A/N in this chapter A lot might look familiar. all recognizable characters and writing belongs to S.M. no copy write is intended. also going back in time just a bit on the first part of this chapter. happy reading.

Chapter 31

"Jacob!" Edward's singsong voice rang in his head. "Jacob, stay with us!" Long icy fingers wrapped around his neck, palms pushing into the pulse point. "I made a promise, Jacob. Don't you make me break it."

"Let me see." Carlisle's voice. "His carotid artery was torn."

"He's not healing." Edward's voice again.

"Could be from the blood loss. I'll have to stitch it." Their voices became echo's before fading out.

"Jacob, can you hear me?" Carlisle's voice reverberated through his head, sounding as if he were underwater. Cold fingers pried his eyes open one at a time, a bright light pierced through his fuzzy vision.

"He hears you." Edwards voice.

"We did all we can for now." That was the doc again. Right? Jacob's head swam, He tried to open his eyes, but other than shadowy color and bright flashes of light he could see nothing.

"His pulse is still thready and weak." his voice sounded worried.

"I know Edward, but he will start to heal. The others need our help now."

"Hang in there, Jacob. For Bella." Edward whispered. "She still needs you."

Edward's burning scent seemed to linger before He heard Jarid say. "I've got him."

"Rosalie," the doc sounded farther away now. "Help me push Embry's arms back into their sockets, then we can fix his hip. Edward, fix Quill's leg. Then we can all work on Paul."

"We should probably fix his jaw last." Edwards voice.

A loud bang sounded somewhere in the house. If he had to guess, Paul threw something at Edward.

"Hey, buddy," Jared whispered. At least he thought he was whispering. His hearing seemed to be fading out again. "You're never going to believe it.'' He felt the warmth emanating from his friend before Jarids hot hand gripped his arm. "A leech bite literally makes our blood boil," Jared chuckled. "No worries though man. After the venom all bubbles out the wound closes up like nothing happened. Seems to hurt like hell in the meantime though." The light was fading again, too. "Hay, doc, I think he's passing out. What do I do?"

"It's alright, you can let him rest."

"Hear that, brother." Jarid said. "You can sleep. Just make sure you wake back up."

Bella was first aware of the cool hands touching her. More than one pair of hands. Armes holding her, a palm curved to fit her cheek, fingers stroking her forehead and more fingers pressed lightly into her wrist.

Then she was aware of the voices. They were just a humming at first, and then they grew in volume and clarity like someone was turning up the radio.

"Carlisle —- it's been five minutes." Edwards voice, anxious.

"She'll come around when she's ready, Edward." Carlisle's voice, always calm and sure. "She had too much to deal with today. Let her mind protect itself."

But her mind was not protected. It was trapped in the knowledge that had not left her, even in unconsciousness —- the pain that was part of the blackness.

She felt totally disconnected from her body. Like she was caged in some corner of her head, no longer at the controls. But she couldn't do anything about it. she couldn't think. The agony was too strong for that. There was no escape from it.

Jacob.

Jacob.

No, no, no, no, no…

"Alice, how long?" Edward demanded, his voice still tense; Carlisle soothing words had not helped.

From further away, Alice's voice. It was brightly chipper. "Bella will open her eyes in thirty-seven seconds. I wouldn't doubt that she can hear us now."

A warm hand gripped hers. "Bells, baby." Charlie's voice, soothing. "It's okay, you're safe."

Yes, she was safe. Did that really matter?

Then cool lips were at her ear, and Edward was speaking the words that allowed her to escape from the torture that had her caged inside her own head.

"He's going to live, Bella. Jacob black is healing as I speak. He'll be fine."

As the pain and dred eased, she found her way back to her body. her eyelids fluttered.

"Oh, Bella," Edward sighed in relief and his lips touched hers.

"Edward," she whispered.

"Yes, I'm here."

She got her lids to open, and stared into warm gold.

"Jacob is okay?" she asked.

"Yes." he promised.

She watched his eyes carefully for some sign that he was placating her, but they were perfectly clear.

"I took care of him myself." Carlisle said then; she turned her head to find his face only a few feet away. Carlisle's expression was serious and reassuring at the same time. It was impossible to doubt him. "He is healing, but it will take some time before he is on his feet again."

She swallowed thickly. She looked over to see Charlie now standing behind Billy with his hand reassuringly gripping the other man's shoulder. Billy looked as if he had aged ten years. His skin was sickly pale and appeared to be drooping as if every cell in his body felt the strain. With all that Billy lost over the years, it was a wonder how he wasn't the one laying past out on the ground.

He looked up, catching her eyes and reached out his hand to her. She took it, and with unexpected strength, he pulled her up into his lap. They wrapped each other up in a tight hug, both crying, sharing their fear, pain, and relief.

Once Bella calmed down enough she looked around. "Where is everybody?"

Edward answered. The wolves are all in the house. Some of them will be coming out shortly."

"And Esme, Jasper… Rosalie?"

Edward pursed his lips.

Sam came out the door and said. "I would like to know the same thing. Did you all catch the three that got away or are they still looking?"

"We caught up with them." Carlisle said.

The blond female was with you back at the den after the fight. I'm guessing that means the rest of your coven wasn't destroyed either." Sam said.

"No, they are perfectly safe, thank you." Carlisle's tone was a bit sharper than usual.

"Then where the hell are they?" Sam growled.

"Alaska, at least that's where they are going," Carlisle admitted.

"What? Why are they going there?" Charlie interrupted. "Are you all leaving? What about this other threat? The Vampire royalty or something like that."

"We are not all leaving." Carlisle let out a long sigh. "We allowed the three that ran off to live."

"You did what?!" Charlie shouted.

"Why the hell did you do that?!" Sam yelled at the same time.

Carlisle held out his hands. "They didn't want to fight. They are just children that were pulled into this situation. We made a deal with them. They will try to live by our lifestyle and let us teach them a better way. We would let them live."

"Should we be worried about the Alaskan school system having new students that might eat their classmates or the school faculty for lunch?" Charlie asked.

"No, the part of Alaska we are taking them to is unoccupied by humans."

"They have to be told they will be held to the treaty." Sam huffed.

"We will let them know." Carlisle promised.

Sam's nostrils flared. He was obviously upset with the newest vampires but he knew there was nothing he could do about it right now. "I was coming out to…"

"Yes," Edward interrupted, pulling Bella up to stand with him. "You should bring him in."

"He wants to see her too." Sam sneered at Edward.

"He will." Edward told him calmly.

Bella took a shaky breath, looking at Edward she asked, "What?"

"Jake's awake." He explained.

Bella tried to walk toward the house, but Edward stopped her. "Let his father have a minute with him."

Bella stopped reluctantly but nodded her head. Charlie walked over and put his arm around her shoulders trying his best to comfort her and himself.

About fifteen minutes later, Quil; pale and limping, and Jared; who seemed to be fine. brought Billy back out. Bella tried not to rush him, but she was sure he could see her anxiousness. He smiled reassuringly, "Jacob is very tired, but he would really like to see you."

She didn't waste any time getting into the house. She barely registered Edwards presence behind her.

The living room was turned into a makeshift hospital. There were privacy screens in between each hospital bed and more beds than patients, telling Bella they set this up before the battle. To her left she could see Embry, lying propped up half asleep. He opened his eyes slightly and gave her a small smile. She nodded at him in return. The next bed to her right had a stoic Leah talking to Sam, who sat at the end of her bed. There were a few beds but they were empty. She got to the privacy screen at the end of the room and stepped around it.

Jake was lying in the hospital bed with the metal safety rails pulled down. The bright wight bandage across his neck stood out starkly, even against his paled skin. He gazed at her through half lidded eyes, "Hey," his voice merely a whisper that he seemed to have to push out through his lips. He turned his palm up so she placed her hand in his. He caressed his thumb along the back of her hand. "I was worried about you."

"You were worried about me." she scoffed.

The corner of his lips turned up as his eyes drifted closed.

He took a breath forcing his eyes open. "Come here." He said in a breath. Bella failed to hold back a sob when his attempt to pull her closer only proved how weak he was.

She laid down beside him tucking herself against his side.

He pressed his cheek against her head. "Thank…" His words choked off as if he just didn't have the strength to finish them. His already limp body seemed to relax even more. She let herself cry in his too cool arms as he drifted to sleep.

At some point she must have fallen asleep too because a cold hand touched her back shocking her awake. The difference in the temperature of the arms she was laying in and the hand on her back was so shocking that she automatically recoiled from the icy touch.

"Shh," Edward hushed her. His cold finger Soothingly caressed her cheek.

She looked at Jacob's sleeping face. His embrace felt like a heated blanket. His temperature had risen and the color was coming back to his face. She sighed in relief.

"He is healing well." Edward whispered.

She suddenly realized how inappropriate it was for her to be laying in someone else's arms. She tried to get up but Jake's arms just tightened around her.

"Stay," Edward told her. she craned her neck to see his face. He was smiling softly. "You are good for him."

"But… I… I… I'm sorry Edward." Guilt flooded her, he shouldn't have to see her like this; so broken over someone else and in their arms .

"You love him," he murmured gently.

Every cell in her body ached to deny it.

"I love you more," she said. It was the best she could do.

"Yes, I know that too. But… When I left you, Bella, I left you broken. Jacob picked up the pieces and put you back together again. He is part of you. You are part of each other."

She laid her head back down on Jacob's shoulder wanting to deny Edward's words. She took a shaky breath and sniffled.

He whispered, stroking her hair. "It's my own fault. I may have gained your forgiveness but that doesn't let me escape the consequences."

She laid there in silence allowing Jacob's warm arms around her and Edward's cool fingers gliding through her hair to comfort her. She allowed herself to be selfish at this moment, knowing she couldn't keep both of them like this forever.

Jacob's soft snores abruptly stopped and he blinked his eyes open. He looked down at her and smiled softly. "Hi." He rasped out.

She swallowed thickly. "Hi."

He stared into her eyes for a moment before glancing behind her.

Clearing his throat, Edward announced, "I'll give you two a minute."

She didn't look back; she couldn't. Jake placed his forehead against hers. "Bell's." he whispered, his face scrunching in pain. She had a feeling that pain had nothing to do with his injury. "I've been good." He said, her brows drew together in confusion. "Do you remember that story in the bible? About the king and the two women fighting over the baby?"

"Sure. King Solomon."

"That's right. King Solomon," he repeated. "And he said, cut the kid in half… but it was just a test. Just to see who would give up their share to protect it."

"Yeah, I remember."

"I don't want to cut you in half Bella. But, I have to tell you."

"Jake." She warned.

"Please," he choked out. "Just let me say it."

She took a deep breath and inclined her head in agreement.

"I'm in love with you, Bella. I love you, and I know you love me too."

Bella sniffled. "You're right. I do love you, but that doesn't change anything."

He sighed, "I know." He layed back and stared at the ceiling. "You know the worse part? He was quiet for a moment. "The worst part is knowing what would have been."

"What might have been." She sighed.

"No." Jacob shook his head. "I'm exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us – comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken…." he stared into space for a moment and she waited. "If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…"

She could see what he saw and she knew that he was right. If the world was the sane place it was supposed to be, Jacob and she would have been together. And they would have been happy. He was her soulmate in that world – would have been her soulmate still if his claim had not been overshadowed by something stronger, something so strong that it could not exist in a rational world.

Was it out there for Jacob too? Something that would trump a soulmate? She had to believe that it was.

Two futures, two soulmates… too much for any one person. And so unfair that she wouldn't be the only one to pay for it. Jacob's pain seemed too high a price. Cringing at the thought of that price, she wondered if she would have wavered, if she hadn't lost Edward once before.

"He's like a drug for you Bella." His voice was still gentle, not at all critical. "I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug; I would have been the air, the sun."

The corner of her mouth turned up in a wistful half-smile. "I used to think of you that way, you know? Like the sun. My personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me."

He sighed. "The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight an eclipse."

He turned to look at her again, their noses rubbed together, he leaned forward, his lips touched hers before he pulled back the slightest bit and shook his head. She touched his face, Laying her hand against his cheek. He exhaled at her touch and closed his eyes. Without thought she leaned forward pushing their lips back together. Jacob's surprise didn't last long and then they were kissing. Her lips were moving with his, in strange confusing ways they'd never moved before –because she didn't have to be careful with Jacob, and he certainly wasn't being careful with her. Her fingers moved to tangle in his hair pulling him closer. He was everywhere. The heat was everywhere. She couldn't hear or feel or see anything that wasn't Jacob.

The tiny piece of her brain that retained sanity screamed questions at her.

Why wasn't she stopping this? Worse than that, why couldn't she find in herself the desire to want to stop? What did it mean that she didn't want him to stop? That her hands clung to his shoulders, and liked that they were wide and strong? That his hands pulled her too tight against his body, and yet it was not tight enough for her?

The questions were stupid because she knew the answer: It was the same reason that it would be impossible for her to tell him goodbye. She was in love with him, she loved him much more than she should, but it wasn't enough to change anything; it was only enough to hurt them both more. To hurt him worse than she ever had. She didn't care about more than that – then his pain. She more than deserved any pain this caused her. She hoped it was bad. She hoped She would really suffer.

In this moment, it felt as though they were the same person. His pain had always been and would always be her pain – now his joy was her joy. She felt joy, too, and yet his happiness was also pain. Almost tangible –it burned against her skin like acid, a slow torture.

For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of her tear-wet eyes. As if she were looking through the filter of Jacob's thoughts, she could see exactly what she was going to give up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would not save her from losing. She could see Charlie and Renee mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La Push. She could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing her. She could see the enormous red-brown Wolf that she loved, always standing as protector if she needed him. For the tiniest fragment of that second, she saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children, running away from her into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took the rest of the vision with them.

Jacobs lips were still before hers were. She opened her eyes and he was staring at her with wonder and elation. He leaned forward to kiss her again. His hands were soft on her face and his warm lips were gentle, unexpectedly hesitant. It was brief, and sweet. His arms curled around her, and he hugged her securely to him. Against his chest, where he couldn't see, the tears welled up and spilled over. She closed her eyes trying to control the pain, but she didn't have to hide, because he knew. Of course he knew.

It was very quiet. For a minute, she could hear the beating of his heart, slow and even.

"Tell me the worst part for you," he whispered.

"I think that might be a bad idea."

"Please."

"I think it will hurt."

"Please."

How could she deny him anything at this point?

"The worst part…" She hesitated, and then let words spill out in a flood of truth. "The worst part is that I saw the whole thing.- Our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all. I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy. And I can't, and it's killing me."

He seemed to be concentrating on breathing evenly.

" I knew I shouldn't have told you that."

He shook his head slowly. "No, I'm glad you did. Thank you." He kissed the top of her head and then he sighed.

"When?" He asked quietly.

She knew what he meant. "After graduation. I'm not exactly sure when; especially now that Charlie's involved."

He nodded.

"Are you scared?" He whispered.

"Yes," She whispered back.

"What are you afraid of?" She could barely hear his voice now.

"Lots of things." She worked to make her voice lighter, but she stayed honest. "I've never been much of a masochist, so I'm not looking forward to the pain. And I wish there was some way to keep him away – I don't want him to suffer with me, but I don't think there's any way around it. There's dealing with Charlie, too, and Renee… And then afterward, I hope I'll be able to control myself soon. Maybe I'll be such a menace that the pack will have to take me out."

He looked up with a disapproving expression. "I'd hamstring any of my brothers who tried."

"Thanks."

He smiled half-heartedly, then he frowned. "But isn't it more dangerous than that? In all of the stories, They say it's too hard… they lose control... People die…" He gulped.

"No, I'm not afraid of that. Silly Jacob – don't you know better than to believe vampire stories?"

He obviously didn't appreciate her attempt at humor.

"Well anyway, lots to worry about. But worth it in the end."

He nodded unwillingly, and she knew that he in no way agreed with her.

She stretched her neck to whisper in his ear, laying her cheek against his warm skin. "You know I love you."

"I know," he breathed, his arms tightening automatically around her waist. "You know how much I wish it was enough."

"Yes."

"I'll always be waiting in the wings, Bella," He promised, lightning his tone and loosening his arms. she pulled away with a dull, dragging sense of loss, feeling the tearing separation as she left a part of herself behind, there on the bed next to him. "You'll always have that spare option if you want it."

She made an effort to smile. "Until my heart stops beating."

He grinned back. "You know, I think maybe I'd still take you – maybe. I guess that depends on how much you stink."

"If you want me to come back just call. I'll be here, or there. You know what I mean."

With a sigh, he turned his cheek toward her.

She leaned in and kissed his face softly. "Love you, Jacob."

He laughed lightly. "Love you more."

She walked around the screen and quickly through the rest of the room with her head down avoiding any others that might still be there.

She rushed out the front door collapsing to the ground and let the weakness She'd fought in front of Jacob crush her. She wasn't on the ground very long. Just the mere seconds it took for Edward to get over to her and pull her into his arms. At first it was worse. Because of that other part of her. It was loud and angry, screaming at her, craving a different set of arms. So then there was fresh guilt to season the pain.

He didn't say anything, he just let her sob. She barely heard Charlie curse and rush past her into the house.

A/N Thank you for reading. let me know what you think.