Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto or Adventure Time

V: The Lethargic Ninja II

The place was so huge walking became a drag. They walked for thirty minutes and were only halfway done. Princess showed him around, tried to hide her excitement but he saw the little bounce in her steps. She loved the place. Merry as she was, her energy hopped right over Shikamaru. In all honesty, he couldn't take anything she showed him seriously. How could he? Eighty percent of this place was Choji's lunch.

He shuffled behind her, nodding in false interest as Princess praised everything she came across; the banana guards, the leisure room, the library, the grand hall, the nursery, the hospital, you name it. She looked over and told him the castle had everything, and when he asked if it had a smoking room she kicked him.

On the way, they stumbled upon the laboratory, the door was ajar. Shikamaru unconsciously stopped when he spotted Bubblegum through the door crack. With a lab coat and large circular spectacles, she paced all over, to and fro, left and right, muttering to herself, bags under her eyes as she occasionally jotted on anything that wasn't paper and mixed...liquids. Hmm, maybe it was a bad time to bring up cigarettes.

"Is Bubblegum still in there?" Princess asked.

He peeked through the crack and nodded.

Princess walked over. He shifted to let her through.

Shikamaru waited by the door and peeped in. Princess was halfway into the room and Bubblegum hadn't even noticed.

"So... what's that?" Princess almost sang.

Static shot through Bubblegum, from her feet up to her hair. The gummy princess squealed, held a half-empty beaker and a flask behind her, attempted to hide it after she'd been caught. It was no use, her head drooped and she placed them back on the refectory table, by some graphs and blueprints.

"Decorpsinator serum," she mumbled.

Princess gasped. The hell was a decorpsinator serum? "How's it coming along?"

"Oh." Bubblegum looked at her. "W-Well..."

Aaaand they rambled...

And rambled.

And rambled.

Shikamaru made no attempt to grasp what they spoke about but it sounded impressive. He stopped looking in and leaned on the wall by the door, arms folded. Good thing the castle had a library. The more he understood this place, the easier it'd be to get out.

"Oh, Pineapple finally got up?" Bubblegum asked. Shikamaru told her she could just call him that since she took his name to the back and butchered it to a bloody mess. "I'm glad he's doing fine."

"Yeah, he wants his cigarettes back." Princess chuckled. "Wanted to speak to you about it."

Bubblegum hummed, as if in thought. Unexpected but at least she didn't immediately shut down the idea. "Where's he?"

"By the door, was showing him 'round the castle."

"Oh, sorry to interrupt then."

"It's fine, we were halfway done," said Princess. "Get some rest, will you?"

A pause.

"Please?"

"I'll try."

For a moment, Princess was silent, she then sighed. "Of course, you will..."

Bubblegum strained a chuckle, sheepishly scratching the back of her hair.

Princess stepped out, closing the door behind her. She shook her head, stayed quiet for a few secs, and when he was about to ask if she was good, Princess said, "the laboratory, a hub of innovation and a staple..."

Shikamaru tuned her out as she rang its praise and walked ahead. He took a step forward when the lab door creaked ajar, Bubblegum peeked out.

"Wow, I...I'd call this a miracle if I believed in such things." Her voice was dry and low but she managed a chuckle.

He sighed as Bubblegum signaled Princess for a minute. She motioned him closer. Shikamaru placed his hands on his knees, kept his head and ears close to the door.

"The cigarettes, I...I still have them." She leaned on the knob. "We can talk about it, I'll hear you out."

"If?"

Bubblegum frowned, probably at his implication. Of course, she said nothing because the implication was true. "I... I'm hosting a party for someone, soon. So, uh, I..."

He autofilled. "You want me to stay in the room."

"Uh, no..."

He autofilled. "Or stay somewhere else until the party's over."

"No, that's not..."

He scratched his head and autofilled. "Uh, you want me to attend?"

"No, let me—wait... exactly." She shook her head. "I want you to attend. Want you to meet someone," she said. "If you come, I'll...I'll hear you out."

"Hm, sounds like a—"

"No!" She hushed him like she knew what he was about to say. "No, it isn't. I promise."

He sighed.

"You'll come?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Yes." She smiled at him. "Thanks."

He stood upright. "Anytime." Even without the bargain, he'd come still, as long as she asked. The cigarettes were just half the reason. Other than that, he thought the party was pointless.

"Alright, I'll let Princess finish the tour. I'll probably still be here by the time you're done. Don't tell Princess, though." She covered a yawn with her hand. "Drop by later so we can talk, okay?" With that, she shut the door.

If he got the pack back, then it meant he could freely use the rest without worry. At least she'd hear him out, even though he was unsure about convincing her but he'd cross that bridge when he got there.

"Done?" Princess asked.

He gave a quick thumbs up and shuffled over. They resumed. Another thirty minutes later and Shikamaru had memorized the entire castle. Finished at about two o'clock, afternoon. He walked Princess to the entrance, drew the line going out. Not yet, at least.

"That's pretty much everything. I'll head to work, shift's by four."

"Two hours early, how diligent."

"Appreciate the compliment," she said. "Won't you see me off?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "As far as I go."

"Why not?"

"Tired."

"Of course." She rolled her eyes. "At times, I wish Bubblegum was like you."

"A guy?"

"Lazy." Princess chuckled and Shikamaru shook his head. "She's pushing herself way too hard."

"Well, it's not all bad."

Maybe it was what he said or how he said it because Princess glared at him, hard. "Are you serious?" she asked.

"Ah, I mean, It's not all bad she keeps herself busy," he said in defense. "It's a good way to stay relevant, not only to her subordinates but to other kingdoms as well since it's kinda important."

Princess looked at him funny.

He sighed, then broke it down. "She's a huge part of the kingdom. If she's active, the kingdom is active. If she sleeps, the kingdom sleeps, so on, so forth," he said. "As a benchmark, you basically want to avoid stagnation. If she isn't active enough to achieve that benchmark then she's not running a kingdom, she's running a bullseye."

From there, it was easy to swoop everything away. Wouldn't happen, though, he doubted that was possible in a place like this. The only thing these people had to worry about were, uh, what, maybe ants? Yeah, ants.

Princess stared so much it unnerved him. He arched a line of a brow. They were silent for about a minute, could hear the slight breeze that whizzed past both of them. In an attempt to defend himself, he'd gone from pan to fire. He pressed his lips together and took a breath.

She opened her mouth.

"Don't ask how I know this, please."

Princess almost screamed. She pinched the bridge of her nonexistent nose, holding it in. "Oh, shoot," she muttered and clicked her fingers. She settled for, "why do you know this?"

That was less of a drag to answer. "For work."

"Which was?"

"Advisor."

"To?"

"The Hok—Uh, a king," he said. Guessed it was the same thing? "That was before I crashed here, though." She was about to say something. She'd probably ask, 'what kingdom?' and he'd say 'far away,' and she'd ask, 'how far?' and a simple lie would go from convenient to a hassle. So, he cut her off. "But, that's beside the point," he said. "That's just what I meant when I said 'it's not all bad.' Because, at the end of the day, it's not wasted or meaningless effort."

"It's just...I don't want her giving out."

"Yeesh, aren't you a doctor?" said Shikamaru. "If she gives out, fix her up."

"It'll happen again."

"Then keep at it," he said. "As many times necessary."

She paused for half a minute, then huffed. "Fair point," she said. "Still think overworking herself is ridiculous."

"Choosing to rule a kingdom, is ridiculous," he said. That was probably the highest form of a hassle. "That and being a doctor."

"Hey!"

It was already half-past two. No need to keep the model employee away from work. "Later, Princess."

She squeezed the strap of her bag. "Yeah. Take care of yourself." She turned and waved. "And look out for Bubblegum too."

He half waved and watched her disappear through the vanilla-paved road, frowned when he glimpsed some other things—uh, people, they were different types of treats with legs.

Toys.

It was a good word to describe this dimension and the people within. They were like toys. Toys he was just too old to be playing with. Probably why he could never take anything here seriously. He shook his head. A shame he was also caught up in this little toy world, amongst little toy people, trapped in a little toy body. Damn, sorry for the intrusion. Now, he had to put up with them.

It wasn't necessarily a bad thing but in a world like this, he felt literally anything could happen and that sliver of unpredictability made it a drag.

He turned and headed up to the library. The earlier he started, the better.

Some banana guards spotted him, they nodded in his direction and continued their...card game. It wasn't the regular card game he knew of. Card Wars, the back read.

They were slacking off and for some reason, it humored him.

Shikamaru spent his entire afternoon and evening sorting through books. Took a handful back to his room, the condition was perfect; dim-lit with the bed made and cold from the aircon. Just as he left it. Instead of sleeping like he planned, though, he sat and read till late evening. Damn, this place was...it was like several annoying kids piled up, discussed amongst themselves, and thought up the most ridiculous world, fitting every single concept they could imagine into it. Just... went out of their way to make it a drag.

It was near midnight at fifteen to twelve and he'd barely scratched the surface. Went at a snail's pace, on and off, half because he was Shikamaru and half because the more he read, the less he understood.

He bookmarked page fifty of 'The Sweet System,' which was candy people biology. It desensitized him and prepared him for what he might see outside. He still had a bunch other books waiting for him. A groan left him as he shifted his chair and set the book on the reading table. He'd continue after a glass of water.

It was a bit comforting to hear crickets outside, along with the light from fireflies just out the window. Nights were the better part of the day, the most peaceful. It'd be perfect if he could see the clouds, though, but he'd allow it. Shikamaru shuffled in the dark and grabbed some water from a dispenser by the staircase. Ah...satisfying.

Oh, yeah. He thought to check on Bubblegum, she told him to drop by. Shikamaru was hours late but he needed an excuse to postpone his reading anyway. She was probably already asleep. Down the hallway, a distinct light in the darkness came from the space beneath the lab door.

No way, he chuckled as he pushed open the door. Well, he was right, she was asleep. Bubblegum sat on the floor, her arms and head rested on the table. She slept with a marker in hand, stopped an equation halfway. The table was littered with letters and numbers and symbols and man, the last time he saw stuff like this, he was half asleep next to Naruto and Kiba while Iruka screamed at them. How nostalgic, was a miracle he could still recognize some of them.

Shikamaru tapped her. "Oi, go to your room, you'll catch a cold."

She grumbled, ink on her cheeks and lab coat.

Troublesome. He scratched his hair and thought for a bit. He couldn't leave her here, and he probably wasn't privileged enough to wake a banana guard and have them carry her to her room. He pulled her up instead and carried her in a piggyback. His eyes widened when he took a knee. She wasn't heavy or anything, he just forgot he was extremely light now. His limbs were noodles after all. He heaved himself up and trudged out of the lab, took extra care to keep the markers and ink intact in case she needed it tomorrow.

He groaned when he got to the staircase. Princess left out Bubblegum's room during the tour for obvious reasons but it was hard to forget it. He climbed the stairs and it was the tensest walk since he basically carried an entire kingdom on his back through more than thirty feet of creaky, rugged stairs, in the dark. It suddenly felt like that was the first time he'd ever done something as simple as climbing stairs.

Imagine slipping.

Ugh. He frowned and unconsciously walked slower until he made it to the top. What a relief. Shikamaru placed her on her king-sized bed and held his knees to catch his breath. His back stung, he was sure the injury wouldn't reopen, Princess stitched them real tight.

He righted himself and smoothened his shirt. For a second, her eyes twitched and she grumbled and turned her back to him. Shikamaru pulled the sheets over the candy princess.

He remembered the first thing he saw that night. When she backed those cupboard doors close, kept them shut—probably after moving his unconscious body over—as wild animals rammed at her back, yet, she worried for him, a stranger.

At that time, it made him sigh because he thought it impossible for someone like that to exist, let alone a princess. Could only happen in a place like this. Why she did so was none of his concern but one thing Shikamaru disliked was debt and at that exact moment, in that cupboard, he decided to pay her back for it. At any given opportunity. Kami knows, if it was him, he'd be dead. Why bother for a stranger? That'd be such a drag.

He shut the lights and left, closing the door behind him. On his way, he came across that little peppermint butler who just thanked him and continued on his way. Huh...something about the little guy made Shikamaru uneasy. Not worth keeping in mind rent-free, though. Back to research, he'd skim about two or three books before calling it a night.

Snickering.

Snickering echoed from chambers of ice within a Kingdom buried in eternal winter. An old wizard with a long beard of white concocted a potion that would enable him seize the heart of the bubblegum princess.

The potion was pink and had a sweet, strawberry fragrance to it. He thought it romantic—poetic even, considering it was just like her, the same flavor, the same color.

Yet. That same fragrance made him weak, made him dizzy, and soon, the world went black. Maybe it was fatigue, yes, that was it. He felt his chest pound, his heart beat faster, and faster...

And faster.

Like it would pop right out of his chest.