my boots by the back door. Come on."

He led the way down the hall into the living room, where the TV was still playing the news. I heard the fridge open and close in the kitchen, then Charlie came in with a soda can in his hand, settling back into the recliner. Beau paid him no mind, and it would have been clear that this was typical for Saturday morning in the Swan household, even if I hadn't observed it for myself several times now.

Just as Beau had predicted, a pair of well-worn hiking boots had been abandoned by a door on the far side of the room. Beside it, another door stood ajar, and though I was fairly certain where it led, curiosity compelled me to peek inside. Sure enough, there were the familiar blue walls and sturdy, sensible furniture of Beau's room. Just like the front door, it was a sight both familiar and yet strange, because I was used to looking in from the window. From this angle, I could see things I had never noticed before – a lumpy bean bag that looked like it had seen better days sat in one corner, photos tacked up on the wall above his desk, and a single stripe of purple paint across the base of the windowsill. My curiosity was piqued; I didn't wish to make assumptions, but it hardly fit the decor of the rest of the room, which favoured typical boy clutter and sports memorabilia. I filed it away as a question to ask later, adding to my ever-expanding mental list.

"My room," Beau explained unnecessarily; he had finished lacing his boots while I was busy being nosey and now had his hands shoved in his pockets, a slightly embarrassed look on his face. "You can go in and look around, if you want."

"Just keep the door open," Charlie commented, a playful smile on his face.

Beau turned pink and was overwhelmed with a desire for the ground to open and swallow him up.

I smiled and gave him the next best thing. "I'd like to take that walk first. Maybe you can give me a full tour of the house later."

Beau chuckled as he pushed his bedroom door fully closed and twisted the lock on the other door open. "You've basically seen it all. There's just Bella and Dad's rooms upstairs. And the bathroom."

"A very important room to know the location of," I replied sagely, delighting in the laugh I got in return.

We crossed the lawn behind the house with barely a foot between us; I felt the urge to reach out and take his hand, but couldn't help wondering if the gesture would be well-received. I wished I had worn gloves so there could be some slight insulation between his comforting warmth and my incessant chill. There were pairs in a few of my jacket pockets for appearance's sake, but I didn't have to check to know this wasn't one of them.

"Can I ask a weird question?" Beau said suddenly, interrupting my fretting as we entered the treeline and started down the small, wooded path behind the house.

I took the distraction eagerly. "You can ask me anything you like, Beau."

Even with this permission, he looked uncomfortable and stuttered as he spoke. "Do you actually… need to know where the bathroom is? I mean, is that something you… you said you don't eat but is there…" He huffed. "God, this is so inappropriate, I'm sorry."

The hunch of his shoulders and the way he was so clearly second-guessing himself tugged on my still heart and overrode any other concerns. I laid what I hoped was a comforting hand on his arm; he stopped and turned to face me fully. "It's alright. I said you could ask me anything, and I meant it. It's natural for you to be curious, and I'd rather you ask than go on wondering, even if it seems like a silly thing."

"Okay," Beau murmured, sounding a little dazed. I realised I was looking rather intensely into his eyes and that his heart had started hammering in response; not wanting to risk any harm coming to it, I turned away, moving my hand so it was hooked around his elbow and continuing down the path. He followed without protest, stumbling slightly but keeping himself upright.

"To answer your question," I went on calmly. "No, I won't ever need the bathroom. I might excuse myself a time or two to keep your father from getting suspicious, but like I told you before, none of those systems work anymore for me."

"Huh." Beau took a few more steps in silence, then chuckled lightly. "Wow, what a way to start a conversation. Can you tell I've never done this before?" He shot me a sheepish smile.

"Neither have I," I reminded him. "Don't worry, I'm sure I'll put my foot in my mouth at some point, too."

He looked doubtful but didn't comment. "So, pretending that none of that actually happened, what should we talk about instead? Because all I can think of is 'how've you been?' which feels weird when we only saw each other last night."

"It's as good a start as any other," I assured him. "What did you do with the rest of your evening?"

"Not a lot," he admitted. "Mostly pretended to read while actually replaying all the stuff we talked about over and over."

Suddenly my worries from before came back with a vengeance; I had to work hard to keep my burgeoning anxiety from showing in my voice. "And did you come to any new conclusions?"

"No, not really." He gave me a sideways glance and smirked slightly. "You're still waiting for me to get scared, aren't you?"

"Just a little," I conceded. "Then again, you haven't heard all the gory details yet. I'm sure that eventually something will send you running for the hills."

I hadn't meant my words as a challenge, but Beau seemed to take them that way; his shoulders straightened, and the smirk turned into a full-blown grin. "Oh yeah? Try me."

I quirked an eyebrow at him disbelievingly. "Are you sure?"

Abruptly, he turned off the path into a tiny hollow where a fallen trunk had made a natural seat, sheltered on all sides by dense foliage. Beau sat down on the mossy bench, looking as comfortable as if it were the sofa in his living room, and gestured for me to join him. "Bring it, vampire girl."

His outward confidence was fairly convincing, but such a turn from the nervousness he'd been projecting not so long ago that I had to read him, just to be certain. There was an evident desire to impress me, to hide whatever fear he might be feeling, and to show he could handle being with me. He wanted me to sit down and hold his hand again, a wish I was more than happy to oblige. Once I was seated, I could see at once why he liked this spot; though the path was only steps away, we were completely hidden from it, enveloped in lush greenery with only the sounds of the forest to disturb us. I wove my fingers through Beau's, unable to find the delight I usually felt at the way his heart raced in response. My mind was going to dark places, no matter how hard I tried to stop it, and an annoying internal voice that sounded disturbingly like my brother reminded me that an elevated heart rate could come from fear just as easily as excitement.

And yet, when I looked at his face, I saw only wonder and the edge of a pleased smile as he turned our hands back and forth gently, as if to study every angle of their intertwining. He locked eyes with me again, and the smile turned knowing.

"You knew I wanted you to do that," he guessed.

"I did," I confirmed. "I can see a lot of things when I look at you. Perhaps that scares you?"

He shrugged one shoulder, not seeming especially concerned. "Depends what you see, I guess."

Now it felt like he was challenging me, and my regrettable competitive streak couldn't let that stand. So I turned to face him as fully as I could while we sat side by side, doing nothing to hide my intense scrutiny of his face as I read as deep as I could go.

"You want to stay here and talk for as long as I'll let you," I murmured, a small smile curling my lips. "You feel as if you have a million questions to ask me, some of which you're not sure if you want the answers to, but you want to ask anyway." I tilted my head to one side slightly as the deeper wants came through. "There are lots of things you want for other people. I noticed that about you a while ago. You want your sister and your friends to be happy, and your parents. But you still don't want them to get back together." I felt my forehead crease and ventured one of my own long list of questions. "May I ask about that? It's a little unusual for someone with your family situation."

Beau shook his head just slightly. "I guess I just never thought of them as an item, you know? It makes sense that a lot of kids whose parents get divorced miss them being together and want to have that whole family reunion thing. But we were so little when they split up, Bella and I don't remember that time in our lives. Can't miss what you never had, right?" He gave another flippant shrug. "It's always been her and Mom, me and Dad, two different houses, two different cities, getting together a couple of times a year but never being a unit. That's our normal. Sure, it would be nice to be like other families, but we are still a family, even being so far apart."

"That makes sense," I agreed. "Families come in all shapes and sizes. I know that better than most."

"Exactly." He grinned. "You still haven't scared me, though, if that's what you're trying to do. Come on, what else do you see?"

I indulged him, of course; I was coming to realise that there was little I would deny this boy, whether or not his desires were spoken aloud. Looking deep into his eyes once more, I sifted past all those outfacing wants to find the more selfish ones, and was pleased but not exactly surprised to find how heavily I featured. "You want me. You want more days like this, where we just sit and talk. You want to go out again. You'd like to dance together again." I smiled wider. "I'm glad I could change your mind about that."

He shrugged one shoulder bashfully. "It's not so bad with the right partner."

"Very true," I agreed, and kept going.

Even though so much was the same, a few of his desires about me had changed. The sweet, innocent ones were still there, but there were others creeping in, ones I was more used to seeing in boys his age, and yet somehow they didn't bother me as much coming from Beau.

I smirked. "You want to see me in that dress again… or perhaps something even more revealing. You'd quite like to give kissing another try, and not just on the cheek this time. You want to find out if all of me is as cold as my hands." I stopped, mostly because the shade of red he'd turned was concerning me and he'd screwed his eyes tight shut in obvious mortification. "There's no need to be embarrassed, Beau. It's a perfectly normal desire to have, and trust me, I've seen much worse."

His eyes popped open, and he looked aghast. "That doesn't make it right! It's just so… disrespectful. And worse, because I know you can see it. I'm sorry, Edythe." He looked away, shame painted across every inch of his face.

I lifted my free hand to cup his still burning cheek and turn him back towards me. When he met my eyes again, I gave him a soft smile. "As the saying goes, you're only human. There's only so much you can control before nature takes over, especially at your age. And I know we're still in the early days here, but I can also see that those aren't the only things you want from me, which certainly sets you apart from the average fifteen-year-old boy, trust me." He still didn't look convinced, so I took it a step further. "Would it help to hear that I am not entirely opposed to the idea?"

The hopeful wonder was back again, and it was quickly becoming my favourite of his many expressions. There was something thrilling about his utter disbelief that I might return any of his feelings; I had a new understanding of Tanya and Ivan, though there was a world of difference between their passing flings and this… I didn't even know what to call this yet. Over two dozen languages had embedded themselves in my memory, and I couldn't find a word in any of them that fully described what Beau meant to me.

But I hadn't banished his uncertainty completely yet. "Not entirely opposed? So you don't completely want… that?"

I sighed. Of course, he was too perceptive to miss my careful wording. "It isn't a lack of desire on my part, please believe that. If I were human too… But I'm not, and so there are other things that must be taken into account, things our classmates don't need to worry about."

Beau pursed his lips. "Is it… my age? Because I totally get it, it's kind of a legal grey area."

"That's one way to look at it." I couldn't help another small smile. "But no, that isn't what I meant. We can't exactly close an age gap of multiple decades, and honestly, if it were only a matter of waiting a few years for you to be an adult, it would be much simpler. Do you remember last night when I told you how afraid I am of hurting you?" When he nodded sombrely, I went on. "You can't imagine the amount of focus it takes to be gentle with you, to do this…" I tightened the hand joined with his. "And not crush every bone in your fingers. To do this…" I stroked his cheek with my other thumb. "And not shatter your skull. I could do it so easily, and if I were at all distracted, if I were too lost in feeling… If and when we get to take that step, it is so monumentally important that I get it right. I am stronger than you can possibly fathom, Beau, and so very dangerous, even setting aside the pull I feel toward your blood. When it comes to the physical side of our relationship, I will always have to hold back to keep you safe."

Beau looked thoughtful, and it was both gratifying to see him take my words so seriously and profoundly frustrating that they were necessary. I was already tiring of all these mixed feelings, of constantly being pulled in two different directions, caught between what was safe and sensible and what I wanted. This had all seemed so much simpler when it was only a matter of asking a boy to a dance; I couldn't help but wonder if I had been too flippant in my choices then, if I had failed to consider all the potential ramifications and ended up dooming us both to destruction.

No, I told myself firmly. That's Edward and his worrying getting to you. It is done now – regrets and remonstrations will get you nowhere. Look forward, not back.

All this passed through my head in a matter of seconds; Beau was still mulling over my warnings about danger, entirely unaware of the dark turn my thoughts were taking and my battles to get them under control. He raised his free hand to cover mine where I still cupped his cheek, curling his fingers under my palm and bringing our hands down to hang between us. Before I could worry that this would be the moment his remarkable calm would finally be pushed to its limits, he threaded our fingers more firmly together and smiled, his eyes full of a fresh surge of hope.

"So this is a relationship now?" he asked, his tone almost playful.

I laughed weakly. "That's your takeaway? Really?"

"What else am I going to say?" He sat back a little, taking on a mocking voice. "'Nope, sorry Edythe, forget all that stuff I said yesterday, I've realised you're actually a horrible monster, and it does matter to me now that I know we can't do it.'" He scoffed. "Like you said, that's not the only thing I want, or even the biggest. All that's really bothering me is thinking about you having to work so hard. Is there anything I can do to make it easier?"

It was so open, so earnest, I truly felt as if my dead heart would melt. "There you go again, being far too understanding. I don't feel as if I deserve it all."

"Well, get used to it, because I think you do." His eyes twinkled as he grinned widely. "And you still haven't scared me, by the way."

"'I could kill you at any moment' isn't scary enough for you?"

"Just because you can, doesn't automatically mean you will," he pointed out sagely. "And I don't think you will."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Oh really? What makes you so certain?"

"I don't know." Beau's nose scrunched in the most adorable way, his whole expression radiating disbelief. "I guess I can't picture it, you know? You just don't seem like the sort of person who could hurt someone else like that."

"But I have," I informed him quietly. "I've killed people before. More than once."

Let him brush this off, I thought ruefully. If he really thinks it doesn't matter…

To his credit, Beau was serious as the grave as he asked the inevitable follow-up question. "How many times?"

"Ten." There was a perverse sort of pride in being able to summon up the exact number so quickly; I knew that even with their flawless memories, both of my brothers had lost count of their kills. I had one of the better records among the rest of us, with only Rose and Carine able to claim lower totals.

Beau was no longer meeting my eye, his gaze turned down to our hands but unfocused, like he didn't truly see them.

"More or less than you were expecting?" I whispered, afraid to break the moment but desperately needing to fill the silence.

"I… never thought about a number, exactly." His voice was just as soft, a little distant, but not angry or disappointed or scared – at least, not yet. "I mean, when you said you still want human blood… I guess it was silly of me not to think you'd tasted it a few times." Finally he looked up, and still there was no censure in his eyes, only sombre curiosity; all he wanted was to understand. "Was there a reason, or was it just… hunger? Is that the right word?"

"We usually say thirst," I corrected gently. "And yes, they were all just that. Just… lapses in control, with the most devastating of consequences. Most were in my first year, when I was still learning to resist. Edward and Carine did their best to stop me, but they weren't always fast or strong enough."

Beau nodded slowly, the tiniest of frowns creasing his forehead. "Do you prefer it? To animals, I mean."

"Oh, there's no comparison." I chuckled darkly. "How best to describe it? Can you imagine living your whole life on nothing but steamed vegetables, then suddenly getting a whiff of steak or bacon? Then, once you've had a taste, going back to what you had before feels almost impossible, even if it's what you want, what you believe is right. Especially if almost everyone else you meet questions why you even bother to resist, because who wouldn't just eat the meat when it's so much better?" I sighed. "Perhaps that isn't the right analogy. I'm not sure human society has an appropriate equivalent. There's more of a feeling of… craving to it, an itch that only one thing will truly scratch."

"Why do you bother, then?" The frown was getting deeper, a mixture of confusion and concern that was close to the last thing I'd expected from him when this confession inevitably came. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you do, because I'm guessing we never would have met if you lived the other way. But why be vegetarian at all if it's harder? Why did Carine do it, and all the rest of you copy her?"

I took an extra few moments to form my answer, wanting to get the wording exactly right so he would understand. "Carine grew up in a time when all these myths and monsters were not so unbelievable. Vampires were a secret to the world at large, but there were still some who remembered the stories, warped as they were by time, and believed in them. She was particularly raised to hate and fear our kind, and it was perhaps that which made the transition more difficult for her. She never consciously chose to try animals, she only knew she didn't want to hurt humans. It was… a discovery, more than a decision. I can't say exactly what made her different, whether it was that upbringing or something more fundamental, something baked into her nature as a person. I'm inclined toward the latter, given that all the rest of us feel as she does without that background behind us." It was my turn to gaze into the middle distance now. "None of us want to hurt people. When we do feed on humans, it's wonderful in the moment, euphoric even. But afterwards, we can't seem to help but feel the weight of the life we took, in a way that others of our kind just don't experience. To them, one of you is much the same as another, little more than cattle. But we see it differently. We want to hold on to whatever humanity we have left. We don't want to be monsters."

For a long moment, there was silence, nothing but the quiet sounds of the surrounding forest. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves in the trees and the underbrush. A few birds fluffed their feathers and twittered, too quiet and too far away for Beau to hear. If I strained just a little, I could still barely hear the hum of the TV back in the Swans' living room.

"Well," Beau finally said, the frown gone again and something oddly like admiration in his face. "I can say for sure that you don't seem like a monster to me. And honestly, you're even more impressive now, which I didn't think was possible."

My smile spread without permission. "So you're still not scared? After all that?"

"Maybe just a little bit scared," he admitted, his mouth twisting sideways and a playful twinkle in his eye. "But I'm not running."

Not yet, that treacherous little voice whispered.

"So…" Beau said after a few moments of silence. "Taking things way back to when we were trying to have a normal conversation, I never asked how your evening went. Were your brothers and sisters as mad as you were expecting?"

I shook my head, grateful for the distraction. "No, my father intervened before they could really get going. To be honest, most of them have decided to leave well enough alone now. Maybe they think I've lost my mind." I couldn't help smirking. "Edward would know for sure, of course."

"Right, because he can…" He gestured vaguely to his head. "Does that ever get weird? Or invasive or whatever?"

"Oh, frequently," I chuckled. "But after over eight decades, I've got used to the lack of privacy. Between all the talents and the super hearing, it's almost impossible to keep a secret in our house."

"I can imagine." Beau grinned, then got just a touch more serious. "So, we're good? I mean, they're not up in arms telling you not to do this anymore?"

"No, that's all done. I had a brief conversation with my mother, but that was really only to confirm what you knew and where you got your information from." I stroked the back of his hand with my thumb, revelling in the warmth emanating from our still joined hands. "You have her approval, by the way. So whenever you get around to meeting her, you've no need to be anxious."

"That's good to know. We should probably organise that soon, or chances are I'll end up crossing paths with her in the emergency room." He laughed.

I frowned. "I'd really rather you didn't."

"Not exactly the best way to introduce myself to your mom, is it?" he agreed, still smiling like we were sharing some joke.

"More to the point, I don't want to think about what might happen to land you in the hospital," I corrected. "Or have I not made it clear enough how much concern I have for your wellbeing?"

Beau looked a little startled by my seriousness. "I didn't mean to… of course, I'll try not to get hurt that bad. I'm sorry, Edythe."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, filling my head with the scent of him and for once welcoming the burn in my throat; it was still at the forefront of my consciousness after our earlier conversation, and I knew it was something I was going to have to be particularly conscious of as we moved forward, in a way I hadn't been since I was that unstable newborn. Keeping a handle on that most base of desires was another burden I had to take on in the interests of maintaining his life and safety.

"Are you okay?" Beau asked tentatively. "God, this is why I shouldn't try to be funny."

"It's alright," I assured him, opening my eyes and feeling my heart melt at the miserable look on his face. "Most of the time, I find you very funny. That's just one topic I would rather we didn't joke about."

"Duly noted." He nodded firmly, his features shifting to an expression of adorable determination. He freed one of his hands to give a smart little salute, and I couldn't help laughing.

"You see?" I managed to get out between the giggles. "Very funny."

Beau laughed with me, then got us back on track. "So, you avoided a fight with your siblings, talked to your mom and then, what? Early to bed?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him, my smile lingering. "You would consider that early? It was gone ten when you dropped me off."

He shrugged. "For teenagers on a Friday night? Yeah, it's kind of early. Like I said, I stayed up for a while. But I know some people value their sleep, even when they don't have anywhere to be the next day."

"Well, I planned to be here this morning," I reminded him. "But regardless, the time wasn't really a concern for me. There isn't really such a thing as a late night when you don't sleep."

I had admittedly dropped that little tidbit abruptly on purpose, because I was beginning to enjoy the dumbfounded look I got from him when I casually revealed some new element of vampire lore. Now, his eyes widened in surprise – certainly not the biggest reaction I'd elicited, but satisfying all the same.

"You don't sleep?" he asked incredulously. "What, ever? I mean, I knew that whole sleeping by day, up at night thing had to be a myth, but… never?"

"Not one moment since November 11th, 1919," I confirmed.

"Wow." He blinked owlishly a few times, then cocked his head to one side curiously. "So, what do you do all night? I mean, I struggle to find stuff to do when I have a free afternoon and no homework. I can't imagine trying to fill up twenty-four hours a day for over eighty years."

"Oh, I find ways to occupy myself," I assured him. "School takes up a good chunk of time, of course, and I have to do my homework, too." Even though at this point, I could probably just keep a bank of essays and assignments to recycle from school to school. "There aren't meal times in the same sense that you have, but we like to go on hunting expeditions as a family, or in little groups. So that's a few hours every week or so. Aside from that, I do a lot of reading, and personal study. I listen to music, or play, when the mood takes me."

"You play music? Like an actual instrument?" Beau looked very impressed by this and immediately developed a new wish to hear me perform at some point in the near future.

"My human mother always loved music," I explained, giving a small shrug. "That's one thing I remember about her. She taught my brother and I to play the piano when we were young, and it's something we've both kept up with over the years. Though I tend to favour the violin these days, and I've been known to pick up a guitar from time to time."

Beau was still beaming like I'd told him I was a famous orchestra soloist. "Wow. That's so cool!"

I laughed disbelievingly. "Honestly, Beau, it's like you've never met anyone who played an instrument before."

"I haven't really," he remarked dismissively. "At least, not well. I had to do some performances in elementary school, but they always put me on the triangle or something else I couldn't mess up." His smile didn't waver, even as he spoke so poorly of his own ability. "Mom plays piano, but it's mostly just a hobby, and of course, I don't get to hear her that often. She didn't get very far with trying to make Bella take lessons." He snickered. "What sort of songs do you like to play?"

"A little of everything, I suppose. The classics, naturally, and some contemporary, although I must say I have no patience for the deliberate discord some composers insist on using." I shuddered. "It sounds particularly awful on strings. I always feel as if I'm torturing my poor violin, not to mention anyone who happens to be listening. At times, I play with Edward as well. He likes to write his own pieces, and sometimes he wants a duet part… and sometimes I just want to give him one, regardless." I smirked. "A few of my other family members play too, so I'll accompany them. But they're usually busy, and none of them have quite the same passion for it that we do."

"What do they do with their nights?" Beau asked innocently. "I mean, what keeps them so busy?"

I snickered. "Each other, mostly."

"Oh? Oh!" He turned bright pink as understanding dawned. "Because they're all… together and…uh…"

I couldn't help giggling. "Yes, quite. All those urges are still very much there, and with endless time to indulge them… well, I'm sure you can imagine."

"I'm honestly trying not to." He chuckled weakly and huffed out a heavy breath. "If only so I have half a hope of being able to look any of them in the eyes. And just like that, we're back to sex for the second time in one conversation." He rolled his eyes, the slightly embarrassed self-deprecating smile making another appearance. "I am very much living up to the stereotype of fifteen-year-old boys today, aren't I?"

"To be fair, I'm the one who brought it up. Both times," I reminded him, grinning a little mischievously. "Perhaps I'm on a mission to corrupt your innocent little mind with my mature and worldly ways."

"I can confidently say that would be a very easy mission." His eyes were soft as they gazed into mine. "There isn't much I wouldn't do if you asked me to."

My heart swelled. "There you go again, finding exactly the right thing to say. And you think you're no good at this."

"It would be a first if I was," he chuckled, looking down at our hands. "I'm afraid you've definitely got the lion's share of the talents between the two of us."

"Yes, well, I do have a bit of a time advantage," I pointed out. "You can get good at just about anything when you have forever to practise. But really, you don't think there's anything you do well?"

"Not anything that's easy to quantify." He looked discomforted now, and I regretted asking instantly. "I thought that last time you came over, the night of the dance, when you said Dad had all those pictures up because he's proud of me. There isn't really anything else he can show off with. I'm truly awful at sports, I've never really had the chance to try music… I mean, I'm okay at school, but this place is too small for anything like a spelling bee or an academic decathlon." He chuckled humourlessly. "I don't think we even have a chess team, so I guess I escaped going down that dorky route."

"I happen to think being good at chess is quite an admirable skill," I argued. "It's a common pastime in our house. You should see Jasper and Eleanor play with their special rules."

"But I can't even claim that much," he insisted. "You'd probably destroy me if we tried to play. Genuinely, the only thing I'm any good at is reading."

"Alright then," I said decisively, standing up. "Come on."

Beau frowned in confusion but followed me out of his little hidey hole and back onto the path. "Where are we going?"

"Back to your house," I informed him plainly. "I want you to read to me."

"Seriously?" He sounded truly perplexed. "There's got to be a better way to spend your afternoon."

I turned around, stopping a little too fast for him, apparently, because he all but barrelled into me as he failed to stop in time. We were suddenly chest to chest, as close as we had been when we were dancing, closer than we had been since. I had to tip my head right back to look at him and felt the way his breath caught at our closeness. Throwing all caution to the wind, I whispered the quiet confession I hadn't planned to spring on him so soon, but which felt like the only thing I could say at that moment.

"I have spent the better part of the last month watching you, Beau. Every moment has been fascinating to me. Every moment I have wished I could be by your side, to share it all with you. But I held back, because if I got too close, there was a risk that you would discover the truth, and my whole family would suffer as a result. I couldn't see a way that I could have you and keep them safe, even assuming that you wanted me there. There were times when a day like today seemed utterly impossible to me, nothing but a crazy dream that could never come to pass. Yet here we are. You know the truth and you want me anyway. And I want you too. So no, I cannot think of a better way to spend the rest of the day, because any time I get to spend with you is a gift that is beyond precious to me, and it doesn't matter a bit what we are doing. Do you understand?"

Beau didn't answer at first. For a horrible moment, I worried I had finally said too much, that where all the horrors of my past hadn't scared him, this, the true extent of my obsession, would do the job at last. Then his hands, until now hanging limp at his sides, lifted to cradle my face gently.

"You really want to be with me?" he asked, the words barely more than a breath and yet ringing with unmistakable disbelief and fascination.

"I do," I answered just as quietly. His eyes were locked on mine, and I had the oddest sensation of drowning in their blue depths.

"Well, alright then," came the reply, and a new determination entered those eyes. He leaned impossibly closer, his face approaching mine in a way that made his intent quite clear. I had about two seconds to move away – more than enough time for me, and his hands on my face wouldn't hinder me in the slightest. There was only one problem.

I had absolutely no desire to move.

Instead, I let my eyes slide closed and focused on staying completely still. I was hyperaware of every inch of my skin, of the fiery warmth of Beau's hands against my cheeks, of the light wind that brushed across my arms and shifted strands of my hair, of the slight puff of air on my face as he took a final breath in, and then at last the soft, tentative press of his lips against mine.

Before today, I had thought I understood this kind of desire, the urge for this physical connection. I had seen it often enough in others, but all that paled in the face of experiencing it myself. It was a horrible cliché, but it truly felt like a firework went off behind my eyes. All I could feel, all I could focus on, was that one small point of contact, so insignificant and yet so much. All other sensations faded into the background, like a hum of white noise, easily ignored. Emotions, wants, hungers that I had never been subjected to before flooded my senses, and it was suddenly very difficult to remember to be still, to remember even why I should. Beau's pulse pounded in his lips and seemed to reverberate through every inch of me; I had a wild momentary fantasy that the frantic pounding might actually make my long dead heart start to beat again, too.

A second into the kiss, the wild, euphoric bliss I was suddenly engulfed in apparently took over Beau, too. He pressed even closer in, his fingers tightening, catching and crumpling the hair just behind my ears. His lips parted, a shaky breath passing through them, and his head turned, as if acting without his permission, seeking a better angle. Had I opened my mouth too, we would have fit together like puzzle pieces, perfectly designed for one another.

I wanted so badly to follow that urge.

But other wants were making themselves known, that thudding heartbeat drawing more primal instincts to the surface. Venom pooled on my tongue, and I was in that moment more dangerous to him than I ever had been before. And I could not abide such a danger.

So I did not part my lips as I so desperately wished to, but instead took gentle hold of Beau's head by the temples and pushed us apart. He seemed to chase me with his kiss, his eyes now closed and his face a mask of pure sensation. But I held him back, and it took only a moment for him to register that I had pulled away. His lids lifted slowly, dreamily, as if waking from a deep sleep. I saw my own guarded expression reflected in his eyes, and the understanding that overtook them in response.

"Too much?" he breathed, apologetic already.

"Not enough," I corrected. "But all that is safe for now."

"Okay," he sighed, moving his hands from my face to my waist. "I'm sorry."

Taking advantage of the hold I still had on his head, I coaxed him back in close, pressing our foreheads together. "Never, ever apologise for this, Beau. You and I must never regret finding joy where we can."

"Yeah, but I probably should have asked first." He looked annoyed with himself. "Especially after what you said earlier. I'm s-"

I cut him off with another kiss, just a short, sharp press of my lips to his, too quick to let either of us get carried away again. He lingered once more as I pulled away, but I had the strong sense it was an involuntary reflex; in that moment, his chief desire was simply to keep kissing me for as long as possible.

"I am going to ban that word if you aren't careful," I growled, tempering the menace with a smile. "Now, come on. I want to hear you read."

"Alright." He followed without further argument as we retraced our steps back along the trail.

It still felt like the ultimate luxury to cross the lawn to the Swans' house, to not have to linger within the treeline and observe only from afar. To know that as I opened the back door, I was an invited guest and not an unwanted invader was a special thrill, less potent perhaps than the kiss but no less significant.

Charlie was absent from his chair when we entered, the TV still on but muted and showing adverts. I could hear him in the kitchen, apparently at the tail end of a conversation on the phone.

"Alright, Bon, see you soon," he was saying, then there was the plastic clunk of the handset returning to its cradle. Moments later, he appeared in the living room entryway, a look of surprise on his face when he saw us. "Hey, kids. You're back sooner than I thought you'd be."

"It was getting cold out there," I lied smoothly, adding a slight shiver for effect.

Charlie nodded sagely, swallowing the story without effort. "Sure, sure. The weather can turn pretty quickly around here. Best to get indoors before it gets nasty."

"Did I hear you talking to Bonnie just now, Dad?" Beau asked, extracting his hand from mine – which was irritating but necessary as he unlaced his boots and toed them off so as not to get any mud on the carpet. I followed suit, pulling down the zippers on my own leather boots and doing my best to step out of the conversation for the moment. He'd been talking to the Quileute woman, the elder whose loose-lipped daughter had been both a nuisance and a godsend. I wondered if the girl had been equally chatty with her mother; had she mentioned telling Beau the stories, putting her on even higher alert? Was this phone call another attempt to warn Chief Swan about that no-good Cullen girl and the dangers she posed to his son?

But Charlie wasn't watching me suspiciously, and he seemed quite calm as he answered Beau. "Yeah, she wanted to invite us down to watch the game later. I told her you were out, but I was going to head over there for a little while before kick-off. It's been a minute since she and I got a chance to hang out. I'm guessing I should make your excuses?"

Beau nodded. "Please. And, Dad, do you mind not telling Bonnie… um…" He glanced at me, and it would have taken a blind man not to see the implication. I stayed quiet, my ingrained response to anything Quileute related.

Charlie's eyes tightened, and I worried for a moment that he would scold his son. Yet it quickly became clear that his anger was not directed towards Beau as he scoffed. "Superstitious old woman. I've half a mind to bring it up just to prove a point."

"Dad…" Beau moaned. "Don't start another fight, please."

"I won't be starting anything," Charlie sniffed. "But I'll tell her you're busy and leave it at that."

Beau relaxed, letting out a deep sigh of relief. "Thanks. Have fun and say hi for me."

"Will do. You two enjoy your afternoon." Charlie gave us a playfully stern look. "Behave yourselves, now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Dad!" Beau protested, embarrassed again if the shade of his cheeks was anything to go by. The redness spread all the way down his neck, and I had to look away before I could start imagining what might lie under that thin layer of skin. Luckily, Charlie was already retreating into the hall, chuckling as he went to get ready to leave.

"Sorry about him," Beau mumbled, finally reclaiming my hand. "And sorry if I overstepped with the whole Bonnie thing. I'm not trying to keep you a secret or anything, I just…" He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "She's one of Dad's best friends, and I don't want him getting into an argument with her over me."

I squeezed his hand lightly. "It's alright. I'd rather not be the cause of conflicts either. Unfortunately, it is unlikely Mrs Black will change her mind anytime soon. I have no opposition to her finding out about us, but of course, I will leave the matter in your hands. After all, you know her better than I do."

"Thanks so much," he quipped sarcastically, clearly not enthused by that idea in the slightest. Then he frowned. "What is it that makes them hate you so much?"

I shrugged one shoulder. "Old stories, old grudges. Nothing that we did, but it is easier to let them feel they have protected themselves than to convince them that there is no need. Shall we?" I gestured at the door to his room. "I don't know about you, but I no longer wish to let the Quileutes and their prejudices intrude on our afternoon."

"Alright." He didn't look completely convinced, but didn't press the matter, instead leading the way into his room. "You can, um… sit wherever."

There weren't a lot of options; my choice was between the beanbag, the small wooden chair at the desk, or the bed. All had their pros and cons; the bed would let us sit next to each other, and would be most comfortable for Beau, but might not be a sensible choice given our conversation in the woods and the still-lingering fire of that kiss; the chairs both offered a degree of separation but could be moved if we felt too distant, yet I so wished to have him right at my side; I wasn't sure even I could get on and off a beanbag with dignity, but would I look too stiff on the desk chair? I could certainly see Beau worrying that I wasn't comfortable enough, not to know yet that it made no difference to me.

In the end, it was my craving for closeness that won out over all other concerns, and I settled on the bed, pulling my feet up to sit cross-legged near the end of the mattress, facing the desk in case he chose distance and sat in the chair.

Beau was sifting through his collection of books, which comprised about thirty titles wedged between two plastic bookends on top of his dresser.

"What are you in the mood for?" he asked, glancing back over his shoulder at me. "I can't guarantee I'll have it, but…" He trailed off, shrugging sheepishly.

"Dealer's choice," I told him breezily. After all, it wasn't the book that mattered, or even the activity; I just wanted to be with him. If I could do something about this self-esteem issue at the same time, all the better.

"Okay…" He turned back to the books, making a disgruntled face just a second too soon to keep me from seeing it. He exuded his desire to please me so strongly that I barely had to look to read it from him, and I could guess his frustration at the lack of direction, the lack of certainty that I would like what he chose. It would take time before he would trust his own instincts, yet I felt a pang of sympathy for his struggle in the meantime. I almost spoke up and made a request – after all, I could read the spines of the books easily from here – but he made his choice before I could, pulling a well-worn paperback from the makeshift shelf and moving to sit beside me without hesitation.

"How's this?" he asked, holding out the book so I could see the cover more clearly.

It was Spindle's End by Robin McKinley, an author I'd heard of but never read much myself, though I'd seen a few of her works on Edward's bookshelf before. The cover showed a grand brick building somewhere between a castle and a stately home, with chimneys, towers and green-tinted roofs all at different heights and shapes. There was a green lawn in the front, two chestnut horses grazing, and a border of bushy leaves and orange flowers out of which various small woodland creatures peered. It looked twee and charming and exactly the sort of thing a teenage boy might choose if he were trying to pander to the tastes of a girl. Then again, I couldn't think of another teenage boy who would so easily agree to spend time reading to a girl he liked when there was a TV in such close proximity. Indeed, the lack of parental supervision would probably have seen most boys coaxing their date towards much less innocent activities involving the bed, but not Beau; either he wasn't interested in that – which I knew wasn't true – or he simply had too much respect for his father's wishes to contravene them just because he thought he could get away with it. Or it was me he respected, which was a novel experience. Though I knew I was as cold as ever, I felt an odd warm sensation in my chest at that thought.

"That looks fine to me," I assured him, offering up my most encouraging smile. "Is it good?"

"I think so." He moved around me and sat on the bed, further towards the pillow with one knee pulled up on the mattress and his other foot dangling off the side; I had to shift around to face him, but silently celebrated at how near he had chosen to sit. "Bella put me on to her stuff, and I wasn't too sure I'd like it, but she's a really good writer. You totally forget you're basically reading fairy tales."

"Well, now I have to hear it," I teased, nudging my knee into his playfully. "Go on."

"Alright." He smiled sheepishly, shuffling through the opening pages, and cleared his throat dramatically before he began, the smile becoming more genuine when I giggled. "'The magic in that country was so thick and tenacious that it settled over the land like chalk-dust and over floors and shelves like slightly sticky plaster-dust. Housecleaners in that country earned unusually good wages. If you lived in that country, you had to de-scale your kettle of its encrustation of magic at least once a week, because if you didn't, you might find yourself pouring hissing snakes or pond slime into your teapot instead of water.'"

The story gradually unfolded into a retelling of Sleeping Beauty. It was the typical beginning of a fantasy novel, front loaded with a good deal of exposition that I might have found tedious had it not been delivered by Beau. He really was very good at reading aloud, injecting the rambling prose with a conversational quality that was instantly engaging. He didn't do anything as foolish as putting on silly voices for the characters, but there was a subtle shift in his tone that helped me recognise each one, and they came alive through his expressive reading. I soon found myself caught up in the tale of a land at once deeply magical and deeply suspicious of magic, the vengeful fairy and the princess hidden away for her own protection. I could have listened to him forever.

Unfortunately, Beau's poor voice didn't have the stamina to keep going for that long. After the third time he had to pause to cough, I reached over to take the book from him, shushing his protests, and picked up from where I had interrupted him. I mimicked his style and, though I didn't think I did it quite as well as him, he listened with rapt attention.

In this manner, we passed a most enjoyable afternoon. And if it wasn't precisely a traditional date – especially a third date, I realised somewhat belatedly – then we were at least content with it, which was more than good enough for me.

I forced myself to stay away from him on Sunday, partly to not draw any further ire from my siblings and partly just to prove that I could. I knew that being together twenty-four-seven wasn't feasible or entirely healthy, and that it would do us both some good to spend time on our own. So, despite every inch of me screaming against it, I did not go back to the Swans' house, instead taking myself on a long hunt that I didn't really need, but which I hoped would occupy my mind sufficiently to keep me from getting panicky and paranoid.

It didn't work.

Filling up the endless stretches of time available to me had never been an issue before; as I'd explained to Beau, there were a lot of different options. But, just like all my paired-up siblings, I now found that the only thing I wanted to do was be with the one I loved, and so trying to do anything else just felt like a colossal waste of time. Not to mention that I had not completely rid myself of the nightmarish imaginings that crept into my consciousness, reminding me of all the ways that Beau could be hurt in my absence. I knew he wasn't planning to do anything more strenuous than his homework and he was hardly in any danger in his own house, but it was much more difficult than it should have been to remind myself of that logic.

All this meant that I was a twitchy, anxious mess come Monday morning. Alice stepped in to make sure I still went out looking presentable, probably seeing that I was going to stay in my rumpled hunting clothes if left to my own devices. I appreciated her meddling for once and was quite happy when she and Jasper climbed into my car for the ride to school. Unfortunately, it scuppered my vague plan to stop by and pick Beau up; Jasper's control might be stronger than he thought it was, but it would still be the height of insensitivity to force him into proximity with a human like that. If I really thought about it, it was probably for the best, and almost certainly another bit of fine Alice engineering. She must have seen something of Beau's reaction to me showing up out of the blue – or his father's – that was less than ideal.

I'd set off early all the same, overly eager to see him and hoping we could catch a few minutes alone before class started. I knew from my stalking roughly what time he arrived, but there was no way to really know – I couldn't exactly look for his car in the lot – so I was fidgety and anxious as I waited near the spot where we'd been picked up on Friday. Alice kindly waited with me, Jasper hovering behind her shoulder and looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. The others came to join us when they arrived (a good five minutes behind) and I could tell instantly from the look on Rosalie's face that her current policy of leaving me to my own devices was on pause today.

"What are we waiting for?" she asked, the beginning of a snide grin pulling up the corner of her mouth.

"I'm waiting for Beau," I responded coolly, not meeting her eye; she was baiting me, and I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing she had got to me. "The rest of you are free to do as you please."

Edward sighed. "As if we could let you talk to him alone. Last time we did that, you exposed us all to the wrath of the Volturi."

"They know nothing yet," I assured him, outwardly calm while simultaneously silently throwing some choice expletives his way. "And it will stay that way, I promise."

His eyes narrowed. "That isn't a promise you can make, sister. This is too much risk for what is ultimately an experiment."

That was the final straw, and I couldn't help turning to glare at him. "And what exactly gave you that impression? Do I go around pouring out our secrets to every teenage boy who pays me enough attention? One would think someone who can hear my every thought would have a better understanding of my motivations."

Rosalie scoffed. "Oh please. You can stop with the high and mighty act, Edythe. We all know you're just going through a phase, taking a leaf out of Tanya's book because you're jealous of the rest of us and you've finally got desperate enough to try just about anything."

Before I could lay into her the way I wanted to, Alice hushed us both. "He's coming!"

Sure enough, I'd been so distracted with the bickering that I hadn't noticed the Chief's cruiser enter the lot and pull up near to where we waited. Beau clambered out of the front seat, throwing a cursory goodbye to his father before he started heading up the sidewalk. His eyes lit up when he saw me and he hurried in my direction, only for his expression and his steps to falter slightly a moment later. It took only a glance sideways to see why; Edward had fixed him with one of his most fearsome glares, the sort that had sent hundreds of men far more self-assured than Beau running for their lives.

Stop that! I yelled mentally. You'll scare him.

"That was the idea," Edward growled low in his throat.

I swore at him in my head again.

The entire exchange had taken only seconds, but it was still too late for me to intercept Beau and lead him away. I cursed my earlier eagerness for making me stand so close to the curb and prepared to run interference at a moment's notice. All I could do for now was move to meet him when he stopped a foot or so short of actually joining our group.

"Good morning," I said as calmly as I could, hoping it would go some way to soothing him. "How are you today?"

"Um, I'm good." He waved awkwardly at my family, unconsciously clenching the strap of his backpack in his other hand. "Hi guys."

"Morning!" Alice chirped brightly, flashing a disarming smile.

"Good morning, Beaufort," Edward drawled, that subtle menace appearing again. Rosalie giggled, her hand rising to her mouth only for show and clearly not intended to stifle the sound.

I narrowed my eyes at my brother. "He prefers Beau." A fact you already know well, you ass. "Beau, I believe you've met Edward and Alice." When he nodded shakily, I took his hand in the hope it would comfort him and continued my introductions. "These are my other siblings, Rosalie, Eleanor and Jasper."

Jasper gave a short, polite nod, Rosalie ostentatiously tossed her hair over her shoulder, and Eleanor grinned warmly.

"Nice to officially meet you, Beau," she said. "We've been looking forward to it."

"Yes," Rose chimed in, her smile far less friendly. "Perhaps now Edythe will stop talking about you constantly. It's been getting quite tedious."

Edward smirked, and I glared at both of them. "On that note, we're leaving. I'll see you all later." And before any of them could argue, I dragged Beau away towards his first class.

When we were out of sight of them, I slowed down a bit; I'd been moving at quite a pace, and though Beau had kept up admirably, he was stumbling a lot and I didn't want to pull him over.

"I'm sorry about them," I sighed. "I'd say they mean well, but honestly, some of them don't."

"It's okay." He appeared genuine, although his voice was still shaking a little. "They have every right to be a bit… wary of me."

I let out a short, humourless laugh. "That's one way to put it, I suppose. How was the rest of your weekend?"

He was momentarily thrown by the subject change, but recovered quickly. "Fine. Boring, honestly. I just did homework and some laundry. It wasn't raining and kind of warm, so Dad went fishing with his friend Harry."

I frowned. "So you were all on your own?" Perhaps I should have gone over after all.

He shrugged. "I don't mind it. It happens more often when you live in a two-person household. The privacy can be nice." He smiled a little. "I guess you don't get that very much with how big your family is."

"Yes, privacy can be difficult to come by," I agreed. "Especially when you throw hyper sensitive hearing into the mix."

"Yeah, you said that before, I remember. So, what did you get up to yesterday?" he asked, and I was relieved to see he was finally starting to look a little more comfortable, though there was still a tension lingering in his shoulders and his eyes kept darting around as if expecting one of my siblings to jump out at him at any moment.

"Hunted, mostly. I got quite a few deer, filled myself up for a few weeks. Can you tell?" I smiled up at him a little cheekily; the change in my face would be very subtle, and I doubted he would notice it. Then again, he had a habit of surprising me.

If he was bothered by me talking about my eating habits so casually, it didn't show. He simply paused to inspect me more closely with a curious, almost excited expression. A moment later, his whole face lit up. "Your eyes! They're lighter than they were on Saturday."

I couldn't help beaming at him. "Well spotted, Beau. I didn't think that you would be able to tell."

His own smile widened, taking on a proud, almost smug air. "I've been told I'm pretty perceptive when I want to be. So, if light eyes equals fed, does that mean dark equals hungry? No, wait, you said you call it thirst."

"That's right, thirsty." I nodded. "And yes, in basic terms. If they ever get to black, you should consider keeping your distance."

"Does that happen very often?" Beau's face had turned serious again, matching my mood as we continued into the building where his Government class was held. I hoped he was sufficiently distracted by vampire lore minutia not to question how I knew exactly which way to go to get to his classes as well as my own.

"I try not to let it," I replied. "It's certainly not a safe state to be coming to school in, but there are times when it is unavoidable, when we simply can't get out on a hunt, or one of us decides to push their limits. I don't plan to take that risk anytime soon."

"Thanks, I think," he chuckled, sounding a little nervous again. "How long can you go between meals, then? You said you're full for a few weeks now?"

"Yes, about two weeks is usually the longest any of us can stand before it gets difficult to bear." I couldn't quite look at him as I spoke, abruptly overwhelmed; he was mostly calm and seemed only interested in this part of my life, but I couldn't escape the fact that this was the most monstrous aspect of my immortality, and I worried about frightening him too much in a space with witnesses.

"What would happen if you tried to go longer?" Still, that almost academic curiosity, though his eyes had begun to wander around the corridor again, probably checking for anyone that might overhear us.

"Carine did, for a while," I admitted. "When she was new, she was all alone, and she hated what she had become. She attempted to starve herself and went for over a month without feeding."

Beau's eyes widened as his attention refocused on me. "Okay, I really want to hear this story, but I feel like we don't have time now. Honestly, it's kind of mean of you to tease me like that."

"Sorry," I said, smiling slightly. "The short version is she went after some deer that ventured too close to where she was hiding and broke her fast on pure instinct. Which had the upside of helping her discover that our way of life was possible, of course. I've never known anyone go longer than that, so all I can say for sure is that we become physically weaker and our control is more fragile the longer we go without food. Honestly, I'm not sure if it's possible for us to actually die of starvation." I stopped and faced him fully. "And on that cheerful note, I believe this is your class."

He looked around as if surprised we'd made it so quickly, his shoulders shrinking for some reason I couldn't fathom. "So it is. Guess that's it for now, huh?"

"I'll come and find you at lunch," I promised. "And you can ask me anything you want. I'll be your open book today."

His smile made my heart soar, even as his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You're not still trying to scare me, are you?"

"Is it working?" I teased.

He took my other hand and squeezed my fingers. "I'm not running, Edythe."

"I'm glad," I said, and surprised even myself by actually meaning it. Then, as his eyes wandered away again, I added, "There's no need to look so nervous. I don't think any of my brothers or sisters have followed us."

"Huh?" He blinked at me, startled, then realisation took over and he shook his head. "No, no, that's not what I'm looking for. It's just…" His voice dropped to a whisper, and he leaned in closer, though of course I could hear him just fine. "Everyone's staring."

I looked around us, noticing the other students for honestly the first time this morning. Sure enough, every pair of eyes in the hallway was on us, even some that really ought to have been paying more attention to where they were going; a junior whose name I honestly couldn't recall at that moment bumped into a wall as she tried to keep us in her sights for a few seconds longer. There were a fair few dropped jaws, and lots of whispering that seemed to assault my ears now that I was actually taking it in.

"Is that Beau Swan with Edythe Cullen?"

"When did that happen?"

"They went to the dance together, but I never thought…"

"Damn, lucky guy!"

"How did he manage to pull her?"

"Ignore them," I said, as much to myself as to Beau. "I usually do."

He scoffed. "Yeah, I think I'm going to need some practice at that one." He looked like he wanted to say more, but the warning bell interrupted him. His shoulders slumped. "I guess you have to get to your class now."

"I do," I agreed apologetically. "But I will see you at lunch." I leaned up, caution thrown to the wind, and pecked him on the cheek; the whispers went wild, but I tuned them all out. "Wait for me outside your last class?"

"Uh huh." He sounded dazed, a slack-jawed and inexplicably adorable expression on his face, and I hoped that meant he at least wasn't paying attention to all the staring anymore.

I walked away before I could do anything that might cause him to lose further brain function, turning back only once to flash him a last smile as I moved around the corner towards the building's rear door. I caught a glimpse of Jeremy Stanley coming up behind him, grabbing him by the shoulders and letting out an emphatic, "Dude!" and then he was gone.

Perhaps because of the dour turn the conversation had taken, or perhaps just because it was becoming more and more frustrating to be separated from him, I was in a grim mood before I even made it to my own classroom. My siblings' critical attitude and nasty comments invaded my consciousness, no matter how hard I tried to force them out, and without the distraction of Beau and his questions, I had nothing else that could truly pull my focus.

I had never experienced a more frustratingly drawn-out morning. My classes, usually no worse than predictable and uninspiring, were today deathly dull, each hour feeling endless. More so than ever before, there seemed to be no point in me being there, and my attention drifted so much that I was almost caught out by two of my teachers calling on me because they thought I wasn't listening. Had I not already been through practically every possible iteration of their lectures and known the subjects better than they did, they might actually have succeeded. As it was, I got bemused and even concerned looks from the siblings that I shared my morning classes with. While Jasper let me go on my way undisturbed after English, Rosalie followed me out of our Trigonometry class with a pinched look on her face, Eleanor trailing behind her warily. At first I ignored them, my only focus on finding Beau and making the most of the relative freedom of the lunch hour. But once it became clear to her where I was headed, Rose made a disgruntled noise that pushed my frayed nerves to breaking point.

"Oh, just say what you want to say," I snapped, not slowing my steps towards the History classrooms.

"Do I need to bother?" she shot back sarcastically. "Why don't you just pluck it out of my head the way you always do?"

Eleanor moved up to walk beside her, throwing one muscular arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and flashing her trademark disarming grin. "No, no, babe, that's Edward's trick. This is Edythe – you can tell because her hair's longer and she doesn't look like she's had a stick up her butt for the last century."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks so much, Ellie. I'm glad to hear that there is so little that differentiates me from my brother."

"The resemblance is particularly striking today," Rosalie griped, clearly getting back to her point as she shrugged Eleanor's arm off. "Honestly, Edy, this mopey mood you're in doesn't suit you at all. After all the pining you've been doing over the Swan boy, I would have thought finally telling him the truth would have at least raised your spirits."

I rounded on her then, bringing our little group to a standstill; we were between two buildings, on a path that few students bothered with but which I'd found to be a good short-cut, and though there was no one else around, I dropped my voice to a low hiss.

"It did. Frankly, being able to open up to Beau has been one of the most liberating and refreshing experiences of the last hundred years, not to mention the fact that I am very much enjoying a long overdue first foray into romance. Unfortunately, it's a little hard to hold on to that positivity when certain of my nearest and dearest persist in disapproving and making snide little comments at every opportunity."

Rosalie folded her arms, flipped her hair over her shoulder and fixed me with her most haughty expression – not difficult, given that she was tall enough to quite literally look down her nose at me. "If you're looking for an apology, you aren't going to get one. And I certainly won't make any promises about changing my mind, either. I'm sure he's a perfectly lovely boy, but he's human, Edythe. How can it end in anything but disaster, for you or for him?"

I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath, forcing myself to stay calm. "That is for us to find out, Rose. I understand your feelings and I don't have any illusions about getting you on my side in all this. But for the sake of our relationship as sisters, for the last seventy years and all the things you have done that I bit my tongue over, could you at least try not to make things harder for us?"

Eleanor put a tentative hand on Rosalie's shoulder. "That's not such an unreasonable request, Rosie," she murmured gently.

Rosalie very much wanted to keep arguing with me, to tell me to go to Hell, or to let loose with the kind of language that would have got her a firm scolding from Earnest and made her birth mother roll over in her grave. But whether it was my appeal to our sisterly bond or her sometimes-wife's coaxing, something made her hold her tongue. She shifted from her confrontational stance to a more relaxed one, sitting back in her hip with most of her weight on one foot. "Fine. But don't expect me to be nice to him."

"I wouldn't dream of it," I sighed. It wasn't exactly an improvement, but hopefully she would at least dial down the hostility, which I could only count as a victory. Now, if only I could extract the same promise from Edward.

Without another word, Rosalie turned on her heel and started marching towards the cafeteria. Eleanor followed, turning to flash me a brief double thumbs up, a cheerful smile and a wink before she hurried after her girlfriend. Shaking my head at her silliness, I carried on my path between the buildings, re-joining the throng of students as I emerged from the little alleyway, weaving through the crowd easily despite the fact that I was moving in the opposite direction to the current flow as almost everyone headed for lunch. My anxious frustration was mounting again; stopping to deal with my sister had delayed me more than I wanted, and I was worried that Beau would already be gone by the time I got to his classroom.

But, of course, my concern was unfounded. As I entered the building, I saw at once the distinctive mop of brown curls towering over most of the other freshman students around me. Even before I got to him, I could feel myself relaxing, a smile creeping onto my face almost without me noticing. It faltered just a little when I saw Beau's expression – wary and uncomfortable, looking down at something beside him. Breaking through the last layer of bodies between us, it wasn't hard to see what had caused his nervousness. Alice stood beside him, wearing a smile of her own that looked sweet at first glance, but to someone who knew her well held the unmistakable glimmer of a scheme. The lift in my mood was abruptly forestalled; that look rarely led to anything good.

Beau spotted me then, and there was an immediate shift to relief.

"There you are," he sighed, his shoulders relaxing as I took his hand.

"I'm so sorry, I was unavoidably detained," I apologised, then switched my attention to my sister. "Did you need something, Alice?"

"Not at all." Her tone projected that same saccharine innocence, but it only put me more on edge. "I just thought, since Beau and I have the same class this hour, I would take the opportunity to spend some time getting to know each other a little better. And seeing as he was quite insistent on waiting for you anyway…" Her eyes glittered mischievously. "Actually, I was just about to convince him to join us for lunch."

"Convince or cajole?" I asked sceptically, narrowing my eyes at her.

She made a show of looking affronted. "Now, sister, when have you ever known me to be so manipulative?"

"Practically every day since we met," I remarked dryly.

"I don't mind," Beau piped up, his voice a little shaky. "I don't want to steal you from your brothers and sisters."

I glanced up to read him, and I didn't have to go very deep to see that while he was being honest about not wanting to pull me away from my family, he also very much did not want to get anywhere near them himself, at least en masse.

"Perhaps another day," I decided, shifting a little closer to his side. "I'd like to keep you to myself for a while longer."

"Okay," came his weak reply, his heart pounding and a somewhat spellbound look on his face.

Alice sighed dramatically. "Fine, fine, have it your way. But you can't keep him away from us forever." She gave me a pointed look, wanting to remind me that she was not the only sibling that was going to cross Beau's path today without me being able to act as a buffer.

I had to take a moment to pull myself together; I wasn't sure I could handle another confrontation today. Even knowing it was physically impossible for me to actually get tired, I could feel the weariness setting in already. Resolving to ignore that potential mess until I absolutely had to deal with it, I began leading the way towards the cafeteria. Beau followed without protest, and Alice was practically skipping on my other side. She made meaningless small talk as we walked, and I gave her the shortest answers I could get away with without seeming rude. Truly, it wasn't her fault that our brother and sister were bothering me so much. I decided to treat her to a shopping trip as an apology and saw her eyes brighten as my choice registered in her sight.

We got to the lunch hall and through the line for food without further incident. I loaded up my tray as usual with a sandwich, chips and an apple, then added a cookie when I saw Beau waver towards them but ultimately not take one for himself.

"Well, I'll see you both later," Alice said cheerfully. "Enjoy your lunch!"

And without a glance back, she danced across the room to the table in the corner where the rest of our siblings were already waiting.

I stood beside Beau, scanning around for a free table. A few people were looking at us again, but they barely registered in my attention. Jeremy called Beau's name from their usual large rectangular table near the middle of the room, but he just waved back.

"We can sit with your friends if you like," I offered.

Beau shook his head firmly. "No, they'll just make things weird. Come on, I think those seats are free."

He led the way to one of the few smaller tables off to the side of the room, which was indeed unoccupied. After about a nanosecond of internal debate, I chose the seat next to him instead of the one opposite; as nice as it would be to face him fully, I was growing accustomed to being side by side. The bright smile it put on his face was certainly a pleasant bonus.

"Help yourself to whatever you want," I told him, pushing my tray an inch further to his side.

"Thanks." He reached for the cookie, as I'd known he would, then picked up his slice of pizza and started chewing while I opened the packaging of my sandwich and tore off a corner of the bread to play with as usual. A few seconds later, Beau put down his food and gave me a look. "You did it again."

"What?" I blinked a few times, feigning innocence but not really trying to hide anything; after his excellent observation of my eyes earlier, I knew he was too sharp for that.

"You got the food I wanted when I didn't get it for myself." It wasn't exactly an accusation, yet I realised abruptly that such behaviour could be seen as rather invasive.

"Was I too presumptuous?" I wondered worriedly. "Truly, I'll stop, if it will make you more comfortable. I can choose not to use my gift, though I'll admit, it's not something I've ever really done."

"No, no, it's fine," he assured me hurriedly. "Kind of convenient, actually. Like this…" He held up the cookie. "Or you knowing that I didn't want to sit with your family. Which they probably just heard me say, given the whole super hearing thing. Crap." He squeezed his eyes shut, sharp regret painting his features.

I laid my hand gently over his. "Don't worry about them. They all have their opinions very well formed by now, and there is little you can do to change them."

Beau's eyes opened, and he gave me a sceptical look. "Was that supposed to be comforting? Because if it was, I think I've finally found something you're not good at."

I laughed. "Oh, believe me, I have many failings. Restraint, for example, is something I seem to be struggling with at the moment."

"Could have fooled me," Beau commented, taking another bite of his pizza. There was a moment of silence as he chewed and swallowed, then he asked, "So, there's really no hope of getting your family to like me?"

"None at all," Edward murmured, just loud enough for me to hear him from across the room. Rosalie snickered, our conversation apparently already forgotten. Alice hissed at them both in irritation.

Ignoring all of them, I gave Beau what I hoped was an honest answer. "No, they simply need time to come around on their own and I don't want you wasting energy trying to impress them. Knowing Edward in particular, such efforts would only make him more determined in his opposition."

My brother growled low in his throat. "Oh, so now you're going to turn him against me. Very nice, sister."

I spoke to him in my mind, still not looking at him. If you're going to be such a pompous pig, I'm under no obligation to protect his good opinion of you.

"Regardless," I went on, keeping my focus on Beau. "There are more that approve than do not, I promise."

"That's… something, I guess." His expression brightened a little. "And hey, I still have a chance to make a good impression on your mom."

"You do," I agreed. "And to that point, we ought to arrange a day for you to come over to the house. I know Carine is keen to meet you, and Earnest has been asking after you too."

"Sure," he agreed easily, his anxieties apparently calmed, at least for now. "Do we want to wait until this weekend?"

I pursed my lips, weighing up options as Beau took another bite of his food. A Saturday or Sunday would give us more time, which I would always favour, but would it be too much for him to be around us all for that long? Likewise, would the time between now and then be enough to make him worry again, perhaps even talk himself out of it? In that case, sooner would be better, yet there was also a good chance his father wouldn't approve of a date on a school night, even if it was just to meet family. I glanced across the room at Alice, who gave the tiniest possible shrug; my indecision was too much for her to get a clear vision. Reasoning that it couldn't hurt to propose the option, I deflected the burden of choice onto Beau, though it felt like the coward's way out to do it.

"Would tomorrow be too soon?" I asked tentatively. "We could go straight from school and call it a study date if you think that would make your father more amenable."

His eyes popped just a little, but he'd recovered by the time he swallowed his bite of food and chuckled. "Wow, are they that excited to see me?"

I didn't want to lie to him but decided that he didn't need to know all my neurotic overthinking, so I kept my answer brief and honest. "They would be glad to see you whenever you are ready. It's an open invitation."

Beau took the time to ponder his reply as he chewed another bite of pizza; he took big bites, typical for a boy his age, and was almost down to the crust already. Once his mouth was clear again, he gave a small one-shouldered shrug and said, "Sure, I guess tomorrow would be fine. I'll ask Dad, but honestly, I can't see him saying no. He's got nothing but good things to say about your mom, and he loves you."

I couldn't help smirking a little. "So I've got approval from one third of your family. Not so bad, I suppose, but not quite a match for your four out of seven." I tilted my head slightly. "Although getting to 100% will be significantly quicker for me, won't it?"

He laughed. "Yeah, not quite so many people to impress on my side. Want me to start working on Mom and Bella for you?"

"If you would be so kind," I agreed. "Do you see them often?"

"Not as much as I'd like to," he admitted, and I nodded sympathetically; I'd gathered as much from my previous observations. "It's summers mainly, sometimes Christmas or Thanksgiving if we can organise the logistics. Mom's got a habit of making plans on a whim, so she doesn't always think ahead. But we call and email at least once a week, and I always make sure I talk to Bella on our birthday."

I smiled softly. "That's very sweet. You two are close, then?"

"Very," he agreed, nodding firmly as he munched down the rest of his pizza and opened his bag of chips. "Even not being together most of the time, we just… get each other, you know? Maybe it's a twin thing." He chuckled to himself. "Bella hates it when I talk like that. She always insists we're no more alike than any other siblings, but honestly, that just makes me tease her about it more. How about you? Are you and your siblings close?" He faltered slightly. "Or is it too awkward to talk about them when they're on the other side of the room?"

I waved off his concern. "Oh, they all know exactly what I think of them. When you've lived together as long as we have, there aren't really any secrets left to keep, never mind the trouble of trying to hide anything in our house. But to your question, yes, we are close. We rather have to be, living as we do, separate from others of our kind but not able to integrate completely with humanity. Of course, the relationship varies from one to the other, but after all this time, we're all well bonded."

Beau smiled around a mouthful of potato chips. "That's nice. I've always wondered what it would be like to have a big family. Don't get me wrong, I love mine, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone other than Dad to talk to."

"We certainly never lack companionship," I agreed ruefully. "So much so that there are times we all crave solitude. But then we can generally find it without too much trouble." I smiled. "Being able to run off into untamed wilderness at a moment's notice certainly makes it easy to get some alone time. Assuming no one decides to follow you, of course."

He hummed, looking thoughtful as he chewed another bite of food. I tore a second chunk off my sandwich, giving him time to process. When I saw a small furrow of concern crease his forehead, though, I had to ask. "What are you thinking about?"

"I'm trying to picture that," he answered honestly, the frown deepening. "You just wandering off into the woods by yourself. I… I don't want to sound like I don't think you can handle it, but it makes me a little anxious to think about."

I took his hand and squeezed gently. "That's understandable. It would worry me if you did the same. But I promise you, Beau, I am perfectly safe in the forest." I let some menace slip into my smile, dropping just the edge of my carefully maintained human mask. "I am by far the most dangerous thing out there, and anything that might try to hurt me finds that out very quickly."

"I believe you." He shuddered dramatically, then looked thoughtful. "I don't suppose that's something I would ever get to see, is it?"

I had to take a moment to settle the surge of pure panic that rose up at the mere suggestion of such an occurrence, and my voice was flinty when I answered him. "Absolutely not!"

Beau looked startled by the ferocity of my response and actually put his food down, catching my hands in his. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I know that isn't a good idea, I was just curious. I'm sorry."

"No, I am the one who should be apologising. It's just…" I looked down at our joined hands, curling our fingers more securely together. "I've already told you how dangerous I could be to you. Here, where I'm acting human, it isn't as difficult to control myself." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, letting the scent of his blood flood my senses in a way I usually avoided. The ever-present simmering fire in my throat flared, reminding me of exactly why he couldn't ever join me in a hunt. "But I'm not in the mind-set for feeding right now. When I hunt, it's all I can focus on, and if you were anywhere near me in that headspace…"

"I get it." His voice was grave, and when I opened my eyes, I saw true understanding in his eyes, all joking gone. "I won't bring it up again, I promise."

I shook my head. "I want you to be curious, Beau. I want you to ask questions, and I want to give you answers. There are just some things… some things that will never be possible, at least while you're still human."

"I understand," he said softly, giving my hands another squeeze.

This was getting to be a dangerous conversation to have in public, and I wondered that none of my siblings had voiced their displeasure over it. But when I glanced across to their table, I was surprised to find they had all disappeared without me noticing. What's more, other students around us were beginning to head towards their afternoon classes; checking the clock on the wall, I realised we needed to follow suit if we both wanted to make it to next hour on time.

The shift registered with Beau as well, and he quickly finished his chips, stuffing the untouched cookie into his backpack. I offered him my own chips and the apple, which he accepted with a small but grateful smile, then he piled all our trash onto one tray, stacked them and picked them up together as he stood, offering me his other hand.

"Is it my turn to walk you to class?" he asked playfully, the smile turning into a grin as we headed for the nearest trash can.

I chuckled. "I don't think we've left enough time for that. Maybe tomorrow."

"Okay." He was more deflated than I expected him to be, and I didn't realise why until we got outside and he sighed heavily. "So, which way are you headed?"

I looked up at him, one eyebrow raised incredulously. "I'm still going to walk you to class, Beau."

His forehead creased in confusion. "But you just said…"

I had to laugh; his expression was just too adorable. "You can't walk all the way to my class and still make it to yours in time, but I'm much faster than you are. So unless you are truly determined to be late today…"

"Fine, fine," he sighed. "Tomorrow, I'll be a gentleman."

I reached up with my free hand and stroked his cheek. "As if you are ever anything less."

Beau's heart went mad, almost drowning out the flurry of whispered conversation from the students just behind us that had noticed the gesture. I ignored them and began leading the way towards the Math building. We didn't speak as we walked; I could hear his heart rate slowly coming down to normal beside me and decided it was best to give him the time to collect himself. There was a slight quickening that refused to settle, though, and at first I thought it was the same phenomenon I had often observed when I was holding his hand. But when we reached his classroom, I found a look of uncertainty and worry painted across his face.

"What's wrong?" I asked, stopping us a few feet shy of the door and pulling him to the side of the hallway.

"It's nothing," came his instant answer. "You'd better get to class, you'll be late."

"Not before I know what's bothering you," I insisted, tilting my head to catch his eye more fully. "Please, Beau."

He blinked a few times and his heart stuttered, and when he spoke, it was a whisper. "Edward's in this class."

I felt a complex mix of relief, guilt and irritation rush through me, one emotion on the heels of the last so they blended together – relief that it wasn't something I had done that had upset him, guilt because I had been the one to expose him to my brother's wrath, and irritation at said brother for making his dislike of the poor boy so obvious that he was wary of even sharing a classroom with him. I swore loudly at Edward in my head again and heard his low answering growl through the wall.

To Beau, though, I was the picture of composed. "Just avoid him and ignore him. That's usually what I do. I'll have words with him later." And he'd better listen if he knows what's good for him!

Beau still looked uncertain, his mouth twisting sideways unhappily. "I don't want to cause any problems between you guys…"

"He's the only problem," I assured him. "Leave it with me, and don't let it trouble you. Do you want me to meet you after last hour, or shall we say goodbye until tomorrow now?"

If the sudden subject change threw him, he didn't show it; his face became sad, and it didn't take more than a surface reading to see that he didn't want to say goodbye at all. In truth, I was right there with him, but I knew there were things I needed to take care of tonight, and I couldn't say for sure how long they would take. I had also quietly resolved not to continue my stalking and skulking in Beau's bushes; now that we were being open with one another, it seemed only right that he should get to choose when and how we saw each other. More than anything, I knew he needed to preserve some level of independence, and that spending all his time with me wasn't healthy, nor would it go over well with his family and friends.

Luckily, Beau was sensible enough to know this too, though he seemed reluctant to admit it. "I guess it doesn't make much sense for you to go out of your way for that little time. And your siblings will probably want to get straight home, right?"

"I don't care about what my siblings want," I promised. "What do you want?" I didn't have to ask, of course, but a part of me wanted to hear him say it.

Happily, he obliged. "I want to make use of every minute we've got. But then that makes it seem like there's some sort of limit on our time together, and I don't think there is. So I just end up looking desperate, don't I?"

I shook my head firmly. "Not at all. I feel exactly the same way." We'd stumbled into another big conversation, one we absolutely did not have the time for right now. But there was a solution that came immediately to mind, at least temporarily; I quickly hooked a pen and a sheet of paper out of my bag, scrawled my cell phone number on a corner and tore it off. "Here. It's past time you had this anyway, and now you can get in touch with me whenever you want. And if you need me, I can be with you in minutes."

He took the scrap of paper like it was something precious. "And when you're out in the woods and don't have cell service?"

"I'll let you know beforehand, but that won't happen often. We rarely go too far from home, and I have excellent coverage." The warning bell rang, and I knew we were out of time for now. I curled his fingers around my number and squeezed gently. "Call me later, and I'll meet you outside again tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay." He dithered for a second, before stuttering, "Could we… I mean, do we risk… can I kiss you at school? Is that… alright?"

I gave him a mock severe look. "I don't know. I'm not sure if you can control yourself."

My teasing backfired as he deflated visibly. "Right. Never mind, then."

Not about to leave him in so morose a mood, I popped up on my toes and pecked the end of his nose lightly. His entire face turned beet red in half a second, and his mouth popped open in shock.

"I hope that will suffice for now," I quipped, patting his blazing cheek. "See you tomorrow, Beau."

I moved around him and made my way as fast as I dared up the corridor. Once again glancing back at the corner, I was just in time to see him stumble his way into class, sputtering apologies to the teacher and the four or five people he bumped into on his way in.

In stark contrast to my mood in the morning, I was practically skipping as I crossed campus; I barely noticed the admonishment I got from my own teacher when I was in fact late, despite all my promises to Beau. I made my apology sound as sincere as I could, but I honestly didn't care. It wasn't as if my GPA was likely to suffer, and the tragedy of the American high school system was that unless someone's grades were being impacted, the faculty didn't really have any grounds to make complaints about a student's behaviour. Given that mine was generally impeccable, I didn't think Senora Goff would make too much fuss.

My last two hours passed without incident; I spent them daydreaming, imagining future days with Beau. I would take him exploring through the woods, down my own special paths, off the trails and without markers save my memory. We would visit the great cities of the world, all the places in his books that I knew he longed to see with his own eyes, and I would show him the secrets only a vampire could uncover. I would meet his mother and sister, charm them both as I had Charlie, and show them all that their boy was safe with me.

There was only one vision I pushed away, though it came around a few times, threatening to consume my thoughts. In it, we walked side by side, hand in hand, the location unimportant and unfocused, changing every time. What was unchanged, what mattered was us – our joined hands the same shade of white, our eyes the same gold, our movements the same graceful glide. The only part that would not resolve, even if I had let it, was his face. I knew it would be changed if this future did ever come to pass, that it would become harder and sharper and beautiful to anyone who beheld it. But he was already perfect to me, and so even my prodigious mind could not imagine exactly how he would look. There was nothing that I would deem to be an improvement.

I did not reject the picture out of any fear or lack of desire. In fact, it was quite the opposite – I wanted it too much. To be able to keep him forever was my idea of heaven. It would solve every problem, take away every barrier between us. But it also opened up a whole range of fresh problems. Most notably, of course, he would be wrenched away from the family that he loved so much. No matter how distant they might be physically, one would have to be blind and deaf not to realise how much his mother and sister meant to him, not to mention the close bond he had with his father. It would devastate him to have to leave them, and I could well imagine what it would do to them if he suddenly vanished. I recalled the picture of Bella from the mantelpiece gallery and what Beau had told me of her since; she struck me as a shy, sweet girl with fierce determination but fragile confidence. Could I subject her to the ache of losing her brother, an ache I knew very well myself? It certainly didn't feel right.

All my musing led me to the conclusion that, ultimately, it wasn't my choice to make. Inevitably, the subject of change would come up at some point, and when it did, I would simply have to lay all the facts out for him and ensure he had every tool available to choose what was right for him.

I was walking to my car as I made this final decision, and I couldn't help glancing around to see if I might snatch one more moment with Beau after all. But my last class had overrun, and I spotted only the retreating lights of the Chief's cruiser just as it pulled out of the lot. I squashed my disappointment and hurried to join my siblings, who were clustered around the Volvo and Impala waiting for me.

Eleanor tapped her bare wrist dramatically. "And what time do you call this, young lady?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Blame Coach Clapp. One would think a Gym teacher would have better time keeping skills."

Alice giggled. "Well, at least you're here now. Let's get going."

She climbed into the backseat of the Volvo, drawing immediate looks of confusion and curiosity from the others; after all, she and Jasper had ridden with me in the morning, and we didn't tend to switch cars unless something truly horrendous had happened during the day. She rolled her eyes and brought her window down, though we all could have heard her just fine through the glass.

"Edy wants to talk to Edward in private," she explained matter-of-factly, in that tone she often used when something was obvious to her, but the rest of us hadn't caught on yet. "So it would be generous of us to give them some space, wouldn't it?"

Jasper nodded immediately and moved around to the other side of the car, getting into the backseat beside Alice without argument. This was typical for him; his trust in her was absolute, and it was a rare occasion indeed when he even contemplated questioning her. Truly, it was remarkable and more than a little encouraging that someone whose trust and devotion had been so maliciously manipulated for so long could ever find it in himself to let love in again.

Eleanor shrugged. "Makes no difference to me. You driving, babe?"

Rosalie very much wanted to say no, to stomp her feet and rail against the whole situation, if only for the sake of pettiness. But then I saw something flash across her face, as if a thought were occurring to her or a memory resurfacing. Whatever it was, it made her push down her petulant desires; she bit out a sharp, "Fine," and got behind the wheel without a backward glance. Ellie rolled her eyes at me good-naturedly and took the front passenger seat, and the Volvo pulled out and sped away.

"No one cares for my opinion, I see," my brother griped sullenly.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You're welcome to hoof it home if you want, but you should at least ride with me until we're away from human eyes. But I hope you will stay and hear me, because I do need to speak with you. If it is not now, I will simply seek you out later." So you might as well get it over with.

Edward contemplated arguing, then sighed and slid into my car. I allowed myself one brief smile as I joined him and started the engine, manoeuvring out of the parking lot with ease.

We were silent at first; despite his acquiescence, he was annoyed about giving in, and I thought it best to let his stewing settle before I tried to speak to him.

"Oh, just get on with it," Edward grumbled. "Like you said, waiting isn't going to make a difference."

Well, pardon me for trying to be considerate, I thought sarcastically. Out loud, though, I kept my voice low, calm and even. "Alright. Honestly, there isn't much to say that hasn't been said already. I am building a relationship with Beau, one that is already very precious to me, and one which faces enough adversity without the added factor of your disapproval. Now, I know you too well to think that I can change your mind, and I truly can't imagine what the poor boy has done to offend you besides being human. But if you have any love for me as your sister, if you genuinely, as you have claimed, want me to be happy and care about how I feel, then the very least you can do is not make things harder. You don't have to like him, but I'm asking you, for my sake, to not be nasty to him when he's done nothing to deserve it. Rosalie has already agreed to these terms, and I would be most grateful if you would do the same."

Edward didn't respond at first; he simply stared out of his window, almost as if he hadn't heard me at all. I kept my mind as blank as possible, trying to give him the space to unravel his thoughts without mine interfering. Instead, I focused on details of the road ahead and restrained the urge to read him for any clues as to what conclusions he might be forming.

At last, he spoke, still looking away, his voice low and dangerous. "If he ever hurts you, I will make sure his life is not worth living."

Despite the threat in his tone, I relaxed. "He won't hurt me." Of this, I was supremely confident; whether physically or emotionally, it was far more likely that I would hurt Beau than the other way around, but I was going to do everything in my power to make sure that didn't happen.

"You cannot hope to control everything," Edward pointed out, his low murmur more despondent now. "A human in our world… it's almost unheard of. He will face danger every day, from you, from us, and from any others of our kind who happen upon us."

"I will face it with him," I vowed, letting all my determination show in my voice and thoughts. "I will be his shield, as much as I possibly can. What I cannot do is stay away from him based purely on fear of what might come. As our sister can tell you, there is nothing truly certain in the future."

He hummed, a sound of reluctant agreement. "Still, I would not be doing my duty as your brother if I did not wish to guard you from pain."

"And I appreciate it," I assured him. "But there are some things that are worth the risk."

He didn't answer, and as the silence dragged, I finally gave in to the temptation to give him just a quick read. It took me only seconds to see what I had suspected might actually be at the root of his issues, and it wasn't really about Beau at all.

Edward didn't want things to change.

My brother growled low in his throat, and at first I was worried he resented the intrusion.

"It's not that," he sighed. "After all these years, you are owed a few invasions of my privacy. No, I'm annoyed with myself."

"Why?" I wondered. "It's a perfectly reasonable desire, Edward."

"But it's selfish," he insisted, his forehead creasing in an even deeper frown than usual. "To feel… jealous, abandoned, because you have found someone who makes you happy. It isn't fair, and I don't have the right-"

I cut him off before he could get too far into a tirade. "Stop, brother. You are allowed to feel however you like. In fact, I wish you would have told me sooner that you were feeling… left behind. I know I've been spending a lot of time with Beau, and I do want to work on finding a better balance. Starting now." We'd made it home by that time; I pulled my car into its spot in the garage and turned to face him fully. "I don't need to hunt again, but we could go for a run. Or we can stay here, play some music, maybe a game of chess? Whatever you want, Edward, just name it."

He shook his head. "No, I don't want to keep you from where you want to be."

"You aren't," I promised. "Beau isn't expecting to see me until tomorrow, and I don't want to be the stalker lurking in his bushes anymore. Really, you'd be doing me a favour if you helped me pass the time tonight." I gave him my best pleading look, filling my mind with as much longing hope as I could muster. "Please, Edward?"

My brother pursed his lips and raised one eyebrow. "I would like it to be known that I see straight through this very obvious attempt at emotional manipulation… But it is working. Shall we start with that run?"

I beamed and hurried out of the car, moving around quickly to meet him as he got out of his side and pulling him into a tight hug. "I'm sorry for abandoning you."

He returned the embrace, dropping a gentle kiss on the top of my head. "You didn't. But it felt like you might, and I suppose I got scared. After all these years, I can't imagine not having you by my side."

"I will always be by your side," I vowed. "As I know you will always be on mine. It is simply that I now have someone on the other side, too." I pulled back and smiled playfully up at him. "Who knows? Perhaps one day you will as well."

"Don't hold your breath," he deadpanned.

It wasn't the funniest joke I'd ever heard, but something about its delivery, or perhaps the timing, coming as it did when I felt the tension finally easing between us, made me laugh heartily. He joined me in a lower chuckle, but the smile on his face was genuine, and the final squeeze he gave before releasing me was firm and affectionate.

Without another word, we made our way out of the garage and straight into the forest, taking off at a run almost in sync. We passed a surprisingly enjoyable evening, racing and chasing each other around the Olympic National Park like children playing the world's largest game of tag. He had always been faster than me, so I was sure he let me catch him a few times, but neither of us remarked on it. Nor did he comment when my phone rang and I slipped away to answer it.

Beau had to keep our conversation short anyway, unable to take too much time on the family landline, but he confirmed that his father had no problem with him coming to our house after school the next day. He was even more insistent about ending the call when he heard what I was doing, and it bothered me that I couldn't tell through the phone whether he wanted me to spend more time with my brother or was simply still afraid of Edward's wrath. Whatever the cause, he cited a need to get his homework done and wished me a good night after only a few minutes.

The call opened the floodgates, and though I tried not to, I couldn't help the way my mind strayed back to him throughout the rest of the night, wondering what he was doing, what he'd had for dinner, if he had finished his work, if he'd had time to watch TV with his father, if he was still sitting up reading or had already gone to sleep. Edward kindly ignored my obsessive musings, and neither of us mentioned them aloud. It was not that we were ignoring the thoughts; I simply let them enter my head as they would, and Edward let them pass without acknowledgement.

Otherwise, it was a night not unlike many others we had spent together over the last century. When we arrived back at the house in the early hours of the morning, there were smiles on both our faces, and I was certain that, at the very least, the fracture that had formed between my brother and I when this whole debacle began had finally started to heal.

Tuesday morning passed much the same way Monday had; I waited for Beau by the drop-off zone and walked him to Government before continuing on to my own class; I sat through boring lectures until lunchtime, then went to meet back up with him outside his History class. The major difference was that my siblings all kept their distance, and so both of us were far more relaxed as a result. I didn't necessarily like the gap that was opening between me and my brothers and sisters, and my conversation with Edward had made it clear I needed to be careful not to let it get any wider out of neglect. But I also wasn't going to pretend that my priorities hadn't shifted; I would not stand for anything that made Beau uncomfortable, and if that meant keeping my family at arm's length for a while, so be it. Of course, I hoped they would soon all warm up to each other, but I couldn't force it on either side.

Our conversations were more of the casual, getting to know you talk that had begun at the dance, except that I let him ask more questions today. Mostly because I already had more than enough information to be going on with – for now – but also because after all I had extracted from him that night over a month ago, it now seemed only fair to let him learn more about me. Whether out of instinct or by design, he had surprisingly few vampire related queries; he mainly wanted to know about my likes and dislikes, other hobbies that I used to fill my time, places I had been to and things I had experienced. I couldn't be sure even from reading him whether he was avoiding the heavier topics on purpose, but it was a pleasant reprieve to focus on such safe topics of conversation after the tension of worrying we would be overheard yesterday.

As he'd promised, he insisted on walking me to class after lunch, which cut our time shorter than I would have liked, but was worth it for the pleased look on his face. He walked with a spring in his step, swinging our joined hands slightly between us, and hesitated only a moment before kissing me on the hand to say goodbye. It made my heart swell to see his confidence already beginning to grow, and I graced him with a kiss on the cheek in return that made him go bright red again and stumble off towards his afternoon classes looking dazed but happy.

We had agreed to meet at our usual spot on the edge of the parking lot after school, and thankfully I made it out of Gym on time today, arriving just moments before Beau.

He gave me a smile that was tinged with just an edge of nerves. "Hi."

"Hello," I replied, returning the smile with one that I hoped was warm enough to reassure him. "Are you ready?"

"Not even close," he chuckled weakly. "Let's go."

I took his hand and ran my thumb across his knuckles. "Please don't be afraid. I promise, no one will hurt you."

He made a disgruntled face. "I'm kind of more worried about them liking me, to be honest."

"That isn't something to concern yourself with either," I assured him. "I've already told you, you have almost everyone's approval already."

"Sure, sure." He didn't sound entirely convinced, and I knew nothing I could say was going to make a difference at this point; only the proof of my parents' reaction to him would be enough to put his mind at ease. So I just gave his hand another squeeze and began leading him towards where the cars had been parked this morning.

It had been Jasper and Ellie's turn to drive, but I knew there was little chance anyone would have stuck around to play taxi service for a human. As such, I was full prepared to be driving us home, which made it a little bit of a surprise to find Eleanor waiting by my car as we walked up. The Volvo was already gone, and our other siblings were nowhere in sight. I raised an eyebrow at her in question, but she just grinned like there was nothing wrong.

"There you are," she said cheerfully. "Was the human dragging his heels? You know they're slower than us, Edy, you have to leave more time for getting places."

I gave her a withering look and was about to tell her off, but Beau was already apologising.

"I'm sorry, am I making us late?" He looked at me with a concern that made my heart ache. "I'll be quicker next time, I promise."

I placed a soothing hand on his arm. "It's fine, Beau. We're not on any kind of schedule and you don't have to change anything. Ellie's just teasing, it's her favourite pastime."

Eleanor, to her credit, looked genuinely remorseful. "Yeah, man, didn't mean to make you panic. I forget not everyone knows my sense of humour. Sorry."

"It's fine, my fault for overreacting, I'm sorry." It was his turn to get a sharp look from me, and he winced. "And now I'm over-apologising again. So-" He cut off the 'sorry' at the last second, biting his lip.

Eleanor chuckled good-humouredly. "Let's go before the poor kid gives himself an aneurism."

She headed for the driver's seat, ready to continue her duties for the day, and I led Beau to the back, opening the door for him. "After you, sir."

He looked like he wanted to protest, then changed his mind and slid into the car, shuffling across the seat and pulling me in behind him. The astonished looks and frantic chatter from nearby students registered, but were easy to ignore.

"Where to, lovebirds?" Ellie asked cheekily, doffing an imaginary taxi man's cap.

I rolled my eyes. "Home, please, and less lip from the driver wouldn't go amiss."

She smirked and started the car without further comment.

We drove in silence for a while. Beau watched the scenery pass outside the window, his knee bouncing slightly as he twisted the strap of his backpack in his hand and chewed lightly on the inside of his lower lip. I ran my thumb gently across the back of the hand I was holding, hoping it would soothe him; it seemed to work, as the bouncing slowed a little and his teeth released his lip. He glanced across at me and I gave him my most encouraging smile.

Eleanor must have sensed some of the tension in the car too; she struck up the conversation again as we passed the last of the close-built houses in the town proper and were moving through thicker forest.

"So, Beau, I hear you're a Mariners fan."

Beau jumped slightly and blinked a few times before he answered. "Um, yeah, I am. They're Dad's favourite team, so I guess I sort of inherited the love. But really, can you be from Washington and not support Seattle?" He chuckled weakly.

Ellie smiled at him in the rear-view mirror. "That's a bold statement to make. I'm more of a Yankees girl myself."

"But you're not from Washington," I argued. "So your point is moot."

"Not from New York either," she pointed out sagely. "If I'm that restricted, then I'm screwed – I can't think of a single Tennessee team that's any good at anything."

"I don't know, the Tigers had a pretty good run this season," Beau commented.

Eleanor scoffed. "Yeah, if you call a top ten finish a good run. Did you see the fumble in that last game? I know it's only college level, but come on, those are basically the minors at this point."

From there, the two of them fell into a discussion of the intricacies of various sports that even I couldn't follow. I was content to sit back and listen, though, especially when I saw that the familiar topic had finally calmed the last of Beau's nerves; his knee was still, and he was the animated, enthusiastic boy I had seen so often before.

By the time we got to the house, they were laughing like they'd been friends for years, and I couldn't help the wide, satisfied smile that spread across my face in response. As if I had suddenly borrowed Alice's talent, I could foresee a time when scenes like this would be an everyday occurrence. I only hoped the same might be said for my other siblings as well.

Once we were in the garage, Eleanor expertly parked my car in its usual spot between the Volvo and Rose's M3. As we climbed out, Beau's eyes ran across the lined-up vehicles and quickly went wide as saucers.

"Is that an Aston Martin?" he asked, staring at the car in question with shock and envy.

Eleanor chuckled. "Yup. Eddie calls that his 'special occasion car' which basically means it sits in here looking pretty ninety-nine percent of the time."

Beau was looking over all the other cars more carefully now. "This is a seriously impressive collection. I mean, I'm no expert, but the names speak for themselves, right?" He gestured towards the Mercedes.

"You should see some of the things we have in storage," I commented. "But for now, shall we head inside?"

"Right." He nodded, squaring his shoulders just a little. "Lead the way."

Eleanor walked ahead of us, her hands in the pockets of her jeans. I took Beau's hand as we went, squeezing slightly; there was a worried pucker starting to form between his eyebrows. I pulled him to a stop just short of the door into the kitchen, letting my sister disappear into the house.

"Are you alright?" I asked as quietly as I could. "There's really no need to be nervous, Beau. Carine will love you, and Earnest already does."

"It's not that." He spoke just as softly as me, leaning down a little as if to help me hear better. "I'm just… feeling a little insignificant."

I frowned. "Whatever for?"

"Well…" He glanced back at the cars, then ahead of us towards the house, biting his lip again. Then the words suddenly spilled out in a rush. "I knew you guys had money, but I'm starting to realise just how much, and it's… just a pretty big contrast to how I live. I mean, you know I don't even have my own phone, and you can afford to buy cars you don't even drive… it's just… a lot, that's all."

I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb soothingly. "That's no reflection on you, Beau. We've lived for lifetimes, and we don't have many of the expenses that humans do. Money just tends to build up given enough time. Plus, Alice likes to trade stocks, and I'm sure you can imagine how good she is at that." I smiled. "Really, don't let it bother you. It certainly isn't an issue to me."

He nodded distractedly, not looking entirely convinced.

"Of all the differences between us, this is the one you're choosing to fixate on?" I teased, though it fell flat thanks to the genuine worry I could feel building up inside me.

He smiled weakly. "I guess it's the easiest one to understand. I mean, I still don't feel like I fully have a handle on all the… vampire stuff. But money, that I get."

I took his other hand, gently turning him to face me fully. "Believe me when I say I can sympathise. Even all the years of having plenty have not made me forget what it felt like to have nothing. I know the fear of judgement, of pity. Not to imply that you and your father are in such dire straits as I was, only… I don't wish you to think I am at all flippant when it comes to money. It is simply not a concern, and certainly not something I would ever use to compare us."

I still felt as if my words were lacking, not enough to truly reassure him, but they must have had some impact as he relaxed a little. "So you won't turn your nose up at me when you're opening presents that tend towards cheap and-or homemade?"

I huffed a laugh and shook my head. "No, never. And just for the record, I really have no need of gifts." I reached up and cupped his cheek. "Just having you with me is more than enough, Beau."

His heart fluttered and his eyes slid closed as he leaned into my touch. When he opened them again, I could see easily that he felt exactly the same way.

"Ready to go in?" I asked softly, and he nodded, though I was sure I caught a flash of disappointment when I took my hand off his face.

I led him through the door and down the short corridor that connected the garage to the house, coming out into the kitchen. I watched him take in the interior of our home as subtly as I could, not wishing to make him feel scrutinised. His look was one of surprise, verging on wonder, and I couldn't help smiling slightly to myself as we entered the living room.

Carine and Earnest waited for us, standing arm in arm, and strategically placed near the piano. They didn't approach, but both wore warm, inviting smiles.

Leading him closer to them, I gave Beau's hand one more gentle reassuring squeeze before I made introductions. "Carine, this is Beau. Beau, my mother Carine."

Earnest cleared his throat slightly, one eyebrow raised teasingly.

I smirked. "And Earnest, but you know him already."

"Right." While Beau was visibly nervous, he was remarkably calm and composed, offering my parents a friendly smile. "Good to see you again, Mr… Earnest, sorry. And it's nice to finally meet you, Dr Cullen."

He stepped forward a little and held out his free hand, and Carine moved in to shake it lightly. "Likewise, Beau. After everything I've heard from the others, it is wonderful to have the chance to get to know you myself at last. Please, call me Carine."

"Carine," Beau repeated with a nod. "Your house is beautiful, by the way. Edythe told me you've done a lot of renovation on it, and it's definitely paid off."

Earnest fairly beamed. "Well, thank you, Beau, that's very kind of you. I will say we started with a good base, which is important. It's easier to build when the bones are strong."

Beau grinned. "That's what the contractors that worked on our house said, too."

My father's eyes brightened, his interest clearly piqued. "Have you done refurbishments as well?"

"Oh, no, not really." Beau looked bashful now, like he'd said too much and wanted to take it back. "It was more of an extension, actually. When my sister and I got too big to share a bedroom, we added my room to the back of the house."

I mentally ticked a question off my infinite list; I'd wondered about the odd placement of his bedroom, but it hadn't been important enough to ask about before.

Carine was nodding sagely. "Ah, yes, the age-old problem of finding enough bedrooms for everyone. I must say, we've had a tendency to move every time we gain a new family member, so we've rarely needed to do any similar extension work."

"There was that phase where Edward lived in the garage," I reminded her, smirking just a little and answering Beau's curious look before he could ask the question. "When Alice and Jasper first joined us, Alice decided Edward's room had the best view and she would rather like it. He was away hunting when they arrived and couldn't exactly argue with her."

"And you didn't try to stop her?" he wondered, a small knowing smile on his face like he thought he might know the answer already.

I shrugged. "She said it would be funny, and he'd annoyed me recently. In my defence, I helped him get his new room organised when we moved again."

Earnest sighed and shook his head at me. "I assure you, Beau, I have been trying to instil good manners in all of them. But even after all these years, sometimes the message still doesn't seem to have sunk in."

I shot him a winning smile. "Am I not a paragon of exemplary etiquette, Earnest?"

"When you want to be," he remarked, the censure in his tone undercut by the growing affectionate smile. "Perhaps you can redeem yourself by showing Beau around the rest of the house. I believe the others are all in their rooms, but I'm sure they won't mind you ducking in to say hello."

I nodded, although I was quite certain that there was at least one resident of every room that absolutely would not appreciate their privacy being invaded, even for a moment. Besides, I had another idea. "Can I show him your study, Carine? There's a picture or two I'd like him to see."

"Of course, darling," she agreed easily. "You know all the stories as well as I do."

I looked up at Beau. "Do you want to see upstairs?"

"Sure." He smiled, seeming more at ease by the moment, which was encouraging. "Lead the way."

Needing no more encouragement, I guided him to the stairs, quickly pointing out the few doors on the lower floor as we went. "The dining room is through there, though of course that's mainly for show, like the kitchen. And that door leads to the office." We made our way up the stairs, and I continued indicating doors without bothering to knock on any. "That one is Ellie and Rose's room, and Alice and Jasper are in there. Then there's Earnest's study, and Carine's office is in here. Shall we?"

When Beau didn't respond immediately, I turned back to see what had caught his attention, though I had an idea what it might be. Sure enough, he was staring at the enormous wooden cross at the end of the hallway. He quirked an eyebrow at me, jerking a thumb towards it. "Interesting choice of décor."

"It is rather, isn't it?" I mused. "It's there for sentimental reasons, really. It belonged to Carine's father."

He frowned slightly. "Is that the same father who taught her vampires were bad?"

"Yes," I admitted. "Although in his defence, he wasn't exactly wrong. According to Carine, he wasn't always the easiest man to live with, but he was still her family, and all she had growing up. She's held onto that cross for a long time." I pulled on his hand. "Come in here, there's something else I want to show you."

"Okay." He still looked uncertain, but followed me without argument as I led the way into the office. I watched his eyes scan the space with interest, then widen as he turned to face the gallery wall. "Woah. That's one hell of a collection."

"It's a little more than that," I explained. "This is a life, Carine's life, laid out in pictures. Each one has a story attached to it – we could stand here all day and I couldn't tell you half of them. But there's only one you need to hear now." I moved across so we were standing directly in front of the largest canvas, Solimena's portrait of Carine and her friends in Italy. Of course, I already knew every detail of the painting, so my eyes were on Beau as he took it in; I saw his tiny frown of confusion, then the slight widening of his eyes as he spotted the figure in the background, an almost perfect rendering of my mother.

"College roommates?" he asked weakly, his attempt at a joke falling flat.

I smiled without humour. "Something like that. Carine is from England originally, but after her revelation that she could feed from animals, she made her way to mainland Europe in search of others who might share her feelings regarding humans. She also studied at many of the universities and discovered her love for medicine. It was while she was living and practicing in Italy that she found this group."

Beau was studying the picture more closely now, as if trying to analyse every face. "Who are they?"

I forced myself to remain calm and detached. "They are called the Volturi. Suspicious, Athenodora and Marcus." I pointed each one out in turn. "And on the floor there is Mele, one of their servants."

His eyebrows went up. "Servants? Like they're… royalty or something?"

I shrugged one shoulder. "It's not a title they've ever claimed, but it is an apt description. They are the leaders of our world, and their rule is absolute. Do you remember I mentioned the vampires who are invested in our secrecy?"

Understanding dawned across his face instantly. "This is them?"

I nodded. "They have built their power upon this one core law – that humans can never know we exist – and they are absolutely ruthless in their enforcement of it. Over the course of more than two thousand years, they have established a reputation for swift and merciless punishment that has brought them fear and respect in equal measure. There are almost none of our kind left alive who remember what the world was like before them, and that is not an accident." I locked eyes with Beau, willing him to grasp the gravity of what I was saying. "To defy them is to invite death. That's why all of my family have been so concerned about this…" I gestured between us. "Why I had to keep such a distance, why every choice I have made to get closer to you is reckless and selfish and irresponsible." I closed my eyes, hanging my head in shame. "Unfortunately, the damage is already done, so all I can do is apologise for exposing you to such danger."

There was a moment of silence. When I chanced a look at him, Beau was deep in thought.

"Are you planning any trips to Italy soon?" he finally asked, an almost casual tone to the question that threw me somewhat.

"No…" I said slowly, frustrated and a little concerned that I couldn't see where he was going with this.

He nodded thoughtfully, like this was what he expected to hear. "And is there any chance they'll stop by for an unexpected visit?"

I began to understand what he was getting at. "No, the leaders almost never leave their home city. They have guards who travel the world doing their bidding, and I suppose some of those might stop in if they were in the area… but they would have to know we were here, and they would probably need something to justify the detour."

"Alright then." Against all logic, Beau was smiling now. "So what I'm hearing is, as long as we don't give them a reason to pay attention to us, they won't have a clue what's going on. You're not going to tell them anything, and I definitely won't, so…" He held out his hands as if presenting a gift. "We're good, right?"

I could feel the sceptical look on my face. "You make it all sound very easy."

He shrugged. "Just saying it how I see it. If there's something I'm missing, please let me know, but from what you've said, it sounds to me like we just have to stay off their radar. Obviously I'm not going to go running my mouth telling everyone what you are, and I guess we'd have to try and make sure I'm out of the way if any other vampires come to town."

"For multiple reasons," I interjected darkly.

Beau either didn't notice my dour tone or did an outstanding job of hiding how it affected him. "Sure. Look, I don't mean to downplay how serious this is, and I get it, I promise. But I just feel like as long as all this stays between us, then the danger's maybe not as immediate as it seems."

I gazed at him in wonder. Was it just a lack of knowledge that made him so cavalier, or could he actually be right? Could everything really be alright, if we could just keep this new secret safe? The morose, Edward-ish voice in the back of my head reminded me that it was a very big 'if'.

"At least you acknowledge it," my actual brother muttered from up in his bedroom.

Oh, shut up, I told them both, then added more firmly, Remember you made me a promise.

"He can't hear me," Edward grumbled, but fell silent.

Beau was contemplative again, looking at me like he was analysing my expression just as closely as I was his. "I keep thinking you're the one with all the answers, but you're figuring this all out as we go, just like me, right?"

"Quite so," I agreed reluctantly. "This is not how we typically deal with people that find out the secret. We're in uncharted territory, that is certain."

"How do you typically deal with them?" He was curious, not a hint of fear, his only desire to understand and to help.

"Well, we don't go around kissing them and inviting them to meet our parents," I said wryly, enjoying his little laugh at my terrible humour and allowing myself the briefest smile. "No, usually we wouldn't let anyone close enough to get suspicious. Edward and Alice are our best lookouts, but we all pay attention to the signs that someone might be on the verge of finding out. We do our best to get them off whatever scent they've caught, and if we can't, then we're always prepared to leave and start over somewhere new. Sometimes there is time to give our excuses – an emergency with a distant relative, a problem with our home, a new job offering somewhere far away. Other times, we simply disappear. We've done it before, and I have no doubt we shall be forced to do it again."

"And no one finds it strange when you just vanish like that?"

I shrugged one shoulder. "There are those who wonder, of course, but if we've done it right, they do not wonder for long."

I had not meant my words to come out sounding quite so threatening, but the silence that fell in their wake was decidedly ominous. Beau looked worried, and when I read him, he was flooded with the fervent desire to keep our secret, and specifically to keep me safe so I wouldn't have to leave. My heart ached for him, and the pressure I had so abruptly and unintentionally placed on him.

Suddenly, Edward's voice broke into our private moment again, but this time only a soft murmur, lacking his usual irritation or snark. "Find a way to distract him. He's getting overwhelmed, and he needs a moment to collect himself."

Thank you, I thought, putting as much gratitude as I could into my mental tone. It wasn't approval, exactly, but it was a step beyond what I had asked him for, a step in the right direction.

"Don't get used to it." There was a wry tone to my brother's voice now, nearer to sarcasm, but still stopping just short of it.

I pulled gently on Beau's hand that I was still holding to get his attention. "Shall we go on with the tour? This was all I had to show you in here, unless you'd like to hear the story of another picture."

His eyes scanned over the wall, and then he pointed to one frame, seemingly at random. "That one?"

I peered at the picture, which was a photograph, one of very few in the collection that was largely paintings and sketches. I couldn't help smiling when I realised which one he'd chosen; six graduation caps lined up two by two on the metal steps of a stand of bleachers, propped up so they leaned on an angle between the step and the riser, a ribbon-tied diploma balanced against the side of each one. The crisp navy blue stood out against the white and chrome, even on dated sixties Kodachrome paper.

"Our first time graduating, after Alice and Jasper arrived," I explained. "We don't all go into the same school year often because it's hard to convince anyone that we're all the same age, or that Carine and Earnest could possibly handle so many seventeen or eighteen-year-olds all at once. It's bad enough even when we spread out like we have here. But the first time, we all agreed we wanted to do it together."

"That's kind of cool." He was smiling just a little, the distraction apparently working already. "I like that colour. Much nicer than the Forks graduation robes."

"Oh?" I quirked an eyebrow at him as I began leading him out of the study; he followed me without protest. "What can we look forward to here?"

"Yellow." He wrinkled his nose. "And not even a nice muted pastel or a darker mustard. Bright, golden arches yellow."

I matched his expression. "Delightful."

Beau laughed lightly. "I bet you'll still look amazing in it."

"We'll have to wait and see, I suppose."

We passed the cross and climbed the stairs to the top floor, and I returned to my role as tour guide.

"Carine and Earnest's room is in there, that's Edward's on that side, and this…" I brought us to a stop in front of the final door on the corridor. "…is me."

Beau eyed the door curiously, then grinned and gave me a conspiratorial look. "Think we need to keep the door closed here?"

I giggled. "Well, given that everyone can hear us no matter what, I would say that it's entirely up to you, Beau."

I pushed the door open and led him inside, feeling suddenly nervous as I welcomed the first person outside of my family into my most private space. I watched as he took it in like he had every other room in the house, curiosity foremost in both his face and his wants. He'd left the door open, and I tried not to read it as him leaving an escape route, but as the same respect and adherence to the rules laid out by his father that he had showed at his house.

To distract myself, I tried to see the room as he would. It was a tidy space, decorated in greens and whites, feminine without being overly frilly. Unlike many of my siblings, who displayed their passions with pride – be that clothes, music, books, or, in Rosalie's case, a giant mirror so she could see her reflection from almost every corner of the room – I preferred to keep my things tucked away, out of sight but all in their place so I could find whatever I needed at a moment's notice. I suddenly wished I'd left some clutter out, even if it was just a novel on the bedside table or a dress over a chair; I wanted to give him some sort of clue, some hint to tell him more about who I was. Instead, I just followed him as he looked around, moving to stand near the window.

"What do you think?" I asked when the silence began to feel uncomfortable.

"Well, you were right," he commented, quickly elaborating when he saw my quizzical look. "It is you. Very you. I mean, I didn't really know what to picture when I thought about your room, but this is exactly right for you." It was his turn for a questioning expression again as he gestured to the bed. "Although this seems pretty elaborate for someone who doesn't sleep."

I rolled my eyes. "It's just nice to have somewhere to stretch out when I want to relax. I don't need it, per se, but I want it, and as far as I'm concerned, that's as good a reason as any to have a thing. Besides, a bedroom without a bed is just wrong, don't you think? Edward only has a sofa and the space simply doesn't look right."

My brother growled, but it was playful, and I knew he didn't truly take offense.

Before Beau could answer, the cloud cover outside parted, a bright beam of late afternoon sunlight bursting through and lighting up the room. To my astonishment, Beau gave a cry of alarm and abruptly dropped my hand to wrap his arms around me, drawing us into a tight embrace and spinning me away from the window.

"Beau!" I protested, my muscles locking down on instinct lest an errant movement accidentally hurt him. My eyes flickered around the room, searching for the source of his sudden fear. "What's wrong?"

"Are you okay?" he asked frantically, ignoring my question and pulling away, looking me hurriedly up and down. "Did any of it get you?"

"Any of what?" I frowned, completely perplexed.

He looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "The sun, obviously. What do I do? Are there blackout curtains or shutters or something?"

Realisation dawned, and I couldn't help it – I had to laugh. At the same time, a warm rush of affection welled up inside my stomach; he was trying to protect me. I could only marvel and wonder what I had possibly done to deserve someone like him.

"The sun won't hurt me, Beau," I finally managed to say between giggles. "That's just a story."

He blinked a few times. "It is?"

"Yes, I promise." I'd calmed enough to stop the hysterics, but the smile felt glued to my face. "Didn't you see the windows downstairs? The whole back side of the house is glass, do you really think we'd build it that way if we were worried about being roasted by a stray sunbeam?"

"Oh." He was starting to look embarrassed now, a pink tint rising up his neck. "Well, it seems obvious when you say it like that."

I cupped his cheek gently. "You weren't to know. Really, it's very sweet of you to defend me like that. Thank you."

"You're, uh, welcome, I guess." Beau's heart was hammering, and he seemed to be having some trouble catching his breath.

"We avoid the sun," I went on, carefully moving away in the hopes that he could compose himself more easily if I weren't so close. "Just not for quite that reason. Do you want to see?"

"See?" His expression was still a little dazed, and I couldn't quite tell if it was confusion or if he was still overcome by my close proximity.

Perhaps a little more space would help him collect himself, I reasoned, and took another half-step back, gesturing toward the window. "May I?"

He shook himself slightly and nodded, moving out of my way. There was worry creeping back onto his face, but also a burning curiosity.

Deciding that stepping fully into the sun might be more than his nerves could take right now, I instead shrugged out of my jacket, throwing it back onto the bed, and stuck just my forearm into the beam of light. The familiar refracted rainbows immediately lit up the room as my skin glittered from my fingertips up to my elbow.

"Woah," Beau breathed, his eyes wide as saucers.

I smiled, turning my hand back and forth and wiggling my fingers, making the rainbows dance. "Pretty, isn't it?"

He didn't answer right away, just moved around me so he could take hold of my hand and pull gently. Seeing immediately what he wanted, I inched further into the light until my entire arm up to the cap sleeve on my shirt was sparkling. I moved slowly, stopping every few inches, advancing only when he gave another tug to coax me forward, until at last I stood fully in the sun. I could only imagine what I looked like to him; the contrast between our joined hands was stark, and I was sure I had never been more obviously 'other' than I was in that moment. But I wasn't truly afraid of a poor reaction, not anymore. Whatever else I had learned in the last week, one thing was abundantly clear – I could trust Beau. The boy did not have a judgemental bone in his body, and he accepted me for everything I was, everything I had done, and everything that came with loving me.

As if to prove my point, his free hand came up to brush softly across my cheek, just the faintest touch of his fingertips.

"Beautiful," he whispered. "You're so beautiful, Edythe."

I caught his hand and curled it against my cheek, holding it there and leaning into the warmth of his touch as my eyes closed. That familiar electric charge crackled between us, not a spark but instead a low hum, a constant flow of heat and energy. I let myself sink into the sensation, wishing we could stay in this moment forever.

I felt the waft of air across my face before his lips gently pressed to mine. I stayed perfectly still, letting him lead. This kiss was softer than the one we'd shared in the woods, and far more controlled, but no less intense for it. Even with a century of memories under my belt, I had no words for the feeling that surged through me, filling me from the ends of my toes to the top of my head. As impossible and illogical as it was, I wanted never to move again.

But of course, Beau had to pull away eventually, though he pressed his forehead to mine and his breath puffed against my lips, his own still close enough that I could feel them move as he whispered, "Edythe, can I tell you something?"

I smiled. "Of course, Beau, anything."

To my disappointment, he pulled back, and I opened my eyes to see a thoughtful expression on his face, a touch of nervousness in his eyes. He almost seemed to be choosing his words, only to give up a moment later and just let them spill out in a rush. "Well, I know it's super early, and maybe it's too soon for this, but… I've been thinking about it for a while, and now I'm pretty sure… no, I'm completely sure…" He took a deep breath in through his nose, releasing the air in a rush before he looked me directly and determinedly in eye. "I love you, Edythe."

I had suspected, and I had hoped, but nothing could have prepared me for how it felt to hear those words. It was the kiss and more, so much pure happiness that I was afraid my body wouldn't be able to contain it. Where words had eluded me before, they now rushed to the tip of my tongue, declarations and confessions battling each other to be the one to answer him. But I knew none of them were right, that there was only one thing I needed to say to him.

So I took his face gently between my hands and said simply, "I love you, too."

A surprised smile spread slowly across his face. "Yeah? Really?"

"Really." I giggled and pulled him in for another kiss.

There would be trials ahead of us, of that I could be certain. Disapproving siblings would surely be the least of our problems, and there was still every chance of some disaster shattering this fragile peace we had managed to cobble together. But I was just as certain that so long as we held on to this most fundamental truth – that I loved him, and he loved me – we would find our way through. We would have our future, whatever it looked like. We would make a life together, one which was ours and ours alone.

This was just the beginning.