Protagonists are the worst. They always get some bullshit powers, get the girl, and get involved in shit that they really shouldn't be.

I'm confident in saying that I'm not the protagonist, since I always seem to only get that last one.

"Whoa! A real blacksmith!"

The black-haired, beady-eyed, tracksuit-wearing plastic-carrying boy in front of me is proof of that. Goddammit Astrea, stop involving me with the protagonists!

"Thanks for the save there, Reinhard. Honestly, I should've learned by now that I don't wanna be in random alleys." That was fast. Already calling the Sword Saint by his first name? Well, considering the kid's an isekai newbie, he probably doesn't even know that he's talking with the most powerful knight of the country.

"As I told you, Subaru, those criminals didn't like their chances with the two of us. Please, don't sell yourself short." There's being humble, and there's being Astrea I guess.

"As much as Astrea scaring the shit out of some muggers is entertaining," I drawled, drawing the attention of the two, "Who the hell are you? Why are you here? Looking to buy something?" Ha. Fat chance that the kid even has money to buy anything. Better to keep up appearances though, with Astrea standing right there.

The kid then did some ridiculous ass pose, finger pointing up, hip cocked to the side. Fuck's sake, I got a chuuni didn't I?

"The name's Natsuki- I mean, Subaru Natsuki! And I!" He pointed his finger down at me, "Am completely broke!"

You ever heard about deafening silence? Yeah.

It's much worse for the guy that started it.

"Alright. Get out of my shop. I don't do hand-outs." I made a shooing motion with my hand. I held back on showing my relief. No, comedy gods, I'm not getting involved with this shit!

Astrea, like some divine demon, had some other plans, "Please wait a moment, Hikigaya-san. From what Subaru here has told me, he may be undertaking a dangerous quest. If you could spare something for him, I would be willing to pay."

"Hey, Rein, you don't have to do that." The comical air from Natsuki faded as incredulity made its way onto his face, "I mean, we just met and all. I don't wanna impose or anything."

The Sword Saint smiled, "It's not a problem Subaru. As you said, we just met, but I do consider you a friend. I would be a rather bad friend if I didn't make sure you weren't properly equipped."

"Give it up kid," I sighed and relented, "Once Astrea makes up his mind, there's no changing it." That, and Astrea always pays upfront. I'm not letting these two leave till they've spent at least a gold here.

Natsuki still looked a bit uncomfortable with it, so I threw him a bone, "Look, if you want, I'll just put it on your tab and you can pay me later, Astrea doesn't have to pay that way." I'll also be charging a lot more interest, but the kid doesn't need to know that, "So long as you'll let him be the collector, of course."

Because if there's one thing about the Sword Saint, it's that he will do his job.

"Fine, I can agree to that." Natsuki relented before Astrea could protest. Too late, I'm scamming the shit out of the kid. I saw the redhead sigh in exasperation. Heh, what did you expect from a merchant?

"You know where you're fighting?" I asked as I rummaged through the weapons I kept for walk-ins, while Natsuki went around and inspected a rather heavy set of armor. Hm, considering his build, a longsword wouldn't do due to the weight. Rapiers require too much skill for a, I suspected, NEET like him.

"Yeah, in the slums."

"Indoors?"

"Yes? I didn't think that you'd need to know that."

"You don't have any experience with swords, or weapons of any kind, do you?" I asked, already knowing the answer before Natsuki even shook his head, "Then there's your answer. I'm trying to figure out what I can give you without you fucking yourself over in a cave or something."

"Hey! I'm not that bad." He pouted. It would have been considered cute if it was a girl. Unfortunately, he was not.

"Sure kid, sure."

"Man, just starting my adventure and there's already the token grouchy blacksmith NPC…"

I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

It was a couple of minutes later when I came out the backroom with a few shortswords and a couple of knives, them being the only things I was confident that Natsuki could use. When I came back, it was to the sight of the probable-protagonist talking with a frowning Astrea.

I was immediately on edge.

"Ah, Hikigaya-san, could you please confirm something for me?" The Sword Saint motioned for Natsuki, "Apparently, the opponent of Subaru here uses some…particular weapons." I raised an eyebrow at his tone. Tense, ready for a fight, if I had to put a name to it.

"They're seriously a piece of work man. Those knives are, like, straight out of a storybook villain." I put down the swords in my hand as I grabbed some paper.

"Draw them." I said as flatly as I could, trying to remain calm. If Astrea's reaction was anything to go by, then this was serious.

"Oh, uh, sure." The kid started to draw, and just by the start of it, I could feel a pit in my stomach. And right after I'd finally calmed down after the whole Witch Cult thing that the redhead sprung on me.

"Here you go! I tell ya, having her knife in the gut? Really not fun." Once more, my heart dropped as I recognized the design. Made worse by the smattering of descriptions of the woman that I heard.

And why the wouldn't I recognize the damn blades of the Bowel Hunter?

It was almost three months ago when it happened. I was closing up shop for the day when my door opened.

"Shop's closed, come back tomorrow." I was too damn tired to deal with customers, much less some privileged noble by the looks of her clothes. She gave me a smile that put me on edge. It was way, way too sultry for my liking. But it wasn't just that.

The way she walked was eerily quiet. It was as if she wasn't even walking, much less in heels, "Ara, wouldn't you make an exception for a poor maiden like myself?" When she spoke, it was with the same sultriness of her smile, only amplified.

I didn't budge.

"Look, if you want to be a paying customer, you come back during opening hours. If you can't understand that, then I'd rather you fuck off." I had dealt with too many people trying to get what they want without realizing how unreasonable they were being. If being rude weeds these people out, then I'll be the rudest asshole as I can be.

"Oh, but who said I'm a paying customer?"

That was my only warning before I heard a whistling sound. It was an instant later before a knife was at my throat. Made of poor quality iron, if I had to guess.

I didn't hesitate to slam my foot in the ground, "Dona!" A slab of rock came up and jutted into my assailant's torso. She didn't waste a moment to try and slash my throat. It didn't work - I'd already buffed my skin to be hard as steel.

"My, my! I didn't expect you to fight back!" She launched herself back, as if she didn't just take something that would've crushed ribs into her unprotected stomach. Magic can be such bullshit sometimes.

"Leave." I ground out, fully expecting the woman to not do so. "I don't know what you want, but you won't get it from me." I subtly increased the buffs I had to my clothes. Thin as they may be, they'll stop anything short of a full-on swing by a greatsword.

She disappeared. I raised my arms in front of me to block, but near instantly I felt a burn against my stomach. I retaliated again, a right hook that connected with the side of her head. She didn't budge, even as the blade bounced off.

It was a flurry of blows, mine from buffing myself, while the other I could tell was just her physical prowess.

The blade came down on my left ear. Deflected by my arm. Stone came to strike from behind. Tanked, with no signs of it slowing her down. A stab to my heart. Stopped dead by my clothing. Stone from my palm as if shot from a shotgun. Peppered on her body, no reaction.

No, that's wrong. There was a reaction.

A smile of pure ecstasy.

A sudden kick to my stomach. A sharpened rock to her eye. A slash to my arm. A punch to her throat.

Neither of us could get the upper hand. At least, that's how it appeared to be. Slowly, I could tell that my magic was doing work debuffing my opponent with every hit. It was marginal, but it was noticeable enough. It went on, each attack being rebuffed somehow.

Finally, a breakthrough.

A blade of stone pierced skin.

Where before the intruder took everything in stride, this time, she actually flinched and leapt back. The wound was miniscule, barely a scratch on her arm. In all honesty, had it been me, I would never have noticed.

She looked at it in wonder.

"When I came here, I didn't expect such a lovely plaything." She licked the wound, a blush on her face. I could feel my face scrunch up in disgust. This was, beyond any doubt, a psycho.

"Ah, but all good things have to come to an end." She moved. Faster than before, faster than she should have been after being debuffed by so much.

A wet squelch.

An old, rusty knife in my gut.

I fell back onto the hardwood floor.

I spat out blood.

Agony ripped through me like no other. I could feel her wrenching the knife side to side. I couldn't hear anything other than distant screaming. It wasn't until a moment later that I realized it was me. I could feel the knife move upward, carving up flesh. Ripples of pain renewed coursed through me.

"I have a job for you." Her tone was serene, "Please, make three pairs of this for me. If you do, I'll promise to leave you alone. If not…well, I always wanted to try disemboweling the Kingdom's knights." I could hear the smile in her voice. A happy one.

I didn't - couldn't - think. The pain was just too much. I felt the blade leave my stomach. Blood flowed freely. At this rate, I'll bleed out like this. She leaned in close to me, I could feel her breath tickling my ear. It brought even more disgust.

"I'll be back."

The door burst open.

"Hikigaya-san!" A familiar voice. A sudden shock of wind. Female laughter growing distant.

"Julius, stem the blood. I need to go get Felix." A hand to my wound. Another burst of wind.

I could feel myself growing distant. A voice filtered in and out of my hearing.

Darkness.

When I came to, I didn't expect to do so. I was in my bedroom, Argyle hovering over me with uncharacteristic seriousness. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. Instead, I could feel the scratchiness of my throat.

"Don't talk. You've already lost a lot of blood; you need some rest." Juukulius came into the room, hand on his sword. He gave a thankful nod to Argyle, though the catboy didn't pay it any attention. He shifted his attention to me, a hint of frustration leaking in his frown.

"There seems to be no sign of your assailant, Hikigaya. I'm sorry." I grit my teeth, wanting to lash out at the so-called Finest Knight. I didn't. I remember that the woman wanted to fight a knight. Giving her the opportunity to do so would only make her happier, I would imagine.

"Julius, you have the worst bedside manner I've ever seen." Argyle said as flatly as he could. The other knight at least had the decency to look abashed. Heh. Not like I cared.

"Hikigaya. I'll be honest here; you're lucky that Reinhard got me here in time. If he had been even a touch slower, we'd be burying you right about now." Argyle sighed as he rolled his shoulders, "You lost enough blood that you shouldn't even be awake. Hell, I'd thought you'd be out of it for at least a couple of days."

I grimaced as I felt the sting of the telltale signs of a scar on my stomach.

"How'd you even know to come over here?" The two knights glanced at each other, before Argyle motioned his head towards me.

Juukulius nodded back and started talking, "We've been following a string of murders these past couple of weeks." He sat down on an empty chair next to my bed.

"From what we saw, all of them were by one individual. Each of them having their throats slashed, and their intestines pulled out." I felt sick. I already had a good idea where he was going with this. Meanwhile, I could hear Argyle grinding his teeth as he whispered 'Bedside manner' angrily at the other knight.

Still, the purple-haired man continued.

"All of them had a few things in common: They were all blacksmiths, and they were killed just as they were closing for the day. Going by that, we were keeping watch over the remaining blacksmiths in the city to intervene against the perpetrator." Juukulius' face turned sour as bitterness echoed in his voice, "To tell you the truth, we didn't even have a description of the criminal before all of this; not even Reinhard's blessings could track them down. Neither could we pin a motive, nor could we even find a starting point. Hence, we started patrolling near here, as this area has the highest concentration of blacksmiths in the city."

A moment of silence. Finally, I asked, "Then why am I still alive?" If this woman really wanted to go on a blacksmith-killing spree, then I should be by all means dead. She already had me dead-to-rights the moment her knife cut into my flesh.

And yet, here I stand.

It was Argyle that responded, "Because of this."

A piece of paper was handed to me. It was of a hauntingly beautiful kukri. Accented in purple, curved in a way that I knew it could be used as both a melee and as a throwing weapon. This design was most common in Gusteko, if I recall correctly.

The woman's words to me echoed.

'I have a job for you.'

"The woman you fought was likely the Bowel Hunter, Elsa Granhiert. She's a known murderer and assassin from Gusteko. Recently, there have been rumors that she fought a Witch Cultist," Argyle's face curled up in what I could only describe as loathing, "And had her weapon of choice destroyed during the battle. We could not confirm the first rumor, but we can the second one.

"In one of the southern villages, signs of battle were investigated. From there, we found pieces of a weapon resembling that," he motioned to the paper, "With this evidence in mind, we're tentatively working on the assumption that Granhiert is looking for a blacksmith to forge her a new blade."

Fuck.

A/N: The last post of the year. Hope everyone had a better year than the last two, and here's hoping that the next year is even better. If you like what I do and want to support me, check out my P-atreon at P-atreon•com(slash)Almistyor.

Thanks to my newest patron as well: That_Guy_Jay.

As well as an extra special thanks to: jadrien pang. Your support really helps a lot. Thank you again.