"The Ultimate Dragon Balls!" Mr. Popo gasped, clapping both of his hands across his cheeks as if he had just seen a ghost. "Where did you find those!?"
"Whoa, don't flip out on me or anythin'... I was just lookin' fer some food!" Yajirobe scratched his behind with a free hand while his right held the decorated treasure chest tightly. "All dat cat gives me is beans... Keepin' all de fish fer himself, what a cheapskate!"
"Excuse me but... Are those actual Dragon Balls!?" Krillin yelled out, looking like he felt to be either the only sane person in the temple or like he was the only mad one there. "I thought the Dragon Balls disappeared when Kami did, didn't Kami make those things!? Does this mean we can bring everyone back to life!?"
Krillin looked around with a rich smile on his face. Tears of joy squirted from the corners of his eyes but just in the shape of single droplets because something about this felt too good to be true. It was that overlooked factor that kept Chayote and Goku more serious than their bald friend. After all, if these Dragon Balls were always a factor, Mr. Popo would have long since suggested using them.
"Yes, they are actual, functional Dragon Balls. They were created by Kami-sama when he was still fused with King Piccolo, that is to say before they've split apart. These are the more powerful version of the Dragon Balls, in fact. When Kami-sama split, these Dragon Balls became inert and turned to stone, it is the only time they did so because they do not normally turn to stone ever." Mr. Popo explained, marveling the magical artifact with his eyes though with respectful fear directed toward the chest. "The only way you could have found it would be if you went through the forbidden sections of the temple..."
"Sounds like this lazy moron..." Korin scratched his cheek. "Sorry about that, Mr. Popo..."
"So we can use them to bring everyone back to life then?" Goku wondered, finally speaking for the first time after staring at these new Dragon Balls with a serious expression as if he could somehow tell they were a bad deal.
"Technically, yes..." Mr. Popo looked uncomfortable explaining it, must have been this pure heart thing that he had to maintain at all times that prevented him from lying for selfish reasons. "Though we shouldn't..."
"I can't believe it... It makes sense though, if they were created when Kami and King Piccolo were one and the same and went inert when they split, it only makes sense they'd become functional once Kami is now permanently a part of Piccolo Jr." Krillin stared at the sky gleeful like a child staring at an ice cream vendor.
"Wait... Somethin' ere don't ring much sense... You said Kami and Piccolo created these Dragon Balls together, as if in when dey was one. Den how come dese balls are "Ultimate"? Didn' Kami create the Dragon Balls?" Yajirobe scratched his head.
"These are the second set of Dragon Balls Kami-sama and Piccolo combined have created. The first one was too weak and barely worked, Kami-sama and Piccolo together feared that they'd use too much power and break the Earth with their magic the first time. This second pair was when they utilized everything they've learned after destroying the first inferior set, they're the "Ultimate" set. That's before Kami-sama and King Piccolo split and Kami made his final and greatest set of Dragon Balls." Mr. Popo explained.
"Wait, the fusion of Kami and Piccolo destroyed the first set of Dragon Balls? How does one even do that?" Chayote wondered as this was perhaps the only thing that didn't make much sense to her. Of course, someone capable of creating ultimate wishing artifacts would have made all sorts of different sets. If Chayote could have been capable of such magic, she'd have made some of them for training, hell, she'd have made another set of them just because she was bored...
"Destroy the balls when they are turned to stone." Mr. Popo answered. "Though you must not use the Ultimate Dragon Balls under any circumstances. Because the fusion of Kami-sama and King Piccolo cranked up the power of the Dragon Balls' power with this set, the costs of using them are simply too great as well."
Whatever said cost was, it sent shivers down Mr. Popo's spine and made the genie sweat profusely. Judging from the looks of it, he'd have loved to destroy these Ultimate Dragon Balls where they stood but it didn't seem like he had such power. After all, as he had clearly stated previously – the Dragon Balls could have only been destroyed once they turned to stone and, as he stated earlier, the Ultimate Dragon Balls do not become inert unless their creator is dead or split apart. Plus, if he just flung them away, the Ultimate Dragon Balls would merely be found and collected by someone unaware of their power and then he'd still have to deal with whatever cost these balls had.
"But... Can't we use them just once?" Krillin raised his hand up with two pinched fingers to show just how much usage he wanted out of the cursed artifacts. "Just to bring everyone back? We can't leave Muten Roshi, Bulma, Tenshinhan and Yamcha, Puar and Oolong, Chiaotzu and Launch all dead forever..."
"You don't understand, I would ask the Ultimate Dragon Balls to recreate Kami-sama if I could but their power is just too great. I'm sorry King Piccolo killed your friends but that is the fate of humans, they all die at one point or another." Mr. Popo objected.
"Plus, if we'd use the Ultimate Dragon Balls, we wouldn't use them just to bring everyone back." Chayote declared. "That way we'd end up using them over and over and over again... Clearly they're bad business so if we're using them – we're using them to re-activate our Dragon Balls."
"Didn't you hear what I've said!?" Mr. Popo ran out in the middle of the circle while Yajirobe picked his nose, still holding the controversial finding he had unearthed in his armpit. "We're not using them, never ever!"
"But... If we're going for that..." Krillin pondered. "Can't we just ask the Ultimate Eternal Dragon to revive Kami, as Mr. Popo said?"
"Doubt it, Kami isn't dead, is he? He's just a part of another being on a genetic level. Just like King Piccolo is. They're not dead nor are they alive. The only option for us would be to re-activate the Dragon Balls through the Ultimate Eternal Dragon's power." Chayote shook her head.
"If you use the Ultimate Dragon Balls, the Earth will be destroyed!" Mr. Popo yelled out. Everyone stopped speaking and even mumbling to themselves and turned to Mr. Popo who breathed heavily after finally explaining the stakes.
"Wait, what? That's... Random..." Chayote raised a doubtful eyebrow. "Is the Ultimate Eternal Dragon an evil asshole or something?"
"No... You don't understand. Every time the Dragon Balls of any kind are used, they expel evil energy, because the notion of a wish being granted instead of earned is inherently evil. The more powerful the wish, the more powerful the evil energy. Normally the evil energy just sort of fades away and gets recycled inside the magic of the Dragon Balls, cleansed by them over a period of centuries, but with the Ultimate Dragon Balls, they're so insanely powerful that their evil energy never disappears. It stays and destroys the planet they've been used on in a year unless the Ultimate Dragon Balls are brought back to the same planet they've been used." Mr. Popo said.
"The same planet?" Goku turned his head.
"That's right! Their power is so much more massive than that of ordinary Dragon Balls that they don't just scatter across the Earth, they scatter across the entire Universe! And you must collect and return them within the year, or else their evil energy will destroy the planet." Mr. Popo made sure to gesture as much as possible so that the ignorant humans and the indifferent Saiyans alike both understood the stakes at play here.
"Well..." Chayote scratched the area above her chest and inspected her fingernails. "It's a good thing I'm going off to space then..."
"Dr. Briefs, you will leave this giant home of yours and face your doom in the hands of the Ginkaku and Kinkaku gang, or else we'll bust in and pull you out by force!" a blue-haired punk yelled at thin air as a massive crowd of less than pleased individuals amassed behind him, led by a pair of armored bandits with eastern-style armor and elaborate face paint that looked to be right at home in this post-apocalyptic setting that the entire world devolved into.
The door to Capsule Corp opened up and the gang looked overjoyed to see one of the richest and most resourceful men alive walking out to surrender to their mob justice but they didn't see Dr. Brief walking out, they saw a towering brute of square facial features that looked as if though he was roughly stitched together and those horrific features only made the emerging giant that much more frightening.
"Leave now!" Artificial Human No. 8 yelled out at the mob in a voice that did relative injustice to his intimidating appearance. "I do not wish to fight anyone, I do not like fighting, but I will defend Dr. Brief until my dying breath!"
"Tough guy, huh?" the smaller of the face-painted bandits jumped off of the chair that rested upon the shoulders of unfortunate slaves captured by his gang and walked out in front of the gang. "Mind giving me and my brother Kinkaku a name we can carve out on your tombstone, then?"
Before the horrid scene could develop any further, a pair of flashes, black and yellow signaled the flight patterns of two flying clouds and before the ringleaders of the gang could react, swift kicks to their jaws sent them flying far away to where they couldn't have caused any trouble to anyone anymore. Their frightened gang all fled in pursuit of their ringleaders while the unfortunate prisoners they've captured fled for their lives.
"Goku-san!" Artificial Human No. 8 proclaimed in unbridled joy. A joy that combined the realization that he wouldn't need to fight any longer as well as one that accurately portrayed his excitement over the fact that one of his favorite human beings ever had just graced him with his presence alongside his friends.
"Yo, Eighter!" Goku raised his hand up as the two ran up to embrace each other.
"Is Dr. Brief home?" Chayote wondered as she tried helping Upa to haul around the chest with the Ultimate Dragon Balls but the boy seemed resolved to carry his own burden as Kami around.
"Yes, Dr. Brief is unaware of this chaos, I think. He's so happy and oblivious all the time..." Eighter nodded his head with a smile. "Why are the four of you here?" he wondered examining Chayote, Goku, Krillin, and Upa.
"We need him to upgrade the ship that Bulma made for me a little..." Chayote explained. "He's as smart as Bulma, if not smarter."
Eighter gestured for the martial artists to follow him and then moved toward the door. A cone of lasers gleamed out from a cybernetic panel beside the door and identified Artificial Human No. 8 as a possible entrant to the building. Alongside the rest of the crew, Eighter went in and took them to Dr. Brief who seemed to have been switching his attention from a exercise show on a television set attached to the ceiling of his lab, a show of questionable moral fiber and integrity, and a gadget that was, as of that moment, just a pile of nuts and bolts and steel plates.
"Oh... Chayote and Goku..." Dr. Brief turned around. "Where is that wife of mine, she's always there to stuff you with cookies when you don't want her around but just when you feel like cookies and milk..."
"Dr. Brief... We're not sure you've heard but..." Krillin poked his fingers against each other before Chayote smacked him with her hips.
"We need you to help us with something. Bulma built a ship for me but it's not fast enough. There is a sample of Saiyan spacecraft technology in where Kakarot was found and Mr. Popo mentioned something about another spaceship in Yunzabit heights... We need something fast enough to carry me all over the universe in less than a year." Chayote spoke work, she wasn't sure how the man would react to the news of Bulma's death, to be entirely honest, as she's never seen him show emotion of any sort other than the glee he displayed consuming his softcore erotic content.
"Around the universe, you say? Yes... I've helped Bulma work on a spaceship a bit like that, much slower than what you need, from what I recall but if you say you've got samples... I should be done with the upgrades in a week or so after the delivery of the tech samples. A pair of weeks if you want a stereo system..." Dr. Brief pointed out.
"He didn't even ask where Bulma is..." Krillin squinted his eyes. "Also... How come installing a functional stereo system takes the same amount of time as building a functional, universal spacecraft?"
Because of how Krillin mumbled those words under his nose as if they were only meant for him and the people around his immediate reach to hear, Dr. Brief paid them no mind whatsoever. Chayote then opened up the chest where the Ultimate Dragon Balls were held and handed one to Dr. Briefs before giving him a Dragon Radar as well.
"I also need the spacecraft to possess a working Dragon Radar for this specific type of Dragon Balls. The Dragon Radar sample here is broken after one of the ample beatings I've taken recently but... It should help, at the very least." Chayote shrugged, looking a bit apologetic about the fact she busted the priceless radar meant to find any of the seven magical wish-granting orbs.
"Oh, I do recall this model, Bulma's craftsmanship, yes..." Dr. Brief stroke his chin as he examined the device. "It should take a couple more days. If you've got time to spare, you can spend the month here, the world outside seems a bit wild recently, must be the Black Friday again..."
Eighter cleared his throat and smacked himself across the chest. He should have felt mad about the fact that Dr. Briefs didn't value the protective services that the gentle giant had provided him but it seemed as if though the absolute ignorance of the world's smartest man was its own reward to the Artificial Human.
"A month? The days don't quite add up, old man..." Chayote showed her teeth in a displeased vocal tone.
"I mean... You will need a television screen and video streaming service, right? High definition demands a good couple of weeks by itself..." Dr. Brief shrugged.
"Stop wasting our time with that garbage you Earthlings call entertainment, better spend half that time installing a decent training device." Chayote dismissed the scientist.
"Oh, Bulma built the spacecraft just for you, will you need me to make it bigger?" Dr. Brief wondered. "It might take more time to make a larger spaceship as aerodynamic, it might raise some problems..."
"Ugh... Fine, just make it enough for me, Kakarot can stay on this pathetic little planet for as long as he wants. I get the clue when I'm not wanted..." Chayote wrapped her arms over her chest and looked away, pouting. She had sort of figured that Bulma would make a spaceship that would only be designed to fit her since the blueprints that the young Saiyan provided Bulma with were all based on one-man space shuttles but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt when the scientist did just that.
"That's okay, we need Goku here to protect the Earth in case Piccolo Jr. finds his way out of the Room of Spirit and Time anyway." Krillin tried calming Chayote down somewhat. It only worked halfway.
"Sir, if you could please also return the Ultimate Dragon Ball when it is no longer useful, I'd be most grateful. If I am to be the next Kami, I need to protect these things as I was instructed to do." Upa spoke up.
"Sure thing, here, kid, you can have them for now, I'll let you know when I will need them." Dr. Briefs handed the Ultimate Dragon Ball back to Upa and shoved the gadget he was working on into a toolbox positioned by the side of the workbench, choosing instead to browse through another toolbox and take out a blueprint that Bulma had made of the spaceship she had spent entire years to design and build.
"So... Gonna be the gonna be the actual God of this rock, huh?" Chayote pocketed her hands as she nonchalantly moved from the lab to the service facilities, having Upa follow her around just since the two of them knew each other the best.
"Yup!" Upa nodded. "It's real scary but it has to be better than getting bossed around by Fortuneteller Baba the whole time. Just to be clear, I think she was preparing to sap my lifeforce away to sustain her own in some sick and twisted ritual anyway..."
"Sounds like her... Either that or sell you off..." Chayote grinned while browsing through the drawers of security officers watching the Capsule Corps premises for new clothes. Upa blushed and yelled unintelligible gibberish at Chayote when she ripped off the remaining strings of her old clothes and began changing in front of him.
"What did I tell you about that sort of thing!?" Upa yelled out.
"Oh, right... Earthlings are real shrewd about that stuff..." Chayote realized and then turned around as if that would have helped anything at all. Luckily for her, Upa followed suit, safeguarding the Saiyan's dignity even though she wasn't sure it needed safeguarding, to begin with.
"Unbelievable, just stripping herself in front of the future Kami!" Upa grumbled to himself in an unexpected return of his squeaky voice from his childhood, one that had begun to disappear bit by bit as the boy matured into his teen years.
"Yo, Upa!" Chayote said.
"What?" Upa mumbled, very nearly turning around to look at her when being spoken to but then blushing and catching himself in the unwilling act turning away.
"I'm glad you'll be the Kami of this place. Who's better to tell the good folk from bad than you, huh?" Chayote spoke with a softer tone than her usual confrontational grunge.
"Are you done?" Upa groaned in frustration, still, judging from the trembling of his voice and the sweet tone of his irritation – Chayote knew he was smiling.
"So what, do we just raise our hands up and summon the Eternal Dragon as usual?" Krillin pondered, staring at the positioned set of Dragon Balls with black stars on them. A newly built spaceship stood on three, sturdy, metallic legs behind the group, ready to take off the moment the countdown to Earth's doom starts.
"Why are you all looking at me?!" Upa grabbed his head. "Mr. Popo hasn't taught me a thing yet!"
"Come out, Eternal Dragon, appear and grant us our wish!" Goku proclaimed and raised his hands up. The Ultimate Dragon Balls lit up gold as the rest of the world sunk in gloom as dark clouds gathered in the skies.
The orbs started giving off smoke that lingered around before turning into raw, untamed energy and beamed off upward in the shape of a lightning bolt. The spot where the bolt of energy disappeared into became the epicenter of the dark clouds as they circled around the abyssal point where the energy parted the clouds. The Ultimate Eternal Dragon took almost no time at all to show up, its red outlines lighting up the artificial night before the shape of the titanic dragon solidified.
The Ultimate Eternal Dragon didn't appear to feel like any amount of size was a potential limiter to its grandeur. It could have easily fit hundreds of Eternal Dragons from Chayote's memory inside it, judging by its height alone, the Ultimate Eternal Dragon would have reached from the surface to the God's Temple without any trouble at all. Red whiskers waved on the lower part of the Ultimate Dragon's jaw as it beamed its golden eyes at the pitiful in comparison creatures that have summoned it. Instead of the green color of the Eternal Dragon from the ordinary Dragon Balls, the Ultimate Eternal Dragon was blood red with golden horns from both sides of his face with two more prominent protrusions dwarfing the rest of the layer that looked almost beard-like in comparison.
"Now, state your wish!" the Ultimate Eternal Dragon rumbled with its voice, the booming volume of the thing spread far and wide through the city that had cleaned up significantly with no more "Devil" insignia appearing and the forces of order regaining a decent foothold upon the West City and most of the rest of the world.
"Please restore the ordinary Dragon Balls..." Krillin squeaked with a frightened voice. Despite the fearful nature of the pint-sized martial artist, the Dragon appeared to hear him just fine. "C-Can you do that?" the young man wondered, seeming too nervous to take a few seconds of silence as anything less than his absolute failure in properly wording the wish.
"A simple matter..." the golden eyes of the Ultimate Eternal Dragon shined blue. "The Dragon Balls require a lifelink to function properly. I have restored them by linking them to the body and spirit of their original maker."
"W-Wait... What?" Krillin's mouth waved as he was worked up but too frightened to object.
"What bullshit!" Chayote, however, had no such reservations, "They were already linked to Kami, that was the problem, to begin with, you useless dragon!"
"You misunderstand, I have linked the Dragon Balls to the successor of the previous Kami. It was the only way that the Dragon Balls could have worked. They are a Namekian invention and therefore require a Namekian lifelink." The Ultimate Eternal Dragon explained before his outlines lit up with an intense scarlet gleam again. "I have fulfilled your wish, farewell!"
And so the Ultimate Dragon Balls rose to the skies, one after another before a surge of lightning shot them away to seemingly opposite ends of the Universe to be brought together on Earth again in one year's time unless the planet would meet a grim fate.
"I guess now we can't kill Piccolo Jr..." Goku said. "If that guy dies, both the Ultimate Dragon Balls and the ordinary ones will stop working..."
"Dragon Balls... A Namekian invention..." Chayote mumbled the far most important revelation to herself.
"Namekian? What's that?" Krillin wondered.
"That's odd, I never suspected Kami and King Piccolo to be aliens, there were clues but... Namekians?" Chayote scratched her head, too baffled to rush off to space as she needed to do.
"Wait, you know these Namekians?" Upa wondered.
"Sure, most of the Universe knows them, they're a known space-faring race. They used to actively trade with other planets until the Cataclysm." Chayote explained. "Despite not trading with other planets for something close to five hundred years anymore, Saiyan warriors are still taught about Namekians, since they can be quite dangerous opponents with scary techniques under their employ."
"Then why didn't you say anything!?" Upa freaked out.
"Kami and Piccolo didn't look like the Namekians from the pictures I've seen. Their heads were all wrinkly and their skin way too dark. Plus, King Piccolo's spawns looked nothing like Namekians at all..." Chayote appeared worked up before just shrugging it off. "Oh well... I guess they just grow old really weird. Anyway, I've gotta go! See ya when I bring you your ripoff Dragon Balls back!"
Goku stood there in stitches while the rest of the crew just stared at Chayote with blank expressions, the kind they used to look at Goku with when the young man said something profoundly stupid but now the Saiyan girl from outer space took all of that honor for herself before taking off to the depths she came from.
"We've got to collect the Dragon Balls and bring everyone back now..." Krillin was the first one to speak up after Chayote soared through the cosmos in search of the first Ultimate Dragon Ball signal.