"Monkey…" Chiaotzu uttered while pointing his finger at Goku.
"Huh?" Goku looked back at Chiaotzu. It was unclear if the boy just didn't get the concept of being called names that were meant to be demeaning or if he just didn't hear what the pipsqueak said to him.
"Monkey…" Chiaotzu repeated. His finger still pointing at Goku, like a rapier ready to thrust or a gun ready to fire.
"Oh, I'm not a monkey," Goku turned back and waggled his tail in front of Chiaotzu's face. "I've got a tail but I'm not a monkey. My grandpa used to say all boys had tails but now I've come to learn it's because I'm a Saiyan."
Chayote couldn't keep a straight face after seeing Goku triumph an attempt to jab at him by confronting it straight ahead and not losing his cool. Somehow, by taking the mockery dead seriously, he had managed to triumph over the bullying ghoul boy.
"Yeah, Goku's an alien, you should know a thing or that about that too, baldy, you look pretty extraterrestrial yourself…" Krillin leaned at Chiaotzu with a cringing face.
"I'm not bald, you're bald!" Chiaotzu pointed at Krillin.
"Ooh… Really showed him…" Yamcha crossed his arms over his chest and turned to Tenshinhan who began ignoring the jabbing session, considering himself above such childish exchanges but now was beginning to look increasingly embarrassed by the behavior of his undergrown friend.
"No, I'm serious…" Chiatozu looked up at Yamcha with that same, deadpan stare and removed his tight-fitting hat to reveal a single, spiraling hair that reached outward with the first sign of freedom it saw.
"Chiaotzu!" Tenshinhan lost his cool and forced the hat back over his head. "A martial artist is above such petty quarrels! A true martial artist solves his differences in an exchange of blows, not quips."
"Oh, there's no threat of any quips coming from your friend, don't worry," Yamcha replied with a smug look forcing the announcer to clean his throat.
"Did you guys hear a single word I said?" he shook his head in disbelief.
"Huh? Sorry, no…" Goku laughed out.
"Oh, you're participating this year too? Amazing, please do not decimate the island again…" the announcer turned to Goku before fixing his shades and going at it again. "Where was I…? Oh, yes… You'll be choosing your opponent and order with the aid of good, old, trusty lottery. When we call your name, please come forward and draw a slip."
Chayote closed her eyes and tried feeling up everyone in the room. Goku was the simplest standout. His power level soared above the rest and it was still most likely suppressed. Tenshinhan was second, though his power level was suppressed far further than Goku's. The full extent of either of their abilities would require a thorough punch-out to determine. Yamcha and Krillin seemed around equal and almost measuring up to Goku's power level. They, however, didn't seem too likely to know how Ki suppression worked or cared too much to suppress their power yet. Chiaotzu was a complete mystery. His power level seemed like barely above that of a mere Earthling.
Surely that couldn't have been right, someone who trained with Tenshinhan all those years should have had a power level hundreds of times above that which he was irradiating.
"All right, let's start with Jackie Chun-san…" announcer read out from his list.
"Present and at your service…" Jackie Chun nodded.
"Ooh…" Chayote felt vibrations coming off from Tenshinhan's side. He was muttering with Chiaotzu at the moment. Something in secret…
"He is no ordinary old man. We've got enough secret factors to consider in this tournament, pair him up with some other fighter that could draw out his moves." Tenshinhan looked at Chiaotzu.
Pair him up? What did he mean? Could Chiaotzu somehow manipulate the lots? How was that possible?
"Hmmm… On the other hand, pair him up with that wolf guy over there." Tenshinhan asked Chiaotzu who smiled while keeping his eyes in the same, doll-like position. There was not even a twitch in the tiny zombie boy's eyebrows.
"Ok…" Chiaotzu replied. He extended his finger, just like he did when he mocked Goku. Due to her intense concentration on the pair, the entire world outside them turned to a black shroud but Chayote could feel the escalating elevation on Chiaotzu's power level while a resonance of light came out from his fingers.
"I'm number 4, it seems…" Jackie Chun nodded to himself.
"That would be match two." The announcer penned Jackie Chun onto the board. "Next up is Yamcha."
"Yes." Yamcha nodded and approached the box.
"I'm going to introduce this guy to the reality of the world outside martial arts schools." Tenshinhan declared to the level where only Chiaotzu could hear him, Chiaotzu and anyone with supernatural powers of psychic awareness, like Chayote.
Once more the psychic resonances left Chiaotzu's fingers, betraying the peak of his true power for a brief moment while he used his unnatural technique.
"Oh, hey, look… No. 1, just like my position in the pecking order!" Yamcha smirked while showing his piece of paper to the rest of the crew who acknowledged his jest with smirks.
Chayote didn't particularly fancy this little asshole messing with the lot drawing process but given how Tenshinhan likely subscribed to the same Earthling beliefs of leaving the best fight for last, he was more than likely to wish to face Chayote last, which meant that this was just a minor inconvenience for her that would result ending up all the same. She'd have likely left the lots for the random chaotic order of drawing lots just for the fun of surprise but… Interfering now would be too much trouble, plus, the little shrimp might have gotten himself disqualified if Chayote exposed him.
That would not have been right. They both deserved a thorough beating and his powers did somewhat intrigue the grown Saiyan.
"Well, well… Chayote." The announcer read out the name of the last tournament's winner and Chayote approached the box. She had her eyes closed and concentration fully engaged when her hand went in, she wanted to hear what Tenshinhan would have to say about her.
"Hmmm… That tiny baldy seemed pretty arrogant, have him hit a brick wall with the face of his own friend." Tenshinhan shrugged.
"Ok." Chiaotzu nodded and worked his magic.
Chayote showed her piece of paper, proudly displaying the number 7 on it.
"Tenshinhan."
"Here. I'm leaving it to you…" Tenshinhan looked down at Chiaotzu.
"Yup," the shrimp replied.
"No. 2…" Tenshinhan turned right at Yamcha, showing off his piece of paper like a contract that spelled out doom for his opponent.
Yamcha seemed calm. He must have known that physically he was outmatched but he must have counted on the skill in martial arts being the deciding factor. Too bad, if Baba's description of Tenshinhan was anything to go by, Yamcha would find little to no solace in that comparison either. Still, Yamcha's power was at a point where he would not go down without a fight.
"Being someone who has been in your position of high self-esteem only to be taken to school. I pity you." Tenshinhan spoke to Yamcha without even looking at his opponent in the first round of the finals.
"I know a girl who's a brilliant inventor. You should meet her, maybe she'll find a way to make money out of sheer pride. In that case, you won't need to fight once for the rest of your life." Yamcha replied.
"Krillin!"
"Yo!" Krillin rushed up to the lots. "Number 8." He read out.
"Match four then… Wolf Man!" the announcer said.
"You sound like one of Baba's fighters." Chayote looked at the curious, blue werewolf in a red-orange gi. "How come I haven't met you?"
"What did you call me, you bastard!?" the Wolf Man growled. "Name's Man-Wolf! Do you think I'm some sort of a monster!? A Wolf Man is a savage beast, a man that turns into a wolf in the light of a full moon. I turn into a human upon full moon's light, have it nailed into your stupid heads!?"
"V-Very well, if you could just… Draw the slip." The announcer bowed in an apology of his mix-up, honestly, it wasn't the first time that the guy messed up with basic reading, to Chayote, it was part of his charm. Man-Wolf didn't waste time growling when rushing past Jackie Chun.
"Yes! Number 3!" the Man-Wolf roared out in pure ecstasy as the announcer penned the bestial competitor down by Jackie Chun's name on the board.
"Geheheheh! I'll have my bloody vengeance at long last!" Man-Wolf stared at Jackie Chun with his fangs exposed, ready to jump at the poor old man and maul him at any point but reserving just enough humanity to keep it together for now.
"Hmmm… Why is he so excited to fight someone on a whole other league like Jackie Chun?" Goku wondered.
"You, of all people, should not be asking that question, Kakarot." Chayote replied.
"As long as he doesn't hump my leg, I'm fine." Jackie Chun shrugged.
"Next… Ummm… Chow-Two." The announcer appeared particularly baffled by the name of the next competitor.
"You're wrong, it's Chiaotzu," Chiaotzu fixed the announcer without any hint of usual vitriol that took over anyone who had their names butchered by the announcer.
"Ah, I see, please advance to the lots." The announcer waited until Chiaotzu drew the lots and showed his slip to the audience. "No. 5. That means you will be fighting in the third match. I guess that means that contestant Son Goku will face Chiaotzu in the third match."
"Huh? How would you know that? Did Fortuneteller Baba teach you psychic abilities too?" Goku wondered and ran up to the box, shuffling through the one remaining slip of paper before pulling it out and showing it to everyone. "Wow! You're right! You're so amazing!"
"Hmmm… He is stronger than you, Chiaotzu, be careful. However, your psychic abilities should give you enough of an advantage to win." Tenshinhan instructed his friend.
"Sure." Chiaotzu nodded.
"Here are the rules," the announcer approached the matchboard. "The tournament finals will consist of single-round fights with no time limit. If you fall out of bounds, are knocked out for a 10-count, or plead mercy, you lose. When you hear your name called on the loudspeakers, please approach the arena."
"Mister, mister!" Goku ran up to the announcer and shook by his hip. "When can we have something to eat!?"
"Oh, that's right… I'll have something cooked up for the two of you at once." The announcer looked at Goku and Chayote.
"Awesome work, Chiaotzu." Tenshinhan complimented his little friend who answered by staring off into the distance with a lifeless stare and a dollish smile.
"Man… I ended up facing Chayote!" Krillin flailed his hands about. "In the first rounds no less!"
"You should not complain. You were so eager to show the fruits of your training! Consider this your karma. Besides, you don't always get to choose your opponents in real life too!" Jackie Chun scolded Krillin.
"Huh? You sound so much like Muten Roshi…" Krillin pointed out.
"Not this old thing again!" Jackie looked the other way.
"Hey, hey! How about you start the fights already!" the audience grew unruly outside, some of the wild shouts reached even the contestants indoors.
Drums rumbled outside before the gong rung, at long last, the finals of the 22nd World Martial Arts Tournament have begun. The announcer appeared putting all of the rising spirit of unease amongst the audience to rest. This man and his milky, underdeveloped mustache sure could manipulate a crowd.
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for your patience! We are now ready to present to you… The World Martial Arts Tournament!" the announcer lived up to his title, much to the roaring cheer of the audience.
"182 martial artists of profound skill entered the preliminary rounds… From them, only eight finalists have emerged! They will now do battle before you to determine who will claim the prize of 500 000 Zeni! Who truly will be chosen by fate as the Strongest Under the Heavens!?" like a charismatic dictator, the announcer raised his fist up into the air and focused on gesticulation. "Let us waste no more time before starting the first match! Allow Contestant Yamcha and Contestant Tenshinhan to open up the tournament finals!"
The audience rustled and cheered, they knew Yamcha from the previous tournament already. Whoever had their hats with them threw them into the sky, it was not that much due to the significance of Yamcha taking the stage but more so due to the beginning of an experience one must have been through before they could claim they have had a satisfying life – the World Martial Arts Tournament.
"It's him! It's Yamcha-sama!" Puar went wild, floating around the rest of the gang in the audience seats.
"Hmph… He better win, after abandoning me with that old coot to train alone!" two cinders blazed in Bulma's eyes as she observed Yamcha and Tenshinhan walk out parallel to each other.
"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" went the audience.
"Let's see if you have the fists to back up all that mean talk." Yamcha gave Tenshinhan a sly glance.
"I'll give you more fists than you can handle," Tenshinhan replied.
"In a world-shaking turn of events, half of the finalists have come from the Turtle School of the master martial artist – Kame Sen'nin himself! Contestant Yamcha is one of those four!" the announcer gestured at Yamcha. "What's even more surprising, a quarter of them is comprised of disciples of Kame Sen'nin's rival school of martial arts, the school led by the illusive Tsuru Sen'nin! Contestant Tenshinhan is one of those amazing two!"
"Don't lie!" Tenshinhan yelled out, angered at the announcer's declaration. "Chiaotzu and I have abandoned Tsuru Sen'nin to pursue strength on our own. We are our own martial artists and our pride will not allow that old, weak fool to take credit for what we have earned with our own two hands!"
"They really shouldn't have lumped me in with that ancient flea-bag…" Jackie Chun grit his teeth in the backstage area.
"Who's going to win!? Turtle or Crane!? I can't wait!" the audience cheered with these, or similar sentiments.
"Good luck, Yamcha-sama! Show 'em who's the best!" Puar flew up as high as he could so that Yamcha could see and hear him.
"Oh, don't you worry, Puar, guys… This guy won't be a piece of cake but… I didn't train with Korin-sama for nothing!" Yamcha shot his eyes wide open and removed all traces of smugness and vanity from his eyes. He was now prepared to duke it out with his opponents as if they had never met before and had no background whatsoever with one another.
"Even the God of Martial Arts cannot prepare you enough to face a man who has claimed his own strength!" Tenshinhan took a fighting stance and turned serious as well.
"Gentlemen, begin!" the announcer declared the beginning of the match as the gong tolled in the offstage area beside the fighting ring.
Yamcha tightened his stance, he did not wish to open up and rush ahead at an opponent he had no comprehension of. It might have been a welcome approach, not to rush at one's own defeat, however… If Tenshinhan opened up with a flurry of blows oppressive enough, the sheer difference in power and speed would have ended up the match prematurely! The best option, clearly, would have been not to step into the ring with a superior opponent but that was not the type of martial artist that Yamcha was.
As the two dashed, Tenshinhan straight at his opponent, Yamcha diagonally to the side, to have Tenshinhan come at him from a diagonal and highly uncomfortable angle which would have left plenty of openings but also limited how freely the three-eyed warrior could attack his opponent, Chayote understood the role of martial arts better. To these Earthlings, it was a way to overcome their cowardice. Earthlings were cowardly and weak by design, however, through martial arts and the core principles uniting the entire concept, they could rise above that weakness.
Martial arts taught one to seek self-improvement without stopping. To never run away from a challenge and to act honorably. All of these things were within their nature to a Saiyan, however, Earthlings had to learn that by studying martial arts. Well… Saiyans had a unique sense of honor and they couldn't quite wrap their heads around the concepts of honor in the way that martial artists of Earth could, but they replaced the concept of honor with pride.
Just like an honorable Earthling would not attack a sick and weak opponent, a proud Saiyan warrior would not either, not because such a thing was honorable but because there was nothing to challenge and be proud of in defeating a half-dead opponent. A Saiyan grew in power through challenge and adversity and finishing off a crippled half-corpse carried no risks of ever growing stronger from that experience. Just like Upa said back then, it was not a matter of good and evil, it was all just heaps of grey… Only behaviors could have been judged that way.
Yamcha's diagonal approach served its fruit. With a two-handed thrust, Yamcha found an opening and hit Tenshinhan straight in the right side of his ribs, throwing the three-eyed combatant off-balance. Quickly stepping in and confronting his opponent straight, Yamcha unleashed a flurry of wolf-paw strikes at Tenshinhan, all of them found their mark, Tenshinhan appeared overwhelmed and could only clutch up and defend himself, hoping that none of the strikes hit anything vital.
"Yeah! Go, Yamcha!" Krillin jumped up, pumping his fist up.
"Don't be so quick to celebrate, it seems you can't see right with both your eyes open…" Chayote tried grounding Krillin back down from his premature celebration.
"Yeah," Goku nodded. "Look at how many strikes Yamcha's getting in and Tenshinhan's barely even fazed, it's like his body is just taking it all in, with so many strikes, Yamcha hasn't knocked his opponent off his feet yet."
"Kyah!" Tenshinhan unleashed a wild shout and an invisible bubble of Ki that threw Yamcha's back on his butt, confused by the unnatural method of defense, Yamcha rolled on his back and got back on his feet.
"Wow, Yamcha got so many licks in and Tenshinhan was still the first one to knock Yamcha down…" Goku admired the three-eyed fighter from afar. His usually goofy attitude turned a tad more serious once he acknowledged the early exchange that usually set the pace for the rest of the match.
"Yeah, Yamcha needs either a serious ace in the hole or some trickery to get through this…" Chayote agreed.
"Don't you guys worry, Yamcha's got a little bit of both!" Krillin raised his fist up and cheered on his training partner.
Author's Note: Plenty of fans of Dragon Ball have noticed (and not in a good light) that Goku never really shared a line with Chiaotzu in the original Dragon Ball (I think in Z too, though I'm not too sure about that). So... Yeah, had to fix that as soon as I had the chance to. I feel like having Goku face Chiaotzu in the 22nd BT both sort of fixes that, results in a much more satisfying experience than Goku VS Pamputto and it also has Goku get a bit more hands-on role in the tournament where he's kind of an observer, which is never a good sign.
Of course, the con of that idea is the sacrifice of Goku VS Krillin... While that's sad, I never intended to "fix" the original work or to make it somehow better than the original with my own spin on it. I was always just penning down a supplementary, fun side story that I wanted to tell so it's not like I'm removing that fight from existence, I'm just changing things around. Who knows, maybe I'll pay that absence off in the future?
Sure, Krillin won't technically beat a minor villain of the arc, but he doesn't really need to ATM since he and Yamcha beat the last boss of the last arc so they've had plenty of good showings for the moment.